Who are infantile men or women and their signs

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Surely we have all heard about the term infantility, infantile man, infantile woman, and we even understand a little what we are talking about. But let's dig a little deeper and figure it out, what is infantilism? Let’s diagnose whether we ourselves have such behavior. Then, if such behavior exists, we will find ways to solve the problem, and all this together will lead us to improving the quality of life, finding goals in life and we will become even a little happier.

Infantile behavior

Infantility is a delay in human development psychologically or physically. (This article will be devoted to psychological infantilism) Simply put, in appearance a person is an adult, but at heart he is still a child who looks at the world with naive eyes, refusing to accept reality and take responsibility for his life.

To put it even more simply, these people can be called mama’s boys, daddy’s girls, and so on. These individuals were not separated from their parents and continue to live under a warm wing, even if the person is already over 40-50 years old. Read more: Midlife crisis in men.

Types of infantilism

First, let’s figure out what types of infantilism we will be talking about. Depending on the area, this word has different meanings. In psychiatry

This is a pathological developmental delay when the behavior and emotional reactions of a teenager correspond to those of children (or when an adult behaves like a child or teenager).
There is also physiological infantilism
- accordingly, physiological pathology, a delay in the development of organs and systems.
In everyday use, it most often refers to psychological and/or social infantilism
, which is not associated with pathologies. It is these types that we propose to focus on.

Where does infantilism come from?

This behavior is imposed on children by the parents themselves. They don’t want to let them go into adulthood, they want to decide everything for them themselves, not realizing that in this way they are only making things worse for their child. Surely, you yourself have observed how an overly caring mother constantly helps her son get dressed, eat, and so on. It feels like the mother is playing with dolls, since she didn’t play enough herself as a child. And people look at all this from the outside and think, God, what a shame, who will the guy grow up to be?

In fact, it’s not a fact that a guy with such a mother will grow up childish. Perhaps the guy himself realizes the problem by the age of 14-18 and will simply refuse beyond the care of his parents. He will begin to explore the world and learn to be independent in it.

By the way, until I was 19, my parents tried to impose on me who to be, where to go and where to work. Although, thanks to my mother, at the age of 17 I got a job in the Customs authorities, for the position of document specialist of the 11th category, where I worked for 3 years, I gained quite a bit of experience working for the state. service, and most importantly, be flexible and persistent. But that's another story.

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And I also noticed such a thing that mothers usually take extra care. I have never seen men being overly caring towards their children. If you have encountered this, write in the comments.

What we get, infantile behavior is behavior imposed on their children from their parents. And, unfortunately, they do not understand that in this way they are causing harm to their child. Dooming him in his adult life to suffering from loneliness.

Manifestations of infantilism

Personal immaturity cannot be hidden. Psychological infantilism loudly declares itself in the voice of the inner child:

1. “As mom says, so it will be!” You can’t decide for yourself which dress to buy: checkered or polka dot. Taking responsibility even for small things is an impossible task for an adult child. That is why starting your own family is postponed indefinitely. A carefree stay in the parental nest eliminates the troublesome search for your own. There is no need to put the burden of your partner’s problems on your fragile shoulders.
2. "I feel bad!" More precisely, the worst of all. The search for those to blame does not last long. The close environment is the source of misfortune. They had to take care, save, regret. But they didn’t try enough and didn’t save them from another trouble. An infantile person does not know what it means to “fight for a place in the sun,” which means that someone else must clear this place for him.
3. “The whole world will wait!” Egocentrism is off the charts. It is useless to ask for help, call for an intimate conversation, or otherwise try to distract the infant about what is occupying him at the moment. Your own interests will always come first.
4. “Why do I need this?” The lack of life goals leads to the fact that an immature person lives one day at a time. There is no talk of any global plans for entering a university, finding a job, or building a house.
5. “Let everything be as before!” A comfortable position on the hatched throne is the only possible one for an eternal child. He does not know how to adapt to a new environment or adapt to people. Any wind of change seems to him a catastrophe on a universal scale. Such comrades are attached to their family and loved ones, as they are deeply dependent on them: they are accustomed to solving their problems at someone else’s expense, following someone else’s orders and seeking solace in parental or friendly embraces.

Infantility in men. Signs of behavior

1. The most important negative trait is not following agreements . For such a person there is no concept of personal responsibility, and it is clear, because there is a mother who decides everything for me. And I can refuse any agreements and nothing will happen to me for it. It really won’t happen, you are constantly angry with such people because they behave irresponsibly, but this is all useless, since they cannot be changed if they themselves do not want to change.
2. Shifting responsibility for your life to others. Everyone is to blame for everything except himself. Of course, it’s easier to blame the government for all your ills, rather than strive to develop and make the world a little better. Why, because everyone owes me.
3. Everyone owes me. Another common problem among infantile people. Most likely, it is due to the fact that the child lives alone in the family and receives full attention from the parents; this is a kind of spoiledness or something.
4. Dependence on parents. Why work if my parents fully provide, buy toys and always want to pamper me, just to make me a little happy. Yes, such people at 50-60 also sit on their parents’ necks. They live on pensions. Sadly.
5. Cannot take responsibility for family and friends . Infantile men are too afraid of responsibility, so if his girlfriend gets pregnant, he immediately leaves her and leaves, without feeling any guilt or conscience. Because he cannot take responsibility for his actions and actions. And then the girl raises her child alone and is more likely to become an infant.

Read additionally: ChSVshnik, who is it?

Causes

Infantility means that an individual strives to be pleased and indulged in everything. The causes of mental infantility are associated with minor damage to brain structures of infectious, toxic, traumatic origin. Other reasons include hereditary predisposition, psychogenic factors that reflect inadequate upbringing conditions:

1. Overprotection (excessive guardianship of children, which is expressed in increased attention and care, protection in the absence of danger, desire to keep the child at a close distance).
2. Hypocustody (lack of attention, lack of love for children, which leads to a feeling of loneliness and uselessness).
3. Despotism, cruel treatment from parents, other adults and peers.

If a child is accustomed to the fact that his opinion is not taken into account, all tasks are performed for him, problems are eliminated, he subsequently becomes inert in terms of making independent decisions. Social infantilization is a problem of modern youth. Young people dream of remaining children and do not want to grow up.

The infantile behavior of a woman or man is formed under the influence of society, which means an unhealthy situation in society, where a clear delineation of the social roles of its members, who normally actively participate in making political and economic decisions, is leveled. Continuous youth is a goal that is widely promoted and inculcated in Russian society and in foreign countries.

People live in a society where the rights and opportunities of older people are limited, which provokes a desire to prolong youth. One way to stay in the group of young people is to maintain the lifestyle and rules accepted in the youth environment. Fear of old age and uselessness leads to postponing the period of fulfilling social tasks associated with independent adult life, including creating your own family and having children.

Among the reasons for social infantilism are a deformation of the idea of ​​the family institution and a decline in moral values. Children in modern families lack attention and care from their parents, who are employed in production and are forced to earn money for living. The concept of “escapism” (an individual’s desire to escape reality into an illusory, fantasy world) reflects the situation in children’s and adolescents’ environment, where new computer technologies and related entertainment come to the fore.

Representatives of modern youth are prone to infantilism due to stereotypes inspired by the media and public opinion. Some modern girls do not strive to create a family and motherhood because they choose other social roles - for example, a business woman or a companion. They are focused on a commitment-free life.

The root of the problem of infantile behavior in men

Here I will describe the reasons for infantile behavior in men, where the legs grow from, so that you understand what mistakes parents make in raising their children.

One child in the family

All attention from parents and close relatives is focused on one individual. Such a person has the feeling that the world revolves around him, but he can easily spin the world on his trunk (just kidding). But there is some truth in every joke. The child grows up spoiled, everything is owed and owed to him, but he himself gives nothing in return. A relationship with such a person is doomed to failure. And also selfishness.

Growing up in a family without a father

Second common problem. The child has no father, no support and no one to be like. The father begins to be replaced by the mother, the mother accordingly raises her child completely under guardianship, protects him from everything aggressive from the external environment, not understanding the simple thing that the external aggressive environment is useful for the development of a man.

Raised by a domineering mother

Everything is worse here. Complete suppression of the child as a man. Total control. Constant accusations and comparisons with her ex-husband, who naturally ran away a long time ago, leaving her alone with the child, now she is taking revenge on her child for everything.

And if the man has not yet run away, it means that he is being suppressed in the same way as a child. Only psychotherapy will help with this problem. The child himself will not be able to get out from under the yoke of such a mother; here he needs the help of a psychologist.

How to solve the problem of your immaturity even if you don’t know how to do it?

I'm looking for 5 people, with an understanding of their infantility, who want to take control of their lives. Become successful in your life

You constantly shift responsibility for your life to others

You earn little, but your parents constantly give you money and therefore you don’t think about making big money yourself

You think that everyone owes you

If you recognize yourself, follow the link, I will send you the details

Get detailed information

Live apart from parents

Under any pretext, leave your parents, rent an apartment or a room in a dorm, but this will be the very first step in gaining independence and fully growing up as an individual. Parents will be against it as much as possible, but I will repeat it again, under any pretext.

Talk to parents

Unfortunately, your parents will not always understand such a desire, because they only want the best for you and will then accuse you of ingratitude, counting on awakening feelings of guilt. Therefore, resort to the point above.

But if your parents understood and heard you, then everything is fine, God bless all such parents. But still, it’s better to move right away.

Take 100% responsibility for your life

Gradually learn to take responsibility for your life. Everything that happens in your life depends only on you, no one else can help you.

Follow the agreements

Also learn to gradually comply with agreements, “the boy said, the boy did.” No excuses or childish behavior. You grow up, and adults follow the rules.

Female infantility

Women and men have similar infantilism, but they are still different. Typically, female infantilism can be described as: a small, capricious princess, and everyone around her is a servant or something like that. There are many extremes here, so let's look at the signs of female infantilism more specifically.

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Fear of responsibility

In general, this is a common practice among girls. Or rather, many girls are afraid of responsibility and they want a man to decide for them more. Good or bad, I don't know. But I think a girl should still take responsibility for herself, and just negotiate with a man on any issue.

Selfishness

An infantile woman thinks only about herself and this is understandable, since she believes that the world revolves around her, and everyone around her should serve her, run, jump and entertain her.

"Everyone owes me"

A standard manifestation of immaturity. If a girl is raised as a princess from an early age, then she becomes a princess, where everyone around her jumps, runs and tries in every possible way to please. She gets used to this world and attitude towards herself and at the same time goes to build relationships. And, of course, if a girl is very beautiful, she will definitely find her daddy, who will look after her and give her gifts in every possible way.

Harmfulness

Infantile girls are very harmful. And this is connected, as usual, with an excess of attention to her person. She is spoiled and selfish. She will test any guy on her way with her harmfulness. If a guy is taken in by her harm, then he can be manipulated in any way he likes. If a guy is confident in himself, he can calmly put such a girl in her place and open her eyes that the world does not only revolve around her.

Usually a girl immediately falls in love with such a guy, since he has destroyed the standard model of behavior. But the girl just wanted male strength.

Shifting problems onto others

Oh, how such girls do not like to solve their problems. They often run away from them, and the easiest way is to blame personal problems on the guy who is in love with her. And there can be a lot of such guys, and each one decides what she cannot decide for herself.

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Not admitting your mistakes

It's all the fault of men or the government. If only both of them were normal, everything would be fine, period. But the fact is that she is the mistress of her life, which she cannot understand and realize. This is where one of the main problems lies.

I can do anything, I'm a girl

This is the most terrible and dangerous path. As a car enthusiast, I see such girls a mile away, there is absolutely no respect on the road. Most importantly, he puts himself and others at risk.

There is also complete trash going on in relationships. The girl allows herself to communicate with men as she wants, without respect and disdain. Constantly checking how far he can push himself until he turns a man into a rag. But if a strong man gets in her way, he puts everything in its place, all infantilism will end in the bud.

Infantilism - what is it?

In Latin, infantilis means “childish.” Infantilism is the presence in age development or in appearance of signs of previous periods of development: childhood, adolescence, adolescence. This phenomenon can also be defined as personality immaturity. It manifests itself in the emotional sphere. Infantile behavior is often confused with the actions of a creative, extraordinary individual. The difference lies in the fact that the creator is able to be responsible for his actions, can support himself and loved ones, and successfully solve problems.

How can a girl get rid of infantilism?

It's not as simple as it seems. But most importantly, the girl must first of all realize that she has a problem. Once she realizes it, she will gradually want to regain control of her life. By the way, usually after such realization, girls often become businesswomen and generally successful.

Simply put, the girl needs to either talk to a psychologist and work through her infantilism, or she needs to be placed in a situation where she must make decisions herself.

conclusions

Infantilism is one of the problems associated with constant divorces in society. At the beginning, a person is pleased with this behavior, and he does not pay attention to it, but with age, people turn away from him and gradually comes understanding and repentance that he did something wrong in life, and the past years cannot be returned.

And then suffering begins, self-blaming, repentance, and so on. It’s a pitiful sight to be honest, but what can you do, such is life. And everyone has their own path. Everyone has their own problems.

Thank you for reading the article on the topic of infantility, what it is, in it I described the usual reasons for the development of infantility and what it usually leads to. I am sure that since you are reading this article, it means that you or someone you know has such a problem, which means you can already try to help yourself or others. Write comments.

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How to understand that you are infantile

Infantility, in simple words, is a property that presupposes the active protective participation of other people in the life of an individual, which often contradicts the plans and desires of the latter. How to understand that you are an infantile person:

1. Lack of a clear understanding of time and work schedule. Usually people plan their daily routine - hours of eating, time for rest and sleep, and completing planned tasks. Infantilism manifests itself in the inability to competently distribute work and free time. Such people can sit half the night in front of the TV screen, watching an interesting series, and then at work are unable to cope with a simple assignment because they are physically and emotionally exhausted.
2. Inability to clearly formulate your thoughts. People around you have to guess what they mean when they speak vaguely about a possible date for going to a cafe or cinema together, about their views on life and the situation, about their favorite dish and color. Infantilism manifests itself in the absence of a stable position and a formed worldview.
3. Emotional immaturity. Manifests itself in the inability to express feelings. In contrast to emotional maturity, when an individual is able to think rationally and act despite expressive emotions, an infantile person loses the ability to think logically and adequately respond to a situation while under the influence of strong feelings. A state of depression or affect, strong feelings can provoke impulsive, rash actions - absenteeism from work, filing a letter of resignation or divorce.
4. Inability to manage finances. It manifests itself in frequent periods when one has to literally make ends meet. An infantile woman or man is a model of frivolity when it comes to managing free money, no matter what the income, money is not saved, but is spent more often on unnecessary things and unpromising projects.
5. The inability to understand the true causes of psychological discomfort and internal dissatisfaction. An infantile woman or man in a relationship tries to re-educate, “remake” a partner instead of accepting his shortcomings or changing his view of the situation. A person should not change if we are not satisfied with something in his habits and behavior. Attempts to covertly motivate actions or the desire to manipulate people are a clear sign of infantilism in men and women. Such people drive themselves into a corner, not taking into account the right of others to individuality, not perceiving the needs and desires of others. The result of such behavior is the inability to establish harmonious communication connections and build strong, prosperous relationships.

By passing the infantility test, you can understand whether this trait is present in your character. Psychologists believe that you can fight infantilism if you recognize the problem and understand how to mature psychologically.