7 women's mistakes, why a man doesn't want to communicate

Almost every person faces communication problems at different times in their lives. Most often, such questions worry children, because they are the ones who perceive everything that happens as emotionally as possible and such situations can develop into a real drama. And if for a child asking questions is a simple task, then for mature people it is not customary to talk about this out loud, and the absence of friends significantly affects a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem. To solve a problem, you need to admit its existence and say to yourself: “Yes, I have no friends, people don’t want to communicate with me.” Now you can begin to resolve the current situation. Almost every person asks himself sooner or later the question of why people don’t want to communicate with me.

What is the essence of friendship?

It’s worth starting with the fact that friendship is, first of all, a relationship between at least two people. It is not subject to any laws; no one sets rules that are standard for everyone. All habits and rules of communication are born in the process and are developed as a result of prolonged communication. But in order to start communicating with a person, you need at least a mutual desire; it also doesn’t hurt to have common interests, values and aspirations. Quite often, people have problems establishing contacts in their work teams. People wonder why my colleagues don't want to communicate with me. You can find a lot of answers and you don’t have to look for the reason in yourself. Envy may take place here; this problem especially often arises among people who have just arrived at a new position.

Why don't you want to communicate with a person?

Sometimes it happens that you don’t really want to communicate even with interesting and educated personalities. What could be the reason? In fact, there are a lot of options, but the most common can be considered the following: an unpleasant appearance, disrespectful attitude towards other people, reluctance to make contact with a person, inability to communicate and behave appropriately, as well as fear of friendship and communication with others. If you think why no one wants to communicate with me, then the first step towards solving the problem has been taken.

Signs of lack of sexual desire

To understand whether this problem really exists in a relationship, you need to monitor the changes that have occurred with the young man. If a guy says he doesn't want sex, a girl's anxiety about this is understandable. But not every partner will directly talk about their problems in their intimate life and share them with their significant other. You can guess that there is a problem sexually if you pay attention to the following signs:

The partner becomes less interested during intimacy.
The man is irritated and reluctant to make contact in bed.
He doesn't enjoy the process.
After sex, the guy is in a bad mood or immediately falls asleep without even saying a few pleasant words to his partner.

With age, men, like women, become less active in their sexual lives. This is considered normal. If you have been married for many years, there is no reason to panic when a man stops paying great attention to the intimate side of the relationship. If your couple has just formed, and you are already saying to yourself: “The guy doesn’t want me,” it’s worth starting to understand the reasons for this behavior.

How to deal with the problem?

If no one wants to communicate with me, does that mean I'm the problem? Not at all necessary. A person’s appearance and behavior can be considered the basis for building communication, but these two factors will not get you far. And if you can put up with an unpleasant appearance, but someone doesn’t pay attention to it at all, then if a person acts ugly towards other people, there is already reason to think about it. And a person is often judged by his friends. As for appearance, many characteristics that are strictly individual matter here. This may include deviations in height or weight from the norm, unkempt clothing, or an unpleasant odor. These problems, in principle, can be easily and quickly eliminated. So just keep yourself tidy, don’t forget to brush your teeth, eat right, and so on. If this is the only problem, then after you put yourself in order, the road to full communication may open. But don’t think that the attitude of others towards you will change as if by magic. Friendship can be lost in a split second, but it takes years to build. Usually, after resolving the issue with appearance, a period of adaptation begins, when those around you begin to realize the changes and show a desire to make contact.

Why does a guy avoid me: the most common reasons

Reasons related to you:

Perhaps you asked your martyr for some service that he did not want to provide (shelter your mother, castrate the cat, fix the faucet in the bathroom, etc.), and now you are hiding so as not to fulfill what you promised?
Were there any quarrels between you? Perhaps the man is offended by you.
Didn't you go to the bachelorette party? If you were walking, wasn’t it too good?
Have you started talking about marriage? If they started him, then the guy could well be scared.
Didn't you make him happy with two stripes? He could have run away too.

Look at yourself from the outside. There may be something about your appearance or behavior that turns him off. Read this article carefully. In it we have collected everything that makes a negative impression on guys.

Guys love with their eyes. In order to always remain in the center of his attention, you need to take care of yourself. In particular, watch your figure. In this article we will talk about which figure men like most.

Another possible reason is that you told him something wrong and didn’t even notice it. Here is a detailed list of everything you should never say to men.

Here are a few feminine qualities that guys like the most. Develop and demonstrate them. This will definitely attract his attention.

Reasons not related to you:

The most prosaic thing is that the guy has lost interest in you. Now you can try to regain interest, but, as a rule, this does not work, so it is best to forget about the guy. Because this man is clearly not yours.
There is a girl, a wife. Perhaps the guy decided to have a little fun while his beloved was away, and now he ignores you, because... the missus returned home. Should I get involved in family relationships? We don't recommend it. On the one hand, I feel sorry for his girlfriend, but on the other, maybe she doesn’t want to know anything? Such a man may periodically appear in your life, saying that he left his spouse/fiancée/girlfriend, but you should not believe the traitor.
An ex-girlfriend has returned: as soon as a woman appears on the horizon, the ex-girlfriend is right there. Your Action: Forget about this guy. He is weak-willed if he constantly returns to the river, which he has entered more than once. But you need a man, not a puppy.

If a friend suddenly begins to avoid communication: does not answer calls and does not appear on the Internet, do not rush to panic. Perhaps an emergency situation has arisen: the neighbors upstairs flooded, a broken arm, urgent work, etc. Don't worry: wait two to three days.

Useful video on the topic:

What if the problem is deeper?

Why don’t they want to communicate with me if the main problems have been resolved? Things are much more complicated when the problem with communication is associated with psychological complexes. First of all, it is an inferiority complex. There is only one way out, to realize that you are an exceptional person, thereby increasing your self-esteem and simply learning to love yourself. However, this process takes a lot of time; most likely, you will have to seek help not only from specialized literature, but also undergo some training or get advice from a specialist. But you will never regret the time and money spent, because self-development is quite an exciting activity, it is a process that can change a person literally beyond recognition. Friendship is work, it is mutual obligations, something more than simple friendships. Some people have a problem such as the fear of taking on this responsibility or the fear of being deceived or betrayed by another person. People are afraid to take risks, don't trust anyone around them, and can't open up to another person the way friendship requires. Therefore, the question of why people don’t want to communicate with me is a very pressing one. The ability to build healthy relationships with others is one of the most important tasks of a person.

Women's mistakes that lead to relationship breakdowns

The banal phrase “It’s not about you, it’s about me” is often far from reality. A man will not abandon an ideal woman who is completely satisfied; on the contrary, he will do everything possible to be close to her. If a young man suddenly disappears, think about whether you made serious mistakes . These may include:

Forcing events. You’ve only sat in a cafe a couple of times, and you’re already coming up with names for your children together and telling them that you’d like to invite Aunt Klava from Germany to the wedding. The man is not yet thinking about something serious, so such activity scares him.
Behavior that a man considers wrong. For example, you drink a lot, smoke, or your speech contains obscenities. It’s easier for him to immediately reject such a girl than to try to re-educate her.
Quick sex. If a guy drags you into bed too quickly, for example, on the first date, then his ardor may simply fade away. And why does he need a girl who is ready to have sex with a virtual stranger for a serious relationship?

Here are the main female mistakes that a girl makes at the very beginning, risking losing a man.

READ How to behave with a man after a breakup

What should I do if people don’t want to communicate with me?

Psychologists say that most of their patients are concerned with questions about friendship. They often come with questions about whether people don’t want to be friends with me, why this happens and what can be done about it. Yes, it happens. There are a huge number of books, films, and trainings in the world that can help you understand the problem of communicating with other people. Psychologists recommend listening to the following four tips. You should learn to control your “body language”, keep track of time, be able not only to listen, but also to arouse interest in yourself. So, let's take a closer look at each of the tips. It is imperative to figure out why people don’t want to communicate with me, first of all for my own good.

How to teach a man to listen to you

It may also be that a man thinks that he communicates with us quite enough, while it will seem to us that he does not notice or hear us at all. The same notorious difference in our psychologies! Instead of nagging your boyfriend or making dramatic gestures, it's better to just teach him to listen. There are some great ways to do this.

Think about what and how to say

Never resort to whining. Most men automatically turn off their attention as soon as they hear a woman’s whiny voice. What tone of your voice attracts your boyfriend's attention the most? Always talk to him in this tone!
Don't speak too loudly or forcefully. Don't resort to verbal attacks to get a man's attention, they really don't like it.
Don't beat around the bush. By the time you get to the point, he will no longer listen to what you say.

Listen to a man when he talks to you

In some cases, we ourselves are to blame for the fact that they don’t want to listen to us. If we never listen to what a man says, then he may quite reasonably think, why should I listen to her?

Do you pay attention to him when he wants to talk to you? Do you stop washing the dishes, reading a book, or watching TV in order to listen carefully to the guy?
Do you only want to talk about certain topics? Does it happen that he is very excited, for example, about an incident at his work or a successful solution when repairing a car, and you are bored listening and interrupt him? Your man will perceive this attitude as a lack of interest in himself, and he will begin to avoid communicating with you.

Find the right time to solve problems

When you talk about a problem, never get personal. If you feel like your boyfriend isn't listening to you, don't tell him, “You never listen to me,” instead say, “I don't think you're listening to me, and I'd like to talk about it.”

Talk about your feelings in a quiet, comfortable environment. You don’t want him to feel threatened and begin to prepare for a defensive defense, do you?
Start the conversation by saying that you really love and appreciate him. Explain that you feel that you are unable to effectively share your feelings and thoughts with him.
Ask him to make suggestions on how the quality of your communication could be improved. Find a common solution that will help strengthen your partnership.

Body control

It will not be amiss to observe gestures, body movements, and so on. When you're chatting with your friend, be sure to watch for signs that the other person isn't enjoying the conversation. If you've noticed this, your job is not to complicate matters by annoying your friend. Maybe it’s not even about you at all, but about external factors, but the impression of the meeting will be spoiled and in the future you may begin to be perceived as a person from whom it is quite difficult to get rid of. If you learn to pick up hints that your interlocutor wants to end the conversation, then people will perceive you more easily. For example, during a conversation your friend looks at his watch too often or answers in monosyllabic sentences, instead of showing interest and going into detail. It seems that he is in a hurry somewhere. This means one thing: it’s time to end the conversation and let the person go about his business. Psychologists also recommend taking note of such a “trick” as the position of the feet. Yes, yes, this is not nonsense at all, experts are sure that if they are directed away from you, this only means that your interlocutor would not mind leaving the meeting place faster and going on about his business. Why don't people want to communicate with me? Perhaps the problem lies precisely in the inability to conduct dialogue.

Why can a guy suddenly break off a relationship?

If a guy stops calling and texting and doesn’t answer calls himself, it’s not at all necessary that the fault lies with the woman. Often this behavior is characteristic of people with a certain character:

Cold and unemotional. He does not realize that his behavior causes pain, he does not experience serious love in the relationship, he does not care how it ends.
Manipulator. Such a person leaves in the midst of a relationship in order to achieve certain concessions from a woman - more freedom, expensive gifts, obedience. Another reason is the reluctance to fulfill the woman’s requests. For example, she asks to give her at least part of the salary or starts talking about the birth of a child, so the man disappears so that she comes to her senses. After her lover crosses the threshold of the house again 2 days later, the woman will completely forget about her unreasonable desires.
Infantile. He leaves suddenly and without warning because he doesn't know how to say it. It's like a little child: I got tired - I left.
Coward. He is afraid to look a woman in the eyes and tell the truth, so he prefers to simply hide and never appear on the horizon again. He is afraid to take responsibility for a woman; he wants easy and non-binding meetings.

If a guy suddenly stopped communicating with you and simply disappeared for no apparent reason, this is not normal. Thank fate that it so quickly took such an unreliable person away from you, and do not look for meetings with him anymore.

Other reasons for stopping communication

When a woman is not to blame, and the characters described do not at all fit the description of her lover, it is worth looking for the reason elsewhere.

Why did he stop writing?

If you just communicated with a guy via the Internet for a long time, and then he simply stopped writing and responding to messages, then this can be explained by the following reasons:

Force Majeure. For example, a man had to leave urgently, but there was no way to warn about this, or he simply did not attach any importance to it. Or maybe his network simply disappeared (thunderstorm, rain, power outage, forgot to pay for operator services).
I realized the pointlessness. If a guy hinted several times about dating in person, but did not receive consent, then he began to worry about the refusal and realized that he was not interested in you as a partner, and your correspondence would lead nowhere.
I found a more interesting pen pal or a girl in real life, after which I decided to stop corresponding with you.
I realized that you are deceiving. For example, you sent him a photo, but it turned out to be from the Internet, or you said that you don’t have a lover, but on a social network you posted a photo of yourself kissing a guy.
Being stuck at work or school. There is no free time to even open a social network, not to mention long conversations.

These are the most common reasons if a man suddenly stops writing on social networks and does not respond to your messages. If the reason is not force majeure, which will become clear in a few days, then stop pestering the guy with your messages and cut him out of your life.

After sex

If a man suddenly stopped communicating immediately after the first sex, this means that he most likely did not consider you for a serious relationship. The reasons for the disappearance in this case may be the following:

I only needed sex from you;
considered you as a mistress, but did not suit him in bed;
considered for a long-term relationship, but was disappointed due to the fact that she quickly gave up;
I didn’t like my behavior in bed: for example, I laughed when I saw a small penis, or I pretended to have an orgasm too much.

Although men want to get a girl into bed faster, this does not mean that they will offer to date after the first sex. Few people are ready to consider an easily accessible woman as a life partner.

Shortly before the wedding

The most painful and unpleasant thing for a girl is when a guy disappears shortly before such a bright holiday as a wedding. You have already formed clear plans for your future life, invitations have been sent out to guests, a restaurant and a dress have been chosen, but suddenly your partner stops communicating and it is impossible to find him. This behavior may occur for the following reasons:

The groom was afraid of responsibility. This often happens when a woman or her parents insist on a wedding, and also when a girl finds out about pregnancy, after which the guy has only 2 options - to be a scoundrel or to propose marriage. He chooses the second option, but realizes that he doesn't want it.
I met another girl and realized that I didn’t really love my fiancée.
He cheated, for example, on a bachelor party, now he is ashamed to even talk about it. He considers himself the last scoundrel who is unworthy of such a beautiful woman.
I found out about a girl’s betrayal and cannot forgive her for it.

If there was no quarrel between you, but your loved one suddenly disappears, then you need to find him and find out the reason for this behavior. Perhaps it is still possible to fix everything, resume the relationship and have a wedding.

Control your time

Sometimes during a conversation it happens that our perception of time gets confused. Especially when a person is nervous and drowns in incoherent verbosity, while such behavior goes unnoticed, since the concept of time is lost. If this is your first time talking to someone, treat it like you would a press interview and prepare in a similar way. You can practice with anyone, with a friend, with your family. Imitate communication when you first meet and don’t be lazy to time your speeches. Your task is to intuitively determine when your monologue lasts 30 seconds and when it lasts a minute or more. At first, while contact is just being established, you should not go beyond this framework. But as soon as you feel that the conversation is going in the right direction, you can launch into monologues if your interlocutor is interested. Always remember that at first you shouldn’t dump a sea of information on your partner.

What can you do to get your man back?

If a guy disappears after the first date or sex, then you shouldn’t count on anything. But all is not always lost, especially if everything was serious between you. Before you delete the number from your address book and delete your lover from your life, find out the following points:

Find out the reason. If force majeure situations occurred or the guy unexpectedly found himself in a hospital bed, then there is no threat. It's just the way things turned out.
If you find out that the reason is not force majeure, then try to find the guy and bring him to a sincere conversation. Let him say to his face that he is not satisfied. Perhaps you have the power to change his decision - pay him more attention, stop smoking or tell your friends details of your personal life.
If it turns out that a man is married and has broken off contact with you so that his wife does not find out about the affair and file for divorce, then just forget about such a person and be more careful next time.
When a man falls out of love, break up calmly and without scandals. This, unfortunately, happens and does not depend on the girl.

The minimum that needs to be done is to bring him up for conversation, the maximum is to correct his behavior, then there will be a chance that the man will come to his senses and return.

It’s difficult and unpleasant when a guy unexpectedly breaks off communication without explaining the reason. At such moments, the girl is upset, confused and does not know what to do next. It’s worth sitting down, calming down and thinking about why the man behaved this way. After this, you can understand how to behave further.

Don't forget to give the floor to your interlocutor

It will be difficult for you to get bored with a person if you give him the opportunity to talk about himself no less than you. An excellent option is the ability to ask open-ended questions that require free answers. All this is necessary in order to help the interlocutor engage in the dialogue. The questions must also be chosen correctly. For example, most likely the question “How long have you lived in Moscow?” will entail a monosyllabic answer, and if you ask your interlocutor why he moved to Moscow and whether he likes this city, here you can get a more interesting and detailed answer, which in the future will make it possible to develop the dialogue in new directions. This way, you will be able to find out more about your friend or acquaintance, which will provide the basis for further communication.

And it can be boring and sad too

In fifth gear you start to get bored. Boring... Boring as hell. It's boringly impossible... I don't want to do anything - I'm so lazy. Yes, Aunt Klava, well, you can’t change everyone... To hell with it... I was thinking about going to the cinema, but I have to go, you don’t know what shows there are yet... You yawn. Get used to the role of a sleepy fly. You're frankly bored. And he is slowly getting better.

Then you can come up with something constructive. Don't drink beer so that he comes back down. Something sensible, but not yet fun or extreme. So moderately positive. Somewhat cautious, calm, reasonable. Or, you can just start talking to him in this way. There is no need to force him to do something.

“Listen, let's go somewhere. The constitution does not prohibit taking a walk.” He responded to this: “Well, I’d rather sleep now.” Here it is important to try not to let him fall into the clutches of Morpheus, but to really bring him to a good state - there is just a little left. He has already become sane. He was just a vegetable, a whiner, then paranoid, then rowdy, arguing like a stoner.

“Come on, let’s go for a little walk - it’s good for health...” - “Well, it’s good...” - “Now it’s warmer, the girls are wearing these minis: it’s nice to look at... We, thank God, have the girls we need - both well-behaved and pretty " And now he’s already getting ready to go shave