I went to Moscow with my child for surgery
2. Hello! I have a situation where I got into debt and I can’t pay it back, but it turned out like this: I went to Moscow with my child for an operation at the Bakulev Center. He had a septal defect of the left ventricle of the heart. Since we were in Moscow for the first time, I really wanted to show him as much as possible so that there would be positive emotions before and after the operation. But I didn’t calculate it in terms of money, because... rent, excursions, food, all this turned out to be more expensive than I thought. That’s why I borrowed money and now I have to pay it back, but I have nothing. I work, but the salary is not enough.
Natalya Senchukova and Victor Rybin
The married couple first spoke about their lack of money in the program “The Stars Aligned”: “The earnings have disappeared. Natalia and I have 31 thousand rubles left. All. Honestly. I have a hobby that consumes money - a ship, it ate everything. Until we got into debt. Of course, friends will help if anything happens,” said Rybin . The couple did not have any savings for a rainy day, since several years ago the singer made an unsuccessful investment in the construction of a sports complex in his hometown of Dolgoprudny: “We built a monument to my stupidity. When our child was still small, I headed the Russian Children and Youth Karate Federation, we had money, and we sent it all there. Then I decided to build a martial arts hall, the business told me: we will help. They fed us with promises for a year until we spent all the money. And in 2008, business said: no, we don’t need children’s sports,” Victor shared with the guests in the studio. However, the couple is not going to fall into despair, and they even decided to sell the very hobby that “eats money”. True, a buyer has not yet been found: “We have resigned ourselves: come what may. But there is no question of selling a house or car. Only a motor ship - but who needs it at the moment? The main thing now is health. We have friends who died from coronavirus, that’s what’s really scary,” Natalya told StarHit. In addition, the spouses are ready to give concerts online and not only them, which the singer wrote about on her page: “Online congratulations on all kinds of holidays, anniversaries, weddings and birthdays are also possible! We guarantee fun, romance and professional quality! Life goes on!" — Viktor Rybin’s wife summed up.
Victor Rybin and Natalya Senchukova: “Our dacha is... floating!” More details
We have nowhere and nothing to live on
3. Two sons of schoolchildren. The eldest Denis is 14 years old, the youngest Ioann is 12 years old. My name is Anastasia. We have nowhere and nothing to live on. 6,000 rubles is all the money at our disposal. Our debts are about 350,000 rubles. This is without interest, with them it is 2 times more. Our hut is falling apart, no conditions, we live wherever we have to. There is nothing to buy clothes with. John and I are terminally ill, immunodeficient.
I can’t work, my child is very sick, and he hasn’t been going to school for 2 weeks at the moment. Fever, cough, immunity does not fight. We take lifelong pills, each time he gets worse. I am very afraid. I don’t know how to survive anymore. They don't give in to homeschooling, they say it's not allowed. So he takes pills and that’s it, as long as he doesn’t have hepatitis or tuberculosis or anything else, that’s fine. Under no circumstances should he be around sick people. Sberbank card number 639002309033725787.
Anastasia Volochkova
If you have a large country house, like Anastasia Volochkova , it is not so difficult to endure self-isolation, because you can barbecue on the lawn, lie on the grass in warm weather, or go to the bathhouse, which, in fact, is what the ballerina did. However, her carefree everyday life was disrupted by SMS alerts from the bank. At the end of April, almost 200 thousand rubles disappeared from the dancer’s account in a few minutes. To find out the reason for such a large write-off, Anastasia tried to contact the bailiffs: “However, the bailiffs do not answer my calls. This mess! I had no debts or lawsuits. Journalists are constantly watching me, it would immediately be revealed if I had some kind of debt,” the ballerina told kp.ru. Volochkova’s assistant brought some clarity to this story: “My assistant found on the courts’ website that in 2020 a certain Tonus Club LLC sued me. Allegedly this is a write-off in his favor. Although I don’t know anything about this trial. Apparently, scammers are operating. They left me without money during the pandemic. Money for groceries was set aside on the card; I wanted to order food for the period of self-isolation,” Anastasia complained. Now the question is “What to live on?” is also relevant for the former prima of the Bolshoi Theater: “Where to go now, who to complain to... What to live on now? During the pandemic, everything is closed, but swindlers, even in such difficult times, make money from honest people,” kp.ru quotes the ballerina as saying.
The big one shuddered. Volochkova demands a pension from her former employers Read more
We lost our only home
4. We are a large family from Moscow. We have 7 small children. Because of the mortgage, we lost our only home. According to the decisions of the courts of two instances, the children were discharged to nowhere, to the street. We cannot get social housing for children, either from officials or from the Moscow government. According to Article 92, housing is supposed to be allocated from the flexible fund, but the city property department refuses us and says that housing is provided before the auction is sold. It’s not our fault that the bank put the apartment up for auction through the bailiff.
While I was in the hospital I was fired
5. I live in a private house, of all the vital conditions, only light. Until recently, I worked at a furniture company, and it seemed like I was starting to get back on track after getting a mortgage, but I started having problems with my back. At first I seemed to endure it, sometimes I took painkillers, and it got to the point where I developed an ulcer. I went to the hospital, while I was in bed, I was fired. Now I have to go back to bed to treat my back, but I have no money at all. My wife works alone, and there are four of us, my son, daughter and I are unemployed and have a bad back. Help me get better and go straight to work. My account is 42307.810.7.5919.9602387.
How to live further if there is no strength and meaning
It is the loss of the meaning of life that deprives you of your main strengths, so instead of pumping yourself up with energy drinks, it is more logical to deal with your basic life-giving meanings. Such conditions arise from crisis and traumatic moments, when a person loses loved ones, faces serious illnesses, and is forced to radically change his life. Then the previous guidelines collapse, and new ones have not yet been formed, and it becomes completely unclear how to live, and there is really no strength, since exactly as much energy appears as is necessary to realize aspirations. Some can afford to travel to deal with a change in direction, understand where difficulties came from and set a new course, but not everyone can leave their everyday life for introspection of the inner world. Then the question arises of how to live further if there is no strength and money to provide such a retreat. Fortunately, it is continuity with your usual life that is the key to overcoming this condition.
Spiritually strong people perceive everything philosophically and as temporary categories, having internal meanings of something imperishable and without an end point - this could be self-development, improving the world, helping those in need. When the meaning is limited to some specific relationships, people, type of activity, then the likelihood of its loss is high, and the more specific and stronger the attachment, the greater the crisis awaits. While continuing to perform your usual actions, consider your life for the presence of such eternal meanings that have value even after your death, even after everything disappears and changes. During this time, you can automatically go to work and cook soup, while mentally noting to yourself whether it makes sense to paint your lips or feed the homeless, go to church or buy a dress - by analyzing such little things you can come across their relevance, despite the changes that have occurred. Following this, an understanding of energy will begin to increase for the performance of such actions that you yourself assess as important - this will be the new course of your life.
If the meaning of life was lost after a certain event, then this happened due to severe psychological trauma, which the nervous system was unable to cope with. Then it will fade away and become less of a concern, but the feeling of not being completely alive may remain, so it’s worth contacting a psychotherapist to work through the situation as quickly as possible - the older the injury, the more difficult the rehabilitation will be later. If there is no opportunity to use help, then try not to hold back your negative and uncomfortable emotions - cry while you cry, scold the world order while a cry breaks out, kick the walls of the institution where it was painful. Everything is fine, as long as these emotions do not remain inside you, because it will take all your strength to contain them.
Forced to rent an apartment
6. Hello, it so happened that at the age of 18 I was left without housing and was forced to rent an apartment. I work alone in the family, my mother cannot for health reasons, my brother is still small. Everything would be fine if there were no debts. Every month you need to pay 60,000 rubles. I work almost seven days a week, but I just don’t have enough money to even survive.
I really want to build my own life, I’m already 24 years old, but because of all these problems I don’t see anything in life other than physical work. I am at a loss, I don’t know what to do, I don’t see a further future. If you have nothing to live on, what to do? I don’t have a father; he left when I was still little. I ask for help to quickly get rid of debt obligations. And it’s just normal to exist. Card Sberbank 4276 4000 6175 9404.
Tatiana Bulanova
After the pandemic, a gap appeared in the concert schedule of Tatyana Bulanova , like many other artists, the singer was left without a main source of income: “I have no subsidies, government payments. Like a wolf, my feet feed me. I worked and got money. If I didn’t go, I didn’t get it. Now the biggest problem is somehow finding a means of subsistence,” the star shared with a journalist from the “You Won’t Believe” program on the NTV channel. The situation was aggravated by the mortgage that Bulanova took out to buy another apartment in St. Petersburg: “We need to come up with something, maybe take out another loan,” Tatyana thought out loud. The eldest son from the performer’s first marriage, alas, cannot help his famous mother, because he is also left without work. The coffee shop where Alexander worked closed. “The money has run out, but you need to live on something, you need to eat on something, you need to buy food - no one has canceled this. And the cat screams hungry. If this continues, I don’t understand what will happen at all, what to live on,” Tatyana said, throwing up her hands. And after her interview with NTV, she also ended up in the hospital in a pre-stroke condition. At the end of April, the star was discharged, and on May 10 she was even supposed to give her first concert online, but in the end it had to be postponed to the end of the month. True, Bulanova assured the public that this did not happen because of her poor health, but for “technical reasons.”
Don't cry, girl. Tatyana Bulanova gave her songs to the heroine of the series Read more
Took out a loan to build a house
7. I took out a loan to build a house. I put up walls, covered the roof, installed plastic windows on credit. I haven't given it up yet. Now my mother is sick and has cancer; she underwent surgery. Chemotherapy is needed. I took out a micro-loan for my mother for treatment. I couldn't pay this month. The collectors are tormenting me, they are threatening me.
If only they threatened me, or even tortured their sick mother and they called the bosses right up to the point of dismissal. There is no peace. I wanted to take out a loan, they didn’t give me a big load, they said. If I sell the house, I have no place to live. Who can help. Get out of the debt hole. The required amount is 350,000 or I will take it at reasonable interest for five years. Sberbank card number 676280309058118384.
I'm tired of just existing, I WANT TO LIVE, but I don't know HOW.
Good evening, Maxim. Your question is quite interesting, but at the same time chaotic, so let’s sort it out in order.
1) At the age of 24, it is quite natural to find yourself in a moratorium situation. Since at this age it is necessary to decide on future professional activities, family, solving social issues, etc.
2) An existential crisis at this age can arise for the same reasons. However, you should understand that it is not so much you asking the question what is the meaning, but life itself asking you what the meaning of your particular life is. And only you are responsible for finding the answer to this question.
3) The listed personal characteristics (apathy, weakness, aimlessness) from your position have acquired an exclusively negative character, which is in fact not entirely true. For example, envy could arise from comparing oneself to other people. Where, on the one hand, it creates a feeling of inferiority, but at the same time, on the other hand, without it you would not be able to develop and strive for something more. While melancholicity is generally a temperamental trait that cannot be changed. Therefore, not all of the above characteristics are negative.
4) In reality, finding a life's work is quite difficult, since in this case it requires a combination of both your interests and opportunities, which society cannot always provide. The ideal combination is quite rare, because sometimes the person himself does not know what he really wants.
Recommendations:
• The first thing that needs to be done in your case is to undergo certain psychological tests (if it is not possible to consult a psychologist in person), which will reveal your value orientations; professional interests, inclinations, abilities; personal characteristics, etc. Methods such as:
a. Holland test aimed at professional self-determination;
b. Schwartz's test of value orientations;
c. Differential diagnostic questionnaire by E. A. Klimov;
d. 16 factor personality questionnaire by R. Cattell.
Moreover, these tests can also be taken online, via the Internet, where after completing the tests you will be immediately provided with the results.
• Based on the test results, you need to build a further development path that optimally combines both your professional intentions, value orientations, needs, and the opportunities that society can provide you (based on independent analysis).
• Based on this, you select the appropriate job, hobby, etc. for yourself. If you cannot immediately decide, even with test results in hand, try to prove yourself in one type of activity or another. Because this is the only way to understand whether this job/hobby is suitable for you or not. Therefore, you need not only to read (although this is a very important and useful activity), but also to try yourself in various fields of activity.
• After some time, you will intuitively feel whether you are engaged in the activity that corresponds to your meanings, value orientations, personal characteristics and whether it falls under the category “my life’s work” or not.
Good luck!
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Invested maternity capital in a mortgage
9. Hello! We are a family of 4 (me, my husband and two small boys). Out of desperation I decided to write here. We took out a mortgage for an apartment 4 years ago, the monthly payment was 25 thousand rubles. Analyzed all government programs for mortgage forgiveness. They invested maternity capital in the mortgage. We do not qualify for other programs. The payment became 19 thousand rubles on the mortgage.
I work as a nurse, now I’m on maternity leave - I take care of children and their health. My husband works day and night. When their father is alive, children see him very rarely. It’s both physically difficult and psychologically difficult to realize that you still have to pay for 16 years. Every day I think about the mortgage and how to feed the children.
Do a good deed, please help! 8-927-901-55-75 number if you need to check the information. Card number 2202 2002 6383 4689.
With hope for a decent income and life
10. Good afternoon, I ask you to help me financially. Lived and worked in the Moscow region. We lived in my mother-in-law’s apartment, had a fight and she kicked us out, since the apartment belongs to her. We had to move out of the apartment and go to another region. We came to another region with the hope of a decent income and life. But our hopes were not justified. There is work, but they pay little and even then they don’t hire.
Since the summer we haven’t been able to find anything, they’re cutting jobs everywhere, but we have to eat and pay for housing, especially since the New Year is just around the corner.
We want to return with our family to the Moscow region, to our old job, but we don’t have the finances for tickets or rent. So we decided to ask for help. Maybe someone who has the opportunity can help. In the future, when we get back on our feet, we can return the money. For those who want to help, here are my details: tel. 89510920995, Post Bank card 2200 7702 0941 7783.
We ourselves are from the Voronezh region
11. We ourselves are from the Voronezh region. My husband and little 4-year-old son moved to Moscow for rented housing. My husband and I worked and took the child to the garden. On August 16, my husband went to the Moscow region for work and got into a terrible accident, where he completely broke everything. When I saw him in the hospital, he was completely in plaster. They performed surgery on the spine and opened the skull.
I was in a coma for two weeks, came out for a couple of days, then went back into a coma. Now they have sent him home, but he does not react to anything at all. Only when I ask if he recognizes me, a tear rolls down from his eye. I understand that now I am alone with the child, I just don’t understand what to do. I cry every day, my son regrets it, and I cry even more. I had to move back to Voronezh, but work there is very, very tight! Card number 4042667099778522.
I have no documents, I am an orphan
12. I am an orphan, I have no documents (lost during the move) and no money. I literally sleep on the street. The only things I need are the necessary clothes and a laptop that my ex-boyfriend gave me. I haven't eaten for four days. She herself is from Chkalovsk (a village in the Nizhny Novgorod region), she moved to her boyfriend in Moscow, but when they broke up, he kicked her out onto the street. I also can’t go back to Chkalovsk, because... I don’t have money for tickets, but I have to travel with travel bags. Please help, I’m already desperate, I don’t know what to do at all! Sberbank card 5469420017349542.
Give yourself permission to live the way you want
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“Everything in your life needs to start with yourself. You are the very starting point and axis around which everything in your life is built.”
As children, we were happy just like that. No matter what. Remember this state, feel it. But in childhood we were much more dependent on the external environment: on parents and other adults in our inner circle: on their moods, opinions, behavior, which were not always good, positive and adequate. But we were still happy.
So why shouldn’t we be happy now that all the joys of the world are available to us: both children’s and adults. When the whole world is open to us, and we can choose any road and walk along it. So why don’t we then enjoy every day, don’t use the opportunities that we have? Why do we often feel unhappy and believe that we cannot change anything in our lives? But we have grown up a long time ago, we are in charge of ourselves and our lives, and we can really fulfill almost any of our desires. And we sometimes behave like the elephant from the parable.
One man, arriving at the circus yard, saw that an adult elephant was tied to a thin peg, which he could easily tear out of the ground and gain freedom. But the elephant doesn't even try to do this. A walks around the pillar at a short distance, which is allowed by the length of the rope with which he is tied to this pillar. The man was surprised and asked the circus attendant: “How can this be?”
To which the servant replied that while the baby elephant is small, it is tied to a thicker post, and it breaks, but its strength is still not enough, and the baby elephant cannot break free. It breaks for days, weeks, months. And then there comes a moment when he understands: “I can’t” and resigns himself. And from that moment on he stops all attempts to break free. And when he becomes a large and adult elephant, he can be safely tied to a thin post, the elephant will not even try to free himself, because he remembers his unsuccessful experience when he tried, was exhausted and could not do it. And he doesn’t even try, although it wouldn’t be difficult for an adult elephant to tear this post out of the ground and become free.
This is such a sad story. Doesn't this elephant remind you of us as adults? We have grown up a long time ago and are responsible for our own lives, and sometimes we all wait for permission and approval from the outside in order to start doing what we want. And often we don’t even start if we don’t receive this permission and approval.
But no one can prohibit us from doing anything. And it’s no longer necessary. We already have so many restrictions and prohibitions within ourselves that we will prohibit ourselves from everything, will not allow it, and will not believe that we can achieve what we want. We will tell ourselves: “I won’t succeed, I’ve already tried/tried” or “I don’t have any abilities or talents,” or we will generally generalize and put an end to our dreams of a different life: “I never succeed in anything.” "...
Sound familiar? What or who really limits your freedom? Think about it. Realize that there is actually nothing that can stop you from achieving your goals, achieving your dreams. NOTHING AND NOBODY! Except for yourself, of course. What have you done so far? But since everything depends only on you, then you yourself can change everything.
The main thing is to understand one day that you have long grown up and become a “big, mature, strong elephant”, for whom it is not difficult to pull out the post that limits his freedom.
Decide to do it, free yourself from what is holding you back on the path to the Life of your dreams.
The main thing is to dare one day and understand that you yourself create your life. And from this moment start living the way you want. Just allow yourself to do it.
Allow yourself to live the way you want and do what you want, and you will have everything. It will be the way you always dreamed. And the impossible will become possible, not immediately, but over time, as your faith in yourself and your own strength strengthens, it will definitely become. And you will discover such depths and riches in yourself: manifestations and talents that you didn’t even suspect about.
And then you will have a completely different life: the life of your dreams.
Natalya Aryaeva, life coach and author of the “Dream Life” project
Original article
It all started with a slap, ended with fractures
13. Good day! I am 20 years old, my daughter is 2 years old. I was born in Moscow, lived here for 18 years, until I met a man, fell in love, and became pregnant. The man is Russian, but originally from Dagestan. At the time of my pregnancy, my mother sold her apartment to build a house (still under construction) and moved in with her new husband, forgetting about me.
I lived my life, went to Dagestan with this man, because I had nowhere to live. I gave birth, took care of the house. Everything was tolerable until he got deeper into alcohol and started raising his hand against me. It all started with a slap in the face and ended with fractures. I saved money as best I could, came to Moscow to visit a friend, she gave us shelter and helped look after the child while I worked.
I gave her part of the money from my salary as gratitude for her help. The house we lived in was my grandmother’s, and the grandmother herself lived with her daughter (friend’s mother) and essentially did not know about my living in her house. Now everything has become clear and she is literally throwing us out onto the street, threatening to bring the police. I have three weeks until payday, and the deadline for moving out is 5 days. I have nowhere to go. I need financial help to rent a room.
“People survive, not live”: Russia is increasingly becoming a non-Russian state - Pronko
The poverty of Russian families, especially large families, has become the main problem of the country today, Yuri Pronko said on the air of “The Bottom Line”. According to him, people today are not confident in the future, they survive rather than live, and refuse to have children because they have nothing to feed them - this is a real disaster.
According to NPF Safmar, 84% of Russian families do not save for old age at all. 74% do not have the financial capacity to create a personal “safety cushion”. Moreover, according to even official statistics, every second Russian family has only enough monthly income for food and clothing. A third of expenses goes towards food. Families consisting of pensioners and large families spend the most on food.
Dry residue
Pronko notes that food costs in Russia are among the highest. If we compare them with the expenses of citizens in the leading countries of the world. Thus, in Luxembourg they amount to 8.7%, in the UK - 10%, in the Netherlands - about 10.5%. In Russia it is 34.3%. Moldova, Kazakhstan and Ukraine spend more on food than in Russia.
Even within the walls of the Russian parliament, words are heard that the current situation in the Russian state has come very close to the point of no return, beyond which there may be irreversible consequences, notes Pronko.
“According to opinion polls conducted by the Center for Political Culture of Russia in 2020, half of those surveyed said that they see the main problems of the country as follows: poverty, low wages and pensions, rising prices, problems with housing and housing and communal services, medicine, education and other social problems. This means that the state has come very close to the point of no return, beyond which there may be irreversible consequences. Without paying due attention to the economy, the development of industry, and agriculture in the country, the government, if it does not start working for the benefit of the people, risks starting a flywheel of social upheaval. While our citizens may not be too talkative, but not dumb either, they know and understand everything, see and hear everything, everyone is well aware of the reality of their existence. The state is gradually losing the trust of citizens,” said State Duma deputy Olga Alimova.
Pronko, in turn, notes that it is not normal when society and the state are opposed. And the most striking example of this is the demographic situation in the country.
“Entire regions of Russia are dying out, and primordially Russian regions. The reason is still the same - poverty and misery of the population. And the further you analyze the demographic situation, the more you realize that, unfortunately, Russia is rapidly becoming a non-Russian state,” says the presenter.
The greatest losses, according to him, are observed in the Saratov, Kemerovo, Omsk, Tula, Volgograd, Nizhny Novgorod, Penza regions, in the Altai and Perm territories.
“The Penza region, which neighbors my native Samara region, where I was born, has lost 250 thousand of its population over the past 25 years. But the region is not in the Far North, but in comfortable climatic conditions, but people either leave or do not give birth, which leads to the extinction of the region. Russian regions such as Kaluga, Smolensk, Tula, Tambov, Oryol, Tver are also leading in population decline,” the presenter notes.
He notes that the population of Moscow and St. Petersburg is largely increasing solely due to visitors from neighboring countries. Thus, the Moscow region, which, like other Russian regions, showed negative dynamics and natural decline in 2019, grew only due to the migration influx.
“We are no longer surprised that entire sectors of the economy are given over to guest workers, but this is not normal when the indigenous population is losing ground in their state. I am not against foreigners coming to Russia, but it seems to me that they must undergo mandatory naturalization procedures - pass exams on knowledge of the Russian language, observe our customs and traditions. In the current Constitution, alas, there are no specific formulations that would reflect the importance of our people, our language and culture in the formation of the Russian state,” the presenter notes.
“There is no word “Russian” in the preamble. But this is still our land. We are united on our land. I also remind you that “Russian” is an adjective. And I remind you that in the 19th century, in the 18th century there were Russian Tatars and Russian Chechens, Russian Germans. So there is no Russian. Russian must appear in the preamble, at least in the form of the Russian language. What makes us one country? Our single culture is our single language, our common concepts, norms, and morals. These are all cultural and value concepts,” comments Konstantin Malofeev, deputy head of the World Russian People’s Council.
Pronko adds that people are tired of constantly having to survive, make ends meet in order to provide for their basic needs.
“The figures on income and savings speak about one thing - without increasing the well-being of Russian families, without observing the constitutional principle: Russia is a social state, it is impossible to change the demographic situation. Ordinary people must see, feel, realize that the state is not manipulating them, but has actually turned in their direction. Otherwise, the further we go, the more Russia will become a non-Russian state. Either we, as a people, will be reborn, or we will disappear from the face of our native land. There is no other option,” the presenter warns.
Please help me buy a car
14. We lived happily as a family, with a car and a house. But my husband died and my late husband’s brother took everything from us. I rented an apartment, but I can’t earn money for a car. Please help me buy a car. It’s inconvenient to get to work and take your child to kindergarten far away, and it’s cold. I work two jobs myself, and travel costs 150 rubles each time. I can't save money. So I decided to ask for help, maybe there are kind people who will help us buy a car. I'm not asking for dear. I hope that my letter reaches a kind person.
