One day, when you have experienced many personal failures and finally pieced together your broken heart, when you understand that no one is to blame for your troubles except yourself, when you realize that everything in this world is done only for the purpose of... For you to love yourself and be happy, this day will come - the most important one in your life.
It will come exactly when you stop waiting for it, when you learn to enjoy solitude - communication with your own soul, when you accept yourself and begin to smile with pleasure at your reflection in the mirror in the morning. Then he - your loved one, your soul mate - will definitely feel your message, this signal that you are ready for happiness. Dizzying, all-encompassing, filling you and your whole world.
How to come to terms with the death of a loved one
Unfortunately, we have to admit: we live much more of a material life than a spiritual one. I would like it to be completely different. The moment will come when you have to give everything up. Alexander the Great conquered half the world, and lay in his coffin empty-handed. As if to say: “I’m leaving without taking anything.”
People cope with bereavement differently. Some consider this a natural phenomenon and calmly move on without tormenting their souls. For others, faith helps them cope with the death of a loved one. Hope for eternal life in another world, the miracle of resurrection and awareness of universal justice. Atheists find consolation in the end of torment and suffering. They find the meaning of the deceased's life in the legacy of the person's work.
There is no universal, ready-made way to cope with loss. Everything is strictly individual. Getting over the death of a loved one takes time. Months, sometimes years. The pain of the soul either rushes in or temporarily recedes. It `s naturally. The pain will not go away completely. Periodically: on days of remembrance, birth anniversaries, death of the departed, she will return.
There are a number of stages in bereavement:
- Negotiation . A serious, incurable illness overcomes a dear relative. And we can't help. The efforts of doctors and the search for a miracle cure are fruitless. Death is preparing its next victim. Often in such cases, relatives and friends of a hopeless patient try to make some kind of deal with fate. Promising in return to become better, to make an atoning sacrifice with your behavior. They are ready to take pain and suffering upon themselves. To an outsider, this may look like a somewhat naive echo of some ancient superstitions and rituals. Although there are possible temporary improvements in the patient’s condition, this is a naive illusion. Self-deception. False unrealistic hope. You'll have to break up with her.
- Shock . No wonder – the body’s defenses are activated. The individual switches off for a while, elementary sensuality disappears. Everything that happens is seen from the outside. The person thinks that what is happening has nothing to do with him, and somewhat distances himself from the events taking place. The funeral procedure, burial of the deceased, the importance of observing rituals and traditions are designed to distract from pain and suffering. To bring the relatives of the deceased out of a state of emotional stupor.
- The second stage begins: resentment and anger . A person who has lost a loved one can be offended by anyone. Blame yourself, loved ones, relatives, doctors, society, God, the deceased. A natural phenomenon for people who do not understand the simple truth that we own absolutely nothing. “God gave, God took!” is a statement understandable to any atheist. There is no need to dwell on this difficult stage. On the contrary, let it be stormy, emotional, rude, tough, harsh. The faster you will be able to survive the death of a loved one and move on to the next stage.
- Despair . The soul is filled with a bitter “emptiness”. The flow of feelings, emotions, experiences coming from a loved one has abruptly dried up, there is simply nothing to fill it with. Natural desires fade into the background, the person experiencing loss lives as if “in a fog”, he wants to lie down all the time, he is simply unable to do anything. At such a moment, you really need the support of friends and family. It is important to be able to empathize, to gently and unobtrusively call an interlocutor suffering from a bereavement to a frank conversation, perhaps crying, tears. We must be given the opportunity to “open our souls.” Not everything will work out right away, but time heals any wounds.
- Humility, acceptance . Man is a rational being. He, gradually going through the stages of bereavement, begins to accept what happened as inevitable and learns to live a new life. It is impossible to return the past; one must be able to find other values and make new plans. Overcome pain, grief, mourning. It's normal if a year passes and you are able to cope with the death of a loved one. Courage, resilience, and the ability to endure losses will help with this.
- Peace . A year or two passes. Maybe more. The bitterness and pain gradually dull. It’s good if they are replaced by bright, calm feelings, awareness of the importance of the past life path of someone who has untimely departed to another world. It is important that there are successors to the work of the deceased, followers who were able to pick up his initiatives. A man lives a dream. It’s wonderful when wishes come true, at least after the death of the dreamer himself.
Everyone is able to endure all the hardships of fate and live quite happily, with dignity. Otherwise, the human race would have died out long ago. This must be firmly known and remembered! Our ancestors did not go through such difficulties, but they managed to survive, get back on their feet and overcome everything! We can do it too.
The death of a loved one - a tragedy or a new chord in life?
Man does everything to continue himself in time. And naturally, each of your loved ones leaves their mark. Some in their children, others in science or art, and some generally leave a deep mark on the soul of all humanity.
The tragedy of the death of a loved one is not the final chord of your life, but an opportunity to think about how your life resonates in the present. Are there any false notes in it, are you doing everything to leave your unique mark on the earth.
Advice from a psychologist: how to cope with loss
Sometimes coping with the loss of a close relative can be very difficult. A modern member of society is not morally prepared for a difficult test. They haven’t taught you, they don’t know how, they don’t know how to drink “your cup of grief to the bottom” and endure everything. But you have to, life will force you. Conclusion: you need to prepare in advance. Be able to understand, accept, let go. Today there is no social institution for moral support for a person in trouble, and we are forced to resort to the services of psychologists, knowing that we cannot cope on our own. Although, it must be admitted that some efforts are being made by society. But after the fact. When solving a problem becomes an unbearable burden for a person.
In such situations, psychologists advise following the general path, taking individual steps:
- It hurts - it hurts . It is impossible to expel the pain of loss from the depths of the soul. Periodically it will return again, gradually subsiding. This is fine. We must learn to live, calmly accepting the severity of the past. Mental suffering will help you become stronger, withstand, endure.
- Rethinking . The blow dealt by death, tearing one out of the usual circle, makes one think deeply about the very essence of existence. We must be more frank: this awaits all of us. Questions arise: what will happen there, beyond the line? What is the process of dying? What happens to those who left our world?
- There is no need to isolate yourself from thinking . They are common for a mature person. We are thinking beings. Through pondering the deep philosophical questions that life harshly poses to us, a person’s spiritual growth occurs. Someone comes to faith, someone will need to read a number of works of philosophical and scientific literature. This helps to calmly cope with the death of a loved one. Take what has happened for granted.
- Communication . Conversations. At a certain stage, a desire arises to share feelings, thoughts, experiences. This is a sign that the one tormented by the torment of experiences is on the right path. It is important to find the right interlocutors who can understand. And they will not take the path of contradiction or depreciation of the loss. It would be great if relatives or friends can provide support. Their role at such moments in life is truly enormous and irreplaceable.
- "Spiritual separation" . No matter how long the pain and heaviness last, you must give, let go. No matter how dear the deceased is, there is a limit. And it’s better not to delay this. Otherwise, you will have serious mental illness and long, difficult treatment. Not everyone can do it. You can’t live with deep pain in your soul all the time. You need to make a point somewhere. Say goodbye, forgive, ask for forgiveness. Let go of severe pain. You can't torment yourself needlessly.
- Rest . The heavy burden of loss makes us more vulnerable. We endure the most common troubles and problems much more painfully. Any little thing can easily “knock a person out of the rut of life.” Therefore, rest, some solitude, and peace are extremely necessary. To restore lost strength, to survive the loss, to gain the desire to live on.
Tears help you cope with the death of a loved one
But tears are different. In a state of loss, when an unbearable tragedy clouds the mind, we begin to cry out of fear for ourselves. A whole circle of thoughts rushes through my head: how will I live without a loved one, a loved one?
We often cry out of self-pity. But tears can bring relief if you are able to redirect the vector of attention from yourself to others, to those who are also feeling bad right now. Visual people have a unique talent for empathy and compassion: the desire to support and reassure another will bring you great relief in how to cope with the loss of a loved one.
Of course, the loss of a loved one is a very difficult condition. It is important to understand all the psychological characteristics of these conditions, then you will be able not only to cope with the pain yourself, but also to help other people who have experienced loss.
Father's advice: how to accept the passing of a loved one
A simple comparison of the torment and pain of a deeply religious person and a person whose soul is empty (it simply cannot be empty, which means it is filled with worldly passions and temptations) will show the high degree of despair of the latter. Modern culture has erased the terrible topic of death from the everyday arsenal of life. Completely in vain. Alas: again we have to remind you of the obvious truth: this is impossible. The departure to the afterlife is inevitable, inevitable.
Previously, artists, musicians, and writers did not avoid the terrible topic. On the contrary, they sought to understand, realize, and accept the inevitability of the cessation of worldly existence. They tried to give some kind of hope, an understanding of eternity, and thereby protected people from severe mental trauma in moments of despair and grief. This helped to accept the inevitable and go through all the stages of a loved one’s departure with wisdom and fortitude. Deep spiritual knowledge is a reliable shield in difficult times.
If trouble happens in the house, we go to the temple, to God, to ask for mercy and the protection of heavenly powers. We want the Almighty to intercede for us, help us, take away torment and suffering, and make it easier to survive the death of a loved one. We naively believe that with a single act we can change the current world order. One such act is not enough. Although, if this movement of the soul becomes the first step towards deep and comprehensive faith, the worldview will change. The road to a new understanding of things, to finding other – eternal values – will be open.
Today's science makes timid attempts to study pre-death and post-death experiences. Books are published, experiments are conducted. Advances in medicine make it possible to bring a person out of a state of clinical death. The body is repeatedly weighed during the process of biological death. Scientists are trying to measure the soul with grams. Hypotheses, doubts, refutations do not dispel doubts and leave eternal problems unresolved. A person wants something completely different: a simple, deep, everything-explaining faith.
He begins to open his soul to God. Searches and gradually finds answers to questions that arise.
- What helps us survive the death of a loved one, first of all, is the realization that we are not the owners of the reality around us. She's not ours. We are temporary guests here. Everything will have to be given away. It is necessary to learn to part calmly, to develop the skills of a correct attitude towards loss.
- A person is not an iron rock and has the right to feelings. Sometimes, unbearably difficult. If you need to cry, sob, howl, fight hysterically, break, smash, destroy (up to certain limits, of course), then you don’t need to interfere with him. The sacred life right of everyone brought into the world by a father and mother is to suffer, to suffer, to experience pain. You must go through this in order to then become much stronger and calmer. Necessary mourning rituals existed in every culture. Our social environment is no exception.
- Endless sorrow and despair is a great sin. So is suicide. God gave man life in order to go through a series of difficult, difficult trials, and find true Faith. It won't work any other way. You shouldn’t look back at false morality and look for other people’s recipes. Through life, a person follows his own path, the path given to him personally. But it doesn’t hurt to look at others. They also went through this, which means we can do it too.
- For a believer there is an afterlife, a miracle of resurrection. “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.” The very concept of death in Orthodoxy is only a temporary process of transition to a better world. Best! Then why grieve? Everything is different there, incomparably better. However, such a fate must be earned by living a righteous life.
- Often, a grieving person is consoled by the thought that a relative or loved one who died untimely sees everything and wants us to be happy. It is unpleasant for him to see us in inconsolable grief. The time will come: we will all meet and rise in God.
- And finally, the insidious question: “Imagine if we had eternal life on Earth? Wouldn't people be mired in sin? Wouldn’t you give your souls to the Devil?” The man is weak. One day he transgressed God's providence. As a result, he received death as torment and redemption. But God is merciful. He gave his son Jesus Christ to be crucified, opening the way for people. There is a direct path to happiness. It is difficult, but righteous. You won't be able to deceive or cheat.
How to recognize your soul mate?
At first you won't even be aware of it. Information will be read by the subconscious and accumulated in it. Are there not enough people in the world who are passionate about the same thing?! Well, yes, it’s interesting to discuss, easy to communicate, fun to laugh at.
But day after day you yourself will be surprised to discover:
- You trust this stranger more than your close friends and even yourself
- You naturally bring out your best qualities when interacting with him.
- And at the same time, you don’t need to pretend to be someone you are not - put on masks to appear better
- From talking with him, my heart is calm - gradually it ceases to be afraid that it will be broken again, it begins to beat joyfully from his calls, messages and glances
- From communicating with him, the soul wants to sing, dance, draw, collect candy wrappers and burn wooden boards - anything, just to create and create.
- Together with him, you are not afraid to discover new things and expand your own horizons. And now you feel that you are ready to jump with a parachute, learn to roller skate, sign up for salsa lessons, move to the north or south - it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s together
- You notice that he treats you even better than you do - extols your talents, praises you for small victories, admires major achievements
- And even if you turn out to be more successful than him in some way, he is not offended. On the contrary, he is proud to know such an amazing person like you
How to let go of pain, leaving a bright memory
Death, tearing a loved one out of the usual circle of life, “unsettles” him, severely breaks the established way of life, and forces him to look at life in a new way. People cope with loss differently. Some calmly and quickly adapt and return to normal, others suffer and suffer for a long time.
The husband regrets that he did not have time to do enough good for his wife; the helpless children lose all support in life and have no idea how they will live in the future. It happens that they reach severe mental suffering and physical torment.
They cannot simply let go of the deceased. They cling like a drowning man to a straw. Obviously, this is due to moral infantilism, the inability to lose and come to terms with losses. But life is not always about acquisition and accumulation. We often forget this. Moreover, we don’t even want to think about losses. Because not seeing troubles and turning a blind eye to them is much easier than being able to wisely and calmly survive them.
An angry person, at a moment of immeasurable loss, reproaches the people close to him, society, and God. He just can’t come to terms with and get over the loss. Doesn't want to know the other's ways. Immense egoism blinds the eyes.
You can't bring a dead person back. Birth, life and death are links in one chain. And we must understand: someone was born, which means that he certainly and necessarily... We are only temporary guests in this world. And our real place is there – beyond the line of existence. Here a person stays for a century, and there FOREVER! One has only to think a little about such things, and everything becomes clear and understandable.
Life on Earth is given in order to mature for another world. Let's take a look at the most common fruits that we consume every day. They are born, develop, grow in order to give themselves to continue another life. How are we, people who imagine ourselves to be the pinnacle of natural perfection, better? We, the “supposedly perfect” ones, cannot accept the natural course of time, which creates and absorbs everything?
It’s amazing how strongly a person is drawn to death and stubbornly refuses to live. This is understandable: life is difficult, sometimes incredibly difficult and painful. Especially if any irreversible changes occur that the individual is completely unprepared to accept. He cannot come to terms with and survive the death of a loved one. “The poor fellow is beating and beating against an invisible wall.” All you have to do is “unclench your clenched hands” and give away someone who doesn’t belong to you. In return, something new, valuable and expensive will definitely come.
A small note. Let's imagine an incredibly greedy person who filled a chest with gold. He was given the opportunity to fill the chest with more expensive diamonds. But in return, you need to give gold. There is no choice, otherwise the gold will simply “burn”, simultaneously burning the owner. He couldn't give it away. Conclusion: is it worth becoming like such a subject? (Of course, any comparison is lame, but anyone who wants to will understand.)
It is necessary to become a more mature, and therefore understanding, person. A person simply must grow spiritually every day. Accumulate strength of spirit, increase its degree. And then, at a difficult moment of testing, you won’t have to tear yourself apart, break your entire worldview, “tear yourself to pieces,” suffering endlessly and fruitlessly. This will change absolutely nothing. The time will come when the sufferer himself, having gone through torment, will become spiritually stronger. Advice: you need to prepare in advance. Otherwise, difficult experiences that destroy the mind and feelings cannot be avoided.
There are no general guidelines for the best way to cope with a loss. Each specific case will necessarily have its own decisions, actions, and events. You shouldn’t focus too much on other people’s experience. But some limits still exist. The well-known forty days, six months, maximum a year is quite enough time to survive the death of a loved one and return to normal life. It is recommended to do something for the deceased. For a believer, these will be prayers, memorial notes, and so on. For an atheist, it is possible to continue the life work of someone who has died untimely. It’s not a bad idea to put a monument on the grave, to write about a person dear to all close friends, pleasant memories. A bright memory is a wonderful feeling. But if the pain persists and deep depression sets in, then urgent measures must be taken. One of them is the help of psychologists.
Login to the site
I wish I had read an article like this during my desperate struggle to save my relationship with my soulmate, it would have been a big help and it's a shame that such information didn't come out then. But the higher powers were kind to me and everything happened very gently and gradually. If it had happened quickly and right through the gap, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stand it. And so, fate took us to different countries and for six years we were separated from each other molecule by molecule, which was relatively painless. If the topic of soul mates is relevant to you, then read the invaluable information and tips below that will help you experience these strongest connections and such a rich experience as comfortably as possible, and come out of there without major losses. In my opinion, this is a very powerful article and I hasten to share it with you.
***
Ending a relationship with a soulmate feels heavy and liberating at the same time.
Soul mates are sent to us to awaken us and show us our shadow sides so that we can evolve to higher states of consciousness and when this journey comes to an end, we find it very difficult to part with them.
Usually both parties in the relationship begin to feel that something is no longer working, and this happens because the manifesting and healing work has already been done and your souls know on a subconscious level that it is time to move on.
Many people resist this phase and many turn it on too early. In fact, there is a great temptation to end early, because most often such relationships bring many personal and emotional crises.
It is always your choice to stay in the job or leave, but know that soulmate relationships ending too soon will often bring you back to each other, physically or on an emotional or spiritual level.
Or sometimes you will even attract another person who will mystically resemble the previous one and bring the same spiritual lessons, everything will repeat again in other relationships.
It is important to remember that when such relationships arise, especially soulmate relationships, there is not much you can do to change God's plan. All you can do is accept and surrender to the will of the Highest, asking that this all happen for the benefit of everyone and with ease for you.
Any relationship is hard to end, but especially with a soulmate, there is always another level of spiritual disconnection, which provides a great challenge and overcoming.
If you're having a hard time coping with the end of your relationship with your soulmate, or if you feel the end is approaching, here are some tips to help you:
Recharge your energetic connections
We are all connected to each other by etheric threads or energy cords, and they are strongest in personal relationships.
You and your soulmate most likely have a very strong energy cord, and when problems arise, it clouds the energy of the cord, causing communication problems and an inability to see the other's point of view.
Take time to visualize your energy cord with your soulmate and imagine how it is cleansed and made pure, filled with golden light.
Through this action, you can improve communication and understanding among yourself in order to connect with your true feelings.
Activate the Crown and Heart Chakras
Whatever the cause of your grief, loving and healing energy can be sent there, especially if you are having a hard time letting go.
To do this, imagine a beautiful pink light entering through your crown chakra and flowing down into your heart chakra. Watch as this light becomes brighter and stronger, as it softens any pain or difficulties that prevent you from moving forward.
As you visualize the light, continue to ask the Divine to help you in all your situations so that they will be resolved with love and ease.
Ask to see your Contract
shower
Everyone has a Soul Contract and your soulmate is most likely a party to this contract. In meditation, ask your spirit guides or angels to show you your contract and the lessons you two have agreed to take together as a life-changing fulfillment.
You can ask to see the higher purpose of your union and you can also ask about the time (duration) of your contract.
You must understand that no contract lasts longer than it should, but if both souls wish and it is done by the free will of both, you can enter into a new contract.
Take it for granted
It's difficult when one of you wants to leave and the other wants to stay, but whatever the situation, you shouldn't judge the other person and should respect their choice.
If your partner wants to leave, you need to give him space to do so and accept his needs without judgment.
If you are in a state of struggle and resistance, imagine a loving and radiant energy filling your situation. Understand and trust your partner's decision making and their ability to choose what's right for them.
You can also allow the Supreme to be here and show you the way and help you accept what is happening.
Letting go is a powerful thing and the more space you make, the more healing you will experience. (If you watched my favorite TV series “Once Upon a Time,” there are several moments there - when a person, by sacrificing himself or someone dear to him, receives absolution and liberation, the highest forgiveness and deliverance).
Soul mates come and go
You can have many soulmates, so when such a relationship ends it does not mean that you are forever condemned to life without the chance of meeting your soulmate again.
Sometimes we get so excited about the idea of meeting our soulmate that we forget that often such relationships are not meant to last forever.
Soul mates are sent to help us evolve to higher states of awareness and there often comes a time when it is time to move on to the next levels of consciousness after the necessary work has been completed.
Remember that there are always other kindred spirits out there and they are ready to accept you when the time is right.
Release negative emotions
It's inevitable that you'll have negative emotions as you approach the end of a relationship, especially if you both feel differently about your path forward.
Know that feeling such negative emotions towards each other or the situation will not help anyone or promote healing in any way.
Call on your angels or Spirit Guides to help you release the fears and doubts, attachments and guilt that usually accompany the end of a relationship.
Ask Higher Leadership to resolve this ending of the relationship in the most harmonious and healing way and try to remain in tune with high vibrational thoughts.
Don't take it personally (nothing personal)
This can be very difficult to do, but no matter what the reason for the end of the relationship, know that it is not your fault - it is no one's fault, it just is.
Everyone has their own journey and their own process, and it's very rare that something touches you personally that causes an ending. More often than not, it has to do with where you both are individually in your travels.
This is especially true in soulmate relationships, where you both do the best you can based on what you know. Remembering this will help you bring healing and forgiveness to any pain you are experiencing.
If you are having difficulty dealing with this energy, asking for clarity and guidance from a Higher on how to move forward and even meditating on how your partner might be feeling will help you come from a place of compassion and understanding.
Follow the signs
How do you know what it's really all about? The Universe will give you signs and the more you are open to them and recognize them, the more they will be heard and felt.
You can ask the Divine to send you guiding signs so that you know when it is time to move on. Trust these signs and trust the Higher Leadership and you will know what to do at every moment of life.
If you are both awakened (aware) chances are that you will both hear and feel similar signs. If this is not the case, don't despair. Just trust your intuition and ensure that your partner will receive their signs when they need to, at the right time.
Closing the door
When you both decide to go your separate ways, take time to honor your spiritual connection and all the lessons you've learned.
together.
It may be impossible to remain friends at first, but there's no reason why you can't reflect on all the good times together and send the other one a message of gratitude.
Take time to acknowledge the lessons learned and surround your loved one with love and light, pray for him to be happy in his journey through life and sincerely wish him the best.
Ending a relationship with a soulmate is quite difficult and often partners go through numerous breakups before they are fully matured for a final end.
Trust that everything has a Divine beginning and end, and by following these nine tips during this difficult time, understand how you can more consciously navigate this process of ending a relationship with your soulmate.
Author: - Lyudmila King
