4 steps to get out of a hopeless situation + “super advice”

Loss of loved ones

Death is inevitable. At some point in life, we lose someone we love and it seems impossible to cope with the pain and continue living without them. This is a huge grief, and not everyone can cope with it.

If you are trying to deal with the death of someone you love, don't be in denial. Accept this fact and realize that this is one of the stages of life. This does not mean that you should forget your loved ones who are gone forever. Keep them in mind, but make sure you move on. Your life will end one day too, so live it to the fullest.

Find the right solution in a difficult situation.

Quite often in life we are faced with a difficult situation when it is difficult to find the right solution or the correctness of one of the solutions is not obvious. Advice from loved ones and all kinds of acquaintances, recommendations on how best to act specifically in your situation can only complicate matters even more, because sometimes they are contradictory or do not coincide with your desires. There are no universal recipes, but the following few theses and rules that always work will help to best resolve the controversial situation.

In order not to regret a decision or doubt its correctness after some time, you need to abstract yourself from the current situation. And to do this, you need to remember your main values and the priority goals arising from them. It is quite possible that not all of your decisions will be consistent with your values and serve the benefit of vital goals, but at least they should not contradict them.
No matter how difficult, intractable, or even tragic the circumstances may seem, you need to ask the question: “What good can this situation give me?” In any situation, in any combination of events, there is something vitally necessary for you right now, otherwise they would not have arisen. We, one way or another, create all situations in life ourselves, provoking them with previously made decisions and views on life, ourselves and others. In order not to wander in eternal uncertainty, the universe periodically gives us feedback to further adjust our thoughts, views and actions. What exists now can be viewed as the least possible evil or as a challenge, a new step for personal growth.
To find the strength and wisdom to resolve this situation in the best possible way, remember what qualities and properties attract you most in other people. It is these character traits that you now more than need - you need to find them in yourself, allow them to express themselves, develop them and educate them. To take control of the situation and not need to control others, it is enough to control yourself.
It would be a mistake to constantly strive to avoid troubles and problems. Firstly, by concentrating on troubles, we tend to attract them into our lives, and secondly, this distracts attention from the main desired goal. Therefore, the most sensible thing is to independently imagine the best scenario for your life and move in the chosen direction, without fear of difficulties. They are inevitable, but surmountable.
In many ways, you should like what you do, how, where, in what environment you live. This is a necessary condition for happiness and the rule of happy people. Based on what makes you happy in your life, with an adequate positive assessment of yourself, you can successfully change what does not suit you.
Forget about your shortcomings, focus on your strengths, develop them and improve them. Remember that there are no people without shortcomings; the true value of a person is in his demonstrated abilities and developed inclinations. Especially in difficult situations, remember your previous achievements and previously correctly made decisions; they will motivate you to behave similarly now.
To learn to accept yourself and your not-so-best qualities, start treating yourself with humor. After all, humor relieves tension, gives a break and helps to look at difficulties painlessly and objectively. And, by the way, as you know, there are no completely negative character traits; what you consider bad and unworthy can also be put to the best use. When you think, you will definitely remember cases in life in which something that you tend to criticize about yourself was useful to you.
Don’t change your goals, but adjust your behavior in a timely manner; what helped before may no longer have the same power. Change the means, subgoals, but not the main goal itself - to live happily! Try to be here and now as much as possible, to be flexible and attentive in order to correctly interpret what is happening. And do not attach too much knowledge to the criticism of others, no matter what you do, everyone interprets based on their experience, values and tends to see in others what is in themselves. And he does not see what is not inherent to him.
Whatever non-standard or ambiguous situation you find yourself in, imagine at least three more or less suitable ways out of difficulties. Sometimes we get fixated on one or two valid ways to solve a problem, without noticing the others. The more options, even incredible ones, you can come up with and name, the more confident you will feel and the easier it will be to find the right solution among all the possible ones.
No matter how hard, painful, or sad you feel, remember that nothing lasts forever: day gives way to night, sunny weather turns to rainy. Learn to treat difficulties as temporary, especially since they are so. It is the black stripes that help us fully appreciate the best moments of our lives. A positive attitude, hope for the best and self-confidence are often decisive in overcoming difficulties.

Find the right solution in a difficult situation.

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Serious illness

A healthy lifestyle cannot prevent all diseases. If you are trying to navigate a long and stressful road to recovery, it is important not to lose faith. There is a reason why some people recover from serious illness while others die. It's all because of their faith and positive attitude.

You need to believe in recovery, think positively and do what makes you happy, even if you are in a hospital bed. This will help you get through a difficult life situation and learn to live with your illness if it is incurable.

What does “difficult life situation” mean?

TLC can be characterized as neediness in the sphere of social existence. If a citizen has a need in material, housing or socio-psychological terms and cannot get out of it without the support of the state, then it is considered that he is in a difficult life situation (situation).

Concept in law

The state in Federal Law No. 195 of the Russian Federation of December 10, 1995 “On the fundamentals of social services for the population in the Russian Federation,” based on paragraph 4 of Article 3, defines that a difficult life situation is such circumstances in which a person’s life activity as a citizen , violated due to objective reasons. At the same time, the legislation considers one of the criteria to be the inability to independently resolve the current critical situation.

The following factors may be considered the reason for this:

illness or disability;
senile incapacity or loneliness;
abuse of children by parents, as well as their absence (one or both);
lack of own housing or a specific place to live.

This rightfully includes unemployment or low-income families (individual citizens).

Important! Unemployment, as one of the conditions of the current housing cooperative agreement, is today the reason that causes the inability to pay a mortgage. As a result of late bank payments, the creditor seizes the apartment to pay off the debt, thereby complicating the difficult situation with the lack of housing and money for living.

Another option for designating a difficult situation in the lives of citizens can be read in Federal Law No. 178 “On State Social Assistance” (as amended on November 23, 2018). There, TLC is defined as one or more circumstances that worsen the living conditions of citizens, and consequences that they cannot cope with on their own.

The concept of THS

Job loss

Nowadays, for many, losing a job means the end of life. Why? Yes, it seems scary at first glance. You have to pay bills, buy food and clothes. But hey, it's not the end of the world. There are many other jobs waiting for you.

Give yourself time, update your resume and start looking for a new job. Instead of feeling hopeless, feel motivated and focused on achieving better results.

How to find your dream job

Phrases for someone who has quarreled with loved ones

A quarrel with dear people is a situation that requires delicacy in statements. Below are some examples:

It’s sad that you had a fight, but what happened cannot be changed, which means you need to think about how to correct the situation in the present. Someone who is dear can sometimes offend, but close people are distinguished by their connection and understanding. The main thing is to take a step towards reconciliation in time;
Of course, harsh statements from loved ones hurt, because there is no protective shell against them. But relatives must be able to forgive, and besides, they know each other well. If you calm down and think carefully, you will find a way to make peace;
Don't worry so much! This is not the first time this happens, you know that you are dear to each other. This means that everything will be fine and you will definitely make peace.

Unrequited love

Parting is painful, and for some, it is like death. Many people suffer greatly due to unrequited love or failed relationships. As painful as it may be, don't let a breakup ruin your life.

Focus on your loved ones, improve your professional skills, travel and find things you are passionate about. Self-improvement is always great. Plus, you won't be alone forever and there will be someone who will make you happier than you were in your previous relationship.

25 steps to reinvent yourself

Help in difficult life situations

Among difficult life situations, social protection authorities pay the closest attention to dysfunctional families where the child suffers from a lack of understanding on the part of the parents. Particular attention is paid to low-income and single-parent families in which a teenager misses school due to low financial status.

In this case, the state, in accordance with the provisions approved by law, can take the following measures:

monetary assistance in the form of subsidies, various compensations and pensions (for loss of a breadwinner, disability, etc.);
improvement of living conditions;
free psychological support;
rehabilitation medical care in special institutions: sanatoriums, dispensaries and rehabilitation and other health centers;
assistance in obtaining further education on a budgetary basis.

In particularly difficult situations, where the participants are minor children, the guardianship and trusteeship authorities are involved in solving the problem. In Russia, this is a special state executive body that controls the treatment of children.

Attention! The main goal of assistance in a difficult situation is to help the person in need adapt to the new prevailing living conditions and stabilize the situation.

Adaptation can be either favorable (the individual takes an active position) or unfavorable (the person simply adapts).

A person who finds himself in a difficult life situation can count on outside help. In order to cope with problems and stabilize his life, a citizen must make his contribution in the form of working on himself to acquire an active life position.

Midlife crisis and aging

Aging goes hand in hand with death and it is not easy to accept both of these facts, but so far humanity has not figured out how to avoid this. As we age, we change physically and mentally. We see the first wrinkles and gray hairs and experience age-related diseases and low energy levels.

A midlife crisis occurs between the early 40s and mid 50s, and this is the time for you to decide how to cope with it. You can become discouraged and let depression stop you from enjoying life, or ignore the midlife crisis and aging and follow your dreams. Getting older is no fun, but dwelling on it is a waste of time.

Type #6: Hot-tempered relative

Distinctive features. I think everything is clear here: such a relative is instantly ready to plunge into conflict.

How does it work? The “hot-tempered relative” usually justifies himself by forgetting about the conflict as quickly as he provokes it. After a short time, he can behave as if nothing had happened.

How to communicate with a “hot-tempered relative.” First, at the moment of an outbreak, it is best not to escalate the conflict. Saying “Calm down” or “I won’t let you talk to me like that” can only make the irritation worse.

Talk to the “hot-tempered relative” a little more quietly than he speaks to you, and a little slower, gradually lower the volume, then he will also begin to calm down (I’ll immediately emphasize that here we are talking about a person who is within the mental norm).

After the incident has been resolved, the next day or during your first communication with him, be sure to return to the unpleasant situation and say that such behavior is unacceptable for you and you will move away and avoid such incidents. The seriousness of your intentions can be confirmed by action: temporarily reduce communication with your “hot-tempered relative.”

Loss of property

Whether it's a natural disaster, an accident or a robbery, losing property is one of life's most difficult situations. You work tirelessly, take out loans to buy a house, car and other necessary things, so it is not surprising that when you lose something, you feel unhappy.

Remember, health is wealth. Don't overexert yourself. Stress causes illness. The last thing you want when coping with the loss of your property is to lose your health. Learn from mistakes and move on, even if you have to work harder than ever.

Phases of living through a difficult situation

Conflict of interest - what kind of situation is it?

When overcoming difficult moments in life, a person goes through several stages. They depend on the degree of social adaptation of the individual and life competence (knowledge). They can be divided into the following several phases:

unconscious knowledge - the experience a citizen has that he uses in non-problematic life situations;
unconscious ignorance - the use of habitual competence in an already changed situation, which cannot give the expected result, but the person does not yet understand this;
conscious ignorance - searching for an alternative, accumulating information, trying to make internal restructuring and understand one’s capabilities;
conscious knowledge is the moment when the direction of action is determined, but its implementation has not yet been brought to automaticity and occurs through a set of trials, errors and analysis of the results.

When using conscious knowledge (competence), a person gains experience that gives him the opportunity to remain in the phase of unconscious knowledge in the future. This allows you to put any difficult life situation on the level of everyday life and solve it.

Model of adaptation to THS

Words of support when a loved one dies

The death of loved ones shocks people, stress muffles the perception of other people's consolations. You cannot change what happened, but you should express sympathy with these phrases .

Here are some formulations for such critical moments:

I really sympathize with you! I wish you more strength to withstand this blow and not get lost in your emotions. If you want to talk or express yourself, I will listen to you at any time;
I'm very sorry, I sympathize with you! He (she) was a wonderful and sincere person, his passing is a shock to everyone who considered themselves his (her) friends. But it’s hard to even imagine what you’re experiencing. Hold on... If you need my help or support, just tell me;
Please accept our condolences, this news came as a shock. We remember and will always remember him (her) as an extraordinary and kind person who knew how to change any situation for the better with his presence. May his (her) memory be blessed;
Hold on! The pain of such a loss cannot be drowned out by any words of consolation. But you need to try so that the memory of him (her) is filled with the brightest feelings. We cannot overcome death, but I believe that it is not the end point. It is unlikely that he (she) would want your days to be filled with sadness and sorrow. Let your memories of him (her) be the most tender and warm;
Our sincere condolences! There are no words to ease the bitterness of such a loss; we can only wish you endurance and mental strength. We will always remember him (her) warmly, keeping in our memory all the good things associated with him (her).

For some people, using ready-made words of encouragement in difficult times seems somehow wrong. But without time to think, it’s not easy to find words on your own. It is important to carefully re-read the selected phrase before submitting it to avoid any inconsistencies.

Helping someone experiencing apathy

Apathy is a decrease in a person’s intellectual, behavioral, and emotional activity.

Very often, when a person finds himself in an emergency situation, he experiences such difficult experiences that he is unable to immediately comprehend what has happened. The state of apathy in such cases is a form of psychological anesthesia.

Helping a person in a state of apathy:

If there is such a possibility, then it is necessary to give the apathy reaction the opportunity to take place and provide the victim with rest and comfortable conditions.
In the absence of such an opportunity, it is important to help him get out of the current state gently.
Moderate physical activity (simple exercises, walking together), drinking tea together will be effective.
You should talk to him, ask him simple questions that show that you are concerned about his well-being.
Make it clear that the state of apathy that he is experiencing is a normal reaction to the circumstances that have arisen.
If the apathy reaction is allowed to take place, a person will be able to understand what happened in a mode that is comfortable for him.

The following actions should be avoided:

You cannot call for calm and encourage him to pull himself together using moral standards as arguments.
You should not stop the state of apathy unless absolutely necessary, pull him out of such a state.

Everyone should know how to comfort a person.

Help with fear

It is important not to leave the victim alone, as this will make it harder for him to bear this feeling.
If the power of fear is so great that it can paralyze, you need to ask him to do a few simple actions: hold his breath for as long as possible, and then try to focus on slow, calm breathing.
The next technique is based on the idea that fear is also an emotion, and any emotion can be weakened by engaging in mental activity. That is, you can try to offer a person simple intellectual actions, for example, subtracting from 100 by 6.
When fear subsides, you should talk to him about what scared him. It is important not to stir up emotions, but to give the opportunity to speak out. It is necessary to make it clear that fear in the current situation is a normal reaction.