Why do women really become cynical?

What is cynicism

Cynicism is a human behavior that manifests itself in a negative, dismissive and even contemptuous attitude towards generally accepted moral, ethical, religious and cultural norms and values ​​of other people. A cynic tends to judge a person based on his life experience, so such things as compassion, empathy, pity and shame seem fictitious to him. He does not see any use in them for selfish purposes.

In simple terms, cynicism is a view of life that denies the feelings and motivations caused by love, selflessness and sacrifice. People who hold such views consider it a fictional and socially approved reason to achieve their goals and gain benefits.

Cynics believe that all people are materialistic and want self-affirmation, so they subject all the emotions and feelings of others to analysis from a practical point of view. If it is not possible to draw a critical conclusion, then the person simply ridicules views and values ​​that he does not understand.


General information and classification

The word cynic comes from “cynicus”, which means “cynic” in Latin. It is not surprising that the word cynic is considered as a synonym for cynic. This also includes a shameless person, a disgrace, an insolent person. There was a direction in philosophy that was represented by cynics - people who wanted to get rid of conventions and distance themselves from family, society, and the state. Illiteracy and bad behavior were seen as a good thing.

Cynicism is a deliberate disregard for ethics and moral values. It expresses inner rebellion. Cynicism can arise when a person feels impunity, he has nothing more to lose.

A cynic is a person who opposes the moral norms accepted in society. It is often associated with irony, tactlessness, a sense of permissiveness and rude behavior. Looking at a cynical person, one gets the impression that such concepts as kindness, sympathy, pity and modesty are unusual for him. But it is worth considering the fact that some individuals hide their hypersensitivity under cynicism, because they consider it their weak side.

If cynicism is moderate, then it is considered as a manifestation of intelligence. One may get the impression that a cynic is confident in himself and will never allow himself to be deceived. Cynical men are of interest to girls because they know how to joke ironically, such individuals are interesting interlocutors. But with prolonged communication, it becomes clear that the young man devalues ​​those things that are significant to others, that he is not capable of deep feelings. Love and normal communication with a cynic is possible for a person who has a cynical character. But it’s better for vulnerable people not to start a relationship with a cynical person. Unless cynicism is a mask that allows you to hide your sensitivity.

Cynicism may manifest itself differently in different people. These types are distinguished.

  1. Healthy cynic. Such a person will not participate in the lottery and will be indifferent to letters of an obviously fraudulent nature. From one point of view, these are good traits, such a person is reasonable, but from the other, an indifferent attitude.
  2. A malicious pest. Any cynic who does not have the opportunity to stop in time will definitely fall into a similar state. He will be indifferent to the failure of others and will ignore losers. These cynics are absolutely miserable people.
  3. Anti lyricist. Such a person hates kisses when meeting, giving flowers, valentines. But this does not mean that he is completely devoid of feelings; in fact, this individual believes that such actions are not a manifestation of true romance. Such a person is a maximalist, he hates deception and often goes to extremes. The cynicism of a given person is a way of resisting obsessive opinions and banality. There is a risk that the anti-lyricist will begin to withdraw into himself or begin to commit evil towards other people. When you want a lot, but you get little, you become angry at people.
  4. Black comedian. Despite the fact that this type is the most harmless, it can greatly offend a sensitive person. Despite the “dark” jokes, such a cynic has a sense of compassion. They see black humor as just jokes. He can separate reality and the fantasy world. The negative aspects of this type are that people may perceive such a person as evil. An individual must feel the boundaries of what is permitted, and not be annoying, imposing his jokes on other people. If dark humor is not appreciated in a certain circle, there is no need to continue making such jokes or get upset that people do not understand such jokes.
  5. Materialist without imagination. Such a cynic has a strong mind that crowds out his feelings. At times this works to his advantage. This individual will not suffer from unrequited love. If he realizes that someone does not like him, he will simply switch his attention to other people. If any problem arises, he will not suffer, he will simply change the situation. In fact, such a person is deprived of many things in life. For example, while at a movie theater, a person will not evaluate the picture in general; he will observe how well the actors play. Such individuals do not believe in selflessness; they are incapable of empathy. There is a risk that life will remain exclusively business relationships.

There is also another type of classification.

  1. Legal. Cynicism is aimed at laws, legal norms, and the unwillingness to live in accordance with them.
  2. Public. This cynicism is observed among a group of people who want to have a happy society, from individuals who are comfortable coexisting. At the same time, the moral norms that are characteristic of a given society are not taken into account.
  3. Social cynicism. It appears in the middle of a single community of people.
  4. Economic. Characterized by dissatisfaction with the economic system existing in the country, the functioning of economic laws at the time of development of society.

Signs of cynicism

It is best to understand what cynicism is, its signs will help. Let's look at its most common manifestations.

Specific behavior

A cynic speaks rudely, talks categorically about things and actions, dividing the world into “black and white,” does not take into account other people’s opinions and is dismissive of others.

Disregard for spiritual, moral and ethical values

He does not feel aesthetic pleasure from culture and adherence to morality, does not understand what others find in this, he respects only what can bring real, measurable benefit.

Absence of many experiences and reactions characteristic of most people

A cynic does not feel sympathy for others, does not regret the mistakes he has made, is not tormented by remorse and, in general, does not understand why burden himself with unnecessary negativity and scroll through unpleasant thoughts in his head many times.

Reasons for cynical behavior

According to some psychologists, one of the reasons for cynical behavior is the negative influence of social institutions. Problems arise when a cynical girl or guy, without sufficient knowledge and life experience, tries to build their own system of moral values. In this case, the behavior of adolescents is of a pronounced asocial, often antisocial nature.

Initial signs are presented in the form of negativism - refusal to carry out the instructions and instructions of adults, including parents and teachers. Subsequently, negativism transforms into cynicism if there are prerequisites for such a transformation, for example, an unfavorable psychological microclimate in the family or at school, misunderstanding, or indifference on the part of adults.

Cynicism develops as a teenager’s defensive reaction to negative external influences - cruelty from others, the influence of tragic, traumatic events. People become cynical because their parents used incorrect methods of education, resorted to such methods as harsh treatment, humiliation, insult, moralizing, which is why children develop a reaction of disobedience, rejection of values ​​​​approved by adults.

Other reasons: excessive attention and care from parents, the influence of the media, examples of behavior from friends, authoritative members of the company, the desire to confront the whole world. American writer G. Kemelman, author of a series of detective novels about Rabbi D. Small, who manages to solve complicated crimes faster than professional detectives, called cynicism disillusioned idealism.

Many psychologists are inclined to believe that behind the mask of cynicism there is often hidden increased sensitivity, emotionality, and receptivity. Such people are vulnerable to negative external influences - ridicule, humiliation, psychological pressure, which forces them to resort to irony and sarcasm as a means of defense against attacks.

The objectivity of such mechanisms for the formation of a cynical worldview is confirmed by the results of a study that was conducted among a group of job seekers. The behavior of 85% of applicants was deliberately cynical - they behaved impudently, coolly, dispassionately, and emotionally restrained.

Psychologists noted that the reason for this behavior lies in the fear of failing at an interview. By resorting to cynicism, applicants for a vacant position sought to hide their disappointment and worries about a possible refusal, they did not want to show others their weakness and their true emotions - bitterness, resentment, hurt pride.

Reasons for cynicism

From a psychological point of view, healthy cynicism is a protective mechanism of the psyche against excessive and severe stress. People whose professions are associated with frequent emotional burnout one way or another become cynics in the professional sphere.

This type of cynicism even has its own name: “cold cynicism,” which means the recognition of habitual ethical standards as unnecessary. This helps people do their work efficiently and with a cool head, and not be distracted by various emotions: pity, compassion, disgust, fear, etc.

But cynicism may have other, less productive reasons for its occurrence. For example, great shocks, from which the psyche is protected by the mechanism of denial. They turn into the denial of all other values.

Reasons for cynicism include:

  • deep disappointment in a loved one due to loss, betrayal, etc.;
  • appropriate parenting model (rude or unemotional parents);
  • conflict within the individual, loss of ideals and faith in justice, destruction of illusions and hopes;
  • uncertainty about the future, feeling of insecurity, lack of support;
  • high self-esteem, pride and selfishness, condescension towards others;
  • rejection of generally accepted values ​​in pursuit of individuality and originality.

Sources of cynicism

Each of us is born without the slightest bit of cynicism. Even in early childhood, a child, for the first time faced with the injustice of this world, hides his mental pain behind external indifference. If he is not helped to overcome such a situation, then in the future he will gradually get used to such a reaction and may become a cynic.

The manifestation of cynicism is characteristic of adolescents during puberty. Against the background of hormonal changes in the body, they try to protect themselves from the outside world, to protect themselves from it. Over time, cynicism as an age-related reaction of adolescents goes away, but for some it remains forever. Already in his youth, a person, having experienced unrequited love, can assure others that true love does not exist, that people do not remain faithful to each other throughout their lives, thus showing cynicism, the origins of which lie in the inability to calmly endure a loss. Cynicism is inherent in people of certain professions, who without its manifestation could not work fruitfully. This includes lawyers, doctors, and various consultants. Example: if doctors worried about every patient, took on his fears and pains, they would quickly become emotionally exhausted and would not be able to perform their functions efficiently to save people’s lives and health. Some people, under the guise of cynicism, hide from remorse, guilt or other negative emotions and strong experiences.

So, the sources of cynicism are:

  • Parental attitudes that are established in early childhood. If the model of parental behavior is based on cynicism, then in the future it will be adopted by the children;
  • Systematic violation of human rights, which leads to the formation of confidence in one’s powerless position in society and in the fact that all norms, laws and regulations are exclusively legal in nature;
  • Unfair attitude - a person fights for his rights, but having failed to achieve justice, very often begins to show signs of cynicism in order to somehow protect himself.

The standard state of a cynic is characterized by internal emptiness, confusion and anxious thoughts. He knows that there is a lot of wrong and injustice in the world, but he does not have the courage to show his leadership abilities and show his best side.

How to Deal with a Cynic

Dealing with a cynic is not an easy task. It is especially difficult for people who are sensitive to manifestations of cynicism: jokes “below the belt” and a disdainful attitude towards themselves. In this case, it is better to reduce communication with cynical acquaintances and colleagues to a minimum.

But sometimes you have to interact against your will; in this case, there are some useful tips:

  1. Don't convince the cynic. Such people often have inflated self-esteem, so they consider themselves very smart and right in everything.
  2. Don't argue with them. A cynic loves to engage in demagoguery, so he will turn any argument in his direction, even if his arguments no longer relate to the topic. Make sure the conversation is specific and concise.
  3. Avoid conflict. Don't let a cynic drag you into controversial situations. You will not achieve justice, and your opponent will once again be convinced of his superiority.
  4. Enter his zone of trust. This advice will be effective if the cynic is a close and important person to you. Try to talk in such a way that the cynic speaks out and explains why he treats others and life in general this way. If you can figure this out, then further communication can become better and friendlier.
  5. Don't try to correct a cynic. Even if a person has opened his soul to you, this does not mean that he is ready to listen and accept other people’s advice. Forcibly “doing good” will only worsen the relationship between you.

Who are the cynics?

These are people who are characterized by cynicism.

Signs of a cynic:

  • Denial of all shame, for such a person nothing is sacred, nothing is alien to him, in order to achieve his goals he is ready to do anything, even go over the heads of other people;
  • The belief that everything can be bought and sold, that nothing exists of true value, that everything that is lost can be easily returned or replaced with something else;
  • Perception of the surrounding world through the prism of commodity-money relations;
  • Disappointment in people, communicating with them only for the sake of calculation;
  • Denial of everything high and beautiful, the belief that only physical love exists;
  • Using empathy to show yourself in a better light to unhappy people;
  • Showing irony and making fun of others;
  • Ridicule of what is valuable and of great importance to others;
  • Rudeness in statements;
  • Hostile attitude towards the opinions of others, recognizing only one’s own point of view as true;
  • Rejection of authorities.

In the modern world, the fashion for cynicism is growing every day. People try to pretend they are not who they really are, which leads to the development of intrapersonal conflicts, which are very difficult to get rid of without the help of specialists.

Cynics try to give the impression of smart, advanced, knowledgeable people. They very often become objects of attention among acquaintances and friends. Cynical people present themselves as hardened realists, thanks to which they can perceive the world around them impartially and objectively. A cynical worldview is very often a sign of a person’s unconscious struggle with his internal contradictions.

Advantages and disadvantages of cynicism

It would seem that cynicism is a rather negative model of behavior that interferes not only with others, but also with its owner. Nevertheless, this phenomenon also has positive features. Let's look at both sides and the meaning of cynicism in more detail.

Advantages

  1. Cynicism gives a person determination and courage.
  2. Helps to take a rational approach to decisions and actions.
  3. Makes people honest and open, because... cynicism is the opposite of hypocrisy.
  4. Do not allow yourself to be entertained by false hopes or experiences – both negative and positive.
  5. Relieves unnecessary stress during mental stress and difficult situations.
  6. Allows you not to worry and not depend on other people's opinions.

Cynicism: pros and cons

People are used to idealizing everything. There are many dogmas and moral principles that we are all accustomed to consider normal. We think “A woman should...” and “A man should...” and further ascribe those responsibilities that we are accustomed to consider the norm. The cynic looks at these behavior patterns with sarcasm, and believes that no one owes anyone anything.

Cynicism allows you not to idealize people and relationships, but to perceive everything exactly as it is. For example, if a person at work is asked to stay late and do something, then the boss will veil his request in such a way that there will be a clear sense of responsibility placed on the shoulders of the subordinate. For extracurricular hours, a small bonus may be issued, or a simple “Thank you” may be said, nothing more. A cynic will perceive this request as “Work for the boss’s wallet in your free time, so that you can feel like a responsible person and a good employee.”

And it turns out that a cynic will not sacrifice his interests for the sake of other people. Of course, there is a fine line between cynicism and selfishness here, but cynics still think less about themselves, and more about not allowing others to take advantage of them.

In family relationships, cynics will not tolerate an ultimatum and will not fall for female tricks or manipulations. A healthy view of everything that surrounds them is always a priority for cynics. Therefore, it would be nice for all people to be a little cynical sometimes, which would save us from many troubles and failures in our personal lives and work relationships.

Examples of cynicism

In simple words, cynicism is a demonstrative manifestation of one’s negative attitude towards other people, their views and values.

In literature, heroes with this character trait are often vividly described. Let's look at a few examples of cynicism.

From an early age, everyone knows a true cynic - Carlson. Throughout the story, he is cynical and selfish towards the Kid, who, in turn, sincerely became attached to the hero in the prime of his life.

Another bright literary cynic hero is Evgeny Bazarov, a real nihilist from I. S. Turgenev’s novel “Fathers and Sons.” Because of his loneliness and sense of loss, he was a cynic in his feelings and thoughts, as well as in his statements and manners. From the outside, he seemed like a rather interesting person, but his cynicism, pride, arrogance and disdain for the people around him sometimes turned into outright stupidity.

Almost the same can be said about another famous hero of literature and cinema - Ostap Bender. His excessive cynicism served to obtain outright personal gain. He often played into Ostap's hands: he endowed him with insight, intuition, intelligence and composure. But if he had been able to awaken at least some vital values ​​in himself and used them also skillfully, coupled with cynicism, he would have secured an excellent career for himself, and not petty scams and frauds.

Types of cynicism

In psychology, there is a classification into two main categories. They are associated with the areas of activity in which a person spends most of his time: work and everyday life.

  1. Everyday
    cynicism manifests itself in everyday life. Subject to its effects, people show immorality and disregard for norms of behavior within the family circle and in public places. This can be ridicule and ridicule of the shortcomings of your family and friends. They can also violate established family rules and traditions in an ostentatious manner. Representatives of the opposite sex may be subjected to special attacks against feelings and inner experiences.
  2. Professional
    cynicism is associated with work neuro-emotional overload. Examples include employees of medical services, direct sales departments, and law enforcement agencies. Professional cynicism here acts as a defense mechanism of the psyche. He preserves his nerves by neglecting moral standards in specific extreme situations. Although in ordinary life a person may not be a cynic.

How to raise a cynic?

Only an adult with a fully formed worldview can be considered a true cynic. Children and adolescents sometimes exhibit this quality, but it is more adaptive in nature than characterizes their personality. The main question is “is it even worth raising a person to be a cynic?”, because this quality significantly complicates his socialization.

Of course, naivety and gullibility are bad allies , but eternal skepticism and anticipation of a catch also complicate life. If a child behaves like a cynic, it is advisable to re-educate him. Show examples of sincere feelings and explain the meaning of following the rules. In the end, man is a social being, therefore one cannot completely fall outside its framework. Of course, you need to have your own head, but this does not at all mean disregard for the feelings and values ​​of others.

A cynic is a person who simultaneously evokes antipathy and pity. Of course, he behaves immorally, sometimes even boorishly. But the reasons for this behavior, as a rule, are hidden in deep psychological trauma. If they are not corrected in time, such people risk being lonely, and before that they will have time to morally wound those around them.

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Cynics from childhood

What could be cuter than a young child? But it was not there. When the whole family celebrated their third anniversary, dramatic changes in the personality of their child begin.

The child falls into negativism: he doesn’t like everything, throws tantrums, and begins to make trouble for any reason. Also tries to boss his mom and dad around. For example, when a girl gets her pigtails tied, she rips the rubber bands onto the floor and stomps on them, showing her “fi.”

Thus, he asserts himself in this new and incomprehensible world. Contrastes himself with relatives and everything that happens around him. This is how the child studies himself, realizes his separate “I”, which used to be one with the person who raised and nursed him. As a rule, this is the mother.

Therefore, if in the future such a son or daughter grows into a cynic, this does not mean that the individual has a desire to not give a damn about everything around him. This is how she asserts and expresses herself. In this way, people build their own personality, and do not encroach on other people's values.

How to stop being a cynic?

The world is what it is. The attitude towards it (positive or negative) is formed by the person himself. It is up to the individual to deny everything or not be a cynic. Psychologists give advice on how to avoid becoming cynical:

  1. Learn to perceive the positive moments of life.
  2. Develop the ability to see the positive even in negative things.
  3. Form a system of behavioral principles based on a positive perception of reality.
  4. Seek protection not in nihilism, but in faith in yourself, in Higher powers, in God.
  5. Master psychological practices that help open the world and self-realization of spiritual potential.

Examples of use and citations

Cynical

, the rude words sounded with mercilessly vile clarity; From these words and from the rude laughter of the maid and cook, Elenin’s face was covered with a burning blush of shame and resentment. She felt shame throughout her body - it was spreading...

Beauty - Sologub F.K.

Heaven and earth are wet, Soul and body are damp. From morning to evening whining, cynical

the wind gets into the cracks. I'm shaking like a wet sheep... And there's no end, and there's no end!

“At the St. Petersburg Dacha” - Black Sasha

This nosy, ubiquitous, cynical

the company was a kind of sensitive receiver for all kinds of city rumors and gossip, which often reached the separate office of “Slava Petrograd”...

“Staff Captain Rybnikov” - Alexander Kuprin

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