Question. The concept of intrapersonal conflict, interpersonal and group conflicts. Their structure, classifications and resolution methods

Interpersonal conflict is a confrontation that arises in the process of an individual’s communicative interaction with the social environment. In other words, an interpersonal conflict in a group is in some way a contradiction that arises in a separate situation among subjects when they begin to perceive events as a problem with a psychological component that requires immediate resolution. A prerequisite for the emergence of interpersonal conflict is the presence of a contradiction that creates an obstacle to communication or the achievement of personal goals.

Interpersonal conflicts in a team are more common than other types of confrontations.

What is interpersonal conflict?

A special science deals with the study of various confrontations - conflictology. It has a clear definition that interpersonal conflict is an open contradiction between two or more individuals that arises in the process of interaction in various spheres of society: economic, political, sociocultural and others. Such confrontation appears when people begin to perceive the current situation as a problem with psychological overtones.

What are the characteristics of interpersonal conflicts?

This type of confrontation between people is characterized by the following features:

1. Participation of two or more individuals.
2. An open clash between participants in an interpersonal conflict in a real unit of time.
3. Differing personal opinions, views and judgments regarding a certain problem or situation, the interests of individual groups and associations, which disrupt the normal interaction of the parties.
4. One of the parties, as a result of a conflict of interests, acts to the detriment of the other. The second participant takes active response actions.
5. Complete resolution of the conflict is possible only by finding a compromise that will satisfy all participants in the interaction. The victory of one of the parties will not end the conflict.

Three conditions for a good relationship

The main key to a good relationship is to gain greater flexibility in communication, for this you need to comply with the three conditions of contact that follow from the Law of Relationships.

1 condition for a good relationship: RAPPORT

Many of us can remember a case when you suddenly meet someone and this person immediately likes you - or from the first second causes rejection, even if you have something in common with him. Psychologists say it's all about rapport.

Rapport - relationships, especially relationships of mutual sympathy and trust; mutual understanding, harmony and harmony in relationships.

When rapport is established in a relationship or spontaneously arises, then there is contact and it can last for many years. When you conflict, argue, you destroy rapport.

Condition 2 for a good relationship: CALIBRATION

Professional psychologists, including the author of this blog, throughout their practice learn to notice and capture verbal and especially non-verbal signals coming from a person in order to use this information in establishing and maintaining rapport. That is, he is constantly calibrating.

Calibration is the art of picking up on verbal and nonverbal cues (laughter, breathing, blushing, habits, stuttering) that indicate the mental or emotional state of the other person, and then adjusting your communication style to match theirs.

People who know how to calibrate usually know how to establish and maintain rapport well and easily determine the leading communication style of their interlocutor.

3 condition for a good relationship: COMMUNICATION STYLE

The third condition for successfully creating a contact is understanding communication styles.

Communicative style is a person’s communication style, his specific way of understanding, perceiving, processing and using information received in communication.

There are 4 communication styles: visual, auditory, kinesthetic and digital.

I have already given you the opportunity to take the NLP test 4 communication styles and determine your communication style. In subsequent articles, I will present each of them in detail, and tell you how to calibrate and establish rapport with each representative of the communication style.

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Causes of interpersonal conflicts

In society, millions of interpersonal conflicts flare up every day; there is no person who does not participate in them at least once. If an individual is not the instigator of the confrontation, then he can be drawn into it even against his will. This is facilitated by various causes of interpersonal conflicts, which can be divided into five groups:

1. Information reasons, which are based on information unacceptable to one of the parties. These may include incomplete or inaccurate facts, rumors, misinformation, the release of unsolicited or confidential communications, misinterpretations, or controversial issues in existing laws or regulations.
2. Confrontation between people often arises against the background of behavioral factors. Rudeness, aggression or selfishness of one of the parties.
3. Dissatisfaction with the relationship between the parties. This can be either dissatisfaction with the existing interaction, or a proposal for its development or continuation.
4. Value reasons. This may include those personal attitudes and beliefs that are accepted by one side but rejected by the other.
5. Structural factors or stable circumstances that exist regardless of the will of a particular individual, that is, those that he cannot change. System of government or justice, gender, age, etc.

Classifications

There are different definitions of conflict, which made it possible to identify five ways to classify them.

Solution

Thus, the basis of the first classification was the method of resolving the problem: antagonistic and compromise. In the first case, people turn to competition, in the second, they find concessions.

Nature of occurrence

Conflicts can arise against the background of social, ethnic, religious and other problems. A difference in views in itself does not lead to confrontation. The problem begins when one person believes his values ​​are the only correct ones. In this case, the other will defend his point of view.

Direction of impact

With horizontal confrontation, people are at the same social level, with vertical confrontation, one is subordinate to the other. The difference between them is the presence of authority and power. The manager has more methods of coercive influence, while colleagues have an equal position.

Degree of expression

In an open form of confrontation, the participants understand well what is happening; in a hidden form, they are poorly aware of the consequences of their decisions. With a potential confrontation, the atmosphere only becomes tense and can escalate at any moment.

Number of participants

There are various factors that lead to conflicts. They can involve either 2-3 people or entire groups. Therefore, confrontations are distinguished according to the number of participants: intrapersonal, interpersonal, intergroup.

Examples of interpersonal conflicts

Professionals argue that interpersonal conflict in psychology is an integral part of life in human society. It is caused by a large number of reasons mentioned above. Which is why examples in real life can be found everywhere:

1. The boss gives an interview to a local newspaper about the activities of his company. After the issue is published, he realizes that many facts have been distorted by the journalist. The parties meet and the editorial staff member refuses to issue a retraction, citing his interview notes.
2. Students in one dorm room argue over who should do the cleaning. One believes that everyone should take turns cleaning up, while the other is sure that the one who litters the most should clean up more often.
3. A husband and wife cannot find a common language regarding raising their son. An interpersonal conflict flares up when a preschooler refuses to dress himself, asking his parents to do it. The father forbids the mother to dress her son, but she still helps the child.

Complications

Each conflict will have its own unique characteristics. In some situations it can develop into a serious confrontation. This happens because people want to fight openly; they do not want to make concessions.

Important! Individuals may be determined to continue the confrontation.

Due to emotional tension, conflict resolution is impossible. Things get worse when the confrontation is part of the rejection of the subjects.

There are several concepts of conflict in psychology and philosophy. Such situations arise in the life of every person, so you need to know how to solve them.

Types of interpersonal conflicts

A large number of characteristics of the same process make it possible to classify interpersonal conflict according to a variety of criteria. In terms of direction it can be:

1. Horizontal
   , when participants have equal rights.
2. Vertical
   , when one of the parties is subordinate.
3. Mixed
   . Such contradictions often arise in organizations.

By meaning there are:

• constructive or creative;
• destructive or disruptive.

Types of interpersonal conflicts are divided by duration into:

1. Situational contradictions.
2. Prolonged disagreements.

Constructive conflict

The concept of constructive conflict means interaction, which ultimately leads to relations reaching a qualitatively higher level. It is possible when the parties:

1. Adhere to ethical and business practices.
2. Pay attention to your opponent's arguments.
3. They strive to resolve the situation, not to win at any cost.

The specificity of constructive interpersonal conflict is that:

1. Thanks to this confrontation, the parties realize that the contradictions that have arisen are an unfavorable symptom of building relationships.
2. In the process of conflict, important disagreements are revealed, the overcoming of which takes interaction to a new, higher level.
3. With proper resolution of the contradiction, factors of disagreement are removed, mutual understanding and cooperation between the parties is established.

Destructive conflict

Often conflicts in interpersonal relationships are destructive or disruptive. That is, one of the participants categorically and firmly insists that he is right, without accepting the position of the second. Such an individual often resorts to a judgmental method of struggle and strives to win the conflict at any cost. With this approach, it is difficult to talk about the correct resolution and reaching a new level of interaction.

Possible consequences of such communication:

1. Destruction or significant deterioration of established relationships.
2. Feeling of resentment, dissatisfaction, anger or irritation of one or all opponents.
3. Low effectiveness of further joint activities.

Important signs

Not every confrontation can be considered something serious. A conflict situation has three main characteristics:

1. Difference in views on one problem;
2. Activity on each side;
3. Reluctance of people to look for a solution to the situation.

Stages of conflict - a brief description of the main stages in psychology

Two or more people can participate in a conflict. Everyone will defend their position and point of view. Often the process of confrontation is associated with high emotional intensity.

Important! In psychology, it is generally accepted that conflict is always conscious. Each participant understands well what he is doing and why. Therefore, such situations do not arise on their own. Conflicts arise in any environment and at all social levels.

An experienced specialist will easily give a brief forecast of the outcome of the confrontation, because this phenomenon has already been well studied in psychology.

Features of interpersonal conflicts

You can distinguish interpersonal conflict from other types of contradictions by the following characteristic features:

1. The concept of interpersonal conflict applies to the direct interaction of two or more individuals based on conflict or personal motives.
2. Various forms of interpersonal conflict can arise due to the entire range of known causes, from specific to general.
3. Such a confrontation is considered a kind of test of character, temperament, will and other individual mental characteristics.
4. This form of communication is highly emotional and covers all areas of relationships.
5. Conflicts can affect the interests of not only the warring parties, but also their environment.

Stages of development of interpersonal conflict

With any constructive or destructive confrontation, a specific specific structure of interpersonal conflict is observed. It consists of the following stages:

1. Pre-conflict, that is, the state of affairs the day before.
2. A plot or an incident. This is the first clash between the parties on a convenient occasion that has arisen.
3. Increase or escalation of the conflict. It consists of a series of actions and responses by the parties.
4. The culmination or highest point of passion in an interaction. It leads to the fact that the parties realize the pointlessness of carrying out hostile actions and the need to find a way out of the current situation.
5. Completion. This may be due to the parties’ search for a solution to the crisis or other reasons.
6. Post-conflict.

Behavior in interpersonal conflict

During the active stage of confrontation, opponents can choose acceptable methods of behavior in an interpersonal conflict. It could be:

1. Violence. The weaker side, emotionally or physically, submits to the opponent who is stronger than it.
2. Disconnection. The parties stop communicating and the conflict dies down until the next clash.
3. Negotiations and reconciliation. This can be either a reasoned adoption of a mutual decision, or the cessation of actions against the opponent by all participants. Then they say that the confrontation subsides on its own.
4. Involving a third independent party to take the conflict to a new level.

End of the problem

There are several ways to resolve a confrontation. Individuals can choose different strategies on their own. Sometimes the conflict dies down, but it can become active again. In some situations, interest in the fight is lost, then people have nothing more to argue about.

In some situations, third party intervention is acceptable

The main option for resolving a conflict is to find a way to eliminate the problem. To do this, they use negotiations, concessions, and compromise. Sometimes people reach a new stage of confrontation.

Involving third parties can help, although everyone may have a different idea of ​​the outcome of the conflict. Sometimes it is enough to eliminate one of the participants in the confrontation, remove the subject of the dispute, or try to agree on compromises.

Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts

Resolution of any conflict is possible thanks to one of the following strategies of the participants:

1. Evasion and avoidance. The method presupposes the absence of both concessions and insistence on being right. Doesn't help resolve the situation well.
2. Aggressive interpersonal methods of conflict resolution are coercive and confrontational. When used, the defeated party will feel dissatisfied after the conflict subsides.
3. Smoothing and compliance. In such a situation, it is important for partners to preserve the existing relationship to the detriment of a real solution to the problem.
4. Compromise or cooperation. This is the most optimal option for interaction, in which the parties try to find a way out through mutual concessions.
5. The solution to the problem is an ideal scenario that does not involve sacrifices on the part of all participants. Rarely occurs in real life.

How to improve relationships and avoid conflict: EXAMPLES

calibration abilities can quickly assess the situation, determine the communication style (more on this in other articles, if you want to be the first to receive this valuable information, subscribe to blog updates) of the interlocutor and behave in such a way as to establish and maintain rapport .

Observing the Law of Relationships - you already understood that, didn’t you?

And now I want to give examples of how the Law of Relationships is observed or violated in relationships.

An example of preserved family relationships:

A married couple returns home from work half an hour apart. The husband comes first. Then the wife appears, bursting with excitement: today she has been significantly promoted.

But then she notices (calibration) that her husband, still in his jacket and tie, is angrily rattling something in the kitchen and throwing everything that comes to hand.

Based on these signs, she determines (calibration): something is wrong. Instead of immediately attacking him with her good news, she establishes contact (rapport) - calmly goes into the kitchen, greets her husband, asks what happened and how he is doing.

An example of a conflict relationship in a restaurant:

Two friends decide to have dinner at a restaurant, and in the midst of a serious conversation, an unnaturally joyful waiter appears between them, not paying any attention to the atmosphere at the table (lack of calibration) and, breaking into a smile, he proclaims:

“Good afternoon, I’m Igor, your waiter for tonight!” (destruction of rapport).

Read also:  Habit in 21 days: forming, developing and consolidating a habit

The waiter failed to sense the seriousness of the situation at the table and calibrate his style - and thus hurt himself by not establishing the rapport he needed (to get a tip).

An example of a relationship in a library:

A noisy group of teenagers leaves a busy cafe and heads to the library, where they immediately adapt to the quiet library environment by lowering their voices.

This establishes rapport with those quietly working in the room.

Very often, you only have nonverbal clues at your disposal to help you calibrate the mental or emotional state of your communication partner.

List of keys to develop your calibration abilities:

You have undoubtedly observed these and other nonverbal signs more than once that indirectly or directly indicated the emotional state of your interlocutor.

• the appearance of blush on the cheeks, pallor, bluish lips;
• convulsive swallowing of air, rapid breathing, shallow breathing;
• laughing, pacing back and forth, perspiration;
• laughing, wringing fingers, biting nails;
• whisper, straight stance, stoop;
• stuttering, remaining silent, constantly looking at the clock;
• wrinkles collected on the forehead, frowning, fidgeting.

Whether you used this information to establish rapport and improve contact in your relationship or not is another matter. Share the article with your friends!

Write in the comments what is the nature of your relationships with other people in the family and at work, how you are going to use the information from this article, the Law of Relationships, in your life. What do you do to establish and maintain rapport?

If you don’t know your communication style and the communication style of your partner, take it yourself and invite your spouse/co-worker/friend/teenage son to take this NLP test online.

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