Getting rejected is a normal part of dating that everyone experiences at some point. While you may feel incredibly hurt or embarrassed after this happens, there are a number of things you can do to overcome your rejection and get back into the dating game. So, what should you do if a girl refuses?
Deal with Rejection3
In most cases, romantic rejection is not a criticism of your character. If a girl decides she doesn't want to date you, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you or finds you unattractive.
There is no need to immediately search the Internet in search of an answer to the question “what to do if a girl refuses.” Don't do anything. That's it. Do not call. Do not write. Don't ask what you did wrong. Don't talk to her friends or family, and for the love of God, don't write a vague, suggestive message about her on Facebook or Instagram and hope she sees it.
Because she will almost certainly interpret this as a desperate sign that you can't get over this rejection. Girls, whether they admit it or not, hate the feeling of men being too attached to them.
Also, remember that there are many reasons why she might say no that have nothing to do with you, such as: she's too busy to date; she has a different sexual orientation; she is working on personal or emotional problems; she already has a soul mate; she likes to be alone.
Be kind to your crush, even if you feel awkward. If she's someone you see often, then it's normal to feel a little awkward after rejection. Over time, you will cool down and your normal friendship may resume. Until then, try to be as polite to her as you can.
Root causes and prerequisites
To understand why a girl left you, you need to establish the reasons and motives driving her.
These reasons are very common: an accidental quarrel, constant jealousy, mistrust, paid too little attention, etc. There are also problems of a physiological nature: the height, face, figure, or even worse - dissatisfaction in sex. Don’t forget the financial component, because many girls often give priority to the wealthiest men. We will consider all aspects, but we will focus on the psychological component. The girl's motives for leaving you are as predictable as the reasons: she doesn't feel good around you, so she's looking for a replacement. She lacks attention and affection. She does not feel protected, while with others she is much calmer. Perhaps you are not providing her financially enough.
The reason for separation can be not only a specific act or unexpected circumstances. The idea of leaving your life partner does not come overnight. This is a long process, and the idea of breaking up matures over a certain period of time, during which the man, with his actions, words and even thoughts (and they feel everything) provokes people to get rid of him.
Girls hint to us about our mistakes by making comments: “You’ve lost interest in me,” “I don’t have enough attention,” “We haven’t gone out for a long time to unwind,” “You’re too jealous,” etc. Often no one responds to these statements pays attention, blaming it on “periods” or, even worse, an eternally dissatisfied female essence. But now, when the girl no longer makes any comments, when she has nothing to do with you at all and ignores you in every possible way, it is worth thinking about her words, which under the given circumstances have become of high value, in order to understand her mistakes and understand how to get her back.
To justify the weak half of humanity, I would like to say that they are driven not only by social foundations, but, above all, by instincts. A woman primarily cares about her offspring and her own well-being. Think for yourself, because in the wild, a female of any species of animal continues her race only with the male who has proven his superiority over other contenders. Males, intoxicated by the instinct of reproduction, fight in mortal battles, dance, sing for the sake of recognition by the female. And such arthropods as spiders and praying mantises generally give their lives to their “beloved” in the name of procreation. So women demand the same from men, so that we devote our lives to them. But in order not to lose our own dignity, we will keep our lives to ourselves, and we will be able to tame women’s ardor.
Refusal is a reason to increase self-esteem4
Guys often become depressed and give up after girls refuse simply because they have low self-esteem. Refusal can become an impetus both for the development of self-doubt and for raising self-esteem. Everyone chooses what they like.
The most useful thing is to analyze your own mistakes. It is better to focus your energy on thinking about the wrong actions you have taken, so as not to repeat them in the future. There is a type of people who strive with all their might to achieve a certain goal, but as soon as they do not achieve it, they become desperate. A guy who knows how to lose won't waste his time bemoaning rejection, but rather will try again. And the one who does not know how to lose will waste all his energy on complaints and whining, often setting barriers for himself that do not allow him to act further.
Obviously, any whining person who gives up after failing to achieve what they want simply does not know how to lose with dignity. In this case, it is not even possible to call it a defeat, because life does not take away a person’s chance to try again to achieve the goal. However, loss comes when a person stops, does not analyze his mistakes and thoughts, and gives up. It is as if he gives in to difficulties, submits to them, and does not think about his erroneous actions and does not look for paths that could lead him to his desired goal.
How to behave if a girl ignores you
You need to calm down and put the relationship on pause. This time will be enough to comprehend the situation. The guy must decide whether he is ready to return his beloved and make amends. If yes, then it is necessary to analyze communication with your chosen one. To do this, you need to remember how she reacted and draw conclusions.
READ How to make peace with a friend: advice from psychologists and an action plan
Responsibility and determination are the main weapons of any young man. The opposite sex appreciates and loves these qualities. A woman will never take the initiative, since she is used to seeing it from a man. In such a situation, you need to take the initiative and talk to your loved one. If she doesn’t make contact, you shouldn’t humiliate yourself in front of her. When a woman truly loves her man, she will never leave him.
Psychologists recommend analyzing your mistakes in communication, identifying shortcomings and developing strengths. This will help the man avoid problems with his chosen one in the future. As soon as the young man has worked on himself, he can begin to take action.
Life goes on5
If a girl decides you're not right for her, you can look at it as an experience rather than a reason to sit in your room writing existential poetry and wondering, "What's wrong with me?"
So stop lying around and put away the Nicholas Sparks movies you were planning to watch.
Yes, you were rejected, and that's not a bad thing! Look around you: there's a whole world out there for you to conquer, so go and transform yourself like Tony Stark building a stronger Iron Man after his old one was torn to pieces.
Do what interests you. If that's not enough to distract you, try setting a personal goal. The busier you are, the easier it will be for you to cope with rejection.
Rejection is a chance to rebuild and make yourself even more whole and complete for the next girl who comes your way.
Summarize
Any separation is a good reason to take a critical look at your shortcomings, not only for the sake of your beloved, but also for yourself in the first place.
This is a reason to change your life, raise it to a qualitatively new level. Please note, it is quite possible that you will have to be not yourself, but the man that the woman wants to see. In this case, you risk losing yourself as an individual.
Therefore, think carefully about whether it is worth your expended vitality and energy. You have transformed, changed for the better, if only the girl would pay attention to you again. But maybe now she’s not worthy of you at all?
Rubtsova Nina · 01 Jan, 2020
Narrow range of interests
“I don’t want to meet anyone” is the favorite “excuse” of people who do not want to leave their home and, instead of communicating with others, prefer watching TV series or computer games. If you understand that your circle of acquaintances is incredibly narrow, then change this situation. Go out to social events more often, join a club that suits your interests, or meet people on the street. Don't be afraid to try something new. You need to come out of your cocoon and not be afraid of real life. This is the only way you will understand what a wonderful world you live in.
Childhood trauma
The roots of most psychological problems should be sought in childhood. Why does a person become unsociable? A person who does not like to be in society may experience many complexes imposed by his parents. Even in adult life, a person cannot always cope with suggestions that have taken root in the mind. If your mother told you as a child that you were a naughty child and no one would love you, you could remember this phrase and take it literally. Your mother may have instilled in you an inferiority complex, for example due to incoherent speech. Parents who have missed the correct production of sounds in their child can make their child inferior and, moreover, complex. Remember all the complexes that your parents imposed on you. And then try to create new, positive psychological attitudes. Psychological work can help eliminate your communication problems and make you a happier, more fulfilled person.
Shyness
Have you repeatedly said publicly: “I don’t want to date anyone”? Think about the real reason for your reluctance. People often lie not only to others, but even to themselves. If you are a modest person with low self-esteem, it is easier for you to say that you do not need a soulmate than to get off the couch and go look for the right person. Remember that nothing comes easy to a person. To meet a good person, you will need to put in a lot of effort. But don’t worry, all your shyness will disappear if you just try. Once you meet interesting people, you will get a taste for it. Having learned to communicate normally with others, you will not have problems making new acquaintances or finding a soul mate.
Last chance6
The smell of despair is not the best perfume. Both girls and guys who hang themselves with the opposite sex look equally pathetic and asexual.
Solution to the problem: Don’t go to extremes - approach girls, get to know them, take the initiative. Throwing tantrums at a new acquaintance and limiting her freedom is the best chance to go on a trip.
Walking erotic - that’s what aesthetes seem to say about the three-letter message?
Expert advice
When the task of finding out about her mood is completed, it is important not to complicate the situation. Psychologists recommend adhering to the basic rules:
- When speaking, use a guilty and serious tone. There should be no jokes, counterclaims or vulgar hints.
- If a girl does not make contact, you need to be patient and let her know about it. A guy who is willing to wait until his beloved calms down receives forgiveness faster.
- It is not advisable to give up right away. At the first failures, it is useful to wait a couple of days and try to meet again.
- You cannot respond to silence with silence, since counter-ignoring will lead to a final break.
Psychologists advise rectifying the situation - fulfilling an unfulfilled promise or showing more attention to the chosen one.
If you are constantly ignored and manipulated, you should think about continuing a toxic relationship. A girl for whom a romantic relationship is a reason to control a guy will never change. In the future, the man’s life will be seriously complicated due to constant nagging, whims and silence.
They have nowhere to find you3
Girls might want to meet you, but they don’t know about your existence.
Stupid girls have no idea that their destiny is sitting at home right now. He is sad, drinks beer and thinks about his loneliness. So they should find you themselves, conquer you and take you under their wing? No, he crushed the feminine gender, crushed it.
Solution to the problem: You will have to take everything into your own hands, since there is no hope for the girls. Help them conquer themselves - show up in public more often.
Having previously taken care of your figure, hairstyle, clothes and shoes, remember?
