“My teenage son has a great love with a 13-year-old girl. How should a mother behave? Psychologist advises

Perhaps there is a co-worker who has caught your attention, or a classmate that makes your knees tremble and go weak every time he approaches. You are definitely interested in this person, but how can you tell if a boy likes you? If you are shy, self-conscious, or simply don’t want to disturb mutual friends who might ask your guy this question, then this article is for you.

Boy kissing girl on the cheek

He smiles a lot and looks at you

How do you know if a boy likes you? It's simple: you need to monitor his behavior. Pay attention to how often your views intersect and what his reaction is. If he:

  1. Always tries to pass by.
  2. He looks at you kindly and smiles.
  3. He looks away as if he is shy. At the same time, he doesn’t stop smiling.

Sometimes a girl may notice that a guy suddenly looks away as soon as she looks at him. This suggests that he closely monitors his object of desire, but at the same time he is embarrassed to talk about his feelings and show them in public. This may also mean that the boy, as soon as he sees his object of adoration in his field of vision, begins to look at him, study his habits and frantically tries to find ways to get to know him or start communicating.

Oh that look

Many girls ask the question: “How can you tell if a boy at school likes you?” Pay attention to his eyes. It is important to look at them carefully, because it may turn out that he has decided to play staring contest with you.

The guy hugged the girl

If you want to test whether he is attracted to you or not, try an experiment. Look at his face for about 3-4 seconds and then look away. After a second, look back at him: if a guy maintains eye contact with you, then he is really interested. But to make sure that he likes you, pay attention to where his gaze is directed.

If a guy looks towards his mouth, then he definitely sees you as an object of adoration. However, if he breaks eye contact and looks away, then he may just be interested in you, but not enough to start building a relationship.

Sometimes it happens that a person is very shy and unsure of himself, so he looks away so as not to make eye contact with the interlocutor.

How can you tell by your behavior that a guy, a man, a boy, or a classmate likes you?

Above, we have already touched on some aspects of a guy’s behavior that can reveal his feelings. I just wanted to add some recommendations on this issue and summarize. What you should pay attention to and what you should skip past your participation.

  • Of course, it has already been said that the guy will lend his shoulder to help whenever possible. You can even conduct an experiment. But this is only if you already communicate somehow. Wear a light dress in cool weather and see if he offers his sweater (jacket or jacket).
  • If you enter the room or simply appear on the horizon of his vision, then he will definitely have a smile on his face. This is how not only men work, but also women. Agree that a smile involuntarily appears when you just see a nice person.

IMPORTANT: There is an opinion that men breathe faster (when they see a girl they like). In fact, this is the case. The fact is that when we see our beloved person, we begin to get nervous. Do I look good, do I smell good, do I stand this way or do I speak correctly. Therefore, in the process of excitement, our breathing naturally quickens.

  • If you are already in close contact, but still have doubts about his love, then pay attention to the frequency of communication. If he writes every day and even asks annoying questions (whether she was cold this afternoon or not wet during the rain), then this is a direct confirmation of his sympathy.
  • Also, he will be interested in every detail of your life. And most importantly, he will be able to remember everything down to the smallest detail. Even when you don’t remember something. It’s strange, why does their memory seem to disappear after the wedding? But that's another conversation.

Behavior of a guy in love
Behavior of a guy in love

  • A man, at the slightest opportunity (or perhaps without realizing it), will try to touch, feel or simply touch his beloved. A well-known method for removing a strand of hair that accidentally fell out of the bun and hung over the eyes. In romantic films, the man corrects him and begins to kiss the girl passionately. This is true! Well, or practically. In real life, guys, unfortunately, are not so brave. But he will definitely straighten a strand of hair or pick up a fallen pen, accidentally touching his hand.

IMPORTANT: He will introduce you to his friends. Again, this is if you communicate. Even when you already have some kind of relationship. This is the most important condition for his love. He will not hesitate to introduce you to his family and friends. But, of course, this does not happen the next day.

Also, a small nuance - he is interested in your life. A friend whispered that he had asked questions more than once, so it was worth thinking about.

Non-standard approach

“How can you tell if a boy likes you or not?” - a common question among teenage girls. Pay attention to his behavior.

At a younger age, guys show this feeling of love in a slightly distorted form: you may receive slaps, gentle blows from all sides, hair pulling, ridicule or attempts to attract attention. It may seem to a girl that the bully hates her and therefore constantly mocks and hurts her, although in fact the opposite is true in most cases.

At a more mature age, feelings manifest themselves a little differently. The girl should pay attention to how the young man will behave when she disappears: will he call, look for her, ask what’s going on. This is how a representative of the fair sex can understand whether a guy has some kind of sympathy for you.

But you must reason sensibly and coolly. Because if you get hung up on the fact that the boy is the object of your adoration, you will only notice in his behavior what you want to see for yourself.

Boy and girl hugging each other

What should I do if I like a guy, a man, but I don’t know if he likes me?

Well, it directly depends on the character. There are some girls who won't wait long. And I won’t pay much attention to the signs either. More precisely, she saw a guy she liked and began to act on her own. But, nevertheless, most young ladies modestly wait for the first step from a man. And if this man is also a conqueror of the heart, then waiting in ignorance becomes tiresome.

  • If the above signs did not give the slightest clue or gave a blurry picture, then it is worth resorting to an even more sophisticated technique. More precisely, you should have a little patience and wait a little.
  • Believe me, no man will walk in circles for long. If she really likes the girl, she will certainly start attacking her.
  • The first thing a guy will do is enter your social circle (if you are from different companies). If you are complete strangers, then soon he will definitely “accidentally” run into you and begin a first acquaintance (and then a first date).
  • A man begins to love what his passion is for. Yes, he will eat the same food. But don't expect a meat eater to become a vegetarian. Unless the man simply abstains from meat in the presence of the girl herself. Perhaps he will even like unsweetened tea or give up coffee.
  • A man in love simply idolizes his lady. If you hear a lot of positive feedback and praise addressed to you, then this is direct evidence of his sympathy.

How to understand a guy's love
How to understand a guy's love

  • Compliments in this case are also no exception. Men know very well that women melt from beautiful words. But don’t confuse just an experienced womanizer. A man in love becomes very tender and affectionate with his sympathy.
  • But he will also be happy to joke. Not because he wants to offend you in any way. And because he wants to make you laugh and cheer you up (if that is required). If you don’t like some jokes or seem offensive, you should definitely say so. And right away. If a man really cares about you, he will undoubtedly stop this.
  • Flowers, small gifts and other small signs of attention from a guy are direct evidence that he likes you.

What does his body language say?

This advice is suitable for girls of all ages. One of the most common signs that a guy likes you is a look, but beyond that there are some other gestures. For example, if he leans towards you or tries to get as close as possible, then you should wonder if this person has sympathy for you.

Want to know if he is subconsciously interested in you? Watch his arms and legs. If they point at you or are tilted in your direction, then this indicates how much the guy likes you.

Another way that tells you how to understand whether a boy likes you or not is to pay attention to his gestures when meeting. As a rule, he must prepare himself - straighten his tie, fix his shirt, smooth his hair. The guy at this moment begins to get very worried and unconsciously tries to put himself in order while you are around, because he wants the object of his adoration to find him attractive.

Watch him when he sits. If a man or guy spreads his legs wide apart and puts his hands on his hips, then this is a manifestation of interest in the woman with whom he is talking and being near.

Signs of sympathy

How can you find out if a boy loves you? Observe behavior. Of course, boys know how to hide their feelings; they are taught this all their lives: by their parents, society, and those around them. But knowing what to pay attention to, taking a closer look at behavior towards you and towards others, you can understand what is really happening between you.

The boy is able to watch himself so as not to tell you something unnecessary or too frank. But gestures, facial expressions and behavior will speak for themselves. So, a classmate likes you if your behavior shows the following signs:

  1. Glad to see you, always. When he looks at you, he smiles, even if he was sad or angry before. Often calls you by name.
  2. He watches you furtively, but as soon as he sees that you have noticed it, he immediately looks away: he doesn’t want you to see such interest. The gaze is always directed at you a little longer than at girlfriends or friends, and a little more intently. Sometimes demonstrates increased indifference.
  3. You can read by the look whether the chosen one loves you. By observing his gaze, you can usually tell by his eyes whether a new friend is interested in you or not. But in this matter you need to be careful: lest the guy think that it is you who are showing increased interest in him, looking at him like a museum exhibit.
  4. He is often embarrassed when he is next to you, sometimes he even blushes and adjusts his clothes and hairstyle.
  5. Always ready to help you.
  6. Tends to touch your arm or elbow, as if accidentally during a conversation, confirming something said. However, think about whether the chosen one is macho, perhaps this is not such a rarity - such attraction of attention to one’s person, and this flirting is a common thing.
  7. Interested in you, your hobbies, what you say and what you like. He will often ask you about life and ask your mutual friends about you. If the conversation turns to you, he becomes very interested, sometimes asking questions of others.
  8. If he is not afraid of the opinions of other boys and girls, then he boldly gives you compliments, gives you little things, valentines, and makes pleasant surprises that he hopes will make you happy. Will look for points of intersection in tastes. It won’t be surprising if you suddenly have the same tastes in music or sports, if you have common hobbies.
  9. If he notices that you are talking to another boy, he will be jealous of you. Especially if your conversation is very sweet, and you laugh or show your interest - in the subject of the conversation or in the boy himself.
  10. He won't laugh at you if you suddenly say something stupid or do something funny or ridiculous. It can even protect you from ridicule - if you are especially brave.
  11. He tries to be near you more often, to walk you home or just stand near you during recess.
  12. If, while talking to you, he puts his hands on his hips and holds his belt, this means that he wants to make friends with you (even if he himself doesn’t know about it yet).
  13. Another way to find out if he loves me is to see how he communicates with other girls? The boy sometimes flirts with one so as not to show his feelings for the other. If you left and the flirting stopped, this is a good sign for you. And your faithful girlfriends or friends will be able to tell you about this - permanent spies even when you are not in the room.
  14. Pay attention to his friend's behavior. Jokes at you in his presence, unexpectedly whispers something to him or giggles in front of you, glancing in your direction. It means your friend knows something and you might like it.
  15. He takes very good care of his appearance. You can rightfully say: “My boyfriend is the most handsome,” because he is neat, stylish, trying to impress.
  16. You need to understand character in order to evaluate actions. One person can sit on a chair, look with loving eyes and do nothing for you - and still be in love with you. And another can do a lot of pleasant things in five minutes (carry a briefcase, give compliments, open the door for you) - and at the same time be completely indifferent to you. It's just his character.

Be careful and do not mistake common politeness or a sociable nature for manifestations of sympathy for you.

How to check if a friend loves you? In younger children, sympathy or falling in love often manifests itself in a rather specific way. Pinch you, break a ruler, pull your hair - such actions, as it seems to the boy, will attract increased attention to him. This often happens - you notice someone you might not have seen before.

The one who likes you will take care of you first of all, in a dispute or conflict he will take your side, support you, and will not give you offense. Having learned about your shortcomings, he will not discuss them with others and wash dirty linen in public. He will continue to communicate with you, invite you to take a walk together in the evening, for example. If he is on your side when, as it seems to you, the whole world has turned its back on you, it means he really has sincere feelings for you.

He listens to you, values ​​your opinion, asks for your advice, tries to make you feel good, calm and comfortable. If you called after school and asked about some little thing that he could have learned earlier at school, this is also a sign of attention on his part, a desire to hear your voice, perhaps.

You ask yourself: “Does my beloved love me?” and want to call him? You shouldn’t rush and impose yourself, if this friend is not particularly interested in you, then soon someone will appear who will really want to communicate, you should wait a little, there is still time ahead.


Listen when he talks to you

Here's another way for those who don't know how to tell if a boy likes you. So what do guys do that most of them talk about?

It's actually quite simple - they talk about themselves. Many guys feel like they have to prove themselves to the women they're interested in, so they start bragging about their accomplishments during conversations.

A good way to see how interested a boy is in you is to observe his body language during a monologue. Try to say something not too loud. Is he leaning in to hear you? Does he stay closer after the conversation has moved on to the other person or does he move away from you?

Guy and girl hiding in a blanket

This advice is ideal for girls of different ages, because boys always like to brag. It doesn’t matter where they are - in the school corridor or in the cafeteria at work.

Special relationship

When a guy is interested in you, he may start to behave differently, especially. If he begins to protect you from others, defend your point of view when in company, put his hand on the back of your chair, then this is a sure sign that he likes you.

This tactic is fairly easy to spot. Sometimes boys or guys of all ages may show attention to other girls in order to make you feel angry, envious, and jealous. Usually they flirt with them, but at the same time they constantly look at the reaction of their object of adoration.

If you are in the same room with such a representative of the stronger sex, you can simply conduct a small experiment. Wait until the guy starts flirting with another girl, and then move away from them at a safe distance, but so that you can watch them without them seeing you.

If a young man stops showing signs of attention to another as soon as you are out of sight, then this can be considered a game, during which your reaction should be determined. For example, if a girl sees such flirting, then she may be offended, droop, become sad and abruptly leave for another place, because it hurts her. This way, the guy will understand that she cares about him and will begin to act.

Girl holding umbrella to boy

Psychologists' answers to questions

Hello Anna!

Your child is 6 years old, and this is the age at which he begins to build the concept of an ideal Self - to build the image to which he will strive not in others, but in himself. He is looking for those models that he will try to be like. This is natural, and this process should not be disrupted.

Your child is 6 years old and a boy. He wants to be strong, compared to other boys, he wants to surpass them, he wants to be liked by his body and hear praise about his body, he wants to be an object of interest in his appearance from his peers. And that's okay. And at 6 years old there is no eroticism and sex in this, but there is a desire to have physical strength. It is as role models that he is interested in pumped up men with muscles, and not girls or mature ladies with curvy figures, and this is natural. Dad, quite possibly, is not interesting to the boy as a model in terms of appearance because he is not pumped up, and he has not heard admiring comments about dad, dad’s appearance, figure and muscles from you, from significant loved ones. And it’s quite possible that the boy heard criticism of his dad at home, criticism of his daddy figure, and this criticism did the trick and the boy doesn’t want to be like his dad, so as not to be subjected to the same criticism.

It would be strange if at the age of 6 a boy was interested in girls or mature ladies as a standard for his own body, and even more so if this interest in women’s photographs were sexually charged even now. If the direction of interests were like this, then you could already see attempts to try on your underwear, apply war paint to yourself using the contents of your cosmetic bag and stand on heels. Moreover, you might see your son trying to be like you and copy your behavior patterns. And it’s unlikely that you would like it more than a fleeting interest in photos of pumped-up men...

If you want your son to try to become a strong, athletic man, then under no circumstances should you undermine his natural interest and, moreover, attribute sexual connotations to this interest. Moreover, it is hardly useful to fantasize about the topic of “seducing” your son by a muscular neighbor through conversations. The worst thing you can do in the near future for yourself and for your son is to give free rein to your fears and fantasies about seducing a child and about deviations in his psychosexual development. If you take your child to psychologists and psychiatrists in order to cope with your own fears, you will awaken and fix his unhealthy interest in a taboo topic and the responsibility will fall on you...

In principle, you immediately gave your son an absolutely correct explanation regarding “uncles who advertise underpants and play sports.” The next step is to tell the child that the uncles look great and very attractive, and in order to look like these uncles in the future, you need to work hard, lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right, and play sports. And gently guide the child to the choice of the sport in which he has an interest, in every possible way support the child at the stage of sports activities that are useful both for improving health and in terms of moving towards an ideal appearance. But for this you will need to overcome your fears, because in sports there will be pumped-up uncles-coaches at every step with whom the child will communicate, there will be the spirit of the men's locker room...

Anna, you should find out the reasons for your fears regarding a possible pathology in the sexual development of your son. I would recommend doing this immediately. I believe that the reason for the fears lies somewhere nearby, perhaps in the circle of close people and events in this circle, and you are projecting some other story onto your son. But this is only one of many possible guesses and hypotheses.

With respect and best wishes, Evgeniy

Young age

Many schoolgirls sometimes don’t notice how interesting they are, and sometimes ask themselves the following questions: “How can you tell if a boy likes you?”, “Is 13 years old a normal age for a first relationship?”, “Can I find a good friend for myself?” , “How to stop being afraid and shy of boys?”

At such a young age, relationships are not considered something shameful if their essence is spending time together, moral support and friendship. Children always show sympathy for each other, even when they are still preschoolers, so you should not be shy about the feelings and emotions that new acquaintances can evoke.

To understand how a boy feels about you, pay attention to his attitude and interests. At school age, it is difficult to show feelings and show serious signs of attention, so some hints that someone likes you may seem strange or subtle.

For example, a boy may suddenly become interested in the same things as his crush. If she loves a certain style of music, then he also tries to get acquainted with new groups, learns the names of the soloists and even remembers the words of songs. But the boy does not hide his hobbies; on the contrary, he tries with all his might to show the girl that they have a lot in common.

What kind of girls do guys like?

At school age, girls tend to succumb to the influence of television and magazines, which zealously defend a certain standard of beauty. Actually this is not true. Fashion is a changeable and individual concept.

In real life, beauty rarely matches fictional standards. This is due to the fact that each person has his own preferences laid down by nature. One guy likes tall girls, another - short girls, a third - with long hair, and another has his own standards of beauty.

READ Ways to respond to an insult: from ignoring to rudeness

But there are unspoken rules, following which will help you always be attractive:

  • well-groomed appearance (clean hair, neat nails);
  • pleasant smell (and we are not talking about perfume, but about the use of deodorants);
  • clean clothes tailored to the specific situation;
  • pleasant manners;
  • smile.

To such simple rules it is worth adding one more important point: be an interesting conversationalist. A neat appearance and a rich inner world will make you a queen in the eyes of guys. And your classmates will envy and strive for your heights.

Signs and fortune telling

There are alternative ways to tell if a boy likes you. Fortune telling, folk omens, or even dreams are the most popular methods used by girls of all ages:

  • “My chamomile, my chamomile.” The most popular method of fortune telling. Take one bud of a field plant, and then tear off a petal, saying “loves” or “dislikes” for each one. Whichever word falls on the last one is waiting for you. Some girls use more complex fortune-telling, saying “loves”, “dislikes”, “will deceive”, “hugs”, “spits”, “kisses”, “takes a liking”, “laughs”, “holds to the heart”, “sends to hell” " It is important to pronounce the words in a circle until one petal remains.
  • Fortune telling by dreams. If you dreamed of a boy, be sure to remember the day of the week of this event. It is important to take into account not the evening when you went to bed, but the night, for example from Monday to Tuesday. So, if you had a dream from Wednesday to Thursday - the boy will write a letter, from Thursday to Friday - he will fall madly in love, from Friday to Saturday - you will not meet for a while, from Saturday to Sunday - something will separate you, from Sunday to Monday - he will love only you, from Monday to Tuesday - he will understand that he really likes you, and from Tuesday to Wednesday - he will see his soulmate in you.

    Two children playing

The simplest test

All you have to do is answer only “yes” or “no”. At the end of the “Does a boy like you?” test you need to count the total number of positive answers, and then find the finished result below:

  • Question 1. Does he smile a lot and look at you often?
  • Question 2: Imitates you, imitates what you do and how you do it?
  • Question 3: Does he play with you? Does it happen that he suddenly pinches your hand or cheek?
  • Question 4: Does he always try to talk to you about common interests?
  • Question 5: Does he get jealous and angry when you stand near other boys, boys or men?
  • Question 6: Does it protect you? Does he try to justify his actions to others, does he help to challenge someone’s opinion for the sake of yours?
  • Question 7: Does he do things that make you laugh?
  • Question 8. Does he try to dress in such a way that you will notice his new look?
  • Question 9: Does he care about you? Does he ask about your health, and does he treat you to something tasty?
  • Question 10. Does he give you compliments, even unexpected ones?

Test results. If you answered “yes” more than 7-8 times, then the guy definitely likes you. If there are 4-5 positive answers, then the boy or guy is interested in you, but not in love. If there are no more than 3 “yes” answers, then he is interested in you as a friend or just an educated acquaintance, but no more.

Girl and boy standing together

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