How to interest a man by correspondence: 9 ways

The idea that only the man should always take the first step towards a relationship is long outdated. By waiting for a guy to take initiative, you can waste a lot of time, and in some cases, miss the chance for a happy relationship. Courageous and courageous men sometimes also have a feeling of timidity. If you really like a young man, don’t expect him to be the first to take some action, take the risk yourself. He is probably embarrassed to admit his feelings to you or has not thought about relationships at all. Then the initiative is yours.

When is it appropriate?

Before hinting to a guy about dating, a girl needs to:

make sure your feelings are reciprocated;
show that she is free;
watch your companion on a walk together or when visiting a cafe.

Dating proposals are different for different guys. Their appearance will also depend on what kind of young people the girls already have.

Who is the guy	Method
An accomplished man	It is necessary to appear more serious and drag out the intrigue longer. This way, the chosen one will better trust the girl and appreciate her.
Just a young man I know	Moving to direct action after a casual conversation.
Friend	Accurate influence with light flirting and coquetry.

Successful circumstances for asking a guy to meet are:

holidays;
spending time together on vacation or on vacation;
the moment of success of the chosen one;
evening, after a walk together;
after assistance provided;
after the young man stands up for his companion.

But it’s worth remembering that under no circumstances should you ask a guy to date if he:

severely overloaded with worries or work, since everything else will be of secondary importance to him;
has recently suffered family grief or has been widowed, he needs to be given about 2-3 months to recover;
just got divorced or broke off relations with a former flame; during the period while the chosen one moves away from this, he can be supported in every possible way, but no more than a girlfriend;
is in a bad mood, otherwise a decision made in such a state risks changing as circumstances improve.

If a guy likes a girl, then he will constantly look for a reason to meet her. Also, a strong representative of humanity will try to reduce the distance between himself and his chosen passion. He will look for her all the time if they find themselves in the same company, and will also start a conversation with her on any topic at every opportunity.

If all this is not observed in the guy’s behavior, then this means that he sees the girl only as a friend and nothing more. And from such a category to move into the category of a favorite passion is not at all possible. Therefore, it is so important for a girl to know in advance, before the start of meetings, how the guy treats her.

Act quickly2

Rejecting an offer to date is usually extremely inconvenient for both parties, and it can be tempting to ignore the situation completely. Do you think if you pretend it didn't happen, the problem will go away on its own? Unfortunately, staying silent and hoping that the guy will eventually "get the hint" is a very cruel and wrong strategy that can backfire.

You need to answer confidently and as quickly as possible. You shouldn't wait for the right moment, because it doesn't really exist. The longer you wait, the more difficult and unpleasant this situation will be for both of you.

It may be difficult for the other person to move on unless he gets a firm, clear “no” from you, so the best thing you can do is give him that opportunity.

Another mistake that girls make in this situation is agreeing to one or two dates, and then just silently disappearing, instead of solving the problem. But by doing so, you will only hurt that person. This is generally the worst way to break up with someone.

If the person is unfamiliar to you or you have not seen each other for a long time, you can use a refusal in the form of a text message. Thus, the blow can be softened by the neutrality of the text, and the person will experience an unpleasant moment alone with himself. There is no reason to come into direct contact with someone you don't know well to refuse.

But friends and colleagues should respond personally. A good friend deserves a face-to-face response. It will also make future inevitable encounters less awkward. Communicating in person will help the other person see your facial expressions, body language, and hear the tone of your voice.

What questions should a girl ask herself first?

Before proposing a relationship to a guy, a girl must answer a number of the following questions:

Does he like her and what does she think about it?
Is she interested in being with him?
Does she have common topics of conversation with him?
Does she often quarrel with him or give reasons for this?
Why exactly does she need this guy?
Does the guy do anything nice or nice for her?
If he does do something for her, is it with serious intentions or not?

In order not to make a mistake when choosing a guy for serious meetings, a girl should collect as much information about him as possible:

from mutual acquaintances and friends;
from social networks;
from the young man’s colleagues or fellow students.

Effective ways to hint to a guy about a relationship

It is necessary to propose a relationship to a girl with your companion when it is established that his intentions have not yet reached their certainty. For example, a guy has not yet matured for them and is in thought. Just at this moment, his companion may hint at starting to date.

If it has already become known that the guy is in love with the girl as much as she is in love with him, then she should:

start taking better care of yourself in order to look more well-groomed and beautiful;
try to make yourself known to him often, to attract his gaze; actions should be confident, but not daring;
as if by chance, finding yourself in the same places as the guy, for example, at parties or at college;
add your companion as a friend on social networks and start actively corresponding with him;
joke often using tactile contact;
make fun of your chosen one;
show feminine weakness;
treat the guy with something after his help;
take more interest in his family, for example, asking about their health;
more often support with advice, but not in an instructive tone, but in a narrative one;
talk with him on topics that interest him;
praise and give him compliments;
talk about his positive qualities all the time;
constantly try to be completely selfless.

Cases when it makes sense to take the bull by the horns

It is believed that taking initiative is the prerogative of a man. However, in the following cases, the proposal coming from the girl will sound organic and is unlikely to be rejected.

The guy makes it clear that he likes you. He regularly invites you to a cafe, to the cinema, to the park and to exhibitions. Calls to see how you are doing. Gives compliments. It seems that he does not have enough confidence in your interest to decide to have a frank conversation.
The man looks at you like you are a goddess. There is a possibility that he does not take active steps because he does not believe that he can somehow attract such a delightful girl like you.
The guy is completely immersed in study, work or hobbies. You suspect that he simply hasn't had the opportunity or time to see how well you two fit together.
A man has experienced a painful breakup and is now afraid of history repeating itself. What keeps him from romantic recognition is the banal fear of being rejected again.

There are at least two weighty arguments in favor of taking the initiative in the above and other cases. Firstly, by reveling in fantasies while waiting for moves from a man, you can waste a lot of time, which, as you know, is the most valuable resource. Secondly, it is very difficult to treat a woman who acts contrary to the canons with indifference.

How to make a guy figure it out on his own?

A guy interested in his interlocutor willingly welcomes initiative on her part and then happily intercepts this activity and begins to act himself. For this reason, a girl must always be close to her companion in order to always be at his fingertips. So the guy will more often try to please her with something, and also show his need and strength.

When meeting with a girl, you should not forget about the fleeting touches of your sweetheart. If a guy reacts positively to such signs of attention, then he needs to be supported in such a decision and become necessary and indispensable for his chosen one, temporarily falling out of his sight.

But at the same time, you should endure it yourself until the moment when he finally guesses and decides to take the “first” step.

The following are also considered effective hints to encourage action:

frequent but unobtrusive presence next to a guy;
an original and insignificant gift that a guy will definitely like;
natural and attractive appearance;
flirting and inaccessibility going hand in hand, so igniting the hunting instinct in men;
innocent coquetry;
seemingly random touches and glances;
clearly distinguishing your companion from all others;
genuine and extensive interest in his person.

To further shift the boy’s attention to herself, the girl will have to:

try not to be too annoying;
give up comfortable shoes and clothes and switch to dresses and heels;
be more friendly and smile more often;
arrange seemingly random meetings;
come up with topics for interesting conversations;
actively correspond on the Internet and communicate more in real life with your chosen one;
constantly radiate goodwill and confidence.

Any girl who dreams of a serious relationship can propose to a guy. But an offer of a relationship coming from a girl should not be too aggressive.

The guy doesn't want to date, what should I do?

You should not set yourself up that the proposal to meet will definitely receive a negative response, but at the same time take it for granted that this can happen. If the young man answers you negatively, avoid an aggressive reaction and especially do not create a drama with screaming, sobbing and wringing of hands.

Listen to his answer with dignity. You can ask about the reason, but if the guy doesn't want to explain himself, don't insist. If you receive a refusal, do not show how upset you are. Smile a little sadly and say that everything is fine, thank you for your attention.
When meeting a guy on the street or in general company, do not show that you are very unpleasant to see him, do not try to talk about a possible relationship again. Forget about that awkward moment and interact with him the same way as before, as if the conversation never happened.
The thought may come to your mind that the young man simply does not see that you would make a great couple. Avoid any methods to prove to him that you are ideally compatible. Instead of the desired result, even the guy’s neutral attitude will be replaced by irritation and hostility. If you don't want him to give you a wide berth, maintain a calm and friendly demeanor.
If after a conversation with a guy you are overwhelmed by negative emotions, restrain yourself from the impulse to complain about the “scoundrel” to everyone, including friends from the same company. Don't make yourself look offended or offended.
Don't get hung up. If he is not interested in communication, do not make him the center of your universe. Look around - you are surrounded by other interesting young people, take a closer look, perhaps someone is trying to gain your sympathy and may seriously interest you.

How to hint a guy for a first kiss - tactfully and unobtrusively

How to speak openly about your intentions?

If you suddenly come across a very slow-witted or timid guy, then the girl will have to openly declare to him her desires to date.

But for such a serious conversation the following must be suitable:

situation;
the character and mood of the companion;
phrases and words.

A guy needs to voice his intentions very carefully and in a private setting. The proposal should not frighten or alarm you. It’s better to start the conversation from afar, unobtrusively. Both standard phrases and poems can become assistants for him.

How not to behave

Having decided to be the first to voice her desire to get married, a woman should think about the possible consequences of the conversation. It is also worth remembering that any wrong step will make a man wary or even afraid. What actions can be considered wrong and what cannot be said? Each couple has their own answers to these questions:

Is the man modest and timid? You can’t even try to propose marriage to him in a public place. The restaurant or cafe is canceled immediately. Seek solitude.
Does a man depend on the opinions of his friends? You should not frighten him with the upcoming separation from his comrades due to the need to constantly be near his wife, saying that after the wedding the spouses are always and everywhere together.
Is he an avid fisherman? You shouldn’t speak badly about his hobby and about all the other fishermen. You cannot ask him to make a decision about marriage while fishing. He gets distracted from his favorite hobby and only gets angry.

You need to think carefully before choosing a place for a serious and unexpected conversation.

Offer on VKontakte, by correspondence, telephone, SMS

Sometimes even girls can be scared to ask guys directly to date. In this case, they can do this through the social network VKontakte. For example, girls often start a personal conversation in private correspondence with a guy about what type of female he likes or about the presence or absence of a relationship with the fair sex at the moment.

In messages to your chosen one, you can also write about your own interests.

On VKontakte, a girl can also ask a guy if he is ready to date someone. If he answers positively, then ask if he is considering a joint relationship with her. More courageous girls are advised to directly inform the guy about their desire to date. This saves time and eliminates the need for workarounds.

Using an SMS message, a girl can write to a guy about her liking for him and that she doesn’t mind starting dating him. If such a proposal turns out to be unacceptable to her, then she can ask for a date somewhere, at which she will then communicate her intentions, but in person.

Telephone communication regarding offers of meetings with a guy is considered more effective than an SMS notification. After all, the message may not be immediately noticed. The telephone conversation should be positive and calm. Right away you need to communicate with the guy neutrally, gradually bringing the matter to the point. The beginning of a relationship can be considered the interlocutor’s agreement to meet or date.

Girls who are inclined to adventure can calmly notify guys about their intentions by throwing them anonymous notes with such content that it would be nice to get to know each other better at a designated place. Such a message can not be classified, but can be made completely open by sending it by e-mail.

You can also make a beautiful proposal to a guy with a hint of a relationship:

in poetic form, but this is done only if there is firm confidence in the romantic nature of the young man;
in a cafe or at a concert;
at a disco or party;
with a romantic message addressed to your sweetheart.

How to ask a guy to date beautifully

In verse.

If you are absolutely convinced that your chosen one is of a romantic nature, then you can propose a relationship to him by composing a poem especially for him. You can use the works of the classics. At the end you can add that this verse contains everything you feel about it. Of course, it would be more appropriate to use this technique in correspondence.

At the concert.

Go with your boyfriend to a concert of a band that he definitely likes. The two of you should be in a great mood and have a lot of positive emotions during this time together. After the concert or towards its end, tell the young man that you had a lot of fun together and you want to have such meetings more often. At the end of the conversation, directly propose a relationship to him.

In the cafe.

Invite the young man to a cozy coffee shop or pub that he likes. Start the conversation with neutral, positive topics, and then ask about his attitude towards you. Having realized that your interlocutor likes you, invite him to meet.

At the party.

If you know that you are going to see the guy you like in a club or group of friends, then prepare in advance for this event. You should look impressive and confident. Invite the young man to a dance, during which you tell him about your desire to start a relationship. If dancing is not implied, then simply seize the moment when you are alone or invite the guy to talk.

Romantic letter.

Compose a romantic letter in which you tell your loved one about your feelings for him. Describe what emotions meeting him evokes in you, admit that you would like to have a relationship. The letter should, if possible, be placed in his jacket pocket or in the laptop case, but so that he does not see it right away. You can also give the envelope during a personal meeting: saying goodbye after school or work, meeting by chance in the hallway, after gatherings in the same company, and so on.

Examples of successful phrases

To let a guy know about their attitude towards him, girls can use the following phrases:

“Let me stay near you for a little while, because I feel very calm next to you, that I don’t even want to leave you.” This expression is appropriate when a guy does something. If he still does not drive the girl away, then she will be able to continue her conversation on the given topic.

A walk together is a great reason to ask a guy to date.
If suddenly a young man asks for something, then you can answer him, for example, “Anything for you.”
To demonstrate the special distinction of a companion from other men, the following expressions are suitable: “I don’t care about the opinions of others, I’d rather consult with you” or “I respect honesty and good manners in a man. It’s a pity that not everyone has the same qualities as you.”

You can invite a guy to date only when you are sure that he is really interested in his companion and is confident in her reciprocity. Therefore, before starting a relationship, it is necessary to interest the chosen one in every possible way, as well as attract his attention. A guy who is confident that he will not be rejected by a girl is more willing to agree to serious meetings.

Phrases suitable for inviting a guy to a meeting or date:

“I haven’t gone anywhere with someone for a long time, and I really want to go to the cinema or a cafe, but there is no company. Maybe we can go together?”;
“I really want to take a walk in the evening. Maybe you can join me for company? Otherwise I’m scared alone”;
“Let me ruin your weekend plans? I really want to go out of town, but I can’t go without you.”

At the end of the date, you can say to the guy:

“Thank you for a great evening, I really enjoyed it. I hope he's not the last. Maybe we can repeat it again?”;
“I’ve wanted to meet you alone for a very long time, I’ve been thinking for a long time about how to quickly accomplish this. Promise that next time you will think about it the same way”;
“It would be nice if we met more often and spent our free time together!”;
“When you get home, call me so I don’t worry. Till tomorrow".

For a direct message to a guy about your intentions, phrases such as:

“I’ve been tormented for a long time by the question: do you have a passion? Am I not suitable for you as your girlfriend?”;
“I admit that I really like you. Are you okay with us starting to date?”;
“You suit me a lot. How about we date?”;
“Such a guy without a partner! Let me be your girlfriend before they beat me to it?”;
“I'm so tired of beating around the bush! Are you going to date me or not?”;
“Can I ask you directly, saving my time and nerves - are we going to meet?”

How to politely tell a guy off via text

From the point of view of deduction, induction and brain production, you are incompetent in this matter, since every pessimistic individual catastrophically modifies the abstractions of real subjectivism.

“I’m ready to fly to the ends of the world for you!” - You don’t have to come back from there!

Dear, go to X, Y and the 11th letter of the alphabet.

My legs will no longer exist. on your shoulders!

Unhook, otherwise I feel like just a ticking fly.

- I want to give myself to you. — Unfortunately, I do not accept cheap gifts.

- How do you do it to look so good? - I do the opposite of what you do.

I think I will go. Because, you know. I want to be away from here.

Sorry, but I now find myself in a situation where I need time to understand myself. We need to take a break, so I won't write to you anymore. Sorry if I offend you with this, but I really need it

I was able to understand myself and my feelings and realized that we could not be together. I can’t build a relationship with you now - I’m not ready for it, and I consider you unready.

Who to recruit as assistants?

A girl who wants to encourage a guy to meet regularly can take as assistants people from her environment who communicate well with him. Such mutual acquaintances will inform the young lady’s chosen one about her desires and intentions, and will also contribute to their rapid rapprochement.

The assistants will provide the girl with information about the character and lifestyle of the guy she has chosen. This information, analyzed subsequently, will increase the chance of receiving a positive response from the prospective life partner to the proposal to date. To get a clearer picture, the girl can also chat with the guy’s friends.

It is necessary for the girl to invite the guy to date if he does not dare to take this step on his part. She must do this delicately and interestingly, using only hints. Questions are asked directly only to very slow-witted and timid guys.

How to avoid rejection?

For a positive response from a guy to proposals for romantic meetings, a girl must be able to present herself correctly, for example:

not be easily accessible;
do not hang yourself on the neck of your chosen one at every opportunity;
maintain mystery, but only in moderation;
represent a person engaged in self-development;
speak beautifully and gently in a gentle voice, avoiding filler words and curse words;
wash your hair frequently and style it attractively;
use discreet makeup;
watch your diet to have an impeccable figure;
prefer stylish accessories and beautiful outfits, especially skirts and dresses.

To avoid being rejected by a guy after trying to start a relationship, you need to follow some rules:

maintain sincerity;
do not make predictions about your relationships;
respect the personal space of the chosen one;
Don’t be too pushy so as not to encounter constant resistance.

If suddenly the object of the girl’s desires has another passion, then it is forbidden to even remember her while spending time together with the guy. It is better to overshadow all attempts to remember her with your own person.

If an admirer begins to give recommendations to a guy about his real girlfriend, then she runs the risk of immediately becoming just a friend for him.

At the beginning of communication, a guy should not be immediately frightened by conversations about the wedding, otherwise the chosen one will think that the girl is interested in getting married quickly. He will also be greatly burdened by long conversations about future relationships with him in marriage. Because of this, a partner can even easily run away from his companion without looking back.

In order not to seem vulgar to a guy, a girl should hold back her attraction to him until the relationship is announced. After all, any man wants to see a well-groomed and exemplary woman next to him as a future life partner.

So it’s better to postpone hints about sex to a girl until there is certainty and stability in the relationship.

To completely win a guy’s heart, a girl must learn to listen to him without interrupting. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity simply cannot stand companions who are inattentive to their statements. Their interlocutors must also be patient and submissive.

Asking a guy to date can be risky, as his decision may not be in favor of the girl. But you shouldn’t be afraid of this, because after finding out everything will become clear whether it’s worth continuing to wait for anything.

How to refuse advances from a married man?

Experts advise in this case to adhere to special rules. They will help you refuse a married man gracefully without offending him.

Don't be rude to your gentleman, don't say that you don't need him at all. Say “no” firmly, but in a friendly way, so as not to offend him or damage a man’s pride. During the conversation, hint that you are not very interested in this courtship and you will not change your decision over time.
Is your admirer an impressive person who likes to be constantly in the center of everyone's attention? Apply its "weak point". Such a young man should be refused rudely. Otherwise it will be a real tragedy for him. Shower your fan with compliments. Tell the man what a successful, interesting person he is. Give compliments among other people so that many can hear. As a rule, such men like to assert themselves, therefore, they test their own strength by “bewitching” the next lady.

Refuse a married man

If on your way you meet an energetic and assertive married man for whom winning in sex is important, then act completely opposite. Talk to him briefly. Refuse directly, don’t even explain the reasons. Don't worry if the man gets offended. He may not react to your refusal at all and will not be offended.
If you are bothered by a persistent “married man” who threatens you, then we advise you to start taking action. Threaten the man that you have a person who can give you protection. Tell him this decisively, don’t worry or be afraid. Because only feigned persistence can come from a man, helping him to manipulate you. But it is advisable for you to play it safe in advance. Talk to your friends, ask for help. If a fan knows your residential address, do not return home very late. Let one of your colleagues from work show you around.

How not to lose face if a guy refuses?

When a guy refuses a relationship, a girl should respond:

with complete calm and a sad smile;
without excessive dramatization and aggression;
with gratitude for your attention and frankness.

After this, the girl also needs:

be ready to continue communicating with the guy, but as a girlfriend, especially if there is an assumption that the chosen one will come to his senses and still decide on further meetings;
try to switch your attention to finding a new candidate for a serious relationship as quickly as possible;
avoid discussing the guy with your friends;
by all means refrain from running after a whimsical chosen one;
quickly distract yourself from unhappy love by intensely engaging in sports or creativity;
maintain a friendly and calm attitude towards the guy who refused her, without trying to convince him.

A modern girl needs to try in every possible way to get closer to a guy who is interested in her. By any available and acceptable means, she should encourage him to more regular meetings. Otherwise, you can very easily lose your chosen companion without offering him the opportunity to have a relationship with you in time.

How to refuse a man, a guy, to tie him down, and he wanted to get married?

There is no universal way to refuse so that any man wants to get married. “Encouraging” behavior works for many guys.

How to behave to get married faster:

Cover the road with compliments. “I like you, but I don’t.” Every refusal must be accompanied by pleasant words.
Play on pity. Come up with a life story. Let her stop you from being together. It may involve a tragic past, a difficult present, or a bleak future.
Be sure to smile. You need to speak kindly, look up, and radiate natural goodwill.
Look attractive and behave in a prepossessing manner. You cannot take up too much space so as not to suppress the initiative of the chosen one.
Give hope. It's timid to assume that if a man does certain things, changes, or achieves great things, you might consider him as a spouse or boyfriend. Choose an obstacle that is easy to overcome. Knowing a man's character will help. It’s easier for one to change their behavior or way of thinking, for another it’s easier to start earning more.

Be sure to read:

What does it mean if a guy looks into your eyes and doesn’t look away, psychology

A refusal that is too direct may leave you with no options. It is important to keep the messages ambiguous.