It often happens that after a divorce, the ex-husband suddenly tries to return everything back and asks to return. But is it worth taking it? Why is he doing this? Our article will tell you.
As a rule, when a man and a woman get divorced, each of them has questions about what happened between them. Yes, undoubtedly, breaking up is always very difficult, but sometimes situations arise when you have to decide whether it’s worth getting the relationship back? Will this be right? How to behave correctly and not make mistakes when your ex-husband wants everything back?
Naive male psychology
Men who decide to get a divorce believe that they can live just fine without their wife. However, this can be doubted. Statistics show that only a small part of the stronger sex gets divorced for good reason and then builds their lives further. The other part just wants to prove something - youth, success, attractiveness. Men go through three main stages after divorce.
- At the first stage, he is a male, completely confident in himself. I want to conquer the highest peaks and meet beautiful girls. Now the representative of the stronger sex does not regret the divorce.
- At the second stage, the man calms down a little. He no longer wants sexual pleasures from strangers, he just wants to relax for his own pleasure.
- At the third stage, understanding and awareness of what has been done occurs. A man regrets leaving his wife and understands that he wants to restore the relationship after the breakup and get back together with her. There is also an understanding that he is no longer as young and full of strength as he thought.
Statistics show that most men return to their family after the third stage. At least they want to do it.
In the future, everything will depend on whether the woman accepts her husband again and agrees to forgive him.
How to treat the return of a spouse if you have minor children?
For a wife whose husband left the family with minor children without full moral and financial support, the return of her unfaithful husband in most cases is regarded as a return to the family of the father and breadwinner.
At the same time, most women are ready to push their own experiences into the background or completely forget about them. After all, no one wants to raise children on their own, without full financial support and the firm word of the father.
Children are still not a guarantee that a woman will be ready to make a truce and swallow her resentment.
Reasons why a man leaves
Most often, the initiator of divorce is the representative of the stronger sex. There comes a time when he is already tired of everything, it seems that he himself is better off coping with all the problems. Then men take a drastic decision - divorce. The main thing is that they do not yet realize their action and do not understand whether it will make them worse or better.
So, why does the husband leave the family?
- The main reason why a husband leaves the family is that he finds another woman. Representatives of the stronger sex love attention to themselves. Therefore, if the wife has relaxed a little, and a lady appears on the horizon who flirts with him, this is a problem.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. Representatives of the male half of humanity need sexual intercourse more than women. When a married couple forgets about their intimate life, the man will look for it on the side, and then divorce is not far away.
- The desire to become free. Many men believe that marriage is a “cage”; they want to get out of it and find freedom.
- After several years of living together, life, children and other household problems become boring. Sometimes a man just wants to take a break from it all, but doesn't think about the consequences.
- Of course, sometimes a representative of the stronger sex can initiate a divorce after his wife cheats or because the relationship does not work out. Constant quarrels and scandals do not decorate a marriage.
What do children think
When parents divorce, most of all those around them feel sorry for the child. After all, now he will have to live without his dad. Even if the father is present in the life of his child, it will not be constantly as before. Of course, young children cannot answer a complex question, but teenagers find the answer. They believe that the father leaves the family because of them, and returns back also because of them. Children are selfish, and this is quite normal. Their universe revolves around family, and when things go wrong, they may blame themselves.
Chances of reconciliation
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Men very often return to their family after a divorce, statistics prove this. However, when this happens depends on the reasons why the marriage broke up.
- When a husband’s separation from his wife occurred because he decided to leave for another, the woman can expect reconciliation. A man in such a situation does not think whether his mistress needs him as a permanent partner. Most often, ladies looking for married representatives of the stronger sex only need money from them.
- If the husband decides to leave the family due to his insolvency, you need to give him time. The stronger sex is very confident in itself, so when its representatives realize that they are not able to support a woman financially, they simply leave, without thinking about the consequences. Only after a while the mistakes are realized, but the wife can decide whether to forgive her husband or not.
- The husband returns because he feels sorry for his ex-wife. He sees how she suffers, how she cannot get out of depression. It is almost impossible to restore the previous relationship after reconciliation in such a situation.
- Did your spouse want a breath of freedom and leave? Statistics show that such individuals return the fastest. However, a woman should think about whether she should forgive her husband, because there is no guarantee that one day he will not “get tired” again.
Is it worth accepting an ex-partner who has returned from his mistress/lover?
This is a personal matter for everyone. If you are initially focused on restoring the relationship and are ready to forget about this unpleasant situation and your grievances forever, you can try.
But, as practice shows, not everyone is able to forgive an unfaithful soulmate, and the pain comes to the surface at the first conflict situation.
Therefore, before accepting an ex-spouse who cheated on you, be sure to weigh the pros and cons and evaluate your own strengths. If you are unable to forget everything you have experienced, it is better to spend time and energy on a relationship with a new person with whom you do not have common unpleasant memories.
When will my husband return?
Women have a very difficult time when a marriage breaks up. Why this happens is not difficult to understand. They put so much effort into him, pour their soul into him, but the husband simply leaves, sometimes without explanation. Whether he will return or not is a question that gnaws at the fair sex. As it has already turned out, this is what happens, only not immediately, but after some time.
- If the husband left for his mistress, the first time will be very good for him. He will receive affection, care, a rich intimate life. Later the euphoria wears off. The man regrets leaving and dreams that he and his wife will get back together. There is an awareness that in a relationship there is something more valuable than intimacy and money - mutual respect and understanding.
- If the marriage broke up simply because the husband wanted freedom, it will take more time. Men should live on their own for some time, learn all the intricacies of everyday life. You have to do your own laundry, clean up after yourself, and prepare food. After some time, the husband will understand that he lacks the comfort that his wife created. Only then will he try to do something to restore the family.
- It often happens that a woman initiates a divorce. There can be many reasons why this happens - a husband’s betrayal, another man, a desire to build a life differently. The union can be restored if the couple loves each other and both realize their mistakes. It is important to understand that a marriage breaks up not through the fault of one person, the problem is hidden in both.
What to do as a woman
The marriage broke up. Women experience this much harder than men. Representatives of the fairer sex become depressed and try to understand why this happened. There is no need to look for reasons, you just need to wait a little time. Why? If a woman really wants to achieve reconciliation so that she and her husband can get back together, she needs to behave correctly. There are several basic tips that are recommended to be followed.
- Self-respect should always be there. If you see that a man feels sorry for you, nothing can be worse than this. The husband must see in his wife a self-sufficient and strong-willed person, otherwise the marriage cannot be returned.
- After the dissolution of the union, try to change a little not only internally, but also externally. When you see yourself with a new haircut, hair color, and a new wardrobe, it will cheer you up and help you cope with depression.
- In the case when a wife wants to achieve reconciliation with her husband, she should not put pressure on him. Obsessiveness is a very bad quality.
- Don’t look for the fault of the breakup in yourself; perhaps you just didn’t get along in character.
- There is no need to do anything that will harm your ex-spouse. Jealousy, anger and the desire for revenge are very bad. That's how men don't come back.
- When you have mutual acquaintances with your ex-spouse, you can use them for your own purposes. The main thing is to do everything quietly and unobtrusively. You can hint to them that you feel good, that you are not suffering or worried.
- Never think about why the union broke up. Draw conclusions for yourself, look not only for your spouse’s mistakes, but also for your own.
- If you decide to forgive your husband, if you get back together with him, start all over from scratch. Don't ask why he left or why he decided to return. If you stir up the past, you can ruin everything.
Men very often return to their ex-wives after separation. In such cases, it is very important for women not to draw hasty conclusions and think carefully about whether they can forgive their spouse. Sometimes a lady “throws herself on a man’s neck without looking,” and only later realizes that she was unable to let go of the offense. Before you make peace, understand whether you trust your ex-spouse and whether you have forgiven the betrayal. If this is not the case, there is no point in taking a step forward. Why? It will just end in another breakup, quarrels and scandals.
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Do husbands return to their families after divorce?
Women believe that men love comfort too much. It is this fact, in their opinion, that plays a decisive role in the question of why men return to their ex-wives. After 10 years, the habit of coming home and resting is developed. It’s hard to imagine that there won’t be a hot dinner, washed floors and clean laundry waiting at home.
But men face a harsh reality when they leave their family. Wives, of course, understand that their husbands will be able to fry dumplings or cook sausages on their own, that is, they will not die of hunger. But after the gastronomic delights that your beloved woman spoiled you with, you simply won’t want to eat dumplings.
Girls who broke up their family and attracted their loved one to themselves do not think that he will leave if he is not surrounded by comfort. The main reason why men return to their ex-wives, mistresses say, is the lack of emotional connection and common habits. Any representative of the stronger sex, while living with his family, gets used to a certain state of affairs.
For example, it goes without saying that his wife fries him pancakes in the morning. He, of course, can do without them, but many have already formed a habit of this delicious breakfast. Or, walking down the street in a good mood, a man begins to sing loudly. This confuses my mistress, but my ex-wife thought it was quite cute.
We have already looked at the problem from different angles. It remains to find out the opinion of the men themselves. Of course, not all representatives of the stronger sex are romantics, but still many of them call love the main reason. Husbands say that being away from their wives they were able to understand that they didn’t need anyone except her. Yes, of course, their beloved is not ideal, and there were many disagreements in the marriage, but she is one of their own, dear.
Do men often return to their ex-wives? Definitely yes. The representatives of the stronger sex themselves do not really like to discuss the reason for their return. After all, a wife is unlikely to be able to truly forgive her husband for running away. After returning, the man will find himself in his familiar environment, and at first he will enjoy the idyll. How long it will last will depend only on the husband and wife.
The desire to return to the family depends on what kind of relationship the spouses had and what the reasons for the divorce were. In a male environment, returning to your ex-wife is not considered a cause for pride.
However, a large number of men return to their ex-wives. There can be many reasons, the most common of which are a lack of past comfort, love, or awareness of past mistakes.
Do husbands return after divorce? Of course, some people prefer to cut ties once and for all. Men can return after a divorce; the timing depends on the reasons that influenced their departure. For example, a crisis inevitably sets in in a relationship with a mistress; the prospect of staying with her no longer seems so wonderful. The man begins to think about his wife, with whom it was so good.
It's not easy to explain another person's behavior. Common reasons for men returning:
- Lack of interest in other representatives of the fair sex. Men do not tolerate loneliness. The ex-wife turns out to be the only person who needed him.
- Rethinking conflict. The reasons for divorce are often violent quarrels that lead to hasty and wrong decisions. Time passed, and the man realized that he was wrong.
- Common children, worries, affairs, meetings - joint activities unite.
- Love. Sometimes it's enough to be apart a little to understand how dear a person is.
- Error correction. The reason for divorce could be the man's financial insolvency, which did not suit the woman. Having eliminated this factor, the man wants to return the relationship.
- The attractiveness of the ex-wife. Women prefer shopping and changing their image as psychotherapy. It's no wonder that many ladies become even more beautiful after a breakup. The ex-husband will be one of the first to appreciate the changes.
- Ex-wife has a new man. Jealousy is an effective driver, and the strong half of humanity are owners by nature. Getting your ex-woman back becomes a matter of honor.