To trust or not to trust?
It is important to maintain harmony in everything. You need to look at things realistically, and also evaluate your opponent realistically. There is no need to attribute to a person those traits that in your opinion he possesses. If you have had negative experiences with people in your life, do not go to extremes and do not look for the same trait in every person. This situation has already happened, and you have drawn the appropriate conclusions from it. Throughout your life, you don’t need to look through this prism at all the other people who will meet on your life’s path. You already know what to do in a similar situation, but there is no need to focus your attention on this because often we ourselves attract to ourselves what we fear.
There is a right and wrong way to distrust. It's quite normal not to trust a new acquaintance. But pathologically not trusting everyone, for no apparent reason, is already a wrong position.
Distrust towards people can mean a low level of psychological control, weakness and reluctance of a person to overcome and cope with betrayal, fear of being vulnerable.
Honesty brings people closer together
I will say a simple, but not always obvious thing. Trust is strengthened by honesty and openness. Mistrust - hushing up rough edges and discontent. And this is the contribution of both partners.
The worm of doubt speaks every now and then
Katya asks Seryozha: “What is your relationship with Yulia?” Seryozha is frightened by Katya’s possible anger and, looking down, answers: “We have been friends for many years.” Katya's downcast gaze and uncertain tone make her distrustful. She decides not to continue the uncomfortable conversation, and the worm we already know settles inside.
Who is to blame for this situation? Both. Seryozha did not tell the truth that Katya’s question took him by surprise and he was afraid of Katya’s jealousy. But Katya did not share her fears with Seryozha.
If Katya and Seryozha were honest with each other, they would find a lot in common: that they are afraid of pain, have experience of jealousy and betrayal, and are angry with previous partners. This would become the basis for rapprochement, not conflict.
How to overcome excessive distrust of people
Analyze the experiences of your past. Distrust towards others is only associated with your negative emotions after negative events in your life. It has nothing to do with other people in your life. These are just your prejudices.
Don't put everyone in one group. They are all different and there is no need to label them according to your inner fears and concerns. Recall positive communication experiences often. Of course, you can remember pleasant communication, an unexpected acquaintance that grew into a long friendship or serious relationship. After all, there are people on earth whom you can trust and you have been doing this for a long time.
Build a dialogue. Even if you understand that you are being deceived, it is never too late to discuss this with your interlocutor. Ask questions that concern you. Clear your doubts. Sometimes during a conversation everything turns out to be completely different from what you really thought.
Avoid extremes. Don't try to prove to the whole world that deception is evil. But pretending that you are happy if you feel false is also not worth it. Be sure to speak openly about your opinions.
Relationship energy: how to learn to trust your loved one
Love is the most beautiful and important feeling in our life. However, any, even the best relationship can be destroyed due to a lack of trust between lovers. To keep your love, you need to learn to trust your loved one.
According to bioenergeticists and psychics, in addition to the physical body, a person also has bodies of a subtle plane - the astral and mental. Life energy flows freely through these bodies, concentrating in active energy centers called chakras.
When nothing interferes with the flow of energy, a person’s energy is in a harmonious and healthy state. But if energy is blocked in one of the chakras, then the subtle body begins to deplete, and after some time its negative state begins to affect a person’s physical and emotional health.
The lack of trust between loving people on the subtle plane looks like a block on the green Anahata chakra. It is located in the chest area and is responsible for feelings and emotional sensations.
Positive emotions nourish Anahata and accumulate positive emotional energy, while negative emotions deplete the energy flow of the heart chakra. Lack of trust and suspicion towards a loved one most of all weakens vital energy, “weighting” it down.
Ultimately, a powerful block is formed on Anahata, which over time can begin to negatively affect the functioning of the heart. You can save the situation by resolving problems in relationships - energetic, psychological and factual.
How to learn to trust
If an unpleasant situation, resentment or betrayal has occurred in your relationship that interferes with trust, then first of all you need to weigh the pros and cons of such a relationship and decide for yourself whether you can forgive and forget past grievances for the sake of your love.
If the internal answer is negative, you should not overstep yourself and your self-esteem. Changing the circumstances of your life is difficult, but liberation from the constant fear of repetition of the situation and mistrust is absolutely worth it.
If you understand that you are able to forgive past grievances, then the lost trust should be restored. This requires the efforts of not only the “offending party,” but also yours. Without your willingness to work on your feelings, lost trust will never be regained. There are several ways to restore a broken relationship:
- joint meditations;
- harmonization;
- affirmations for love and understanding;
- joint visit to a family psychologist.
If everything is fine in your relationship, but trust in your loved one has disappeared by itself, then this indicates a block in the heart chakra. Its cause may be:
- damage or love spell on you or your partner;
- imbalance of male and female energy.
In any of these cases, only you can help your relationship. To regain lost trust in your partner, you need to understand what situation you are most afraid of and honestly tell your loved one about it. After the conversation, write down your feelings, new thoughts and conclusions in a notebook and put it aside for two to three days.
After this period, re-read what you wrote with “fresh eyes” and compare the feelings you have with what you wrote. Make another entry, even if you feel like nothing has changed significantly. Continue to analyze and write down your thoughts, sorting through your fear, for two to three weeks.
If your significant other really did not give you a reason to mistrust, then after a while you will notice how your feelings have changed in comparison with the very first entry. This method is effective against any fears, phobias and doubts associated with strong emotional experiences.
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conclusions
Complete trust in people carries great risk. But complete distrust in order to protect yourself is not always a reasonable decision. No need for extremes. It is necessary to analyze each specific situation, your inner feelings, your life experience.
Total distrust of absolutely every person in your life will worsen your social condition and reduce your circle of friends, because people feel when they are not trusted and suspected of lying. When we are afraid that we will once again be betrayed or deceived, we subconsciously attract negative events into our lives and once again find evidence of our fears.
Sometimes our lives literally require us to trust complete strangers, such as doctors. It's unavoidable. You shouldn’t play out the scenario of betrayal in your head in advance and waste your time and energy on it. Live and enjoy life. Perceive any negative consequences as a life experience, draw lessons from it, and draw conclusions. Be grateful to every person, no matter what emotions they bring into your life, for their contribution to your destiny.
Because of what she heard from her guy friends
Having a guy friend is one of life's simplest pleasures because you can interact with him without drama or boredom, just with honesty. Another benefit of having one is that you can get insight into a guy when you need advice. However, the more time you spend with him, the more you understand why men intentionally hurt women.
Because of what they did to our girlfriends
Many of us have witnessed men betraying our best friends, because of which they are literally killed mentally day and night for a long period. This phenomenon is difficult to ignore. On the one hand, I want to slap my friend and tell her that it’s time to stop crying and feeling sorry for herself, because that guy doesn’t deserve it. On the other hand, you just want to find this unscrupulous person and express everything you think about him.
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Do you think that after such situations it will be easy to trust men? No! You will already understand from the very beginning what could happen to you if he betrays you, thanks to the example of your girlfriends.
After betrayal
If a person says that “I don’t trust people because I was betrayed in the past,” then this means only one thing - the burden of disappointments once experienced does not allow the latter to live fully and be happy. In this case we are talking about betrayal of a loved one.
It is possible that a woman was once betrayed by her husband, and after breaking up with him, she was never able to find personal happiness and get married again due to her distrust of the opposite sex. The problem in this case is obvious.
In such a situation, people need to find the strength within themselves and forgive their ex-partner. But it’s still not worth returning to the traitor. Especially if the husband has already cheated on his wife.
If the offender still repents and asks for forgiveness, then you need to listen to him. This will make things easier for both partners.
There are couples who, having separated due to the betrayal of one of the partners (most often the husband, because men very rarely forgive betrayal), reunite to start a family. But without trust they can no longer build normal relationships. In such a situation, time must pass. It is possible that in a few months the resentment will pass, emotions will subside, and the spouses will be able to build a new harmonious relationship.
Addition
Why doesn't a person trust? Most often, precisely because he has already encountered deception and betrayal in his life. However, not all people who have had negative experiences in the past withdraw into themselves and stop seeing and communicating with others. Although this also happens.
For example, a man no longer wants to build serious relationships with women due to the fact that his beloved girl did not wait for him from the army. The latter believes that all representatives of the fair sex can do the same. But, fortunately, this is not the case. Moreover, when people have such fear of building new relationships and meeting another person, they definitely need to work through this problem with a psychologist and get rid of it. This needs to be remembered.
To the above
If a woman was ever betrayed by a man, then this had to happen. This is an experience. But this does not mean that you need to withdraw into yourself and not allow yourself to love and start new relationships. You just need to be realistic. We must learn to understand people, see their actions, and not just listen to words.
If a person is afraid of losing something close and dear again, this means that something similar has already happened in his life. But you need to continue to live, start a family, make new friends. However, you don’t need to blindly believe everything. The experience was given so that a person understands that people are different. Some will always be faithful, while others will betray at the right moment. This needs to be taken into account.
'Cause most guys just talk and don't do
Words are just words. They can easily disappear into thin air. However, the actions will tell you everything you need to know. Trust is earned when words are backed up by actions. A man can say a thousand times how much he loves you, but he doesn’t show it, so what’s the point? This will ultimately lead to pain and disappointment. Therefore, girls already at a subconscious level block the function of trust in those who simply chat about everything, but in reality turn out to be a dummy.
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