Some people are characterized by naivety, which can be called childish. They remain open throughout their lives. But there are also individuals who prefer to keep their distance even from loved ones. You can also meet people who don’t trust anyone. Naturally, in some cases you should not open your inner world. After all, there are those who can use the information received.
When you learn another lesson from life, you can simply close down. And then the question arises: how can you trust a person if he is capable of striking at any moment? This is exactly what will be discussed in this review.
Honesty
Emotional openness is extremely important in long-term relationships: it is a sign of a trusting and mature partner. When he trusts you with his feelings, what should you pay special attention to?
A reliable partner shares deep thoughts with you, tells you about his various fears, dreams, plans, thereby reciprocating your openness. Moreover, he doesn't try to look cooler or be someone better: he lacks hypocrisy. You need a person who is honest with himself.
Also, your partner will not pretend that everything is fine with him when he is not. He sees no shame in being sensitive in some situations, as talking about these emotions can improve positive thinking and help overcome problems. This kind of emotional honesty strengthens young people.
What is the reason?
It is necessary to understand why distrust of people in general arose. Whose integrity do you doubt? Perhaps everyone you know is distrustful, or maybe only men or women. Or there is a certain group of people.
In most cases, a person closes down because of a sad experience, because of some event that he cannot forget about. Memories regularly make themselves felt, causing pain and causing mistrust of certain people. In this situation, it is worth understanding that unpleasant events are usually associated with one person, and not with all acquaintances as a whole. And, in principle, you shouldn’t expect any trick from them.
Listening skills
Communication is an important point that speaks about the authenticity of your relationship. Is it possible to have a heart-to-heart talk with him? Is he looking forward to meeting you so he can share what happened that day? The fact that he trusts you with such information once again shows his openness and reliability.
A reliable partner is also a good listener. How does he react to your problems and difficulties? Does he listen to you, thereby showing his respect? If he does not shy away from questions and is open to communication, it is clear that he has nothing to hide.
How do you know if a person is trustworthy?
1. Personal communication is the most informative.
Scientists have found that if participants are allowed to chat for half an hour before the game, the trustor becomes able to predict the trustworthiness of the trustee quite accurately. In half an hour you can learn a lot about a person: hear how he talks, observe body language, facial expressions and behavior and draw conclusions.
2. Gestures are more informative than speech.
The researchers decided to test what would happen if the trustor simply observed the trustee's communication with another person. In other words, will he be able to determine reliability without making personal contact?
The experiments were conducted under two conditions: half of the trustors watched a video of the trustee with sound, and the other half watched without sound. In both cases, trustors predicted the trustee's trustworthiness quite accurately. Thus, it is the body language that matters, not the words.
3. You can tell a lot about a person from a photograph.
, if the photo is not too bright and in it we see only the person’s face. The less detail in the photo, the better.
Scientists were interested in the following question: can a trustee predict a person’s reliability just from his photograph? This is where the fun begins. If trustors saw color photographs of trustees that showed their clothes and hairstyle, they were less likely to predict trustworthiness than if they were shown a close-up of the face (only the eyes, nose, and mouth) and the image was black and white and dim. .
How can a smaller amount of information (a small, dim, black and white photograph) lead to more accurate conclusions than a larger amount of information (a full-length, detailed, color photograph)? The conclusion is obvious: too bright colors and numerous details distract from the main thing. This is the face, namely the eyes and mouth, which reflect the emotional state.
A dim image forces the viewer to rely on intuition, while clear images suggest a more rational approach.
***
Intuition is more reliable than a rational approach in making social decisions. If you don't have time to get more information about a person, trust your intuition. It's better than nothing.
But don't ignore contextual cues, such as sentences that sound too good to be true. Fools never die, says the old proverb. But you don't have to become one of them.
Conclusion
Trust is crucial in any relationship. Its absence indicates a shaky and unhappy relationship that will not stand the test of time. If you don't feel safe with the person you trust with your life, it's time to reconsider your decision to stay with him.
Of course, some small elements related to trust can be discussed with your partner in a calm environment. By discussing these issues in a timely manner, you can change your relationship for the better. Perhaps thanks to this approach you will be able to become closer to each other!
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Look into the eyes of your interlocutor
At the very beginning of the conversation, look the person straight in the eye. The look should not be ingratiating or, conversely, aggressive. The usual neutral look with a bit of interest. This result is best achieved if you try to determine the color of a person's eyes.
@photo Let's say your interlocutor has blue eyes. Now determine a more precise shade while continuing to communicate. During the dialogue, do not look away for long, but do not “pressure” with constant close study. The worst option is a shifting gaze; it creates a feeling of nervousness and/or an inattentive listener.
Willingness to take responsibility
Of course, we all make mistakes. But it is important to try to see at an early stage of the relationship whether maturity is inherent in the partner. In other words, is he able to take responsibility for his mistakes? If he makes a mistake, does he admit it? Or does he shift the blame to someone else?
An unreliable partner may try to tell you lies. Don't get close to such a person. He may use the following phrases: “You made me do it! How was I supposed to know? If you had... Next time you should...” What does this approach mean? About the lack of humility and unwillingness to admit one’s mistakes. Such a person is too hot-tempered and still young to start a family.
Yes, in many situations more than one person is to blame. But it does mean that you both must be willing to admit your fault, take responsibility for your problems, and work together to prevent them from happening again.
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Capacity for sincere admiration
“Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen to you for hours,” Dale Carnegie.
Master communicators make every interaction enjoyable and engaging because they remind others of their strengths—the very characteristics that people may have come to take for granted.
Such interlocutors help you look at yourself in a new way and think about your own uniqueness. You want to experience this pleasant feeling again and again, so people are always happy to meet them.
Advice:
Instead of convincing others of your own importance, show interest in your interlocutors and do not spare sincere kind words addressed to them.
Calm
This point seems to continue the previous one. How does your partner react when you briefly hold their phone in your hands? Anyone who has nothing to hide will not see anything bad in this. But someone who cannot be trusted will behave in strange ways. For example, getting annoyed, snatching your phone or changing passwords. Will you feel confident with such a person? If not, is it worth connecting your life with him?
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Young people may expect each other to be open, but they won't be obsessed with it. After all, you have every right to confidential information, and therefore should not be subject to constant intrusive intrusion.
Lack of selfishness and excessive ambition
If, for example, at work everyone is working on a common project, but only one employee takes credit, he is definitely not suitable for the role of a reliable partner. A decent person never tries to attract undue attention to himself, steal someone's ideas, or minimize someone's contribution to the common cause. He is moderately ambitious, but devoid of egoism.
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True to your word
Another important quality of charming people is that they do not waste words.
Many express their readiness to help, however, when real action is required, they answer: “I would really like to, but...”
Pleasant people don't do this - if they promise something, you can trust their words. So if they say, “We should meet up and have lunch sometime,” they'll likely contact you within a week to set up a suitable date.
It's nice to be true to your word. Noticing this, others sometimes adopt their approach.
Advice:
Don't make promises that you can't keep, and fulfill what you once agreed on.
Information filtering
A person's degree of trust is determined by what they say. You can be quite sociable, but only give people the information they deserve. This is a normal stage of building relationships, which usually ends happily. Often people themselves are to blame for becoming a victim of betrayal, because initially they opened up too quickly to a person who does not deserve trust.
So who can we open our souls to in our time? Of course, to loved ones. Family members do not deserve suspicion and mistrust, even if they once let you down. A person has the right to make mistakes, but this is not a reason to put him on the list of deceivers and scoundrels without any particular reason. Parents, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives are the people you can trust without unnecessary suspicion. You should be wary of trusting friends, but they often turn out to be decent people. You can't always be suspicious of people, otherwise you might end up alone forever. However, in our time it is undesirable to be frank with unfamiliar people.
Opinions on the topic of faith and trust in people
Greetings dear wanderers! Have you often thought about whether you are doing the right thing in trying to believe or trust? Several experienced and worthy people helped prepare this journey for me, who expressed different opinions on this topic and this is what happened:
Content
- Clean coin
- Friend and foe
- Husband and wife
- Business
- Summary
Clean coin
When you take everything said at face value, there is a possibility that in the near future you will grow ears like a donkey. Believing anything and everything, without studying the facts and documentary options, is like jumping out of a plane with an umbrella when you were only assured of its reliability.
Checking the accuracy of this or that information is the personal right of each of us, the main thing is whether we are ready for it and whether we need it at all.
Often they try to convince us of something completely useless and of no interest to our lives, and in this case it makes sense to think about why this is being done. Most likely, this way we can protect ourselves from selfish actions on the part of the narrator.
Friend and foe
Who do you think will deceive faster, the enemy or the best friend? Absolutely right - with a high probability, the lie of a friend is more likely to overtake than the deception of an enemy. There is no point for the enemy to mislead you, unless this is a war between states.
The enemy acts with the open goal of harming or destroying, why should he deceive, you already know his intentions. That is why, when we trust the people closest to us, we often find ourselves deceived and then suffer and worry.
But we cannot live without trust in a friend, otherwise we will never have friends. And if it happened that he did such an act towards you, it means that he is not a friend at all and never was. Let go and forget this person...
Husband and wife
Trust between spouses is an important component for a strong family and everyday life. Of course, very often people break up not even two months after the wedding, and mistrust, or rather unreasonable jealousy, plays a huge role in this.
But jealousy is not when you think that your significant other is going to the left. Jealousy is, first of all, a low self-esteem when we begin to think that someone may be better than us and therefore our beloved may cheat.
The conclusion follows from this: you should always trust your partner, but you should trust each other completely and become husband and wife only when you are definitely ready to live and raise common children for the rest of your life. For now, just walk and enjoy your freedom.
Business
Faith and trust in business are incompatible concepts, but very vital. The question is what kind of business you are doing and whether it is legal or not.
In criminal schemes, everything is built on concepts, by the way, in which, for example, among the old-style thieves in law, deceiving or otherwise “throwing” was considered a grave offense. True, there were practically no gullible people in this environment.
There is a clear answer - in any business, both believing and trusting will be a careless act.
On my own behalf, I will add to this opinion about the role of coaches and trainers of all stripes in self-development and turning you into super people, I recommend visiting the excursion “How can I benefit from coaching trainings.” There is everything there that will allow you to understand and make the right decision.
Summary
You see, friends, examples of these opinions say one thing: you should definitely believe and trust people! This is correct and undoubtedly indicates the high degree of our dignity.
The only thing you need to do is not make thoughtless conclusions and, as the wise saying goes, do the following:
Trust but check! You and everything you have created will be more whole...
I thank everyone for participating in this modest walk and look forward to your stories about yourself or friends who played some important role in life. Perhaps for some of us it will be a lifeline in the ocean of life.
Remind yourself that you are the Brand of your personality with each new awakening - this is the essence of your strength
Until we meet again, worthy wanderers!
Sincerity
Finding a sincere and real person who does not play a role or put on a mask is like finding a needle in a haystack. Naturalness in the modern world is a great luxury, since everyone mainly thinks about their own well-being and plays some role for this. However, a sincere person is immediately visible. When he gives a compliment, it feels like he does it from the bottom of his heart. You can read his admiration in his eyes, while a hypocritical person can praise everyone, but envy and hatred will be read in his eyes.
Pose
Don't slouch. We recently wrote about how much posture can say about a person. When communicating, stand up straight. Not at attention, just smoothly, naturally. This significantly increases the level of trust. The second point - do not try to take up as little space as possible, do not crowd. A calm and confident person stands (or sits) in a way that is comfortable for him, in a familiar position. Do not touch your face with your hands too often, do not wring your fingers, do not hide your hands in your pockets, try to keep them in sight.
Chameleon Man.
In different situations, different environments, he demonstrates an uneven and sometimes opposite attitude towards others. By the way, how does he behave towards people of different status? Perhaps at work he curries favor with his superiors, but, on the contrary, is arrogant with his subordinates. And also what is his attitude towards service sector employees (waiters, maids, taxi drivers)? He is rude and arrogant. How does he behave with strangers? He smiles insincerely with all thirty-two teeth.
Who to trust?
Have you ever wondered how often during the day you have to trust someone: from your closest friends to the bus driver who takes you to school or work; from family members to the health care provider to whom you come for treatment and whose prescriptions you accept with confidence? How to choose who to trust and who not?
I decided to check how Ushakov’s explanatory dictionary defines this word. So, “trust” is “conviction in someone’s honesty, decency; faith in the sincerity and integrity of someone.” All these definitions do not appear overnight. And if we trust our secrets to every new acquaintance, then we will very quickly become disappointed in people and are unlikely to want to trust anyone else.
How do you know who you can trust and who you can’t?
There were people in my life who came brightly, but after a couple of difficult situations when I needed help, they disappeared just as quickly. At first glance, it is difficult to identify people you can rely on. And there is no other reliable way to be sure of a person except personal communication and observation of him. You can decide whether to trust or not by checking whether a person has the following qualities:
- Subsequence. In other words, look to see if a person says one thing in the morning and another in the evening, and whether he changes his decisions. A person with such habits can hardly be called reliable.
- Honesty.
- Responsibility. Trust is earned by those who complete what they start, respect other people's time and work, and take their responsibilities seriously.
- The ability to keep your word.
- Respect for other people. A reliable person does not try to impose his opinion on others.
- Unselfishness. You can expect anything from a person obsessed with profit. It is difficult to find an absolutely unselfish person, but if the thirst for profit comes first for him - run!
Trust but observe
If you want to find a worthy life partner, you should look at his character.
A couple of years ago, when I was not yet married, I decided to write a list of essential qualities that my future husband would have. For example, he had to have such qualities as love for children, respect for the elderly, the ability not to be afraid of difficulties, attention to my feelings, neat appearance, etc. When guys showed attention to me, I looked at my list and their behavior . Thank God for this wise method! When someone seemed to go through the list of qualities, except for 2 - 3 points, I realized that they were “not mine,” and after a while they disappeared on their own. Imagine my happiness when my future husband ticked all the boxes at the beginning of our communication. In other words, friends, firstly, make an effort, work to see this choice, and secondly, try to check its correctness.
Trust, but watch!
Naturally, no person can avoid all mistakes and predict difficulties. It is important to remember that it costs absolutely nothing to stop and give up.
Confidence
Maybe then we should take the word “trust” literally? Trust is what we had before faith. The path of mistakes and the search for meaning in this life. The search comes at the cost of falls and painful injuries. And it is joyful that the result of this search for many is the discovery of God. Because even if there is no person nearby whom you can trust without fear, peace and joy are instilled in your heart - after all, our trust is placed in Him. And this means - not only health and money, but life itself to entrust to God. Our security, our desires, our fears have no place when a good God becomes the center of life.
Sometimes you watch the news and it’s scary. After all, troubles can easily come into our lives. But the Lord says in the Bible to all who trust in Him: “Fear not, for I am with you; do not be troubled, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, and help you, and uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness” (Bible, Isaiah 41:10). Why does He have such a desire, you ask? Because the loving Lord, Who created the whole world for us, wants to see us happy today. So let us trust Him. This is what God expects from everyone today.
Yana Melikbekyan
"7D format" October 2020
126 views
Reconsider your values
If a person has deceived you so many times that it no longer seems wrong to you, it is time to reconsider your values. Maintain your self-esteem, be prepared to get rid of relationships with those people who do not care about you and your well-being.
Value trust. If a person doesn't live up to your expectations, just stop communicating with him. Don't blame him for anything. Your expectations are your responsibility. Just strive to surround yourself with worthy people, there are such people and there are quite a lot of them.
Photo: Pixabay
