System-vector psychology. Closed man: how to get a silent man to talk? Material on the topic: how to get a silent person to talk


It’s a paradox, but often posture and facial expressions say more about a person than words, and gestures make speech bright and expressive. According to psychologists, the ability to read and use the interlocutor’s gestures will not hurt for successful communication. Therefore, mastering sign language will help anyone both at home and at work.

Sign language is necessary for every person to fully communicate

What is sign language

In psychology, sign language (gesture) is a system of movements of the body and hands, which helps to better transmit information, understand others, and is the main way of communication for people with hearing loss. Sign language is now popular among psychologists as an effective means of reading nonverbal signals.

For your information. Sign language (SSL), a naturally occurring and independently functioning sign language, is a combination of gestures, facial expressions, and postures.

Features of oral speech of the deaf and hard of hearing

People with hearing loss experience voice changes. It can be too high (up to falsetto) or low, nasal, muffled, weakly changing in pitch, strength, and timbre. Moreover, a pattern is observed: the more the hearing is impaired, the more, as a rule, the voice is impaired. Individual sounds may be pronounced incorrectly - most often, the consonants S, Z, Sh, Zh, Shch, Ch and Ts, because they are more difficult to perceive with impaired hearing. Because of all these disorders, deaf people tend to be embarrassed to speak out loud when they see negative reactions to their speech.

Also, people with early or congenital deafness encounter errors in the use of words, the usual word order in a sentence is disrupted (for example, “the plant is difficult, weak, there is little money, no” can be interpreted as “I’m very tired after work, for which, moreover, they pay almost nothing").

The history of the appearance of deaf-mute language

Although sign language has existed for many centuries, it began to be systematized in the 18th century, during the period of industrialization of European cities. Groups of deaf people were concentrated there and needed to be trained. The first person to come up with the idea of ​​teaching deaf and mute children using gestures was the Italian doctor J. Cardano. The basis of education was the languages ​​of the deaf and mute, which have national characteristics. They were the basis for creating a gestural interpretation.

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Today, sign language is rapidly developing and transforming into a full-fledged communication system. It is used to teach people with hearing loss in schools and universities. An artificial international sign has been created - a sign, which is used at international events.

For your information. Unlike Europe, where the language developed in a civilized manner, in the countries of Africa and North America it was actively used by the entire population, for example, during hunting or war.


In African and North American countries, sign language is often preferred

Difference between sign language and auditory language

Experts clearly distinguish between sign and sound languages. It is believed that the sound one is too cumbersome: each letter is indicated by its own sound, that is, a phoneme, only then a word is formed. Unlike auditory language, gestures represent both letters and whole words, which is more convenient for presenting information. Therefore, sign language is considered more effective.

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In real life, every person uses a non-verbal method of communication every day, and he, as a person, is characterized by his gaze, manner of speaking, and gesturing. It turns out that the deaf do not have access to the speech method of communication, but ordinary people easily use the language of the deaf.

For your information. A FL is actually a foreign language, which, if necessary, must be studied in accordance with all the requirements of a foreign language.

Understanding the Deaf World

Many people mistakenly believe that deaf people are very limited in acquiring knowledge. But in fact, sign languages ​​are not primitive, but very rich. With their help you can express thoughts of any complexity. Therefore, people who communicate in sign language can master all branches of knowledge and receive higher education without any problems. Observing how the deaf and mute communicate, we see that the lack of hearing does not prevent them from making friends, starting a family, raising children, in a word, leading a normal life.

How do deaf and mute people communicate?
Universal human values ​​are inherent in them to the same extent as in other people. They are deeply affected when they are considered defective or disabled.

How to communicate with deaf and mute people? For a full exchange of thoughts, you need to learn their native language - sign - or at least the dactyl alphabet. There is no other way to understand their thinking.

Where is sign language used?

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It is a mistake to think that only deaf and dumb people use nonverbal language. Any person intuitively uses gestures to expressively color their speech. Sign language is necessary in many areas of activity: on television, a sign language interpreter conveys information for the hearing impaired; divers and astronauts, due to the inability to speak in water or air, use special signs. In the theater field, politics, medicine, the army - professional gestures are needed everywhere.

Taciturn (uncommunicative) type of clients

This “case” is one of the typical ones - it is not a particularity, but a standard situation. These clients do not respond to attempts to establish contact or do so extremely reluctantly.

Basic principles of manager/seller behavior in this case:

  • Using questions - open and closed
  • Using pauses is a good way to encourage the other person to respond.
  • Be friendly
  • High-quality presentation with a detailed list of advantages and benefits
  • Adjusting the pace of speech to the pace of the client’s thinking - if the client needs time to comprehend, we do not “overwhelm” him with the speech flow

Differences in deaf language

Sign languages ​​may vary geographically and nationally. Research has shown that countries with a common sound language have different sign languages, and, conversely, places with a large number of dialects use a single sign language. A striking example of an American language that has more similarities with French and nothing in common with British, although it is common to the population of these countries is English.

In Europe, the situation is similar: the single German language in Germany and Austria does not affect the Austrian and Germanic languages, which are not even similar.

According to experts, the main difficulty lies in the lack of a unified system in the language of the deaf and mute, which is why it differs so much in different regions, which makes it difficult to learn.

How to build a conversation and conduct a dialogue correctly: plan

Planning is the main component of success in any business. If you build a rough algorithm before you say anything, this can work to your advantage.

The scheme is something like this:

  • To begin, establish visual contact with your partner,
  • Take the initiative
  • Compliment the young lady
  • Ask leading questions to understand the lady's interests,
  • Don't focus on yourself,
  • Change topics often
  • Try to joke more
  • It is advisable to make tactile contact: take her hand, hug her, or, as a last resort, touch her leg with your foot; this will also help.

To plan a conversation, you need to have at least minimal information about the interlocutor. For example, you know that the lady was born in Yekaterinburg, in which case it would not hurt to read interesting facts about this city. The conversation can be structured according to the following scheme:

You: What city are you from?

Girl: I was born in Yekaterinburg.

You: Great! I dream of visiting there. They say it is very beautiful, the tallest building in Russia, outside of Moscow, is located there.

Girl: Yes, that's right. In our city there really is a skyscraper “Vysotsky”.

This can be applied to everything you know about her. Find out interesting facts about her profession or hobbies and be sure to use this in the dialogue.

If you feel that the young lady has a good sense of humor, then the same conversation may look like this:

You: What city are you from?

Girl: I was born in Yekaterinburg.

You're about! I heard that he got into the Guinness Book of Records for the amount of mayonnaise consumed per person. It turns out that mayonnaise lovers live there, but your slimness makes me doubt it.

Girl: Thank you! I'm glad that you like my figure).

It would also be a good idea to have a few interesting topics in your arsenal, for example:

  • Hobbies (hers, yours),
  • Trips,
  • Entertainment,
  • Gastronomic preferences,
  • Future plans,
  • Human relationships.

These are general topics that are quite easy to talk about even with strangers.

How to quickly learn sign language in Russian


Russian Sign Language (RSL) has its own vocabulary and grammar

With Russian Sign Language (RSL), a different problem arises. To study it, you need to know the features of the linguistic system, which differs from other linguistic languages ​​lexically and grammatically. The main thing is that the grammar of Russian spoken language is different from colloquial Russian due to the complex morphological transformation of words.

In addition, most RSL gestures are taken from German, Austrian, and French sign languages, so its vocabulary is close to international.

Despite such subtleties, there are many Russian words in RSL. The initial letters of these words are shown using the finger alphabet (fingerprinting), for example, days of the week.

For your information. It is important for students of RSL to know that there are 33 letters in the Russian dactylic alphabet. They correspond to the letters of the Russian alphabet and are reproduced using fingers and hand movements.

A closed man how to get a silent person to talk.

Why is a man closed?

Where do secretive men come from?

How to understand a closed man.

Is it possible to change a man and make him open from being closed so that he can express his emotions more outward?

How to be happy with a very secretive man.

Why is the man closed?

In order to understand how to stir up your man, you need to uncover the reason for his closedness.

We all, due to our egoistic nature, most often judge another person solely through ourselves.

Allegedly, he is what he is, because further on the reason is given, which is close to the girl herself.

So, there really are hidden men.

Structure of teaching the language of the deaf and mute

Now you can learn any foreign language, including the language of the deaf and dumb. The main thing is to have the desire and desire to learn. Experts advise starting to learn sign language with a selection of video materials and memorizing signs on specially designed websites.

It is advisable to join groups that are created to learn sign language. They are now easy to find on social networks and practice practical skills there. However, this method is effective when the basics of the language have been studied. To quickly master the language of the deaf and mute, you can use the self-instruction manual.

Eyes instead of ears

The human desire to communicate is very strong and can overcome any obstacle. In deaf people, the function of language learning is usually taken over by vision. Life brought such people together, and they themselves developed a special way of communication, known as sign (kinetic) language. Over time, it acquired new vocabulary and became an entire linguistic system. Of course, many of us have at least once seen how deaf and dumb people communicate.

Previously, deaf people in many schools were prohibited from using gestures, while they were forced to read lips and express their thoughts in writing. But those of them who first mastered kinetic speech coped with their studies more easily and learned to read and write faster.

What language do deaf and mute people think in?

What language do deaf and mute people think in? In his native language - sign language. Hearing people formulate their thoughts in their heads in the same language in which they communicate. The same is true for the deaf.

Many people mistakenly think that deaf people cannot speak. But as a rule, their sound apparatus is not damaged, it is simply not developed.

How to learn sign language yourself from scratch

There is no single theoretical and methodological basis for learning sign language and mastering it on your own. Printed dictionaries and online dictionaries have been developed for those interested: the teacher of the deaf demonstrates a gesture in accordance with the word and gives clear articulation.

Important! When studying gestures, the following feature is taken into account: dactylology is needed for proper names (cities, people) or for words that do not have a gesture.

Where to start self-study


You can learn sign language on your own, but it is better to practice speaking skills in the process of communication

Study plan:

  1. The main thing is to study the dactylic alphabet - 33 gestures corresponding to a specific letter of the alphabet. In reality, the alphabet is rarely used, but knowledge of it is useful when learning new words for which there are no special gestures, for proper names when letter gestures are used.
  2. Once the theory has been mastered, the alphabet has been learned, and a basic vocabulary has been acquired, it is necessary to communicate with native speakers to practice speaking skills. This can be done on thematic forums, specialized sites where the audience is hard of hearing and deaf people.

Important! It is impossible to master the language of the deaf without practice. Language skills are acquired only through direct communication. Then it is possible to understand sign language and be able to communicate in it.

Introduction to dactylology

When getting acquainted with sign language, you need to understand that it is not universal for different countries. Each region has its own alphabet and vocabulary that do not coincide with others. This is the whole difficulty, since often in non-verbal communication a gesture does not mean a letter, but a word or even a whole phrase. Therefore, knowledge of dactylology is necessary - a unique form of speech that includes the dactyl alphabet. In it, each letter has its own sign (dactylem), made of fingers.

It is difficult for beginners to distinguish between sign language and the dactyl alphabet, while dactylems spell out words, and gestures spell out whole words.

Finger placement technique

Dactylology is a manual alphabet, many gestures in it begin with a letter, for example, a teapot - the letter h. You need to study the dactyl alphabet step by step, slowly, it is important to practice the technique of placing your fingers well. At first your hand will get tired, but with constant training your fingers will become more flexible. For beginners, wooden gestures are observed at first. Flexibility is gained through exercises to stretch the ligaments and develop the hands.


To master dactylology, it is important to understand that this is a manual alphabet, the main thing for it is the placement of the fingers

The principle of clarity in SL is the following explanation:

  • fingers not involved in the configuration remain straight;
  • in the configuration, each finger acts independently;
  • There are no intermediate configurations between dactylems;
  • fuzzy, blurry configurations are defects.

Sequence of study

Each country has its own dactylology; there is no single deaf-mute language. Therefore, when studying on your own, you should adhere to certain rules:

  • When mastering dactyl, you need to remember the basic words, names, titles.
  • It is advisable to immediately master counting and simple numbers. This will help consolidate the language.
  • Then they study the language itself - about 2000 different symbols.
  • Learning gestures begins with simple words: thank you, please, hello.
  • You need to learn words gradually, learning several gestures in one lesson.

Language is an informative method of communication that is perceived better than verbal communication. By learning to control nonverbal signals, you can interact more effectively with your interlocutors.

Tips and basics for proper communication with girls

Speaking about general tips on how to structure a conversation with a lady, the following should be noted:

  • Lies. Never cheat on a girl. Remember, sooner or later the lie will come to light and you will, at a minimum, make a fool of yourself, and at maximum, you will forever lose the trust of your beloved. After all, it is very easy to find out the truth, you yourself can forget about what you once said, give yourself away, or your friends and acquaintances can let it slip, and a very insightful girl will understand everything herself by your facial expressions, gestures, voice. So, always follow this rule and you will not have problems in the future.
  • Curses. Decent girls don't like guys who use obscene language. Try not to use profanity in conversation. This also includes parasitic words such as “well”, “in short”, “as if”. Always make sure that the conversation flows in a decent manner. Even if a young lady suddenly curses, you should not allow yourself to do the same.
  • Gestures, poses. Girls should be comfortable while talking. In addition to the topic of conversation and the manner of communication, this is greatly influenced by the gestures and posture of the interlocutor. You should be relaxed, don’t get too close to the girl, hang over her and “put pressure” on her, violating her personal space, don’t wave your arms, don’t fiddle with her face, hair, or ears. However, you can’t stand like a robot either. You should be relaxed, it is better to choose a position that is comfortable, but not provocative, gestures should be measured.
  • Weakness. Girls like strong, successful, self-confident guys, and therefore there should be no complaints on your part during the conversation. Forget about health, ex-passion, work, study, politics, economics. Anything that might make you feel like you're complaining during a conversation is off-limits. It is better not to use phrases like “I don’t know”, “I need to think about it”. Every word you say should radiate confidence.
  • Dialogue. The conversation should be built in the form of a dialogue. Girls are interested in both listening and telling. In order for the conversation to be structured correctly in this way, you should pause and monitor the lady’s reaction to certain words or phrases. Give her the opportunity to speak out, ask clarifying questions, answer her questions in detail, comment. A well-constructed conversation will show that you are interested in the interlocutor, and are not busy only with yourself.
  • Patience. You need to be able to listen and hear your interlocutor. Do not interrupt your partner, even if you do not agree with her words, listen to the end of the phrase, nod politely, showing that you are interested in the conversation, ask clarifying questions.
  • Brightness. A boring, monotonous conversation does not evoke emotions in girls. To prevent her from yawning while communicating with you, you need to give examples, use vivid words, expressions, images, learn to support your position with interesting facts from history.
  • Positive. Everyone is drawn to positive people, and girls are no exception. Therefore, avoid negative statements, malicious ridicule and jokes during a conversation. Anything that causes unpleasant emotions in a lady is unacceptable. Lightness, good humor, and the right topic are the keys to a successful conversation.
  • Compliments. Learning to give beautiful compliments is a real art. Wowing girls with words and praise is not as easy as it seems. It is important to respect boundaries and know when to stop. Your compliments should not be vulgar or turn into flattery.
  • Cliche. Avoid hackneyed phrases. If until recently the phrase: “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” was considered an original way to start a conversation, today this is completely bad form. Don't even think about using such expressions. Try to be original, come up with something of your own.

These tips can be used as a basis for building proper communication with the opposite sex.

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