Men and women inherited different strategies and values in relationships from prehistoric ancestors. The ancient hunter went off on a quest, leaving those who depended on him in a state of uncertainty and expectation. Therefore, the stronger sex needs at least the illusion of freedom. Ladies need stability and predictability. A woman should adhere to a simple rule (especially at the very beginning of a relationship): never openly force yourself on a man! This behavior is fraught with the exact opposite of the desired effects: the man will either “run away” or begin to manipulate, using his partner to his advantage.
This is not an easy task for a woman. The fair sex has an urgent need to achieve confirmation of stability, their attractiveness, and readiness to continue the relationship. Girls are more susceptible to the threat of falling into dependent, unequal relationships. This is normal, historically determined, you should not reproach yourself for the fact that signs of obsessive actions suddenly appeared. But in order to respect, first of all, your own interests, you should think about changing your style of behavior towards a man.
No matter how attractive a potential or actual partner may be for a woman, despite the strongest desire to “attach” him and continue the relationship, even in a state of love, it always makes sense to ask yourself the question: “Is it worth imposing yourself on a man?” And the answer in 99.99% of cases is: “No!”
Fear of getting bored or bored
A girl will not write to a guy first if she likes him very much, but she is afraid of boring him or boring him. Many girls mistakenly think that by writing to a young man first, they force him to communicate with them. They never think that perhaps he is waiting for news from her, opening his page on a social network or the treasured “click” symbolizing the receipt of a new message from her. Because he himself is embarrassed to write to her first for the same reasons.
Does a guy constantly look at you, but does nothing?
What does this mean and what does it mean:
- The guy is trying to remember where he has already seen you...
Maybe you have known him for a very long time? Look at him one more time! You can do more if you are tormented by doubts.
- You look like his first love or his ex-girlfriend (wife)
He is aware that this confuses you, but he is not able to “fix” anything.
- The little man admires you!
You are wrong to think that this is unrealistic! Many men like your appearance... Believe in your own irresistibility!
- A young man wants to meet you!
He is still diligently looking through dating options.
- The guy is waiting for the moment when he can tell you something...
What? “Then you’ll find out when he says everything!”
- He wants to invite you somewhere! Dreams...
He doesn’t want to spoil his mood with your refusal. If he invites you, agree, don’t refuse!
Tips for girls
Don't be offended by your boyfriend if he writes to you in monosyllabic sentences, just to the point. This is how male logic works; it is much easier for them to write “Everything is ok” than to describe how good everything is. This is what distinguishes boys from girls. Don't be upset, write first if you are dating. Many young people tend to think that correspondence is a waste of time, and it is better to spend it with a girl in real life, rather than communicating virtually.
Here are the main reasons why guys don't text first. Good luck in your relationship!
How to respond to scrutiny
It is human nature to desire reciprocity, and when a man does not take his eyes off, he is waiting for an answer. A positive reaction from the interlocutor, meaning mutual sympathy (smile, nod, touch), will be an incentive for the guy to act further.
Of course, it often happens that the desired emotion is missing from the gaze. The main thing in this situation is not to confuse sympathy with the manifestation of other feelings (irritation, anger, etc.).
If at the moment of visual contact the lady does not experience discomfort, then there are no negative emotions on the part of the man. The girl is advised to take a wait-and-see attitude and not rush to conclusions and analyze the young man’s behavior.
If a woman wants to demonstrate that she is not against communication, she needs:
- establish prolonged visual contact, then abruptly switch to the lips, stop, as if examining them, and look into the partner’s eyes again;
- catch the eye, looking eye to eye for a long time.
How to distinguish?
With the correct reading of the male gaze, you can look inside the soul and understand what exactly the object of observation is experiencing during a meeting: desire, love or simple interest.
Intimate
Sexual attraction is revealed by the languor of the gaze and where the eyes of the interlocutor linger. More often, a man, on a subconscious level, tries to note for himself the advantages of his partner, which is manifested in the study of open parts of the body: neckline, shoulders, legs.
Be sure to read:
How to flirt with guys and men?
Instead of an open smile, a semblance of a grin appears on the face, accompanied by periodic pursing and licking of the lips.
Flirting
A flirting look is a hint of a desire to develop a relationship. A man is at the stage of choosing a partner, but gives a clear advantage to his interlocutor. A girl's merits are assessed at a moment when she does not notice it. The eyes do not descend below the level of the face in anticipation of a response and action on the part of the woman.
Loving
This is exactly the option that you want to recognize among the rest. A characteristic difference is the study not of the partner’s body, but of her facial features. A man looks intently at the moment of communication and is not distracted by extraneous stimuli.
Save information about yourself and your affairs
Understatement is a great weapon for women of all times. You should not dump a stream of emotions and information on your partner, revealing yourself completely to him. If you have a craving for this, it’s better to chat with a close friend.
In relation to a man, it is better to be slightly incomprehensible, encouraging him to ask questions and a desire to get to know you better. A representative of the stronger sex will be more likely to be disappointed in a girl who is completely open and studied than in one who still has many hidden facets.
In addition, men have a different communication style. They are not supporters of unnecessary words and empty talk. For the stronger sex, specificity and information content are more important. Of course, you shouldn’t completely become like them, but still a woman should learn to speak and write to the point. Clear answers to questions without unnecessary details, speech that is understandable for a man without hints and metaphors will quickly allow you to find a common language with him.
In each phrase you can leave a loophole for further conversation. By doing this, the woman will not only maintain interest in herself, but will also help the man to have a casual conversation. By the way, this technique is a very good way to “test” a guy’s interest in you.
Compare two options:
- “I’m leaving at night” (without specifying the purpose and
- "I'm leaving at night." - “For how long? When you return, I want to meet you.”
Or a potential partner asks clarifying questions, demonstrating his interest in participating in the woman’s life. Or she “plows one line,” talking about herself, her desires, ignoring the obvious gaps in her stories. Having understood this, it will be easier to find ways to stop chasing a guy or man who is only passionate about himself.
Why are men afraid to approach a woman?
He is afraid of embarrassing himself in front of his friends
Looking like a fool in front of your friends means a lot more to a man than a woman can imagine. What if he comes up to you, and you turn him away or give him a deadly blank look? What, he thinks, if your boyfriend now returns from the bar with a martini in his hands? There is only one thing left for him to do: m-e-d-l-e-n-o turn around and retreat to his friends, who will poke him in the ribs and make fun of him, thus lowering his self-esteem and ensuring that he is more Never in his life will he start a conversation with a stranger.
These fears are so primal and rooted in the male psyche that even if you give him the signal to approach you, he may still interpret it incorrectly.
Failure with the opposite sex is a huge blow to the male ego, greater than any woman can imagine. This fear of humiliation fuels the male tendency to invent supposed adventures, which is why men who never sleep with anyone still brag about their victories to their friends. This is why young guys brag to each other about the women they allegedly slept with, or the fact that a hot model gave them her phone number, or the number of dates they went on in the last week.
The desire for confirmation of sexual attractiveness explains male posturing and the kind of desire to surpass others that so openly rules the behavior of men. Have you ever noticed that friendships between men are centered around tearing each other down and making the other look like a fool? Male friendships are still often built on the struggle for status.
Moreover, a man most actively fights for his social status among his peers. The men whose opinions he cares about most are not strangers at the bar, but his friends. It is within his own company that he must fight for dominance, and that is why any public humiliation, especially from a woman, is so painful for him.
He's afraid of what you and your friends might say
The risk of being rejected by you and the ridicule he imagines your girlfriends will later heap on him is so excruciating that a man would rather back down than risk the prospect of being rejected. If you see him talking to other women, chances are he's doing it because he feels like he has absolutely nothing to lose here.
When it comes to the average man, the woman who drives him crazy is the one who scares him the most. He feels unworthy of her. It seems to him that she can choose any man from those present. And his status as a man is at stake, so if he approaches her and she rejects him, he will feel that same acute pain of rejection that we all instinctively try to avoid.
In this respect, men and women are not so different from each other. You probably feel just as uncomfortable around a man you find attractive as a man does around a woman he's attracted to. Imagine how much easier it is to flirt and be sexy with a man you are not interested in; the same is true for us men.
Why is this so? In the company of friends, it’s easy to describe our wonderful qualities and everything that makes us ideal candidates; but when we sit opposite the person who has the power to hire us, we tighten up because we care about the result. The moment you begin to depend on a man's approval, all those qualities that make you an energetic, spontaneous, intriguing, sexually attractive woman mysteriously disappear somewhere.
Limon.KG
- You are a beautiful, smart girl. You always look great, always have a favorable attitude towards others. But has the following ever happened to you: you notice how a guy is looking at you with a greedy gaze. You see that he likes you, but he is in no hurry to come up and get to know you. Why is this happening?
The answer is very simple - the man is afraid. What, you ask? Let's try to figure out what scares men so much about beautiful girls.
Firstly, a man is simply afraid to approach you, because he thinks that you will certainly refuse him. Just imagine, he gathered all his strength into a fist and decided to take such a step - to approach the stunning beauty. And then I took it and was refused. Moreover, this happened in front of everyone around. What's the result? The guy's self-esteem drops to the level of the plinth, cursing everything in the world, he promises himself that he will never be the first one in his life again.
You just have to understand, do you need such a cowardly guy? Girls, you need to know that if a man is really interested in you, then nothing will stop him and he will get your attention. Well, or at least he will try to do so.
Another reason, just don't laugh. The guy is afraid to meet a beautiful girl because he doesn’t know what to do with her next if she agrees to leave her phone number. Is it funny to you? But the reality is that the guy is so unsure of his abilities and that he can interest a girl that he is scared by just the thought that she might agree to go on a date with him.
He is afraid to approach you because he thinks that you and your friends will laugh at him. And this is the worst punishment for a man and his self-esteem. So, if you also like him, then you should move away from your friends with him. Men are very vulnerable, and only we can protect them from serious blows to their self-esteem.
All the reasons for men's fear of beautiful girls come down to the banal - lack of self-confidence. And you, sweet and beautiful girls, have absolutely nothing to do with it. Only the man himself can deal with his fears and complexes. But, if his sympathy for you is really strong, he must overcome all his fears. Otherwise, he will miss, perhaps, the very one - his only one.
Another reason why he doesn’t approach you is because he doesn’t want to. Yes, he looked at you all evening. But watching in our country is absolutely not prohibited. He admired your beauty and that’s it, he doesn’t want to do anything else. Why, you ask? Maybe he is lazy or he has a girlfriend, but he has no desire to go against her, even if he really liked you.
Girls, if guys are afraid to approach you, just because you are too beautiful, and he is afraid that you will reject him or that he will not be attracted to you, this is not your problem, therefore, you should not be upset and think, that you are the reason. Let him regret that he missed such a chance to meet a beautiful girl.
But, still, if the man you like does not dare to approach you. And you really like him, and then you will regret for a long time that you didn’t meet him, there are several ways that a man should do to overcome his fears.
Firstly, it is not necessary to come up and immediately start getting to know each other and declaring your love. You can come up with some interesting question that will intrigue the girl.
A beautiful girl is not necessarily a fool. It's time to bury this stereotype. Just because a girl is beautiful doesn't mean she doesn't have enough gray matter in her brain.
A man must understand that his self-doubt is just the fruit of his imagination. Only the young man himself can increase his self-esteem.
Today we’ll touch on a very sensitive topic about why men don’t show activity, don’t show courage, and don’t come up to meet people. Sometimes it even happens that you feel that a man likes you, but for some reason he still doesn’t approach you and passes by.
Why don't guys text first after meeting?
There can be a great many reasons, so a girl should not immediately get upset, much less suffer because of this. The situation can be quite trivial - the guy is busy with school or work, he is very tired and he does not have time to call the girl. The main difference between guys and girls is that he won’t waste time on half-hour conversations. Men often prefer to finish their important business first and then think about a girl, especially if you met recently. He considers himself a free person, so he doesn’t think about the fact that he is obliged to call every few hours the girl with whom he recently went on a date.
What to do if men don't approach you to meet you
What to do? It is clear that you don’t need to be too intrusive and demonstrate your interest, but you need to be able to provoke a man to get acquainted. and the basis here is to show him that you are open to dating, you are open to communication, you are open to romantic relationships. And in this regard, the two most powerful means will help you: a look and a smile, and when combined and applied correctly, it gives the effect of a bomb exploding. In order to learn how to do this, to develop this skill in yourself, you need to do one simple exercise. It is done over the course of two weeks: during the first week, when you leave the house, no matter where you are: in the subway, on a minibus, in a shopping center, on the street, you look every passing man straight in the eye. Men feel when they are being looked at, and they also look up at you, and at this moment the main thing is not to look away first. The purpose of this exercise is not to meet someone, to please someone, the purpose of this exercise is to train the skill of boldly looking into the eyes. Not every person can do this. Do not think at this moment what they will think of you, whether you will be considered adequate or not, this is just training a skill and treat it that way. In the second week, you add a smile to this, that is, you go, look at the man, he looks up at you, you look him straight in the eyes for a few moments, then smile sweetly and move on. You don't need to meet anyone, you don't need to say anything, you just look them in the eyes, smile and move on. Believe me, 99.9% of the time they won’t think anything bad about you; any normal, adequate man will think: “Well, finally, I found one normal woman who gave me a smile and a few pleasant moments.” By doing this exercise constantly, you will develop the skill of being open to communication and making acquaintances, and your success with men will increase many times over.
Why shouldn't you impose?
Most ladies have ever followed a diet and know about the principles of proper nutrition. Many of them can be “transferred” to a relationship with a man, especially at the beginning of acquaintance:
- “You need to get up from the table with a feeling of slight hunger” : the partner in contact should not be 100% satisfied, it is desirable that there be a reason, interest, and reasons for the next meeting. Let such ancient examples be forgiven, but the great image of Scheherazade can be taken into service.
- “Everything is possible, but in limited quantities” : open flirting, initiative, and a woman’s activity are acceptable, but within reasonable limits.
- “Anything that is too much is harmful” : a girl should not be present in excess in a relationship. Leave space for your partner to show up. After all, follow the old wisdom: “If there are 20 steps between you, it only makes sense to take 10 towards the other person.”
- “Count calories” : the “take-give” balance in a relationship is as important as monitoring the ratio of energy expenditure and food eaten. For every activity of a woman there should be an adequate response from a man. Otherwise, the relationship is futile. An “overfed” partner is as lazy and uninitiative as an overfed domestic cat.
A man quickly gets tired of the increased attention and loses interest in the intrusive girl. For him, the one who demonstrates an increased desire to be close is underlined by a feeling of personal inferiority, accessibility to everyone. A woman who skillfully keeps her distance not only feeds the male instinct of the hunter, but also maintains her “face,” dignity and attractiveness in any situation.
Of course, you will always decide what strategy and tactics to follow in your relationship with your partner. To be available and intrusive, just so as not to be left alone, or to keep a distance, not fully disclosed, with the risk that the “consumers” will seem too proud - it is always the woman herself who chooses.
What to do if a guy looks at you. What to do if a guy looks straight into your eyes?
Whether a man’s intentions are clear or not, there is no need to sort things out with him.
It is better to leave him the right to act, if he has sympathy. But you should avoid him if his gaze shows obvious aggression. It is recommended to show indifference to a guy when it is clear that he is only interested in appearance. And if it is clear that his gaze means only sexual interest, the man should be rejected. After all, temporary relationships will not lead to anything good. A girl seeking advice might be advised to observe her classmate. After all, there are people who look at everyone openly and for a long time. If this guy is one of them, you should just accept this classmate for who he is. And you don’t need to think about what it means when he stares at you. If a person has a serious interest in someone, he acts, not dreams.
Usually a guy in love looks straight into the eyes and smiles. If a classmate of a girl who asked for advice does not have even a hint of a smile on his face when his gaze is riveted on her, it means that he is simply thinking about something and looking into space, not noticing the looks of other people, and not thinking about the feeling of awkwardness what he provokes in others. This means that at such a moment this boy is in his own world, far from reality. You shouldn't pay attention to this. After all, everyone has their own quirks.
When a guy looks straight into the eyes during a conversation, it means that he is an open person who has nothing to hide. He may be too confident or outgoing, so he doesn't look away. In this case, you also need to understand its features and get used to them, without attaching special importance to them and without inventing for yourself something that is not really there.
It would be worth finding out why a guy looks straight into his eyes only if he really liked the boy. Feeling sympathy for a man, a girl immediately imagines the presence of love on his part, although his gaze does not mean that at all. In this case, the conversation may not be pleasant and even disappointing. But this way the girl is able to find out the reason for the increased or strange attention to her.
As is clear from the message of the girl who asked for advice, her classmate has a friend. This means that we can assume that this guy, out of habit, looks the girl straight in the eyes. He is probably used to close communication with representatives of the fair sex and therefore is not embarrassed when he meets the gaze of one of them. And if he is popular at school, then he probably feels confident, which is why he does not feel awkward when meeting the gaze of another person.
One girl once wrote to me: “I’ve loved a boy since first grade. And he seems to be partial to me. After all, he has a girlfriend, but he looks at me. However, he does not approach and does not start a conversation. Although he has been playing with that girl since 8th grade. What is wrong with me? Why is the guy looking at me?
I had to disappoint this girl, and soon my assumptions were confirmed. The boy with whom she was in love, having started a relationship with a friend, became self-confident and therefore could look at girls for a long time, without realizing that he was thereby creating awkward situations. He himself told the girl about this when she, in a conversation with him, suggested that he loved her.
Upset by this turn of events, she wrote to me: “The conversation arose spontaneously. I couldn’t stand his gaze and blurted out about my love for him and that he loved me. But the boy just laughed and said that a real man always pays attention to women. Now this guy doesn't look at me. And I am ashamed for declaring my love.
After the first intimacy
If several hours have passed after a hot date or sex, and the guy doesn’t call or write, don’t rush things. Let the man come to his senses, analyze what happened, and rest. Most likely, tomorrow morning or afternoon he will write to you himself, ask for a meeting, set up a romantic date.
If a couple of days or a week have passed since sex, you should think about it. A quick intimacy with a man you don’t know well is not always a good option for developing a relationship; the young man could become disappointed in the lady, and then he will disappear forever.
To stop torturing yourself with doubts for a week, it’s better to call. If you can survive his silence without stress, forget about your new acquaintance and build a new relationship.
A man looks away: what to do, how to behave
A flirting glance is a hint of a desire to develop a relationship.
If the man of interest looks away during visual contact, there may be several reasons for this:
- Attracts the girl's attention. The latter begins to be tormented and wonder what is wrong. or active actions using smiles, prolonged visual contact, etc. The main thing is to understand in time whether the option is chosen correctly.
- Busy with work, thinking about important problems. You should let the guy be alone with his thoughts and not try to establish contact, this will only push him away.
- Doesn't know about the existence of sympathy on the part of the girl. It is worth showing courage and using feminine tricks to attract attention.
- The girl is not interesting to him . In this case, it is worth switching your attention to another young man.
Why doesn't he answer calls and messages?
Imagine the situation: you call the guy you like for the first time. You know how exciting it can be - your heart is pounding, your blood is boiling, you are burning with impatience, waiting for him to pick up the phone.
One beep... two... three... the answering machine starts. Leave a message (ideal, light and unobtrusive). You are sure that he will call back in a few minutes. Two hours pass and nothing.
What if you send him a short SMS message? Maybe he didn't listen to the answering machine. Maybe the answering machine is broken! Maybe something with communications throughout the area? And the messages do not reach their recipients. You send him the same light and airy text message. And again silence.
Then you text your best friend to see if the connection is working (admit it, girls—we've all been there). Everything is working. Call your communication provider and say: “Dear operator, something is wrong on my line.” But he assures that everything is fine.
In desperation, you begin to restart your phone over and over again, in the hope that it will finally deliver a message that is not in nature... and then: Ding! The screen lights up! They're calling you! But this is a telephone advertisement. Spam.
What's the matter? What happened to your Ideal Lover? Why did clouds come over his bright image?
It is possible that you seemed too accessible to him. Since ancient times, men have been accustomed to hunting, tracking and lying in wait for prey. Only after going through trials and adventures do they feel the true taste of victory.
If it's too easy to win your favor, your partner won't feel the drive of pursuit and the intense satisfaction of being successful. He needs to win your heart, earn your love. If you present everything to him on a silver platter all at once, he will, at best, take it for granted, and at worst, he will not appreciate your generosity at all.
Let him work a little to get his prize. Do you think I'm suggesting you play cat and mouse with him? Not at all. I don’t advise you to pretend that you are very busy with a thousand things. I believe that you should really be busy and have a busy life.
This is much more attractive than being a girl, always waiting for a man to come and with his arrival her existence will take on meaning. You should have your own eventful life, which you will not rush to bring to the feet of a new boyfriend, sacrificing something important for him.
A woman who is not afraid to be unpredictable always attracts the opposite sex like a magnet. Be mysterious and inaccessible not to torment your admirer, but to show him that you are worth a lot. He must understand that achieving your favor requires effort.
So, love yourself and follow your own dreams, indulge your passions, be yourself! Do not rush to place the young man you like at the center of your universe. Let it be one of the beautiful constellations that delight your eye from time to time. But don’t stop the whole world for him, don’t make him the axis around which the planet revolves.
The only person you have to learn to live with every day for the rest of your days is your own. So first of all, make sure that this woman is happy, and the rest will come naturally.
The guy looks at me when I turn away. How to understand that a man likes you?
1. Look at his torso. Even if his head and legs are facing you and his body is turned towards the door, he is thinking about leaving.
2. Raises eyebrows. The second you make eye contact, pay attention to his eyebrows. He will subconsciously raise them if he is interested in talking to you. This phenomenon is called "brow flash" and happens in a split second, so you need to be very careful to notice it.
3. Dilated pupils. Look carefully at his pupils. If they get bigger when he looks at you, he likes what he sees.
4. The pupils are constricted. Likewise, if his pupils get smaller when he looks at you, he's not as interested. He may even leave you soon.
5. Straightens your hair. If he touches your hair, he likes you. A friend won't brush your stray strand of hair behind your ear.
6. If he meets your gaze from across the room, turns away for a few seconds, and then looks at you again, he is interested in you. This is one of the most basic signals when flirting.
7. Looks at your lips. If his gaze periodically shifts to your lips during a conversation, he is thinking about kissing you.
8. If he constantly licks his lips and runs his fingers over them, this is another sign indicating that he is thinking about a kiss.
9. Corrects her hair. Have you noticed how our hands automatically reach for our hair when we notice someone attractive? Men do this too. If he starts fixing his hair when he sees you, he thinks you're sexy.
10. If he restlessly adjusts his sleeves or watch, he is nervous. This is either because he likes you, or he feels awkward around you, or both.
11. If he sits closer to you so that your legs are touching, although there is still room nearby, he definitely likes you. He wants to be closer so that it will be easier for him to take action.
12. If he hugs you when you meet or say goodbye and lingers a little longer, he likes you.
13. And, if his gaze lingers on you longer than with everyone else, he definitely likes you.
14. If you notice him looking at you, he thinks you look sexy in your outfit. If he bites his lip at the same time, he imagines what you will look like without clothes.
After a quarrel or breakup
After a scandal or quarrel, both lovers disappear from the network, harboring a grudge. To avoid parting in silence, you need to make the right decision:
- The first person to make contact should be the one who considers himself guilty. Only smart, mature people can do this. Admit guilt, apologize. But you will have to listen to a lot of complaints addressed to you if the man has not cooled down and wants to sort things out to the end.
- If the guy is indecisive, the girl will most likely have to write it herself, even if it is not her fault. Write that you are offended and are waiting for an apology. React calmly to being ignored, let the guy cool down and think about the situation.
- There is no need to threaten breakups, write offensive SMS, call names and brag about a bunch of fans who are waiting for you to be free.
- If an offended man responds to SMS in a calm tone, offer a personal meeting. After a breakup, couples rarely remain on normal terms, but it is still worth trying to be friends with your ex. Invite your ex-lover to correspond occasionally and meet in the company of mutual friends. This will be an ideal option for breaking up like an adult.
Important! You shouldn’t write to your ex-boyfriend after breaking up because you are leaving for someone else. He may be very upset about the breakup. Happy messages will only bring pain.
If a man stops writing and calling, inexperienced girls get nervous and don’t know how to behave. First of all, relax. Love, sympathy will not go away, and it doesn’t matter who writes or calls first.
