How to reliably find out that your wife is cheating and whether it is necessary

Loving people, when getting married, hope that their relationship will forever remain honest, pure, and that there will be no third person in it. Men, like women, are vulnerable in matters of fidelity, but often, tormented by doubts and suspicions, they do not know how to reliably find out whether their wife is cheating on them, and at the same time not destroy the love union. In this article we will try to answer the following questions:

• how to find out with 100% accuracy whether your wife is cheating?
• What are the main signs of betrayal?
• How to detect cheating?
• What to do if cheating has already happened?

First of all, you need to figure out why doubts about your wife’s fidelity crept in right now. What prompted your suspicions? There are rare cases when a woman looks away if everything is in order in the family. And therefore, in order to understand whether there could be betrayal, it is necessary to look at the relationship detachedly and objectively.

Signs your wife is cheating: Questionable behavior

How to determine (identify) your wife’s infidelity ? Signs of desire to serve and love are canceled. The wife’s behavior becomes dubious and unnatural in the presence of her husband:

• Periodically returns late from work;
• Urgent and sudden business trips (see Do wives cheat on business trips?);
• Increased inspired emotionality without explaining the reasons for its occurrence;
• Upon returning home, he looks excited (disheveled or with a different hairstyle than in the morning). The likelihood of a match depends on the spouse’s place of work;
• Always keeps a mobile phone with him, hides SMS correspondence or calls. When talking on the phone he gets nervous and does not allow access to social media. networks;
• Attempts to create a conflict (picks on words, things and actions, periodically threatening divorce (see Wife threatens divorce. What to do?));
• Touchy about a situation that she came up with herself (if this has not happened before);
• For a month or two he refuses intimacy (see: The wife does not want intimacy. What to do and what are the reasons?);
• Ask your friends, maybe someone saw her surrounded by another man;
• Doesn't tell you where he's going. Refuses to go on hikes, trips, or walks together;
• If a woman often raised her voice with or without reason, but now she has become loving, caring, and kind. This is also a signal, but that she has freed herself from her admirer (they broke up or realized that you are better).

The wife’s behavior after cheating differs from everyday behavior, so the focus should be on finding contradictions.

Spy options.

There is nothing more difficult than proving your wife’s infidelity. But! There have long been a great many opportunities on the Internet, among which are the following:

• Micro cameras (can be placed on outerwear, in any room, etc. so that no one notices (limited only by memory and charging life));
• Wiretapping (software for smartphones or a device built into the phone);
• Hiring a private detective with special equipment, as well as permission to conduct surveillance.

This is, of course, the very last resort. We do not recommend resorting to it, since we know about the consequences when a wife finds out that her own husband did not leave her any free space. Moreover, if it turns out that there is no betrayal and you, due to your own weaknesses, distant grievances and scars on your heart from previous women, are simply screwing yourself up, then in most cases, it will be difficult for your wife to “understand and forgive”.

Read: How to check your wife for cheating?

Signs of a wife’s betrayal, physiological and external

in recognizing a woman’s infidelity and feeling it. But proximity sends signals to the subconscious when changes are physically felt. Most often, it is possible to detect signs of a wife’s infidelity after a sexual pause of 7-21 days.

Among the factors that can be detected without sexual intercourse, psychologists identify the following:

• Bluish or red spots in the buttocks area;
• Microcracks and scratches on the face;
• There are blood spots or skin particles under the fingernails;
• Swelling in the neck near the ears.

As for the intimate area, an important aspect for analysis is the difference between the genital organs of the husband and a possible lover.

If the length and width do not differ, then you will have to understand this during entry. An important factor is the moisture content of the female genital organ. If this is not due to age and sexual illness, then dryness will indicate the act committed today.

External factors:

• Examine the appearance while your spouse is sleeping, while getting a massage, or in the shower. Take a look at the state of the wardrobe: the presence of new clothes, visual analysis of stains, identification of missing clothes suitable for wearing. If you find something missing, ask about it. You will see the answer in your eyes (you will learn how to identify a lie below);
• Inspect your spouse's clothes after work or guests. If you notice someone else's hair or torn stockings, think about where she was. Suspicion will increase the smell of wine if she has not previously notified you of her desire to drink, for example, with friends;
• The woman didn’t pay attention to her appearance for a year or two, but suddenly changed her mind. If you start wearing makeup a lot, modeling your eyebrows, shaving your legs and intimate area, think about it;
• Sniff to see if she smells of someone else's masculine scents. If it smells citrus, be wary as it is used in men's perfumes;
• Look at your face and skin condition (chin, cheeks, neck, lips). Not all men shave on time; some of them begin to shave in the evening. Therefore, light scratches remain on delicate skin when kissing.

At the moment when these first signs of wife's betrayal in behavior , there is no need to arrange interrogations, since they can create disputes without evidence.

Psychology. Why do women cheat on men?

Women's psychology is designed in such a way that betrayal occurs as a result of the emergence of feelings. As it happens, the one who is nearby becomes annoying, seems unpleasant, annoying. The forbidden man becomes a real treasure for her, which makes her inaccessible. If he still shows truly masculine qualities, the woman begins to fall in love. Such loves pass over time and bring disappointment. But for some time the woman is sure that this man is her only destiny.

Attributes suggestive of a lover

Before recognizing your wife’s infidelity through psychoanalysis, you should pay attention to everyday little things. They indirectly or directly indicate the early collapse of a marriage. The following circumstances and things will suggest the deformation of relations:

• The wife returned home with a bouquet of flowers, but the sparkle of happiness in her eyes resembles sexual satisfaction;
• New underwear was accidentally discovered in a woman’s closet, unknown to her husband. If it has a tag, it means it's new. Check after a while whether it was definitely purchased for an evening with you;
• The moments when he does not spend the night at home have become more frequent, and a means of contraception has been found. If close relatives appear in the arguments, but the arguments are vague, this is a clear sign. It is better to clarify the details;
• If you were always at home (in your usual state), but ran away after a strange call, this may also indicate a problem;
• The appearance of new things or jewelry that were not given to you. If the argument is suspicious or too banal, think about it.

Since a woman behaves suspiciously after betrayal (or fictitious betrayal), in order to recognize her, you need to resort to analysis. The methods described below will help with this. But in addition, it’s better to read: How to check your wife for cheating?

Let's look around.

Since it is almost impossible to prove that a wife cheated with another man, it is necessary to pay attention to the little things from the moment suspicions arise. Again, understand that the woman who cheated is ready in advance for all sorts of variations of the dialogue, so it is not recommended to start it on the day suspicions begin. In addition, try to dedicate conversations as little as possible to interpersonal problems (do not allow discord in relationships).

If your wife cheats on you for a short time, then she will be extremely vigilant and careful in dialogues, correspondence, attention, etc. If infidelity is a periodic event, she may relax and miss some points, for example:

• Doesn't change or wash underwear on time;
• Returns from a fictitious place on time (business meeting, gym workout, work...)
• Fails to delete correspondence via SMS or social media in a timely manner;
• Will not remove residual aroma of men's perfume from outerwear, underwear, etc.

Having felt all the signs, many men begin to take revenge and punish in a variety of ways. We have prepared excellent materials on this topic: How to take revenge on your wife for cheating? and How to punish a cheating wife?

If you are not ready to wait for some little thing to come to light, you can resort to the most serious measures to identify the misconduct. It will be discussed below.

Signs of a Cheating Wife: Propensity Analysis

In order to successfully understand and interpret the signs of a wife’s infidelity, it is worth analyzing her psychotype in order to search for inclinations. Psychoanalysis will make it possible to recognize in a woman a tendency to pay attention to other men and be attracted to them. If you know about the tendency to have casual or regular relationships on the side, you can interpret the signs of a woman’s infidelity . Otherwise, any little thing will be judged biasedly. Many men superimpose guesses on reality, which is already a pathology, so let’s begin. After all, we don't want to look stupid.

Parent example

Psychologists note that copying the behavior of parents in a child occurs from 0 to 6 years. Therefore, resorting to drill, aggression and suppression is prohibited. The child’s psyche is just beginning to develop. If its breakdown occurs at the beginning, a complex of consequences will follow. Polygamy included. Take the story of your parents as a basis. Are they divorced, have they caused suffering to each other...:

• Were the parents married? If not, then marriage can be understood by a woman as a prison. As a result, the sharp negativity that follows her tenderness may indicate a desire to become free;
• If they are divorced, which was a consequence of the divorce. If this is the father’s departure, then the remaining resentment against him gives the attitude: “This will not happen in my family, so I will honor the laws of marriage and family.” Your mother's mistake, with a high degree of probability, could be passed on to your wife. Moreover, she can repeat her fate. Also, the influence of the mother can create a different attitude: “I will take revenge on men,” so other aspects need to be considered;
• How often did your mother have new boyfriends? If so, then such behavior is entrenched in her subconscious, so there is a high risk of changing partners;
• Is it customary in their family to help each other, regardless of gender? The “Family – Seven I” attitude will work in your favor if turning left is frowned upon;
• Do grandmothers, mothers, sisters and other female relatives diminish the image of a man? Many women tend to treat men as a wallet or a servant. Opposition to this “law” ends in the search for new men, if the wife does not condemn it;
• Is the mother alone after the death of her father or divorce from him? The reason for loneliness is poor social development. Analyze your interaction with your wife for her softness, pliability and compromise. In addition, I recommend: Do truly loving wives cheat?

Father

If the wife is close to the father:

• Does he drink alcohol excessively? The reason for this may be disappointment in women. Meanwhile, if your wife is imbued with his pain and supports him, she is unlikely to cause you similar suffering;
• Doesn't he boast about the number of partners he had in his youth? The daughter's lack of reaction to her father's behavior may suggest indifference to the number of partners. This means that there is a risk of betrayal, but it is nevertheless low;
• Doesn't he resemble your personality? Are there similarities in appearance, mind and habits? If yes, then she will not dare to upset you.

You should approach the analysis of known facts from childhood with a cool head. This will prevent past events from being biased in favor of suspicion.

Moral analysis with a focus on physiology

When assessing a woman’s behavior after cheating , you need to look at the difference “before and after.” In addition, reliance is placed on age and past. Over the years (from 35 years old), a woman’s physiological functions weaken. They affect appearance and sexual function, which is the basis for the absence or infrequency of meetings with other men. Knowing your wife's past (from 14 to 25 years old) is necessary to assess her actions, desires and regrets. Before the midlife crisis (35-40 years), women’s views on life do not change, so mistakes are excluded. With the help of this knowledge, you can determine how a cheating wife behaves .

A person under 20 years of age is considered to be a poorly mastered personality. During these years, the person is ready to solve problems, but does not know how to do this. Conclusion: if her family was deformed, then she acquired skills in society. But he cannot be considered ideal, so mistakes in relationships with men are possible.

If you haven't asked about your spouse's past before, ask about these facts:

• Has she ever cheated on her ex-boyfriends? If yes, under what conditions? Was the betrayal intentional or spontaneous, conscious or impulsive, accidental or typical of her behavior? Does he regret this fact?
• Have guys cheated on her? What was her reaction to the news? How long did you suffer? Is the resentment still there?
• Have her friends cheated on their boyfriends? Who does she think is right in those dramas?
• Have you been intimate in the past without love or commitment? How do you feel about such entertainment? If the information shakes your nervous system, read: A jealous wife of the past. What to do?)

Be careful with questions if you are afraid of hearing answers you are not prepared for. After all, your opinion about your spouse may change so much that you immediately want to get a divorce. Moreover, you will not compare with your past. This is a dangerous practice, so choose only one range of questions. The answers should form an opinion about her moral health. But rely on the information that will help you identify the signs of your wife's infidelity with accuracy.

Why did your wife have to cheat on you? Interaction Analysis

Cheating is a consequence of a bad relationship. Therefore, before analyzing the behavior of a wife who is cheating on her husband , you should pay attention to the man’s attitude towards her. Trust, empathy and openness of partners without mutual fear of reactions is intimate unity. If the spouses have achieved it, then excuses, for example: “We’ve become boring”, “It’s become boring”... - do not work.

In the practice of therapists, it was found that 78% of infidelity occurs through the fault of both partners, so the man’s guilt cannot be denied (see Why do wives cheat on their husbands?). Understanding the uselessness and impracticality of everyday life and living with a loved (or unloved) person comes to every spouse. It depends on the number and severity of conflicts. The more seriously the blow is dealt by each side, the deeper the resentment. As a result, against such an emotional background, the desire to live in harmony disappears. In the end, both close and domestic chaos ensues. Due to daily stress, both bodies release enormous amounts of the hormone cortisol. As a result of such a shake-up, you don’t need anything other than a TV and a phone, you don’t feel emotions at all. Women eat their stress with chocolate, men drink alcohol and try to find signs of their wife’s infidelity, being jealous of every post. But the person whose self-esteem is lowered at home with great zeal is more likely to commit treason.

Fear of appearing weak is the main reason for intransigence and unwillingness to end the conflict. With bed dissatisfaction, pride prevents you from asking for what will bring more pleasure. Most believe that marriage is about achieving a goal. Therefore, after a victory, many stop playing the game “I give you - You give me.” No one protects you from new hobbies and fleeting “love” and neighborly relationships arise. It follows that before wondering how a wife behaves if she cheated on her husband , look at yourself from the outside:

• Have you become the hero of a leftist novel?
• If so, don't you think the wife could understand it? She could take revenge by cheating (see Why do wives forgive their husbands for cheating?)
• Do you follow the rules of the family institution?
• Don't you treat a woman like a servant?

Remember! A woman's action is the result of a man's attitude.

Men don't often show emotions

Especially after marriage, when the wife is at your side, already your own. Many men forget to compliment their partner, admire her beauty and other qualities. Most husbands take for granted all the household chores that their beloved bears - cooking, cleaning, ironing. It is rare that any husband is ready to simply say “thank you” for what his wife does for him. In contrast here is a man who is ready to admire every step, her action, he likes everything - isn’t this a reason to change?

Early marriage

In Russia and other Slavic countries, girls still strive to get married as quickly as possible. Often such marriages are carried out hastily, the partners have no time to get to know each other. Because of this, disappointments subsequently begin in family life. If a young girl is not satisfied with her husband emotionally, morally or physically, then she takes an example from her unmarried friends - she begins to go out;

the Forbidden fruit

Whatever one may say, the saying about the forbidden fruit is still relevant. Over time in a relationship or marriage, many women reconsider their principles. But if earlier betrayal was not even thought of, then with the coming of time it becomes a desired action;

"Herd instinct"

No matter how rude it may sound, such feelings often push a woman into infidelity. Various factors lead to this - statements, actions of friends, mass propaganda of unhealthy behavior through media channels, or something else. The result is the same - the wife takes a lover.

How can you tell if a wife is cheating on her husband with certainty? Psychotherapy. Reaction Analysis

Signs of a wife’s betrayal are easy to detect in the eyes and facial expressions when asking a question, knowing the female type of temperament. A fake reaction will indicate the presence of hidden facts in her mind. But a man will feel the difference in the case when the issue of his wife’s misconduct has already been discussed and resolved. By the way, it's not just about betrayal. It also cannot be ruled out that some women, for example, do not consider kissing another man a step towards intimacy.

Let's divide women into three categories:

1. Prone to polygamy, looks at it as the norm of human behavior;
2. I managed to change it, but admitted the mistake. In order to prevent a repetition, through pangs of conscience she herself suppresses the innate desire. Of course, this inspires respect, so if this is your case, read: How to forgive your wife for cheating?;
3. She does not understand the motive of the traitors, condemns them, and is unable to imagine herself in this role.

Each category falls under a specific temperament or a mixture of them and indicates a stable form of behavior. Based on it, you can determine lies using profiling and comparing facts with what was said. Profiling is an analysis of facial reactions to a set of questions related to a situation that is incomprehensible to a man.

How to understand (determine) whether your wife is cheating ? Start from afar, but build the conversation in such a way as to relax and win over your wife’s mind. Spend 30-50 minutes remembering moments from the bouquet and candy period. Add phrases to the dialogue that elevate her persona. At the same time, start talking about your experiences about the period where signs of female infidelity . To make the attack invisible, do not blame, talk only about yourself, then you will avoid conflict. We will return to this, then you will have to determine her temperament, and later learn to recognize a lie by facial expressions and gestures.

Temperaments

• Choleric (explosive) - trying to hide a mistake, he will restrain his ardor in the initial stages. Then he will create an image of a victim, and when he is convinced that they have begun to believe her, he will launch a verbal attack. If there was no betrayal, there will be no moral pressure;
• Melancholic (tearful, flexible) - “good” tears will speak about wine. However, if he wants to hide the fact, he will leave the conversation and be offended. If she is pure in front of her husband, she will sympathize with him, try to calm him down, and honestly tell him in detail about the events of the dubious day;
• Sanguine (open, carefree) - will not make excuses or hide the fact of betrayal. However, if the nervous situation grows, he will hurry to escape. If she’s not guilty, she won’t try to convince her otherwise. She believes that a couple of words are enough, and mistrust is the husband’s problem.
• Phlegmatic (calm, stable) - traitors are rarely found among them, since they prefer to devote themselves more to mental work than to physical work. Understanding the consequences, they rarely make mistakes, but there are exceptions.

In the human psyche, nature has a predisposition to each temperament, so it is difficult to determine. The psychotype adapts to the external environment and is therefore changeable. Based on this, you need to analyze behavioral reactions over the past 3 months. Then compare with those that appear during the dialogue.

Profiling: Behavior

The result of detecting lie signals will be influenced by a complex of chaotic emotions. Together with them, gestures, facial expressions, breathing, body movements and even voice are subject to evaluation. Moreover, you will also need to analyze the order of words, pauses between them and random phrases that indirectly resemble signs of your wife’s infidelity. Most profilers videotape interrogations for more thorough analysis, so you may want to set up a video camera ahead of time. Try to include the whole wife in the frame, since the face is not always enough.

There is no point in analyzing choleric and melancholic, since their behavior is understandable. They are distinguished from the rest by an increased degree of emotional fluctuation (explosion of emotions). It is more difficult to work with phlegmatic (calm) and sanguine (active) people. They are difficult to succumb to outbursts and are in a constant mental state, so the lie is barely noticeable.

Detecting lies during interrogation

As stated earlier, we need to look for the difference between ordinary and strange. Among acting forms of behavior, psychodiagnosticians, profilers and physiologists note:

• Careless statements, evasive answers. A cheater can ask the question: “Am I a w**** or something?”, thus the idea is formed in the male mind: “Since she is not a w****, that means she didn’t cheat!”, and makes excuses for her behavior It’s not the wife who needs it anymore;
• Dispute off topic, avoidance of conversation. Famous female phrases: “Did you take my phone? Who gave you the right?”, “You have nothing to do?”, “I’m busy, I need to work! Don’t be distracted by trifles!”, or even at the slightest pressure, a woman runs away from home with the far-fetched idea of ​​waiting for her husband to calm down;
• Reservation. Every man has heard: “Okay! If you think that I cheated on you, consider it!”; What is more suggestive of treason is the confusion of facts;
• Frequent pauses during unexpected questions, the answers to which could not be prepared in advance. If she lies and cheated, it means she is not able to predict her husband’s questions. A pause is needed to re-think thoughts so that the legend has coherence;
• Speech errors, extra syllables, repetitions of words (hmm, um, uh-huh, well, uh, I, I, I mean that I...);
• Excessive gesticulation. For example, a shrug of the shoulders is replaced by raising the eyebrows, lowering the eyelids and giving the mouth a horseshoe shape when a person does not know something. But if gesticulation includes facial expressions, and in addition the palms, head and body movements are used, this indicates a fear of being caught. Hence the conclusion: lies are more actively demonstrated in the body;
• Strengthening the protective functions of the nervous system. Changes in the frequency of breathing, blinking, swallowing, increased intensity of sweating. These functions “turn on” a pale pink complexion and dilate the pupils.

Profiling: Facial expressions

Since you can find out about your wife’s infidelity by facial expressions by analyzing specific conditions, we will highlight six:

1. Sadness. Appears in case of influence of hidden guilt for a couple of seconds. However, its subsequent concealment indicates a lie or fear of looking weak;
2. Sadness, frustration, guilt. The facial expressions are similar to the first one, it is easier for you to determine by the presence of folds on the forehead. A liar will not fake it;
3. Fear, anxiety, apprehension. It is distinguished by shifted, raised eyebrows, tense lower and raised upper eyelids. An inexperienced liar is not capable of deliberately causing facial expressions, although he can control his eyelids. However, trying to hide an emotion will not affect the position of the eyebrows;
4. Anger. Counterfeited;
5. Astonishment. Counterfeited;
6. Scared smile. A mixture of fear or apprehension will happily reveal itself with knitted eyebrows.

Facial signs that the wife is cheating are the movements of the facial muscles that are not combined with emotion when interrogated by the husband. If the fear and sadness are not supported by wrinkles in the forehead as shown in the image, blush and increased tone, then it is a lie. If the first reaction is surprise, and the next is anger, sadness or sadness, and there is no excessive sweating, swallowing and pauses in the story, then there has been no betrayal. It's simple!

First, try to justify the signs of your wife’s infidelity yourself in order to weed out preconceived notions. Don’t try the picture from your thoughts onto reality, because you will make yourself look like a fool. Next, create a range of questions to understand where the premonition comes from. After the dialogue and identified inconsistencies in reactions, compare the facts with what your wife said. It is important to both find out and determine that a wife is cheating on her husband , and to understand whether she is gnawed by guilt. After all, it depends on what decision the husband will make after dialogue and analysis (see Should I forgive my wife’s infidelity?).

Test to identify female infidelity

In conclusion, I would like to say that excessive paranoia is the result of a man’s low self-esteem. Therefore, a man’s constant search for a lover from his wife more often ends in his appearance or divorce. Understand yourself and think about where the thoughts about betraying your wife came from. Next, I suggest you take a test, and it will help determine the likelihood of betrayal.

If the result does not please you, read: My wife cheated. What to do?

1. Are you tired of your relationship?

2. Constantly accuses you of ruining something (her figure, her life, she wanted to become a ballerina...)

3. When you call, does he often hang up?

4. Do you often point out her shortcomings?

5. Upon returning home, does he suddenly run to the shower?

6. Do you often ask to attend women’s meetings? (doesn't take you with him)

7. If you think she's wrong, you

8. Does your appearance often remind you that it has become worse than before your marriage?

9. Does your attention often appear in her direction?

10. If you come home from work angry or tired

11. Is he trying to protect his social media accounts from your supervision?

12. How often are your relationships confirmed in the bedroom?

13. Have you ever cheated on her yourself?

14. Does your wife leave the room during single telephone conversations?

15. You go together, she

This concludes the article on how to learn and understand how to identify and identify signs of a wife’s infidelity. Good luck in your search for the truth!

Let's listen to the heart.

How to prove your wife's infidelity? In the case described above, you can only rely on the signs of betrayal. Yes, they exist, moreover, they can tell us the expected sequence of a woman’s actions:

1. Carrying out tidying;
2. Conducting consultation;
3. Proximity;
4. Shower.

Continue to study the topic of evidence in the articles: How to determine the betrayal of your wife? and Why do women cheat?, and How to get your wife to admit to cheating? and Do wives cheat on business trips?

In fact, the neurosis that a man may feel can be justified. The fact is that when a man and a woman are together for quite a long time, a connection is established between them on a physical level. If the connection is somehow broken, one of the opponents will feel it strongly. Violent paranoia (persecution mania) may set in, followed by a nervous state.

In the case described above, our hero cannot physically be near his wife, so he is unable to refute the thoughts associated with betrayal. We listen to the heart, if the wife is pure, she will tell the whole truth from beginning to end, and will also reveal the reason why she decided to resort to deception. In this case, you need to refer to your internal wounds, due to which there is uncertainty in your wife, and not look for an answer to the question “How to prove your wife’s infidelity?” If you find signs, then move away from them, a link to the relevant article has been provided.