“Be willing to change your goals, but never change your values.”
We are all looking for ways and opportunities to realize our goals and desires. But in essence, we are all striving for the same thing. It doesn’t matter who we are, where we were born, who our parents are, how old we are, whether we have education and what gender we are, we want to wake up one day and be sure that our life is dear to us, that we love it, what is in front of us there is no question of how to live correctly, and we are satisfied with our life. Everything we dreamed about is in our lives.
And what we strive for, what is there in this life that we put together using puzzles, but are not always satisfied with the result, what it means to live beautifully, and how to achieve this, remains a mystery to most people. What do we want from life?
Watch your affections
Life will not be simple unless you let go of your attachments. If you are attached to old memorabilia, you will not be able to free your home from junk; if you are attached to constant activity and correspondence, you are at risk of information overload and fatigue.
Track your attachments and find out what you can’t get rid of, what you can’t let go of. Whether it's things, people or things, remember that if you don't let them go, you won't get freedom and life will always be too difficult.
Fight the habit of getting distracted
We are used to being constantly distracted, interrupting our activities and feeling terribly busy. When talking with a person, we switch to messages in instant messengers. When we travel, we step out of reality to take more new photos and post them on social networks. We are distracted by phone notifications and empty conversations, and if there are none, by our thoughts, memories and fears. All this makes it difficult to concentrate on the present moment and enjoy it.
But it is important to understand that this is not a character trait or a feature of the brain, but just a bad habit that you can get rid of with effort.
Important points
Often we try to think about the steps we have already taken. For any changes to occur, you should not think about them either good or bad. Any life changes are necessary, but at the same time think in such a way that it was neither good nor bad, but just happened and no other way.” And it seems that it is not difficult, but you need to learn how to use it in order for it to be useful in the future. Then, after the changes have occurred, you will not think about whether they were good or bad. You will simply move through life without looking back, accepting it as it is.
At the same time, do not expect what the changes will be, but be satisfied that they have occurred. And, therefore, you will not be disappointed. Learning to accept what is happening as it is is a difficult but necessary moment in the life of every sane person. Some doubt this possibility, but everyone can do it. The main thing is to pull yourself together and begin to act, rejecting all the amorphousness of human nature. This is all written briefly, but now we will look at this point more carefully.
Take your life to full screen mode
Imagine that any task you do - work, answering email, washing dishes or reading - is expanded to full screen. There is only this task, you see nothing except it. If you expand every task to full screen, life will be much less stressful.
When you fully concentrate on any task, it turns out much better, and you experience pleasure while doing it.
For example, try washing the dishes without being distracted by the TV, conversations or thoughts in your head. Your movements will become precise and controlled, and you will really start to enjoy it.
Increase pauses between tasks
Reduce the number of things on your list. Plan only half of what you think you can do. We constantly overload ourselves with tasks, forgetting about such simple things as cooking, putting ourselves in order, taking care of clothes.
We always don't have time because we try to do too much. Free up time to do everything slowly, with complete immersion in the task. Leave time between tasks to enjoy their successful completion.
Take time and pay attention to what is happening around you so that you can manage your life.
Absorption
Absorption by emotions makes a person unstable and chaotic. A person himself does not know what he wants, makes impulsive decisions that he is unable to follow. His feelings live their own lives, and seem to walk in parallel corridors, meeting, perhaps, for internal conflict.
That is, even when faced with a blatant inconsistency of his own views, an emotional person is unable to combine his contradictory feelings in order to exhaust the internal conflict. As a result, a person can love and please today, hate tomorrow - and so on in endless cycles.
Relatively speaking, when there are a lot of sagging neuroses in the psyche, they absorb the territory of consciousness. At the same time, the channel of perception narrows, and any intense emotions completely cover it, loading all thoughts with their energy. As a result, everything that a person worries about becomes the final objective reality for him - even the most outright chimeras are taken at face value. Whatever movie the mind shows, such life is perceived without any doubt.
The stronger the emotions are, the weaker the contact with reality. At the same time, the mind rushes about like a weather vane in the wind, jumps from one plot of a personal fantasy drama to another - happy in the morning, terrified by the evening, calmed down again at night. The experiences paint contradictory roles in personal history: hero and loser, winner and vanquished, loved and despised. Identification with such roles can be all-encompassing, like an indestructible holy truth - that same strong faith coming from childhood.
Figure out what you need and discard the rest.
We rarely know what we really want. All we need to do is see a photo of something cool to immediately want it and change our focus in life. Looking at others, we come up with unrealistic desires and suffer from the fact that they are not fulfilled. We want to take up an expensive hobby because we saw someone else doing it. We want a different hairstyle, a different phone, a different body and a different life.
Every time you have fleeting desires because of photos, videos or other people's stories, ask yourself if this is yours. Try to understand what inspired the desire to buy something or do something, and whether you really need it.
The more you brush aside unnecessary things, purchases and desires, the easier and better your life becomes.
Housing issues
Heaven in a hut can be even for one.
If a teenager already lives separately from his parents, then he knows what is possible and what is not.
But if separation from parents has not yet occurred, you need to know what you will have to face.
Dorm room
This only threatens the very, very purposeful:
- those who are excellent students;
- those who grew up in single-parent families, large families, military families, etc.;
- those who are in very difficult life situations (but be prepared to provide strong evidence).
However, this type of housing has quite contrasting advantages and disadvantages.
Pros : significant savings on rental housing; fun and freedom always reign; You can always get any materials for study, as well as simply for life - sugar, a blanket, yeast or a drinking buddy.
Cons : your neighbors will be not only classmates, but also other unwanted neighbors (cockroaches, bedbugs and other living creatures); regular passing of an additional “session” (fire safety rules, cleanup days, duty on duty, in the kitchen, on the floor, etc.); if you are late at a meeting with friends or with your parents, then after 23.00 you are unlikely to be allowed into the hostel ( this is the law!); you may come across a “not your dream” neighbor with whom you may have disagreements about the placement of things, cleaning, music or something else; It’s simply impossible to get enough sleep in a dorm.
Renting an apartment yourself
So, if you are a minor, then you need to know how long you can live separately from your parents. The law says that children under 14 years of age cannot be registered separately from their parents.
If there are compelling reasons, children may register at any location separate from their parents.
From the age of 16, if necessary, an emancipation procedure can be carried out - premature recognition as an adult.
All these difficulties can be completely avoided if you have a good relationship with your parents and they are not against the child starting to live separately at 15 years old or at any other age. In this case, they will help you with everything: in finding housing, concluding a rental agreement, and will also be responsible for you.
Renting a home yourself is very expensive. But we have some tips for you on how to reduce your tuition costs and help yourself and your parents a little.
The advantages of renting an entire apartment : the ability to receive guests or come home at any convenient time; housekeeping in the usual way, independence from the tastes and views of other people; choosing the right area (closer to work or university); you don’t have to worry about the integrity of your own belongings and products
Disadvantages of renting an entire apartment : high rental costs; the condition of the apartment is not always decent; landlords can show up without warning and raise rent without warning; may be asked to move out at any inconvenient moment; neighbors will keep a close eye on you and if there is loud music or guests, they may immediately call the police; The degree of wear and tear of furniture and equipment is unknown, so you are responsible for any damage.
Rent a room
Renting a room is much easier and cheaper than renting an entire apartment. And it seems like this is the same rented apartment, but not the whole thing, but only part of it.
But there are some nuances here that are worth knowing.
For example, my classmate rented a room in her first year from a seemingly sweet grandmother. But soon things took an unexpected turn. As soon as a student went to a disco or returned home 5 minutes later than the usual schedule of classes at the university, a sweet granny would play with her classmate’s mother and wash that bone. Not what we count on when we want to start an independent life, right?
However, if you come across an adequate owner (or even he will live separately and rent out the entire apartment room by room to different people), then there is quite a chance to live “high.”
Pros : you can choose the location of the apartment yourself; often good living conditions because often the owners themselves live in the same apartment and take care of the territory).
Cons : shared bathroom; restrictions on visits; inconvenience to the hosts if you return late; the possibility of running into inappropriate roommates.
Practice doing nothing
We are so used to doing something all the time that doing nothing gives us real pain. Try to give up all activities: don’t read, don’t look at your smartphone, don’t eat. Just do absolutely nothing.
At first, there will be suggestions in your head about what you can do, some important and urgent matters. You will begin to get bored, maybe you will be drawn to sleep. Don't give up - just don't do anything.
It would seem such a simple practice, but you are unlikely to endure it for long. Get used to it gradually - it helps to cope with tension, internal haste and fussiness.
Follow these tips and see how your life changes. Most likely, you will find a lot of beauty in the world around you and in yourself.
PS Did you finish reading this article without interruption for other things? 
Down with global expectations
It's time to begin the second stage of our change. You need to remove all expectations from your thinking. Throw out expectations, don't scale them down. Quite often a person becomes discouraged because events unfold according to a different scenario than he expected. You demand from a person close to you some changes, often on a global scale, but he cannot do this for some reason.
And what does this lead to? To the emergence of anger. And he is already beginning to settle like a dead weight on your shoulders. If there are no expectations in your life, then you won’t have to be disappointed. Remember one simple truth: no one is to blame for your disappointment: not a single person, only expectations. So you'll have to live with it until you change your mind. But at the same time, after changing your thinking, you will no longer be disappointed.
