Mental toughness: what it is and how to develop it

When to worry

Basically, emotional instability is almost never discussed as a separate disease. It is characterized by the following symptoms: increased irritability (any little thing can make a person angry); spontaneous outbursts of anger, the so-called state of passion; frequent, sometimes completely unconscious, mood swings; inability to control oneself and manage one’s behavior.

Moreover, these manifestations of emotional instability often have nothing to do with weather changes or stressful situations. A person with an emotionally unstable psyche is always looking for a reason to cling to and give free rein to his emotions. Such people do not like to be criticized, when they are objected to, and always try to defend their opinion, without even trying to hear and accept another point of view.

What is mental toughness

Psychological stability is the ability to endure heavy loads and overcome fatigue, and maintain self-confidence. This character trait provides a person with rapid adaptation to new conditions, achievement of high sports results, timely elimination of academic debt, and career advancement.

In psychology, this is synonymous with stress resistance. The definition of psychological stability is based on a person’s ability to maintain an optimal level of performance in conditions of instability. Neuropsychic stability determines the level of resistance of the human body to various viruses.

Vitality should not be confused with callousness and rigidity. Stubborn and conservative individuals do not know how to be flexible. Outwardly, it may seem that such people demonstrate tolerance to the negative influence of circumstances by continuing to do what they were doing. But in fact, they cannot adapt to new conditions and choose a more effective model of behavior.

Also, one should not think that stress-resistant people are careless optimists who do not tend to experience negative emotions. A resilient person is a realist. He does not live by illusions; he tends to experience both positive and negative emotions. But he controls all emotions. Finding himself in a stressful situation, he mobilizes the body’s forces to transform it or looks for a way out of it.

Types and symptoms

Emotional lability (instability) is divided into two types: impulsive and borderline. The borderline type is characterized by the following factors: a highly developed, sometimes even violent, imagination; excessive impressionability; mobility of cognitive perception; affective lability; inability to adequately deal with life's difficulties - any obstacle that stands in the way, any failure and mistake, is perceived painfully and painfully.

This condition is also called unstable psychopathy, and it borders on a serious mental disorder - schizophrenia. Mental instability of the borderline type begins to emerge during puberty. It is at this age that one’s own desires take precedence over generally accepted rules and norms of behavior. Emotional instability of this type in adolescents is manifested by restlessness, mood swings, inattention and frustration.

A person with borderline emotional instability usually cannot normally perceive all the trials that fate throws at him. And it is not at all surprising that such a character leads a person to alcoholism, drug addiction or crime. Sometimes the development of a hysterical or depressive state is observed.

People with a borderline type of mental instability have a highly developed sense of attachment, so they have practically no independence. They also tend to threaten their loved ones with suicide, enter into frequent conflicts, and create scenes of jealousy.

People with emotional instability of the impulsive type are characterized by excessive excitability. Many irritating factors have a strong impact on them. They are firmly convinced that the whole world is up in arms against them, that the villainous fate throws only trials, and the people around them wish them only harm. Children with this type of mental instability are usually capricious, touchy, they tend to throw tantrums and show aggression, both verbal and physical.

In cases where a person with such personal qualities fails to become a leader, he withdraws into himself, withdraws, and becomes angry. He is characterized by demonstrative inappropriate actions and frequent attacks of anger.

Characteristics of neuropsychic instability

Definition 1
Neuropsychic instability is a set of natural or acquired personality qualities that predetermine a response to unfavorable environmental conditions.

Each person has certain and unique ways of reacting during stressful situations, which include protective and reserve abilities.

There are several criteria characteristic of neuropsychic instability:

• impulsiveness and unpredictability of actions;
• instability in relationships with other people;
• attacks of unjustified and uncontrollable anger;
• violation of self-esteem;
• severe instability and mood swings;
• intolerance of loneliness and the inability to be alone;
• chronic feelings of boredom and emptiness;
• tendency to suicide and self-harm.

Factors that determine the depth and speed of expression of these manifestations:

• personal danger;
• degree of complexity of the tasks;
• limited time to complete complex tasks;
• prolonged stressful effects of psychological factors.

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Causes

The main causes of emotional instability:

Constant emotional stress that can arise as a result of psychological trauma, constant failures in life, stressful situations, due to lack or excess of attention, too strict taboos or, conversely, permissiveness.

Emotional disorders of a somatic nature. It can occur due to a lack of necessary vitamins and microelements in the body (in children this affects learning and attentiveness); due to hormonal imbalance (nervous disorder typical of women); changes in hormonal balance with age (menopause).

In case of emotional instability for the reasons listed in the first group, consultation with a psychologist or psychotherapist is necessary. In the second case, changing your diet and taking the necessary vitamins will help get rid of nervous instability.

The problem of leading activity in adolescence

The leading activity of a teenager is communication with peers. The main trend is the reorientation of communication from parents and teachers to peers. 1) Communication is a very important information channel for teenagers; 2) Communication is a specific type of interpersonal relationship; it develops in a teenager social interaction skills, the ability to obey and at the same time defend their rights.; 3) Communication is a specific type of emotional contact. Gives a feeling of solidarity, emotional well-being, self-esteem. Psychologists believe that communication includes 2 contradictory needs: the need to belong to a group and to be isolated (their own inner world appears, the teenager feels the need to be alone with himself). A teenager, considering himself a unique person, at the same time strives to be no different in appearance from his peers. A typical feature of teenage groups is CONFORMITY
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a person’s tendency to assimilate certain group norms, habits and values, imitation . The desire to merge with the group, not to stand out in any way, which meets the need for security, is considered by psychologists as a mechanism of psychological defense and is called social mimicry.

How to treat

It is possible and necessary to treat emotional instability. First you need to try to eliminate all situations that are a trigger for a person’s emotions. These could be stressful work moments, not very pleasant meetings, conversations with people who cause a negative reaction. There are also various dietary supplements that calm the nervous system, increase performance, and normalize hormonal balance and metabolism. And the attending physician may well prescribe a course of such drugs.

A change of scenery, new positive impressions that you can get on vacation in a sanatorium or resort, fresh air, a trip to nature - all this will help relieve nervous tension. You must learn to love yourself, and be sure to find time for things like a relaxing massage, spa treatments, dancing, yoga, swimming.

Aromatherapy sessions help a lot, which, by the way, you can do yourself. For this, essential oils of various medicinal plants are used, and you can buy them at any pharmacy.

There are also natural vitamin and mineral complexes that help with emotional instability: reFlora, AbiVit, ImmuniTon, etc. The doctor will decide which one is right for you.

How are interpersonal relationships developed?

Relationships with other people are unstable. They are accompanied by conflict situations.

Patients idealize their guardians or lovers from the first days of their acquaintance. They want to constantly be with the object of desire and from the first days they demand entry into intimate aspects.

At the same time, the ideal also quickly depreciates in their eyes. They easily begin to think that the person who was so close to them has grown cold and is not paying enough attention.

Their empathy is based only on the expectation that other people will begin to sympathize and satisfy all the desires and needs of the patient. If their opinions differ, then emotionally unstable individuals dramatically change their views on others.

Having understood the general features and characteristic signs of lability, we now need to figure out how to behave around people prone to it, what mistakes should not be made. Emotionally unstable individuals can plunge into a kind of depression and sometimes even express thoughts of suicide. But this negative mood quickly passes, and raising the alarm again is undesirable.

It is important to understand that a labile personality in adults is usually quarrelsome and can “explode” from any rudeness and even simply from criticism. In families, increased authoritarianism and a desire for scandals are also likely. All that remains is to show goodwill. Retaliating with anger and rage must be avoided because it will only make matters worse. It is also recommended to exclude conversations on obviously unpleasant and provocative topics, and not to get personal.

How to treat a woman/girl during PMS

On the eve of her critical days, a woman becomes especially unbalanced and shows all the signs of emotional instability. But this is a temporary condition. Therefore, if you want to save both your nerves and your relationship, you should follow several rules when communicating with a woman during PMS. The most important thing is patience. Any trifle, any little thing immediately evokes a storm of emotions and tears in a woman. In this situation, it is better to remain silent - otherwise you are guaranteed a huge scandal. Listen patiently to everything your companion says (even if it is outright nonsense). In this way, the woman simply gets rid of emotions. This speech does not carry any information - this is exactly how you need to react to it. Never take seriously the words a woman says during PMS. Due to the raging hormones, she will not hesitate to offend or insult you, and then begin to bitterly regret it. Therefore, try not to start an argument or showdown. Show your woman maximum sympathy and compassion these days, and your relationship will last for a very long time.

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The importance of mental toughness

Being a mentally stable person is not easy these days; high dynamics and constant stress make people irritable and unrestrained. But no matter how hard it is to control yourself, it is necessary to do this, since a person who has lost control over his emotions is not able to reason soberly, and he will definitely make mistakes that can become fatal. Coolness has always been considered a great virtue of a person, no matter how attractive a person’s temper and impulsiveness may be, hot guys are not heroes for long, they can win a battle, but people with cool heads win a war. By developing mental stability, you look several steps ahead, which actually leads you to this self-stability. If you focus your attention on a specific moment, here and now, it is understandable that you may flare up if something does not go as you wanted. If you look at things realistically, and if necessary, you can retreat in order to later turn the situation in your favor, then you are clearly a cold-blooded person, capable of surviving failure for the sake of further victories.

Very often people lose their temper because of simple words that seem offensive and offensive to them. Here your attitude towards the person who says these very words, as well as your understanding of why he does it, plays a big role. Honor and dignity are of course worth a lot, but in some cases they are completely inappropriate, just like pride, because to be among the winners means not to pay attention to anyone who is lower than you. Therefore, it is very useful to ignore the words of some people, because what is provocation, if not the desire to knock a person off his mental balance, this is practically manipulation of behavior. You cannot be a mentally balanced person if you pay attention to everyone; no goal will be achieved by you if the words of other people influence you. This concerns truly great goals, missions in a person’s life. Having acquired one, it is extremely important for you to do everything to achieve it, and you will endure any provocations addressed to you, just to be the winner in the end. Remember, the winners write history, and the winners are people with a cool head, heroes with boiling blood, who lie in the ground.

Think of all the people around you as a means to achieving your goals, or as trash that needs to be cleared away. Don't take them seriously, no matter how cynical it may sound, but they are all just clowns in the circus called life. Understand that the behavior of any person is based on achieving his goals; you cannot cooperate with a person who does not have personal interests, because in this case, either he skillfully hides them from you, or you do not see them due to your own inattention. And if this is so, then in this life there will always be a place for envy and selfishness, so you do not particularly need to be offended by other people, and naturally you should not lose your temper, disturbing your mental balance because of other people's behavior. Keeping your head clear is not really that difficult, because if you understand people’s motives, know their reactions to various stimuli and clearly see their desires, you will understand the pattern of their behavior and will not react too painfully to it.

Let's say you have some kind of hater, who, because of his hatred, if possible, tries in every possible way to spoil you. Seeing this self-hatred, you can draw rough but very objective conclusions that he envies you, does not understand you and is afraid of you. And if this is so, then why should you be nervous about this, it is much more reasonable to use this hatred to your advantage, deciding in advance what to do with such a person. For example, you can come to an agreement with him, because he subconsciously wants it, because he is interested in you, because hatred is quite a lot of attention from one person to another. So if someone hates you, then someone is too interested in you. You can also remove such a hater from your life by finding such an opportunity. The main thing is that knowing about self-hatred, you can, if necessary, be the first to strike at your potential offender. It all depends on your prudence, which you need, but which does not exist and will not exist if you do not control your emotions.

Think and reason more, and react less to the behavior of other people. Look for options like in chess; there are always and everywhere workarounds if you are not allowed into the front door. And be prepared for defeats; if you always and everywhere want to win, then you must be able to lose. A Japanese samurai can hardly be called cold-blooded, if he commits hara-kiri to himself after the first failure, his honor and dignity are actually not needed by anyone except him. People come and go, but winners remain, and they win thanks to their calmness and prudence. Never forget that life does not stop, it goes on, time has a terrible power that only a mentally balanced person can gain, not reacting, but reasoning, not succumbing to provocations, but using them. If you were fucked today, this does not mean that you were fucked once and for all, tomorrow you can fuck everyone and everything, if only you think it through and calculate everything carefully. The last thing is always remembered, and if in the end you are a winner, then only losers and envious people will delve into the past, about whom, as I already told you, they don’t even care.

Coolness is developed through understanding things and farsightedness, I once again draw your attention to this, it will be difficult to anger you if you think in dynamics and do not pay attention to creatures below you, which can be called everyone. Being a mentally stable person is very important, no matter how smart you are, if you are easily angered, then you are susceptible to mental manipulation, and therefore this is your weakness. Develop composure and calmness in yourself, through the simple methods that I have described, there is nothing complicated about it, you will not need any sedatives or alcohol if you understand and see that there is simply no reason for anxiety and nervousness, this is an illusion that you are triggered by environmental factors. The basis of all stress and neuroses is a person’s dead-end situation in solving the tasks assigned to him. But any problem is solvable, and therefore look for the answer, you will certainly find it. And you will never lose your temper if all the problems and tasks that face you are solved. You must understand this for the sake of your mental balance, so that your emotions do not cloud your mind.

What is identification expressed in?

It is expressed in the instability of the representation of one’s personality. Variable assessment of one’s “I” is expressed in a constant change in life goals and professional skills. For example, a good-natured person asking for help for himself suddenly becomes angry and vindictive. At the same time, he always fights for the truth.

Although in most cases these individuals consider themselves evil and aggressive, and sometimes even think that they do not exist on this planet. This mainly manifests itself when a person does not feel his importance and support from the people around him.

Individuals susceptible to this disease are impulsive in circumstances involving risk. They can:

• get involved in gambling;
• not knowing how to account for money and spending it irresponsibly;
• eat a lot of food and not feel full;
• use psychotropic substances;
• change many sexual partners;
• take risks while driving a car.

Suicidal tendencies

People with emotionally unstable personality disorder are predisposed to behavior that could take their life. At the same time, suicide attempts are constantly repeated.

Despite the fact that patients like to demonstratively attempt suicide, only eight percent achieve complete death. The actions of the others are aimed at getting people around them to pay attention to them. They may cut themselves or deliberately create burns on their bodies. If attention is not paid and help is not provided, attempts to take one's own life continue.

They may be caused by impending separation from the object of love. At the same time, suicide attempts provide relief for a while, especially if the patient is heard and understood, and these actions also made the other person understand that he acted wrongly towards the patient.

Concept and characteristics

In psychology, the term “mental lability” has a different meaning than in physiology. This is no longer the number of electrical signals transmitted along nerve fibers, but the rate of occurrence of the mental process plus the speed of switching between them. In any case, attention is paid not only to the level of lability at any particular moment, but also to differences in this level in different situations.

In general, in science lability is understood as:

• mobility or mobility (in a normal situation);
• instability (with pathological manifestations);
• variability (dynamics of certain processes).

Since all biological processes in the body are controlled by the nervous system, ultimately general lability is associated with it. This applies to heart rate, number of breaths, and body temperature. There is no question of mood. Therefore, there is a direct connection between the severity of variability and the risk of pathologies.

Many psychological and mental disorders can be corrected with due attention to the state of the autonomic nervous system. It shows the tension of a stressful environment much earlier than the brain. The activity of the main organs and systems is activated, and the use of internal reserves begins. Only if a tense situation continues for a long time does the central nervous system become involved.

It is often written that mental lability is definitely a negative thing. This is not so, because this human property allows you to adapt to a changing environment and switch. The lack of possibility of mental mobilization, the unwillingness to reconfigure one’s behavior sometimes causes no less harm than instability. In a normal psyche, both moments must be present, which appear only where they are appropriate. Difficulties and problems are associated with an excessive degree of both conditions. Typically, increased lability means that a person has a specific type of temperament. Cholerics are distinguished by an increased speed of emotional reaction specified at the physiological level.

Quite often, mood instability is associated with:

• neurotic conditions;
• mental trauma in childhood;
• a previous traumatic situation of similar content;
• a person’s unpreparedness for certain social changes and violent upheavals in society.

It is important to understand that lability can also be provoked by purely physiological factors:

• organic brain disorder due to trauma;
• poisoning with psychoactive and narcotic substances;
• malignant neoplasms;
• vascular pathologies.

Therefore, determining the actual causes of abnormal lability is very important. First of all, you will have to check and, if possible, exclude physiological factors. Severe pathological conditions often have to be treated in inpatient facilities. Organic personality disorder (the so-called asthenic syndrome) is accompanied by various negative manifestations, including rapid fatigue, increased sensitivity, decreased activity and dizziness. In any case, both pathological and “conditionally normal” rapid changes in mood have common features (signs).

Psychotherapists and other specialists know for sure: during a basic test, people with a labile personality can change their mood inconsistently in just a minute. This entails:

• increased temper;
• impressive conflict potential;
• weakness of self-control;
• tendency to hysterical attacks.

The classification of character deviations developed by Lichko applies primarily to children. They are characterized as emotionally unstable and unpredictable in their behavior. It is enough for someone to “look at them the wrong way” for aggression or a deep decline in self-confidence to occur. On the other hand, seemingly insignificant praise can easily be used to manipulate such children. Both of these extremes must be reversed before they have time to cause negative consequences.