If you are still not happy with your sibling, then this article is not for you. Of course, you can read it, but it is especially recommended for reading by those who have a brother or sister and who experience certain difficulties in communicating with them. There are three possible options here: you are the youngest, you are the elder, you are the same age. Let's talk about each option.
How to improve relationships with older brothers and sisters
“I AM THE YOUNGER IN THE FAMILY” - this means that you have an older brother or sister. Moreover, they can be everything to you - both your closest friend and your annoying teacher.
You can be proud of your older sister or brother and tell your friends about them. In this case, you can consider yourself lucky. And this is indeed true, because rarely do any of us boast of such a relationship with an older sister or brother.
It happens much more often that older brothers are dissatisfied with the younger ones, and the younger ones, in turn, suffer from the terror of their elders. Therefore, the news that they have to spend the whole day together takes them both out of their normal state for a long time. This circumstance frightens the younger ones, and worries the older ones (what else can this little fiend of hell do?).
Suppose you were left with an older sister and assigned to look after you. You both know for sure that you don’t feel much love for each other. Therefore, we want to give you some tips on how to spend this day in peace and quiet .
- Try to put yourself in your sister's shoes. How would you behave if you knew that she had to obey you in everything? That’s what she thinks too, so don’t be offended by her if she suddenly decides to order you around. After all, she was left in charge of the eldest on this day, which means you should obey her in everything, and then she will let you go for a walk and allow you to watch TV. Or maybe you will do your homework together, and she will finally explain to you a difficult topic in mathematics.
- You don't want to obey her. Well, your desire is quite understandable. Of course, you can’t obey, because you’re a man and you know what to do. Therefore, immediately decide for yourself: you will not obey, but listen to what your sister says. If, in your opinion, she says quite reasonable things (such as talking about the benefits of hot soup or washing your hands before eating), then why don’t you do as your sister says.
- But what should you do if your sister is clearly abusing her power? Do you think it’s worth declaring war on her, and not to the death? Still, this is not a way out. You see, the whole trick is to live in peace with your sister and at the same time maintain an equal relationship. That is, she should not push you around, and you should not obey her in everything, as if you were her slave or servant.
How to do this? Firstly, if she starts forcing you to do something (which you shouldn’t do), don’t become rude and don’t shout that you won’t fulfill her whims for anything in the world. Instead, in a calm voice, invite your sister to do all this together. After all, she probably won’t refuse to help you.
Secondly, think carefully, maybe your sister is just asking you to help her a little with the housework. And you immediately begin to suspect that she wants to use you for some purpose. In general, this is very easy to recognize by… the intonation of a person’s voice. If your sister asks you to do something in a commanding, commanding tone, then it is quite clear what she wants from you, and that you will not do this, thus expressing your protest to her harsh tone and unfair attitude. But if your sister kindly asks you for something and at the same time says the magic word “please,” then you have no reason to worry or suspect that they want to boss you around.
It's no secret that many younger brothers deliberately turn the lives of their older sisters or brothers into a nightmare. Maybe you too belong to such monsters? Remember the last time you and your sister had a peaceful conversation about something?
Sometimes you can hear that the younger and older are fighting, and they are fighting as if they were enemies and they had a blood feud. But I wonder if you and your sister fight? If yes, then it’s time to get rid of this bad habit. After all, an older sister is like your mother, she should take care of you, and instead of repaying her with love, you fight with her.
You and your sister are left alone at home for the whole day. It is very important for both you and her not to quarrel on this day. Try this with the help of the tips listed here, and you will see how your enmity will gradually develop into a strong friendship.
With an older brother, the younger one has fewer problems. Most likely, this is because they are dominated by a sense of male solidarity. As a rule, boys are very attached to each other, the younger brother is always proud and even boasts of the elder, and the elder is condescending towards all the antics of the younger.
But let's assume that you two are left alone for the whole day. It is absolutely clear that you will be afraid to simply be capricious, because jokes with your older brother are dangerous. His conversation is short: he will make you do push-ups or squats 200 times in a row. You don’t want this, so there is only one way out - to do whatever your brother says. He tells you to finish the semolina porridge - and you finish it like a darling. Or he orders you to put all the toys in the closet, and you don’t dare disobey. But the reward for obedience will be appropriate - the elder brother will definitely come up with something interesting for you.
Never pester your brother if he is busy with something important: studying homework, writing a report, watching TV. If he gives you some task, then be kind enough to sit and complete it. After all, then he will definitely check whether you completed his task or not. And beware if you dare to disobey him.
Suppose your older brother allows himself to beat you. This is a mess. The healthy kid got along well with the little one. Or maybe it's your own fault? Did you pester him and demand something impossible? If your older brother beats you and this is exactly what you are afraid of when your parents leave you alone, then isn’t it better to tell them everything? The best thing is to try talking to your brother: tell him that it hurts you a lot. But just don’t cry when you talk to him, otherwise he’ll decide that you’re a crybaby and a “weakling.”
Let's review once again what you need to do to spend a peaceful day with your older sister or brother:
- Remember that they are the ones left in charge, not you.
- Always put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would do in such a situation.
- Remember: whatever they do, they do for your own good. This may not be visible at first glance, but believe me that this is exactly the case. Don’t pester them with nonsense, don’t distract them from important matters, so as not to get hit on the head. Of course, you can now object by saying that he/she should entertain you, since they were left in charge of the eldest.
- Do not engage in arbitrariness (that is, do not try to do something for which you do not have permission).
How to live in peace and harmony with younger brothers and sisters
“I AM THE ELDEREST IN THE FAMILY” - let’s talk about how to behave with your younger sisters or brothers. Do you remember how long you begged your mother to give you a brother or sister? Do you remember how happy you were when they finally brought her/him and how at first you didn’t like this constantly screaming creature?
Do you remember how one of the advertisements says: “Your younger brothers are not chosen”? So you will have to first be patient, and then love her/him. Undoubtedly, there are a lot of problems with little ones: they need to be taught everything, told about everything, and their hundreds of “whys” have long pissed off mom and dad and are slowly creeping up on you. After all, you want to look smart in the eyes of your child, knowing everything, so willy-nilly, you will have to answer their questions, which pour out of them at a terrible speed. This is probably why you don’t want to be alone with your sister/brother.
Would you like some invaluable advice?
- Since it so happened that you were left at home alone, then try to live up to your mother’s hopes. After all, she left you in charge of the eldest, which means you must look after the little one as if you were a real mother.
- Don't let your little sister or brother cry. After all, they can demand a mother (and where will you get her if she won’t be home for another 2-3 hours), and without receiving a mother, they will begin to whine and be capricious. But this can be avoided if you keep them busy with something interesting from the very beginning.
Don't leave them alone in the room, hoping that they will have a great time without you. Don't forget that they are still small and they really need someone to play with them. It's not difficult for you to play with them, is it? And besides, left alone and realizing that you don’t care about them, they can do something that their returning parents might really dislike. And you will get it from your mother when she discovers how these little demons had fun. After all, you won’t even notice how your mother’s favorite French perfume will spill onto the doll’s hair, and her owner herself will be smeared with cosmetics from head to toe. And this is not the worst entertainment that a small child can arrange for himself.
It will not be difficult for them to paint the wallpaper in the room or paint the cat blue. So don't leave small children unattended.
- Comply with all their reasonable wishes. If he/she wants tea, then have a small tea party with dolls, bears, toy dogs and cats - in general, play.
If he/she asks you to play a game that seems terribly stupid and pointless to you, then be patient and play with the child. After all, a game like this seems stupid to you, but to them, on the contrary, it seems interesting and exciting.
No matter how much you want to see a new movie, give it up in favor of the younger generation. One cannot help but agree that with their questions, which very often do not make sense, kids are capable of infuriating even the most patient person, especially with their “why”, which pour out of them so that you do not have time to answer one question before it is immediately followed by another follows. In general, you will quickly get tired of answering questions. Do you want to know one secret? Don’t try to answer the little one’s “why” seriously. The more original and funnier the answer, the faster she will leave you behind. And you can start asking her/him equally stupid questions.
What you shouldn’t do is irritably brush off your sister, who, it seems to you, is pestering you with all sorts of nonsense. For example, a little girl asks you to talk to her doll. And instead of accepting the game that she imposes on you and which you just need to support, you rudely tell her that she is bothering you. Don’t forget that you are an older brother who should look after her and take care of her, but not offend her in any way.
And with your younger brother, you can generally play such interesting games as, for example: building a hut from a table and blankets or building a starship from chairs. You can play mother-daughter with your sister, and you have the honorable role of being a dad, she becomes a mother, and your daughter will be some kind of doll. You can also play in the store or in the hospital.
Yes, don't forget to feed him/her if mom doesn't come back for a long time. Moreover, you still won’t be able to force soup or porridge into them, but if you sit down to eat yourself, and even present your dinner as a game, your little sister will eat everything without asking.
Little children are always naughty because they are little. And you, as the eldest, will have to do everything to prevent them from crying. If necessary, you can dance and sing for them. That's what big brother is.
- Do not hit them under any circumstances. They are small, weak, and won’t be able to hit you back, but they should. What kind of elder brother are you if you cannot calm down the younger ones without assault. Besides, if you hit your sister or brother, you will do even more harm. The child will not calm down, but on the contrary, will scream even louder.
Don't get involved in family scandals
If a mother scolds her sister, and the other daughter takes the parent’s side, then the second girl will associate her with a traitor. After all, they should be one team. On the other hand, there are often situations when the older sister begins to scold the younger sister together with her mother, because she understands that the younger girl does not yet fully understand her mistakes.
In order not to hear the terrible words “I hate my big sister!”, you should choose a position of neutrality. If mom or dad scolds your sister, you need to stay away. Also, you should not discuss it behind your back with your parents. Otherwise, you can become a real enemy for her.
