Is it possible to regain trust after betrayal?
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Trust is a simple but very meaningful word. It is trust that is the basis of any relationship, since trust, this invisible substance
, like powerful cement holds together that without which normal relationships are impossible.
If there is trust in your relationship, then you will sleep peacefully at night, feeling peace and tranquility. And it is trust that makes every phone call, every text message from your partner so welcome and enjoyable.
. And only thanks to trust can any relationship be preserved even when the partners remain for a long period of time at an arc distance from each other.
Set the record straight
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When betrayal occurs, this event is perceived as a disaster - nothing less. Emotions run high, a stream of mutual accusations begins, which develops into some kind of long-term military conflict
. However, nothing in this world happens for nothing. Everything needs a reason. And to clarify, we need to dig deeper.
Did something happen between both you and your partner that should have been addressed sooner, but was ignored?
Talk to your partner. Try to figure out what happened and why. You may be bursting with anger, no doubt, but if you really want reconciliation
, you MUST learn to listen to each other. The answers that are heard in such a dialogue often allow you to get to the bottom of that very first wormhole that appeared in your relationship long before the betrayal.
Cheating itself is just a symptom (and not the only one), but not the main problem.
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It is very important that both sides show a desire to start this dialogue - open, honest, although very painful. In other words, both sides
must be sincerely interested in:
- clarify what happened;
- be ready to re-concentrate the efforts that are necessary to rebuild the relationship again.
If this does not happen, then your relationship will surely die, agonizing in a flood of pain, regret and resentment.
Why is a wife not jealous of her husband? Is there any reason for concern?
There are several factors due to which a woman may not be jealous of her partner:
- characteristics of character and temperament that affect her emotional state;
- absence of reasons that give rise to feelings of jealousy.
Why isn't the wife jealous of her husband? She can stop being jealous of her husband, understanding the possible reasons for what is happening. Begins to build relationships on mutual respect, which is supported by sincerity of feelings. But if sometimes a struggle of feelings and doubts occurs in her soul, then no one will notice it.
A woman may not have jealousy at all if there is no reason. This is typical for families in which the husband is in the sight of the wife at work and at home. Not all men like it. Well, those who are happy with this situation live well.
It happens that a wife’s jealousy goes away along with her personality development. Positive changes and high self-esteem contribute to the disappearance of fears and selfish manifestations inherent in this feeling.
But, depending on the circumstances, a woman may not have jealousy if:
- partners respect each other, there are no omissions or deception between them;
- Trusted relationships have been built taking into account personal freedom;
- all emotions and feelings are transferred to another person - a small child, a stranger, a seriously ill close relative;
- heavy workload during the period of passing various exams or defending a diploma project, concentration on new work responsibilities or some aspects of professional growth;
- factors are involved that restrain or suppress manifestations of jealousy - willpower, pride, the desire to look respectable and dignified;
- there is no more love, all that remains is coexistence in the same apartment - the woman, in this case, has good financial security, independent of her husband, and she will accept the separation calmly;
- the woman was very tired of everyday problems and troubles, difficulties at work and with raising children.
The wife may have negative experiences in the past. In a similar situation, her statements or unambiguous hints were received with hostility by her husband, which led to serious discord in the family.
The wife's changed behavior cannot be ignored. The absence of jealousy means that she has distanced herself from her husband’s feelings and experiences.
Identify motives
People do certain things for certain reasons. Usually these actions are rational and important to the one who performs them. And such an act as treason is no exception. People who committed treason
, may feel hurt, lonely or unappreciated. Most often, they try to find on the side what they do not get from their partner.
Take a standard situation: one of the partners in a relationship receives less attention from the other. For what reason he is not given this attention is another question. Perhaps one of the partners is too busy with their career
, devotes a lot of time to friends or there were other reasons. And a person who suffers from a lack of this attention quite reasonably looks for it on the side.
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If on the path of such a person he meets someone who is ready to pay maximum attention, who is ready to spend all his time on communication and courtship
, it will not be difficult for him or her to reach the heart of a person deprived of this same attention.
It is also possible (and this is not uncommon) when the partner who was cheated on blames himself for what happened. There are also difficult situations when you did everything right, giving to your partner
the maximum that people in a relationship can usually give each other. But your partner still cheated on you for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
Motivation also plays an important role in maintaining or repairing relationships. And then it’s no longer so important what exactly led to the betrayal
– dissatisfaction with your sex life, some small old grievances, lack of the same attention.
What to do if you don't trust your husband
First of all, as already mentioned, you need to talk to each other. And it is especially important to share not only your feelings, but also your expectations.
A simple example. For many women, entering into a relationship (and even more so, marriage) automatically, by default, means refusing not only romantic, but also sexual interactions with anyone else. However, men often share these concepts for themselves and for them it also goes without saying. Such a couple may not talk about it (after all, everyone thinks that their partner thinks like him), and the result can lead to drama and misunderstanding on both sides. “How so, you and I are married!” - “So what, I love you, not her.” And in their own coordinate system, everyone will be right and consider the other wrong.
Important! Discuss with each other the boundaries of freedom within marriage. Each couple has their own: some do not even have the right to have friendly conversations with the opposite sex, while others practice polyamory. The main thing is that they suit both partners and do not infringe on either of them.
If the differences in demands and desires are so great that a compromise is disastrous for both, then the question arises - why not look for a potential spouse whose views on this issue will be closer to yours?
It also happens that a husband and wife discuss everything, he does not give any reason for suspicion, but she still does not find a place for herself every time he leaves home. The spouse may understand the groundlessness of her mistrust, but this anxiety does not go away. In this case, it makes sense to contact a psychologist, because the problem can be hidden much deeper than reason, and only a specialist can bring it to the surface and help you learn to trust a loved one.
The main thing you need to understand is that there are no objective criteria for a “better” person or a “worse” person; they are different for everyone. And no matter what they call it, people enter into relationships with those who are closer to them. If your husband at one time made the choice to marry you, it means that you are really closer to him than everyone else, even if, in your opinion, they have more perfect noses, figures and hair.
Get serious about rebuilding your relationship.
How valuable was the relationship that ended in cheating to you? If the first passions
After you find out about the betrayal and have settled down, ask yourself the following three questions:
- Am I ready/willing to interact with her/him despite what happened?
- Do I still love her/him?
- Am I ready/willing to do whatever it takes to overcome this crisis in the relationship?
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These are complex questions that cannot be answered immediately, offhand. warm feelings and respect left in you
, which could become the basis for restoring relations. Ask yourself, for example, are you able to have fun together and share each other's company most of the time?
If you answered “yes” to all of the above questions, then, despite the long and difficult path left behind, it makes sense to make an effort to move forward together
. If you are willing to dedicate your lives to each other, if you are sincerely willing to work together to figure out the situation together, then the chances remain that will allow you to overcome these difficulties together.
If you accept this, then you need to move on. There should be no indecisiveness. Now you have a simple choice - all or nothing
. If you hesitate, then you are not ready to restore the relationship.
How to stop being jealous of your life partner
When faced with jealousy, mistrust and suspicion, a person subconsciously strives to muffle these feelings, because they are unpleasant in themselves and confuse his life guidelines.
It is extremely difficult to come to terms with and live with these feelings, which is why finding a solution to the problem is so important. This is especially true for women who rush to extremes and perceive the lack of attention from their husbands as a disaster.
How to stop being jealous of your husband? For women, this issue is vitally important, because the preservation of the family depends on it.
Advice for your wife
The advice of a psychologist on the problem of jealousy in the family is clear and boils down to the following.
First step. Recognizing a negative feeling is the path to overcoming it. Understanding the nature of jealousy, its causes, consequences is one of the most important stages in the fight against it. After all, if thoughts of betrayal, distrust, suspiciousness and fear break into family relationships and do not go away for a long time, this will inevitably lead to collapse. It is important to clearly understand what is happening both inside yourself and outside. If jealousy is superficial and only tingles your sense of pride, it may well revive a boring relationship, but if it torments you for days on end, it’s definitely worth dealing with.- Second step. Visibility makes it possible to look at the situation soberly. To do this, you should write down all the feelings that arise during an attack of jealousy. Fear, rejection of reality, pain, anger - the list of them can be huge . By answering questions related to the appearance of each emotion separately, you can develop a scheme for controlling them. For example: “Am I jealous and suspect my husband of cheating? I'm scared of losing him. Why? Because I depend on him financially, I don’t want to traumatize my child with a divorce, I love him and I need him for psychological peace.”
- Third step. Analyze the entire list of responses based on emotions. The result will be a list of positive emotions that need to be preserved in relation to your husband, as well as a list of negative aspects that were noticed in his behavior.
- Fourth step. Correcting your emotions. For example: fear born of financial dependence can be eliminated by getting a job or part-time job; fear of losing family peace and tenderness of relationships is corrected by returning to the behavior pattern of the courtship period. No sane man will look away if a calm, beautiful, loving and supportive wife is waiting for him at home.
- Fifth step. Possible adjustment of his behavior. This is a particularly difficult moment. No person has the right to impose his will on another, but it is possible to predict an action, as well as direct it in the right direction. It is very important to act calmly and unobtrusively. Men tend to show attention to women. A simple request for something small, such as ice cream or a glass of wine, will be granted. By the way, this meets a man’s need to be a breadwinner. This is very important for them. So with the help of little things you can regain attention.
The steps described above should be taken gradually, without breaking down. The most important condition is calmness and understanding of your actions.
Advice for husband
A jealous man is a scourge for a family. Unlike a woman, his jealousy appears openly.
Often, attacks of jealousy have serious consequences both psychologically and physically. Children can also fall under the hot hand. But if a man is aware of the problem and wants to correct the current situation, the algorithm of his actions follows the following plan.
- The first action, as in women, is awareness of the problem and visual analysis of emotions and actions. And not only her actions, but also his own.
- Work on controlling your emotions and actions. For example, if a feeling of suspicion begins to grow and bother you, you should exhale slowly and as calmly as possible inquire about your wife’s affairs and offer her your help. A man's tender attention and care are always very pleasant for a woman, no matter how long she has been married.
Constructive, calm conversation. Women by nature know how to listen and build logical chains. Yes, they sometimes have their own logic, but an understanding of the pattern is definitely present in the female brain.
You should honestly express to them your concerns and reasons for jealousy . At their core, they are the same for everyone. In a calm dialogue, even the most complex problems can often be solved. Men should remember that a woman is a mother by nature, and she is not inclined to be the first to ruin family relationships without a good reason.
Mutual respect and the ability to speak calmly as equals is the key to a strong married life.
Contact a family psychologist
Jacob Lund
A civil engineer has an excellent understanding of construction; surgeon - in how the human body functions; and the psychologist deals with the complexities of human relationships. And if this were not so, such a specialty simply would not exist
. Almost always, rebuilding trust and wanting to rebuild a relationship is a difficult choice that requires courage. Sometimes with a lot of courage.
And since you have taken this step, but are experiencing difficulties on your chosen path, then why not take another one - turn to a family psychologist? People who are professionals
in matters of relationships and psychology in general, they know what to pay attention to first of all in such cases.
You and your partner may be quite smart and experienced, but you don't have to know, for example, how to operate on appendicitis. And don’t be embarrassed by the fact that you don’t know how to proceed after cheating.
. Third-party help, if it comes from a real professional, cannot be overestimated in this situation.
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A psychologist for those who have decided to cope with betrayal, forgive it and rebuild a relationship with the same partner, this is akin to a pilot who will guide your ship through stormy waters, avoiding rocks and reefs
. This is exactly what is needed not only by the person who was cheated on, but also by the one who committed the betrayal.
Self-esteem and trust, how are they related?
Often the person himself is very distrustful, and this is from his childhood, and therefore he does not trust anyone. He has low self-esteem and no trust at all in the world in general. Moreover, this does not depend on the partner, it is connected with the personality of the person himself.
It’s good if the partner you come across is normal and everything is fine with trust, but if not, then the situation gets worse, and such a person becomes even more unsure of anything. This is a common reason for the loneliness of many women with low self-esteem, and the lack of desire to re-start any relationship.
And the most important thing is that “like attracts like,” and they begin to come across exactly the kind of people on their way who are difficult to trust. How can you regain trust in yourself?
What should you do to increase your self-esteem or trust yourself?
- Take responsibility for your life into your own hands
- Try to find a reason to be proud of yourself
- Realize your desires and start fulfilling them
- Don't let anyone hurt you, ever.
- Remove your fear of “mistrust” and try to start trusting one person first, and then over time people you can trust will begin to appear in your life
- Don't criticize yourself, treat yourself with care
- Don't open your soul to everyone
Grow your self-esteem, talk to a psychologist about this topic. Self-development and personal growth will help you in this matter. Although families are always built differently, and relationships in families are different.
Relationships in families are different:
- There is complete trust between partners, and this is a healthy relationship in marriage, harmony reigns here. And even if a “failure” occurs, then in this relationship everything can be constructively sat down and resolved. There will be no “empty” promises or resentment here.
- Trust between partners has been lost; they simply live together for some reason and do not interfere with each other. Here everyone promises, and everyone breaks. This is not all about trust, but simply about living together.
Forgiveness
You were fighting for your relationship. You worked tirelessly to overcome what happened. Your relationship is still quite fragile
, but at least you continue to work together to preserve and strengthen them.
Sometimes, despite the fact that you have not separated and hope to overcome the crisis
, feelings of resentment and even indignation persist. This only says one thing - the betrayal was not forgiven.
And then the victim of betrayal begins to use the situation in such a way as to extract various advantages from it. Phrases such as “it’s not for you to talk about this after what you did/did”
into your communication
every now and then . Treason begins to be used in disputes as a reproach; the person who has been cheated on constantly reminds the perpetrator that he has crossed a certain line.
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In other words, the victim of betrayal considers himself entitled to act as a kind of executioner (which, in fact, happens all the time). This means you haven't gotten over the betrayal yet.
– you, both partners. The cheater, perhaps, constantly feels guilty, giving in to disputes and conflicts.
This is a dead-end path that will not allow you to restore dilapidated relationships. Maintaining them for some time is possible. But build strong and trust-based
Only complete forgiveness will help the relationship rebuild. Complete forgiveness is when the victim of treason forgives the perpetrator of treason, and the perpetrator of treason forgives himself.
Give each other time
If someone has had an accident that results in a fracture, it will take a long time for the fracture to heal. But even then he will remind himself
, whine in bad weather, require special care and attention. Unfortunately, for many, betrayal turns out to be much more painful than a fracture.
A broken heart, even if you try to “glue it back together,” can take years to heal. Therefore, you should not be surprised that the situation does not let you go after a month, six months or even a year.
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According to psychologists, if couples manage to survive infidelity, it sometimes takes up to three years for the situation to be completely resolved
. Of course, a lot depends on the circumstances; much depends on the depth of feelings, on the sincerity of subsequent relationships.
However, if you are determined to restore your relationship, if you are ready to survive this difficult moment, give and earn forgiveness, you will need patience
. You must go through stages of anger, despondency, distrust, vulnerability and perhaps a feeling of shame. It is necessary to drink this bitter cup to the fullest.
Do not try to speed up this process - it is almost impossible. Take one small step towards each other
. Contact a psychologist when obstacles arise. Continue to move slowly in the chosen direction until the long-awaited healing finally comes!
Be extremely transparent
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Yes, be transparent, literally like glass! After cheating has occurred and attempts are being made to repair the relationship, transparency is required from both partners, not just from the perpetrator of the betrayal.
, although this is primarily expected from the guilty party. Full transparency is essential to rebuilding lost trust.
Don't give your partner a single chance to think that you are hiding anything from him again. Don't hide anything, don't keep secrets
, because secrecy and secrets in your situation can be detrimental to the process of restoring relationships.
For example, if the phone rings, it would be unforgivably stupid not to let your partner know who exactly called you and for what reason. On the way to building a new relationship with an old partner
it is necessary to forget about small personal secrets. The period during which you will restore lost trust is simply inevitable in your relationship.
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My wife doesn't believe me, she doesn't trust me
Difficulties in relationships
My wife doesn't believe me, she doesn't trust me
If your marriage is falling apart because your wife doesn’t believe you, then this is not a reason to give up. The path, of course, is not easy, but nothing is impossible. Since trust in marriage is vital, it is you who will have to solve this problem if you want to save the marriage. But what to do? It is necessary to determine the level of trust in marriage
First of all, you need to understand why your wife stopped trusting you? Perhaps you didn't keep your promises. Perhaps you cheated on her. Or maybe you are just flirting with other girls, or your wife thinks so.
If you did something from the list above, then it’s not difficult to understand why she stopped believing you. Nowadays, a sufficient number of men flirt with girls, and they assure their wives of the innocence of such communication. It doesn't matter what you think about it. If this seems like a threat to your wife, then you need to correct this as soon as possible.
But what to do if there are no obvious reasons for mistrust?
There are situations when your wife does not trust you for no reason. This also cannot be denied. But, nevertheless, in most cases there is one reason or another.
This can usually be because the wife is insecure or has a jealousy problem. However, before placing all the blame on your wife, you should once again dig into the past and make sure that you really didn’t do anything. Only after this can you move on to more decisive steps.
What not to do if your wife doesn't trust you.
Mistrust causes problems in marriage. Mistrust destroys it and brings only problems. But if you openly ask: “Does your wife trust you?”, she will almost always answer in the affirmative. And if after this, you start talking about mistrust, she will go on the defensive and be offended by you.
So don't try to talk about trust. If you ask your wife to trust you, she still won't do it. Trust is built on other principles, not in words, but in deeds.
What should you do if your wife doesn't trust you?
Try to find out the reason for the mistrust . You may discover things and details that you didn’t even pay attention to before. Awareness of the problem is the only way to solve it.
Do what inspires trust. Place a photo of your wife on your computer desktop and put the photo in your wallet. Convince your wife that all your colleagues at work know that you are happily married.
You can also regain trust in other ways. Call your wife more often and tell her what you are going to do. And if you promised something, then try to keep it. Give her more compliments and convince her that there is no point in flirting with someone else, since you already have the best.
Stop flirting with other girls, stop doing things she doesn't like. Most likely now is not the time to communicate with other girls. Relax and unwind. Perhaps this will be enough.
If you have made a mistake in the past. It is impossible to regain trust in one day. This takes weeks, months, and sometimes years. But don't give up. Show your wife that you regret what you did, and sooner or later she will be yours again.
Show your wife that you love her very much. Attention, care, affection and tenderness. There is not a single woman who, receiving all this from her husband, would not trust him. Be the best for her, and she will stop being jealous and will be yours again.
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Cut off old connections
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If you are the same person who, having committed infidelity, betrayed the trust of your partner, you need to cut off all ties with the person with whom you cheated.
. This means that it is necessary to exclude all phone calls, all messages, all email correspondence, not to mention any personal visits.
Once you and your partner have decided to go through this situation together, there should be no “last or goodbye” meetings with the one with whom you cheated. No contact at all!
If you've decided to leave this stage of your life behind, then that's where it belongs. Your partner who is trying to forgive you deserves it.
Perhaps you had reasons for doing what you did. However, you now have even more reasons to restore your broken relationship.
. And if you try to do this by maintaining contact with “that person,” then you will not succeed.
tommaso79/Getty Images
Even if you have business ties with such a person, cut them off too. Otherwise, your partner simply will not have enough internal strength to restore his trust.
to you. Few people are ready to accept the fact that their partner maintains at least some connection with the person who almost destroyed their life together.
Test. Assessing a wife's love after her betrayal.
To be 100% sure that your decision is correct, we recommend taking a test that will help determine how strongly your spouse is attached to you. After all, the fact of betrayal also depends on how much the missus has distanced herself from you. To ensure your answer is as accurate as possible, please answer truthfully.
1. Jealous?
2. How do those close to you feel about you?
3. Are you ready to start a family?
4. Does it often point out your shortcomings?
5. Does she leave the room where you are when she receives a call?
6. How does he react to gifts?
7. Does your attention often appear in her direction without romanticism?
8. When you call, does he often hang up?
9. Do you often give surprises in the form of romance?
10. Economical? Can he perform his duties at home?
11. Can you remove friends who “annoy” you from social networking pages without asking questions?
12. Was there any betrayal on her part?
13. Do you often point out her shortcomings?
14. Do you love her yourself?
15. Does he willingly communicate and make contact with representatives of the opposite sex?
16. Are you often jealous and expressive?
17. How often are your relationships confirmed in the bedroom?
18. Have you observed that she stares at other men?
19. Does he want to create common children with you?
20. Does he fulfill requests? Helps out?
21. Do you fight often?
22. Does he often spend his leisure time without you?
23. Does she constantly accuse you of ruining something (her figure, life...)
24. Do you think she's tired of her relationship with you?
25. Is he trying to protect his social media accounts from your supervision?
26. Were there various types of checks on her part?
27. Do you feel like you're hiding something?
28. Do you see and feel support from her?
29. How often did you notice lies on her part?
If you have any questions, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!
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Stop discussing what happened
Treason has taken place. Both partners decided to continue living together, strenuously fighting for lost trust, jointly building on the ruins of past relationships
new relationships. Relationships for the sake of a future life - happy, full of trust. In other words, you both decided to move forward together.
This means that once clarity has been established and the motive has been determined, it is necessary to stop discussing what happened. We need to stop discussing cheating
, return to it periodically in your conversations, adding salt to an unhealed wound.
There is no better analogy than this: imagine that you get seriously injured. You received stitches and a bandage. But you, instead of giving the wound time to heal
, periodically you tear off this same bandage in order to... look at your wound. This is reminiscent of the behavior of a masochist, isn't it?
fizkes/Getty Images Pro
If you sincerely want to recreate a strong relationship with the same partner again, leave the past in the past. Live here and now. Learn from what happened, make the necessary conclusions and judgments
, and then move forward. Otherwise, the healing period may take much longer (if healing occurs at all).
Keep your promises
If you committed adultery and are given another chance, you have an incredible responsibility. It's clear that you should be completely transparent and not lie to your partner. But this is not enough.
Now you must also be careful about what you promise. And if they promised, then they must do everything to keep these promises.
Say only what you mean and don't give false hope. Your optionality for a long period of time
will be perceived as a lie. Even a small attempt to embellish something can cause a suspicious attitude towards you.
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Each of your misdeeds will respond with a new blow to the structure that we call restored relationships. And any of these blows could be the last, destructive
. Not only be honest with your partner, but show that you are consistent and dependable.
Do together what you both liked before cheating
After betrayal, even if you have declared your readiness to survive it together, it is quite easy to get bogged down in everyday trifles. It’s very difficult to immediately abstract
from what happened and move on with your life. However, answer the following question: what was your relationship based on before the betrayal?
Any relationship is initially characterized by pleasant moments that need to be returned to again. Have a confidential conversation with your partner. Remember the things you did together
, and which gave you a mutual feeling of happiness. Think about all the places you have visited before; remember where you felt comfortable and warm together.
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It's time to visit them again! It's time to make dates again in the same places, go to the same cinemas, visit the same entertainment venues, cafes and restaurants. Such behavior will psychologically return
you back to the good times. Take them as a basis. And then organize new pleasant moments.
Cheating always brings chaos into the life of a couple, tearing it apart, breaking it into multiple pieces. The sharp claws of betrayal leave deep wounds on the heart, which take a lot of time to heal. However, they can be cured.
Sometimes it is simply necessary to destroy something shaky in order to build something stronger in its original place. And sometimes, in order to move forward, it is useful to look far back.
Trust in relationships - when is it possible to regain it?
A priori, decent, worthy people deserve trust, but some cannot be trusted blindly.
In strong, healthy relationships, loving people are sincere and honest with each other.
A similar rule applies to love and family unions, which are conventionally divided into two types:
- Constructive. They contribute to the creation of a strong, full-fledged union and the prosperity of partners. Mistrust in such an alliance is the result of an unintentional mistake, forced circumstances. The culprit of the situation, as a rule, strives to quickly rehabilitate himself in the eyes of his partner.
- Destructive, senseless. A person constantly commits dishonest acts, but they continue to believe him. They indulge base instincts (drugs, alcohol, constant betrayal), thereby worsening the situation. The connection has no meaning and no future, and often leads to tragedy. In such a situation, you need to understand that you need to stop believing and hoping for a future together.
In the first case, it makes sense to fight for an alliance and restore trust. Often, given the right approach to the matter, reconciliation occurs.
How to restore trust after a lie
Deception breeds mistrust.
Deception breeds mistrust
It is believed that a person often resorts to deception out of fear of becoming worse in the eyes of his partner, of disappointing him. For this reason, he hides unsightly information and hides serious problems. This often happens at the initial stage.
A serious lie dramatically changes relationships, misunderstandings, quarrels begin in the family, and a breakup is possible.
Psychologists give advice on how to act if you want to preserve the relationship and regain trust:
- admit to deception;
- demonstrate sincere remorse;
- the most important thing is to explain the reason for the lie;
- humbly accept your partner’s angry reaction, do not respond to complaints with rudeness, and endure.
Be sure to read:
What to do if you had a fight with a girl: advice from a psychologist on how to make peace with your ex
Psychologists do not advise endlessly justifying your actions and humiliating yourself.
When explaining to your lover, try to remain a restrained and adequate person. Perhaps, having overcome the problem, young people will understand each other better.
How to regain trust after betrayal
The most difficult case. If a guy cheated on his girlfriend (or vice versa) before the wedding, it is wiser to break up. It is much more difficult to destroy a family with small children. Moreover, the husband and wife will have to try.
If a guy cheated on his girlfriend (or vice versa) before the wedding, it’s wiser to break up
It is important for a traitor:
- Justify the action, admit guilt. People often decide to cheat during a quarrel with a partner, while drunk, or during a long separation. It is necessary to prove that everything happened by chance, and not because of feelings that flared up.
- Earn trust again. Transfer part of the routine housework to yourself, do what you promised, and take an interest in the problems of the other half. The partner must believe in the reliability and fidelity of his life partner.
- Revive romance, renew relationships. Try to become gentle, helpful, and sensitive.
- Diversify life, and this applies to the intimate and everyday side. Your partner should feel your sincere interest in him and believe that you are interested in being together.
The injured person should look at himself from the outside, change his appearance, interest, intrigue his partner:
- for a girl - pay attention to her appearance (get a fashionable hairstyle, buy a new beautiful outfit);
- a man should say more tender words to his companion.
It is wrong to dwell on the fact of betrayal. A prerequisite for a successful union is to minimize anxiety, suspicion, and jealousy. You need to learn to live without these feelings.
Important! Reanimating a marriage is a very difficult job; both spouses must change radically.
After a strong insult
Resuscitation of a marriage is a very difficult job; both spouses must change radically.
The cause of mistrust can be an accidental or deliberate act. In the first case, a heart-to-heart conversation and a sincere apology are enough.
The second option requires detailed analysis; loving people do not tend to offend each other. It is necessary to honestly find out the cause of the discord together. Perhaps the resentment is a response to the wrong behavior of a partner.
Advice from psychologists on how to make peace after a strong offense:
- talk about feelings and experiences frankly;
- discuss the relationship in detail, remember the pleasant and negative moments;
- apologize for the mistake.
Be sure to read:
How to return a guy's feelings, what to do, how to behave if the relationship has cooled
Attentiveness and sensitivity will help you cope with problems.
Apologies
A person who keeps his remorse to himself is unlikely to be able to earn trust back. Be sincere.
To rebuild your relationship, you need to demonstrate to your partner that you are truly and sincerely sorry for what you did.
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This does not mean that you have to repent your whole life. But if you are not going to repent at all, live as if nothing had happened, and even in any conflict situation
make this clear, then you are hardly worthy of forgiveness. Express your sincere regrets and then move forward; restore what you destroyed with your own hands.
