What to do if your husband doesn’t want his wife: 8 reasons and 6 tips from a psychologist

Reasons

First of all, you need to realize that you are living your life, and no one will give you the opportunity to repeat it. Scientists have long proven the fact that violence that occurs morally causes much more harm than physical violence. Moral violence occurs when a man yells at you, insults you, tries to verbally humiliate you in front of your children, and so on. Hidden manifestations of insults are also possible. When the words themselves seem harmless, but the intonation with which they were spoken and the accompanying gestures showed aggression.

In fact, many women go through domestic violence where they wonder. Why does my husband beat and insult me? Psychology assures that the reason for this behavior is not the girl. The reason lies in the mental moment of the man himself. To cope with the situation, you need to understand what his behavior is: out of love or he is simply defending his rights. If you can’t cope on your own, it is best to seek help from specialists in the field of psychology.

Male aggression can manifest itself in different circumstances:

• The impact on the psyche of drugs or alcohol containing drugs.
• It appears when there is solitude with your spouse.
• When completely sober and adequate at first glance.
• It can manifest itself in the presence of strangers, including children.

Routine and life

The main reason why a husband does not want a wife is a monotonous and boring life. Of course, before officially entering into marriage, both a man and a woman must clearly understand what awaits them in the future. However, a wedding and family ties are not a reason to get rid of romance, forget about compliments and stop giving gifts, even the most symbolic ones.

Work, minor quarrels, shifting responsibilities, judgment, lack of compromise, household chores and helping parents - this is everyday life that gradually eats up relationships within the family, filling them only with hatred for each other and resentment.

Remember the first months of any relationship - while the spark is happening, couples kiss every second, giggle sweetly, satisfy each other at any convenient moment. This spark must be maintained by realizing simple truths:

• The floors cannot be washed every day, however, like the dishes;
• sometimes you can do without a fur coat, but spend an extra weekend with your loved one;
• you should not demand from a man what you yourself do not give (attention, gifts);
• no need to exchange sexy clothes for old T-shirts with small holes, which are embarrassing to wear even during repairs.

These banal facts show the true reason why a husband does not want his wife and is not attracted to her - everyday life is killing your relationship.

Reasons for inappropriate behavior

There are 7 reasons underlying insults to your girlfriend:

Reason one

This kind of behavior is normal for him. As a boy, he could observe a similar attitude towards women from his father. Where he beat, insulted, and abused the child’s mother in every possible way. What happens differently is difficult for him to accept.

Reason two

Complexity, low self-esteem and inferiority. The man was unable to form in his time and is now filled with various complexes and fears. Because of this, he tries to assert himself in his superiority over his wife. What gives him a feeling of completeness is that he threw out a dirty word, and it was swallowed.

Reason three

Psychological overload. Men are not used to sharing and talking about their difficulties; they try to overcome everything on their own so as not to appear weak in the eyes of others. Especially in the eyes of the girl you love. But when he constantly suppresses all this in himself. Sooner or later, an outburst of emotions occurs, which manifests itself in inappropriate and aggressive behavior. Basically, this outburst affects the people closest to him.

Reason four

Lack of love and sincere feelings for your partner. When there are no signs of love from the husband, only noticeably aggressive behavior, shouting and quarrels, psychologists believe that this is precisely because of the lack of love for the person. To make your husband fall in love with you again, you can use this information.

Reason five

He starts comparing you to other women and unfortunately, they win the comparison. This does not mean that this is actually the case. Everything said rests solely on his subjective vision, nothing more than that.

Reason six

It is not uncommon for aggression emanating from a man to be a response to his wife’s provocations. When a woman constantly pays more attention to those around her than to her spouse, and the priority of the desires of her friends is higher than common family values. Insulting his relatives and friends. This aggression is justified and adequate, in my opinion.

Reason seven

A trivial case. A man simply does not know how to achieve his goal except to resort to violence.

No proper self-care

We are accustomed to the fact that when a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, the stronger sex is always to blame. But sex is not an obligation, but a way of obtaining satisfaction on a voluntary basis. This means that partners should be as excited and relaxed as possible. But imagine a situation when a man meets a beautiful girl who looks well-groomed and elegant. However, after several years of married life, she gained significant weight, stopped shaving her leg hair and stopped taking care of her hair. Clothing stores have been replaced by grocery stores, and on the shelves instead of cosmetics there is a whole range of medicines to the envy of pharmacists.

“A man should accept me for who I am,” you say. However, will there be a feeling of passion for a loved one who does not shower, wears dirty clothes and sometimes forgets to brush his teeth? A girl is simply obliged to take care of herself at any age, and it is not necessary to spend huge sums on visiting famous cosmetologists.

A beautiful woman is a happy woman. Sometimes in marriage everything is interconnected, because a man wants to become an equal to his beloved, strive to give her the best, so the fair sex should stimulate him to accomplish great things. And it’s better to start with your appearance (keep your body fit, don’t forget about your health, pamper yourself with an openwork peignoir).

Why does he insult in front of strangers?

Usually, this act is resorted to in order to appear strong and more powerful in a relationship. Thus, in the eyes of others, raise your own self-esteem. This is what exceptionally weak, insecure people do.

Here you need to help your husband believe in his own importance so that he does not have the desire to assert himself in this.

I want passion and innovation

So, what to do if the husband doesn't want his wife? First, analyze the lifestyle and environment that reigns in your family. Realize how boring and monotonous sex has become. Understand that to receive the greatest pleasure, you need to be sexy, desirable and exciting.

Say: "No!" missionary position and five-minute sex. Talk to your husband about his fantasies, tell him about yours. Meet your loved one in a sophisticated negligee and update your linen. Buy sex toys, involve your husband in role-playing games - do everything to bring back the former spark. Feel free to try BDSM, flagellation, anal and oral sex, different positions from the Kama Sutra, tantric sex.

Insults in front of a child

If your spouse allows himself to insult or physically abuse his wife in front of the child. There’s no point in thinking here, kicking someone like that in the face. Otherwise, the psyche of the child who observed such pictures while growing up will suffer.

If you are not ready or want to save your marriage, then try to start a dialogue with him. Explain that this behavior will have a detrimental effect on your children. If he continues to behave aggressively and inappropriately, it is better to consult a psychologist or separate for the benefit of the children.

How to behave during attacks

Before you decide exactly what to do, you need to know:

• Why does my husband actually behave this way?
• Think about it, do you still have feelings for your spouse after what you experienced? Maybe you don't want that kind of relationship.
• How often do you have quarrels with your spouse?
• Do you respond to attacks just as aggressively?
• Is it possible that the in-laws had a similar pattern of behavior within the family?

Diseases and pathologies

If a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, this does not mean that he has another one and has lost interest in his rightful soul mate. There are also a number of reasons that are directly related to the physiological characteristics of his body. Let's look at all the reasons why a husband doesn't want sex with his wife:

• decreased libido occurs against the background of viral or infectious diseases;
• This is also facilitated by diabetes mellitus, hormonal imbalance, and disorders in the endocrine system;
• prolonged depression and mental disorders;
• age-related changes;
• pathologies and inflammatory processes in the male genital organs;
• diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous system;
• alcoholism and other addictions.

Good will help cope with the situation

Psychology says that if both hearts truly love each other, then aggression can be dealt with by resorting to the following recommendations:

• Don't respond to aggression with aggression. Instead of responding with anger, try to say something kind and pleasant to the person, so that his conscience awakens and reduces the desire to attack. If this is repeated over a certain period of time, the husband’s inappropriate behavior will go away.
• When you are humiliated and insulted. Tell your loved one straight to the face that it hurts you greatly to hear such words addressed to you from him.
• Avoid provocations that can further provoke a wave of aggression.
• Speak as clearly and with kindness as possible. Let's say you were able to achieve a successful career only thanks to the support of your spouse.
• Provide your spouse with comfortable living conditions. Show by such an action that he is dear and significant to you. This may make the desire to insult disappear.
• Maintain neutrality when talking about his friends, addictions and desires.

No children - no problems

Many women are faced with the same dilemma - why the husband does not want children from his wife. In this case, there is no need to build illusions and harbor false hopes, because the answer lies on the surface. The man has other priorities in life, and children are not yet part of his planned plan. Sometimes it is difficult to reach a compromise, but the only way is to talk to your loved one. Perhaps he has a primary goal that he has been striving for all his life.

Women forget that before they found their soulmate, a man had a completely different life. He developed, worked, dreamed and strived for something, so obliging and forcing him to take such a serious step as having children is stupid. The bottom line is that even before marriage, it is important to discuss this issue so that you know what is a priority. Some men want to provide a good future for their children, build a house, save money, travel and write a book, and only then devote themselves to fatherhood.

But there are also cases when a man made a mistake in choosing his wife, and habit and responsibility do not allow him to leave her. Initially, he saw that his beloved was caring, caring and caring, but frequent emotional outbursts, screams and scandals out of the blue could ruin his opinion of her. A man simply loses the guarantee that his wife will become soft, kind and responsive after the birth of the baby.

Putting your husband in his place

• Scare your spouse. Move in with your parents for a while. Arrange for your partner to completely ignore you; there should be no calls or messages. Complete absence of any contact. After a couple of days, respond to his messages. Say you are ready to forgive, but be more strict. From your behavior, a man should understand that life without him is possible, and you are quite happy with it. If he wants to continue your relationship, then he will have to improve. And you should support him in his endeavors.
• As soon as a man begins to behave aggressively. Grab the kids and go for a walk. After a while, your spouse will cool down and you will be able to have an adequate conversation. By explaining that you are not angry with him, you understand that emotional breakdowns happen and are ready to help him in any situation. But if such behavior is repeated, most likely everything will end in the collapse of the family.
• Resort to frank dialogue in which you will resolve all omissions and disagreements. You should only talk to each other, but in front of people, so that he restrains possible manifestations of rage.

No harmony in bed

Another problem in psychology is why a husband does not want a wife - the couple’s biorhythms simply do not match. Let's give an example: a man works from 8 am to 6 pm, so after sunset he is awake and ready to conquer the peaks. His wife works from 12 noon to 12 midnight, and when she comes home she dreams of a hot bath and a warm bed. The moment a man desires a woman, she refuses him for a simple reason - fatigue. And then a similar situation occurs, exactly the opposite.

In this case, you need to be able to adjust your biorhythms, either by getting used to the regime, or by changing your work schedule, or by sacrificing an extra hour for rest.

Psychologist's advice

Why does a husband insult and humiliate his wife? Psychology on this question suggests that you familiarize yourself with the recommendations for the current situation:

1. The spouse’s aggressive behavior will not go away on its own.
2. Don't suppress your anger by wanting to look white and fluffy.
3. Don't respond to aggression with aggression.
4. If you understand that this is not typical for you, do not do it.
5. A person can change only if he himself has the desire to do so.
6. Do not force yourself into the idea that relationships in which there is tyranny, insults and beatings are the norm.

We all understand that arguments can happen in relationships. People are gaining experience on how to deal with them and live. Constant work on relationships is required. In this regard, if your conflicts are isolated cases, try to resolve all issues through dialogue and as early as possible. Share your opinion and ways to solve the current situation in the comments.