How do parents notice that their child has already grown up, that he is now a teenager? Some – based on the size of clothes and shoes, which they now have to buy more often than before. For some, it’s because they can’t check their homework or show them to school. But very often the onset of adolescence reveals itself out of nowhere with aggressive behavior and rudeness. It unsettles and ruins relationships. What to do?
Transitional age of a teenager
Adolescence is the most ambiguous phenomenon that, one way or another, all people have to face.
It is important for specialists in the field of pedagogy and psychology (see Who are psychologists) to study the specifics of behavioral patterns of children who have just entered the pubertal stage of formation. On the other hand, it may well denote the very essence of the concept that is only being considered, namely, the age-specific behavior, in particular, mental processes. It is worth realizing that teenage psychology (see Adolescent Psychology) is a rather contradictory phenomenon, which is distinguished by the appearance of notes of rebellion (see Naughty Child) and inconstancy. It is adolescence that is characterized by the child’s exit from childhood. Children begin to take an active interest in their own inner world and are able to comprehend something completely new about their own personality (see Emotional contacts of a child). At this stage, the formation of critical thinking occurs against the background of rebellious behavior, complete or partial denial of behavioral patterns that were familiar before.
- general information
- 13 years old
- 14 years of age
- 15 years of age
- 16 years of age
- 17 years old
- Features of the psychology of teenage boys
- Features of the psychology of girls in adolescence
- Problems in adolescence?
- Consultation with a child and adolescent psychologist
Advice for teenage boys
Be confident
It is important for a boy to develop self-confidence from a young age. After all, it underlies all human achievements. If you are withdrawn and cowardly, then believe me, you will get a sweet kick in the ass when you enter adulthood.
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Know how to fight back
The ability to stand up for oneself is an equally important quality that every boy should have. If you don’t want to settle the matter by fighting, which I do not advise, then you must answer the offender with a word. Just let it be clear that you are not to be trifled with.
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Why teenagers should learn to fight back so as not to be losers
Take the initiative
Be a true leader. Offer solutions to problems first, before anyone else does. Participate in everything where your help is needed.
Putting off or procrastinating is the exact opposite of taking initiative. If you carry out your duties without outside reminders, you have reached the highest level of initiative.
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general information
Puberty is considered the most difficult of all possible stages of child development. It is also called transitional, as the child develops into an adult personality. There is a smooth transition from childhood to real maturity. This transformation can affect absolutely all aspects of a teenager’s life, including his physiological and anatomical transformation, moral maturation, intellectual characteristics, changes in work, educational and gaming (see Gambling) activities. The leading activity in this case is communication with peers.
One can note the introduction of changes in the circumstances associated with the child’s life, which leads to the need to achieve transformations in mental processes, a crushing change in old, those forms of interaction that are considered established in the sphere of interpersonal relationships with other adolescents and older persons. It can be noted that there are serious complications in educational activities due to a significant increase in workload and expansion of educational material that has to be learned in a short time. This, in turn, requires a deeper level of mental processes that relate to reasoned evidence, thorough generalizations, awareness of how abstract connections arise between various objects with the subsequent development of abstract concepts.
It is important to mention the transformation of his current principles, the peculiarities of his worldview, his approved social position, his desire to gain authority among his classmates in all possible ways. The child will want to take advantage of all opportunities to take a significant role in the family and school environment (see Child Self-Esteem). In this regard, he may be presented with a truly enormous number of demands, which are presented both from society and from parents, which will subsequently be much more thorough and serious.
In the process of learning activities, which are associated with certain difficulties, a noticeable improvement in all cognitive activity (see Cognitive therapy) of adolescents can be noted. They have to realize how serious the content of the learning process becomes, as a result of which they have to realize that they have developed the ability for independent thinking, critical perception, generalization, subsequent analysis, comparison and summary of all facts.
In addition, this stage in the maturation of a child’s personality will be marked by puberty. This can lead to serious complications regarding the passage of the considered stage of the entire development of the child’s personality.
What is adolescent psychology
The term can be interpreted from two points of view. In the first formulation, we are talking about science that studies the behavioral characteristics of boys and girls aged 12-17 years. The second formulation directly implies the essence of this teaching - the age-related characteristics of behavior and mental processes. This is a phenomenon that can occur in every growing person, but it is not necessary. Parents should be patient, create a number of iron-clad rules for themselves and their child, and not think that their child will remain so uncontrollable for the rest of his life.
14 years of age
The significance of each stage that will be considered is explained by the establishment during this age period of various ethical, moral principles, and attitudes of a social nature.
It can be noted that there are numerous shifts that will be in the nature of a complete breakdown of everyone who was previously vaccinated. This concerns issues related to interpersonal relationships, interests and characteristics. You need to understand that all the changes that characterize this stage are associated with subjective problems of adolescents. This is due to the experiences that exist in the soul, the presence of internal turmoil, difficulties associated with physiology.
One can also note difficulties that relate to the understanding of both teachers and parents. They may suffer from manifestations of rudeness, aggressiveness, irritability, and negativism.
Experts in the field of psychology believe that this age is called the five “nos”, since adolescents exhibit the following behavioral characteristics:
- Complete reluctance to learn, despite the presence of abilities (see Procrastination);
- Lack of desire to listen to advice;
- Reluctance to listen to any advice or recommendations;
- Lack of desire to do housework;
- Lack of desire to clean up after oneself;
- Unwillingness to be punctual.
At this stage, we can note the presence of the following changes that relate to a biological nature: a significant increase in growth, changes in the endocrine system, various transformations in the motor apparatus, lack of consistency in the growth of capillaries and myocardium. You may encounter various dysfunctions that affect the cardiovascular system.
The following biological transformations can be distinguished:
- Development of sexual desire;
- The presence of sudden changes associated with emotional states, reactions and mood (weakness, regular apathy, presence of agitation, imbalance);
- The presence of angularity, fussiness, a relaxed and vivid manifestation of the emotional component.
The main need experienced at this age stage is the desire to achieve communicative interaction with peers. Communication will represent a unique means of knowing one’s personality through other people. They want to assert themselves, demonstrate different actions in order to find themselves, their purpose.
Teenagers want to spend more time with friends, which leads to a significant decrease in motivation associated with educational activities. Boys are much less sociable than girls. Representatives of the fair sex want to communicate more with older young people.
It is worth mentioning that the psychological characteristics of a teenager at this age are associated with complications that relate to the increasing impact of the emotional sphere on completely different types of activities. Emotions will influence the attitude towards teaching staff, adults, peers, and educational activities directly. You can forget about the work of the mind (see How the subconscious mind works) in this situation.
We will help you build relationships with peers
Communication among peers becomes of paramount importance. The teenager implements methods of interaction and goes through the stages of social relationships. The purpose of communication is to realize the need for acceptance, recognition, and gaining authority. Joint comprehension of the world is of particular value.
How to raise a 14-year-old daughter to maintain a good relationship? Adults should be tolerant of his friends. Any attempt to speak ill of a comrade will turn into a riot. It is advisable to give a neutral assessment to a teenager's friend. The freedom to choose people according to their spirit is perceived as the right to adulthood. Relationships with peers are friendly. By the end of adolescence, friendships appear.
In a teenage team there is a hierarchy, there is a leader. Groups live by the “code of honor” they created. Parents should pay close attention to what kind of environment their teenager prefers. Bad company is a signal that there is discord between the adults and the child. Swearing and prohibitions will not bring results. The best way out is to change the attitude towards the teenager and allow him to be an adult.
Features of the psychology of teenage boys
Experts say that boys are faced with biological maturation, which is associated with the emergence of completely new interests and disappointment with previous hobbies.
There is a separation from childhood, the awareness of what will happen next is completely absent, as a result of which there will be a feeling of psychological discomfort.
We can mention the active growth of boys with changes in hormonal levels, skeletal growth, and brittle voice.
Young men during this period are characterized by an extreme degree of intolerance, lack of loyalty, and lack of desire to help their neighbors. They need to pay more attention to their appearance and gain authority among their peers. I don't want to be the object of ridicule.
Hormonal changes lead to acne and excess weight gain. The boy experiences erections and the appearance of wet dreams that are beyond any control, which is scary at first.
We can also note the presence of other changes that are associated with changes in outlook on life, searches for answers to questions that the teenager has not even thought about. It is important to understand that he often exaggerates his abilities too much.
The specificity of this age concerns the emergence of contradictions between the emotional component and common sense. One can note the lack of full development of the prefrontal zone, due to the emergence of major problems relating to behavior. Teenagers do not always understand how to conduct a competent analysis of a situation. This is due precisely to the immaturity of nervous processes.
Chronicle of growing up: girl, girl, woman
To the questions: “At what age does adolescence begin in girls and when does it end?” there is no clear answer. Each child is unique both physically and mentally. For some, this dangerous time in life goes smoothly and unnoticed, for others it is accompanied by emotionally charged symptoms.
In physiology, much depends on heredity, national characteristics, and social and living conditions. Therefore, mothers need to try to remember their own transition experiences. It would be a good idea to talk to older female relatives to try to draw possible parallels.
The age values given are of an average nature, but nevertheless serve as a recognized guideline. Experts distinguish several transitional stages in girls: 1 year, 7, 12, 14 and 16 years. Their essence is that the old physiological form and system of life values is becoming obsolete. The child changes not only externally. Dramatic changes occur in his inner space, motivation of behavior, relationships with adults and peers.
The most dangerous transformations are those directly caused by puberty. For most girls it lasts from 11 to 16 years. Let us consider in more detail what processes take place in a growing organism.
Features of the psychology of girls in adolescence
We can mention the intensive growth of the body with hormonal changes. The girls' bodies become more rounded, and you can notice an increase in weight due to their feminine contours.
The body has to quickly adapt to the changes that occur. Physical and mental exhaustion may occur. Girls suffer from increased fatigue, apathy and drowsiness. It is worth mentioning the exacerbation of ailments associated with chronic diseases, the emergence of completely new diseases.
Skin deterioration is associated with the growth of hormones, which has a negative effect on the emotional component of the child. One can also note the appearance of the first menstruation, which includes not only discharge, but also swelling in the chest, increased tearfulness, irritability, and increased appetite.
All processes that occur in organisms will in any case be reflected in the children's nervous system. Girls will suffer from excess weight (see Excess weight), skin problems, and the appearance of sweat odor, which will invariably affect their self-esteem and subsequent complexes.
One can also note a frequent susceptibility to sadness and despondency. Teenagers believe that everything is bad for them, and parents and significant adults do not understand their needs. One can also note a significant deterioration in memory, a decrease in concentration, and an impairment in the ability to correctly express one’s thoughts.
Psychologists say that girls at this age can resemble three-year-olds. They often say phrases that are designed to alienate those around them and those close to them.
General Tips
Improve yourself
If I had to single out one piece of advice from this list, I would definitely leave this one out.
My site is dedicated to the topic of self-development. Therefore, if you don’t know where to start self-improvement, follow the link and read. Click here!
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Where to start self-development | Plan, exercises, books and more
Set goals
In a few words, setting a goal means defining the reason why you live.
Think about how you want to see yourself when you become an adult. What will you wear, where will you live, and most importantly, what will you do. Most likely, this will be your goal.
Don't hesitate and write your goal down on paper right now.
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How a teenager can start managing his life | 3 methods
Think big
Don't be afraid to dream big. This is how great goals are achieved.
Try it now. Take a notepad and write down what you want to achieve, acquire or experience. It could be anything: an orange Ferrari, your own airline, riding a camel. The main thing is not to limit yourself and not be afraid to think even bigger.
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Read books
In 1.5 years I read more than 30 books. One of my favorites is Morning Magic by Hal Elrod.
Important note! The books I read are not just classic novels, but self-help books. Only they can expand your horizons, change your train of thought and present a brilliant idea.
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TOP 28: List of books for self-development | The best in recent times
Plan your day
If you can clearly and correctly distribute your time, you will be surprised how quickly you will cope with your responsibilities. Thanks to planning, you will have more free time. You can play on the computer for an extra hour, or spend it learning English. Everyone has their own choice
