What to do if I'm a loser: 13 reasons and 13 solutions

Loser is you
Loser

(
loser
,
weakling
, English
loser
, German
Versager
, French
guignard
, Hebrew racial
shlimazzle
) is a category of people who are simply born to lose, lose and give up. Contrary to popular belief, a loser is not an unlucky person; This is not a person who failed at something; It's not even a type. A loser is a person with a certain way of thinking.

Imagine a long line in the personnel room of some official or doctor. Arriving early in the morning, angry, sleep-deprived people have been humbly waiting for their turn to be admitted for several hours on benches in the corridor. And then a decently dressed man of about forty appears at the door. Not paying attention to people, he quickly

walks down the corridor, enters the office and leaves fifteen minutes later without saying a word. The crowd is outraged. Over the next hour, people discuss what a boor and unprincipled egoist this man is. What kind of non-humans are all these... How can the earth still bear them? This mess!

An hour passes, and the discussion dies down - everyone continues to sit and quietly wait for their turn. None of them dared to stop the impudent man and would not dare to repeat him. This article is about them, about the losers. And about you, of course.

[edit] Traits of a loser

Signs of a Loser Walk The expression “life is shit” only comes from the mouths of losers. (And it won’t save you: the PM and the cartridges in the photo are traumatic. You’re a loser)

In order not to become infected with chronic loserism, you need to set up a detector. Listed below are some of the characteristics of a loser. By the way, if you also have a couple of traits, then we have good news for you.

This person blames anyone for his problems, but not himself.

Does he have no money? Because he is paid a small salary, and everyone is hired for a good job only through connections. Has his wife left him? Because she is a whore (if her husband left, then he is a male). He didn't go to college? Because they only take nerds there or for bribes. Was he robbed by gopniks at the entrance? Because their mother gave birth and raised them incorrectly. Was he not allowed into the nightclub? Because the guard there is a scoundrel and a scoundrel. All the people around him do nothing but prevent him from living like a human being, and fatal circumstances have developed in such a way that life has become unbearably difficult.

A loser does not take care of himself and is not able to _realize_ and eliminate his weaknesses.

In general, he is very sensitive to criticism addressed to him. Instead of going to the gym, a fat woman will blame men for not appreciating her for who she is. Give me money for quality food and a gym and I’ll go there with pleasure... Instead of fitting into some crowd and making friends there, you know, besides the gym, I am in dire need of influential friends, so I invite everyone who matches my moral principles and interests to be my friends, the nerd boy will whine to the whole world, that he is lonely, and there are a lot of rednecks around him who don’t understand him.

A loser does not calculate the situation and always hopes for circumstances.

He cannot predict the upcoming problem, which is why problems snowball onto him. Periods of calm (when everything is stable) alternate with periods of hellish difficulties. Therefore, if a person talks about black and white stripes in life, he is definitely a loser.

The loser knows how to arrange Russia,

but cannot furnish his own apartment.

A loser cares about the opinions of others about him.

In general, the ability to listen to other people's opinions is a sign of an adult. However, in losers this trait is so hypertrophied that they are ready to act to their detriment in order to save face in front of others. A loser analyzes all his words and actions for “what will they think of me?”, so he acts not out of his own interests, but out of fear of other people and feelings of guilt.

The loser is out of luck.

At the same time, he believes that in the whole world he is the only one unlucky: he was born at the wrong time, to the wrong parents, he was raised in the wrong way, settled in the wrong place, had a bad influence, etc. A loser constantly broaches his past and relives his failures over and over again. In combination with the previous trait, this turns into strange phobias like: “What did people think of me when I said such and such.” The most interesting thing is that this really bothers a real loser.

The loser doesn't have enough time.

It seems that he could do everything and achieve everything, but there is no time, even cry! For endless hours of playing games, watching TV, sitting in a cozy little place or with friends and drinking beer, etc. - yes, but for something useful for improving a dull self - no.

A loser is stupid.

He doesn't receive new information. But not because there is no way to get it, but because he simply doesn’t want to do it. Any incoming data puts his brain into a state of cognitive dissonance, and therefore the loser is not interested in anything, is not carried away and is categorically incapable of learning. Perhaps he was once taught to do some kind of work, so he does it every day, afraid to take a step left or right towards the unknown.

A loser is envious.

He hates people more successful than him, and tries in every possible way to denigrate them, at least in his own mind. Pop singers - they don’t know how to sing, and only get on stage through their bed. Politicians - they engage in chatter and do not fulfill their promises. Officials are thieves and corrupt officials: they are a mafia profiting at the expense of the common people. Businessmen are scammers everywhere trying to deceive law-abiding citizens. Scientists are doing something that no one needs. And so on. If a loser travels by public transport, then motorists will throw mud at them. If he is a motorist, the distribution includes member carriers with flashing lights. If he lives in the castle, he hates Muscovites. If he lives in Moscow, then he hates the residents of Rublyovka.

If something doesn’t work out for a loser one time, he immediately gives up.

with the thoughts “this is not mine, not for me” and is not even going to try again. Such people are the main consumers of the philosophy “This is not the main thing,” because the subconscious of a loser will happily take advantage of the first convenient attempt to avoid difficulties and continue to whine about how hopeless life is and how hard it is for him. As a result, losers have a complete lack of experience in almost any complex activity, which is why any problem, even if it can be solved with simple diligence, is perceived by them as a critical failure and fiasco.

The speech of a loser is very characteristic. A loser constantly complains about his life.

The word “survive” often slips into it, as well as “I can’t...”, “if only...”, “I have to...”, “that’s how it all turned out...” and the absolute classic “it turned out that way...”, well, you get the idea the point, maybe he found out, huh?

A loser has an excuse for any occasion in life, especially for someone else's success.

For example, someone from the loser’s circle goes to success: gets a promotion at work, achieves results in sports, enjoys success with the opposite sex, is happy in the family, etc. If a loser sees this, he tries to trample this person into the mud by cheating among his acquaintances there is gossip, ridicule and squabbles. Since the opinion of others is the only motivator for the actions of a loser, he believes that a bad opinion of a person will force him to “sink” into the same swamp in which the loser himself rots.

As a rule, the subject comes up with a hundred reasons why he is in such a mess, and his friend is successful and thriving. For example: “he has influential relatives”, “he is ready to sell his own mother”, “he is lucky” and similar nonsense. At the same time, he will never say: “he is stronger,” “he is probably smarter,” “apparently, he has qualities that I do not have.”

Try telling the loser about your “friend” who is half his age, or at least 5 years, but is financially secure, has hundreds of friends, a beautiful woman and respect in society. Your interlocutor’s face will turn purple or twist into a grimace, he will look down and say something sharp like: “I’m not interested in this!” - or he will completely break down into hysterical inadequacy. He will not admit for a second that this is possible, especially in an “honest way,” and if he does, he will definitely attribute everything to circumstances next week.

With age, the average loser progresses to the next stage. He ceases to be interested in the real world, he is completely disappointed in himself and comes to terms with the fact that his life is shit and he will no longer achieve anything in it. Such a person is called desperate.

Why did I become a loser

“How to live if you feel insignificant?” - such thoughts come to the minds of completely different people: choleric people and phlegmatic people, lovers of life and misanthropes, introverts and extroverts, optimists and pessimists. Temporary despondency has gripped each of us at some point in time, only to a greater or lesser extent. Since material well-being is a priority in all aspects of life, it is generally considered to be the main factor of luck. To some extent, this is true, since a person needs a certain amount of money every day in order not to die of hunger. At the same time, each of us knows that money cannot fully satisfy human needs, especially with regard to moral aspects. A worthless person feels like such when he is not loved, disrespected, or simply ignored. And the degree of his worries, believe me, does not depend in any way on the amount of deposits in his accounts.

In support of the above thought, we can recall great people who remained in poverty during their lifetime and only received recognition after death. Can they really be called losers, since they have gained worldwide popularity? We consider them the most successful, but neither Van Gogh, nor Gauguin, nor hundreds of other masters unrecognized during their lifetime were able to experience the rays of glory. They suffered and needed an extra penny, considering themselves the most insignificant people in the world.

[edit] How to deal with a loser

Avoid and ignore, not allowing the loser to uncover his shit-thrower of complaints.

Even if you have an excellent immune system, this is not a reason to walk through contaminated barracks. A loser can infect you with his way of thinking. They say that losers are like the flu: once you communicate with such a person, you yourself become like him. And even if your mosk turned out to be strong enough, and you, filled with humanism, are trying to console the whiner and set him on the right path - in 95% of cases he will only waste your time, cause you despondency and will continue to enjoy whining. Sad but true. Only a skillfully called butthurt can pull a whiner out of his stinking comfort zone.

He will begin to hate and envy you when he realizes that you are better than him. He will try to throw you off your pedestal and do you harm in every possible way, or he will withdraw into himself and stop communicating with you.

He is rude and uncultured

Good manners and pleasant speech are the first things that attract people to you. But a person who is rude to everyone around him is unlikely to become pleasant in someone’s eyes. No one will want to communicate or deal with him. A polite attitude towards people will help anyone on the path to success.

Give people a little warmth and smiles, and you will notice how things will go up. You will immediately find new friends, which means new connections and opportunities. Positivity is the best weapon to win people's hearts.

[edit] Militant Losers

Loser
Nobody likes to be a loser, and therefore there is a certain group of losers with an attack type psychological defense mechanism. That is, if you haven’t achieved something in life, then you shouldn’t achieve it, but rather criticize the more persistent and successful ones, passing off their achievements as something unworthy. Examples:

• folds of fat hang down and it’s hard to lift even bags of groceries - “I’m not a stupid jock with only a gym in my head”;
• I have neither the skills nor the willpower to work nine hours a day, it’s better to hang on my parents’ necks - “I’m not an office plankton jacked off by corporate schizophrenia”;
• there is no girlfriend because of the client’s low social skills and lack of interest as a man - “I don’t want to strive for the fast values ​​of family life, sit at home with my wife and children, wash soiled diapers, wait until the child falls asleep to have sex, and who knows what else will grow out of it";
• I don’t have my own car despite the non-illusory need that exists in it - “I don’t want to take out a Ford Focus on credit and become a slave to the bank, and I don’t need a rusty Zhigul or a worn-out Volkswagen Pasrat for nothing”;
• I don’t have my own living space - “I have my own separate room, and my parents and I don’t interfere with each other at all, and now only millionaires can buy their own apartment.”
• “And remember, daughter: a decent girl is a priori incapable of achieving any heights. All these actresses, singers, TV presenters or Golikovs/Baturins/oligarchic wives got through exclusively through blowjobs and anal, and not at all thanks to their intelligence and talent. The goal of any decent girl is to marry some redneck at the age of 17-18, so that for the rest of her life she can consistently have tights on March 8th and pussy every night.”

When a sore subject comes up, there is an immediate response with an attack and an attempt to trample those discussing into shit.

It’s a no brainer that every thing has both pros and cons. It is easy to notice that a militant loser, in the absence of achieved advantages, for some reason takes credit for the absence of disadvantages. Although there is no merit in this, since if you don’t do anything, then, naturally, there will be no disadvantages. But there will be no advantages either.

Money can not buy happiness

“I recently met a classmate - he has a country house, a beautiful girl. And it takes me ten years to pay off a loan for a two-room apartment, and my relationship with my wife is not going well. A real loser, what can I say..."

Twenty-nine-year-old Alexey is clearly depressed. He doesn’t realize that very successful and very rich people find themselves in the same state every day. A loser, contrary to the popular stereotype, is not one who has little material wealth, but one who, despite all efforts, cannot make his life the way he wants. This is the inner feeling of yourself. Only people with ambition can come to this assessment. If you didn't want to achieve anything and didn't achieve it, there's nothing to suffer about. But if there was a goal, but it was not possible to achieve it, the person begins to think that he is a loser.

However, not everyone comes to this conclusion. Those who consider themselves losers have certain psychological characteristics.

[edit] Psychological vampires

Some losers, unable to appreciate the true reasons for their bad mood, constantly seek emotional support from others. This is the type of loser complaining. Moreover, he complains about everything: he was born in the wrong country, at the wrong time, there is no money, the boss is an asshole, and even in the subway there is a crush, they won’t let him solve the crossword puzzle. The loser strives to tell all this to someone who will listen to all this and, especially preferably, coo/assent. It is useless to argue and give logical arguments due to the severe form of the patient's FGM.

In addition, psychological vampires strive to replenish their ranks (they are vampires!). For example, if someone from the psychological vampire’s circle suddenly doesn’t want to be a loser, then the psychological vampire makes every effort (aka “considers it his duty to guide”) to stop him.

Examples:

• I’m so tired of my boring life, I want to go to the rehearsal of the KVN team tomorrow, maybe they’ll let me play with them... - “Who needs you there? You don’t know how to play the guitar, you didn’t have a voice either, you just have to grimace on stage like an animal, it’s better to take notes, at least they write smart things here”;

• I'm so tired of walking down the street and shying away from every passerby. I'll sign up for boxing tomorrow. - “Well, if you like getting punched, sign up, then by the age of 30 you will be disabled, blows to the skull will not go away without a trace, and your teachers also told you from school that it’s not for you to hit people’s faces”;

• I want to open a business here, maybe it will work out... - “What a fool, why don’t you like unloading the cars? I had an acquaintance, he decided to start a business, he was imprisoned, his apartment was taken away for debts, do you want to do the same?”

In the form of arguments “why it’s not worth it”, sad arguments usually appear about how unfair the world is, that we were born in the wrong place, but maybe it would have turned out that way, and all this smoothly flows into daily whining.

What to do to avoid being a failure in life:

1. Fortunately, pessimism is not a chronic disease, and you can change your view of the world, the main thing is to want to. Try to pay attention only to the positive aspects, to beauty, to kindness, to how many good things there are in life, and gradually your opinion about life will change.
2. Try to appreciate every minute of your time and don’t waste it in vain. Don’t waste time on people who only depress you and make you doubt yourself, it’s better to pick up a book and start reading, taking notes, than to have meaningless, stupid conversations.
3. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for your actions. Even if you stumble and fall, nothing bad will happen, it will be a valuable experience. Otherwise, it’s even nice to be responsible; you will feel that you are in control of your life, that it depends on you, and not on your bosses, neighbors, or other people.
4. Break boundaries, erase restrictions. We live in unusual times when everything is possible, and the examples of many people prove this. Fly, be inspired by new horizons. Strive to wake up happy every morning because you love your life and enjoy it.
5. “Desire is 1,000 possibilities, and reluctance is 1,000 reasons.” Don't look for excuses, excuses humiliate. Look for opportunities and do it.
6. Don't wait for Monday, start right now. Today is the best day!
7. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. “Glorious and great indeed is he who holds his tongue in anger.” Be polite.
8. Take action!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. Don't be afraid of anything. Much of what scares you will never happen. It is a fact.
10. To be happy or to suffer - you choose! Shake off your apathy and motivate yourself. The result will not be long in coming, and “water does not flow under a lying stone.”
11. Conquer laziness and you will achieve everything you dream of.
12. Never envy anyone. Everyone has their own victories and defeats in life, focus on yourself and your life, and don’t look at others.
13. Always try to finish what you start. The habit of stopping halfway is bad, and is one of the qualities that urgently needs to be gotten rid of. By giving up ahead of time, you miss out on a sea of ​​opportunities along the way.

[edit] Unrecognized geniuses

Audio description of an ideal spherical subject in a vacuum
These are reflective losers who are convinced that they could become successful people and even change the world, but who are constantly hindered by something. Since childhood, they have been bullied at school, there are also only idiots in the yard, and at home their parents are interested in work and evening TV series and also don’t give a damn about their genius. In adult life, nothing changes - there are again only rednecks around. As a result, a person slides into shit and ceases to value himself. Some of the unrecognized geniuses even openly call themselves failures, secretly expecting refutation and support, but the result is known. In fact, their main problem is weak will, complete inaction and even the search for reasons not to do anything, laziness and absolute spinelessness, fear of failure. Many of them actually have some abilities, literary or musical, for example. But, alas, there is a huge distance between “ability” and real professionalism, and for the reasons mentioned above, they cannot overcome it.

Another difference between this type of loser is that he does not envy other, more successful people and would even like to get to know them. But usually successful people, like any loser, for some reason are not drawn to him. However, sometimes such a genius still finds support for himself and achieves success, but this happens much more often in films. In real life, everything is more severe, because even having found such support, instead of still benefiting, he only complains out of habit that no one understands him, of which he has convinced himself so much that it is no longer possible to dissuade him. Sad but true.

Constantly irritated and nervous over trifles

Losers are annoyed by everything in the world - neighbors, the government, the weather, and even sparrows under the window. They notice only the bad in everything and get irritated by little things. Lucky people evoke especially negative emotions in them. Envy haunts them. But instead of always envying other people’s happiness and success, you can be sincerely happy for your neighbors.

If you want to take the first step towards your own luck, get rid of negative thoughts from your head and learn to look at the world more positively. Life is full of bright colors, you just have to notice them. And don’t forget that thoughts materialize.

[edit] Famous losers

Failed.
There are no such people. A loser doesn't become famous because he doesn't achieve anything in life. Only a grave overgrown with moss in the cheapest place in the cemetery will perhaps remind you of the little gray man who once lived. However, the Great Russian Literature describes an incredible number of such individuals, which gives the impression that the very idea of ​​​​being a loser is the Russian equivalent of the American Dream.

It is useless to compile a numbered list by analogy with a magazine chart, since the concept of “leading position in the list” contradicts the subject of the article. Therefore, we will assume that all instances are on the same level:

• Akakiy Akakievich, the unforgettable hero of Gogol’s “Overcoat” (at the end of the story Akakiy reformed, but the happiness did not last long, because the main character was robbed and, having lost his warm overcoat, caught a cold and passed on to another world).
• Karandyshev and Paratov from “Dowry” and Katerina from “The Thunderstorm” by Ostrovsky.
• Dostoevsky's characters: Devushkin, Raskolnikov, Marmeladov, Lebedev, Ferdyshchenko, Snegirev... thousands of them!!! Perhaps the most epic example is the main character of Notes from Underground.
• Characters by A.P. Chekhov (but Anton Palych, unlike Mr. Dostoevsky, trolls losers instead of showing understanding and sympathy): Ivan Dmitrich Chervyakov from the story “The Death of an Official”; Ranevskaya and her family from The Cherry Orchard; uncle Ivan; Treplev from the play “The Seagull”; Ivan Laevsky (“Duel”); Ivan Gromov (“Ward No. 6”) and Doctor Ragin, who became infected from a patient and ended up there; the boy Volodya from the story of the same name, who could not stand all his failures and committed suicide.
• Maxim Gorky also did not disdain subjects: Baron (“At the Depths”) and Klim Samgin guarantee.
• Ilya Ilyich Oblomov, Alexander Aduev and Boris Raisky, protagonists of Goncharov’s trilogy “ABOUT...”.
• The unforgettable Golovlev family by Mikhail Evgrafovich Saltykov-Shchedrin.
• Bernard Marx, the hero of Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World": envious, jealous, constantly dissatisfied with his life.
• Damilola Karpov. Even the rubber woman, for the purchase of which he still has to repay the loan, was sick of him.
• And, of course, such very famous characters as Lensky and Onegin by Pushkin and Grushnitsky by Lermontov.

The list can be continued indefinitely, it will be so large that it would be even better to hide it.

In modern literature, the only loser known among office hamsters is the guy with the dollars. Okay, he has the Evil Eye trait, imbued with the energy of Darkness.

In the zombie box, a striking example of a subject loser is Sergei Yuryevich Belyakov.

[edit] Examples of true losers

• Beatard - with the eternal attitude of D'Artagnan and stories about how he almost lost his virginity.
• Hickey is an unrecognized genius who shoots at his mother’s cigarettes until he’s forty.
• An Omega male is a typical loser.
• Shlimazel is a kosher loser.
• An assaholic is not who he is, this is how life is!
• Shinji is the epitome of anime's underdog.
• A sucker is a profit-making loser!
• The snowflake generation—if you make the loser mindset the ideological driver of an entire generation.
• Incels are, in a broad sense, everyone who can’t hook up with a guy, and in a narrow sense, they are the typical heroes of our article, and even militant ones who have formed almost a sect.

Sign of a Loser #6 – Naive hope for a wonderful future

A loser blindly believes that if he feels very bad now, then later everything will change for the better, and he will turn into a lucky person. The poor man mentally tries on the role of the rich man. Dryshch looks at bodybuilders and thinks that in the future he will definitely become muscular. A student who uploads let's plays on YouTube about all sorts of Minecraft dreams of hundreds of thousands of subscribers and millions of views. It is painful for losers (and indeed for many individuals in general) to say to themselves: “I am an ordinary person. I probably won’t achieve anything, and even if I achieve it, it will be meager results.” However, it would be incorrect to blame people for their daydreaming - after all, this is how they save their psyche.

[edit] See also

• Demotivators were once a useful resource for trolling losers. Now I've descended into fucking shit.
• The problem is you, Get it first, I feel sorry for you - arguments of losers against losers.
• This is not the main thing - the main argument of the losers.
• A midlife crisis will not pass by a loser.
• Become an hero is the solution to all problems.
• A maniac is what happens if the disease is not treated.
• Sad shit - sort of a loser.
• Nolifer - and another variety of...
• Poor - nuff said.
• Everyone is a fag, and I am d'Artagnan - until a loser realizes otherwise, he will remain a loser.

Doesn't listen to other people

The problem with many sore losers is self-confidence and selfishness. They are convinced that they are always right and do not need anyone’s advice at all. Of course, no one likes to be taught, but you still need to listen to the words and comments addressed to you. Perhaps among them there will be information that is very useful for you.

Do not rush to ignore other people’s criticism - there may be a rational grain in it. Learn to analyze the words and advice of others, rather than self-confidently dismiss them.

[edit] Links

• Article “Why am I such a loser? Who is to blame and what to do?" - the musician shares his thoughts...