Teenage maximalism - what it is, phases, types and advice from a psychologist

Greetings, friends!

Maximalism is a tendency to extremes, in which a person always strives to ensure that everything is done to the maximum and in the best possible way. This character trait manifests itself especially strongly in young years. Therefore, a stable combination of “youthful maximalism” was formed. Today we will analyze in detail what this character trait is, how and when it manifests itself, and also consider some practical advice for parents who want to help their children cope with this problem as quickly as possible.

Meaning

Youthful maximalism is going to extremes when demanding something excessive, asserting oneself as an individual. This manifestation of behavior is typical for the younger generation. According to scientific data, not everyone exhibits maximalism. It is formed based on the psycho-emotional state of a person and the characteristics of his temperament.

There is such a thing as children's maximalism - it is considered the earliest stage and occurs at the age of 12 years, a period when it is no longer a small child, but not an adult either. In fact, age can fluctuate due to individual characteristics. When teenage maximalism sets in, disputes arise with parents. Children believe that their parents have no competence in matters of modern youth life. They pay attention to the opinions of their peers, which subsequently leads to rash actions.

Psychological theories and schools

Youthful maximalism is a manifestation of self-sufficiency, which is associated with gradual personal development and self-determination of the individual. Like any form of transition from a normal level of life to a step with unknown rules of behavior, it is painful for all participants in the process, but necessary for the proper development of the teenager.

The school of neurobiology in psychoanalysis interprets the theory of uncontrollability in the form of the actions of a teenager who does not know how to coordinate extremes and rationality.

In all their actions, teenagers rush from one extreme to another, not because of frequent changes in priorities, but because they cannot live otherwise. If they fight, then they are completely in love.

They love the unconscious, they want to get everything from life in strictly planned quantities. In the latter case, no one is against exceeding the specified norm, but in no case does one entertain the possibility of lowering the set bar.

V. Levy in 1987 put forward an interesting theory about a child who did not want to study and constantly contradicted his parents. They tried to take care of him and love him over the edge. As a result, the child grew up, but was unable to live separately from his parents, although he really wanted to.

At this moment, the zone of turbulence (the absence of manifestations of maximalism) is displaced by the youthful and adolescent crisis. It seems to a person that he will never be able to tear himself away from his parent’s wing. He understands and realizes his carelessness, hopes for help, but cannot accept it due to his character and sense of insignificance.

Levy explains this phenomenon this way: a child will always try to leave the home where he grew up. It is common for him, like any person, to form a unit of society. But parents, in order to keep their beloved child, try to tie him to dependence on the benefits that he received next to them. To break their comfort zone, young people often run away from home.

To prevent the development of late maximalism, when a young man already knows how to think and analyze, earn money and plan part of his life, it is necessary to give an impetus.

Youthful maximalism is not as scary as parents imagine. There is a transitional age that has nothing to do with the psychology of personality development. In our time, Michael Laitman has already expressed his point of view on raising children: “While parents work and children enjoy life, grandchildren will beg.”

This saying shows relationships in the hierarchy of family relationships:

• Parents work and try to provide everything for the child.
• Children will receive everything for free. Grandchildren, children of beloved children, receive twice as much.
• The parents of their grandchildren will not be able to give what their parents gave to them and their children. As a result, the 3rd generation will become the most vulnerable when elders pamper and parents try to raise them with maximum severity.

Such children do not have a rational approach to life. In order to find it and provide yourself with independent opinions and decisions, you need to improve the status of your parents in the older generation. In any case, he will be more authoritarian, despite the fact that they have less experience and opportunities.

G. S. Hall also put forward the theory that the physiological and mental periods of puberty last differently. The theory was supported by E. Spranger, who argued that growing instability is a phenomenon of manifestations in a young organism. It was J. Rousseau who identified such criteria.

Thinking and the process of logical behavior occur in compressed forms. The theory of relative maturation was later presented by S. Büller, who became the founder of all diagnostics for identifying mental instability.

Phases of maximalism

Early

Appears between the ages of 12 and 15 years. A reshaping of consciousness occurs, and certain requirements for behavior appear. It happens that these changes can lead to the development of protests in adolescence, which can result in conflict in school.

Average

Occurs from 15 to 18 years. Guys and girls face puberty and their first unrequited love. There is a protest to the adult generation, and a desire to prove their own independence in all possible ways.

Late

The typical age period is from 18 to 22 years. There is a search for oneself in society, one’s own attitude to the surrounding reality is formed with the construction of a worldview.

From these phases it can be concluded that there is no exact answer to what age maximalism will be maintained. Everything is individual and will depend on the character, characteristics of a particular person and the factors influencing his life. For some people it may end by the age of 15, for others by 22, and there are those who will live with youthful maximalism for the rest of their lives.

Types of maximalism

Chatterbox

In the modern world, there is an abundant development of communication technologies that cause this type of maximalism, forming it even before the onset of adolescence, and may not have a final stage. Characteristic behavior manifests itself in the form of non-acceptance of generally accepted rules and ideas. The influence of this maximalism helps a teenager defend his point of view even in front of an adult, without having strong arguments. Thanks to this energy of denial, in certain cases it can lead a young man to success if his activities are related to the study of science and the application of perseverance in it.

Rationalist

The typical personality type is a pragmatist. They tend to deny what is happening around them, but such children succeed in their studies, and are often even very far ahead of their peers in development. The most important thing is that the child has the right goal and tries to move towards achieving it. This requires the right influence from the family, correction of the direction of the child’s aspirations, and a correct explanation of realistic and unrealistic goals. There is a great chance that, having matured, a person will become a businessman or a successful specialist in his field.

Don't care

It is the most common type in adolescence. An example of behavior would be a dirty trick done, an argument with a peer, disobedience to parents, and so on. Typically, this behavior occurs in a child with problems at school, in society, or in the family. Often such teenagers join radical street groups. To cope with this maximalism, a teenager needs to find a hobby in sports, where all the energy will go. If a child remains free-floating, there is a high risk that over time he will develop strong attachments to alcoholism, drug addiction, or criminality.

Diagnostics

As a rule, maximalism in a child can be recognized by a number of criteria that are noticeable to parents and the children themselves. Often the younger generation refuses to visit psychotherapists due to their inability to recognize the imperfection of personal development or its absence.

To diagnose youthful maximalism in a child, you can conduct a number of tests at home:

• E. Sprangler's test, developed in 1924, helps to establish the degree of development of imperfect motives. Because of them, a young person, deprived of life experience, is subjected to subjective motives of desire.

  

• I. Frolov developed a series of psychoanalytic tests in 1998, which helped to recognize a future maximalist in a child.
• In 2020, the Institute of Social Psychology, based on Freudian psychoanalysis, developed a modern test to determine the severity of the disease. A mental disorder can be experienced more easily, but it is necessary for the formation of an “adult” personality.

Despite the fact that such an analysis is not a diagnosis, treatment and behavior correction do exist.

Manifestation

A girl prone to maximalism differs in behavior from a guy. She could have been playing with dolls a couple of years ago, but now she suddenly realizes that the time of childhood has long passed. She displays a tough character to resist the whole world for the sake of her new ideals. The girl is filled with confidence that she can do anything. She begins to look for herself in life, begins to experiment in appearance, change clothes, makeup, hairstyles, all for the sake of the desire to appear more mature. Often, young ladies are susceptible to adopting the behavior patterns of their older friends, as a result of which they begin to try alcoholic beverages, smoking and sex early. The problem is that the psyche has not yet fully formed and such behavior can cause serious psychological trauma.

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Characteristic features of teenagers with maximalism:

• Testing family foundations for strength. The parents are analyzed and what principles they live by. Basically, this occurs through generational conflicts that arise.
• There is a search for ideals.
• Selfishness develops. Always and in everything, “I” comes first; other people’s feelings and experiences are not perceived. Requests for help may be ignored or provoke an aggressive reaction, even towards loved ones.
• Ultimateism. If the desired goal is not achieved or not received, the teenager can put forward ultimatums and resort to blackmail to achieve the desired goals. An example would be refusing to complete homework until he plays video games.
• Extreme beliefs. All judgments are focused on extremes and categoricalness.
• Strong response to criticism. There is a great desire to feel approval and an undeveloped ability to adequately perceive criticism addressed to oneself.
• Feeling of adulthood. The child directly points out to the older generation about the wrong way of life in the modern world.
• Obsession. Usually it results in a strong passion for a person or something else that reaches critical proportions. An example would be a guy sitting for hours on end in an online game or a girl with her head in the clouds with thoughts about the young man she likes.

Management methods

There are several recommendations from psychologists and psychotherapists that will help you survive the syndrome of youthful maximalism in real life.

Method of self-realization - alienation

Youthful maximalism is not a mandatory or hereditary factor, but a physiological phenomenon that every person faces. Time helps fight maximalism.

With life experience comes an understanding of the imperfections of the world and oneself, so the level of demands gradually decreases, and relationships with people develop in a more loyal format. When the thyroid gland is working in an unstable mode, aggression is not surprising - hormonal surges can also turn a “sheep into a hyena.”

But in addition to physiological reasons, the unpleasant factor has a social background:

• Tense atmosphere in the family: fear of punishment for a bad grade, inadequate parent. Life in luxury or, conversely, in poverty. In the first case, the teenager is not afraid of punishment for any deviations in behavior; in the second, he takes revenge on others for the inconvenience caused. Fearing that he will find himself in the role of a victim, he forces him to join the ranks of his tormentors so as not to stand out among them and not attract attention.
• Tips for parents. We need to look for the root cause of aggression. If sadistic tendencies are detected, be sure to consult a psychologist. Under more favorable circumstances, it should be taken into account that the solution to problems can be determined by a personal attitude - understanding.
• The principles of learning are changing. Correction of the way of communication between adults and adolescents. You need to understand that before your parents there is a growing person who has not yet fully defined the boundaries of his personal ambitions, but is ideally trying to overcome them.

The desire to cause indirect and direct harm to oneself develops on the basis of hidden conflicting emotions that, for some reason, the teenager does not want to demonstrate to the outside world. For example, a child is angry with his parents, but is afraid to openly express this to them, fearing serious punishment or not wanting to offend his beloved father or mother.

In order for a growing young man to understand his actions and answer without fear for his thoughts and actions, he must be given the will to speak out. To do this, from early childhood you should allow the child to explore the world, give vent to emotions, and not shout for disobedience and use force for disobedience.

Typical radical auto-aggression:

• suicide attempt;
• tattoos;
• scarification;
• refusal of entertainment, food.

  

Disguised auto-aggression:

• substance abuse;
• smoking;
• alcoholism;
• joining a sect;
• walking through dangerous places, the desire to conquer skyscrapers.

Subculture is a special part of the behavior of people who think in ways that adults do not think. Such a mental protest can be changed if you take the side of the opposition, agreeing to visit restricted areas, allowing alcohol, but within the confines of the house.

Youthful maximalism can be overcome if this phenomenon can be provoked by the need to unite people with non-standard interests. It manifests itself when personal ties with loved ones are severed, whose authority has recently been significant.

Preserving the possibility of full dialogue between parents and teenagers is the best prevention of complete immersion in life according to the traditions valued in the new team. Adolescence is not easy, but the chances of successfully navigating this “minefield” are very high if every step is taken with wide eyes and love in your heart.

Providing conditions for real victories

The reason for the appearance of maximalism lies in parental care and imperfection. The fear that the child will become a poor student or a failure in life is the personal fears and grievances of the parents.

To eliminate the possibility of developing a mental disorder, you need to prepare for the syndrome in advance, being close to the child:

• eliminate all attempts at punishment;
• eliminate the possibility of a scandal for losses (grades, tests, sports);
• support in all situations, without comparing with anyone;
• remember yourself at his age and show your report card;
• accept the growing organism based on personal experience.

All adults were children, but the attitude of parents towards adult children does not allow young parents to be or not to be the same in relation to their child. If a teenager behaves differently than a parent at the same age, this does not mean that the upbringing is bad, or that the child “does not understand who he is like.” Genetics does not connect the behavioral factor due to the evolution of development.

Unfortunately, there are no other ways to survive or anticipate the onset of youthful maximalism. This is a traditional and physiological change that manifests itself in different ways. Some experience it in confusion, while other children experience it in aggression. Depending on the upbringing and composure of adults, the child will be able to truly appreciate his personal achievements and abilities in the future.

Consequences

Psychology contains the final stages of youthful maximalism when refusing help:

• Joining a sect. During adolescence or with severe emotional overload, a child may be under the influence of false preachers. A similar picture often occurs when a child has serious problems in the family or in communicating with peers.
• Antisocial behavior. Wanting to prove their fearlessness, teenagers go beyond the law. Boys who are in bad company are asked to undergo an initiation rite, where they are required to commit theft or beat someone up and the like.
• Drug addiction and substance abuse. Usually begins with simply smoking weed or snorting glue in a plastic bag, later moving on to harder drugs. This happens due to an unformed psyche, since curiosity still takes over the mind. Children often follow the proposed persuasion to get pleasure.
• Dysmorphophobia. The child is prone to dissatisfaction with his appearance and tries to eliminate flaws in various ways. Girls are prone to excessive dieting, which results in anorexia. Later they become interested in plastic surgery. Guys resort to getting tattoos or piercings.
• Alcoholism. The first attempts at alcohol at a young age occur out of curiosity or argument. Curiosity arises from frequent observation of adults or, perhaps, children’s peers drinking alcoholic beverages. In order to keep up with everyone else, the child also begins to try alcohol.

Psychologist's advice

Parents should pay attention to these recommendations so that their child matures and maintains a healthy psyche.

Provocation

If a child thinks that peers are unworthy of attention, you should not contradict him. After his similar thoughts, protest to the child when communicating with his friends, because following his thoughts, they are unworthy of communicating with him. The teenager will face internal protest and will want to go against the judgment of his parents. As a result, communication with peers will resume.

Formation of critical thinking

When you have a healthy assessment of your own strengths, you do not impose your own conclusions. Parents are tasked with influencing the development of independent analysis of their child’s own actions, without paying attention to other people’s opinions.

On the contrary

Stop coddling your child and have a frank and adult conversation. He needs to understand that you consider him an adult, and being an adult means having obligations that require fulfillment.

Psychological impact

If you discover that your child is not in the best company, you should resort to the following actions. The example is controversial, but in some cases it works. When you go to an interesting and entertaining place with the whole family, you leave the rebel at home. The argument is that he is employed in a new company and maintains other interests.

How to deal with youthful maximalism

Such reactions are not pathology or a dangerous disease. However, both the smallest individual and his family need to control this process.

Advice for teenagers on social behavior

Adults are required to coordinate their actions in any situation. Therefore, those children who consider themselves accomplished individuals must adhere to the following rules:

• Introspection
  . Every self-respecting person should clearly understand for herself what exactly prevents her from fully enjoying life. The struggle for your place in the sun prevents you from experiencing all the delights of childhood and adolescence, which will never return. By imposing your point of view on adults and friends, you can ultimately lose your own “I”.
• Self-control
  . You cannot justify your aggressive behavior with such concepts as temperamental properties and youthful maximalism. A strong personality will never allow himself to commit uncivilized acts in society.
• Respect for people
  . You should always treat all members of society in such a way that you do not feel the same aggression in return. Over time, you can remain in splendid isolation if you torment your immediate environment with nagging, criticism and disregard for human feelings.
• Work on yourself
  . To prevent negative thoughts from entering your consciousness, you need to engage in self-realization. Making a scandal and getting into a pose will be problematic in terms of time if you enroll in any section or circle.
• The ability to say “no”
  . Adults are not always kind to teenagers. Some antisocial individuals try to make money from children's destinies, mercilessly breaking them. It is necessary to strictly suppress these attempts, turning to family and friends for help if necessary.

Recommendations for parents of a rebellious child

It is at this age that the older generation of the family must understand that they can lose control over their son or daughter at any moment.
Psychologists advise to calm down your inner indignation about their child’s behavior and behave as follows:

1. Method "by contradiction"
   . Instead of spending hours reading morality, you need to talk frankly with your children who exhibit youthful maximalism. It should be made clear to them that their apparent maturation is accepted by family members. However, during the conversation, it is necessary to remind the little rebel that he has entered a world that requires him to fulfill certain obligations.
2. Provocation
   . If a teenager considers his peers unworthy of attention, he must agree with this. In this case, you should categorically prohibit your son or daughter from communicating with classmates after the end of the educational process. In this case, the child will develop a feeling of internal protest, which will lead him to the desire to spite the adults. The conflict will be resolved with minimal losses on both sides.
3. Psychological impact
   . If a teenager is addicted to visiting a company that seems dysfunctional to his parents, then you can try to rein him in by refusing. Every child has a place that he dreams of visiting. The whole family should go to those surroundings and not invite a rebellious person with them. In a calm tone, it is necessary to explain to the child that from now on this will always happen, because due to excessive communication with friends, he has no time to go on trips to interesting places.
4. Nurturing critical thinking
   . A person who can sensibly assess his own strengths will never impose his opinion on others. It is necessary to teach your child to analyze his own actions without projecting them onto the mistakes of others.
5. Expansion of the intellectual base
   . Children will have no time to engage in nonsense and rowdy behavior if they are constantly directed in the right direction. Reading relevant literature together and attending educational events will not only help the family unite, but will also enable the child to learn to control feelings with the mind.