Who is ChSV
It is human nature to evaluate oneself with low, medium and high degrees of significance. When he is endowed with low self-esteem, he underestimates his own strength. With normal self-esteem, there is an adequate perception of one’s positive and negative qualities. When it’s overpriced, he literally doesn’t see his minuses point-blank, but extols his merits to the skies.
Signs of emotional distress include imposing one’s own point of view, even when there is no need for it. Constant desire to prove one’s own rightness, resulting in entering into disputes. There will always be an excuse for all failures. Has a strong desire to be the center of attention.
A person endowed with a sense of self-importance is always willing to help others, but this manifests itself in excessive obsession. Aggressiveness or scandalousness often manifests itself, especially when they refuse his offered help.
PSV-ers are vindictive and constantly look for negative qualities in others. They often become unbearable for those close to them, as they often spray verbal “acid.”
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There may be situations where high self-esteem is justified, for example, at work. With such an approach, a person will quickly receive recognition and career growth. Not everyone knows how to become a self-employed person and what needs to be done for this.
First, you should learn to talk to yourself, play out different scenes, and work out objections. Gradually, fantasies will begin to be accepted as reality, and the person will become confident in his abilities.
With FWS, a person is confident in his irresistibility
To maintain a sense of self-worth, it is an option to humiliate other people. Therefore, it is important to train in looking for other people’s shortcomings. This is a pretty good skill, it allows you not to lose heart.
It is impossible to say unequivocally how to be emergency and not cross the boundaries. It is necessary to simultaneously stimulate critical thinking - it is this that will allow you to adequately evaluate your actions.
If a person sets out to improve his self-esteem, then he thinks about how to become a self-esteem scum. In this case, he needs to completely stop considering other people, only openly use them. It helps with this if you constantly swear, be indignant, and create scandals. Complaining to all authorities is how you can increase your HR.
You always need to defend your rightness everywhere. Even if it is not so true, it is still important to insist on your own. If a person does not understand how to increase his own heart rate, he needs to analyze his behavior and highlight his weak points.
You always need to voice your complaints to the world. This will allow you to be confident in your opinion. Sometimes another problem may arise: what to do if you yourself have an emergency, and this interferes with your life? In this case, work on the shortcomings and strive to get rid of them. This is a long process that requires a high level of critical thinking.
It's difficult to say how to stop being an emergency situation. First you need to recognize the presence of inflated self-esteem. Only then will you be able to work on it productively.
Peculiarities
A person endowed with a sense of self-importance perceives himself from the position of “I am God.” Your own opinion is the only correct one, your appearance is ideal, your actions are exemplary.
Important point! Emergency situations are not always bad and not always good, it’s all due to the lack of critical thinking.
To see the behavior of the FWB, observe the people you know around you. I am sure that such a person will definitely appear among them. This kind of behavior will betray him: instructions, giving advice, humiliation, criticism, insults, ridicule.
This style of communication manifests itself not only in the work environment, but also in everyday life. An example would be a guy humiliating his own girlfriend and elevating himself above her. Thus, he tries to increase his value.
One of the most striking examples of the manifestation of emotional distress is the desire to indicate what to do, insistence solely on one’s point of view, criticism of new proposals or thoughts. Often people do not notice such manifestations in their own behavior. In connection with this, you have to think about how to communicate with the ChSV, because direct indications of his inappropriate actions will not lead to anything good.
Advantages and disadvantages
Every person is endowed with self-esteem. If she is understated, then it is bad for him to make contact with society. If it is high, then problems may also appear, but despite their presence, a number of advantages also appear.
Others perceive a person with high self-esteem as strong-willed and strong. He is more likely to achieve success, influence and significance. Entering into disputes and scandals is positioned as an active life position.
Based on the foregoing, it is impossible to say that HR is a specifically positive or negative quality. Disadvantages include: increased nervousness, conflict, difficult communication with people.
It is not easy for a person with high self-esteem to change his mind, especially when he has lived with her for a large amount of time. For him, his own behavior is perceived as normal, but the people around him and the world as a whole have problems.
Even in a personal conversation, Chsv will try to raise his importance. This will be expressed in arrogance, condescension and contempt.
What is self-esteem: ways to develop
What is self confidence
Self-confidence is a feeling of inner comfort, the absence of fear and far-fetched feelings of guilt. This state of mind has many advantages - a feeling of calm, peace of mind, trust and security. In fact, these are the basic needs that every person needs. If they are dissatisfied and especially the main thing is a sense of security, then life turns into a painful existence.
We feel confident if we are satisfied with ourselves, experience self-love and acceptance, and also have the necessary qualities to achieve our goals. Self-confidence, like self-esteem, is formed in childhood, and, unfortunately, not always successfully. The environment influences the perception of oneself, creating an image of a strong or weak personality. If a child receives positive emotions and praise when doing something, his confidence grows. Conversely, “bullied” children who receive ridicule or criticism grow up to be extremely complex and insecure people.
It is impossible to build and grow self-confidence, courage and increase self-esteem in a few hours or days. If you apply the tips and rules over time, you will be able to achieve results and achieve inner harmony.
Doubts are normal. A confident person understands that it is natural to doubt himself and others. The main thing is not to let them take over you, learn to shift your focus towards a positive attitude. The result is important, not the emotions we experience. Actions matter, not words. Confidence is, among other things, the ability to overcome fears and fight doubt. There is no need to be afraid, ashamed or reject it. You just need to pay as little attention to doubts as possible, concentrating on actions.
Sense of self-worth in men and women
Women's feelings manifest themselves in the form of a critical attitude towards men. They place the highest demands on them, but at the same time show disrespect, insulting and humiliating communication.
Important point! From a certain position, a girl with a sense of self-importance is called a bitch.
For such women, a man plays the role of a tool to achieve their desired goals. Such attitudes towards the opposite sex are usually not hidden. If there is a young man, he always argues with him and criticizes him in every possible way.
In men, FFS has approximately the same manifestation. The difference is that his competition extends to representatives of the same sex. He achieves self-affirmation by humiliating a weaker opponent. The following trait may appear towards women: “you are a woman, your place is in the kitchen”, “I am a man, I am smarter”, and the like. The girl is a priori perceived as inferior to him in intelligence.
There are quite a lot of similar manifestations and they are individual for each person.
How to feel your importance?
We continue the series of publications dedicated to the “People from the Closet” series. In the previous material, the topic of self-realization was started. As mentioned earlier, the need for self-expression is the only healthy need, which can be one of the important components of success, but for oneself, and not for society.
What is self-expression? This is a manifestation of yourself. This is a “departure into reality” of everything that only you can, want and are capable of doing. Self-realization may reveal answers to questions such as: “why do I live?”, “what is the meaning of my life?” and so on. It is the possibility of self-realization that gives a person fullness of life, a sense of his own need, importance, and significance. It saves you from harmful thoughts: “I live in vain.” One might even suggest that self-actualization is one of the fundamental needs of the typical character in the Closet Men series.
But, despite the apparent clarity of the topic, which may sound like this: “If you want to do something, do it!”, in practice everything turns out to be much more complicated. The main character of the books, a typical loser, is faced with the fact that he does not know himself, and therefore, he does not know what exactly is the work of his life. He is afraid to express himself, because then he will lose the illusion of cohesion with society. And society turns out to be more important to him than himself! Hence all his problems: the inability to be within one’s own boundaries (there are no boundaries), a lack of understanding of oneself, hence the lack of fulfillment, a lack of understanding of why I live, the feeling that “I don’t exist” (because I hid myself “in the closet”) and other experiences , which do not allow you to live and create calmly and happily.
Why does this topic begin with self-realization? Because it is self-realization (the ability to do what you feel drawn to by your own soul) that fills a person with healthy confidence, a sense of self-worth and worth, and not success in society. However, feedback also works: a sense of self-worth provides an opportunity for healthy self-realization. A person does not need to prove anything to society (he has all healthy sensations within himself), so he calmly realizes himself in this world. However, here too it is worth distinguishing between concepts. Realizing oneself does not mean gaining recognition from society (as the hero believed at the beginning of the famous story). To realize yourself means to accomplish what you consider important for yourself, to complete the tasks you have set for yourself.
However, due to the complexity of the process, a confused hero, a person dependent on society, can still get lost in the darkness of his own psyche for a long time, looking for an answer to the main questions.
The lack of healthy self-expression coupled with the need to feel useful and important creates a distorted sense of self-importance. People call it ChSV. The feeling of self-importance is completely false, superficial. Its typical bearer is the “peacock”, proving to the whole world that he alone has the right to “wear the crown” due to his exceptional importance. And this feeling requires “proof” - success. Such an individual, as a rule, arouses deep hostility towards himself.
Let's say the hero has realized his problem and wants to deal with it. What do we have to do? Where to start? How to get out of the circle and become a normal person who wants to live and knows why he should live?
First steps towards recovery
- Reprogramming childhood.
This time we will not resurrect what exactly happened and when. What events happened, who said what. It doesn't matter at all. It is much more useful to start reprogramming yourself - the child - right now. Right from the moment you started reading this article.
You yourself imagine and make permanent your new sensations, your fairy tale.
How healthy do you feel in your relationship with your parents?
- Your parents regularly pay attention to you. You read books together, play games, go for walks, to the theater, watch children's cartoons and discuss them. You feel: you are seen, you are given importance.
- You know you are loved. You feel cared for and supported, even when your parents are angry with you. Any punishment is fair. And therefore, you are not offended.
- Your parents, your home is a safe, secure place. You know that you will always find support here. And even if you did something wrong, your parents will defend you in front of strangers. If they think it necessary, at home, in private, they will say that you are wrong. And they will explain why. But even in your wrongness you feel love and support.
- They praise you. Your drawings, inventions, discoveries will always be noticed and appreciated. Generally positive. If there are any shortcomings, they will tell you about it. But, in general, your parents are always happy about your desire to learn new things.
- You are taught to deal with failure. Failure is just an interesting game - learning new things. If something doesn’t work out right away, then you need to try further. And then it will definitely work out (you are always convinced of this)!
- You are given the right to think and make decisions for yourself. The areas where you are responsible have been identified. However, when you have problems that you cannot solve, your parents are always ready to help.
- You feel respect for your feelings and thoughts. Your thoughts don't have to be genius. But they exist, and parents attach importance to them.
2. Exercises for you - an adult
Try to catch the healing sensation: a feeling of inner value, like many little stars in the abdomen. More precisely, in the navel area. They move in dark (the color of the universe, sky) space. They live, sparkle, fill completely, the whole body! They give you weight, a sense of yourself, your own talent, wonderfulness, uniqueness.
And in this all of me is valuable - all my manifestations, all my sorrows, all my joys. And I don’t need to prove my talent to anyone (beg for the right to life), because my value is in my integrity, in everything about me.
How to feel your importance?
Author: Moskaleva Natalya. Writer, psychologist, author of many books and publications in the field of practical psychology on various Internet resources.
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