I fell out of love with my husband, what to do: advice from a psychologist, if you have children, after childbirth, forum

Concept of the word love

One can immediately question Beigbeder’s arguments, because there are forms of love that cannot be doubted and last the entire life of the object’s existence. For example, love for a child. Parents do not love the child only for the first three years, and then they give him rations and send him on the voyage called life. Every parent sacrifices their interests , time, and resources for the sake of their children throughout their lives, so this postulate about three years is unlikely to be true. The time of love depends on ourselves.

Signs of lost love

But how can one determine how long love lasts? Or, for example, give an answer to the question: how to find out if your wife loves you. Is this bright feeling glowing? Is there still tenderness and a desire to love and be loved?

There are certain signs that a wife has stopped loving her husband:

The first sign of a happy family can be considered spending time together, sharing common interests and hobbies: this could be creativity, relaxation, going to the cinema, theater or concert. If this is not the case, and your wife wants to do all this without you, then you should think about whether you are the right person in the family.
Another reason to think is the lack of desire to like. Any woman wants to please a man. Wants to look neat and elegant. If in front of you is a woman in a dirty robe, then you are either “their guy”, or they have ceased to consider you a man and no longer want to conquer you. There is another option - fatigue and illness. Here you need to take part and help your wife.
If a wife does not love her husband, she stops caring for her half. Your wife or girlfriend doesn’t care what time you come home, what kind of person you come to, or what you eat. Lack of care is an alarming sign, since a woman has a well-developed maternal instinct, and if she stops loving you, it means you have left the circle of “your” people. And your marriage is at risk.
The fourth warning sign may be aggression. Moreover, it is not just aggression, but inadequate. Any of your actions, any of your words or actions can lead to an altercation, and sometimes to physical violence. However, nothing like this had happened before. But now the flowers are not flowers, and the earrings are not earrings. The simple fact is that love has passed.

There are also additional, but no less important criteria by which you can assess the level of how happy a family is:

Co-sleeping. Man is a social being. And the family, as we all know, is the unit of society. We spend a third of our lives sleeping. We work a third. A third is occupied with our affairs. When people love each other, they want to be together as long as possible. Not only after work, but also during an unconscious state: in a dream. So, if you don’t sleep together, this is also a reason to think about it.
Present. The desire to do something nice. Even if these are small things, they are very necessary. Even shoe laces can be a nice gift. And if you are not given any attention, they don’t want to do something nice, think: “What happened in our marriage?”
Also, such a trifle as a chocolate bar eaten by the other half alone can be a reason to think about it. It might seem like a small thing, but close people, as a rule, share not only hardships, but also pleasant moments.
Next point: personal conversations. This means heart-to-heart conversations about what is happening to you now, your joint plans for your future life, even discussion of expensive purchases. If this doesn't happen, ring the bell.
A good reason to wonder whether there are still tender feelings between you is the refusal to marry you. Perhaps you shouldn’t boil over prematurely, but you should listen to her reasoned objections on this matter. Maybe she's right about something.

How to understand that a girl has fallen out of love - the main signs of this phenomenon are so different. You need to trust your own intuition . Although, perhaps, we can highlight the main one.

The main sign that a girl has stopped loving you is the appearance of a third party in your relationship. Moreover, this face is male. Everything becomes clear if passwords appear on social networks, on the phone, conversations on the phone in front of you immediately stop, the girl disappears somewhere and often does not pick up the phone and starts lying. There is an exception: some girls like to test their men for jealousy or try to stir them up for some action.

What to do: advice from a psychologist

Psychologists offer only two solutions if feelings for your husband have cooled:

Stay and try to rekindle the love.
Divorce.

READ How to understand that your husband has fallen out of love: characteristics of your spouse’s behavior

What decision a woman makes depends on the specific situation. This is largely influenced by related factors: age and marital experience, the presence of a child or other limiting reasons. When you are not sure, you should listen to the advice of psychologists:

A change of scenery - a vacation at sea or in another country, a weekend trip out of town, a vacation in a sanatorium. Time spent together in an unusual environment, devoid of everyday hustle and bustle, will help you understand whether there are still any feelings left.
Self-development - a radical or not so radical change of image (change of style, new hairstyle, bright lipstick). Perhaps, seeing changes in his wife’s appearance, the husband will show interest in her.
Living separately - not having a husband nearby will help you understand how good or bad it is without him.

Making a choice is more difficult if there is a child in the family. In this case, the issue of divorce should be raised only if it is possible to support the child on your own. Moreover, this concerns not only the material side of the issue, but also the possibility of proper child development (physical and moral).

How to save your marriage and love again

When the decision has been made to resume the relationship, it is first worth analyzing the husband’s behavior. If a man still loves, it will be easier to save the marriage. It is very important to act together, otherwise nothing will work out. You need to start a dialogue with your spouse, sum up the results of living together:

Write on a piece of paper what you have already achieved together, as well as your plans for the future.
Issues can only be resolved together.
List on paper all the advantages and disadvantages of each other. After exchanging notes, work out problematic issues.
Dialogue is important. During conversations, you need to listen and hear each other.
Paying more attention to your spouse will help him become softer. At the same time, it is worth accepting the authority of your husband as a fact, becoming a woman, not a feminist.
Trust and sincerity. Only an open demonstration of feelings and thoughts will help establish contact between spouses. It’s worth telling your husband directly that even though feelings for him have cooled, there is a desire to start all over again. This will convince the man that he needs a wife, that he cannot lose her, and that he must go towards his goal together.
Joint leisure time - weekends, vacations, repairs, walks, business trips. If you spend more time together, it will be easier to get closer again, there will be more new topics for communication, and shared pleasant memories.

READ Jealous husband: causes and solutions to the problem

It is also worth going with your husband to see a psychologist. A specialist will help you understand the problem and offer effective methods to overcome the current situation.

How to leave and start over

If love has passed completely, there is no point in tormenting each other. Divorce in this case is the most sensible decision. There is no need to say goodbye to the scandal; you should explain to your spouse in a calm but convincing manner the impossibility of further relations. You definitely need to show respect, remember the good things, but summarize that at some point everything went wrong. That is why everything urgently needs to change.

Of course, the man will start to dissuade you and promise to fix everything. But you need to firmly insist on your own. False hopes will only offend a person more. Next time, separation will be inevitable, but it will no longer be possible to “remain friends.”

It’s good if you have the opportunity to go to a separate house, your parents’ apartment, or rented living space. You need to immediately pack your things and leave. There is no point in delaying. A man must understand that his intentions are serious.

Family preservation rules

Of course, it is impossible to answer the question of how to save a family if the wife has fallen out of love. But it can be noted that every person is capable of change. This means you just need to try to diversify your life.

Perhaps not everything is so critical. Perhaps it’s just fatigue, routine, to overcome them, you need to change something in your daily routine and behavior . Do something original that will make people look at you with different eyes. This could be an unexpected holiday together, New Year's greetings from Santa Claus, or some other non-standard surprise.

Perhaps you just need to have a heart-to-heart talk and solve the problems that have accumulated between you. And then everything will be fine. Don't rush, don't do anything drastic. Adults should talk to each other. Silence is not always golden.

Source: chebo.biz

If there is a child

If there are children, then it is also necessary to discuss with whom they will live and how often they will see the other parent.

As a rule, the child remains with the mother. In this case, check whether the father will help financially support the child.

In any case, it would not be a bad idea to apply for alimony.

It will be much better for your child if you can maintain friendly relations with your ex-husband.

After all, communication with the father is important for the baby. It won't be easy

But overcome your hostility for the sake of the dearest person in the world.

When your child grows up, he will thank you for allowing him to communicate with his father.

Signs that a wife has stopped loving her husband

There is no single sign that can indicate the loss of warm feelings for your husband, but there are serious “bells” that foretell the beginning of the end.

So, how to understand that you have fallen out of love with your husband or are already on the edge of this brink - 5 brightest signals:

Loss of communication connection

Only the beginning of a relationship is built on passion, while true love is based on the communicative component: empathy, emotional and social intelligence, trust, interest, etc. When a wife stops loving her husband, she loses her communicative connection with him.

In marriage there is no more room for intimate conversations, sincere questions, or a desire to help. For the wife, everything her partner says causes irritation: more and more often she remains silent, criticizes, rolls her eyes, openly expresses dissatisfaction, or simply brushes aside the boring dialogue. Interest in everything that happens in the husband’s life disappears. If previously a woman was preoccupied with how her husband’s day went or why it took him so long to get home from work, now she doesn’t recognize these things, she no longer cares. When a woman has fallen out of love, there is no longer any sympathy, no support, no understanding.

If dialogue is still inevitable, the wife openly yawns, closes herself in poses, turns away from her husband, building an invisible wall between herself and the interlocutor. Trust also disappears: if a woman has fallen out of love, she no longer trusts her companion. Not with anything. It constantly seems to her that her partner is an insincere deceiver, a liar, an unreliable friend, a traitor, etc.

Satisfaction from solitude

Another obvious symptom that makes it clear that a wife has stopped loving her husband is her enjoyment of loneliness. When we love, we want to constantly see, feel, talk with our loved one, inhale his scent, laugh, be silent with him, etc. When feelings fade away, spending time together suddenly begins to tire, irritate, depress, disturb. If earlier a girl was worried, worried, nervous when separated from her lover (she didn’t eat, suffered, cried, was incredibly bored), now, being alone, she feels lightness, high spirits, euphoria, and a surge of strength.

The wife feels: from now on she is no longer attracted to her husband. She has freed herself from emotional attachment and can live without him just fine. I no longer want to call on the phone three times a day, send a bunch of ridiculous messages, or cater to dinner. She feels great alone - her time belongs only to herself!

Does your husband have a business trip, a shift, or negotiations in another city? A woman who has fallen out of love will not be upset at all by this fact; she will also be happy to help you pack your suitcase for the trip!

Reluctance to engage in intimate relationships

Physical attraction between people can tell a lot. Lovers want to constantly touch each other, hug, kiss, and give their other half pleasure. They only need a couple of minutes for passion to flare up and an acute sexual desire to arise. What happens if the attraction subsides?

When a woman feels that she has become cold to the touches of her once beloved husband, he is unlikely to remain her “beloved.” As a rule, marital intimacy for cold wives becomes a pure formality, the usual performance of marital duties, during which she can think about completely unrelated things (what to cook for breakfast, whether to take an umbrella to work, what flea drops are best to buy for a cat). Or it could be even worse: instead of your husband, another man will appear in your thoughts!

A wife falls out of love if her husband’s hints about sex are ignored under any pretext (tired, headache, let’s do it tomorrow, not in the mood). Excuses can sound either in a soft, apologetic form or in an aggressive, accusatory tone (you only think about yourself, you don’t care about my feelings, you’re selfish, just give it to you!).

Things are really bad if the husband’s caresses and touches cause rejection in the wife, and after intimacy she experiences a strong desire to take a bath, get dressed, bury her face in her phone, turn away and forget about what is happening.

Rigidity in character

“You’ve never been like this before! What happened to you? Why did you become such a bitch? Usually a woman hears such complaints from a man whom she has stopped loving. Indeed, a new direction of wind appears in their marriage, by no means the warmest...

How to understand that a wife does not love her husband:

She no longer wants to ingratiate herself, seem better, bend over, pretend. If earlier a woman smoothed over something, could resolve an impending conflict, turned a blind eye to something, now she does not do this. “Yes, I am like that! I won't step over myself. I won't change! If you don’t like it, look for someone else!” - standard phrases of a woman who has fallen out of love.
She began to become irritated by the once acceptable display of affection. Any attempt by the husband to hug, pinch, or take his hand causes disgust, and affectionate nicknames create a storm of negative emotions in the soul in a second. “Well, what kind of pussy am I to you? How old are you? Maybe it's time to grow up? Stop babying me, especially in front of other people, it makes me sick!”
Straightforwardness in words and actions appeared. From the outside, it seems as if the woman is testing her partner’s patience, increasingly crossing the line of what is permitted. When you stop loving a person, but you continue to be on the same territory with him, life resembles a swamp, where you are increasingly sucked into the abyss of negativity. There is no longer any strength to restrain himself, so with every quarrel the husband hears more and more unflattering reviews about himself: “Loser, mama’s boy, coward! There's nothing you can do! Look at you!" etc.
All the weaknesses, mistakes, and inability of the husband began to be perceived extremely sharply and negatively. Any offense by the husband becomes a reason for protracted conflicts, insults, and showdowns. The wife seems to take pleasure in her husband’s mistakes, poking his nose with pleasure. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else from you! I'm not surprised! You are in your repertoire!”

Perhaps the most striking sign that a wife has stopped loving her husband is her awareness of the absence of fear of losing him. She no longer holds back in scandals: she does not filter her words, calling names and humiliating her partner, rushes to pack her suitcase, defiantly leaves the house (goes to bed, puts on headphones), etc.

If a wife has fallen out of love, with all her appearance she demonstrates disrespect towards the rightful chosen one. Respect is the main ally of love, so it is the first to disappear.

Stinginess

When you love, you are ready to give your last to your partner. You are ruled by selflessness: you spend your internal resources, money, time just to make your other half smile. Seeing the smile and satisfaction of our loved one, we ourselves experience sincere happiness.

To figure out whether a wife has really stopped loving her husband, you need to pay attention to her desire to please her partner. Firstly, the impulse to do something for your spouse “just because” disappears. A woman reacts to any requests from her legal chosen one something like this: “Will you do it for me? What do you do in return? I won’t do it, you don’t fulfill my requests. I’m also as tired as you are!” etc. There is no talk of showing initiative!

Secondly, she began to save money on her husband. If previously a woman would never return from shopping without an extra pair of socks for her beloved husband, now real savings begin. “So, his underpants are still wearable, I’ll sew up his sweatpants, instead of shaving gel he’ll use foam this time,” etc.

Love is a feeling that cannot be controlled, logically, or understood. One thing we know for sure is that she makes us deceive. If in your family life it seems to you that you have stopped loving your husband, this is normal, this happens to every living woman! Everyone is tired of everyday life, problems, the frantic pace of life... However, if we act on a momentary impulse, we will get lost in our own unrealization! Then why are we called the Higher Mind?! Take a look around. If your husband has truly become a stranger to you, well, don’t keep him. And if you are simply confused in your feelings, exhale and drink tea - give your love a little more time to open up!

Source: budumna.ru

Signs that your wife has fallen out of love?! Why are you looking for them? Probably because deep down you already understand and realize that not everything in your family is as smooth as you would like. Our article will help you understand the situation. So, we will tell you in detail what in your spouse’s behavior should alert you, and what you should pay special attention to. We will also tell you how to correct the situation.

There are signs. Signs that a woman no longer loves a man. They are based on many years of observations by psychologists and help you see not only the details, but the whole picture as a whole. When you realize that the situation is getting out of control, when you realize that you have lost touch with the woman you love, then you can act and solve this problem!

So, what in the behavior of your significant other should alert you. 10 simplest and most obvious signs that your spouse no longer loves you!

1 She doesn't support.

And what's more, she also criticizes you. If you tell her about successes or failures at work, in response you only hear contemptuous laughter, distrust and criticism addressed to you. Her dissatisfaction extends not only to work, but to all other areas of activity. She has stopped taking your side and criticizes you in everything: how you live, how you dress, how you earn money, how you spend your leisure time!

As a result, you realize that you live with an eternally dissatisfied, muttering woman who “blows your brains out” for any reason. This is not love. This is exactly what she looks like.

2 She doesn't want you.

Lack of attraction is one of the main signs that a woman has fallen out of love. No matter what she tells you: bad mood, magnetic storms, quarreled with her sister, got up on the wrong foot - these are all excuses. The only good reason why a wife does not want to sleep with her husband could be a health problem, or severe stress. Everything else is a banal reluctance to have sex. Simply put, she doesn’t want you as a man in bed, but she’s embarrassed to say so.

3 She doesn't consult you.

Some little things, some thoughts in her head, ideas, reflections - all this passes you by. You stopped texting each other, stopped keeping in touch during the day. She answers your calls dryly and dissatisfied. To your desire to know where she is and with whom, she reacts with irritation and assures that she is not obliged to report to her husband.

4 She flirts with others.

If before your wife was afraid to smile at the man she met for fear that it would upset you and push you away, now she doesn’t care. She can smile at others even in your presence.

5 She's not with you socially.

If you go out somewhere together in society, then you suddenly realize that, being in a couple, for some reason you spend the entire evening communicating with other people. With anyone except his own wife. She’s just never around, because a wife is much more interested in the company of other people than with her husband. It turns out that you seem to be a couple, but at the same time you behave like strangers.

6 She doesn't want to spend time together.

Before reading further, watch this video:

Romantic weekends just for the two of you are already a thing of the past. Now, in order for you to have fun, she must definitely call someone else and “dilute your company.” The spouse justifies himself by saying that it’s more fun with a big group. In fact, she's just bored with you alone.

7 She stopped dressing up for you.

New hairstyles, new style, new jewelry and dresses, sexy outfits and romantic dinners... all this is also a thing of the past. Now your communication comes down more to business, when you, as partners, resolve important everyday issues. She no longer wants to serve you coffee in bed, pamper you with new outfits, update your wardrobe FOR YOU. She stopped feeling like a woman next to you, because she stopped perceiving you as her beloved man.

8 She wants to quarrel.

If earlier your wife preferred to hush up conflicts in your family, in order not to spoil the nerves and atmosphere in the house, now you see that she has begun to react aggressively to every remark you make.

She doesn’t mind quarreling, even stopping communicating with you, because she is seriously annoyed by your point of view, and she is ready to prove hers to the bitter end. No compromise. Only “I’m right”!

9 She's not jealous of you.

You can look spick and span and hint with all your appearance that you have a cute little assistant at work with whom you don’t mind flirting, but she doesn’t care. This is not a good sign. A loving woman is usually very jealous.

10 She doesn't touch you.

Sometimes touching means even more to a woman than sex. If she loves her husband, she constantly tries to “squeeze” him. Either he will hug you, then he will sit on the lap of his beloved man, then he will spank him in a friendly manner, or he will simply kiss him. All these are elements of flirting, the reaction of her body that occurs when a woman is in the same space with an interesting man. If this is not the case, then it is possible that your wife has already stopped loving you.

So, if you have discovered most of the signs in the behavior of your beloved woman, it is too early to despair. There is no need to become hysterical, much less convince yourself that your marriage is over. No. You can return your beloved woman and her desire to be with you, as well as your closeness, in no time, if, again, you believe in your strength and begin to act. How to proceed? You need to take advantage of the advice of professional psychologists, which we publish in other articles on this site. There, you will find clear, step-by-step instructions on how to get your beloved woman back. Open them and read useful information.

Well, we will once again briefly go through this publication and answer the question that you asked at the beginning: “Signs that a wife has fallen out of love, what are they?” Very clear and simple. Carefully observe your wife’s behavior, and you will quickly detect changes in her attitude towards you! So, if she doesn't love anymore, she:

Doesn't support you.
Doesn't want to sleep with you.
Doesn't consult with you and doesn't correspond with you during the day.
I don't mind flirting with other men.
Doesn't want to be around when you're out in public.
Doesn't want to spend time just together.
Doesn't want to dress up for you.
Doesn't want to compromise.
He's not jealous of you.
Doesn't touch you anymore.

Source: vernutizhenu.ru

(Not) eternal love

When we fall in love and our hormones are raging, we feel like the relationship will last forever. You will never fall out of love with each other and will become one of those sweet older couples who leisurely walk through the park and smile at each other.

Well, that happens. Love for life, a fairy tale in reality and all that. But unfortunately, most couples break up after a certain period of time. Ruthless statistics indicate that eternal love and cloudless happiness are the exception rather than the rule. Sometimes we put in a lot of effort and try to do the impossible, but the relationship still dies.

The reasons why relationships fall apart are different for each couple. Perhaps you and your boyfriend are looking in different directions and the lines of your future simply do not intersect. Or your boyfriend doesn’t understand what you want from him, and you can’t convey your desires to him.

Or a more common option - you just stopped loving him.

It can be difficult to separate anxiety, depression, and general mental fatigue from the fatigue caused by your relationship.

But we will try to do it.

Here are ten signs that you don’t love him anymore.

Signs that your wife doesn't love you anymore

It is not difficult to understand that your wife has stopped loving you. You just need to observe her behavior, and the picture will form. Signs by which you can determine that your wife no longer loves you:

She stopped respecting you. Your spouse is not interested in what you do in your free time, or she knows about your activities and gets annoyed (for example, you are watching football, and she is annoyed by the voice of the match commentator). She raises her voice at her husband, blames her for her failures, blames him for everything, no matter what you do for her or for the family, and is constantly looking for the cause of the quarrel. Suppresses you as a person, belittling your dignity in every possible way.
Systematic squabbles and scandals. With your appearance at home, irritation and reproaches begin, a scandal ensues, and this happens all the time.
Your spouse began to avoid you. Her range of hobbies has become different from yours, she doesn’t want to go on a visit with you, she meets in a cafe with her friends or friends without a husband. Spends a lot of time outside the home and stays late at work. She does the cleaning or cooking herself and doesn’t ask you for help. He is indifferent to your statements and does not pay attention to you.
She doesn't like being close to you. Sex became rare or stopped altogether. She makes excuses for not feeling well or takes on a passive role. As a rule, a woman in love desires intimacy very often, but in your case she is cold and unapproachable. The caresses and random hugs have disappeared, she doesn’t want your kisses, it’s unpleasant for her to even see her husband.
Pays attention to strangers. This is not necessarily an open glance towards a passing young man. You may notice how in a company, when a stranger pays attention to your spouse, she bursts into a smile and her eyes light up with a mysterious sparkle.

Only she herself can confidently answer this question and only to herself. These signs are in a general direction; each family has its own nuances, and they can also be noticed.

Reasons for the disappearance of feelings

Sometimes a girl who has a partner begins to notice that her feelings are no longer as passionate as before. I want to go on dates, see and hear my lover less often. Such changes are explained by the following reasons:

The woman confused falling in love with love. Feelings flared up suddenly and clouded her mind. But the obsession gradually passed. The partner’s shortcomings immediately became noticeable, a difference in hobbies and worldview was discovered, which rarely benefits the union.
The young man relaxed and stopped caring and paying attention to his chosen one, which radically changed her attitude towards him.
The girl suspects that the guy is flirting with other people. Perhaps with some his game went further than it should. It is unpleasant for her to realize that a man behaves this way and her heart gradually grows cold towards him.
The woman suddenly realizes that she treats her chosen one not as a lover, but as a brother or close friend.
A new man appears around the girl, who immediately arouses her sympathy. Over time, her feelings develop into something more, and her former boyfriend fades into the background.

READ How to behave with a man after a breakup

A girl does not always know how to understand that she has already stopped loving a young man, and why this happened. But the reason needs to be found out so that you can then voice it to your partner when breaking up.

Should I return my spouse?

Deciding what to do in this situation is not as easy as it might seem at first glance from the outside. It depends on many reasons. First of all, you need to calm down and take a time out. Calmly weigh the pros and cons, sort out your feelings for your wife. If you think that you are capable of returning your former love and the game is worth the candle, then you will have to be patient and resort to numerous methods to diversify your family life.

Study your wife’s preferences again, try to learn to predict her desires. There can be no talk of children as a weighty argument for the return of the other half. One side is the microclimate in the family, which has developed against the backdrop of your constant scandals. It is clear that children suffer from this even more than you yourself. In some cases, it is better to break off the relationship so that the children can live in a calm environment.

On the other hand, every person has every right to choose. Maybe you should let your wife go, thereby freeing her and yourself from the constant escalation of the situation and heavy emotional burden, and live separately for some time? It happens that time itself puts everything in its place. There is no point in clinging to a past that has faded into oblivion.

Letting your wife decide for herself how to get out of the situation is a step worthy of a strong man. Maybe after some time she will return to the family, realizing that she was wrong towards you or will become happy in other ways, and you will only benefit from this. There is no definite answer. The best way out is to try to calmly discuss together what really happened and make a final decision that suits both of you.

How to return love - ways out of the situation

The two people involved in the relationship are always to blame for a breakup. It doesn’t happen that your wife just, out of the blue, stopped paying attention to you. In some way, you could have provoked the fading of her feelings. Think about yourself, remember the times when you felt good together and when you had many common topics for discussion, common issues that you easily resolved together. How did you behave then? How did she act?

Analyze the brightest moments of your life together and how they developed. Remember the worst cases you had to endure. Why did this happen? When analyzing, you need to be objective. Step back from the situation and look at it as if from above, without emotions and self-pity. Maybe you have stopped paying enough attention to your wife?

Attention does not lie in flowers and expensive gifts, but in tenderness and care. Feelings are a fragile vessel that is broken by rudeness and an indifferent attitude towards a partner. Maybe you once casually dropped a rude word and thereby offended your wife, without thinking about the consequences. Maybe you just got used to her presence and decided that it will always be like this and she won’t get away from you?