It's quite a difficult problem, figuring out how to choose between two men. Some women don't even have one man to "choose". So consider yourself lucky with your options.
The conundrum that dating presents is that you can chat or date multiple men at the same time. The idea is that you don't become too emotionally invested in men. Especially because you have to assume he's dating others too. And you have the opportunity to meet several men at the same time, so that you can find exactly the one you need.
The problem is that you are left with a difficult decision to make. And of course you don't want to hurt any of them.
In this article we will help you learn how to make a choice between two men.
At the end of the article you will find a secret bonus video on how to make a choice between two men
When is it really necessary to make a choice?
It is not always necessary to choose one of two men. For example, a girl at school may decide to go to a cafe today with one boy and tomorrow with another. While studying at college or university, a girl can maintain friendly relationships and flirt with two guys at the same time.
But when real feelings arise, the question of starting a family arises, then you have to choose. Love is only for two, there is no place for a third. And no matter how difficult the decision is, only two options for the development of the situation are possible: the girl will remain with one of the guys or will not build a relationship with anyone at all.
At an early stage, the matter will most likely end only in an unpleasant conversation with the man whom she decided to refuse. After all, the obligations are minimal, promises of fidelity have not yet been made, plans for a joint future have not been made.
But playing with strong feelings can turn into a real tragedy. A striking example of strong love for two men at the same time with a tragic ending is described in the novel by J. London “The Little Mistress of the Big House.” The main character's wife committed suicide because she could not make a choice between two men dear to her.
Delaying the choice will not help, but will only worsen the situation. This may lead to the fact that there will be no one to choose from. Both guys will get tired of a woman who rushes around and give up the idea of conquering her.
It is better to implement the decision taken gently but decisively. A firm refusal to one of the guys will save him from unnecessary pain, and the winner will not be tormented by painful doubts (if he knew about his opponent). If the chosen man is suspicious of the choice, then the woman will have to demonstrate her love. You can read how to do this in the article “How to prove to a guy that you love him - actions convince a man of love stronger than words.”
If the guys do not know about each other, then every effort must be made to keep the secret. Otherwise:
- both guys can throw;
- a real struggle for the heart of a beloved woman may unfold with unpredictable consequences;
- if everything is resolved peacefully, then memories of an unpleasant situation with a choice can spoil the relationship over time - a man will not be able to forgive the presence of a second lover for the woman he loves.
Always play to the potential of the situation
All things and phenomena originate in Non-Existence, where the Primordial nature is rooted. At the moment of origin, everything has weakly expressed characteristics that are easy to direct in the right direction, easy to change or dissolve. By acting at this stage, we will make the most of our current capabilities, whatever they may be!
Our selfish desires force us to fight what has already manifested itself, the way we want to get what we want here and now. It also makes us strive for profit and luck, which is contrary to the law of Harmony. The fact is that while achieving maximum benefit, luck and happiness, we inevitably encounter the Universal mechanism, which restores the balance of Yin and Yang (Harmony) and brings the situation to the middle. And this means that we lose some of the results achieved, we begin to struggle with this process, we suffer and can lose everything.
Taoist masters try to avoid failure, and this is how they achieve success. They cultivate benefits and remove harm, and thus receive benefits. In other words, they influence the potential of the situation!
Lao Tzu gives an example: if you want to catch a bird, plant a tree. By doing this, we benefit the world because another tree appears in it. Birds themselves fly to the tree to build nests and eat its fruits or catch insects on it. And we catch them easily. Ultimately, we cultivate Unity because we do something useful for the world. We use Non-Action, since at first we do not have a bird and the potential of the situation is that the bird will fly to where we are. We plant a tree and thereby cultivate the hidden potential of a situation in which the birds themselves fly to us. At the same time, we rely on the natural mechanisms of nature and use the power of the instincts of birds that live in trees. We also restore Harmony by cultivating benefits (Yang) and removing harm (Yin): first we give housing, food and the opportunity to reproduce, and then we take.
A selfish man takes a gun and goes into the forest to shoot birds. He brainstorms, coming up with cunning plans to catch them, such as a whistle that makes duck sounds and attracts drakes. Thus, he harms the world, but does not provide any benefit, violating Harmony. He exhausts his strength running through the forests, feels dissatisfied if he doesn’t shoot anything, harming his health. And most importantly, he violates Unity, separating himself from the world and not understanding that by bringing harm to the world, he also harms himself, since he is part of this very world. By doing this and achieving success, he perpetuates his selfish delusions and emotional obscurations of the heart, and becomes blind in such situations.
This example is somewhat outdated since we no longer depend on hunting and our lives have changed a lot since the time of Lao Tzu. But you can apply this example to your own work when you start demanding something from colleagues, suppliers or clients. Instead of doing something so that people themselves will do what you want, like birds that fly to a tree of their own free will, we most often use violence and cunning to force them to do what we want and benefit us.
And all because it seems to us that struggle and direct influence on the current moment is the fastest way to get what we want. We are simply not aware of the harm that we cultivate in this way. And it, accumulating, either prevents us from achieving what we want, or later destroys everything we have achieved.
The benefit itself accumulates where the benefit is actively demonstrated. Where benefits actively accumulate, harm also accumulates along with it. Therefore, if you want to get something, you should remove the harm that has not yet manifested itself and cultivate the benefit while it is small. And if you want to get rid of something, you should let it grow, then it will begin to fade on its own. And while it is growing, you can form the new one that will replace it.
For example, when getting rid of a bad habit, you should not fight it, but rather cultivate a new useful habit. For example, instead of fighting smoking, start practicing Taoist practices
