How to deal with children's hysteria: advice from a psychologist

Phobias in children and adolescents – pathological, excessively expressed reactions of fear that arise in anticipation or during direct exposure to a certain object or situation. They manifest themselves as increased anxiety, emotional stress, autonomic reactions (sleep disturbances, appetite disturbances, increased heart rate), and avoidant behavior. Diagnosis is carried out by conversation, clinical interview, and self-reports.

The basis of treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy, a method of systematic desensitization; in case of severe symptoms, antidepressants and tranquilizers are prescribed.

Causes

The causes of stress in a child may vary depending on age. Babies under one year old get stress when parting with their mother, changing the method of feeding, illness and fear.

The following are the causes of stressful situations in infants and adolescents:

• Inattention from parents. Ignoring the child's needs, rejection, and lack of love gives rise to severe stress in the child.
• Constant reproaches, especially in front of people. Such educational measures create a feeling of inferiority in children, which continues into adulthood.
• Feeling of fear due to external and internal factors. External: attack by a bandit or an angry dog, watching a scary movie or reading a horror book. Internal: strong fantasy, negative atmosphere in the family, parents exert strong psychological pressure on children.
• Change of scenery. Saying goodbye to relatives, close friends, moving to a new city, moving to another school, first love. All these events cause stress.
• Computer games. Children perceive games much more realistically than adults. Losing, quarrels with adults over playing games until late, lack of sleep, all this provokes stress.

Problem: overloaded schedule, child gets tired and cannot cope with the load

Teachers complain that your child sleeps in class. At home, he refuses not only to help around the house, but also to play, because he is too tired and wants to rest. Or maybe he doesn’t have time to play at all, because after school he not only needs to do his homework, but also go to a horse riding lesson, and then work with a Spanish teacher... What to do: Reduce your parental ambitions - almost always when the child finds himself on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to overwork; it turns out that, in addition to school, he attends several different clubs and sports sections. Taking care of the comprehensive development of a child is good and correct, but only as long as his physical and psychological health does not suffer. Try giving up piano lessons, at least temporarily, and not taking your son or daughter to a private chess teacher three times a week. Observe your child: has he become more cheerful, cheerful, active? If not, he may need more time to recover. It would also be a good idea to check whether fatigue and nervous exhaustion are caused by a lack of vitamins in the body. If, in addition to school, your child has no additional loads, and teachers still complain about his inattention, you may need to check your child for attention deficit disorder. With ADHD (as the syndrome is called for short), due to neurological characteristics, the child has difficulty concentrating on something and cannot maintain attention for a long time, which affects his performance at school. Children with this syndrome need special help in learning information.

Criteria for identifying an anxious child:

Child:

• experiences constant anxiety;
• has difficulty (sometimes impossibility) in concentrating;
• experiences muscle tension (for example, in the neck, face);
• irritable;
• has a sleep disorder;

If at least one of the criteria appears constantly, we can assume that this is an anxious child.

What parents of an anxious child should not do:

• compare the child with others;
• organize competitions in something;
• make excessive demands on the child’s learning and behavior;
• make frequent comments;
• humiliate by punishing a child.

Accept children as they are

And also yourself and other people. Respect personality, goals, abilities, needs; don't judge. Every person is unique. Trying to change someone is undignified; in fact, it tells them that they are not good enough. This is where self-doubt comes from. Is your child clumsy? Well, let. Over time, the situation will either improve, or he will succeed in something else (or not), but will still remain a unique person. Does he have no ear for music? So what? Everything else is fine. It’s unnecessary to spoil yourself and your baby’s nerves over such a trifle.

Stages of development of stress in a child

Stress that arises in a child can be divided into several stages. Each stage is characterized by an increasingly depressed emotional state. Prolonged stress turns into depression.

• Anxiety

At the anxiety stage, the child feels inexplicable melancholy and restlessness. The child does not tell anyone about the stress he has experienced. The child withdraws into himself and is suspicious of relatives. A special distrust of unfamiliar people appears. There are no changes in the physical condition of the child.

• Resistance

The child’s psyche actively resists the stress experienced. Tries to repress memories of a bad event. The reaction to stress is accompanied by a constant feeling of fatigue and moral exhaustion. The nervous system spends too much energy on internal experiences.

• Exhaustion

The baby is mentally and physically exhausted and no longer has the strength to endure stress. The nervous system does not control emotions, which causes apathy or excessive aggression. Children are unable to sleep at night because they are tormented by nightmares during their sleep. Increased secrecy develops. Due to constant depression, a desire for suicide may develop.

Ways to restore the psyche

If we do not take into account mentally ill people, then everyone can restore a normal state of mind, as well as increase its stability. Of course, the recovery process depends on how much the nerves have been shaken. In situations where you cannot achieve the desired effect on your own, you should seek help from a specialist, for example, a psychologist or psychotherapist. In some difficult cases, you will need to undergo a course of drug treatment.

Firstly, in order to improve the condition of the nervous system, the cause that led to the occurrence of stress should be eliminated. If there is no way to neutralize it, then you need to try to change your attitude towards the irritating factor. Remember the expression: “If you can’t change a situation, change your attitude towards it.” It works 100% in this case. Another question is that not everyone is able to independently change their inner mood at will. But you can learn self-control. This will require a little effort and desire: read special psychological literature, attend personal growth training, or take training in meditative techniques.

Secondly, “frayed nerves” are often the result of overwork. In this case, a vacation or even a few days off can work wonders. Long rest and proper sleep are the key to not only physical, but also mental health. Remember that relaxation doesn't have to mean lazing around (although sometimes you can indulge in a little lounging on the couch). It’s best to change your surroundings, get out into nature, make your deepest desires come true, or devote time to your favorite hobby. Any activity that brings pleasure and lifts your spirit is suitable.

Thirdly, stick to a healthy lifestyle. Bad habits and an unbalanced diet aggravate the condition of the nervous system. If the body constantly does not receive the necessary vitamins and minerals, suffers from nicotine and physical inactivity, then it is very difficult for it to deal with stress. Try replacing coffee with chicory, drink tea with mint, forget about fatty and sweet foods at night, start exercising! Very soon you will notice that you wake up easily in the morning, are cheerful and full of energy all day, and yesterday’s problems have become not so impossible.

Phobic attacks in children

If children have phobias and stress, it is important to understand and recognize the characteristics of the attack in time. It is necessary to consult a doctor if parents notice the following symptoms:

• Refusal to go to school, even to the point of hysterics and somatic manifestations in the form of diseases
• Refusal to appear in public places
• Nightmares or poor, restless, interrupted sleep
• Overreaction to sudden sounds
• Avoidance of any objects, objects or situations
• Refusal to eat

As a rule, phobias and stress in children have such attack characteristics that can greatly influence the child’s daily life and radically change his usual daily routine. If this happens and the child consciously avoids something, be it an insect or flying on an airplane, it is highly likely that the child has phobias.

Diseases

Doctors say that it is impossible to name a single childhood disease without physiological characteristics and changes in the functioning of the heart or central nervous system. This statement especially applies to children under 5 years of age, and the younger the child, the more peculiar the manifestation of reactions from the blood vessels and the central nervous system.

Such reactions include respiratory and circulatory disorders, amyia of the facial muscles, itching of the skin, shaking of the chin, and other physiological symptoms indicating damage to brain tissue. There are a variety of diseases of the central nervous system, and each has its own symptoms. Accordingly, they also need to be treated differently for its immaturity. And remember: you should never self-medicate!

• Poliomyelitis is caused by a filter virus that enters the body orally. Sources of contamination include wastewater and food, including milk. Antibiotics cannot be used to treat polio; they have no effect on it. This disease is characterized by elevated body temperature, various signs of intoxication and various vegetative disorders - itching, dermographism of the skin and increased sweating. First of all, this virus negatively affects blood circulation and breathing.
• Meningococcal meningitis, caused by meningococcus, usually occurs in children under 1 to 2 years of age. The virus is unstable and therefore usually dies quite quickly in the external environment under the influence of various factors. The pathogen enters the body through the nasopharynx and spreads extremely quickly to the entire body. With the onset of the disease, a sharp jump in temperature occurs, hemorrhagic rashes appear, causing itching of the skin, which cannot be soothed.
• Purulent secondary meningitis - occurs most often in children under 5 years of age. This disease develops rapidly after purulent otitis media, with a sharp rise in the patient’s body temperature, anxiety in children, headache, and possible itching. It is dangerous due to the possibility of the virus penetrating the membranes of the brain.
• Acute serous lymphocytic meningitis is characterized by the immediate development of its symptoms. Body temperature literally rises in minutes to 39-40 degrees. The patient feels a severe headache, which cannot be calmed even with pills, vomiting and a short-term loss of consciousness of the child occur. But the disease does not affect the internal organs.
• Acute encephalitis - appears in a child if a corresponding infection develops. The virus has a negative effect on the walls of blood vessels, causing disturbances in the functioning of the heart and other physiological disorders. The disease is quite severe. At the same time, the patient’s body temperature rises, loss of consciousness occurs, vomiting, skin itching, as well as convulsions, delirium and other mental symptoms appear.

Any suspicion of any of the diseases described above is a reason to urgently call a doctor, after reassuring the child.

Stress in a child from visiting the hospital

After visiting the hospital, children become irritable, withdrawn, and whiny. Appetite may be lost and sleep may be disrupted. The reason for this behavior is the child’s stress from visiting the hospital. He feels betrayed by his parents, who allow him to be hurt in their presence.

To get the child out of stress in this case, you need to provide him with a calm, familiar home environment as soon as possible, pay more attention to the baby, and captivate him with his favorite games and creativity. You should follow your usual daily routine. It is necessary for the child to feel the care and love of adults for him. All these actions will help the child recover from stress as quickly as possible.

Regular physical activity, a thoughtful daily routine, a nutritious healthy diet, and good sleep are excellent prevention of stress in children and increase the possibility of easy and quick adaptation.

Tick ​​with fright

Let's say your perfectly healthy, calm child was frightened by a strange dog that rushed at him in the yard, or by a strict teacher who scolded him in front of the whole class, and now his eye twitches, or a cheek muscle, or he makes such movements with his neck as if freed from a tight collar. This is a neurotic tic. Despite the scary name, neurotic tics are a simple option. It arises from external trauma - fear, stress, tension - and is treated by a doctor in a couple of weeks, or at most in a couple of months. After treatment it disappears without a trace.

What is required from parents in this case?

● Take the child to the doctor. ● Create a calm environment at home. ● Do not burden the unfortunate person with intensive classes in mathematics, foreign languages, computer science... ● If the tics are caused by school conflicts, talk to the teacher so that he is not too strict. But obsessive states of this type are not very common, they make up only 10% of all tics.

A variety of childhood fears

The types of fears in young children determine their manifestation. In total, there are 3 types of characteristics of children's fears:

• obsessive;
• delusional;
• super valuable.

The child experiences fears regardless of the objectivity of their reasons. Obsessive fears arise in certain circumstances: they cause a severe panic attack in a child. These include fear of heights or confined spaces.

Delusional fears arise only against the background of mental disorders. Such phobias are characterized by a fixation on one object or event: fear of opening an umbrella or watching TV. The expression of a phobia is not directly related to its cause.

Initially, fear is tied to a specific situation. Over time, fear is strengthened by the imagination of the baby, to whom the threat seems a hundred times greater than it actually is.

Consequences of stress in children and adolescents

The mechanisms of adaptation to stress in children and adolescents are imperfect. Subjective perception of stress in combination with individual (genetic, biological, psychological) differences in behavior can lead to the development of negative psychological, somatic and behavioral consequences of stress.

• Somatic consequences of stress . With prolonged or repeated stress, chronic somatic diseases develop or worsen. The prevalence of psychosomatic disorders in children and adolescents ranges from 10 to 25%.
• Mental disorders . Anxiety and depression are the most common consequences of both extreme and prolonged chronic stress. Healthy children can also experience anxiety during periods of stress. However, chronic or extreme stress contributes to the formation of pathological anxiety, which always leads to suppression (exhaustion), rather than enhancement of the body's adaptive capabilities.
• In children and adolescents, anxiety disorders present a wide range of clinical manifestations.

How can parents harm their children's self-esteem?

One of the most important factors involved in developing a child's self-esteem is family communication habits. Words have incredible power. Unfortunately, in most families it is customary to use a lot of inappropriate expressions and call children and other family members hurtful names.

A seemingly innocent habit can have long-term consequences. Hurtful treatment unconsciously causes mental degradation, harms a person, injures him. It is important to think more about how to express yourself, especially in front of children, to use clear sentences so that the words spoken are understood and provide the opportunity for reasonable feedback.

If a child breaks or breaks something, you should not blame him, calling him inappropriate words. It’s better to discuss with him what happened, what he did wrong, what needs to be done differently next time.

Our life is structured in such a way that every new day brings new challenges. Sometimes they are pleasant and exciting, and sometimes they are difficult and exhausting. How we react to the current negative situation directly depends on the characteristics of our character, type of temperament, level of education and upbringing. But the main role in this process is played by the general state of the nervous system and psyche.

Parental behavior

The development of stress coping skills depends on parents. You can help children in the following ways:

1. Parents need to set an example for their children, monitor their behavior, control anger and aggression.
2. Always ask how the day was and what interesting things happened at school.
3. Spend time together.
4. Stress in a child can arise from poor nutrition; control the diet.
5. Parents need to show more care for their children, show them their love, hug and often have heart-to-heart conversations. Do everything to make them feel needed.
6. Allow your child to be independent so that he feels that you trust him.
7. Approve his decisions.
8. Remove additional loads, let him attend only the section that he chooses.

Actions to eliminate stress:

1. Find out about your child's experiences and feelings.
2. Create an atmosphere of openness and trust, and reassure him that every experience is a positive one.
3. Appreciate your child in all actions and situations.
4. Show openly your care, love and warmth. Hug your child as often as possible.
5. Distinguish between actions that you can do and those that you shouldn’t, but don’t be overly strict.
6. Emphasize that it is more important to cooperate rather than compete.
7. Find activities in which your child can help the family.
8. Consider his desires, and not just your needs and capabilities.

Peculiarities of the psyche of a child 5-7 years old

A child who has reached preschool age is a person with a bright temperament. Children aged 5 years are very inquisitive and active. They want to communicate, which is why they begin to ask a lot of questions to which they definitely need answers. At this age, parents need to provide their child with a normal environment for development:

1. They should allow him to communicate with peers as much as the child wants. You shouldn’t force him to do it if he doesn’t want to, but you shouldn’t limit him either. The baby definitely needs to learn how to behave in a children's group. Communication with his peers in kindergarten helps him with this. If you want your baby to quickly adapt to school, then you definitely need to send him to kindergarten.
2. In addition, during this period of their child’s development, parents should pay attention to what he has aptitudes for, what talents he has. A child needs to go to various developmental classes in order to grow up as an emotionally satisfied person.

In preschool age, a child requires increased attention from parents. If he experiences a lack of communication with them, he will develop an unhealthy spirit of competition. He will begin to attract attention to himself in any way. You must show love towards your baby in every possible way if you want him to grow up to be a merciful, kind and sympathetic person.

How to help your child overcome fear?

How to cure fears? Correction work occurs in several stages:

• Stage I - the child’s parents or teachers contact the psychologist with a request for a diagnosis;
• Stage II - using special techniques, the psychologist works with the child and his parents;
• Stage III - consideration of the results and their discussion with parents. The correction methods that will be used to work with the child are determined;
• Stage IV - carrying out corrective work;
• Stage V - discussion of the results that the therapy gave. Repeated diagnostics may be prescribed.

Prevention

Trusting, friendly relationships between parents and children contribute to the establishment of a comfortable psychological climate within the family. Support for a child from parents in difficult, stressful situations helps him to more safely experience his fears and worries.

Following the instructions of the attending physician helps prevent the child’s phobia from worsening. Timely seeking help from a doctor makes it possible to gently and effectively get rid of childhood fears.

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How to strengthen the nervous system and psyche of a child?

If there are any problems with the child’s psyche, then you must, first of all, exclude all factors that may negatively affect the child’s psycho-emotional health. Psychologists advise modern parents to adhere to the following recommendations:

• Do not solve any problems in the presence of the child - no matter what they concern.
• Don't talk loudly or be aggressive towards anyone. Even if your cat or dog shits at home, do not scream, but behave calmly and balanced.
• Show your child by personal example what his daily routine and diet should be. Eat the same things that you give him, sleep with him in the same mode, walk, exercise, lead an active lifestyle, but not alone, but together with your child.
• Give him traditional soothing decoctions - valerian, mint, motherwort. Do not use sedatives, because apart from addiction, they will not bring anything good to your child.

Surround your child with love, care and attention. Talk to him, act as if he is already an adult with whom you can communicate as an equal. Thanks to our advice, you will be able to raise a full-fledged and cheerful person who will do good throughout life and give joy to other people.