It doesn't take much intelligence to win a man. Men love attention, which means that the more all kinds of goodies, the sooner he begins to eat from his hands. Unfortunately, wives often forget about this. They ignore their spouse for years, believing that he already gets enough. Well, what else does he need? Dressed, shod, washed, fed, served in bed (whether it’s first class is a question!).
And, as a result, the poor fellow, the husband, is forgotten and abandoned in the broad sense of this concept. And then she enters the arena: sensitive, cheerful, ready to go to the ends of the earth, always waiting and an incredible dreamer in the bedroom. And the man faces the eternal question: wife or mistress?
What does a wife mean in a man’s life?
Marrying a certain woman rarely happens by accident. Well, it doesn’t happen that a man got married by accident. Even if the stamp in the passport appeared “by chance,” there is a logical explanation for it: a long and confidential intimate life. If a man does not trust a woman and does not see her as the mother of his children, then he is unlikely to have unprotected sex.
Even if so, he will simply run away in the morning and leave no contact. But those who love their girlfriend nobly take her to the registry office. So the conclusion is obvious: a man marries consciously. He is firmly confident that this marriage will last until the end of time, children will grow up, grandchildren will delight their elderly everyday life, and they will die on the same day.
A wife gives a man a feeling of stability, a foundation under his feet, a reliable rear behind his back. With the skillful guidance of his wife, a man grows professionally. He opens up, and as he approaches maturity, he manages to achieve everything. In general, a wife is the personification of peace and comfort. But is it really so?
Sometimes a wife manages to kill what a man so dreamed of. Yes, yes, all men are great dreamers. They are romantic to a fault. They, no worse than women, describe to themselves all the delights of marriage and attach great importance to this step. And suddenly, all their dreams collapse in an instant. The wife simply becomes the “buryer of the hearth.” Here are some before and after examples:
- Before:
Before the wedding, all young ladies are the same. They are cheerful, kind, gentle, ready to experiment in bed, and even if they are shy about something, they courageously overcome their embarrassment. Pots and rags are not in the first place; girls easily go hiking, fishing, or just for an exciting walk around the city. They enjoy going to the cinema. They look good and smell delicious. In general, the standard of a woman for marriage.
- After.
But “after” the trash begins! There are 4 main types of women: the eccentric hitchhiker, the lazy caterpillar, the pretentious mamzel, the whore. What is their essence?
- An eccentric hitchhiker. It’s good and fun to be with her until a stamp appears in the passport. But with the advent of one, nothing changes: there are no cutlets, clean shirts even more so, the floors have forgotten what a rag and water are, and the appearance leaves much to be desired: eternal jeans and sneakers, a plaid shirt and a backpack do not add femininity and sophistication. It’s good if she doesn’t go to another “a la hippie” sect. However, such an event is predictable, due to the complete ignorance of the spouse. It’s okay if he’s on the same wavelength and the same tramp, but what if not? Then he will sit at home, and she will wander from one seminar to another across the country. It's good if she gives birth. But even then, most likely, the child will either be abandoned to her husband and grandmothers, or will crawl through the meadows with her bare bottom while her mother writes down the next prayers to the sun and recipes for eating raw carrots.
- Lazy caterpillar. Distributed everywhere. Having received the coveted stamp in the passport, he begins a long and imperceptible transformation in retrospect. That is, from a butterfly to a caterpillar. She fulfills her feminine duties, but without much enthusiasm, while elevating them to the rank of feat and dedication. The menu is classic; in the factory canteen there is much more variety. There is a gradual degradation due to the flow of TV series and talk shows. Conversations with such a wife come down to discussing the next Juan Carlos or the neighbor Valka the fool from whom the goat man ran away. The house is boring and stuffy. Walks end with a change of surname: there is so much to do at home, what kind of movie?! Appearance gradually wears off: makeup only on holidays, hair at the same time. The figure gradually floats, and after 3 – 5 years of marriage, there is a “bulldozer” nearby: “well, what?! I gave birth!” And little does she know that she is losing her glasses at cosmic speed. What about intimacy? Blowjobs are a thing of the distant past (I’m a decent lady, not a pervert), acrobatic sketches are being replaced by “sandwich”, exclusively on Saturdays, and in general, she has no time to have sex, she makes geniuses out of children and is wildly tired at work. The classic excuse: the husband is a freak himself, where are the compliments, where is the attention, where are the flowers and chocolate?! Somewhere... there, in the distant past, with that cheerful girl whom he fell in love with before marriage.
- Pathetic mamzel. They say about such wives that she is super! The house is tidy, there are 33 dishes in the refrigerator, prepared under the strict guidance of the chef, albeit from a TV project, but it doesn’t matter, because the fried shrimp in a creamy sauce with al dente pasta turned out amazing. She has a chiseled figure and gets a lot of attention in the gym. The makeup is professional and does not wash off even at night. Such wives manage to swim in the sea, jump on the waves and still maintain their hair. The children are well-schooled and at the age of three they read “Onegin” by heart. My husband has arrows on his trousers: you can cut yourself. But the trouble is that there is no warmth, no participation, everything is cold, as if in the palace of the “Snow Queen”.
- Broody. This is something between a caterpillar and a mamzel. A sort of combination of all the signs. There is makeup and hairstyle, but it’s clumsy. The food is prepared, but the variety is poor. The figure has blurred, but she is endlessly dieting. Mom’s best friend and she spends the whole weekend there, although without her husband, who is alone drinking beer while watching an action movie. There is sex, and even with some games. But everything is bland and without enthusiasm.
It is difficult to be an ideal wife, no doubt about it. But some people succeed, some manage! True, this is not what this is about.
Prohibited technique: what not to do
When analyzing how to get rid of your mistress, you first need to figure out what you shouldn’t do to solve this problem. You should not take steps that will only worsen the situation. The main recommendation on how to defeat your mistress is to act extremely carefully and delicately.
Grandmothers, witches, fortune tellers and magicians - for self-hypnosis and nothing more
Sorcerers, magicians, fortune tellers and soothsayers seem to many women to be an effective solution to the problem if they do not know how to get rid of the annoying mistress of their cheating husband forever. To believe or not to believe in black magic and psychic abilities of individuals is the choice of each person. But before you go for a consultation with such a specialist, you should clearly understand that it is virtually impossible to verify the validity and plausibility of his actions. Money spent on conducting a session or inducing damage or hexing will be wasted, and the result is unlikely to be noticeable.
Fortune tellers and grandmothers promise deliverance from rivals. They claim that they know how to drive away the hated mistress of their beloved husband forever. But if you look at their activities objectively, you can understand that their services are an attempt to profit from someone else’s grief, to make money from a woman who was betrayed, offended and left unprotected.
To organize total bullying is to harm yourself
Here is another technique that women often turn to in attempts to somehow discourage their husband from his mistress. It consists in organizing a war against a rival and not giving her access.
READ How to survive your husband's betrayal and save your family: advice from a psychologist
It is important to understand that not every woman is aware of her role as a mistress; she simply could not know about the existence of a wife or family. As a result, no matter how much you want to believe in the holiness of your betrothed and the meanness of his new hobby, in most cases the man is to blame for the betrayal. It was he who made this decision, so there is no need to justify it. Another thing is that every person has the right to make a mistake.
As for bullying a rival, this approach to solving the problem will not be effective. The likelihood that such tactics will not help is much higher than the chances of defeating your husband’s cunning mistress and getting him back.
Insults on social networks and threats of physical violence resemble the behavior of a crazy woman, not a wise and adequate lady. In the eyes of the husband and those around him, the mistress and husband will look like victims of the actions of an aggressive vixen. What you really shouldn't do is create a reputation for being a grumpy bitch.
Even if we omit the factor of condemnation from society, it is worth thinking about how a mistress might react to such actions. It would be naive to believe that she will decide to leave the man. Most likely, she will simply turn to law enforcement agencies, where no one will fall for the excuse “my husband abandoned me.” You will have to compensate for the damage or pay a fine for the physical and moral damage caused.
READ Wife cheats on her husband with his friends: causes and consequences of double betrayal
It's almost impossible to have a heart-to-heart talk.
Wise women, for whom swearing, arguing and quarrels are not an option, know how to push an annoying mistress away from her lawful husband without a scandal. This approach consists of a heart-to-heart conversation and the search for a compromise. The conversation should take place not between spouses, but between the wife and her rival. Of course, I want to believe in the conscientiousness of my mistress (if such a thing is possible), but even if she opens a dialogue, it is not a fact that the secrets and revelations on the part of the wife will not be ridiculed.
The cruelty factor of people should always be taken into account. It would seem that you approach her with a pure heart and soul, but she humiliates and gloats. Yes, this is also possible, so it is better not to take such desperate steps.
What does a mistress mean in a man’s life2
And then, against the backdrop of a measured life that rolls along the beaten path, suddenly out of nowhere, she appears: young, cheerful, eccentric. Free from obligations. It’s easy and free with her, there are no problems with her, and what she does in bed is incomprehensible to the mind. Exotic dishes are tried with her, and borscht is gradually erased from memory, with her new horizons of cinema and theatrical art open up, she is interesting and you can talk with her about everything in the world. And even buying a fur coat is not a duty for her, but a pleasure.
Her place is always clean, but at the same time she is not tired and is ready to go for a walk. She never has a headache, because she knows for sure that good sex actually gets rid of this problem. She does not shy away from innovations in bed and is ready for the strangest experiments.
She reveals the poor fellow from new sides, and he no longer has misfires, he is always on top. They wish him “good morning” and “good night.” They send him private photos and ask him for advice on what bra to buy. They chirp at him if he is sick and prepare him tea with raspberries. She is the queen of his heart! With her, he gets everything that his wife did not give him. With her he is a man again!
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Monday, April 23, 2007 11:05 + in quote book 04/23 Only in 5% of cases a man remains with his mistress after leaving the family. Theoretically, all women can be divided into two categories: the first believe that it is categorically impossible to date a married man, and the second believe that if you really want to, then you can. I would like to note that, upon getting married, ladies from the second category will immediately migrate to the first and become fierce defenders of the institution of marriage and family. Until then, you can just chat with a married friend. Just chat - nothing more. Reads: 3521 As a rule, rapprochement occurs gradually. You get to know each other, communicate, and timid memories of unfortunate people who got involved with married people periodically appear in your head. You silence your subconscious and your annoying friends, believing that everything is under control, and deep down hoping that everything will be completely different for you. Although sometimes you start to think in clichés, they say, you can’t find a normal man with fire during the day - everyone has already been taken apart. As you get closer, details about the personal life of your interlocutor are revealed. In such cases, at a minimum, the wife is not loved (the love has passed, the habit remains, they generally sleep separately, but live because of the children), and if the man belongs to the breed of chatterbox-weepers, then you will learn in detail how everyday life eats up love (and then, now he already doubted whether it was love), how a woman, over the years, stops taking care of herself and turns into a chainsaw, and so on. You, being an emotional person, will cordially sympathize with your married man, click your tongue, shake your head and even give advice. Having thrown out the dirty laundry from his family hut on you, he will calmly go home - after all, his children are waiting for him there (what a pity that he can’t still be with you, because you are the only person close to him). Of course, you condemn your wife - how can you not appreciate such an intelligent, subtle, sincere person? It doesn’t even occur to you how things really are. But you will learn about this later. When? When you get tired of playing hide and seek, when you get tired of loneliness on weekends, questions from relatives and disappointing forecasts from friends. It turns out that the family life of your hard-to-reach chosen one is not so bad, or he agrees to tolerate his wife for the sake of the children. And you - well, he didn’t promise you anything... The statistics regarding extramarital affairs are impressive - 60% of married Russians cheat on their wives. Moreover, 13% of marriages break up due to the infidelity of the spouses. A man's view Many men look at the problem of adultery differently. There are moralists who allow themselves only “men’s magazines”, but on the side - no, no. There are cynics who go to the left, calling it “sexual ambulance” - they are unable to resist temptations, but they also consider themselves moralists, because they do not abandon their family. The category of men who believe that a married lover is much more profitable than a single one is worthy of special attention. From their point of view, a married man has undeniable advantages: 1. The likelihood of contracting an STD is less. The men themselves note that they monitor their health more closely, because... They don’t want trouble with their wife. Bachelors are responsible only for themselves, so they can reward them with some kind of “nasty”. 2. Married men are not so picky. Singles have a huge choice and a lot of time - those who are “ringed” have little time, and the fiery look cast by a lady in a mini will cause a more vivid reaction. 3. The number of meetings is limited. At home you can relax, walk around in a torn T-shirt and pick your ear with a match. They come to their mistress in full dress, wearing a whole T-shirt and with clean ears. However, some ladies who are not planning to start a family in the near future (at least, they say so) are purposefully looking for married men, not single or divorced, in order to use all the above-mentioned delights to the fullest.
As for divorced people, on the NHS forum, during a discussion on this topic, one of the men said literally the following: “I got divorced - it turns out that there’s no need for a divorced person. I say that I’m married - women climb into bed themselves. As soon as I say that I’m divorced, they immediately start checking my financial status. But there’s no way to go to bed, everyone has urgently critical days, which can only be cured by a tour of Europe” (alexey2001, “Crazy Dating”). Married men also take more care of their health. Probably under the influence of their caring legal spouses. According to medical research, they are 1.7 times more physically active, eat more regularly and smoke significantly less. However, British cardiologists found that in 75% of cases, sudden death during sexual intercourse overtook those who were in extramarital relationships. In addition, the risk of heart attack during extramarital sex is even greater if there is a significant age difference between sexual partners (Inopressa). Psychologists believe that the reasons for affairs with married men lie not only in incorrect prioritization, but also in social pressure - a “normal” woman, according to society, should be in a heterosexual couple. Therefore, many women, especially those who are busy with their careers, achieve their goals in their own way. On average, such novels last about two years. Those who decide to end an inferior relationship are helped by accumulated anger and resentment. However, statistics are merciless even for those who managed to take a man away from their family - such relationships remain viable only in 5% of cases. Lera Nezabudkina, especially for SHE Readings: 3839
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Tit in hand or pie in the sky3
When his mistress appears, the man plunges headlong into the abyss of new feelings, tender trembling and longing in his chest. But the worm of doubt still gnaws from within. A man increasingly thinks about his feelings for his wife. It seems that there is something to love her for, it seems that there is something to be grateful for. And he gets scared. He is afraid that one day his wife will disappear, there will be no boring oatmeal in the morning, there will be no grumbling about socks, there will be no children’s squealing, nothing will happen.
Everything that he is used to, that gave him a feeling of stability and reliability, begins to crumble. Not everyone can abstract themselves from a double life. After all, to do this you need to be able to separate flies and cutlets. A wife is a wife, and a mistress is for the soul. Moreover, it is still unknown whether the unexpected girlfriend will give all this after he leaves the family. From this moment on, cerebral and emotional masturbation begins. A man faces a difficult choice: wife or mistress.
This stage in a man’s life is felt equally by both. The outcome of events depends on the behavior of both.
The main signs of having a mistress4
The fact that the husband has an affair on the side can be easily traced. He is changing. And sometimes it’s so radical that it just hurts the eye. New hobbies appear. And not from distant childhood, like aircraft modeling, but from fitness or cycling. Well, of course, he can’t appear in front of his mistress with flabby muscles, even though she’s pouring into her ears about his cozy body. Cycling allows you to get away from home for 3-4 hours without any fuss. Frequent business trips, without a significant increase in salary.
Unexpected knowledge of the latest cinema, while watching a news channel for 15 years. The desire to dress fashionably and beautifully, oops, but what about your favorite tracksuit? Exercises in the culinary field at a time when I couldn’t even cook dumplings. And most importantly: either the husband becomes unexpectedly affectionate and generous (yeah, he’s throwing dust in his eyes), or grumpy, with endless claims and reproaches (he compares). The combination of all these factors suggests 100% that madam has appeared.
How to help make a choice5
- In favor of the wife. Well, first of all, you need to figure out where you messed up. And if the dearest one began to disappear in the gym, then the wife has a direct path to the same place. And at the same time, together. So he will be under supervision. And all this can be served with the sauce of matching: there can’t be a sow next to the handsome guy. Secondly, if your husband starts practicing cooking, you need to immediately support him and organize kitchen battles. If he starts dressing fashionably, then you will have to update your wardrobe, and in his presence and with his advice. In purely human terms, he wouldn’t put anything on his wife. In general, all his interests need to be warmly supported. Thirdly, if he has become grumpy like a grandmother at the entrance, then you need to turn on the “cuteness”. Don’t snap, don’t break down: “Yes, honey! OK, darling! Sweetie, don’t grumble!” The more affection, the less barbs. Just don’t babysit and pretend to be a submissive sheep. Men can't stand it, and it looks forced. Fourthly, all his business trips must be organized in such a way that it is possible to meet and see him off at the airport. Right up to boarding a plane or train. He idles a couple of times at astronomical prices, he won’t want it anymore and the business trips will end as quickly as they began. On weekends the load is maximum. And this is not a garden. Not mom and not the garage. These are picnics, trips to neighboring cities on excursions. Or the children go to their grandmother, and then go to bed for the whole day. And fifthly, the bed. You'll have to reconsider your attitude towards sex. No knowledge - porn content to help. Men need variety, not blandness under the auspices of good behavior.
- In favor of the mistress. First, listen carefully to the man. He will definitely talk about quarrels with his wife, because he needs support. You can’t blame your spouse; the effect may be different. But to say that he is infinitely right, that it is unacceptable to behave like her, that any conflicts need to be resolved constructively, is extremely necessary. This way the man will feel that he is not alone, that his thoughts and considerations are correct. Secondly, don’t meddle in his family affairs. If it’s busy, it’s busy, if it’s force majeure, it’s force majeure. A mistress is not a wife, the status is different. A mistress’s destiny is to sit and wait for people to come to her and pay attention to her. Of course, you can express regret, but you can’t start a quarrel with tears, “You don’t love me, so go off to your chicken-e-e!”
A wife or mistress is the most difficult choice in a man’s life. The best thing you can do for him is to leave the guy alone. Let him decide for himself. And he will make his choice. Whether it is correct or not is the tenth matter. Just gloat, “It’s your own fault, you asshole, that’s the way it should be!” stupid.
Otherwise, he will find a third option and will be happy with neither one nor the other. Well, then who will be left with nothing?
GuruTest
Trying to guess who a man will end up with if he has to choose between his wife and his mistress, the majority will decide that he will end up with his mistress. After all, there is a fairly widespread opinion that no man will cheat on someone who completely suits him in everything. This means that his wife is doing something wrong, since the man is looking for a replacement for her. And as soon as he finds this replacement, he will definitely go to her. However, practice sometimes demonstrates the opposite: men can date their mistress for years, sometimes even several at once, but are in no hurry to divorce their spouse. If a divorce occurs, then the initiator is the wife, who is tired of the constant lies and betrayal of the person to whom she entrusted her love.
There are actually two main causes of ism, and both lie in the man. No matter how ideal the spouse is, no matter what she does, there are types of men who consider the betrayal of a loved one absolutely natural and are not going to restrain their desires. Therefore, men see relationships with at least two women as their ideal option. However, sooner or later the secret becomes clear, and a decision has to be made. To decide who a man will end up with when he has to choose between his wife and his mistress, you need to consider the pros and cons of each.
Wife
One gets a wife when a man is ready for family responsibilities. He wants stability, a joint division of rights and responsibilities, and is one hundred percent confident in his chosen one: that she will not betray, will not deceive, will not abandon him, will not cheat, and is no less ready to try for the benefit of a joint future. By getting married, a man seems to confirm that he is ready to live with his chosen one all his life. At the same time, he clearly separates family life and entertainment. With his wife, he is building a happy future, full of material well-being, and with his mistress, he can relax and have fun. Despite his affection for his wife, a man often does not know how or even does not want to maintain romance in a relationship with her: invite her on dates, relax and have fun together. He considers this undignified and unnecessary - after all, they are already married, and he does not need a wife for entertainment and fun. In family life, a man values peace and confidence in the future. And he prefers to experience vivid emotions with another woman.
Mistress
Mistresses, unlike wives, appear spontaneously - absolutely any woman can become one, as long as she more or less coincides with the tastes of a man. An unfaithful husband will not walk around her for long, checking her compliance with his expectations and preferences, because she most likely will not be with her forever, and he understands this perfectly well. She should not be the smartest, the most hard-working, and so on, because the man is not going to build a life together with her. All he needs from her is bright emotions, variety and entertainment. At the same time, his mistress may well be happy with him, perhaps even happier than his wife, because he is ready to give her unforgettable sensations and joy in exchange for what he experiences with her. But he will never love her, because in such relationships a man first of all relies on his appearance, and only then on the character of his partner. It is a way to relieve stress and take a break from family life, nothing more.
Therefore, most often a man makes a choice in favor of his wife - the woman whom he loves and for whose sake he is ready, at least outwardly, to give up his freedom. After all, he chose her with the expectation that he would live with her all his life; he looked in her, first of all, for a faithful comrade on whom he could always rely. But a mistress is a temporary phenomenon; a man uses her as a way to relieve tension. Therefore, it is important to understand that a married man likes you, because such a relationship will not end well for you. Of course, there are exceptions when a man truly meets a special woman. Realizing that he made a mistake in choosing a life partner, the man gets divorced and marries the one he started dating only for fun. However, psychologists assure: such situations are very rare. Even less often, men look for a potential wife in affairs: if they are so dissatisfied with their spouse, they do not hesitate to divorce. Therefore, the chances of taking a man away from his legal wife are quite small.
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17.07.2018 03:19
