Electra syndrome and Oedipus complex
The Oedipus complex and Electra syndrome are identical concepts .
The only difference is that the first appears in boys, and the second in girls.
The problem goes back to ancient Greece. According to legend, Prince Oedipus killed his father and married his own mother .
According to the legend about Electra, the girl loved her father very much , after his death she could not come to terms with the situation and asked her brother to kill their mother and her lover, because she considered them to be responsible for the death of her father.
This is how such concepts in psychoanalysis as Electra Syndrome and the Oedipus complex were born. The first was described by Carl Gustav Jung, the first by Sigmund Freud.
These pathologies mean subconscious sexual attraction to a parent: a boy to his mother, a girl to his father.
, the boy develops hostility and hatred towards his father, and rivalry. For him, his mother is the ideal of femininity and sexuality. However, the child cannot express these feelings due to fear of punishment.
The girl experiences similar feelings towards her father. And between her and her mother, family feelings weaken and develop into hatred. She sees her mother as a rival, vying for her father's love.
Freud considered the Oedipus complex to be paramount in the development of human psychosexual development , and many psychologists agree with him.
general characteristics
The problem can be noticed already at a fairly young age. The Electra complex in girls manifests itself at approximately 5 years of age in the form of an uncontrollable attraction to their father. At the subconscious level, it has a sexual connotation, but in reality it takes the form of a warm, trusting, but at the same time painfully attached relationship between the daughter and her own father, jealousy towards the mother and aggression and anger directed towards her. The connection between an adult woman and a baby is lost, feelings cool down - they become almost strangers.
This psychological phenomenon is an analogue of the Oedipus complex, when a boy puts his mother on a pedestal of honor. For him, she is the ideal of femininity, beauty, sexuality, grace, intelligence and wisdom. The Electra complex and the Oedipus complex are not considered serious abnormalities. Psychologists say that the problem is easy to cope with, if only you have the desire. Also, many experts prefer to call the phenomenon the single term “Oedipus complex”, without dividing it by gender characteristics.
Signs and psychological portrait
Electra syndrome begins to manifest itself in girls at the age of 3-4 years.
Pathology can be suspected based on the following signs:
- The baby prefers the company of her father . Although at a younger age, children are more attached to their mother, because she feeds and cares for them.
- The girl constantly shows aggression towards her mother and criticizes her.
- After a long absence of parents, the child rejoices at the appearance of his father, not his mother .
- The girl wants her father to teach her “male” activities : fishing, hunting, sports, etc. Her mother’s lessons cause her rejection.
- Jealousy of the father. The baby shows dissatisfaction when her parents hug and hold hands. She is also offended if her father gives gifts to her mother, and not to her.
- The grown-up girl continues to demand her father's attention , and in response to her mother's requests and comments she shows indifference or aggression.
- for such a girl to find a groom ; they all cannot stand comparison with their father. She either continues to live with her parents, or finds a man much older than her so that she can feel like a little girl with him.
Boys with the Oedipus complex also cannot create full-fledged families .
These are the so-called “mama's boys”, dependent on their mother.
Often such men are even angry with their mother for their failed life, but cannot admit the existence of a problem .
How to become more confident? Find out about this from our article.
How to get rid of Electra syndrome
What is the Electra complex? This is a condition bordering between normal and pathological, so comprehensive relief is possible only with a psychotherapist. However, there are recommendations that can temporarily ease a girl’s state of mind:
- Accept your attraction and stop hiding this condition from yourself. Allow yourself to experience this feeling to the fullest.
- Let your father go. Culturally and historically, a daughter cannot act as her father's mistress. Incest is highly taboo.
- The father is the most ordinary person. Once upon a time he was all-knowing and all-powerful, but those times have passed, and now dad is just a beloved family member who has his own life experience.
- Reach a new level of communication with your mother. It is necessary to reconsider the attitude towards the mother. It is important to understand that a daughter has much more in common with her mother than with her father.
Prerequisites for development
Not all children develop Electra syndrome and the Oedipus complex. This happens under the influence of several factors. Psychologists identify general prerequisites for the development of pathology :
- Lack of attention from parents . Children try to earn love.
- Stress in early childhood . This usually happens with the birth of a brother or sister who takes all the attention of the parents.
- Constant quarrels and conflicts in the family. The child considers the mother or father to blame for them.
- Raising a child in an incomplete family . The parent belongs entirely to the child, so the appearance of a rival is perceived very sharply.
What is the parents' fault?
Psychologists note a large share of parents’ guilt in the development of these pathologies.
Often the problem arises when parents wanted a boy, but a girl appears.
Then the baby tries to prove that she will be no worse, tries to win her father’s love .
The next factor is divorce , especially if the initiator was the mother. The girl believes that her father is unhappy and needs love and care, so she subconsciously tries to replace his wife.
If after a divorce the child continues to meet with his father, the situation gets worse. Meeting with father is a holiday, gifts, entertainment. Against this background, the mother looks grumpy and dissatisfied, constantly making comments.
Oddly enough, too much love and care from a father also turns into evil.
The father constantly controls his daughter’s behavior, does not allow her to meet friends, and does not allow her to dress the way she wants. This leads to the fact that the girl develops a complex and is afraid to show femininity and sexuality .
Also, prerequisites for the development of Electra syndrome are:
- Constantly busy mother, when the girl has to spend a lot of time with her father.
- Inconsistency between parents in education. For example, a mother scolds a child, but the father feels sorry.
- Constant quarrels in the family. Often a mother “takes out” her anger and resentment towards her husband on her daughter, accusing her of having to live with her husband only for the sake of the child.
- The death of her father, with whom the girl had a trusting relationship.
What to do if you fall in love with a married man? Read about it here.
Why does the Electra complex develop?
Psychologists believe that the main reason for the development of the Electra complex lies in the mother. Even in a complete, prosperous family, the relationship between mother and daughter can be tense. The girl, by her attachment to her father, shows that she is uncomfortable with her mother, that she cannot achieve understanding and approval from her.
Read more: Boys and girls. Is there a difference?
When a woman acts as a dictator in a family, children begin to seek support from a kind and affectionate father. He doesn’t scream, he envelops him in calmness and care, while his mother constantly demands something. In such an environment, all girls without exception can develop an Electra complex.
The Electra complex is not caused by the father's external attractiveness as a man.
If a mother notices that a girl is strongly attracted to her dad, she needs to reconsider her behavior model. If the situation in the family and the relationships between its members are not adjusted in time, this can lead to further problems in the personal life of the adult daughter.
Freudian theory
Sigmund Freud described the theory of the appearance of Electra syndrome in his own way. First, he rejected the term itself, preferring to call the pathology “the female version of the Oedipus complex .
The psychoanalyst believed that a child up to a certain age is equally attached to both parents. Then the girl discovers that she lacks the same reproductive organ as men, so "penis envy" .
First, the daughter experiences sexual desire for her father and wants to get pregnant from him. Then she begins to blame her mother for giving birth to her as a “defective” person.
The desire to be a man stays with the girl for a long time and gives rise to a feeling of her own imperfection.
This interpretation of the development of female sexuality was not supported by all psychoanalysts.
Manifestations of the complex
Before describing Electra syndrome in detail, it is necessary to outline what the Oedipus complex , because such phenomena have many overlaps, having, in fact, a common basis. The term was introduced by Sigmund Freud; in the process of analyzing the subconscious of patients, he noticed that a large number of men experience identical feelings for their mother, this made it possible to introduce the concept.
The founder of psychoanalysis concluded that there is a stage of development in which boys exhibit similar behavior, they actively seek to express love for their mother, showing aggression towards their father, as if wanting to take his place. At the same time, there is a fear of the parent of the same sex and the fear of being punished for such behavior.
This is the phallic stage, which lasts from three to six years. Psychologists are confident that during this period the foundations for future attitudes towards women in general are being laid. If a man is unable to overcome the complex, he remains strongly attached to his mother for life, which complicates his relationships in his personal life. Often the ability to build relationships with women is completely lost, since none of them can eclipse the idealized image of the mother.
Opinion by Nancy Kater
Nancy Kater is a lawyer and psychologist, author of the book The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women .
According to N. Kater, the psychological portrait of a woman with Electra syndrome looks like this.
She is unable to mature psychologically due to unresolved issues with her father. After the divorce, the mother cannot survive her pain and is angry with her daughter for continuing to love him.
This causes misunderstanding between mother and daughter , which intensifies when the mother remarries.
The girl goes into the world of fantasies and illusions, waiting for a prince who looks like her father to appear one day and take her away to a fairy tale. Such fantasies complicate relationships with men and become obstacles to career growth.
What kind of complex is this?
In psychology, there are two phenomena that have cross-cutting significance. These are the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. The first of these two concepts describes the sexual attraction that a son has towards his mother. At the same time, such a boy shows a jealous attitude towards his father. Most often, the child enters into competition with him. He considers his father an enemy and fights with him for his mother's love.
The concept of the Oedipus complex was first introduced by Sigmund Freud. He used it when writing his works on psychoanalysis. When choosing a name for such a mental state, the scientist was guided by an ancient Greek myth. This is a legend about the young man Oedipus, who was deprived of his family by evil fate in infancy. After the boy grew up, he, without knowing it, ended up in the house where his parents lived. The young man fell in love with his mother and decided to marry her. To do this, he killed his father.
The Electra complex in psychology is the female version of the Oedipus complex. The name of this term was first given in 1913 by Carl Jung, a student of Sigmund Freud. Taking into account the plot of a similar myth, he began to use this term when describing the state of a girl’s love for her own father, who at the same time hated her mother. It is worth noting that Freud never recognized the name “Electra complex”. When describing such a phenomenon, he always used the term “female Oedipus complex.”
What is the danger?
Unlike boys, in whom a full-fledged Oedipus complex develops infrequently and not deeply, women suffer greatly from this problem .
Hatred towards the mother acquires such proportions that it can give rise to thoughts of killing the “rival”. Also, due to unfulfilled desires, such girls often commit suicide.
In adulthood, the Electra complex becomes the cause of nervous breakdowns, mental disorders , phobias, etc. A woman cannot find a companion, so she lives alone.
The Myth of Electra
The myth is based on the idea of revenge. Agamemnon and Clytaemestra - the marriage that marked the beginning of the myth. Agamemnon, being a king and commander, set out with his Greek army to conquer Troy. His wife, Clytaemestra, cheated on her husband with her cousin, Aegisthus. When the commander returned from the war, Clytaemestra, with the help of her lover, killed her husband. Orestes and Electra are the children of an unsuccessful marriage.
The son studied with masters for a long time, while the daughter led the hard life of a hermit. The children learned about the murder and plotted revenge. Electra came up with a plan and persuaded Orestes, tormented by doubts, to commit the murder of his mother, Clytaemestra. When his mother's lover, Aegisthus, was performing a ritual of sacrifice, two people burst into his room and killed him. After a little time, they did the same with their own mother, who killed their father.
The myth is not directly related to sexual attraction to the father, but it perfectly shows Electra’s daughter’s love for her dad and hatred for her mother, who committed a sin.
The phenomenon of manifestation in an adult woman
If a girl was unable to overcome this complex in childhood, then the problem will bother her throughout her life .
These girls are looking for men who are like their father .
He must be strong, caring, able to protect her from all problems.
More often, women choose adult men close in age to their father. In achieving their goal, such women do not disdain anything .
They are pursuing the man, trying to take him away from his family, using threats and blackmail. However, having achieved their goal, they do not experience happiness.
Women with the Electra complex are usually independent and emancipated. They choose male professions and build a career. She has no friends, but she has many male friends.
Manifestation in adulthood
In adulthood, women often choose men who are similar to their fathers. Being in constant search, the woman looks for that inner ideal of her father. Often their gaze falls on independent and uncontrollable men.
Women consciously try to find a strong protector in all respects, a so-called “real” man who could solve all a woman’s problems and accept her into his arms like a little girl.
Mature Electras often unconsciously encounter older men who already have their own wives, because the father was much older and married. If such an option caught the eye of a woman, she will hunt for him and achieve him, beating him off from his wife. In the first time after a triumph, a woman can and will enjoy her victory, but later serious interpersonal problems begin with such men.
