LifeBossing: What to do if your boss is bullying you


Unfortunately, quite often at work there is a situation when an ordinary employee is forced to listen to the manager’s comments addressed to him. Quarrels flare up systematically and arise for any reason. The director seems to be irritated by any action.

His offensive statements appear out of nowhere, without obvious reasons, and look like nitpicking. Many office employees endure grievances for years and do not try to change the situation. So, what to do if your boss is nagging?

Reasons for nitpicking over trifles

Do not forget that your employer is an ordinary person, he may dislike someone. Perhaps your manager simply associates you with an unpleasant moment in his life. In such a situation, a reasonable approach will help: sit down with him at the negotiating table and find out why he treats you this way .

Make it clear that you truly love your job and have no interest in leaving your position.
The main thing is to speak calmly and slowly, without raising your voice. Maybe after this discussion the director will change his anger to mercy.
Pay attention to your character and behavior. If an employer only picks on you, then you give him permission to do so. Perhaps the formed image worsens the situation.

ATTENTION! Do you regularly avoid problematic situations, remain silent when people say rude things to you? Do you blush when your manager raises his voice a little? Then, don't ask yourself why your boss chose you as a scapegoat.

Weak and insecure employees are immediately visible: they are easily intimidated and forced to do something that is not on their to-do list. And they never contradict, because inside they consider themselves worse than everyone else. Living with such a problem is quite difficult.

There are also tyrant and sadistic leaders who feel good when those around them are upset and cannot change anything. Having seized power, such citizens often abuse it. It is likely that the boss enjoys wearing you out with constant nagging with or without reason . It’s a pity, but it’s difficult to fight this character trait, but it’s still possible.

Admitting mistakes

If you discover your mistakes, have the courage to admit them. There is no need to continue to behave the same way. This doesn’t mean that you should immediately run to report your thoughts to your boss, just try not to make similar mistakes again. Make a definite decision for yourself and follow your goal. Remember that only truly strong people can admit failures and mistakes. Be open to change, strictly follow the tasks that you yourself have determined. The boss, if he is an intelligent person, will definitely pay attention to the changes that have occurred. Enthusiasm in work is immediately visible and felt from a distance. You don't need to do anything special, just reconsider your working hours and how you spend them.

Clings to a girl

A more advanced case is when a male leader finds fault with a woman. Let's look at it separately:

  • Despite the fact that the feminist movement has existed for a long time, in Russia high positions are most often occupied by men. Sometimes nitpicking can be caused precisely by this point. The main reason why an employer may find fault with a lady is a feeling of weakness of the enemy.
  • A boss may feel sympathy for his subordinate. Naturally, not every person can reciprocate: unrequited “love” is a common occurrence. But the insecure boss will get angry and begin to use his position to humiliate the lady and make her stay at work uncomfortable.
  • If you are a real expert in your field, then it may well be that the boss feels like a prof. inferiority in your background. It's sad, but that's life: even small success can cause envy. But there is a reason to smile - you have really achieved something in your life!

Girls tend to remain silent and may not talk about conflicts: they are not always ready to fight if they see that their opponent is higher in terms of position. The reason is the inability to value oneself and problems in childhood.

Appeal to the Prosecutor's Office

In more serious situations, when talking does not help, the employee has the right to contact the human rights body - the prosecutor's office. Such situations include humiliation, insults, or attempts to force someone to quit.

The manager, as a citizen, in the event of a violation of an employee’s rights, will be administratively fined up to three thousand rubles.

In the complaint, the employee states:

  • actual events, indicating time, place and circumstances;
  • references to evidence or witnesses.

During the inspection, the prosecutor determines the validity of the employee’s claims. As a result, it refuses to satisfy the requirements or sends an order to the employer demanding that the illegal actions be stopped. Any decision of the prosecutor is contested by a higher authority or by filing a claim in court.

The period for consideration of an employee’s complaint by the prosecutor’s office is thirty days. The result is disputed in court within fourteen days. The court's decision is contested within ten days.

ATTENTION! Look at the completed sample complaint against an employer to the Prosecutor's Office:

Attention! Our qualified lawyers will assist you free of charge and around the clock on any issues. Find out more here.

What's your boss like?

When analyzing the question - “why is the director pestering me?”, it is better to start with an analysis of his character. This will help form a good strategy. Main types:

Hysterical

Constant outbursts of aggression, dissatisfaction with employees. He is not endowed with high intellectual abilities. Ready to blame anyone, does not admit his mistakes. Often takes credit for other people's successes and does not consider this a problem. It is difficult to talk to him normally, and his arguments and accusations are unjustified and not supported by facts.

Perfectionist

The desire of the management to organize the execution of work at the highest level deserves praise and approval. But sometimes it goes to the extreme. Everyone can make mistakes. But not for the perfectionist. There is no peace to speak of.

He controls everything and punishes employees for minor mistakes. "Best the enemy of the good". This kind of boss is used to watching everything and refuses to delegate, even when necessary . Does not give the specialists under his subordination a chance to make independent decisions.

Petty tyrant

Abnormal behavior is considered to be a consequence of more serious personality problems. Lack of self-confidence, the desire to emphasize importance and significance by belittling employees, excessive confidence, and so on.

He finds fault with everything, belittles employees, is dissatisfied with the work done, and never misses an opportunity to praise himself. If the employer is a narcissist, it is not clear how to behave. You don't want to lose your job, but it's hard to tolerate.

You should not allow yourself to be humiliated. If things go too far, don't be afraid to go to TI or the courts.

Schemer

Dangerous and cunning boss. You can expect any surprises from him. He wants power. If necessary, he will go over their heads. If he is guilty or has made a mistake, he will try by all means to “throw off” this burden.

What can you do before contacting government agencies?

If an employee does not seek to leave his job, abuse by the employer is possible.

Nevertheless, most large organizations provide mechanisms for resolving conflict situations between employees and management:

  • trade unions of workers. This body considers requests from employees and makes a binding decision regarding the employer;
  • trade unions of industry workers. Formed in the regions, they also consider requests from representatives of the profession;
  • if the organization has a labor dispute commission, the employee has the right to file a complaint about a violation of rights.

Important! The employer pays wages to union members and has direct influence on their decisions. So, to resolve serious issues, you should contact government agencies.

All about protection

Constant quarrels have a negative impact on the work of the entire staff: you must admit, it’s not very pleasant to work when everyone around you is frozen in anticipation of the next scandal. How to proceed:

  • The first thing to do is to isolate yourself from problems as much as possible . Solve problems gradually: when the boss starts arguing with you, then get involved.
  • Don't forget what responsibilities are stated in your agreement. Try to do what you need to do, and then your conscience will be clear. Don't complicate your life in hopes of pleasing the director. If your boss is always criticizing you for no reason, he won't stop.
  • Don't react too emotionally: this pleases the boss and some employees too. Think of nagging as an unpleasant fly - yes, it interferes, but it does not ruin your plans at all.

If your boss calls you into his office for a private conversation, act confident and calm. Don't yell, don't make a scandal.

Speak as usual and always use arguments when arguing with your boss. Never do this in public.

ATTENTION! There are times when being aggressive actually helps. It is enough to explain to the director once normally that you do not want to tolerate his arbitrariness, and the attitude changes before your eyes. The main thing is not to overdo it - you don’t want to get a reputation as a brawler.

An employee may, independently or with the help of a lawyer, defend his rights by any legal means, including:

  1. apply to the TI;
  2. file a claim in court.

Appeal to such bodies is justified if the interests of the employee are not taken into account or discrimination occurs on any basis.

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Intimidation by dismissal

If the boss says: “If you don’t like it, take the documents,” then this is a direct use of psychological pressure. That is, either you accept the conditions, or look for another job.

Don't fall for this trick.
Such manipulations are illegal.
The reasons why you may be fired are clearly stated in the Labor Code. And no one has the right to exceed their authority. In this case, management has no legal grounds for severing relations.

Defending your rights is the goal of every self-respecting employee. There are few ways to counteract it, but there are some. You can come to the trade union or send a complaint to the labor inspectorate.

IMPORTANT! You can also create an additional an agreement with a clearly stated amount of payment for new responsibilities. There are more problems in private organizations where business relationships are not properly formalized. But you need to try to protect your interests in this case too.

The boss is nagging about something that is irrelevant

Conflicts between employees and their immediate supervisor inevitably arise during busy work days. The reason for this is stress, workload, problems in interaction with government agencies, pressure on the boss from senior management.

A bad employee reaction is to cry and endure it. The motive is certainly noble, but it leads labor relations to a dead end. The employee needs to maintain self-esteem and mental health.

The first thing to do is check the content of the employer’s speeches and texts. The second is to identify discrimination on any grounds against an employee and the deterioration of working conditions for him.

Discrimination on racial, gender, national and other grounds is unacceptable and grossly violates the norms of the Constitution and the Labor Code of the Russian Federation.

Start doing all your work perfectly

If you were unable to identify the main reason for your boss’s hatred, then it is quite possible that he is constantly nagging you because you make some, even minor, mistakes at work. In this case, you need to start doing your job perfectly in order to avoid mistakes. Thus, you will not only be able to change the attitude of your boss, but you will also be able to increase your work efficiency, which will also have an absolutely positive impact on the entire work process.

Should you tell your boss that you are unhappy with your job?

However, telling your boss directly about this is always a risky move, since such a statement may be perceived as the first sign that you are looking for a new job.

However, sometimes such a step can bring unexpected results. If the boss does not know about the problem, then he will not be able to solve it. A conversation with your manager, in this case, can bring you the desired promotion or positively influence your career in other ways. We admit that no matter what the situation is in your case, solving problems in your current position is always better than starting to look for another and building a career from the very beginning in a new place.

The outcome of your conversation directly depends on the boss’s ability to change your position, his understanding of the situation, as well as the depth and depth of the problem itself and the availability of alternative options.

So, let's consider all the cases when a conversation with management about your dissatisfaction with your work will be justified, and when it will not.

Yes: You know the essence of the problem and possible solutions

In other words, you have a clear idea of ​​what changes are needed to meet your requirements.

No: You are not sure what the reason for your dissatisfaction is

You've probably already heard the common phrase: “Don't come with a problem, come with a solution” - here it is more than appropriate. If you don't know what can relieve you of dissatisfaction, a conversation with your superiors is unlikely to be beneficial.

Yes: The boss has the necessary authority

If your dissatisfaction is primarily related to your salary, position, state of the workplace, or your responsibilities that are under the responsibility of your immediate supervisor, then the conversation is justified - your boss will be the person who is able to solve the problem or contribute to its solution through senior management .

No: The solution to the problem is beyond your boss's authority.

If your dissatisfaction is caused by company policies, decisions of its managers, or other factors that are not the responsibility of your manager, the conversation will be unproductive and even if you decide to have it, you will not get the expected results. However, in this case, you should think about who you could talk to other than your immediate supervisor.

Yes: You have backup options

If your dissatisfaction with your job is so great that you consider quitting as the most likely solution to the problem, then you really have nothing to lose. However, you should first worry about finding another job and only then move on to extreme measures.

No: You can't afford to lose your job.

If your current position is the only option that can support you for this period, you should first work on solving your problem on your own and quickly look for a job, postponing decisive actions.

Yes: Your boss is ready to work for the benefit of his subordinates

Probably, by this time there are already precedents for how a manager was able to help solve the problems of his subordinates. If this is your case, then feel free to have a frank conversation.

No: The boss is not on your side

Other precedents are possible: has it ever happened that an employee quit after talking with your manager? Has dismissal become the most common way to resolve employee problems? If you cannot answer unequivocally, think about how close the manager is to you and act based on this.

Being dissatisfied with the state of affairs at work can have a serious impact on your productivity and significantly reduce your quality of life. However, you should think twice before bringing it to the attention of your boss, otherwise there is a great risk of depriving yourself and your job along with dissatisfaction. Make sure that the upcoming conversation will be productive and that improving your situation is not a hope, but a realistic prospect for you.

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Statement of claim to a judicial authority

A citizen has the right to file a claim in court, but without significant evidence, the court will not make a reasoned and correct decision in favor of the employee. Therefore, before going to court, you should stock up on evidence.

A claim for insult is considered according to the general rules of litigation. Served at the defendant’s place of residence.

For statements of claim, the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation establishes drafting rules. It is reasonable to contact a specialist.

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In the claim, the applicant states:

  • information about the plaintiff and defendant;
  • time, place and circumstances of the insult;
  • what kind of insult occurred;
  • evidence of the plaintiff’s position;
  • information about witnesses;
  • plaintiff's demands.

The plaintiff's demands are for compensation for moral or material damage from the actions of management. Moral damage includes psychological suffering, material damage includes loss of ability to work, loss of earnings, and other losses.

Acceptable evidence:

  • testimony of several witnesses, at least two;
  • information on the website on the Internet;
  • audio and video recording;
  • correspondence by email or SMS.

A tricky way to obtain evidence is to meet with the manager and re-talk about the current situation, recording audio or video.

ATTENTION! Look at the completed sample statement of claim for protection of honor and dignity, compensation for moral damage:

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