How to understand that they envy you, reasons and signs of female envy

Greetings, friends!

Envy destroys personality, deprives a person of control over his own emotions, makes him aggressive and conflictual. He is constantly in an anxious or depressed state, which can even lead to a noticeable deterioration in health. Today we will find out how to get rid of envy in order to live a full life and maintain harmony in relationships with others. First of all, let's figure out what envy is and why it can arise, and then we'll work on eliminating it. Let's get started.

Sign No. 10. Completely ignoring you

If people simply begin to ignore you or avoid you, then know that they have begun to envy you. As a rule, the first signs of envy in people cause complete contempt for the object of envy itself, which pushes them to outright ignore it. Therefore, if you notice such an attitude of people towards you, then treat them absolutely the same way, and at the same time, do not even try to establish communication with them or build business cooperation. Remember, sooner or later, they themselves will come to you for help.

In conclusion, it is worth adding that if you notice that people have begun to envy you, then it is necessary, first of all, to identify the envious people themselves and protect yourself from communicating with these individuals, so as not to ruin your whole life.

Signs of envy - recognizing an envious person by their characteristic behavior

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Criticism of achievements

An envious person downplays the importance of other people's achievements and constantly criticizes, even in those moments when such behavior looks irrational and inappropriate.

This situation often occurs in work or school environments, since it is in such an environment that the achievements and failures of others are almost always exposed.

Spreading gossip

Slander about a person who has achieved heights in a certain field is not uncommon. For example, about a girl who, with her intellect and efforts, built a career and earned decent amounts of money, no, no, but you will hear that everything was due to a successful acquaintance or for “beautiful eyes,” but not thanks to talent and zeal.

Deliberate meanness

Envious people are usually a rather cowardly category of people and create troubles on the sly or under the guise of a plausible reason. The boss may send not a key employee, but someone less capable, on an important business trip abroad solely out of envy of talent, having come up with a good reason.

Negative reactions to other people's achievements

Reaction to stories about achievements: unmotivated aggression or avoidance of contacts. For example, when talking about successes, an envious person may become nervous, raise his voice, get angry at the speaker, or abruptly change the topic of conversation because it is unpleasant to him.

Incorrect advice that makes life worse

Envious people are quite capable of trying to convince others by directing them down the wrong path. If you are dissuaded from building a relationship with your loved one, accepting a promotion at work, or advised to do something dubious - do not take it into account!

Men's envy

For a man, the subject of envy is often external status and the ability to realize all his capabilities through his own means. Maybe a man is simply jealous of money - a frequent occurrence when the amount he has accumulated with difficulty lies completely intact for a long time, since men simply enjoy the feeling of their wealth and suffer cruelly when they are forced to spend it.

The average guy rarely allows himself in his dreams to step over more than one or two steps of the social level, since the lives and successes of people located beyond the visible space reach him as if from another world. Most men have a mental bar, beyond which they do not allow themselves to fantasize until they reach it, but having reached it, they often calm down and reap the fruits of their labors for the rest of their lives.

Large businessmen and politicians are rather the exception to the rule, so there are much fewer of them than owners of small retail outlets or managers of small industries. The law of the “blind spot” applies here - having reached the level previously set for themselves, most men cease to see the prospects ahead of them, but begin to ennoble and push the boundaries in breadth, expanding the comfort zone, but without transgressing it.

How to understand that a person is jealous of you?

How to recognize envy? Envy manifests itself differently in everyone. Its main features are as follows:

False joy. An envious person will strive to congratulate you on any achievement first. He can shower compliments that will immediately seem sincere.
But when you leave the room, his tone will immediately change. Quite often, such individuals pretend and divert attention from their real feelings.
The most effective method is to respond in kind. Try praising and admiring them. This way, they may increase their self-esteem a little and become less envious.
Depreciation . Regardless of the heights they themselves have achieved and the efforts put into it, the envious person will try to belittle it all. He can prove that everything you have is just an accident or favorable circumstances. This is a very unpleasant manifestation of envy, and the higher your successes, the more negativity there will be from the envious person. Therefore, it is better to remain modest, but in no case lose confidence that you deserve what you have.
Exaggerating your success. Tormented by envy, a person will try to exalt his own success, which is especially evident when celebrating someone else’s.
The explanation for this is simple - complexes. He is not confident enough in himself and feels worse than others, so he tries to measure his success with them.
Imitating your behavior. An envious person wants to be better than the object of envy. Or at least like him. He can imitate this person, for example, in speech or clothing. In this case, you can try to give him inspiration by your own example, and not just provoke envy.
Competition . Envious people tend to compete because they constantly want to feel superior. In this case, you can either accept the fight or refuse it. The second option is, of course, better. It is worth showing that you are not competing with them, and competition is inappropriate.
Joy for failures. An envious person will be incredibly happy if you make the slightest mistake. He may not demonstrate this in any way, but at the same time secretly feel joy at your failures. Your task in this case is to endure failures correctly. Remind them that mistakes are a normal part of life and development. If you don't grieve, you'll deprive them of their pleasure.
Gossip behind your back . Envious people will always find a reason and method to gossip behind your back, which, of course, can harm your reputation. In this case, it is better to confront them directly. Since they are not inclined to demonstrate their readiness for conflict directly, you can have a serious conversation with them - this will disarm them, and this may be enough for them to think about their behavior or stop mischievousness.
Hatred .
If some person in your environment hates you, without really hiding it, then know that it may be a matter of simple envy. It's hard to deal with this. There is hardly any point in trying to improve relationships right away. It is optimal to erase such a person from your life or at least minimize the conflict with him.

You can also recognize an envious person if you study a little sign language. The following manifestations indicate this bad feeling:

A forced fake smile. When a person smiles sincerely, it involves not only the lips, but also the eyes. If a person smiles only with his mouth, we can talk about insincerity. The lips may be tense and the corners of the mouth may be overstretched. Also, a fake smile is often crooked, on one side.
Pay attention to the eyes. An envious person can hide his eyes in every possible way: squint them, cover them, or simply look away.
The hands of a person who is insincere with you may be near his mouth, as if he is subconsciously trying to cover it.
The head is often tilted to the side - this indicates the curvature of thoughts.
A suspicious “symptom” is a closed posture with arms crossed over the chest.
Even more openly, insincerity and a desire to hide something is evidenced by a gesture when a person hides his hands in his pockets or behind his back. Another option for hiding your hands is to clasp the elbow or wrist of your other hand behind your back. This suggests that the person is trying in every possible way to control his emotions.
You can pay attention to the tilt of the body. When a person is pleasant, we try to be as close to him as possible. If a person deviates from you, he is not sincere in his attitude.
It is also possible to assess sincerity by how a person changes the range of movements and their freedom . If he is too shy, he may be hiding his thoughts from you. Sudden changes are clearly noticeable in gestures and movements, so it is better to notice them in dynamics.

Of course, having discovered some kind of gesture, you should not immediately see your interlocutor as a fierce envious person. But if you constantly notice several of them, then you can talk about a certain degree of insincerity.

How envy is born

Every human desire, before reaching an attempt to translate into action, goes through several stages. At the first stage, the soul-piercing “I want the same” can disappear without a trace in everyday issues and remain unrealized.

At the second stage, desire is achieved only by repeatedly voicing a “sick” topic or endlessly flashing before the eyes of the “desired”. A person who has more reason than emotions, and at this stage will be able to pull himself together and not enter into reasoning with himself “if only, but if only.”

Another thing is that he is a weak personality, initially an envious person, accustomed to giving freedom to empty fantasies, a kind of “Judas” Porfishka Golovlev. In his dreams, this guy will become a general and conquer half the world, but in reality he will draw devils in the fields in a tattered robe. Dealing with such a person is not so much dangerous as it is unpleasant. Actually, embodied hypocritical fantasy is already a transition to the third, extreme stage of envy, which cannot be called anything other than deeply black.

Shades of black are also endowed with such unpleasant “resulting” actions as gossip, petty dirty tricks, false emotionality - all these are clear indicators of when the feeling of envy is entirely built on the false idea that it will still not be possible to achieve what you want.

Another branch of the third stage of the state of envy is the search for a solution to make a dream come true. Of course, there may be negative aspects here too, because in order to get what you want, you can steal it, take it away, sue, and beg, but it will still be a dynamic, albeit in a negative way. Ideally, the stage preceding the action should encourage healthy competition, as A. S. Pushkin voiced in his statement about envious people.

Examples of such envy, translated into action and leading to achievements, can be observed at every step - a politician who rose from the middle class of society, an entrepreneur who built a million-dollar business, starting with selling newspapers in the transition, a housewife who wrote a book that became a bestseller. It’s hard to believe, but each of these undertakings was once nothing more than someone’s “I want,” which then became “I can,” and only then, “I will do.”

Signs

Sometimes those closest to you are envious. How to recognize this, and what are the signs?

Envious eyes

Eyes reveal a lot about a person’s feelings and sincerity.

Envious eyes are prickly and piercing, and a person can try to hide this by covering them with eyelids.

He may lower his gaze, blink frequently, and half-close them. But even more often the envious person squints his eyes .

This look gives him the opportunity to simultaneously watch you and hide his facial expression.

It is quite difficult to recognize what expression a person has in his eyes if in fact only one pupil is visible, and there is a smile on his face.

And yet, by looking into the eyes, you can understand the level of sincerity of the person.

At a friend's

Women's envy, even towards a close friend, is a common occurrence . It can be “white” when your loved ones rejoice at your successes without harming you or themselves, and use your achievements as their motivation.

However, there is also “black” envy, which tends to cause negative energy that is transmitted to others. Its extreme degree is revenge for the successes of others.

It is usually difficult for a person to hide such a feeling, and it can be expressed as follows :

dissatisfaction and irritation when you try to talk about your success or positive feelings;
imitation of you;
after you talked with your friend, you feel guilty for what you have;
a friend may stop you from taking important steps that could lead to something good in the future;
she may ignore your positive emotions, but show a clear interest in negative ones;
can openly compare you with each other, emphasizing his superiority;
She can also insincerely and very feignedly express love and respect for you.

In a circle of mutual acquaintances, an envious person will not miss the opportunity to put you in the worst light. Having noticed at least a couple of these signs, you have every right to assume that your friend is jealous of you.

From husband to wife

Envy is possible even between spouses. Men have an extremely difficult time with it if a woman is more successful than them. And if this is a motivation for someone, then another will be jealous and angry.

This still manifests itself in the same way: by devaluing the wife’s successes, caustic jokes in the style of “A woman’s place is in the kitchen,” and an emphasis on defeat.

If you can simply say goodbye to someone who is not too close, then the marriage is still worth trying to save .

The wife’s task is to talk to her husband, show him her love and motivate him to achieve his own achievements. In marriage, people should be members of the same team, not competitors.