It is very difficult for a woman to understand when her boyfriend wants to end the relationship.
Especially if he is overcome by doubts and does not make final decisions.
In this article we will talk about the unpleasant masculine actions that men commit when they want to end a relationship with their significant other.
He stopped trusting you as a friend
If there is a normal trusting relationship between the spouses, then they always easily discuss any issues. If any decision needs to be made, they will certainly consult with each other.
They are one whole and cannot exist separately. And when trust disappears between loving people, they no longer have common topics for conversation.
The partner begins to distance himself from his beloved. If a man has stopped telling his partner about his affairs, it means that a break in the relationship is not far off.
In his eyes, the woman becomes the person with whom he can no longer be frank.
Now he's angry at you for no reason
Does your boyfriend regularly get angry over the slightest trifle? This is not a good sign. At best, he's fed up with you and your relationship. At worst, you are dealing with an abusive person. Either way, it's time to call it quits.
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He is indifferent to other men paying attention to you
No man can be calm about how someone cares for his beloved. The male half of the population are owners by nature. But if the relationship begins to burden him, then the partner will find a lot of reasons to convict the woman of cheating.
Even if there was no hint of it. This will be the best option for your partner.
After all, he can end the relationship and leave the woman to blame. And if things don’t work out with the new woman, he will be able to “generously” forgive you.
He's aloof
Any show of affection or conversation seems to irritate him, push him away, or make him angry. When a man is ready to break up with you, he literally doesn't want to see you or talk to you, let alone publicly display his feelings. If you've become an obvious source of his irritation, he's probably fed up with having you around.
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He doesn't see a future together with you
When a loved one stops making plans together with you, it means that he has lost interest in you. As soon as a woman starts talking about the future, he tries to quickly change the topic. A man does not see you as his wife. At the moment, it is simply beneficial for him to be with you. The time will come and he will leave.
Psychologists say that as soon as a man loses interest in a future with his wife, divorce is very close.
A loving person always willingly discusses the future and can dream for a long time with his beloved about a happy family and children. It gives him pleasure.
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Aspects of the struggle for a loved one
You can’t be nice by force, says the experience of past generations. But, torn by passions, not everyone is able to take this truth into account. Unable to relieve their mental pain, they continue to live in the past, without losing hope of returning everything. At the same time, in the struggle for a lost lover, ladies sometimes do not skimp on resources. In war, as in war - they think.
The main strategy is usually to ruin his new relationship by showing how much better off he was before. Here is one of the insidious tricks that will not only confuse your ex, but, if successful, will allow you to manipulate the feelings of both him and your rival. To begin with, instead of starting a scandal, take a step towards it, showing miracles of meekness and self-sacrifice.
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Confidently and sincerely tell him how you understand him. And explain that his personal happiness is most important to you. Ask for a farewell romantic dinner, a farewell night. Then about one more. Ask him to be as frank as possible with you about his new hobby - because you are so interested in it!
Make sure that he does not tell his new passion about your high relationship, so as not to hurt her. And then he will most likely make the discovery that your character is simply angelic.
From this moment on, the situation in your love triangle changes to the exact opposite. Now he is no longer cheating on you, but on her - the homewrecker! And not only physically, but also emotionally. After all, you have become his good friend and even moreover, his confidant. Small dirty tricks in the form of lipstick on the collar, the smell of perfume, hair left on the back of the seat and SMS with ambiguous content can be a good catalyst in the beginning of the process.
The emergence of spicy situations in the relationship of a newly formed couple against this background is inevitable. Perhaps they will even develop into “big conversations” with a showdown. However, it is not at all necessary that they will break up and the ex-lover will return to you. But even if the result you want is achieved, the relationship will never be the same.
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They have forever lost their former purity and sincerity. First of all, because you yourself have changed. After all, in the “war” that died down, you were guided mainly not by love, but by a completely different feeling, to which love is one step away. Now you are a bit of a monster, forced to keep “terrible secrets” in your soul. It would seem that now my personal life is organized and my self-esteem is at a sky-high level. But has your dream of personal happiness come true?
At the same time, a number of psychologists believe that active actions on your part are not only not a “dirty thing”, but are even necessary and advisable. Suddenly, on his part, this is really a mistake and his repentance is sincere. Maybe only by this moment the neurons in his brain had developed in such a way that he only now learned to distinguish good from bad at a higher level and appreciate what he simply did not understand before. Like children, you cannot potty train or teach them to read until they reach a certain level of development.
Yes, sometimes time itself puts everything in its place, and all that is required on your part is endurance. And it’s not just that “time heals.” As it progresses, new facets of relationships open up when people, finding themselves in new conditions, get to know each other better. It is during this period that the love boat encounters the prose of everyday life and the strength of the relationship is tested.
Surely you have seen giant inscriptions in white paint on the sidewalks under the windows of houses: Olya! (Tanya, Lena, Lusik, baby, baby, etc.) Forgive me! These are the same cases of attempts to “start over” by those who repented and realized that they had lost their husbands and boyfriends. Only they forget that there are already notches left on the threads of fate - marks of disagreements or betrayals that will still be remembered for the rest of their lives and will leave their mark on the course of future relationships.
Instructions
First, you need to remember that men disappear from your life from time to time. That's their nature. The reason for this phenomenon is the desire to arouse the jealousy of your beloved, in order to once again be convinced of her love and increase your sense of self-worth. That is why it is necessary to find out what is the reason for the current situation. Perhaps you had a fight not long ago, or your relationship has simply stabilized, and the young man just wants a little freedom. Maybe he needs to spend time with his friends only, without you, several times a week. In any case, before drawing conclusions, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation, taking into account all the details.
Often, men tend to say thoughtless words to their significant other. That is why, if during a quarrel you hear the phrase “I don’t love you,” you should not blindly and unconditionally believe it. Most likely, this phrase was said only in a fit of anger, but in fact he does not think so. If he didn't have feelings for you, he would have left a long time ago.
If there has been no warmth, affection and support in your relationship for a long time, you should think about whether there are feelings between you. Of course, if your passion has simply cooled down a little over the years, you can try to “rekindle” it again, but if it simply doesn’t exist, there’s no point in trying. Yes, breaking up is not so easy, but sometimes it is the only way out of the current situation. Just remember that nothing happens by chance in your life. Any parting will definitely be followed by a new meeting.
Before looking for the answer to the question “has a man fallen out of love,” you need to analyze your behavior. Maybe you spend too much time at work and pay little attention to your lover. Do not forget that women by nature tend to dramatize. They can make a big problem out of a small, insignificant quarrel, making a mountain out of a molehill. Of course, any event can cause people to move away, but this does not mean that your relationship is over. In any case, remember, if a man decides to leave, he will definitely inform you about it in a calm atmosphere.
You can understand one thing: when a man leaves forever, he will not contact you, will not answer your calls and messages, maybe even change his phone number and place of residence. Most likely, he will ask his friends not to tell you anything about his existence, he will simply disappear. Your lover’s new relationship can also make you understand that you will never be together again.
He wants to introduce you to his parents
Meeting with parents is a fairly important event, so you should not treat this issue with disdain. This may seem like too much of a challenge for you, as you will be worried about making a good impression. It may also happen that you have been dating a man for only a few weeks, and he suddenly asks to come to dinner and meet his parents.
The situation is quite stressful for you if you are not yet ready for such an important and responsible step.
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His friends know everything about you
When a guy tells his friends about you, it's because he's interested in making your relationship stronger. He is proud to have you. And this man is definitely not one of those who will hide his relationship.
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However, everything changes when you find out that your friends know not only about your existence, but also many details about you personally. He talked about what hairstyle you wore on the first date, the name of your pet, and much more.
The difference between a temporary crisis and a real threat
The same signs can manifest themselves in different ways. By the level of alienation, closedness and aggression, one can distinguish an ordinary crisis that everyone goes through from the end of a relationship. You can understand that a man wants to break up by the following characteristics of his behavior:
- Avoiding physical contact. Their decrease occurs naturally if the connection lasts for a long time. But aggressive reluctance to even hug, touch or be nearby is a signal of the inevitable end. Such disgust is not temporary, it only intensifies over the years. Perhaps the reason for the indifference was his mistress.
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- Irritation over little things. The sound of a partner's voice, his small habits, behavior in everyday life - all this can irritate even a loved one. It is worth considering that the individual’s need for solitude is natural. Having your own private space is an unaffordable luxury for most. It is not available on the street or in the office. All that remains is the house. Therefore, violation of boundaries even by a loved one in the evening can be annoying. It is advisable to understand this need and leave each other alone for a while. But if the girl you once loved always irritates you, that’s the end. Partners rarely become worse in a relationship. All the disadvantages were there before them, and falling in love justified them or did not notice them.
- Quarreling. This way of dealing with relationships is forgivable for choleric people or those who grew up in a temperamental family. A couple who, after a quarrel, rushes to make peace just as vigorously, is in love and happy. An imminent breakup is indicated by nitpicking about the main character traits of the partner, about any of his behavior or appearance. It is worth stopping this kind of bullying as quickly as possible, because it destroys self-esteem, and it takes years to restore the psychological core.
- Mismatch of goals. Common goals are the basis of a relationship that binds a couple together stronger than feelings, sex and habit. Sometimes the discrepancy is caused by a personality crisis of the other half. It is necessary to wait for a person to make up his mind and find his ground. And if views, goals, dreams and lifestyles differ radically, then this leads to the collapse of a romantic union. It’s worth taking a closer look, perhaps there are complete strangers in the relationship. Staying close forever in this case can destroy each other's dreams and destinies.
He just ended a previous relationship but wants to move on
Some people are serious monogamists. This is completely normal, but the problem arises when your boyfriend has just ended his previous relationship, but is ready to move on. Moreover, he wants to do it very quickly.
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The guy wants to immediately define your relationship so that he can again feel the level of security and stability he requires, that is, everything that he lost with his ex.
The downside is that he can convince you of his love and devotion, and a moment later talk about the betrayal of his ex and his difficult relationship with her.
What to do if you don't want to break up
Before humbly leaving, it is important to analyze your own emotions and needs, to comprehend yourself separately from the object of love. Having made a decision, you need to act judiciously and gently. Problem Analysis
You should understand why it is difficult to let go of your chosen one. It's not always about love. A woman is afraid to end a relationship because:
- emotionally attached, accustomed;
- regrets wasted years;
- afraid of humiliation, deterioration of self-esteem (a wounded ego can depress for years);
- financially dependent (especially for wives who have been housewives for a long time);
- feels guilty for ruining the child’s happy childhood;
- Because of low self-esteem, he blames only himself for adversity.
If the reason is love, then it is important to understand the influence of selfishness. The need to be near the object of adoration is selfish, because you can love far from your chosen one. True feeling involves the ability to enjoy the successes, victories and happiness of your other half, even when he is not around. The physical inability to be far from the object of adoration signals emotional dependence. Such attachment passes, you just need to go through the “withdrawal”.
An addiction that lasts for many years is an indicator of a possible psychological problem. The roots of such a disorder are far from love. It is better to consult a psychologist.
Having understood the reasons, it is important to comprehend 2 more points:
- It can be more comfortable at a distance than near an irritated or indifferent partner. It’s worth imagining such a prospect, imagining it. You can imagine a free life, hobbies and a potential chosen one. A new person can unexpectedly bring more warmth and happiness than the one to whom an attachment has formed.
- Having decided to keep your loved one, you need to understand that you will always have to achieve him. Such a step is rarely a one-time step and leads to a stable effect. You'll have to be alert and on edge. It's endless work. He is accompanied by suspicion, uncertainty, and constant doubts. It is worth fighting if the feelings are true and not painful, and the man is a spiritually close and worthy person.
Changes in appearance
Dramatic changes can frighten the chosen one. He was once captivated by the appearance of his current lover. Psychologists recommend recreating your previous appearance, working on natural beauty, and emphasizing your own highlights. Guys prefer that their beloved remains the same as they saw her for the first time, or at least changes minimally.
Health is a necessary component of beauty. It is not recommended to destroy it with tedious diets. It is enough to set aside time for sports and switch to a more natural diet. Sleep, self-love, walks and comfort ensure a blooming appearance. Exhaustion, fatigue, illness are difficult to eliminate with cosmetics, surgeries and other extreme solutions. You can update your wardrobe. Working on your bright, free personality and good health is the main goal. These are features of youth and happiness. They are admired and people of both sexes are drawn to them. What to change in yourself
Guys appreciate understanding, cozy and soft women. If a man wants to break up, it is imperative to behave in such a way that he feels touching care. It is advisable to show tenderness not only in everyday life, but also through touches, compliments, romantic and sexual surprises. In addition, you should:
- support the interests of your loved one: do not reproach him for watching football or playing games, but give him little things related to these hobbies (snacks, a new mouse);
- become a friend: listen, accept, be sincerely interested;
- give freedom: men like affectionate but unobtrusive love that leaves personal space.
Straight Talk
Scandals, reproaches, the desire to arouse pity will only increase the gap between partners. If there are no tremulous feelings, the guy is tired and wants to escape, then he will not feel pity and pricks of conscience, but will be filled with irritation. To change your lover’s attitude towards yourself, you will have to change yourself. And you need to start with a sincere, calm dialogue.
Quarrels and tears are inappropriate in this situation. Restraint, solid and dignified behavior will impress a man more. You can arrange a cozy romantic meeting. But there is no need to wait for quick understanding and return of feelings. Due to high expectations, already during the conversation the resentment will become unbearable. It is better to be prepared for a long struggle for love. But such a “battle” does not mean the use of manipulation and lies. Your partner will feel it. We need honesty without embellishment.
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Help from friends
The presence of a common company between the couple and the approval of the chosen one by the man’s close friends influence his attitude towards his other half. It’s worth actively but unobtrusively appearing in this circle, being cheerful and pleasant. Causing jealousy is an ineffective method, but the admiration of others and the girl’s ability to be an important, pleasant member of the company elevates her in the eyes of her partner. He will quietly be proud and admire such an attractive woman. How to behave if a breakup is inevitable
Don't be a victim. Self-sacrifice and complete loss of oneself look pitiful and do not evoke sympathy or admiration. It is important to preserve your personality, because it is more valuable than relationships. If self-hypnosis does not work, you can go to a psychologist.
You can't impose. Calls and excessive control will push a guy away. It is undesirable to cover up intrusiveness with chance (pretend that you mixed up the number, or unexpectedly ran into someone). This will scare you away and will be perceived as a restriction of freedom.
You need to make time for yourself. The body needs to “get over it.” Anything that destroys self-esteem and humiliates will remain a depressing memory. To let go while “saving face,” you need to give your feelings time. If you have the strength, then you should find a hobby that will be unexpected even for yourself. You cannot offer your loved one friendship, because if you have great feelings, it will be difficult to maintain such a balance.
You can determine a man’s indifference by his obvious inattention and aggression. It is impossible to justify such unreasonable rudeness, so it is better to directly discuss the problem.
