We choose our own husband or wife. However, in order to feel true love in family life, you need to get to know each other, make friends, and then fall in love.
Many people falsely consider the first candy-bouquet period to be love.
After all, as soon as the romance goes away, the rose-colored glasses fall off, the partners face the first difficulties, the first tests of the relationship. And someone thinks that love has passed.
Devotion and patience are the main qualities of love. If you decide that “love is over” in your relationship, rest assured that it has not yet begun.
These seven stages of relationships will show you why true love and true relationships come with time:
Stages of development or illusory perception of reality
Where it all begins:
- Two people reach out to meet each other, inspired by an unknown feeling. They cannot think about anything, the time spent apart flies incredibly long and this is how the first months pass;
- Then comes a period of learning, when people begin to notice shortcomings, but for now, inspired by love, they put up with them. Unconditional acceptance works - you begin to conflict, but the same romantic mood supports thoughts of hopeless love, and you make compromises;
But over time (each couple has its own period), the feeling of inspiration passes - a normal phenomenon characteristic of everyone, and other stages begin:
- Conflict;
- Patience;
- Services.
Then we really assess the situation, notice the shortcomings, and they begin to irritate, you understand that there is still a lot in life that has not been explored, and you are already tied by obligations. Here it seems to us that love has passed
, after which usually either the stages of patience and service come, or people disperse.
Reviews
My love went away after about 8 years, only the habit remained.
smurfette
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/4296117/
We have been together for 35 years, but now I definitely love my husband more than in my youth. Over the years, you begin to value relationships, treat each other more carefully, and many reasons for quarrels now seem not worth attention.
Guest
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/4296117/
We've known each other for 7 years, we've been living together for 5. I loved him madly, very, very, very much, the love has passed. Not right away, grievances slowly accumulated, then he didn’t congratulate, then he didn’t give flowers, I’ve already said it directly and hinted and nothing. There were situations in life where he did not support me morally. And he looks at other women, evaluates them and tells me.
Anonymous
https://lady.mail.ru/forum/topic/proshla_ljubov_1455831608/
Our love ended a month after the wedding, before that we dated for two years, lived together for a year. I can’t say that I don’t love or hate my husband. I like him, he’s good, when he’s in a good mood (he’s often depressed), then everything is great. When the blues attack him, he can simply hang himself.
Faith
https://www.woman.ru/relations/marriage/thread/4296117/
Why are you unlucky in love?
Some claim that they are simply unlucky, so they cannot find a soul mate. Others are lucky, but they are not, the feelings don’t go well or they go, but not the same.
We won’t undertake to say for sure, but most likely there are several reasons and karma has nothing to do with it:
- Low self-esteem;
- Diffidence;
- Requests are too big.
Read any economics textbook, it says that for any buyer there is a product according to his wallet. To put this into simple language, how you present yourself is how others treat you.
Most likely, you either have a complex and this prevents you from building full-fledged relationships, or, on the contrary, you place too high demands on your partners. Both are shortcomings and must be dealt with.
You are lucky - you were born and live a full life, you can admire nature, go to work and communicate - do what some cannot do at all.
There are those who are truly unlucky - people with disabilities are not capable of much of what you can, however, read their stories. People find soul mates without arms, legs or sight and are quite happy. Think about it, are you really unlucky?
How to fix the situation?
Starting is always difficult. You seem to understand what to do, but how? It’s so difficult to change yourself and your usual way of life.
There are two main laws
, follow them and everything will work out:
- Change your behavior
. Most people (no matter men or women), according to surveys, are ready to tolerate unkempt hair and unshaven cheeks, but they will not tolerate rudeness, rudeness, stupidity and accessibility. If you are a girl, be affectionate, sweet, mysterious, and most importantly, caring and modest. If you are a guy, be determined, smart, reserved, and most importantly, caring. Everyone needs the same thing, attention and care. - And of course the appearance - you shouldn’t neglect it. Take care of yourself, you are overweight - take care of the problem, it can definitely be solved. Read the stories of people who, through incredible work, lost unnecessary pounds. Usually this is the main problem, but sometimes people are simply unkempt, in wrinkled clothes, with unkempt hair, nails, and face. Take a look in the mirror and you will understand which direction to move.
The main thing is not to expect that as soon as you start smiling and washing your face, everything will change. Live an ordinary life, love yourself and those around you, everything will work out.
