Is it necessary to start a family nowadays? Why doesn't family mean anything these days?

The dream of a marriage that is “made in heaven” is completely unrealistic; Any stable relationship between a man and a woman needs to be constantly worked on, built and rebuilt, constantly updating them through mutual personal development. Family is the most important thing in the world. If you don't have a family, consider that you have nothing. Family is the strongest bond in your life. Johnny Depp

Family plays a huge role in the success of any person. And in most cases, it becomes the most valuable gift of fate for each of us. So what is family, what is it like?

What is a family: definition

A family is a group of people based on blood or marriage. This is a small group whose members are connected by a commonality of life (the established order of everyday life), mutual assistance, obtaining sexual pleasures (for husband and wife), giving birth and raising children.

This includes: mutual support among family members; the presence of material and moral community: there are no “I”s in the family, there are “we”.

The definition of family is also given in family law: a family is a group of persons bound by property and non-property responsibilities and rights arising from kinship, marriage or adoption. A “full family” in the legal sense consists of a father, mother and child (or children). “Incomplete family” - a father with a child (or children) or a mother with a child (or children).

A successful marriage is a building that needs to be reconstructed every day. A. Maurois
Marriage is an agreement, the terms of which are reviewed and reaffirmed daily. B. Bardo

Here are the main characteristics of a family:

Cohabitation;
presence of common children (in most cases);
mutual support among family members;
the presence of material and moral community;
Mental, spiritual and emotional intimacy of its members.
Closedness, interpersonal intimacy.
The duration of the relationship, responsibility for each other, duty to each other.

Main functions of the family:

The birth of offspring, raising children, self-realization of parental feelings.
Satisfying sexual needs, obtaining sexual pleasure.
Economic benefits for family members; meeting the material needs of family members, increasing the well-being of both the family and its individual members.
Restoration of physical and intellectual strength. It's like an aquarium where you can swim in a warm, relaxing atmosphere.
Satisfying the needs for sympathy, respect, recognition, support, emotional protection, love and admiration.
Joint leisure activities and spiritual enrichment of each other.

Why is family so important?

It is known that in a number of economically developed, prosperous countries there has been a tendency for young people to live alone and do not strive to create serious relationships and start a family. This approach, on the one hand, can be justified by the norms of a democratic society, on the other hand, such a tendency looks selfish and short-sighted.

So why does a modern person need a family?

Main functions of the family

1. Reproductive. An important function of the family is procreation - procreation and raising children.

2. Educational. The family educates new members of society, contributes to the transfer of experience, norms and knowledge to them. The elders in the family pass on their life philosophy and wisdom to new generations. From an early age, in his family, a person assimilates real life values and learns moral standards. A long family life contributes to the development of the personality of each of its members throughout time.

3. Emotional. A person at any age finds peace and relaxation in his home, where loved ones can understand, help and support. Experts place the emotional and psychological importance of the family in first place.

4. Economic. From an economic point of view, a family is a “piggy bank” where material values are jointly accumulated and a person’s personal well-being is improved and his financial needs are met. For disabled and minor members, family is the main material support.

5. Developmental (leisure). A harmonious healthy family develops a person. Parents and children spend time together, travel, study and become familiar with aesthetic values.

6. Sexy. The significance of this function is to satisfy sexual needs between husband and wife.

The above functions can be satisfied without being in a family relationship. But only a family can unite all functions.

Family = not Seven + Me, but WE

That family is strong, Where there is no possession of the letter “I”, Where only the word “we” rules, Where there are joint dreams. © Mother Teresa

There are four types of married couples:

you and I equals You;
you and I equals I;
you and I equals We;
you and I equals You and Me.

This is largely determined by the rules of a game such as “family” accepted between people, members of such a family.

It is worth remembering: relationships are a choice and responsibility of both people. This is a choice - to be or not to be, and if to be, then how.

In life, it turns out that in order to get something, you have to work hard. Sometimes it’s easy to ask, and sometimes you just invest.

We put a lot of effort into satisfying our needs for food, a roof over our heads, and financial security. And in order to satisfy your needs for love, for human warmth, for tenderness, care, affection, emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy..? Who is responsible for keeping us fed, satisfied and happy? Whose responsibility is this?

Mom and dad, or maybe His or Her? An adult is responsible for meeting his own needs .

Now, let's look at the “Me plus Me” family and the “We” family - these are two different family models.

Family "I+I"

The “I+I” family is when partners each live their own lives, still take care of themselves first and foremost and value their personal freedom. Or rather, independence. And to be honest, by your freedom from the other.

I respect your territory - don’t get into my territory. Fine? Well, that’s great, let me kiss you, honey!

The “I + I” family is a transaction between two individuals, mutual use: you for me, I for you.

Usually, the I+I model is based on the belief that a man initially has his own masculine interests, and a woman can only be there temporarily. Or a woman needs her own (for example, a child), and a man is needed only as a source of money (status, reliability, the role of a father or other important moments in life).

Each of us needs our own, but being together and nearby is more profitable for us than living separately.

One of the signs of the I+I family is the desire to have an alternate airfield: just in case.

"WE" family

What is a “WE” family ? This is a relationship between two people when all participants in such a relationship become as if one whole.

This is not some final state. We can say that the more ideal a family or couple is, the more WE they are, and not I+I+I...

This can be thought of as a scale.

On the one hand, family members can feel absolutely “ON THESELF.” This is not a very high level family. Very close to living alone. You look at the world, make decisions only from the position of “I”, without particularly considering the interests of other family members. You can’t really count on the support of another member of such a family.

On the other hand, you feel like you are part of “WE”. You have the feeling that you are part of a community called “FAMILY”. You look at the world as part of a family; in your decisions you think about other family members and take into account their interests. You know that you can count on the support of other family members, but you yourself are ready to provide such support if necessary. It’s as if you are all members of your family at the same time.

And between these sides there are many intermediate states.

Family is not seven I, it’s WE

Divorce is out of the question, so we have two options: either shoot yourself or learn to negotiate

The essence of the WE family: taking care of both of us, ourselves and you, our couple. We were separate, but we became together, we became a couple: you become part of me, I become part of you. “You and I are one.”

In “WE”: You and I are one, a continuation of each other . In the WE family there may be elements of a transaction, but its basis is different: the couple lives by faith in love, in the fact that the other can take care of you as if he were taking care of himself.

The “WE” family type suits few people. It is only suitable for:

who exactly wants a family like this? In reality there are not very many of them.
who believes in the possibility of such a family. Young people often believe in such a family until they try to move on from romantic fairy tales and “blah-blah” to action.
to those who can handle such a family, who have the personal strength to build such a family.

The “WE” family is a significantly more complex construction than the “I+I” family. Only mature people with life experience and wisdom can really do it.

From a man it requires the ability to be the head of the family, from a woman - a willingness to support her husband’s decisions. And both of them should think first not about their own interests, but about the interests of the family.

But if a couple, or at least one in a couple, cannot cope with the WE relationship, controversial and simply crooked options for the WE relationship appear.

The deep crisis of modern Russian society and the crisis of the family are closely interconnected. They have common roots and are built on the same foundation. After all, it is from the family that a person brings into public and state life those qualities that become a source of creation or evil and destruction. Just as a sick cell creates sick organisms, so a spiritually damaged family reproduces morally unhealthy relationships in society.

On the other hand, the mores that dominate modern society have an inevitable impact on the family and the nature of family relationships. Even modern sociologists today consider most families to be in crisis, believing that there is no place in them for either the traditional family structure or the “egalitarianism” that supporters of the modernization of family relations love to talk about. The modern family is rapidly collapsing also because the very foundations of its formation have been violated - people are getting married to random acquaintances, guided either by pragmatic calculations or by momentary loves that have nothing to do with true love.

Is there a place for spirituality and morality in the family we know now? Very rare families can be called among the spiritual ones, having clear moral principles. Such families are truly happy, because they do not live to satisfy some mercantile needs, not for entertainment and consumption.

The essence and meaning of a real family, as the American philosopher and writer L. Ron Hubbard believed, is not simply population reproduction or childbearing, as some sociologists believe, but procreation in the broadest sense of the word. The family acts as a connecting link between generations of the clan in all planes of existence. Through it, the race develops the mental and spiritual qualities inherent in its nature. Through the family, precisely through the family, the clan realizes itself, its purpose. It is then that the race will be able to embody, express and develop its physical, psychological, spiritual and moral essence.

Modern society needs a speedy spiritual revival, one might even say, salvation. But numerous social and sociocultural problems of modern society cannot be solved without working on oneself, on one’s families and the relationships in them. Spiritual development should become the flagship of the improvement of the modern family, and it should begin with building the right relationship between spouses.

Modern spouses often forget about their original roles: men as breadwinners and heads of the family, women as mothers, custodians of the family hearth. This is the main problem of modern family relationships. Therefore, in order to overcome the spiritual and moral crisis of the modern family, it is necessary to return the traditional system of family roles and build family relationships based on the love and respect of spouses for each other.

Accordingly, in order for children to create happy family relationships in the future, it is necessary to educate them in the proper spirit, to instill in them the correct moral principles, moral and spiritual values from early childhood. This does not mean that the family should be completely isolated from any information coming from “outside” and not participate in the life of modern society, but it is necessary to give a correct assessment of all ongoing events and imposed values, transmit this assessment to children, cultivating in them a correct, healthy attitude towards social vices and the desire for spiritual development, rather than material consumption.

Alena Verukhina

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Family structure

Family shares things like dreams, hopes, memories, smiles, sadness and joy. A family is a clan that is held together by the glue of love and held together by the cement of mutual respect. It is a refuge from the storm; a friendly port when the waves of life get too big and rough. This cannot be understood unless you are a member of the family.

Family tree of a family with several branches

There are many types of families with different organization:

A monogamous family differs from a polygamous family in that, as a rule, it consists of two partners. While in a polygamous family, one of the spouses can have several marriage partners at once.
Families can vary in the number of children and are divided into several types: childless family; one-child family (1 child); small family (1-2 children); medium-sized family (3-4 children); large family (from 5 children);
In modern society, the nuclear family is most common. What is a nuclear family? A nuclear family consists of one married couple with or without children. A complex family includes several generations (grandfathers, grandmothers, sisters and their husbands, brothers and their wives, nephews, etc.)
Young family. A family can be considered young if it meets the following parameters: the age of the spouses must be from 18 to 30 years; the marriage must be entered into for the first time, and the duration of marriage must not exceed 3 years.
A Swedish family is a family in which three people (two of whom are of the same sex) live together. At the same time, relationships between partners can be different and do not always involve joint sex.

There is one very important observation. It is important that both family members clearly understand which of them is the leader in the family. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman, but they both understand who it is.

If the leader in the family is a man, then the family, according to some observations, is happier. Perhaps this has something to do with the historical distribution of roles in the family and with physiology, and specifically with the production of testosterone - the male hormone.

Family types

The main criterion for classification is family composition, i.e.
number of people who are family members. For example, depending on the number of parents

highlight:

single-parent families (only father or only mother and child).
complete families (family members include both parents and one or more children).

According to the number of generations included in the family
, there are:

nuclear families (consist of one or two generations - spouses and their minor children).
extended families (also includes parents of spouses).

Depending on the number of children
, the following classification is carried out:

childless family (dyad of spouses without children)
small family (from one to two children)
medium-sized family (three or four children)
large family (five children or more)

But, as a rule, families with three or more children are considered large.
Despite the advantage of wealth and diversity of internal connections, which contribute to faster and more effective socialization of the younger generation, large families are exposed to many risks. First of all, economic. Thus, families with many children often become poor as a result of household expenses.

A low-income family is one whose average income per person is less than the subsistence minimum. The total family income is taken into account, which includes:

salary;
income from individual entrepreneurial activity;
scholarships;
pensions;
benefits;
income from rental property, etc.

Low-income status is assigned only when a family, for objective reasons, has a low income level. The financial issue also arises acutely in young families, which, due to, as a rule, the inexperience of members, are not always able to ensure their survival, as well as rationally control expenses.

Family resources: their types

The husband forgives everything while the total value thanks to his wife increases rapidly. Elena Ermolova

To meet the needs of family members, it is necessary to have certain resources.

Family resources are material, monetary and production means, opportunities, values and sources of income.

There are several types of resources:

Family traditions are the usual family norms, behavior patterns, customs and views that are passed on from generation to generation.
Material resources. Includes any real estate, household appliances and vehicles.
Labor resources. They mean family members with their ability to run the household.
Financial resources. Includes money, securities, bank accounts, etc.
Technological resources. Repair technology, cooking technology, etc. are used.

A family can be compared to a company. Some companies have great financial and technological potential and can make a big impact on lives. Being part of such a company is very comfortable and pleasant. But we must remember that such companies were not built right away.

But some families are like bankrupt companies. Being part of them means eternal losses, hassle, losses and a complete lack of prospects. But, again, these companies were created this way and their bankruptcy state is constantly maintained.

Psychological climate of the family

What words you use to call your wife and children is how they will be for you in life. First of all, don't call them "Dear"! Stas Yankovsky

Psychological climate is a more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family, which arises from the mood of family members, their emotional experiences and worries, attitudes towards each other, towards other people, towards work, towards surrounding events. A good emotional atmosphere in the family ensures the stability of the marriage.

The psychological climate in the family determines the stability of intrafamily relationships. It is created and can change. Each family member creates this climate and whether it will be favorable or unfavorable depends on these efforts. And how long will the marriage last?

A favorable psychological climate is characterized by: cohesion, the possibility of comprehensive development of everyone’s personality, high, benevolent demands of family members towards each other, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one’s family, and responsibility. In such a family, each member treats the others with love, respect and trust, and also treats parents with reverence, and the weaker ones with readiness to help at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of a family are the desire of its members to spend free time in the home circle, talk about topics that interest everyone, do homework together, and emphasize the virtues and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate promotes harmony, reduces the severity of emerging conflicts, relieves stress, increases the assessment of one’s own social significance and realizes the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis for a favorable family climate is marital relationships. Living together requires spouses to be willing to compromise, to be able to take into account the needs of their partner, to give in to each other, and to develop such qualities as mutual respect, trust, and mutual understanding.

When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, and alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a lack of positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family is threatened.

LiveInternetLiveInternet

Monday, March 21, 2020 11:57 + to quote book Let's start stupidly with Wikipedia! And let's continue further! Family is a social institution, the basic unit of society[1][2], characterized, in particular, by the following features[3][4][5][2][6]: the union of a man and a woman[3][5][6 ]; By voluntarily entering into marriage[3][2], family members are connected by a common life[3][4][5][6]; entering into a marriage relationship[3][4][5]; the desire to give birth, socialize and raise children[3][4][5]. The family belongs to the most important social values[7]. According to some scientific theories, it was the form of the family that could determine the general direction of the evolution of macrosocial systems for many centuries[8]. Each member of society, in addition to social status, ethnicity, property and financial status, from the moment of birth to the end of life has such a characteristic as family and marital status. At the stages of a person’s life cycle, his functions and status in the family change successively. For an adult, the family is a source of satisfaction for a number of his needs and a small team that imposes various and quite complex demands on him. For a child, the family is the environment in which the conditions for his physical, mental, emotional and intellectual development are formed. The content of the concept of “family” is transformed following the sociocultural changes in society[9]. A family can also be understood as a parent couple or one parent with at least one child[10], as well as same-sex unions legalized in a number of countries[11]. Contents 1 Definition of family 2 Family in demography 3 History 4 Family cycle 4.1 Family structure in demographic statistics 5 Types of family and its organization 6 Social characteristics of the family 7 Functions of the family 8 Family psychology 8.1 Psychological climate of the family 9 Family traditions 10 See also 11 Notes 12 Literature 13 Links Definition of family Family is a community based on the marriage of spouses (father, mother) and their unmarried children (own and adopted), connected spiritually, by common life and mutual moral responsibility. A family is created on the basis of marriage, consanguinity, adoption, as well as on other grounds not prohibited by law and those that do not contradict the moral foundations of society. Despite its common use, the concept of family is quite multifaceted, and its clear scientific definition is quite difficult. The definition of family may differ in some ways in different societies and cultures. In addition, often the definition also depends on the area in relation to which this definition is given. There are many definitions of family. Each of them depends on specific historical, ethnic and socio-economic conditions, as well as on the specific objectives of the study[12][13]. According to the classic definition of one of the leading English sociologists, Anthony Giddens, a family is understood as “a group of people connected by direct family relationships, the adult members of which assume responsibility for caring for children.” In the context of this definition, kinship relationships are considered to be relationships that arise during marriage (that is, a sexual union of two adults that has received recognition and approval from society) or that are a consequence of a blood connection between individuals[14]. Family is a small group based on marriage or consanguinity, whose members are bound by a common life, mutual assistance, moral and legal responsibility[15][9]. In law, the family is understood as a legitimate social institution under the protection of the state. Typically, a “complete family” in the legal sense consists of a father, mother and child (or children); “Incomplete family” - a father with a child (or children) or a mother with a child (or children)[12]. In Russian family law, a family is defined as a circle of persons bound by personal non-property and property rights and obligations arising from marriage, kinship, and adoption[16]. The genealogical definition of family represents it as a collection of people related by blood or property. This definition, on the one hand, is broader than the legal definition of a family; on the other hand, it excludes adoptive parents and children from the list of family members[17]. The psychological approach to the family (this approach, in particular, is followed by Klaus Schneewind) understands the family as a certain set of individuals that meets four criteria [18]: Mental, spiritual and emotional closeness of its members. Spatial and temporal limitations. Closedness, interpersonal intimacy. The duration of the relationship, responsibility for each other, duty to each other. The social aspect in defining the concept of family dominated in socialist society, according to the position of Marxism that “the family gives us a miniature picture of the same opposites and contradictions in which society moves”[19]. At different historical stages in the development of family relations, territorial and economic aspects prevailed. For example, in France, “the concept of family included a group of people locked behind one lock at night” [20], and Russian zemstvo statistics, when conducting household censuses, defined a family by the number of eaters, based on the fact that “according to the peasants, the concept of family includes a circle of people who constantly eat at the same table or eat from the same pot”[21]. However, despite the importance of the socio-economic function of the family, it should be distinguished from the household, which can be run by an individual or a group of people not related by kinship. In the same way, living in the same living space cannot be the defining definition of a family today. At all times, its basis still remains the purely biological concept of a married couple cohabiting with their descendants and elderly representatives of the older generation. History of the Holy Family with Saint Anne and John the Baptist. Painting by Agnolo Bronzino, c. 1530 Ancient family (painting by Francisco Goya) The Russian word “family” is of Slavic and Indo-European origin (cf. lit. Šeima), going back to the meaning of territorial community[26][27] (cf. lit. Zeme: Earth). In the Old Slavic and Old Russian languages, the word semiya meant both family in general (all members of the clan living together), and servants, household members, slaves[28]. The scientific study of forms of family life began in the 19th century and is associated with the works of I. Bachofen, L. Morgan[29], M. M. Kovalevsky. In particular, it was shown that the type of family highly dominated the nature of the further evolution of the corresponding society[30]. Before World War II, Russia was dominated by the patriarchal family, which is characterized by the predominance of men in the home and the subordination of all other family members to him. In the post-war years, from the late 40s to the 80s, the child-centered family became dominant, in which great importance is attached to the well-being of children and the preservation of marriage in the interests of children. More recently, in recent decades, a married family has emerged [source not specified 1913 days], in which equal relationships dominate; the stability of the marriage depends on the desires and quality of the relationship between the spouses. The economic independence of women and the increase in their social status inevitably presupposes a different type of marriage—a partnership. Many researchers note a change in the functions of the family towards its greater psychologization and intimacy. The 20th century saw a shift from marriage of convenience or obligation to marriage of love. On the one hand, as Kon I.S. notes, this is a huge achievement of humanity, but on the other hand, such a marriage implies a high frequency of divorce for psychological reasons, such as “dissimilarity of characters,” which leads to less stability of marriages. As Cohn notes, the main trend underlying all these processes is a change in value orientations, the center of which is now not the family group, but the individual[31]. Social and psychological attitudes towards fertility have also changed. Representatives of older than younger generations agree much more often with the judgment that “every woman’s duty to become a mother” and “every man’s duty to raise children.” The shifts in women's attitudes are especially noticeable. To the question “Should every woman become a mother?” among those surveyed in the late 1990s. Only 20% of St. Petersburg women aged 18 to 29 answered affirmatively, and among 30-39 year olds - only 17%. This means that motherhood, which religious morality has always considered the main hypostasis of a woman, becomes only one of her social identities. In Russians’ ideas about the fair distribution of family functions and the responsibilities of mother and father, traditionalist attitudes compete with egalitarian ones, accompanied by harsh mutual accusations between men and women. Signs of family transformation began to appear in developed European countries already in the mid-1960s, and in other European countries - from the late 1980s to early 1990s. The list of the most important changes in the state of the family was briefly formulated by Dirk van de Kaa [32]: the transition from the “golden age” of marriage to a concubine union; transition from a pair of “child-king with parents” to a “pair of kings with a child”; transition from contraception for protection purposes to contraception as self-expression; transition from a homogeneous economy to pluralistic types of family and household [33]. Family cycle From the point of view of population reproduction, a very important criterion for constructing a demographic typology of families is the stage of the family life cycle. The family cycle is determined by the following stages of parenthood: preparenthood - the period from marriage to the birth of the first child; reproductive parenthood - the period between the births of the first and last children; socialization parenthood - the period from the birth of the first child to the separation from the family (most often through marriage) of the last child (in the case of one child in a family coincides with the previous stage) grandparenthood - the period from the birth of the first grandchild to the death of one of the grandparents Family structure in demographic statistics Evolution of family types in the United States from 1970 to 2000 [34] Family structure, like marriage, is a momentary indicator recorded during censuses or special population surveys. Therefore, it is possible to give an idea of the family structure of the population only from census or survey data. At the same time, the practice of demographic statistics distinguishes families according to the following characteristics: family size (number of its members); family type (nuclear, complex, complete, incomplete) Nuclear families are families consisting of one married couple with children. Complex family - other relatives are added to the family core, both in the ascending line (grandparents, great-grandparents) and in the collateral lines (various relatives of each spouse). It may also include several married couples, the members of which are related by kinship and joint farming. number of children in the family small families - 1-2 children (not enough for natural increase) medium-sized families - 3-4 children (enough for small-scale reproduction, as well as for the emergence of intra-group dynamics) large families - 5 or more children (much more than this necessary to replace generations) It is noteworthy that in Russia, until 1992, only mothers who raised 5 or more children were considered to have many children (awards were awarded for demographic achievements: Medal "Motherhood Medal" II and I degrees - awarded to mothers who raised 5 and 6 children; Order “Maternal Glory” III, II, I degrees - awarded to mothers who raised 7, 8 and 9 children, respectively, the Order of “Mother Heroine” was awarded to mothers who raised 10 or more children). Today, officially, “large families” start from three children, that is, a family of average children is considered to have many children. It is precisely this number of children that today is the most optimal family, comfortable for the state, and enjoying comprehensive social support, in accordance with Decree of the President of the Russian Federation of May 5, 1992 N 431 “On measures for social support of large families.” Types of family and its organization Modern American family, including all relatives, middle class from the Midwest[35] Modern Spanish family, including all relatives[36] In a comprehensive study of family structure, they are considered in a complex combination. From a demographic point of view, there are several types of family and its organization. Depending on the number of partners: monogamous family - consisting of two partners; polygamous family - consisting of more than two partners; polygamy (polygyny) - the simultaneous condition of a man being married to several women. Moreover, marriage is concluded by a man with each of the women separately. For example, in Sharia there is a limit on the number of wives - no more than four polyandry - the simultaneous condition of a woman being married to several men. It is rare, for example, among the peoples of Tibet and the Hawaiian Islands, the Swedish family is a family based on a polyamorous relationship between three partners. Depending on the gender of the partners: a heterosexual family is a “traditional” family formed by one man and one woman; same-sex family - a family formed by two persons of the same sex (two men or two women). Depending on the number of children: childless or infertile family; one-child family; small family; average family; the large family. Depending on the composition: simple or nuclear family - consists of one generation, represented by parents (parent) with or without children. The nuclear family has become the most widespread in modern society. It can be: elementary - a family of three members: husband, wife and child. Such a family can, in turn, be: complete - there are both parents and at least one child incomplete - a family of only one parent with children, or a family consisting only of parents without children; composite - a complete nuclear family in which several are raised children. A compound nuclear family, where there are several children, should be considered as a conjunction of several elementary complex families or a patriarchal family - a large family of several generations. This may include grandparents, brothers and their wives, sisters and their husbands, nephews and nieces. Depending on the relationship between parents and children: parents live with their own children and before marriage they had no other children; at least one of the parents already had children before entering into this marriage, these children can live both in this and in another family (stepfamily); a family into which children are adopted (foster family)[37]. Types of families depending on the methods of choosing a family partner: endogamous, involving marriage between representatives of the same group (clan, tribe, etc.); exogamous, where marriage within a certain narrow group of people (for example, between close relatives, members of the same tribe, etc.) is prohibited. Depending on a person’s place in the family: the parental family is the family into which the person is born; reproductive - a family that a person creates himself. Depending on the family’s residence: matrilocal - a young family living with the wife’s parents; patrilocal - a family living together with the husband's parents; neolocal - the family moves to a home remote from the place of residence of the parents. Patrilineal inheritance means that children take their father's surname (in some cultures, their given name), and property usually passes down the male line. Such families are called patrilineal. Inheritance through the female line means the family is matrilineal. Torokhtiy V.S. dealt with the issues of classification of modern families[38] Each of the categories of families is characterized by the socio-psychological phenomena and processes occurring in it, its inherent marital and family relations, including the psychological aspects of objective and practical activity, the circle of communication and its content, the characteristics of emotional contacts of family members, the socio-psychological goals of the family and individual psychological needs of its members. You can learn about the features of the demographic development of families in Russia from the article “Demographic situation in the Russian Federation.” Social characteristics of the family Name of family groups Factors characterizing this group 1st group (optimal), Higher education of parents. High cultural level of the family. High material security. Good living conditions. Psychologically healthy atmosphere. No bad habits. In terms of health - optimal. 2nd group (good) Higher and secondary education of parents. High and satisfactory cultural level. Good material and living conditions. Favorable family relationships. Bad habits, except alcohol abuse. In terms of health - optimal. Group 3 (satisfactory) One of the indicators is unsatisfactory (cultural level, living conditions, family relationships). The state of health is satisfactory. Group 4 (unsatisfactory) The presence in the family of two or more unsatisfactory of the listed indicators. Low level of culture. Unfavorable psychological. Climate in the family. Bad habits are alcohol abuse. For health reasons - unsatisfactory. Family functions of sociologists identify several family functions [39]: reproductive: the birth of offspring. Educational: raising children, self -realization of parental feelings. Household: satisfaction of the material needs of family members. Recreational: restoration of physical and intellectual forces. Emotional: satisfying the needs of sympathy, respect, recognition, support, emotional protection. Spiritual: joint leisure and spiritual enrichment. Social: social control, socialization and inculture. Sexual-erotic: satisfaction of sexual-erotic needs. Researchers are unanimous in the fact that the functions reflect the historical nature of the connection between the family and society, the dynamics of family changes at different historical stages [40]. The modern family has lost many functions that cemented it in the past: production, protective, educational, etc. The function of the family should be understood as the external manifestations of the properties of a subject in this system of relations (family), certain actions for the implementation of needs. The function reflects the connection of the family group with society, as well as the orientation of its activities. However, part of the functions are resistant to changes, in this sense they can be called traditional. These include the following functions: a) reproductive - in any family the most important is the problem of childbearing. The integrity of the sexual need that provides the continuation of the genus, and love as the highest feeling makes it impossible to separate one from the other. Marital love largely depends on the nature of satisfying sexual needs, the features of their regulation and the attitude of the spouses to the problem of childbearing, the children themselves; b) economic and economic-includes the nutrition of the family, the acquisition and maintenance of home property, clothing, shoes, improvement of housing, the creation of home comfort, the organization of life and life of the family, the formation and spending of the home budget; c) regenerative - (lat. Regeneratio - revival, renewal). Means inheritance of status, surname, property, social status. This also includes the transfer of some family jewelry [41]; It is not necessary to literally literally understand jewelry by “jewelry”, they can be conveyed to any outsider, but such a jewel as an album with photographs, a stranger can not be transmitted-only to his native D) educational and educational [socialization [42]). Consists in satisfying the needs for paternity and motherhood, contacts with children, their upbringing, self -realization in children [43]; Family and social education are interconnected, complement each other and can, within certain boundaries, even replace each other, but in general they are unequal and under no circumstances can become such. Family education is more emotionally in nature than any other upbringing, because it is a “guide” of his parental love for children, causing children's response feelings for parents; e) the sphere of initial social control is the moral regulation of the behavior of family members in various areas of life, as well as the regulation of responsibility and obligations in relation to spouses, parents and children, representatives of senior and middle generations; f) recreational - (lat. Recreatio - recovery). It is associated with the vacation, the organization of leisure, care for the health and well -being of family members. g) spiritual communication - the development of personalities of family members, spiritual mutual enrichment; h) socio-status-the provision of a certain social status to family members, reproduction of the social structure; i) psychotherapeutic - allows family members to satisfy the needs of sympathy, respect, recognition, emotional support, psychological protection. While traditional functions began to weaken sharply, this new, previously unknown - psychotherapeutic function arose [41]. The marriage is successful or not depending on the activation of this function, that is, at present, family existence largely depends on the stability of close emotional relations. The psychological climate of the family in scientific literature with synonyms The concepts of “psychological climate of the family” are “psychological A,“ socio-psychological climate of the family ”. It should be noted that there are no strict definition of these concepts. For example, O. A. Dobrynin, under the socio-psychological climate of the family, understands her generalized, integrative characteristic, which reflects the degree of satisfaction of the spouses with the main aspects of the family’s life, the general tone and style of communication. The psychological climate in the family determines the stability of intra -family relations, has a decisive effect on the development of both children and adults. He is not something unchanged, given once and for all. It is created by members of each family, and it depends on their efforts how it will be, favorable or unfavorable, and how long the marriage will last. So the following features are characteristic of a favorable psychological climate: the cohesion, the possibility of comprehensive development of the personality of each of its member, the high benevolent demand of family members to each other, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in their family, responsibility. In a family with a favorable psychological climate, each of her dicks treats the rest with love, respect and trust, to parents - also with veneration, to a weaker one - readily helped at any moment. Important indicators of the favorable psychological climate of the family are the desire of its members to spend free time in the home circle, talk on topics of interest to all, do homework together, emphasize the virtues and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate contributes to harmony, reducing the severity of arising conflicts, removing stressful conditions, increasing the assessment of their own social significance and realizing the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis of the favorable climate of the family is marital relations. A joint life requires the spouses of willingness to compromise, the ability to reckon with the needs of the partner, to give in to each other, to develop in themselves such qualities as mutual respect, trust, mutual understanding. When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the performance of a family of one of their main functions - psychotherapeutic, removing stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and deficiency in positive emotions. If family members do not seek to change such a situation for the better, then the very existence of the family becomes problematic. An important factor affecting the psychological climate of the family is its composition, so in incomplete families with children, the adverse psychological climate is most often formed [44]. The psychological climate can be defined as a more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family, which is a consequence of family communication, that is, it arises as a result of the mood of the family members, their emotional experiences and unrest, relations to each other, to other people, to other people work, to surrounding events. It is worth noting that the emotional atmosphere of the family is an important factor in the effectiveness of the life of the family’s life, the state of its health in general, it determines the stability of marriage. Many Western researchers believe that in modern society the family loses its traditional functions, becoming an institution of emotional contact, a kind of “psychological refuge”. Domestic scientists also emphasize the increase in the role of emotional factors in the functioning of the family. V. S. Torokhtiy speaks of the psychological health of the family and that this "integral indicator of the dynamics of vital functions for it, expressing the qualitative side of the socio-psychological processes flowing in it and, in particular, the ability of the family to withstand undesirable influences of the social environment", It is not identical to the concept of “socio-psychological climate”, which is more applicable for groups (including small) heterogeneous composition, often uniting their members on the basis of professional activity and the presence of their broad opportunities to exit the group, etc. groups that have related ties that ensure sustainable and long -term psychological interdependence, where the proximity of interpersonal intimate experiences is maintained, where not one, but a number of general -seal goals are highlighted at the same time, and the flexibility of their priority, targeted, where its main condition is maintained, where its main condition existence is integrity - the term “psychological health of the family” is more acceptable. Psychological health is a state of spiritual psychological well -being of the family, ensuring the regulation of behavior and activities of all family members adequate to their life conditions. Torokhtiy refers to the main criteria for the psychological health of the BC family, the similarity of family values, functional and role consistency, socio-role adequacy in the family, emotional satisfaction, adaptability in micro-social relations, and aspiration for family longevity. These criteria for the psychological health of the family create a general psychological portrait of a modern family and, above all, characterize the degree of well -being. The influence of intra -family relations on the mental development of the individual - family cohesion and emotional climate of the family should always be supported; - unfair criticism, aggression negatively affect the formation of personality; - overstated requirements can also push to the manifestation of mental disorders; - The influence of stressors. Stressors are factors that adversely affect the mental formation of personality at a time when critical periods undergo, during which mental balance (divorce of parents, illness or death of a loved one, a new pregnancy of the mother, personal problems when entering into adolescence, a change of collective or the death of a person are disturbed. schools); -Hiperopeca and hypopre. For family traditions, see also: family values family traditions are ordinary norms accepted in the family, behaviors, customs and views that are passed down from generation to generation. Family traditions and rituals are, on the one hand, one of the important signs of healthy (by the definition of V. Satyr) or functional (by the definition of E. G. Eidemiller and other researchers) of the family, and, on the other hand, the presence of family traditions is one of the The most important mechanisms for the following generations of the family of the laws of intra -family interaction: the distribution of roles in all areas of family life, the rules of intra -family communication, including ways of resolving conflicts and overcoming problems. Family traditions and rites are based on social, religious and historical traditions and rituals, but they are creatively transformed and supplemented by their own, so they are unique to each family. V. Satyr considered [45] families in which: each member is perceived as equal to others; Trust, honesty and openness are significant; intra -family communication is congruent; Members support each other; Each member brings its part of responsibility for the family as a whole; rest, enjoy and rejoice at the members together; A significant place is occupied by traditions and rituals; Members accept the features and uniqueness of each of them; The right to privacy is respected (for the presence of personal space, on the inviolability of private life); The feelings of each member are accepted and worked out. In turn, the dysfunctional family, according to the Russian psychotherapists, Marik and Ev Khazins, is characterized by: denying problems and maintaining illusions. Lack of intimacy. The stiffness and inertness of the rules and roles. Conflicting relationships, including hidden. Problems with the personal boundaries of family members: they are either mixed or strictly separated. Maintaining the appearance of well -being. The polarity of judgments: "All liars, we are honest." Absolute control of the head of the family [46]. The system of traditional beliefs for Russian national culture, according to senior schoolchildren, contains the beliefs that “a man and a woman in the family must perform various roles”, “a man is a bastion of a family, a source of welfare and a defender, one who solves problems”, “the main area The woman’s activity in the family is homework and raising children ”,“ a woman should be patient, compliant and ready for self -sacrifice ”,“ parents must take care of raising children, ”and“ children must respect their parents. ” As an important belief, a negative attitude towards the infidelity of the spouses is noted: "Husband and wife should be faithful to each other, love each other and support both joy, and sorrow, in illness and old age." Schoolchildren attributed to the traditional forms of behavior in the family that “the right to make a proposal to create a family belongs to a man (groom)”; “Many family events (marriage, the birth of children, the departure of family members) are covered by the Church,” that is, there are rituals of wedding, baptism, funeral service; "The decisive word in resolving any issues belongs to a man." The greatest difficulties were caused by the question of leading discussion about what national traditions are in raising children. In addition, it turned out that even those schoolchildren who know about the differences in religious rites associated with family life (wedding, baptism of children) in various religious denominations do not know what exactly these differences consist. The main difference is indicated “more rigid submission to the wife of the husband in Muslims”, “women in the family of Muslims have less rights than in Orthodox families.” Most schoolchildren could not explain the meaning of those rites that were indicated by them as national family traditions: the meaning of the rituals of wedding, baptism and funeral service. “This, of course, is due to the fact that in 52 %of families parents and representatives of older generations either do not adhere to folk traditions and customs (more than 5 %) at all, or follow traditions inconsistently (47 %). All this leads to the fact that most schoolchildren (58.3 %) are convinced that in their future family life they do not have to follow the customs and traditions of their people. ”[47]. Ethnocultural marriage and family traditions were somehow persecuted and replaced by unified requirements. Changing in accordance with the requirements of a higher order, the family retains family traditions as one of the main ways of educating, continuing themselves. Family traditions bring all relatives closer closer, makes a family a family, and not just a community of blood relatives. Home customs and rituals can become a kind of vaccine against the removal of children from parents, their mutual misunderstanding.

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Family and child

The main idea and goal of family life is raising children. The main school of education is the relationship between husband and wife, father and mother.

The family plays a particularly important role in a child’s life. When we grow up, we often leave our parents' nest in order to improve our own lives and eventually create our own family. But by this time we had already received from our parents everything we needed to decide to set off on our own.

Education. Looking at our parents, we learn not only to repeat the simplest actions after them, but also to interact with the world around us. As children, dad and mom teach us how to hold a fork correctly or how to brush our teeth. And then, sometimes without realizing it, from the example of our parents we learn how to behave with other people: with the opposite sex, with friends, with annoying neighbors, etc.

Moral support. A person who has a family will never be lonely. Of course, relationships within families are different for everyone. But if you grow up in a normal, loving family, you can always count on support from your loved ones. They will console you and help you with advice, and if necessary, with action.

Economic support. Up to a certain point, a person cannot provide for himself independently, and throughout our childhood we are supported by our parents. This is done not only by people, but also by animals who take care of their offspring until they reach a certain age. What distinguishes people from animals is that this process is usually reciprocal. After you grow up and get on your feet, you begin to help your parents both financially, mentally and physically. As a person ages, he becomes more and more like a child who needs help with everything. It’s not for nothing that people say that he is old and that he is small. In this matter, a lot depends on upbringing.

The essence and meaning of family are children.

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Secrets of a strong family

If children could (more precisely, it was reasonable, it was humane) to be produced in incubator flasks, like chickens, the family would never have become a social institution, a special kind of institution under the protection of the state. Come and go, just like at a dance, as long as it only concerns you.

But as long as man remains human and human society remains human, for the reproduction of homo sapiens offspring in the image and likeness of their parents, both psychologically and socially, there is only one incubator flask - the family (today, of course, in organic unity with public educational institutions and education of the younger generation). Family in this sense is an enduring value of human society. For all other methods are inhumane, inhumane. Therefore, the family is not only a social group, like a team or company, but also a social institution, like educational and cultural institutions.

In the past, the concepts of “family” and “children” were inextricably linked, and such a connection seemed self-evident. Childlessness at all times and among all peoples of the world seemed to be the same serious misfortune as blindness, deafness, and dumbness. The couple made sacrifices to all imaginable gods, made vows, crawled on their knees for days to some “holy places,” begging for a child. And those around them looked at them with at least compassion, and even with contempt. Now these concepts have “diverged”: you can live as a family and not have children - this is your personal matter. Some people do just that. More than a quarter of American women under 30 do not want children, and many West German families are childless.

This self-orientation of young families literally leads to suicidal consequences for society. But this is for society. And for the individual, for the person himself, for you and me?

When I first heard that a child always and under all circumstances gives an adult more than the adult gives him, I couldn’t believe my ears, although I have quite ordinary children and grandchildren. Can't be! Is it the child who gives it? Is this a capricious, screaming creature that you have to put so much effort into caring for? Well, what can he give?

It turns out that there is a lot. Much more than they usually think: it helps a person become a Human, makes his life fuller, more fulfilling. All this is just words, and sometimes objections are heard. Previously, the child was a helper, from an early age he worked like an adult and quickly “paid for” the care he took in the first years of life. When he grew up and was married or given away in marriage, he became an ally, and an irreplaceable one, in various difficulties of life. And in old age it was a “living pension” - your only hope and support, if something happened to you: there were no other benefits. So we had as many children as we could, but now are they really our helpers? Arrange, arrange, arrange, buy, buy, buy endlessly, and then - bam: a grandson on your neck, and start all over again. Are they our allies? We have our own work, life, leisure; they have their own. Not intersecting. And now we have our own pension: the state pays it to us.

You listen and are amazed at how much nonsense is piled up here. Firstly, a child from an early age can and even should be your assistant. And how! Only, of course, not in the same forms as before. He can and should be an ally. Moreover, a friend, the most reliable and faithful friend. And the state pays pensions in the form of money - receipts for the purchase of goods and payment for services; Who will produce goods and provide services? Children who grew up in those families who took on the additional work of raising breadwinners for themselves and you. From this, by the way, stems in modern conditions the objective need for state, public care for all children as our future common breadwinners.

But the state - the state, this is a special subject of conversation. What about you and me? Isn’t there a difference between old age surrounded by the love and care of grown-up children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and old age alone, even if it’s just the two of you and everything is ready? These are two completely different old ages, regardless of the size of the pension and the level of household amenities.

True, there is also a third old age: when excessive selfishness or excessive love of children makes your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren strangers to you. But this is your own fault.

Social forecasts suggest that caring for children will become easier for parents in the future.

Our living conditions will improve even more, and more children will have their own separate rooms with appropriate furnishings - up to and including a home “mini-sports town”. The need, which is still quite acute in some places, for kindergartens will be fully satisfied, and the child will not have to be dragged across the whole city to a departmental kindergarten. The working week of a working mother with young children will be shortened, and more and more mothers (as well as fathers, grandparents) will devote an hour or two a week to coming to “their” kindergarten near home to help the teacher: play with the children, tell them a fairy tale , show them different work skills, judge their disputes, take a walk, etc. More and more families will begin to spend their holidays in special “family” holiday homes and sanatoriums. There will be more children's theaters and cinemas, and hobby clubs for family recreation. It's like that. But both then and now there was, is and will remain something more valuable in the communication of a child with an adult, equally important to both, and in some - in as many as three respects - even more important for an adult.

We have already had to say that one of the basic social needs of every person is self-affirmation, to be treated with respect, to be a Teacher in at least some way. This is not ambition. This is a normal need of a normal person, and if it is not satisfied or is not satisfied enough, the person’s psyche suffers as severely as if he were humiliated. A child with his own needs for knowledge, skills, and finally, simply under the patronage of an elder, seems to have been deliberately created to fully satisfy the adult’s need for self-affirmation.

Not everyone can be a student professor at a university. But everyone can - and for a full life it is even necessary - to become exactly the same essentially as a professor for the children in their family, for children in general. A child’s hundred thousand “whys” every day irritate another parent. And in the evening, in the usual table chatter, he tries in vain to attract the attention of others with sheer nonsense. Unhappy! If only he could understand what he brushes off like an annoying fly, and on what trifles he then tries to build his self-affirmation in front of people who are indifferent to him. If only he could understand that in one case he had a chance to act as a Teacher, and in another he looked like a vulgar buffoon.

To answer a child’s question means to force him/her to look at the world through your eyes, to become his guide in a world that is familiar to you, but for him, a completely new world. What could be more sublime and joyful? “If only youth knew, if only age could,” the old people complain. Well, there is an opportunity to help young people know more. Just don’t flatter yourself with the vain and stupid hope that your child will take your every word as a guide to action and that he will follow your every advice or instruction exactly. Think for yourself what would happen if boys and girls suddenly gained your worldly wisdom and became little old men. No, they themselves must go through their own path in life, including their own stupidities and mistakes. For it is human nature to make mistakes, and for us the most important thing is that nothing human is alien to the younger generation. Although a lot depends on us to ensure that the inevitable stupidity of young people is minimal, and the inevitable mistakes are correctable.

He will be different from you, your student, in many ways. Well, you are not the crown of creation. And if we consider you a point in the history of mankind, then, of course, not the last. But to a certain extent, he is your work, not only physically, but, most importantly, spiritually, intellectually, and morally. Not everyone is given the opportunity to live after death in books, paintings, and architectural structures. But everyone can continue his life in his pupils, even if he is not often remembered and not imitated in everything.

That's not all. There is another side to communicating with a child, no less miraculous for an adult.

The most life-loving, most greedy people for life manage to live, within the time allotted to them by fate, several lives, as it were, each of which is equal to an ordinary, mediocre one in terms of the richness of impressions, meetings, and creations. But this again is given to relatively few. And everyone can lend a hand to a child. And see the world through his, a child’s, eyes. And try at times to live his, the child’s, life parallel to your own. To some extent, repeating my childhood, and to some extent, entering a completely new life. Just don’t impose the familiar rules of the old on this new life. Nothing good will come of this. Just try to keep him company in his world, not yours. And it will be good for him, the child, and no worse for you.

In your “first” life, for example, you long ago forgot how to be surprised by anything. Just think, anything can happen! And in your “second”, childish one, you never cease to be joyfully surprised by discovery after discovery. In your “first” you are tired of impressions, you are no longer touched by the beauty of nature, the beauty of architecture, new cities, or old streets. And together with the child -. an avalanche of impressions, like many years ago. You alone, let’s say, will never go to the circus or the zoo.

In the first - because you are uncomfortable with the expectation of “lest someone fall” or “lest someone gets killed”, in the second - because you feel sorry for the animals in cages. But with a child it all looks completely different: amazing, exciting, festive.

And that is not all. There is a third, equally miraculous side.

To a child, the world seems not just new, but sometimes frightening, often incomprehensible. And yet the main thing (if not to spoil the impression) is that he seems joyful, pure, noble. And by joining the child’s world, you become familiar with his, the child’s, vision of the world, and receive your share of joy, sublimity, and optimism. Remember the famous scene from “War and Peace”, when Prince Andrei, being in the worst mood, accidentally heard Natasha’s voice at night, admiring the lunar landscape: “...Well, how can you sleep! Look what a beauty it is! Oh, how lovely! “Wake up, Sonya,” she said, almost with tears in her voice. “After all, such a lovely night has never, never happened.”

Sonya reluctantly answered something.

- No, look what a moon it is!.. Oh, how lovely! Come here. Darling, my dear, come here. Well, do you see? So I would squat down, like this, grab myself under the knees - tighter, as tight as possible, you have to strain - and fly. Like this!"

Let us recall that Prince Andrei, to whom such a vision of the world was, to put it mildly, alien, involuntarily listened to her conversation. “Suddenly such an unexpected confusion of young thoughts and hopes, contradicting his whole life, arose in his soul that he, feeling unable to understand his condition, immediately fell asleep.” And in the morning, after meeting the no less famous blossoming old oak tree, “... he was suddenly overcome by a causeless spring feeling of joy and renewal.”

“No, life is not over at thirty-one years old,” Prince Andrei suddenly finally, unchangeably decided. “Not only do I know everything that is in me, it is necessary for everyone to know it: both Pierre and this girl, who wanted to fly into the sky, it is necessary for everyone to know me, so that my life does not go on for me alone, so that they do not live like this girl, regardless of my life, so that it is reflected on everyone and so that they all live with me !”

This is what a child can give to an adult. Is this comparable to what an adult can give to a child, no matter what and how much he gives?

In an interview with the newspaper “Russian Word” (1908), L. N. Tolstoy again returned to the same question. “For now I will say,” he told the correspondent, “that only love for children and true communication with the child’s soul can create a happy humanity. That is why, of all the issues of life that concern people, the most important, global issue is raising children...”

We rightly admire children's word creation, which K. I. Chukovsky spoke about so vividly in his well-known book “From Two to Five.” But “new” words are only part of the amazing world that our own children open to us. In the ancient Greek theater, such a concept was born: “catharsis” (purification). This is when the audience empathizes so much with what is happening on stage that their state of mind is, as it were, “purified”, ennobled, elevated. A person is ready to perform feats, he wants to be better than he was “before.” Unlike classics, not every work of art can cause catharsis. A child, if not interfered with, is capable.

Thanks to him for this.

And let us envy with good envy those who were lucky enough to once again join the bright world of childhood.

I re-read what I had written, and a strange thought came to my mind: until now they have been calling to raise children properly, but here in some places there is something like a call to have children themselves. Is such a “call” necessary? Isn't it enough to rely on the parental instincts of motherhood and fatherhood, which have never failed humanity even in the most difficult times?

There is really no point in “encouraging” anyone to have children. But in our opinion, it is necessary to explain what exactly is hidden behind the phrase “excessive decline in the birth rate” both for the individual and for society as a whole. Explain that society cannot exist if in each generation two parents are replaced by one and more and more families begin to refuse to have children at all. Explain that a person robs himself by voluntarily denying himself the happiness of having children. Instincts are instincts, and the temptation to “skip through” life without burdening yourself with children increases. Therefore, reason must be called to help the instincts.

Of course, without children there are fewer problems. But life must have meaning. This meaning cannot be work for the sake of work. This meaning can only be work, as the first vital need, in the name of the comprehensive development of the individual. And such development is unthinkable if one of the most important aspects falls out of it - communication with children, who give adults more than those who give them, who help the full formation and development of personality, who make the life of an adult full.

Children are the essence and meaning of the family. Because they are our future. Because they are your future. And tomorrow, and after many years.

I. BESTUZHEV-LADA

Family and parents

Family is the most important thing in life. You may have good days, you may have bad days, but in the evening of every day someone will be waiting for you at home.

If we talk about what the family gives to parents, then the question arises of why people have children. What a family gives a person is clear. Family is a safe haven where they will understand you, help you and listen to you. This is why most people get married and start families. But why have children? If we do not take into account the fact that reproduction is a natural process that is characteristic of all living beings and is the basis for the development and existence of the species, then we can say that the birth of children serves several purposes:

it is a symbol of the love of two lovers who see its embodiment in children;
this is a way to unite the family and try themselves in a new role;
Children, no matter how selfish and selfish it may sound, often serve to embody the ideas, desires and aspirations of their parents, which they themselves were unable to realize.

The role of family in society

Any social doctrine that attempts to destroy the family is worthless and, moreover, inapplicable. The family is the crystal of society. Hugo V.
Family interests almost always destroy public interests. Bacon Francis

The family is the oldest and most durable institution of family relationships, which has existed for many centuries. What the family gives to society:

In families, knowledge and traditions accumulated by previous generations are passed on. When there was no written language and all knowledge was passed on, as they say, by word of mouth, only parents were able to pass on to their children the knowledge that they acquired from their own experience. They, in turn, preserved and increased this knowledge, passing it on to their children. This is how progress moved.
Children who grow up in healthy families are more emotionally stable and balanced, they have a very good basis for further development.

Family happiness

The secret of family happiness: a woman should make it pleasant for a man to come home, and a man should make it pleasant for a woman to meet him.

To create a solid foundation in the family, you need to work on yourself and develop the necessary qualities. They will help you survive both the ups and downs together. Be responsible for your happiness and remember that it is common to you. There are no “I”s in the family, there are only “we” . This way you will create a strong and happy family.

Family is like a boat in which everyone floats together

And for a child, the family is, first of all, the environment in which the conditions for his mental, physical, intellectual and emotional development are laid. For this development to take place, you must pay attention to raising the child and conduct various activities with him.