Important factors
People do not always look for a mistress only because of the desire to satisfy natural needs. Sometimes a person is driven by the desire to gain understanding, care, affection and participation. Therefore, if a mistress wants to win over a man, then she will have to seriously work on herself.
The main principle of such relationships is that there is no need to hope that the lover will abruptly leave his wife. And in general, that he will get divorced. The chance of such a development of events is almost zero. Therefore, there is no need to hope.
The essence of a relationship with a lover is a mutually beneficial exchange. The mistress receives bonuses of a material nature, and the man receives sex and related things. You should not chase after a large number of patrons or do business with someone who disgusts you. The advantage of a “replacement lady” is that she is not exhausted by everyday life, does not suffer from various problems, and is easy to spend time with.
Taming the Shrew or Strength in Weakness
Everyone wants to emerge victorious from a quarrel, to proudly raise the ensign of their greatness, the only correct opinion, over the vanquished. You are offended by your lover, you expect concessions, apologies, sometimes even prayers on your knees. He, in turn, tries to demonstrate independence, composure to the lady’s manipulations, tears, and reproaches. Each is trying to “educate” the other, to prove that they are right, to achieve their goals by any means necessary. But is love a place for competition?
Such training will not lead to anything good. When we get angry, we often lose our self-control. We make offensive, not always fair, remarks, harsh criticism, which we later regret, but our pride does not allow us to admit the mistake out loud. Loud sighs, silent suffering, demonstrative ignoring and other meaningless manipulations are used. What to do if you had a fight with your lover?
Ideal image2
Being in the role of a “second” person in bed is not so easy and simple. You need to come to terms with the idea of being in the shadows, not pretend to be more and be able to restrain yourself. This is not always easy to do, since you can see the chosen one cooing next to his legal wife. At such a moment, there will be a strong desire to cause a scandal in a fit of jealousy, but you need to remember: it will not bring much results.
You need to pay great attention to appearance, wardrobe and style. It is necessary to work on character, trying to smooth out negative traits. In any meeting with a lover, you need to adhere to goodwill, passion, and delight. Only such a lady will be popular with men.
Selling yourself is not easy, even if there is no direct transfer of money involved. For example, you can get a promotion at work or nice gifts. Sooner or later this will begin to depress and lead to personal problems.
A woman will begin to feel like she is just a commodity. Therefore, you need to leave time for rest, recovery and relaxation.
The ideal image of a mistress is a well-groomed, bright, artistic, beautiful lady who knows her worth and is skilled in love. It is not necessary to be a fatal beauty; it is much more important to be smart, funny and easy to communicate. The famous Lilya Brik was unprepossessing, but she charmed men.
Ways to help you get through a difficult period
There are many ways to quickly recover from a breakup with your married partner. They will ease the breakup and the stages of experiencing separation. You can change your appearance, your place of residence, go on a trip, take up a new hobby, meet with friends more, or focus all your energy on building a career.
Changes in appearance
You can start by changing your appearance. To do this, you need to invite your friends to go shopping and buy new things. Then go to a beauty salon, get a haircut, recolor your hair, cut off your bangs if you’ve never had them in your life, or get a bio-perm. You should also refresh your manicure and try a color that you haven’t painted your nails before. These procedures will distract you from your worries and help you cope with melancholy.
Change of residence or travel
When the ghosts of the past haunt you after breaking up with your lover, frequent meetings with him occur, this begins to excite your feelings. If possible, then you can move to live in another area or even city, so that familiar places do not remind you of your former lover.
If the idea of moving is rejected, it’s enough to change the environment for a while and go on a trip. It will allow you to escape from memories, experience new emotions, and get rid of sadness. New experiences will help you get over the breakup faster. During the trip you will meet people who will tell you a lot of interesting things. Excursions to famous places will fill the mind with new facts and useful information, so there will be no time to experience the feelings of a breakup. And it would be a shame to waste time on this.
If it is not possible to change your place of residence or go on a trip, it is enough to at least start cleaning the apartment. Physical labor is a great fight against sadness. Rearranging your apartment is also not such an impossible idea. The new interior will refresh your thoughts and restore peace of mind. Changing the wallpaper or curtains would also work. Getting rid of old junk will also help.
Interesting hobby
A new hobby can reboot your brain and distract you from suffering. There are many ideas: learn to knit, sew, embroider, play the guitar, take up dancing, sign up for yoga, master the splits. Book lovers should start collecting a library, sorting books by genre, writer, cover color. After this process, you can sit in a chair with a cup of tea or coffee, pick up a book and go on a literary binge. Let the book be about love, suffering, in which you can see the ways in which the heroes of the book pages experience grief. After reading some works, your own story will seem funny and absurd.
For those who don't like books, head straight to the gym or the skating rink. In the gym, physical activity will help you take your mind off your worries, and at the skating rink you will have the opportunity to learn how to skate if someone doesn’t know how. In winter you can go skiing.
Communication with friends or relatives
Depression is a dangerous thing. It’s better not to be alone, but to invite guests: girlfriends, parents, friends. You can go to them yourself. Communication with loved ones will allow you to express all the pain, hear and feel the support of family and friends. They will tell you other stories from life, and when you hear them, you understand that you are not the only one to whom this happened.
Career Focus
Being immersed in work really helps many people, because there is no time left to think about personal problems. And in the evening, when you return home, you don’t have the strength to think about them. Some people even take work home just to immerse themselves in it and not let bad thoughts enter their heads. Only career, only work.
Rules of conduct3
What should a mistress do? In order for the activity to be as successful as possible, you need to adhere to certain tactics. The first thing to remember is no whining, irritation, or showdown! You can't complain, whine and suffer - it's annoying and doesn't bring pleasure.
The more simple-minded a woman is, the greater the favor of the patron. You can’t overly belittle your intellectual merits to the level of a fool, but you can’t pretend to be a bore with high intelligence either.
Constantly work on your self-esteem. Every day you need to talk about yourself in the first person in front of the mirror. For example, “I’m beautiful,” “I’m smart,” “I’m sexy,” and so on. A person with a good ego reeks of attractiveness. Such a mistress will be in demand and men from the upper classes will compete for her attention.
It is necessary to improve intimately. Passion, frankness and a willingness to experiment will significantly increase a lady's value. Don't be afraid to take the initiative. Guys really love those girls who turn out to be goddesses in bed.
You can’t let yourself turn into a typical woman. In an unwashed terry robe, with a bun of hair and bags under his eyes. A mistress should always be well-groomed, beautiful, graceful. Elegance accompanies her everywhere. It wouldn’t hurt to practice dancing, strip dancing and something similar. This will make the movements flexible and mesmerizing.
It is necessary to think through the image well. Cosmetics (non-vulgar makeup), manicure (without kinks in the form of long claws), high-quality perfume - all this will allow the guy to remember his mistress and imagine her according to a number of characteristics.
Know how to provide support not only in the form of quality sex. For many people, it is psychologically easier to speak out to another person. Therefore, you need to refrain from condemnation and evaluation. It will take patience, listening and the ability to share values.
Even if it is very difficult to restrain yourself from a scandal, do not start it. Nobody wants a quarrelsome woman. Men quickly run away from such madams who like to sort things out. Therefore, a priori, only one role is permissible - a princess, and not an evil witch.
Ignore the fact of your chosen one’s marital status and demonstrate your feelings. Let him be sure that he is one and only of his kind. All representatives of the stronger sex like to be a superman in the eyes of a lady.
Don’t reproach, don’t whine or complain, don’t beg for gifts - these are the main guidelines for behavior. By following them you can easily achieve success.
How to leave your lover depending on your zodiac sign
1. Aries.
Aries wants to break up on his own.
Emotional, impulsive and passionate lover. Any of his relationships are accompanied by loud scandals and no less stormy reconciliations. Even if the separation occurs on the initiative of Aries, he is still worried. After deciding to separate, he can take back his words and again confess his love and desire to continue the relationship. It is almost impossible to part with Aries quickly. Even if he dumps you on his own, expect the Aries man to make several attempts to “accidentally” meet you.
If you leave Aries.
How to leave your lover? There will be no trace left of the sentimentality described in the first case. Prepare for the reaction to be harsh. Anger, hatred, revenge, then complete ignorance. You can't just "stay friends" with an Aries. Even if he still has feelings for you, he will never admit it.
2. Taurus.
Taurus wants to break up on his own.
Taurus men take a long time to choose who will become their life partner, so they rarely get close to “random” people. A person decides on a serious relationship only if he is completely confident in his partner and the correctness of his choice. Therefore, he experiences the separation painfully and hard, for a long time he cannot believe that he made a mistake with the decision. The man will feel deceived because you did not live up to his expectations. Taurus is always confident that he puts maximum effort into the relationship. He will not look for meetings, like Aries, but will disappear without explanation.
If you leave Taurus.
No matter how Taurus experiences the breakup, he will keep all emotions to himself. It is important for representatives of this sign to “save face” in any circumstances. You shouldn’t expect him to pursue you after such a betrayal. But there is no need to expect revenge from him. Often an abandoned Taurus man surrounds himself with pseudo-friends. It is important for him to be convinced of his own perfection, as well as the limitless shortcomings of his ex-girlfriend. Taurus perceives any unsuccessful relationship as a stone in his garden, so he cannot draw logical conclusions and look at the situation with an open mind.
3. Gemini.
Geminis want to separate on their own.
The Gemini man has a rather pragmatic view of romantic relationships. Your lover will not worry about failure in love, because he lives by the principle “if it doesn’t work out with this girl, it will work out with another.” Having discovered that the chosen one does not correspond to his ideas about the ideal, he will begin to look for a new object of adoration without any remorse. Geminis value life and do not waste it on unsuccessful relationships. They break up easily and quickly, especially in their younger years.
If you leave Gemini.
Have you decided to break up with your lover who is a representative of this sign? Don't be tormented by doubts. A Gemini man will not worry about a breakup. He will occupy his time with parties with friends, traveling or making new acquaintances. After breaking up with a girl, a man will not try to restore the relationship.
Geminis are one of the most practical people; they draw conclusions from failures, and then, realizing the mistakes they made, look for new relationships. They are careful when choosing life partners and will not communicate with a girl if she in any way resembles her ex.
Recommended articles on this topic:
- The husband found another: how to save the family, and does this make sense?
- Phrases for dating that will make a man ask you out on a date
- How often do men think about sex: details in numbers
4. Cancer.
Cancer wants to break up on his own.
Under this sign true romantics are born who sincerely believe in love at first sight and for life. That is why the Cancer man will try in every possible way to save the relationship. The likelihood that a Cancer man himself will decide to leave you tends to zero.
If you leave Cancer.
How to leave your lover if he is Cancer? Almost impossible. Be prepared for the fact that when you talk about breaking up, you will have to face his reluctance. He will react extremely violently to any attempts: sob, beg, threaten, blackmail, scare with his illness, etc. It is possible that he will begin to shower you with gifts and compliments, as well as threats to commit suicide. A Cancer man will agree to break up with you only if he already has a future passion in mind.
5. Leo
Leo wants to break up on his own.
If a proud and self-confident Leo is disappointed in a relationship, then no one and nothing can change his mind. He tries to play up the breakup beautifully: he will condescendingly and favorably announce that he no longer sees you together. This dialogue can be emotional, but it always takes place in a calm atmosphere, without shouting or scandals.
Any attempts to return a lover who abandoned you will not be successful. Most likely, he will stop answering calls and begin to avoid communication.
The only exception is possible if the reason for his decision is your shortcomings, but he is ready to put up with them. Only sincere feelings can motivate him to give this relationship another chance.
If you leave Leo.
If you leave a lover born under the sign of Leo, you are unlikely to see his sincere feelings. In any circumstances, a man will try to maintain a calm appearance. The very fact that he was rejected greatly affects his self-esteem. Nevertheless, Leo always breaks up with dignity. Even if he is visited by a desire to take revenge on you, it will quickly disappear.
6. Virgo.
Virgo wants to break up on her own.
For Virgo, your proposal to break up is a personal defeat. The Virgo man will try to avoid a breakup, because, firstly, it affects his self-esteem, and secondly, it causes pain. Virgos get used to their partner, so they try to maintain the relationship, even if they do not enjoy it. Therefore, he is more likely to be abandoned than to leave on his own.
If you leave Virgo.
A man of this sign experiences a hard breakup, withdraws into himself and feels slighted. He always looks for the reason for separation in his own words and actions. He really considers himself to blame for the current situation and is trying to understand what mistake he made. It is representatives of this sign who most often begin to meet ex-girlfriends again. The main problem of the Virgo man is that he does not believe in successful relationships. That is, he believes that he does not deserve such happiness, and that is why he suffers.
7. Libra.
Libra wants to break up on their own.
The Libra man cannot stand loneliness. He is more likely to become someone's secret lover than to be left alone. In case of conflict or misunderstanding, a person will avoid conversation, delaying until the last moment the moment of making a final decision. It is difficult for him to find words, so he will not confront you with a fact, but will simply dissolve in space: he will either become less and less likely to make contact, or will disappear altogether. Libra's failures in relationships are associated precisely with the fear of loneliness.
If you leave Libra.
It is almost impossible to abandon a representative of this sign without him suffering. If he fell in love, it means it’s serious and for a long time. In any case, he will see the reason for the separation in himself, in his own unattractiveness. It is this trait that selfish girls and marriage swindlers take advantage of. It is possible that even many years after the breakup, he will remember and experience warm feelings for you.
8. Scorpio.
Scorpio wants to break up on his own.
The Scorpio man will try to remain a winner in any situation. Therefore, if your lover has decided to leave you, he will do it decisively and calmly. This sign is characterized by persistence in relationships, no matter whether he is trying to win your love or get rid of you.
Scorpio must have a good reason for separation. If he stopped trusting you or suspected you of infidelity, then expect hatred, revenge and anger on his part.
If you leave Scorpio.
How to leave a Scorpio lover? This challenge is not for the faint of heart. First, prepare for a violent reaction and scandal. Secondly, don’t even expect to get rid of it so easily. Most likely, he will not take your words seriously and will try to make peace. If you persist, he will go berserk. An angry lover is capable of cruel statements and actions. Using all his cunning, grace, imagination and passion, he will bring his plans of revenge to life. And when he finishes, he will forget about your existence.
9. Sagittarius.
Sagittarius wants to break up on his own.
The Sagittarius man is incredibly patient. He will forgive you, turn a blind eye to your shortcomings and give you second chances if he is interested in a relationship. However, his patience is not unlimited. He expresses the decision to break up calmly, without emotion. Many Sagittarius do not break contacts, but remain friends with ex-girlfriends, and even help them if necessary.
If you quit Sagittarius.
You should not look for sophisticated ways or cunning plans to leave your lover. He will leave on his own, but with dignity and his head held high. After a breakup, a person will easily immerse himself in new acquaintances, and will not suffer and be tormented by memories.
10. Capricorn.
Capricorn wants to break up on his own.
Capricorn often mistakes passionate infatuation for true love. However, sooner or later an epiphany comes, followed by separation. The Capricorn man is straightforward, sincere and ruthless. He will not make any attempts to restore the relationship, but will openly declare his intentions, little worrying about appearing tough and cruel.
If you leave Capricorn.
How to leave your lover without him being offended? Anyway. He will not cling to the past, but will move on without remembering the failed relationship. Most likely, the man will quickly find a replacement for you. If you leave a Capricorn who sincerely loves you, then he is unlikely to start casual relationships, but will concentrate on professional interests. The Capricorn man will never share his experiences with others. From his calm appearance it is impossible to understand what passions are raging in his soul.
11. Aquarius.
Aquarius wants to break up on his own.
As soon as Aquarius stops admiring you, he will immediately disappear. Without any worries, doubts or remorse. And the reason for this behavior is not empathy for you. It’s just that a man doesn’t want to become a participant in a melodramatic scene with tears, hysterics and threats from another admirer. He will easily cut off all contacts with you, and if necessary, change his phone number.
Surprisingly, as soon as he decides that you have finally come to terms with the breakup and moved away from your worries, he will get in touch with you. Friendly and even friendly relations with an ex-girlfriend are in order for Aquarius.
If you leave Aquarius.
First, your lover will come to the conclusion that another failure in love is his karma. But he will very quickly return to his favorite activities (work, study, hobbies). Until another fall in love.
Prohibited actions4
If a woman intends to become a mistress, then she must immediately understand that there are some things that cannot be done under any circumstances. The most important thing is that you cannot constantly pester about your marital status. Negativity will not add points and will only cause irritation. By constantly asking a man when he will divorce his wife, the lady will only achieve disgust and separation.
An explosion of emotions is a bad idea anyway. Therefore, you should control yourself, control yourself and not give in. Attempts to demand and beg for something will not be successful. Such tactics always lead to complete failure.
It is worth admitting to yourself that a relationship with a married person is necessary to obtain some benefit. No one will just tolerate a guy who is not free, listening to problems, or living a double life. Gifts can be accepted from a lover, but you cannot demand and ask for them, swearing if they are not good enough. At the same time, you can’t be too happy about him, since it will be unpleasant for any man to see the obvious fact: they are dating him only for the sake of money.
You can't be hysterical, but mumble is also a bad option. Pastime should turn into a holiday. To do this, you need to give up quarrels, whining, insults, and scandals. Rare meetings are filled with passion, dizzying sex, intimate conversations. You will want to return to such a woman.
You should not use banal manipulations - pressure to feel guilty, blackmail, hypercontrol. Otherwise, the chosen one will be pushed to a certain thought, and it will not be in favor of the mistress. Requirements to constantly report on where you are, work, and other events only turn you off.
Despite the widespread stereotype, men do not like stupid people. It’s not enough when relationships are limited only to sex. People still talk and therefore you need to engage in self-development.
Never try to secretly get pregnant and tie your chosen one with a child. This will only lead to a bad outcome. Do not pursue a person after a breakup, do not make attempts to sort things out, or take a man by surprise.
Experts tried to understand the psychology of mistresses who have achieved success in this field. The collected portrait is unobtrusive, modest, solves problems on her own.
What to say when breaking up
If you have decided to break up, you need to act decisively. You should not postpone the farewell conversation and give the person false hopes. Women try to end relationships with phrases:
- "Let's remain friends";
- “Maybe we should separate for a week, a month, and then we’ll be together?”;
- "I need time to think".
But they harm not only the girl, but also the partner. There is no certainty in them, which means there can be no talk of a point in the relationship.
The farewell speech should be uncompromising and decisive. After it, the lover must understand that a woman’s choice cannot be corrected.
READ What to do if your lover doesn’t call or write
You can’t leave on a negative note, devaluing all the relationships you had with your partner. It's better to tame your anger. A calm breakup will help you get over the consequences faster. It is better to say the following phrases:
- "I don't want to be with you anymore";
- " I do not love you";
- “I want to be a wife and mother, but this won’t happen with you”;
- “I realized that I love my husband and don’t want to cheat on him anymore”;
- “Thank you for all the wonderful hours we spent together, but this is where our communication ends,” etc.
You should not part with a person by correspondence or telephone. It is advisable to wait for a personal meeting. Only face to face should you explain to a man the reasons why the breakup occurs.
It is not easy to survive the days of mental anguish, but it is possible with minimal emotional loss. The main thing is to patiently overcome all stages of separation.
Main secret5
It's actually not that difficult to achieve success. Representatives of the stronger sex willingly go to the house where they are expected and loved. Where their opinion is valued and considered valuable, where they are listened to, understood and not judged. The right mistress will not swear, make trouble or sort things out. She gets pleasure and bonuses, and he gets sex and communication.
In modern society, morality is outdated. Therefore, girls need to kill the victim in themselves. Everyone determines the scope of morality and the boundaries of what is permitted. Therefore, if you want a relationship with a married man, and he doesn’t mind, then what can stop them?
Any kept woman understands perfectly well what she is getting into. Therefore, it is stupid to quarrel, conflict and cause scenes of jealousy. The rules were known from the beginning and it’s strange to be offended by them.
You may not be able to control yourself and inform your wife, but this is unlikely to bring a divorce. But breaking up a relationship with your mistress is very possible. Therefore, it is better to pretend to be nice and take advantage of the situation.
Final tips on how to get your lover back after a breakup
Before developing a plan to return your loved one, think carefully and weigh the pros and cons. In fact, do you need this man or is it all a matter of habit, hurt pride and fear of being alone. Conduct a small experiment: start leading an active life, go to a fitness club, start a new hobby, enjoy simple things. If after a certain period of time you also miss your lover and really understand that you miss him, feel free to put the plan into action.
Suppose the lover did not want to leave his wife, which was the cause of the conflict. If you have taken the first step towards reconciliation and are ready to remain in the background for a man, then accept that he will never leave the family. Calmly analyze the reasons for your separation and think about what sacrifices you will decide to make to reunite with your loved one. Often common sense takes precedence over emotions, and the woman understands that the relationship is futile and has simply exhausted itself. Completely dissolving in her lover, a girl can lose herself as a person. Awareness of reality, as a rule, is sobering, and the desire to make peace disappears completely. If your feelings have not cooled down, fight for your love. And the answer to the question of whether it is possible to return a lover will be a matter of time.
Important! If the reason for the disagreement was your behavior, then before making peace, you need to eradicate the problem.
When there are truly genuine feelings between two people, the relationship is worth fighting for. Often girls resort to cunning and even blackmail, without thinking about whether it is possible to return their lover by force. It is unlikely that a romance based on manipulation will last long. Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to maintain composure, and she begins to do stupid things: she forces her loved one to leave his family, demands to immediately tell the whole world about your love. It is natural that such actions will only aggravate the situation. Try to remain calm so as not to make any mistakes. Follow the recommendations:
- Take a time out.
Exhale, calm down, give yourself and your partner a break. During the separation, the young man will think about everything and understand how much he misses you. The absence of suffering on the part of the beloved will serve as a reason for reconciliation. Men are attracted to self-sufficient, confident women. Show that your chosen one has something to lose. Therefore, it makes sense to wait time before returning your loved one.
- Conduct error analysis.
Men are less susceptible to emotions. They have a rational mindset, so they make balanced and thoughtful decisions. Believe me, if your lover decided to break up with you, he did not make this decision in one day. Find out what the reasons for leaving are. Having clarified what exactly does not suit your chosen one, try to correct the situation and work on your habits and character. Perhaps the young man is intimidated by your assertiveness. Try to be unobtrusive, keep your distance. And in the future, do not put pressure on your lover.
Tactics with married people 6
In order to successfully date a non-free man, you need to understand several points. First, always remember your place. It sounds rude, but it perfectly reflects the essence of what is happening. Even if you subconsciously want to be a wife, your imagination draws idealistic pictures, never talk to him about the future.
Representatives of the stronger sex perceive attempts at forced marriage negatively. Any attempts to induce divorce and a new wedding will be met with disgust and will lead to separation.
During meetings, you need to postpone any business. Home life is stressful and causes negative emotions. Men often run away from his family and look for connections on the side. Yes, occasionally you can ask to fix a cabinet door, but you shouldn’t abuse it.
Never show a bad mood. Even if you really want to, PMS rages and many other things seem wrong. A mistress is an island of comfort and pleasant emotions.
At the same time, one must not allow the lover to become too dominant. He begins to control life, tell him what to do and what not to do, and demand that he give up something. All this must be strictly suppressed.
Representatives of the stronger sex are tired of monotony. Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of changes in appearance, experiments in bed and unusual joint activities. Leave time for ordinary concerns, as relationships in the spirit of 24 hours, 7 days a week are quite tiring.
Any woman should leave room for intrigue. Therefore, you shouldn’t tell everything to the end, reveal all your cards at once and somehow make yourself easier. You can make it clear that life is full of different things and it is not always easy to find an hour for a meeting.
Stages of separation that a person goes through
To find out how to survive a breakup with minimal consequences, you need to determine what stage the person is at. Psychologists distinguish 5 stages:
- denial of the situation;
- disturbance;
- bargaining (an attempt to restore relations);
- depression;
- humility (acceptance of the situation).
To recover from a breakup, you need to make sure that you are not fixated on one of the stages. Only moving forward will help you survive the emotional shock and open up new opportunities. The characteristic features of each stage will help you understand this.
Stage of rejection of reality
After a breakup, a person is not ready to abruptly accept the fact that the relationship has ended. The situation is aggravated by stress.
The main signs of this stage are:
- acute attacks of panic (neuroses, anxiety);
- disappointment in life;
- despair (melancholy, stupor);
- lack of sleep or, conversely, sleeping all day long;
- loss of appetite.
Even if a woman has proposed a breakup, it is difficult for her at this stage to explain to herself that this is better.
The prolonged stage of non-acceptance indicates the presence of fear of experiencing bitter mental torment. To survive this period, you need:
- Soberly assess the current situation that led to such drastic actions.
- It is important to live in a familiar rhythm, not to be afraid of routine and not to plunge headlong into unimaginable adventures. But a moderate search for interests won't hurt.
Don't be afraid to turn to loved ones for support. It is easier to survive a breakup with your beloved married man together than alone.
Stage of indignation and anger
Denial is replaced by emotionally strong feelings. But along with them comes awareness of the situation. This stage passes quickly, but it is characterized by bright and expressive manifestations. Among the most common bouquet of feelings at this stage are:
- anger;
- resentment;
- guilt;
- aggression;
- irritation.
To survive this stage, you need to carefully control your actions, otherwise you will later bitterly regret actions taken in a fit of emotion.
READ Why women have lovers: the main reasons
Bargain
During this period, the initiator of the breakup may regret what he did. The fear of moving on without a lover gives rise to attempts to renew the relationship. Trading may be accompanied by thoughts:
- “I was in a hurry”;
- “I am ready to forgive”;
- "I won't survive."
It is important to understand that the return of your ex-lover will not change the situation. Awareness of this will help you survive the exciting moment.
Depression
After accepting a breakup, women often become depressed. Psychologists believe that this period is the most difficult of all. There is a high risk of suicide. Depression is accompanied by apathy. It can take root in all areas - work, study, hobbies, family, friends.
Concentrating on people and activities that are dear to your heart will help you survive a dangerous period of time. You need to remember all the hobbies that made you happy before meeting your lover.
If this stage drags on, a psychotherapist will help you get through this difficult situation.
Humility
After depression comes the stage of accepting reality. This is where building a new happy life begins.
The stage is characterized by the following metamorphoses:
- the story with the lover is a thing of the past;
- thoughts about an ex-man are replaced by more significant plans every day;
- there is a desire to move forward without a lover;
- the psyche was able to survive all stages of separation and begins to learn to live with the new experience of the former relationship.
When your soul becomes easy, it is important to believe in yourself and your strength.
How men usually behave after a quarrel
By the behavior of a man after a quarrel, you can understand a lot about his character. A few simple tips will tell you what type your lover is:
- The first type includes men who prefer to take a wait-and-see approach after a quarrel. Such men are not used to taking the initiative into their own hands; they tend to let the problem take its course. Such behavior is an example of psychological defense against conflict. This way of solving problems is characteristic of young people in whose families the authoritarian role was assigned to the mother. When entering into a relationship with a woman, a young man projects maternal behavior onto his girlfriend, fiancee, wife (underline as appropriate);
- The second type of “guilty” people like to shower their chosen one with gifts and flowers. Up to a certain point, this method causes awe in a woman. But if a man prefers to smooth out the situation with gifts, it’s worth considering! Typically, such men believe that it is easier to buy the affection of their beloved than to listen to another complaint. If your boyfriend is this type, you should think about whether he really cares about your feelings?
- The third type includes men who prefer to resolve conflicts within the bedroom. A sort of macho man who needs constant confirmation of his own need through physical intimacy. They do not like to take on the burden of responsibility and prefer to live in pleasure. Unable to achieve emotional intimacy with a partner, they replace it with physical intimacy.
- The fourth type of men are distinguished by their infantility. When quarreling, they prefer to imitate their partner, copying her behavior. Such men are easy-going and very difficult to offend. They turn a controversial situation into a joke, which in some cases is the best way out of the conflict.
- Finally, the fifth type. Finding out relationships with this type of man is like a meeting of Congress. They approach problematic issues with the utmost seriousness and can spend hours discussing the best ways to resolve the situation. This behavior is typical of strong, self-confident men who prefer to solve a problem in one fell swoop.