Often, after a quarrel with a loved one, many women think that if a man is not afraid of losing them (or simply does not express this in any way, although deep down he is very afraid), this means that he does not love them, does not appreciate them, does not feel for them no feelings at all.
Such women most often make mistakes. If it is not scary for him to lose his beloved, it means that he simply has not yet realized how dear she is to him.
Unfortunately, very often it is at this stage that novels end. She leaves, tired of trying to attract his attention, and he realizes his feelings for her, as they say, after the fact. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing without breaking off relations with him? The “by contradiction” method will help answer this question more accurately.
How not to behave
For a man to be afraid of losing you, you need to adhere to the right line of behavior. First, let's look at what you should never do, because the result will be completely opposite:
- Tell him directly that you are going to do something in this direction. On your part, this will be a banal provocation that will only lead to quarrels and insults
- Openly flirt with other men. This may make him angry and he will simply lose interest in you.
- Follow your emotions and call him every five minutes if he is busy at work or goes out with friends. He will think that you have no other interests besides him, which means he has nothing to fear, i.e. he can behave the way he wants.
It is very important to know one truth: a man is afraid of losing a woman if he even once had to think about the possibility of such an incident.
How to behave correctly with a man so that he is afraid of losing you: golden rules
In former times, divorces were rare.
Women tend to be attracted to those who strive for new heights
The reason was not the desire to save the marriage, but tradition. The number of divorces today shows how easy it is to ruin a relationship. This is caused by a simple misunderstanding of the partner’s psychology. The psychologist's advice will tell you how to behave with your husband so that he is afraid of losing you.
A man has a dynamic mindset, he needs development, striving for goals, competition, and pursuit. The absence of this provokes degradation. A woman, on the contrary, is static, creates comfort, arranges space, and establishes contacts with others. You cannot demand from your partner what is not inherent in nature.
To understand how to behave correctly with a man, reconsider the question.
They lose what they have already received. His wife is nearby, but interest in her is gradually decreasing. A man is afraid of losing if he could not truly achieve; a woman remains an unsolved mystery for him, a mysterious multifaceted personality. If she is one step ahead, the man will really become afraid of losing her.
Important! There is no need to strive to create in a marriage a feeling of fear of losing the family. Healthy relationships are not built on fear.
There is no need to put restrictions
It is important for men to feel in charge and responsible. At any age, they strive for independence and manifestation of masculinity. If the opportunity is taken away, the stronger sex acts in two ways. Submits, degrades or rebels.
Be sure to read:
How to make a husband respect his wife: 7 rules for teaching him to value himself
Even reasonable prohibitions repel and provoke people to do the opposite. Remember your boy classmates: how difficult it was for them to maintain school discipline. If the teacher did not motivate, but forbade, the boys were the first to not complete the assignments and fool around. The same thing happens to a man in adulthood.
He follows the rules if he feels the need to. This is the only way to maintain masculinity.
Example: My husband has had surgery and cannot drink alcohol. If his wife informs him in the form of a ban, he will soon want to drink. The desire to be independent is higher than health. Therefore, it is better to present information in the form of advice. A thought presented in this way will make the spouse think.
“No” to overprotection and control
At the beginning of a relationship, it is easy for partners to maintain regular sexual contact.
The man said goodbye to these “friends” in adolescence, when he fought with his parents for freedom. If a young man can legally marry, then he does not need to be monitored every day.
How to behave:
- Instead of controlling, be interested in his affairs.
- Replace hyperprotection with care.
- Show confidence in him.
- Give freedom of action.
- Eliminate directive communication.
- Say no to jealousy.
Don't become a second mother to your husband. These self-sacrifices will be assessed as an attempt to dominate, a lack of faith in his strength.
Regular and high-quality sex
At the beginning of a relationship, it is easy for partners to maintain regular sexual intercourse. Over time, this turns into a habit, and the desire gradually fades away. Contributes to monotony of behavior, attempts to manipulate sex, refusals.
What to do:
- Take care of sex education. Look for new ways to have fun.
- Develop sensuality, concentrate on sensations. This will help you experience intimacy more deeply.
- Show real feelings. The guy feels constrained and tries to act in a stereotyped manner.
- Don't ask for gifts for sex. The man will agree, but you will fall in his eyes.
- Punishment with refusal is a sure way to destroy attraction.
- “No” must be justified.
- Listen to your partner’s wishes, express them yourself.
With a man, many take an unhealthy position, considering sex as some kind of reward. Experiment, learn to just have fun. This is an essential element of a healthy relationship.
Show yourself weak
The role of a man is to care and protect. It protects your beloved from the outside world and provides comfort. This situation gives satisfaction, the guy feels needed.
Women tend to violate the natural order of things and voluntarily take on men's tasks. Your spouse will not appreciate your strength and determination. Remember your natural role, enjoy femininity.
Be sure to read:
What to do if a husband beats his wife: where to turn, what threatens him, psychology and reasons for the aggressor’s behavior
Hide the saw
You feel calm at home. If you have setbacks at work or with finances, you can return home and recuperate. This is what men expect when they decide to start a family. And these are the most reasonable ideas about marriage.
Instead, they often encounter a “saw”. It confidently frays the nerves of both and leads to separation.
How a saw woman behaves:
- always dissatisfied;
- categorically demands;
- repeats claims;
- talks about her husband's failures;
- doesn't thank you.
This behavior destroys strong feelings and charm, makes the character ponderous and quarrelsome.
With a man, many take an unhealthy position, considering sex as some kind of reward.
Mentally give your husband three certificates of trust:
- The right to make a mistake.
- The right to make the final decision.
- Freedom of action.
Stay beautiful!
When meeting a girl, a guy sees her well-groomed, in elegant clothes, with makeup and hairstyle. He thinks that his beloved wakes up in the morning fresh and blooming.
Useful habits will help you maintain this opinion:
- Wear clean, nice home clothes.
- Wear light daytime makeup.
- Hair should always be clean.
- Keep an eye on your manicure.
- Use perfume even at home.
The rules can be followed even with small children. This does not require financial costs, but will help your husband like you.
Remember that there are things that a spouse should never see:
- Depilation process, eyebrow correction.
- Feminine hygiene products.
- Hair in the shower drain.
Emphasize beauty.
Don't let it become a read book.
Do not deny yourself new underwear, jewelry, and cosmetics. Men are happy to give gifts. This helps them feel strong and masculine.
He fell in love with you because you seemed like a fairy, gentle and weightless. Let life together not dispel these ideas.
Develop in yourself what makes him dependent on you
It was possible to limit oneself to family affairs and children several centuries ago. Now living like this is just boring. Maternity leave provokes depression and makes a woman nervous and irritable. To prevent this from happening, develop yourself. Guys admire girls who are endowed with talents and do what they love.
Don't let it become a read book. The subtle facets of personality can surprise you for many years, if you don’t try to give yourself all over already at the first stages of family life.
Is there something he especially likes? Perhaps he's excited about the flexibility? Do yoga or stretching. Don't say that you are doing this for his sake. Enjoy your own development.
Be sure to read:
5 types of men who don’t want to work: how to influence everyone?
How to plant such thoughts in his head?
- He is not the only thing in your life. Let him understand this. For example, if he warned in advance that he would go out with friends, do not call him, constantly asking where he is and with whom. If it becomes completely unbearable, send an SMS with kind words or a funny emoticon. This will raise doubts in his soul, why you didn’t call him yourself, what are you doing so interesting without him. If he asks about this, answer with an innocent look that you watched a film that has interested you for a long time, but which your boyfriend still hasn’t found the time to watch together.
- Make it clear that other men are paying attention to you. This needs to be done very unobtrusively, carefully and casually. If a man is afraid of losing a woman, even if he doesn’t express it in any way, such a “revelation” will be more than enough for him. Tell us, for example, how a stranger gave you a seat on the bus and tried to start a conversation, or about an impudent guy who wants to meet you in line at the clinic. Representatives of the stronger sex are hunters by nature, and a man is afraid of losing a woman if he sees potential rivals.
- Hint to him that you may soon be facing a long separation. Of course, this must be done extremely carefully. You can, for example, be interested in exchange programs with other countries. You don’t even have to take part in competitions to go abroad. It’s enough just to think out loud how interesting and informative it would be. When is a man afraid of losing a woman? Then, when there is a risk that he will not see her for a long time.
How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing? You just need to follow a few simple rules. They will be discussed further.
“Blackmail by leaving”: a very bad way to make a husband afraid of losing his wife
Any person can be manipulated. A whole science in psychology studies ways to persuade others to agree with your opinion. Although it's fun, should it be used in a family?
A man is repulsed by a woman’s scream, harsh categorical statements, rude words
Women who lack wisdom tend to show their husbands that he may lose her, hoping to renew his interest. The manipulation truly demonstrates a woman's desire to leave. In addition, her husband will consider her unreliable, eccentric, and will expect a trick.
Develop in yourself what makes him dependent on you
Any relationship is built on interdependence. And that's okay. It is likely that he cannot imagine his life without the comfort that you create in the house, without your tenderness and even a smile, and, ultimately, without the food prepared by you. You, in turn, also feel a certain dependence - on his money, position in society and interesting conversations with him... In general, situations are different. Determine what it is about you that is especially dear to him, and focus on it, develop it in yourself in every possible way. Does he sleep long on Sundays and like to treat himself to junk food? Allow him to do this... occasionally. Let him sleep, and you quietly get up and prepare him his favorite dish. He will be very pleased. Or run to McDonald's and buy him a big bag of fast food. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing you? Sometimes indulge his whims, but you shouldn’t always do this, otherwise he will get used to it and stop perceiving such little things as joy.
Throw off the shackles and loosen the leash
It doesn’t matter how long you and your partner are together, but he definitely needs one thing - freedom! Don't give him constant attention. Let him have his own space and create it for yourself. When a person understands that all your thoughts are only about him and nothing else interests you, he will stop being afraid of losing you, because he will understand that this is impossible.
Make a rule to spend at least once a week or month the way each of you wants. Let your chosen one finally meet with old friends, sit with them over a glass of beer, discuss the latest automobile innovations or play billiards. Perhaps he will want to retire and go fishing. In a word, loosen your leash, allow your man to breathe more deeply and tug him less often over trifles on simple weekdays.
At the same time, do not be jealous, do not arrange an inspection check of his phone or email at the first suspicion of interest in other women. If he wants to cheat on you, he will do it without you finding out.
Try to turn this situation to your advantage, and subtly make it clear that he is not the only thing in your life. For example, if he warned in advance that he would go out with friends, do not call him, constantly asking where he is and with whom. If it becomes completely unbearable, send an SMS with kind words or a funny emoticon. This will raise doubts in his soul, why you didn’t call him yourself, and what so interesting things you are doing without him. If he asks about this, answer with an innocent look that you watched a film that has interested you for a long time, but, unfortunately, your man still hasn’t found the time to watch it together.
Be independent for him!
How to make a man afraid of losing? Always be at some distance from him. Know how to provide for yourself, don’t be jealous, don’t arrange an inspection of his phone or email at the first suspicion of interest in other women. If he wants to cheat on you, he will do it without you finding out. Find your favorite activity, develop yourself in every possible way, otherwise he will stop appreciating you and lose all interest. What kind of woman is a man afraid of losing? Smart, independent, unobtrusive, who can easily support any conversation. In general, someone with whom he will be pleased to appear in society, whom he is not ashamed to introduce to friends or parents. The main thing is not to forget about him during all these activities, take an interest in his affairs, love him and respect him.
How to change everything?
If you are tired of being afraid, then it’s time to change something. The best scenario would be this:
- You formulate what kind of fear is overtaking you (for example, one of those that I listed in the first section)
- Find the cause of fear.
- Discuss the situation with your husband. Take him as an ally.
- Your husband is working on not provoking your fear.
- You work on yourself, trying to catch the moment when fear comes.
- If you don’t let fear grow, you defeat it.
A man should always feel like a winner
Since ancient times, men have fought or at least simply competed with each other. They fought for better land, better food, better women. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing? You just need to let him fight for you and... be the winner. Be a goal, a dream for a man... Together with him, rejoice in his victories and do not take into account his defeats. He will definitely appreciate it and will be afraid of losing it.
Be a friend to him
Not only women need to be listened to, men need it no less. Be interested in his affairs, ask about work, friends, hobbies, plans, successes. But don't overdo it. This shouldn't look like an interrogation. If he doesn’t want to talk about something, don’t intrude, put off questions until next time. Peace of mind is the most important thing! Always be calm. Even if a conflict arose and the man made a mistake in something, calmly explain to him exactly what he was wrong about.
Some, of course, like Italian passions and scandals that entertain the whole street. But this is rather an exception to the rule. The majority of representatives of the stronger sex still want meetings with the woman they love not to be a burden for them.
Since ancient times, men have fought or at least simply competed with each other. Despite the fact that we live in a civilized world, the psychology of the male world has changed little. Therefore, after a busy day at work, a man needs a quiet haven where he can rest, “lick his wounds,” and relax.
Be his friend, rejoice with him in his victories, do not take his defeats into account. He will definitely appreciate it and will be afraid of losing it.
Little tricks
How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing his love? Sometimes cancel your meetings citing important matters. The main thing is not to overdo it and maintain such a period of time that he gets bored, but does not think that you have found someone else or are simply avoiding meeting. Of course, it’s hard not to see your loved one for several days, but you want results, don’t you? To make it not so hard, take care of yourself - visit a cosmetologist, go out with friends, go shopping. There is another option for behavior - always be different. All women are actresses to one degree or another, so change your looks every day. Today you are Turgenev’s girl, a poet’s dream, tomorrow you are a sexy kitty who will drive any man crazy, the day after tomorrow you are a smart intellectual or a cheerful girl who is “your guy.” He will not know how he will see you next time, and this will add novelty to your relationship and even some piquancy.
How to keep your loved one - men's version
Why did I emphasize that it is the male version? Yes, because women and I have different views on some problems. Well, we certainly wouldn’t recommend surrounding us with even more care in order to feel which girl is irreplaceable.
Based on our own experience, as well as on the thoughts of smart people, we were able to formulate several simple rules for girls on how to behave so that a man would appreciate them and value her.
Stick to it
The girl found herself in a whirlpool of feelings. She constantly wants to be close. Sometimes feelings are so overwhelming that there is a desire to squeeze the man you love. But I would advise you to hold back. Cuddle your pet, and just kiss a guy as you pass by. It will be casual and very pleasant.
I will dedicate the following advice to girls who call and write messages to their boyfriends every five minutes. I can see the guy's reaction. The first call - he answered nicely and friendly, the second - the conversation was quite restrained, this was observed over the course of several more calls. Depending on the guy’s patience, on the 5th-7th call he will simply not pick up or turn off the phone. And then scandal and resentment. Well, why is this necessary? It is enough to call once or twice during the day. It would be enough. A guy should miss his beloved, and not consider her an annoying infection.
The moral of the above is to use moderation in everything. This is important in a relationship. Your loved one should feel your love and care, but at the same time feel free.
Love and appreciate yourself
Girls, I am writing on behalf of all men: do not make us the meaning of your whole life. Love yourself and we will love you. A man is not interested in a housewife who has perfectly studied one topic - cooking borscht. He wants to see in his life partner an interesting interlocutor, friend and assistant.
To become a friend and partner to her man, a girl needs a constant desire for self-improvement. Remember, when a guy is not interested in communicating with you, sooner or later he will pay attention to a more worthy person.
And a new hobby or activity will allow you to take up your free time and have less time left for stupid thoughts about your man. Your beautiful head will not even be visited by the thought of where he is now and what he is doing.
2 in 1 - friends and lovers
Good and high-quality sex is, of course, wonderful and good for your health and figure. But, in addition to a wonderful partner in bed, in everyday life a man also wants to see a friend in a girl.
We also tend to sometimes complain about life, about the boss, the tyrant, and so on. And we want to just be listened to and, sometimes, helped with advice. In no way do I encourage girls to put on a T-shirt and sweatpants and drink beer with us in the evenings and discuss our boss. But sometimes guys need a friendly shoulder and a kind word.
If a girl can combine a lover and a friend in herself, then such a guy will never leave her and will value the relationship.
He is not the only man in your circle
We have already touched on this topic a little higher. Give him the opportunity to understand that you are only his woman... at least for now. Never force yourself on him. Just casually mention that you are meeting a classmate in a cafe today (of course... you haven’t seen each other for so long, you have something to talk about!) or that you will be late at work because a colleague promised to help you finish a complex report. Don’t doubt it - he will immediately want to meet his classmate or come running to meet you from work. The ideal option would be to be together in a company where there are several men who like you. Show everyone little signs of attention - smile at someone else, joke with someone else. But not more!
There is no need to openly flirt. Behave in such a way that they enjoy communicating with you, but not in such a way that they can make far-reaching plans. You want men to compete with each other for your attention, and not see you as a cheap doll. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing you? Show that you are also interesting to other guys, but for now the only one for you is only him.
What kind of women attract men?
Let’s immediately clarify that we will not start talking about how, for the sake of a man, you need to change and become, for example, thin, long-haired, ideally preparing meat in thirty ways, etc. No! We proceed from the fact that you are you, and no man in the world is worth breaking and torturing yourself for.
They love, appreciate and are afraid of losing a variety of women, including: short, plump, thin, bobbed, tattooed, who hate cooking, childless and mothers of three children from previous marriages, careerists and housewives, intellectuals and “simples”. The thing is that, strictly speaking, there is no magic way to “glue” any man to any woman.
It is possible to understand only in general terms what can make a man appreciate and fear losing a woman. Everything else is too deeply hidden and even the person himself may not be aware of it. Each person has his own preferences, tastes and secret desires.
For a man to be afraid of losing you, it must be based on a relationship where the man has already chosen you for something that is unique to you. This means that you have already “hooked” him with something. And these “clues” are precisely those features of yours that, from the point of view of other, strangers, not your men, will be considered shortcomings!
If you are sure that the time has come to behave in such a way that a man is afraid of losing you, try not to overuse attempts to create this feeling of fear in him. Otherwise, your man may soon turn into a nervous and irritated person, suffering from jealousy and fear of losing someone who is dear to him, that is, you. Everything is good in moderation.
It should also be noted that we are talking about men who fit into certain parameters. That is, not about chronic womanizers, hyper-egoists, various kinds of manipulators and “domestic tyrants,” and even more so, alcoholics and drug addicts. The fact is that if such a character becomes so attached to a woman that he is afraid of being left without her, then for the woman herself this often turns into a tragedy. After all, a mentally unstable person will try to keep a woman near him, using the most savage and disgusting methods. Usually this is total control, impossible demands, abuse and other very unpleasant and unhealthy actions and actions.
If there is a man next to you for whom you have strong feelings, with whom you intend to live your whole life and whom you are afraid of losing, then you need to apply some generalizing, sometimes elusive and difficult to describe details of the relationship. First of all, you need to take a closer look and study your chosen one and your relationship. This is the only way to find out what he values, loves and values. And if you give him this, the man will have no choice but to take care of you like the apple of his eye.
How to make the right decision
Living in such an environment often becomes unbearable, and the woman thinks about how to change the situation. There are two ways out - either leave such a man, or try to regain his respect for yourself. Each option has its pros and cons, the main thing is to understand which is more.
In the case when a woman tries her best to save her family, endures her husband’s attacks, takes every action to bring love back into the relationship, but all in vain, it makes sense to think about divorce.
Marriage is not a game of one goal, it is a home that two people build. This especially applies to violent men with addictions and mental illnesses. But sometimes even an adequate man can become offended or change his life attitudes so much that it becomes impossible to return love.
But, fortunately, most men also want to build trusting and close relationships. Anything can happen in life: resentment, fatigue, problems. But even a frozen heart can be thawed again if you choose the right behavior. Let's talk about this now.
