Everyone wants to find their love. Love is a wonderful feeling that works miracles: it can cure a sick person, love inspires and inspires deeds, love makes a person more beautiful, kinder and happier, gives strength when it seems that they are no longer there. Everyone wants to love and be loved. Love is born and lives in the soul. Pure love does not depend on feedback. A mother always loves her child, no matter what he is like or what he has done (we will not take into account exceptions).
Draw a detailed portrait of your significant other: tip 1
Be honest with yourself and at the same time realistic. Think about what is really important to you in a person, which shortcomings you can come to terms with and which ones you cannot. In our early youth, we succumb to the charm of media heroes, girls fall in love with movie and show business stars, boys dream of supermodels. This is a normal stage of sensory personality development. But if you've already passed puberty, dreaming that Johnny Depp or the Prince of Wales will be drawn outside your door one morning is not constructive.
Decide on the age, level of education and income of the person you want to find, think about what his goals are in life, how he should behave, what he can dream about. Do not consider that these are too rude and materialistic indicators that have nothing to do with love. Statistics show that alliances between people of the same circle are always much stronger and more successful than misalliances. Stories in the spirit of “the young lady and the bully” rarely happen in practice, but even if they do happen, as a rule, they do not lead to long-term harmonious relationships.
37% of women and 35% of men have posted a profile on dating sites at least once in their lives.
What is mutual love?
The kind of love that evokes positive emotions. You say “I am loved” when you feel deep down that someone cares about your well-being. This feeling of being cared for brings deep satisfaction to your soul. When you feel loved, there is a natural reaction of respect for the person who shows us love.
It could be love at first sight, or, conversely, long communication until this feeling appears. Many have and continue to confuse attraction with love.
But the attraction of opposite sexes is an absolutely natural thing that is inherent in all living species, and not just people. Relationships cannot be built on attraction alone, because this attraction ends one day, which means that the main thing that kept people together disappears.
Sometimes mutual love is built on mutual interests - for many years people have been doing the same thing, and talking about it became the starting point for starting any relationship.
The main thing is that someday this hobby does not end, otherwise, again, what connected people will disappear, which means it can also hardly be called true love.
There is a coincidence of circumstances that forces people to live together and the couple begins to perceive this life together as a matter of course.
And, after some time, based on this habit, something more arises that can be called love. Love based on the habit of living nearby.
But still, the most real mutual love can be confidently called feelings based on the first impression, and not supported by any additional incentives, that is, “love at first sight,” when they love a person, no matter what happens in life, no matter what there were no disagreements, this feeling does not go away.
And only after feeling this can a person say with confidence that he has found mutual love. Sometimes it happens that, having found mutual love, we do not see it, that is, we do not appreciate those real feelings that are given to us from above, we cannot discern in the person who is nearby the one or the only one with whom we would like to share the rest of our lives.
And this inattention ultimately forces you to look around, in search of something better. And after some time, this something appears, as it would seem, what they were looking for, but the person who started such a search begins to understand that this is not what it was before, and there are no those feelings, there is no that spark between him and his the new other half, and then he begins to understand what he has truly lost. And he wants to preserve mutual love with all his might.
We can find and lose anything, but we would never want to ask the question “how to find mutual love” for the second time in our lives.
Look good and be confident: tip 2
For someone to love you, you have to love yourself. Imagine the man or woman of your dreams - are you really a worthy companion for such a person?
Of course, spiritual qualities are very important, but the form of this content is no less important. Whatever one may say, it is appearance that we pay attention to first of all. So take care of yourself. If you have long wanted to get in shape, sign up for the gym without delay. Leave in your wardrobe only those things that you like yourself in. Go to a hair salon or spa. Try to look like you have a dream date every day. All these measures will not only help you look better, they will give you confidence in your irresistibility, and this is what makes a person attractive.
Go out in public more often and expand your social circle: tip 3
How to find your love, where is it waiting for you? Anywhere, but not at home on the couch in front of the TV. To meet new people, you need to go to new places. Go to exhibitions, lectures and seminars on any subject that interests you, join a sports section or look for a nice skating rink, go on a trip, even if there is no company. The more you interact with people you don't know well, the better your communication skills become. This is extremely useful, especially if you are not a naturally sociable person and sometimes get lost when talking with strangers.
According to statistics from recent years, approximately 30% of relationships that ended in marriage began as a romance in the virtual space - future spouses found each other on dating sites, social networks, and Internet forums.
Passion is not love: tip 4
Even if you are very tired of loneliness and are determined to start a serious relationship, maintain a certain sobriety of mind. Fans or admirers will certainly appear after following the first three tips, but how to determine whether they are worth your attention? Is it love or not love?
The question is complex, especially since there is no single standard, there is no instrument capable of measuring the “truth” of love. This feeling is often confused with physical attraction, which can literally overwhelm and knock you down. But such hormonal storms do not last long - only a few months. And if you and the object of your passion have nothing to talk about, if his personality does not interest you and you as a person are also uninteresting to him, such a relationship is doomed.
Often, the choice is influenced not by one’s own hormones, but by the opinions of others. Your parents are delighted, your friends also like your chosen one, everyone begins to hint to you that you have finally met a couple, but this person does not evoke any special feelings in you - this is a very common situation. Don't let public opinion influence your choice. It’s easier to endure the reproaches of others that you missed such a promising option than to connect your life with someone you don’t love, just so as not to disappoint your relatives and friends.
Register on a dating site: tip 5
If you don't know where to find love, then a dating site is the most obvious answer to this question. Of course, there are also people on such sites looking for frivolous adventures, but the majority come to these resources with the goal of finding their soulmate.
British sociologist Geoffrey Gavin conducted a study in which he invited a group of randomly selected young men and women aged 19 to 26 to post their profiles on dating sites. It soon became clear that more than 70% of the subjects began relationships with their virtual acquaintances.
How to choose a dating site where you can meet your love
There are a lot of dating sites, but not all of them have a good reputation. Among the large resources, Edarling.ru and Loveplanet.ru are well known; the website Linkyou.ru provides good chances of finding your love, where you can find a person of a certain profession or religion. Those sites where the main functionality is available only to paid users can also be considered reliable - this immediately scares away frivolous people.
How to create a profile correctly
A user's profile on a dating site contains basic information about him and his photographs. Take your profile creation seriously and be honest. Provide only information that is true. What's the point of writing in the "Hobbies" section about your love of literature if all you read are business letters and food labels in the supermarket? Your profile should reflect your personality in order to attract the attention of the right people. Don't be afraid to seem weird or too original.
You should choose your photo especially carefully. Do not overuse filters and graphic editors - remember that this can lead to awkwardness and disappointment in a personal meeting. A clear photo that clearly shows your smiling face is the best option. If your goal is a serious relationship, do not post too explicit photos. Dating site specialists unanimously claim that the greatest interest is generated not by selfies or staged photographs, but by pictures in which a person is busy with some activity.
Natural selection: how to know you've found the right person
Most sites offer you likely candidates based on your profile data, as well as taking into account the wishes you have indicated. Therefore, when filling out your profile, be extremely precise, indicating age, geographic and other boundaries, otherwise you will literally be inundated with letters from people who are clearly not suitable for you.
However, you shouldn’t expect that you will find The One or The One in the first couple of days. Get ready to do the screening. It is quite obvious that people who from the very first lines offer you sex or send you candid photographs are not suitable for you - there are many men on dating sites looking for a girlfriend for the night and girls of a certain profession. But if you want to find love, these people are unlikely to interest you. Also beware of those who are clearly trying to extract as much personal information from you as possible, but do not say anything specific about themselves - this may be a sign of a scammer.
If communication goes smoothly and you are clearly interested in each other, you can make an offline date. Experts strongly recommend holding the first meeting not at home, but in a public place - if things don't go according to plan, you can always leave with your dignity intact.
Reasons for loneliness
Before you begin an active search, you need to understand yourself and your needs for love. It would be good to understand for yourself what pushes you to search for your other half. In addition, it is important to clarify what are the reasons for temporary loneliness.
Possible reasons for loneliness:
- fear of strong feelings or relationships;
- fear of meeting people of the opposite sex;
- behavior that repels potential partners;
- inflated demands on the desired chosen one;
- lack of free time;
- inability to get along with people, isolation, selfishness and other character flaws;
- psychological trauma in the past;
- postponing life “for later” and other reasons.
People seek love for different reasons and this need is not always related to the need for love.
Possible reasons for looking for love:
- desire to have a permanent sexual partner;
- social desirability, the desire to be “like all normal people”;
- relationships for the sake of relationships, the desire to be paired with someone, just not to be alone;
- the desire to benefit from the relationship, to solve problems at the expense of another person;
- the desire to be loved, to receive love, but not to love;
- the desire to love, to give your care and tenderness;
- need for love: the desire to both give love and receive it.
The need for love is satisfied by love. If a person seeks love for the sake of satisfying other needs (material well-being, status, professional development, sex, and so on), the other person becomes only a means to achieve the goal.
Of course, it is possible that a relationship that began for the sake of achieving one or another personal gain will develop into love, but still, when asking the question of how to find true love, it is first better to ask yourself “Am I looking for love?” and answer completely honestly.
Factors that influence the search for mutual love
Finding mutual love in life is not so easy. Many people spend their entire lives looking for it and cannot find it. But in most cases, many people met her at least once in their lives and felt an incredible feeling of love in their emotions.
Experiencing the feeling of love gives a person the acquisition of mental maturity. It is because of this that a person can wait for many years to meet true love on his way, and he will feel such an unforgettable sensation.
— You shouldn’t sit and wait with folded hands;
- Take control and act. The search will lead to the desired result;
But how to meet mutual love, based on the above factors?
1.
From birth a person feels it. Love for mother, father. Afterwards - to friends. When a person reaches adolescence, he has a feeling of falling in love with the opposite sex. Therefore, a distinction between falling in love and true love is necessary here;
2.
Don't be suspicious. Take everything easier. Of course, you will be pressured by the stereotypes that were brought up in your family. Step back from all of them. But don't overdo it. Don’t immediately hang yourself on the neck of the opposite reason, don’t be shy, but just let him know how you feel;
3.
Throw away illusions and perfect pictures. After all, life is a very complex process in which it is necessary to survive. Fantasies are inappropriate here. This is not a fairyland where everything is perfect. You must clearly decide on your chosen one. Choose a person with whom you will have something to talk about. Appearance is not the main thing, but what a person feels and perceives. A prince on a white horse is all illusory;
4.
If you want to be loved or loved, work on it yourself. And don't stop there;
5.
Be self-critical of yourself. If something doesn’t work out, perhaps the reason is you;
6.
It won’t happen that when you meet mutual love, everything will immediately be wonderful. As they say, love must be fought for;
7.
True love is the soul itself. So it’s worth working on your soul;
8.
A truly loving person not only takes everything from this feeling, but also gives. So remember this axiom;
9.
A person who is strong in spirit will overcome all obstacles;
Always be prepared for all difficulties and obstacles, and mutual love will be granted to you. The main thing is not to give up and always move forward towards your goal.
