Brutal machos, jocks or skinny ones? Who do girls really pine for?

Why do girls like men? Sigmund Freud gave his own designation to sexual desire, calling it libido. This word translates as passion or desire. The truncated meaning of the word comes down to the desire for sexual intimacy. All people are subject to sexual desire, but each individual has an individual need for it. Until adolescence, sexual desire is often expressed in the form of platonic love. In girls, this form of love is much more pronounced at an early age than in boys. As she grows up, when a girl enters adolescence, she also strives to have a male friend, but already at this age there appears a desire for intimacy, not only friendly, but also sexual. Very often the reason for this is simple interest and curiosity. Full sexual desire in women appears after twenty-five years of age, and lasts until approximately sixty years of age. In general, the appearance and development of sexual desire is individual for each woman, and this largely comes from genes.

Guys that women like

Girls love to think about what kind of guys are right for them. Perhaps because they think a lot about it and imagine their future companion with special care. But every girl imagines her lover differently: for some it is a dark brunette with a toned torso, and for others it is a thin blond. Most girls, of course, like it when a man takes care of himself and has a toned physique.

Hello from the past

To understand why good girls love bad boys, we need to travel back in time tens of thousands of years.

In those days, men attracted attention not with iPhones and the shape of their beard, but with sharp teeth and strong hands.

“Coolness” was determined not by the amount of money, but by the number of partners, influence and physical strength.

What could the poor primitive woman do but admire the strength and brutal cruelty of her chosen one?

It was these qualities that provided the family of the “bad primitive guy” with prey and respect from their fellow tribesmen.

If one of the “good guys” went on a time travel with us, he would be outraged by the savagery and injustice of the laws of primitive society.

“For what reason do you call this arrogant and rude idiot your leader? You need a wise ruler, not a moron with a blank look!”

It's a pity, but this would be the last speech of our companion. A blow to the head with a club from the “stupid leader” would only once again prove to the crowd that they were being led by the right man.

These are the laws of nature - either you or you. And if men fight each other for power, then women compete for a place next to the strongest, most brutal man.

Necessary qualities for a man

With the body, as we learned above, everything is purely individual, although there are certain criteria of beauty. What about the qualities that women like? Many girls want strong men next to them who can take care of them. Such a man will be able to offer his strong back when fate does not favor the woman. Another important thing in a man is that he madly loves his girlfriend, despite her shortcomings. Many girls, thinking about their future boyfriend, want him to be a protector, to be the head of the family and to be able to provide this family with everything necessary. Girls in many ways want to delegate responsibility for everything to men, while remaining the guardians of the family hearth.

Why so many people are turned off by good men

Why are women repelled by sweet, kind, caring and gentle men who are ready to please, give pleasant surprises and live next to each other all their lives? Many girls don’t like nice guys for the reason that they have many negative qualities, which for some become more significant than the positive ones:

• too soft and sentimental;
• they do not know how to stand up for themselves and the honor of the girl next to them;
• uninitiative;
• insecure, have low self-esteem;
• many complexes;
• they do not know how to achieve the assigned tasks, and they do not set tasks as such;
• a lot of problems and “cockroaches” in my head;
• boring and uninteresting;
• not sociable.

This is the answer why some people don’t want to see a good guy next to them, but are drawn to bad and frivolous ones.

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Modest guys

There are not very many modest guys, but you can meet them in life. Many of these guys are even afraid of girls. This type of guy is usually liked by girls who play the role of mommy in such relationships. Such girls share their experience, trying to make a shy guy more relaxed and ready for real life. Often the girl is the main one in such relationships; she feels her power and her richer relationship experience. For a girl, the experience of a relationship with a modest guy can look like some kind of experiment. For a shy guy, such a relationship can help him overcome his fears and inhibitions, and perhaps make him more relaxed.

Back to the Future

But today power is usually measured in money and the number of connections. Do men like to use force? Yes, but not for the sake of power.

Opinion leaders now include not die-hard strongmen and bouncers, but singers, actors, comedians, freaks and video bloggers.

Imagine - after tens of thousands of years, alpha males have given up their throne to guys who were previously outcasts and pawns in the game of strong men.

Our animal instincts and emotions have not gone away. Good girls love bad boys just like thousands of years ago.

What attracts girls to hooligans

Why do you like men who are bullies? Perhaps because such men can protect not only themselves, but also their girlfriend. Probably, the vast majority of girls like this type of man or guy. These guys are very reckless and they can do a lot. A “bad” guy attracts women because they see him as some kind of danger. Girls love to experience new sensations and emotions with such guys that they could not feel before. Some girls get bored with their gray world, so they may like this type of guy a lot because they can feel an extraordinary rush of adrenaline with them. In such relationships, the girl usually submits to the bully guy and becomes led by him. She rushes with such a guy “all the way”, knowing that he will be able to protect and caress her. But such risky guys have a minus, they are irresponsible and indomitable. They are often quick-tempered and quite dangerous.

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Why can you fall in love?

What kind of men do women love?

1. Romantic . Few women do not dream of “beautiful” feelings, courtship and romantic actions of a man for her sake. Coffee in her favorite cup in the morning, a nice SMS at lunchtime, remembering (or writing down) dates that are significant to her and sweet surprises for them - her beloved will certainly appreciate all this, will be immensely happy and grateful for your attention.
2. Gallant . Despite the fact that in modern society the rules of etiquette in relations with women are gradually losing their relevance, their value increases a hundredfold.
3. Reliable . Deep down, even self-sufficient women, accustomed to relying only on themselves, dream of having a strong male shoulder nearby - protection and support, with which everyone could relax and “enjoy” their own defenselessness.
4. Honest . Women better not lie. Having the instincts of an investigator, they “get to the bottom of” the lying gentleman “once”, and then no excuses will help.
5. Courageous and strong. Those who do not complain all night long about the villainous fate, the idiot boss and the situation in the country. If something doesn’t suit him, he takes it and acts, changing his life in accordance with his desires.

Why can you love a guy? Often girls, especially at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, love their guys simply because they are nearby .

This is such a high feeling, when, perhaps, all the shortcomings have not yet been revealed, lovers are under the influence of a hormonal surge, “rose-colored glasses” and are filled with an inspiring feeling.

They love because:

• You can trust him by telling him about problems with your parents, a quarrel with your girlfriend, or a “failed” exam. At the same time, the mood improves with just one kiss on the cheek;
• he will meet you after school or work, help you carry bags of groceries, making sure that the girl is comfortable;
• he writes touching SMS and even letters, makes surprises for no reason,
• he feels the girl’s mood, trying in every possible way to smooth out the “sharp corners” when she is “out of sorts”;
• he knows how to make a girl laugh and cheer her up.

How to understand that a girl wants a kiss? Find out the answer right now.

What kind of men do women like? About this in the video:

The guy who can seduce any girl

Why do you like “ male seducers ”? Such a guy can predict the innermost desires of women. A girl may want love, affection, compliments; and the male seducer guesses about such desires and fulfills them. Usually such men are good in bed. On a first date, for example, such a man can fall into a girl’s soul with his magnificent voice and piercing gaze. A seductive man is quite elegant and noble in the eyes of a woman, because he opens doors for his lady, skillfully flirts, and so on. Although often such relationships do not end in favor of the girls. This type of man can only take advantage of a woman, and then abruptly abandons her. Such men rarely have relationships that they consider serious.

Romantics

Sometimes even bully guys can be romantic, although this rarely happens. Romantics can give their beloved a lot of love, they are able to idolize their woman. There is always a share of something more, romantic in the actions of such a guy. In such a relationship there will be many walks under the stars, there will be candlelit dinners.

Girls who have a very developed imagination can reciprocally idolize romantic guys. Such a relationship gives both of them a lot. They dream about something together, think about topics close to them. Such a guy can create a kind of romantic world around himself and his girlfriend, in which she will contemplate herself as a princess. Romantics are very often monogamous, because they are able to idolize their feelings, the girl, and the relationship with her.

Everyone in this world needs a close soul mate. And girls in this regard are no exception, even if they seem very strong and stand firmly on their feet, even if they say that they can do just fine without a man. But these are all words. After all, nature created us all in pairs. Every woman likes men one way or another.

Is it true?

What will the psychology of women tell us?

How to kiss a girl for the first time? You will find practical recommendations on our website.

They choose not the good ones, but the bad ones

Is it true that girls love bad boys and why? The situation when a decent girl “from a good family” falls head over heels in love with a neighbor’s bully is not uncommon. The reason for such a misalliance may be one of the following factors:

1. Excessive daydreaming . As a rule, if a girl loves women's novels and tearful series about love, she will certainly look for similar adventures with a persistent, powerful and uncompromising hero in real life.
2. The desire to “tame” a guy with a temper , and feel like a real conqueror of men’s hearts.
3. Subconscious following of instincts . In nature there is a female desire to choose a strong and powerful partner who will be a worthy successor to the family. This is exactly how bad guys sometimes seem to girls.
4. Psychological trauma (usually childhood), the consequence of which is a pronounced desire to fully submit to the strength and pressure of a man.
5. The desire to feel the protection of a seasoned, strong-willed and strong partner, which is often the image of a “bad guy”.
6. Excessive manifestation of maternal instinct , expressed by the desire to “save” and “re-educate” a disobedient bad boy.
7. Similarity with the girl’s father (external, behavioral) and a subconscious desire for his approval of her daughter’s choice.

Is it true that girls don't like nice guys, and why? There are situations when a young man is ready to do literally everything for his beloved: gifts, poems, complete agreement in all matters.

But in response, the young lady openly ignores him, or dumps him after several dates, leaving the admirer bewildered. And this happens because:

1. Most girls quickly get bored with predictability , which often “suffers” from good guys who are characterized by frugality, correctness, consistency, and thoughtfulness. Girls (especially at a young age) often want spontaneity, which goes against accepted rules and public opinion.
2. Often, the definition of “good guy” hides the softness and spinelessness of a young man who does not have his own opinion. It is they who repel girls who strive to see “support” and “protection” next to them.

I don't like skinny ones

Why don't girls like thin men? This is an absolute lie , because, as they say, there are no comrades according to taste and color. Of course, girls pay attention to the external characteristics of guys, but this is only at the dating stage.

And yes, some people tend to sympathize more with young men of athletic build.

But then, when the relationship begins to develop, the main role is played by completely different “parameters”: the ability to make people laugh, understanding, attentiveness and gallantry.

And this no longer depends on height, thinness or “mountains of muscles”.

What kind of body do girls like? Find out from the video:

Call of the Wild: Sexual Instinct

When do the fair sex of humanity begin to be interested in men? Sigmund Freud introduced the term “libido” into psychoanalysis, which means “passionate desire.” This term carries an internal meaning, which means the desire for sexual desire, interest in the opposite object. Until adolescence, girls experience exclusively platonic love for boys. Having reached adulthood, girls need a male friend; the desire for friendship gradually develops into the desire for an intimate relationship. The period of sexual attraction to a man in a woman’s life lasts on average from 23 to 60 years.

The need for love and tenderness

Women are very delicate in nature, so it is important for them to constantly hear words of love, feel warmth and tenderness. One of the main reasons is that they need to see that they see the woman they love, look at them with loving eyes, and hear unique beautiful words addressed to them. When a woman feels that she is loved, it inspires and inspires her, and a ray of happiness appears in her eyes. Love should accompany a woman throughout her life, so it is very important that a man knows how to show tenderness and care in time.

Why do girls like bad boys and men like unavailable girls?

Today I gave an interview for the Sputnik radio station about why “bad boys,” psychopaths, impudent and aggressive “gentlemen” can sometimes attract “good” girls?

Here is a link to the audio file of our conversation:

And below is an article about the same. I wrote several years ago, but had not previously posted it on my website:

“How true are the stereotypes about relationships,” says MED-info expert, sexologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist Evgeniy Aleksandrovich Kulgavchuk .

Let us consider these phenomena not only from a psychological point of view, but also from an evolutionary and biological one. So, the bad guys. What exactly is attractive about this? Probably not sloppiness or bad habits, be it tobacco or alcohol. After all, it’s unlikely that anyone will be attracted to a sloppy alcoholic with the smell of a long-unwashed body and bad breath. That's why bad guys like that aren't inspiring, right? Now let’s take, for example, a biker on a fast, powerful and beautiful motorcycle, brave, self-confident, even if he has tattoos on his right shoulder and a penetrating gaze. And this is a slightly different picture. Key words - confidence, integrity. Courage that captures both cities and women's hearts. This is power. Testosterone. Sexual attraction. The pressure, which sometimes makes some ladies' legs weak and dizzy. This is the ability to protect and obtain subsistence from less dominant males.

“The duty of parents is to explain to their daughters from childhood the significant difference between an integral man, capable of achieving his goals, able to overcome, and an antisocial type with defiant behavior.”

The irony of fate is that, poorly distinguishing shades of personality and behavior, intoxicated by endorphins, one can make mistakes. And the brave, romantic hero may eventually turn out to be, in fact, just an excitable psychopath who can hit his lady in the face just because it seemed to him that she smiled at an acquaintance. “Eh, Mommy, I was sledding with the wrong person... How right Mommy you were...,” was sung in one famous song. This stage is especially important for girls when they are just starting a relationship and looking for their hero. And some “heroes” can leave scars that last a lifetime. Parents can be quite worried about their daughters during the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, it is their duty to explain to their daughters from childhood the significant difference between an integral man, capable of achieving his goals, able to overcome, and an antisocial type with defiant behavior. After all, challenge and protest can be interpreted as internal strength. Although in reality a person may simply have nothing to stand out with other than protest. There are such people: they can be “against”, but they cannot be “for”. But these two personality types are diametrically opposed, aimed at destruction or creation. The difference in worldview, and even in fate, is sometimes enormous.

Now about the unavailable. The situation is somewhat similar here. There are girls who know their worth, and there are those who fill it. Although the price is probably not quite the right expression and gives rise to specific associations. So, a girl who knows what she wants in life, with adequate self-esteem, and who does not waste time on trifles and petty relationships, may be inaccessible. Or you could say selective. This is probably a harmonious option. She doesn’t drift around the sofas of loving gentlemen; she believes that sex is not about body movements, but first of all about relationships. And it’s probably not a bad thing that she is looking for her man, whom she can admire. Yes, she may refuse others along the way. An intelligent and kind woman will be able to do this in a way that does not humiliate or offend the man. At appointments, I often remind women of the simple truth that it is important to treat people the way you want to be treated. After all, everything will return: both evil and good. If someone does not know how to properly end a relationship that has not begun, this needs to be learned.

“If the relationship was built on inaccessibility, when receiving a prize, a man can often simply disappear. After all, the quest is completed, we need to look for the next exciting game.”

Now let's move on to perception deceptions. After all, there are ladies who act distinctly cold and even distant. Among them there are those who are tired of various offers, and this is already a defensive reaction. But nevertheless, they continue to wear provocative and too revealing clothes, and this is interpreted by some men as “the girl is available.” After all, we indirectly shape our environment without even thinking. Sleek curves, bare legs, protruding breasts, jeans below the tailbone - a bold attempt to get acquainted. And suddenly “unavailable”. Men experience a glitch in perception. And boys are curious. And at 5 years old, and at 50. It seems to them that this is where the hidden advantages are located. And hidden for everyone. But he (men are also hunters) will achieve his goal and in this he also tries to subconsciously compete with other males. He can even thus assert himself at the expense of her in front of others, “rejected.” Become better than them through it. And the siege begins. Women like this game. This also fits into the system of “ritual squats”, analogues of which we see in the animal world. Many species of animals test the male for stress resistance and loyalty before copulation. That is why the female (it turns out, also inaccessible) often runs away from the male. There is a joke on this topic: “A hen, running away from a cockerel, thinks to herself: “Am I running too fast?” Therefore, in some ways this phenomenon comes from nature.

“The proverbial “golden mean” is to know what you want in life, strive for it, know with whom you can achieve it, and look for your person.”

But even here, incidents happen. After all, the female may not have hidden abilities and advantages, or she may simply be afraid of relationships. For example, after communicating with the bad guy from the 1st paragraph. The results of such games can also be disappointing (literally, the disappearance of the spell). And if the relationship was built on inaccessibility, when receiving a prize, a man can often simply evaporate. After the quest is completed, you need to look for the next exciting game. If a woman drags out her “thousand and one nights”, remaining unavailable, the man’s interest may also disappear over time. If during this period the couple is able to create the 2nd series of a joint quest in the format of like-minded people, then when conquered, interest may not be lost, but deepen. But in order to create something common, you need to know what you want from life. It’s good in this regard for people from full, happy families. They were able to absorb what kind of relationship they wanted to create. Someone who doesn’t really understand what he needs may remain inaccessible or be an eternal test drive without the desire to purchase. In these cases, the help of a sexologist can be very effective, who will help you understand where and who you need to look for to find your happiness. After all, divorces and separations are very expensive, both materially and emotionally. By choosing the wrong ones, we deprive both ourselves and that person of happiness, because we can take the place of someone who, perhaps, would be happy with him.

Concluding our thoughts on this interesting topic, we can summarize that the notorious “golden mean” is to know what you want in life, strive for it, know with whom you can achieve it, and look for your person.
Be able to distinguish courageous from asocial, self-respect from arrogance and arrogance. Not an easy task, but the prize of family happiness is worth it.” Tags: Sexologist, sexologist Kulgavchuk, radio, interview, commentary, article, recording, Why girls like bad boys, Why men like independent girls, Audio, File

A man is a support and a wall for a woman

In every human civilization, men have been providers and protectors. Being physically stronger and more resilient, men were a strong support for women. In case of danger, a man has the power to protect a woman and protect her from adversity. All this is the main reason why women in society are called the weaker sex. Many girls think that without a man it is impossible to solve many important issues in life, and therefore, when there is no support and support nearby, she feels helpless. That's why girls like men, they see in them a stone wall that cannot be broken through.

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Marriage

Almost from an early age, all girls dream of a wedding, a snow-white dress, and, of course, a wonderful groom. This is the nature of a woman; they already instinctively feel that they were born to be a wife and mother, to warm the hearth and give comfort. Married women have a completely different attitude in society, in other words, marriage gives girls some security. Marriage gives a woman even if not everything, but a lot. For example, full-fledged motherhood. It is much better when children are born in a legal marriage. A woman can calmly sit on maternity leave without thinking about the financial side, because her husband will take care of this. Raising children together is also a great and real happiness. Taking care of her husband and children is already inherent in a woman at the genetic level.

Two is strength, or men and women need each other

Whatever one may say, being together is much more interesting than being without a partner. You have someone to share love and happiness with, someone to ask for advice and help if necessary. Girls have a hard time without a man. There are times in life when a man's perspective on the situation is simply necessary. In her youth, a lonely girl may reason that her freedom is dear to her and she has no need to connect her life with a man. But over the years, loneliness sometimes makes you want to howl like a wolf; the main thing is not to be too proud and be able to allow yourself to be loved and loved by yourself. Be able to trust and appreciate great relationships.

What traits do women value in men?

What characteristics should a man have in order to please a man? This is, firstly, good manners. Women are very gentle creatures; they will not tolerate rude and arrogant attitudes towards themselves. Secondly, they value adequacy. Many girls will not like men who are jealous for no reason, create a lot of problems, and resolve issues with shouts and even fists. The fair sex likes hardworking men. If a man is hardworking, it means he knows how to earn money. Don't think that women only love money. In poverty, no love can survive.

Many girls like romantic men. It’s so wonderful when they write poems and sing serenades in your honor, arrange romantic dinners, give flowers and gifts, and say tender and unique words. A man for a woman should always be strong and decisive. After all, by her nature, a woman is not used to being the first to take the first steps and show signs of attention. They love it when a man conquers them. This must be done beautifully and skillfully. There is no need to impose too much and immediately give up when you hear no.

Women are attracted to well-groomed men. Sloppy, provocatively dressed men will never interest girls. Women also avoid constant whiners, men who are constantly offended and do not keep their promises. Women value responsible young men who keep their word. Women love to be cared for and shown sensitivity towards them. Thus, girls need men. It is important for them to be behind someone like behind a stone wall, it is important for them to walk through life hand in hand, to share love and happiness. A man for a woman is an important support in life! A woman cannot live without love, and love in all its manifestations can only be given to a woman by a real man.

Why girls love bad boys but don't choose them as husbands

From the point of view of a modern person, and the awareness of sex that has been ingrained in his mind as a one-time action and non-binding, girls who do not strive for marriage often choose the “bad boys” for sex for one night, or relationships without obligations. Motivating this by the fact that if she doesn’t care about her own reputation, then at least in such a way that it won’t be offensive, believing that she will spend an unforgettable time with the “kickass” guy. Since it is genetically determined, the more strong traits a man has, the more sexy and hardy he seems in bed.

However, numerous studies have shown the other side of the coin. When it comes not to a short-term acquaintance or a passing hobby, both young girls and mature ladies give preference to more caring, good-natured and balanced men. When it comes to marriage, the fair sex chooses, among others, sensitive men, cheerful ones capable of helping their neighbors.