Many women have encountered a situation where, after a quarrel, a man withdraws into himself and, despite the obvious wrong, not only does not want to apologize, but even to make contact at all. Sometimes getting a well-deserved apology is not at all easy, and all attempts to force a loved one to admit their guilt end in an even bigger scandal. The reason for such difficulties is male psychology and peculiarities of thinking, knowing which, a woman will always find a way to solve the problem.
Interesting!
If a man is not able to overcome himself and say “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” this does not mean that he does not admit his mistakes.
Revenge strategy
Before taking revenge on the man who offended you, look at the situation from different angles to calculate the possible outcome. To do this you need to cool down. Perhaps yesterday the partner’s action seemed like the beginning of the end, but today the offended party will perceive it differently.
Psychologists do not advise taking revenge on a man for grievances if a woman continues to be in a relationship with him, since war is a fiasco. But if simple conversations and logical arguments are not able to change anything, and the strength to resist the blank wall has run out, it’s time to choose a punishment for the negligent man. What it will be depends on the extent of the damage caused to you.
Before deciding on a course of action, think over a punishment plan. To do this, think about all the options for the outcome of your planned revenge, weigh all the pros and cons, try to predict your man’s reaction. If he has a hot temper, think twice about whether revenge will bring you serious harm.
Proceed with action only when everything is weighed and sorted.
Why doesn't a man want to apologize?
As you know, most men are very stingy with emotions and do not like to show them even in front of their closest people. A sincere request for forgiveness is always based on an emotion or even a whole explosion of feelings and experiences that, in principle, are not characteristic of the stronger sex. It is simply impossible to shake a person into such emotional unrest within the framework of everyday routine; for this to happen, something truly terrible must happen. In addition, some are afraid to admit that they are wrong, as this will undermine their authority in front of the woman and other people.
Body language
Women are very emotional and love, as they say, “with their ears,” so they are often not able to notice male body language. Guilty husbands usually first withdraw into themselves, thinking hard about what happened, and then, realizing their guilt, silently approach their wife and begin to help her with housework, offering help through gestures, cooking or cleaning. Women with rich life experience, as a rule, still know how to understand these silent apologies and accept them, allowing their spouse to understand that he is forgiven.
Interesting!
Immediately after a quarrel or some time after it, men try to hug or kiss their beloved, thus offering her peace.
Methods of punishment
Psychologists advise not to play cat and mouse, but to openly express your grievances. But this only works when a man adequately perceives criticism addressed to him, enters into a constructive dialogue, or is ready to change. It is extremely difficult to meet such a person, so usually all conversations end in silence, protest, mutual accusations or scandal. What can a woman do who cannot express her grievances in words? That's right, describe this resentment with action.
In positive psychotherapy, N. Pezeshkian divides punishment into the following spheres: the sphere of achievement (boycott, refusal to perform household duties), the “bodily” (ignoring a partner, coldness), the sphere of reason (disrespect, slander) and contact (indifference, severance of relationships).
Let's consider punishment options from all four areas. So, how to punish a man for being offended.
Ignoring
Ignoring is one of the most effective ways to punish a negligent man for his grievances. Do you live in the same territory with him and are already tired of chronic disrespect in your direction? Tell him that from now on you will stop entering into dialogue with those who allow themselves to offend the woman they love. Keep your word. If you want to say something, write notes or SMS. Men's psychology is such that they need live communication, support, affection, and attention. If this is not given, it knocks the ground out from under even the strongest male.
If you have been betrayed, gather all your will into a fist. Your weapon is complete disregard for human existence. What could be worse for a self-confident man than admitting there is emptiness in his life. You must lie down, but become a successful, beautiful, independent, happy girl. You need willpower and cunning. Ignore any attempts by your once beloved boyfriend to talk to you, call you, write to you, or see you off. Punish the man with a disinterested look.
Book a photo session with a photographer, change your image, lose weight. Maintain your page actively, update it only with positive songs, pictures and statuses. Upload more pictures of you surrounded by young people, in new places, with a full expression of delight on your face. Believe me, men are only pretending when they express skepticism about your changes. In fact, everything inside them is seething with the thought that you are doing just fine without such a cool, successful, irreplaceable chosen one.
Yes, it will be harder done than said. However, remember that you will only punish a man for being offended when he feels disappointed. He knows that you lead an active life, don’t cry into your pillow, have made new friends, and have stopped holding on to the past. Now the once strong chosen one is crushed, offended and punished.
If you want to punish a man for inattention, then ignore sexual intimacy. An intimate boycott is a great way for representatives of the stronger sex to quickly realize their mistakes and prevent them from happening in the future.
Indifference
Such punishment differs from ignoring it in that in this case you have no intention of attracting the attention of the offender. Ignoring is manipulating a person through deliberate avoidance. Indifference has greater power. All you need to do to punish a man for the offense he caused is to live your life. Yes, you work on yourself, but you don’t put it on display. On social networks, post statuses that show your neutral mood: “Thanks to Dasha for the new manicure,” “Coursework on marketing is unexpectedly promising!”, “Vaska again decided to sharpen his claws on a new chair.” Your strength is in serenity and carefreeness!
If you had to go to an event where there will be a careless companion, behave as calmly as possible. Say hello to him if the situation requires, smile, don’t be afraid to look him in the eyes. But... this look should be the only one, then move on with your life. Chat with people, laugh, just behave as naturally as possible. Believe me, he will be fully punished by your indifference!
If you live with a man in the same territory, it would be appropriate to leave home. Your goal is to teach a lesson, punish a man, show the possible outcome of such behavior/attitude towards you. When your chosen one realizes his mistake, do not immediately run towards him, let this be an instructive lesson in the future.
If there is still love between you, be careful when choosing this punishment tactic. Be fair, otherwise you risk destroying the union.
Mirroring
The mirroring method is effective in all cases except adultery. It consists in letting a man feel pain, resentment, and disappointment through similar behavior. For example, an unfulfilled promise in return will help to take revenge on a guy for an unfulfilled promise. If he lied, you will have to do the same. “Oleg, I was dishonest with you. I said that the corporate party ended late, but in fact my colleagues and I just went to the club, and I didn’t keep track of the time at all.” There is nothing terrible in this news, but the man will experience resentment and other angry feelings for deception. Later, reveal the truth, emphasizing the importance of trust in the alliance. Explain that his pain is your pain. This is how it should be in a union.
Agree to switch roles for a day. This is a great way to see and understand each other's mistakes. Hang up on a man’s calls, just as he does to you, show up from work a couple of hours later, skip a swear word during a conversation, and occupy your computer with a game for the whole evening. Yes, the husband can become angry, angry, offended, twitchy, but sometimes the best way to punish for insults is to use the “mirror”. Your goal is to make him feel like he is in the shoes of his other half.
We hit where it hurts
When a man whom a woman loves with all her soul causes serious damage to her mental health, out of resentment she wants to hit back as painfully as possible. To punish, you need to know what the offender values. If his reputation is important to him, create a page on social networks on behalf of some girl with whom he spent a drunken night of love 3 years ago. Tell him that you gave birth to a child from him, let him worry. You can chat, or you can quickly disappear, in any case, you have already punished the irresponsible ladies' man.
If he is a gambling addict, lower the rating in his favorite game, sell the tank that the man has been building for a month, introduce a harmless virus into his laptop. If the car is of great value to him, valerian or bread crumbs will come to the rescue. Let cats and birds also fall in love with the offender’s car. You can also lose fishing hooks, a PC stylus, or an important work document.
If your spouse offends you, you can punish him by giving him a comic certificate for special self-improvement training. Do this with the words: “Darling, I read in a psychology book that only self-doubt (childhood trauma/infancy/inability to rational thinking) makes men offend their chosen ones. I give this to you and hope for your speedy healing.” Of course, your husband will be angry at such a joke, but your words will have the desired effect.
"Coincidence"
This type of punishment is suitable when a man is too vulnerable/aggressive or you simply don’t want to spoil your relationship with him. To do this, it is enough to adjust situations when he experiences discomfort for reasons beyond your control. For example, he greatly offended you by making you out to be a bad housewife. Let the migraine overcome you in a couple of days. Severe, prolonged headache, for which neither pills, nor massages, nor injections help. Let it last for 3 days, and the man remains in charge of the house. He has a responsibility, whether he wants it or not.
Let your back catch you or your boss load you up to your neck with work. Of course, there can be no talk of sex or bathing children. “I’m sorry, dear, that I can’t help you now. I am very grateful for what you are doing” or “I ask you, take a walk with your daughter outside, I need to lie in silence for a couple of hours.” And the relationship is not damaged, and you will take it out on him for all the grievances.
Small dirty tricks
“I have no idea how this happened!” - this is what helps to take revenge on a man for all the insults caused! You didn't do it on purpose, did you? Quite by accident, my favorite white T-shirt ended up in the washing machine with a red towel! Why does my husband have an intestinal disorder, since everyone ate from the same pan? “Why did half of the body turn chocolate color? Oh, I should have confused massage oil with self-tanner yesterday! Sorry, forgive me!”, “Is the casserole too salty? Wow, you’ve been asking for it for so long!”, “Where did the shoelace go? Richard probably stole it, but don’t punish the tailed prankster too much”...
If the offense is too deep and you want to properly punish the man, place advertisements of various types on numerous resources with the phone number of your chosen one. Advertisements/sections can be absolutely diverse: sushi delivery, handyman, volunteering, master of any complexity, buying Pekingese puppies, wedding photographer, etc. Of course, he will be beside himself with numerous strange calls.
Low blows
Low blows are suitable for those ladies who have seriously suffered at the hands (and not only) of a dishonest man. Damaging your partner’s sexual/business reputation will help you vent your grievances and punish the offender.
There are several ways to do this:
- if you have access to a man’s workplace, throw magazines on his desk that are of interest to people with non-traditional sexual orientation;
- call work from the skin-vein dispensary and ask such and such an employee to appear for a second examination;
- print and hang photographs of your chosen one around the area with a phone number and an offensive signature;
- send pictures to colleagues that would compromise the reputation of the offender in the team (Photoshop to the rescue);
- tell all your mutual friends that you and your man had problems of an intimate nature (unsatisfactory size, impaired sexual function of the organ, inexperience of the partner, perverted fantasies);
- create an advertisement on sexual minority websites on behalf of the offender, and distribute the offender’s number to persistent suitors.
You can simply create a page on a dating site with a real photo of your ex and a phone number, writing in the status: “Ready to be a slave” or “I’m 39, looking for someone with whom I’ll know love,” “I’m looking to meet a mature lady. I’m ready to provide for her.”
But psychologists strongly advise against resorting to this option of punishing a man. This is unsafe for the offended woman, plus it can seriously harm the man’s health and reputation. Don't take on this burden of responsibility.
Remember that insults can cause a lot of trouble, and it’s not for nothing that revenge is called a cold dish. If you have not yet cooled down from negative emotions, do not waste your energy.
If a man has cheated or is already dating another woman
You want to punish the cheater in a special way, so that he feels all the pain and resentment of the abandoned half. The best way to prick such a man is to sincerely rejoice at the fact of betrayal. “To be honest, I’m glad it all happened this way, and it was you who initiated the breakup. I stopped loving you a long time ago (I never really loved you), but I never had the courage to admit it to you,” “I’ve been looking for a reason to break up with you for a long time, because I fell in love with another man a long time ago, I’m sorry. But I truly wish you happiness, you deserve sincere love.” When a man hears such words, he experiences a whole range of feelings: anger, misunderstanding, disappointment, wild resentment. Therefore, no matter how much it hurts you, swallow your tears and say in an even voice what will morally finish off the traitor.
If he not only cheated, but is already in a relationship with another woman, try to punish the man by starting an affair with one of your mutual friends. This always hits below the belt.
Or you can punish a guy for insults through a new chosen one:
- Tell the girl (if she is adequate) about the guy’s actions, his character, bad behavior, etc. Even if she doesn’t believe it “here and now,” you will make her constantly think about it.
- If your new crush won’t listen to you or you simply don’t want to interfere in their relationship, ask an old mutual friend to do it for you. Surely you still have best friends from your previous company, right? Let the bravest and most talkative one slowly tell her new lover all the passions of your relationship and separation.
- If you are not afraid of scandals, act directly. You can punish a man for grievances by sending his new lover letters that he once dedicated to you. Jealousy has no expiration date, it is the weakness of every woman. Nothing will be lost from you, but a scandal will break out there.
- Create a real page with a photo of some stunning girl. Slowly join groups that a man is interested in, comment on his posts, flirt with him, ask to be his friend. Do not skimp on compliments, ambiguous phrases, exciting photographs. Everything he answers can act as compromising evidence for his relationship.
Or you can punish a traitor through a virtual page, killing a man’s self-esteem. Communicate, flirt, but then abruptly cut off communication. Just write goodbye: “Damn, you’re kind of boring. If I hadn’t seen your age, I would have thought that I was dealing with an 83-year-old man,” “I can’t stand narrow-minded people. No, someone also likes such guys, but it’s definitely not me.” Or you can play further with this page and make an appointment in a month. Make an appointment... and show up there yourself.
Now there are also many groups on the Internet that help punish female abusers. You join, tell your story, give your phone number and enjoy the result. They call the cheater at any time of the day or night, write intimate SMS from different numbers, lie in wait for his passion, can annoy him on social networks, etc. Such men then live a bitter life.
You can also write sweet letters from unfamiliar numbers in the evenings: “Thank you for that night,” “When will you come again?”, “You forgot something with me last time,” etc. Scenes of jealousy and tears in a couple are guaranteed . It’s a pity, of course, that another girl suffers for your grievances, but you will definitely be able to punish the man.
Two reasons why a man doesn’t admit he’s right require close attention
But in addition to the reasons described above why a man is not able to say “Sorry,” there are two more that require close female attention. If it was possible to come to terms with all the previous ones and recognize their right to exist, then these reasons carry with them more serious motives and affect the future relationship of the couple and in all other aspects of their lives.
If a man is wrong or has made a mistake, he must repent and be punished. He doesn’t know how to speak in words, let him show with deeds, but one way or another he will show that he understands his guilt and is ready to make amends for it in a way that is accessible to him.
The second most unpleasant reason is the man’s complete indifference to your feelings . Due to the fact that the male part of the population, in principle, very rarely apologizes, it is extremely difficult to determine such a circumstance, but if all your relationships indicate the presence of it, then there is no point in continuing to patiently endure everything and take the blame on yourself for the sake of preserving those feelings and relationships that no longer exist. One person is not able to make the whole family happy - this is a feasible job for two.
Whatever the reason for a man’s stubborn silence after a quarrel, at least sometimes let him understand how important his words of sincere repentance are for you and learn to apologize for your wrongness, showing him an example in this. Frank recognition does not diminish the dignity of both partners; on the contrary, it demonstrates their maturity and courage.
Sources: My husband is very offended by me and never apologizes. My husband is very offended by me and never apologizes. We make peace somehow gradually, of course... On Saturday, he really offended me, I don’t talk to him and he doesn’t... https://otvet.mail.ru/question/16300574 My husband offended me and is not going to ask for forgiveness My husband offended me I'm not even going to ask for forgiveness. https://www.liveexpert.ru/topic/view/1008415-muzh-obidel-menya-i-ne-sobiraetsya-prosit The guy never asks for forgiveness The guy never asks for forgiveness Many men simply never apologize, they don’t know how to speak words of love and ask for forgiveness. Every woman knows how unpleasant and offensive it is when her husband https://zhenomaniya.ru/health/psychology/pareny-nikogda-ne-prosit-proshteniya Why men don’t ask for forgiveness Why men don’t ask for forgiveness Whatever the final outcome of the disputes to maintain calm and a comfortable atmosphere of goodwill in the family, a woman has to give in and apologize, https://psychology-s.ru/pochemu-muzhchiny-ne-prosyat-proshheniya/
What not to do
In an obsessive desire to punish the offender, women often do stupid things, for which they later pay bitterly. This is because they are driven by anger, which blocks the mind.
So, what not to do in pursuit of revenge:
- damage someone else's property (scratch a car, break into an apartment, beat equipment in a fit of anger, set fire to his office), for this you can be held accountable;
- injure a negligent man;
- lose your own dignity in the desire to prick the cheater (cheat in response);
- take revenge on a rival (pursue, threaten, ruin her life);
- punish a man through feelings of guilt (try to commit suicide);
- involving innocent people (parents, children, loved ones) in this is unjustified cruelty on your part.
Revenge is still destructive. It can significantly spoil not only the reputation, but also the lives of people. Both for you (if you are obsessed with this feeling) and for the partner who once behaved wrongly. Psychologists advise punishing the offender only if there is no other way to let go of the situation. And if you let off steam through punishment, then only in such a way that it does not harm anyone. It will only be enough for a man to hurt his feelings and deal a blow to his male pride. Everything else is superfluous.
How to make your husband ask for forgiveness
If your spouse has committed an act that is too unsightly, where a downcast gaze and coffee brought to bed in the morning will not be enough, then there is one way to make him apologize. Men do not like conversations, and when their partner is overwhelmed with emotions, they strive to self-destruct as quickly as possible. Therefore, if a woman wants to achieve her goal, she will have to turn off her feelings for a while and turn on constructiveness.
Whether he wants it or not, a man’s brain, which loves logic and restraint, will hear his wife’s constructive comments, especially if they are replete with evidence and examples without getting personal. In this case, you will need to calmly and confidently explain why certain of his behavior or actions are unacceptable, how and in what ways they insult you as a woman. Next, you should leave him alone for a while. As practice shows, sooner or later this approach to business gives the desired result, and the man apologizes.
