Acquaintance
Until you become a level 80 pickup artist, you can only start dating a girl you know. We have already looked in detail at ways to meet girls on VK and on the street, so now we will briefly go over the points to refresh our memory of the material.
- Pay attention to your appearance and smell. Remember the rule of the three “Ps”: hairstyle, outfit and perfume must be impeccable.
- It is best to start dating with a neutral conversation. On the Internet - about the girl’s interests, in person - about the situation in which you find yourself together.
- Try to avoid templates and dubious compliments. Leave the phrase “your mother doesn’t need a son-in-law” for the gopniks.
- Watch your speech: speak politely, speak and write correctly, get rid of filler words.
- Don't try to hide your excitement - you won't succeed anyway. Be so excited that she'll think she's driving you crazy, not that you're an insecure nerd.
- If a girl refuses, do not persuade or beg. You are not a beggar.
If you have known your chosen one for a long time, it will be easier for you. She already has some idea about you, and it will be easier for her to open up to you. You may want to date a classmate or fellow student, or even rekindle your relationship with your ex. I will talk about this in detail in the article “How to find a girl.”
Your girlfriend's jealousy towards her ex
This is the situation that occurs most often, and there can be a variety of options. You need to understand who exactly is wrong. If you are presented with the fact “me or her,” without paying attention to the fact that you have a child together with your ex, then there is a manipulation that is important to stop in a timely manner and radically. This is not always possible, and if difficult cases arise, it may be worth going to a psychologist together. It is important to convey to her that you cannot put your own children at risk, and without normal communication with your ex, it is impossible to participate in their upbringing. But don’t go too far: although children are important, you have a different relationship now, and they shouldn’t suffer from lack of attention. You can't let your girlfriend feel out of place. The main thing here is to honestly set priorities. Perhaps your ex-family is so important to you that it was not worth building a new serious relationship at the moment. Or the girl who is now nearby really doesn’t captivate you so much that you are more interested in spending time with your ex, motivating this by communicating with your child.
What to do? You wouldn't like it either if you were given very little attention in a relationship. There is a minimum that allows you to maintain a partnership. If you don’t give it, then the girl can be understood. You have children and a set amount of time that you want to spend with them - which means that when entering into a new relationship, you are obliged to inform your new partner from the very beginning. Then you can remind her of this when, over time, she wants to gradually distance you from your previous family. The framework was set initially; the rules cannot be changed during the course of the play. Look at the situation from the outside and analyze what is happening - in order to understand whether the claims or manipulation have a basis. When you realize that you’ve really given up on your current relationship, don’t shrug it off, but take action. But if you're diligently maintaining a balance between communicating with your children and your new girlfriend, and she's dripping with brains, just remind her of what you agreed on at the very beginning, because nothing has changed.
Let's go on the offensive
Euphoria after a successful acquaintance usually does not last long, since it is not clear what to do next. You talk to a girl, discuss cats and world politics, but this is not exactly what you wanted. More precisely, not at all.
Don't panic as long as everything goes according to plan. Gradual rapprochement is the most effective tactic in your case. Let the girl take a closer look at you, get used to it, and gain trust. But don’t get stuck at this stage for long, otherwise you risk never getting out of the friend zone.
If you met on the Internet, take the conversation offline, otherwise, with endless correspondence, you won’t notice how you’re congratulating her on the New Year for the second time.
How to make sure you make the right choice?
If the past is over and there is no point in returning to the past, and a new object of sympathy has already appeared on the horizon, then it is necessary to act. But before that, you should take a closer look at your chosen one. Before offering a lady his heart, a young man needs to find out for himself whether he is able to accept her with all her nuances and additions. Let’s say if the chosen beauty is not alone, but with a small gift in the form of a son or a cute daughter, what should we do?
If a girl has a child, is it worth starting a relationship? After all, many men do not want to raise other people’s children, and this becomes a serious obstacle to creating a new happy family, even if the young man is very sympathetic to the baby’s mother. It could also be another nuance in the girl’s past or present, or maybe some kind of habit that the guy doesn’t like at all. That is why it is quite important to make sure that your choice is correct before confessing your feelings to a lady.
If a girl has a child, is it worth starting a relationship and even trying to somehow attract her to you? After all, she may agree to an alliance, and after the guy gets to know her better and does not come to terms with some of her shortcomings, this can deeply hurt her. This cannot be done - it is, at the very least, inhumane and inhumane.
First date
When inviting a girl to a meeting, it is advisable to avoid this very word – “date”, otherwise the beauty may become tense. Invite her to take a walk together, ride a bike, or drink coffee.
where to go
Choose a place where you can communicate calmly and easily. Recently, interactive games, various quests, and intellectual quizzes have become very popular - you can take a girl there.
Assess your capabilities soberly. You don’t need to take a girl to an expensive, pretentious restaurant and spend half your salary there to impress. But the shawarma shop “At Arsen’s” won’t do either. The space should be cozy, simple and stylish.
Under no circumstances invite a girl to your home for a first date. She will decide that you considered her easily accessible and your intentions are frivolous.
How to dress
Appearance plays an important role on a first date. You don't need to dress up too much, otherwise you risk looking comical. A shirt and jeans are a good option. Naturally, all clothes must be washed and thoroughly ironed. This also applies to underwear.
Don't forget to put yourself in order, too. Eau de toilette, fashionable haircut, everything. You must like yourself and exude confidence.
What to talk about
There is no need to strain yourself to come up with topics for conversation; let the dialogue arise on its own. Show sincere interest in the girl, and focus less on impressing her. If you are afraid of awkward silence, invite the girl to a place where conversations can be diluted with joint activities.
You can go to a master class on cooking some delicious food, play ping-pong or billiards - a place where you need to do more than talk.
Too personal and intimate topics are taboo on the first date. Financial issues too. Don’t ask a girl how much she earns or if her car was bought on credit - this is tactless.
If you have common hobbies and interests, it will be much easier for you to connect. Start discussing them, and the conversation will start on its own.
Here is a useful video on this topic.
What to do after
Be sure to walk your chosen one home after the date! Even if you have to go to the other end of the city. If the girl refuses, call her a taxi and check how she got there. Such unburdensome care captivates.
Don't forget to thank the beauty for the evening and hope to see you soon. You can do this at the end of the date or afterward by writing her a message.
Preparing for the first step
To ask a girl to date, you need to have courage. You will have to work hard, make an effort, and have the desire to build a trusting alliance. In order to marry successfully in the future, you will need to act consistently. It would be correct to first set priorities, accumulate positive energy, and create the appropriate atmosphere.
The first step sets the tone for the courtship process and creates the preconditions for building a serious relationship. It always makes sense to strive to build unlimited trust.
Hobbies and preferences
The beginning of acquaintance, as a rule, coincides with the moment when young people get to know each other. This is an interesting and exciting time, giving additional worries and joys. They have to find out each other's interests and needs and draw conclusions. In order not to get lost in guesses and assumptions, you need to strive to be attentive, communicate more and not be afraid to get to know each other. The ability to share joy is the greatest gift that can be learned. You need to find out as early as possible what a girl’s hobbies are and take into account her preferences.
Appreciate individuality, then relationships will work out much better. It is reasonable to try to praise hobbies, encourage in every possible way, and help your companion feel at the height of the situation.
Frequent pleasant communication
You need to want to create a serious relationship yourself. They will not appear on their own, without due effort on the part and a reasonable approach to what is happening. The ability to draw conclusions will also help you understand what is really happening. You shouldn't expect a girl to take everything upon herself, and the guy won't have to make an effort. Even if communication occurs at a distance, it fills the soul with positivity, helps to form new hopes and joyful impressions.
READ How to properly ignore a girl so she doesn't get offended
Correspondence often inspires, creates romance in the heart, and gives a deep sense of inner satisfaction. Live interaction is better, however, otherwise it is still possible to maintain a pleasant impression.
Compliments and flirting
Relationships cannot develop if there is no flirting and advances. The girl expects compliments, advances and pleasant statements addressed to her from the guy. It would be unreasonable to ask her to be only a friend who is not trying to make a strong impression.
Flirting is necessary for the formation of understanding, reverent and respectful attitude towards each other. This is natural behavior for a couple in love. Relationships are built according to the direction they take. Attachment will appear later, will be the result of the efforts made. If a girl begins to reciprocate, then happiness will not take long to arrive. Romance should be present at all stages of relationship development.
How to set your intentions
This is the most important and responsible point. To prevent your meetings with a girl from turning into endless friendly get-togethers, let her know that you expect more. Let's figure out how.
Nonverbal cues
It is best to demonstrate your sympathy using nonverbals: gaze, voice, gestures, light touches. If you are lost, watch how the heroes of romance films do it and learn from them. You can even practice in front of a mirror.
Monitor the girl's reaction to your signals, learn to see feedback. Try to take her hand, put your arm around her waist. If she doesn't pull away immediately, it means she enjoys your touch.
First kiss
When can you kiss a girl? There is no universal rule for everyone, look at the circumstances. If she has given the go-ahead for touching and hugging, then you can try your luck on the first date. If your attempt is unsuccessful, it’s okay. Your lady may not be ready for such a sharp rapprochement, try it next time.
But in the case of the third or fourth refusal, you should be wary, especially when you have already spent money on general leisure. Feel free to ask what caused the refusal. If the answer is unclear, tell the girl: “It’s a pity. So you didn’t like me” and leave. Rest assured, she will find a way to convince you if you are wrong. And if you’re right, well, at least you’ll save your nerves and money.
Material investments
This is a rather slippery topic. No guy wants to be used. It can be difficult to determine where this fine line lies between adequate and unjustified investments. Let's figure it out.
It just so happens in our society that in cafes, restaurants, and cinemas, a man pays for a girl. A lady will be happy to pay for herself on dates in the only case - when she likes you much more than you like her. But this is not our case; we still proceed from the assumption that initially the sympathy and initiative were yours.
If you really like a girl, you should pay for her leisure time on the first dates. At the same time, it must be within your means - do not try to show off.
Now about the gifts. While you are not yet a couple, they should be purely symbolic and not expensive. A bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, some useful little thing. Remember - your goal is not to buy the favor of your passion, but to show sympathy and attention.
If after three or four dates the girl has not made a single step towards you, close up shop. A step can be considered an initiative to communicate, a kiss, closer physical contact.
How to keep a girl as a backup option?
In order for any girl, not just an ex, to become a transit point, you need to do everything exactly the opposite of the first strategy. This will make her think that you still have some feelings for her.
1. Remind your ex-girlfriend about yourself more often. Not only calls or messages, but also go somewhere together, for example, for a walk or to the cinema. It would be a direct hit if you invite her to go to a place that is special to you. For example, this could be the nightclub where you first met. At the same time, do not forget to call the girl affectionate nicknames. Even if she was the initiator of the breakup, she will still think about the correctness of her decision. Especially if you dedicate poetry to your ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t matter whether you write them yourself or copy them from the Internet, she will appreciate it.
2. Meet your ex-girlfriend on your turf from time to time. You can invite her to your home to watch a movie alone or to a party with friends and alcohol. We all know what alcohol leads to - sex. And this is what is needed to maintain a relationship. Intimate connection does not allow women to forget the time when you were together. After several such meetings, the time will come when the ex-girlfriend will be the first to remind you of herself. If your ex-girlfriend suddenly calls you, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone, maybe she has an interesting offer for you, there’s no need to overprice yourself.
3. Congratulate your ex-girlfriend on your memorable dates. Of course, you may not remember them, but you can get any information in a conversation. As if by chance, feel nostalgic: “Do you remember, once upon a time, you and I...”, and she will most likely say exactly when that was. Usually girls remember dates. Then you can save a reminder of this wonderful event in your phone, and then offer to celebrate it somewhere. The result, as they say, will be obvious.
4. Say that you would make a great couple. Remember your disagreements, what you quarreled about. On occasion, tell your ex-girlfriend that if it weren’t for them, everything would be fine with you. This technique with the particle “would” gives hope that it is still possible to correct the mistakes of the past and start the relationship anew.
What to do in case of failure
Unfortunately, no one is immune from failure. The girl may not like you even after all your efforts. She may be in love with someone else, or you just aren't her type, it doesn't matter. You have only one choice - to fall behind.
The sooner you do this, the better impression you will leave. And if you stay nearby, like a faithful page, and shower the beauty with gifts in an attempt to take this fortress by siege, you will soon become completely disgusted with her.
Just before you retreat, ask yourself whether you really clearly expressed your intentions and did everything from the previous points. This is necessary in order not to be tormented by doubts like “what if she didn’t understand?”
What not to do if you only have sex with your ex-girlfriend?
Don't talk about your new passion if even your ex-girlfriend knows that you are dating someone. Your ex-girlfriend most likely already has doubts about your relationship, and in this way you will only increase her doubts about this, and she will decide to end the relationship. Or she may become very jealous and will do everything to eliminate her rival. And she will definitely find words for your new woman, how and what to write. Your ex-girlfriend will be offended that she is not suitable for the role of your life partner.
It’s up to you to decide what to do with your ex-girlfriend: be friends with her, have only sex, or not communicate at all.
Useful materials for those who still do not have a girlfriend
I want to recommend to you the four best relationship courses for guys. Although, they are also suitable for mature men. All the materials are very cool, I recommend that you don’t pass by.
How to build a relationship with a girl
Description. The peculiarity of this course is that there are no “schemes”, deception or lies. Roman Vinilov teaches every guy to be himself, not to pretend, not to play a role. And look for a worthy girl, build a relationship with her that will truly bring joy.
It is no coincidence that Roman Vinilov’s school is called “After Sex”. The teacher teaches guys who are looking for girls not only for sex and lust, but for something more, for stable, strong relationships, and in the long term - for starting a family.
The teacher focuses on the fact that the age of his students is “from 16 to …” - there is no upper limit. Often guys come who are lucky with sex, but who are unable to build strong relationships, guys who want to get their ex-girlfriend back, men whose wife left them and need to start all over again.
Author: Roman Vinilov.
Cost: 3,500 rub.
Pass the course
Intensive for men from Egor Sheremetev
Description. In this intensive course, Egor Sheremetyev summarized his 10 years of experience in the field of consulting guys on relationships and sex with girls. The first parts of the program are devoted to dating and building contacts. Much attention is paid to working on fears, self-doubt, complexes, etc.
What follows are the rules for building strong relationships and, of course, sex with your chosen one. Egor explains the popular mistakes of guys who take their first steps in sex and in relationships that have already become something more serious than periodic dates and walks. By repeating these mistakes over and over again, guys ruin their love and remain unhappy.
Egor will also tell you about the features of male physiology, which beginners often do not take into account. Some attention will be paid to the physiology of girls - you will know how to correctly understand your body and the body of your partner.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: only 2,990 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
Escalation of touching
Description. In my opinion, absolutely every guy should take this course. It's about how to properly touch a girl. Usually guys, overwhelmed by feelings, either behave very timidly, or, on the contrary, try to show that they are “macho”. It's off-putting.
Egor Sheremetyev will tell you how to tell a girl about your feelings using simple touches. How to touch when you have just met (and when you can even start doing this), when your relationship is already stronger, when you want intimacy with a girl, and in various other cases.
Study very carefully. You can drive a girl crazy with your fingertips, believe me.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 5,750 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
From text to sex
Description. After the publication of this course, an article was written about the author in MAXIM magazine and they called him “Honored Seducer of Russia.” Not intentionally.
“From text to sex” is a course on proper correspondence with girls. The author gives examples of unusually successful and very unsuccessful messages. Since communication through social networks and instant messengers is now becoming increasingly popular, text is becoming the main tool of communication.
When you know how to correspond with a girl, you will not need to worry about how to keep in touch with your lover in between dates, you will not be tormented by the question “What to talk about with a girl,” you will feel confident and relaxed. Reviews from guys who have already completed the course fully confirm this.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 3,750 rub. The course is currently on sale at a discount, don't miss it.
Find out more and sign up
How to start dating a girl correctly?
When sex has already happened, you need to shake up the situation smoothly. Even if you are used to sharply putting everything in its place, not this time, you will have to pause a little. The psychology of a girl is much more complex; you really need to work with her.
Here are some useful tips on this matter.
- Shorten the breaks between your meetings.
- Sex should also gradually become more and more frequent.
- Don’t lose touch, gradually try to become more and more interested in her life.
- Official proposals are not needed; for her, everything should happen naturally, simply and without serious decisions.
Here's how to start a relationship the right way, it's really simple. But you will need some additional information about seduction. Without her, things won't go anywhere. You can get it in two ways: either read my articles more often, look at thematic materials, or sign up for my course, where you will receive specific step-by-step instructions that work with all girls. And be sure to practice talking to girls! If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.
