Life has lost its meaning - what to do, how to live on? Psychologist's advice

About the problem

This usually happens during depression. Although most often it is the loss of the meaning of life that causes this condition. During which you don’t want anything. A person is depressed, he does not experience joy, does not show interest in anything, and constantly feels tired. His speeches are pessimistic, he does not want and cannot concentrate, sometimes thinks about death or suicide, sleeps constantly or does not do so at all. And most importantly, there is a feeling of worthlessness, accompanied by feelings of fear, anxiety and even guilt.

Life has lost its meaning... There is so much pain in this phrase. And what is the reason for this problem? With a shortage of what a person needs most. For some, it’s a job and an opportunity to make a dizzying career. For others - a loved one, spending time together, tender feelings and passion. For the rest - a family with a bunch of children. For others, the meaning of life is immeasurable wealth. For others, it’s an opportunity to travel and develop. There can be countless examples. But it all comes down to one simple truth. Fortunately. Yes, this is the meaning of life - to be happy. Or, as they say, to be in a state of complete satisfaction with the conditions of one’s existence and being. This is the meaning of life. This phenomenon, by the way, is actively studied by occultism, theology, psychology and philosophy.

Unwillingness to live, what to do?

Inaction and when you don’t want anything, a program associated with an unwillingness to live is possible. Of course, you live, or rather exist, but your whole life is decay, constant depression, does this happen to you? Yes, this is another negative program from childhood that drowns all our desire to live and develop.

Or, as an option, all the problems come from your family, and in order to neutralize all problems associated with your family, it is better to go through the Hellinger constellation

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Eternal search

It’s a paradox, but many people understand that life has lost its meaning while... trying to find it. Such cases are not uncommon. Indeed, people who constantly think about the meaning of life are the most unhappy. They actively try to understand their desires, their own character and themselves. And many are not satisfied with the notorious answer to the eternal question, which assures that the meaning lies in happiness.

And then a person tries to find it in esoteric, philosophical and religious teachings, which, of course, do not give a clear answer to this question. Therefore, a person begins to look for it in music, literature, lyrics and even the natural sciences.

And in the overwhelming majority of cases, disappointment comes to him. He seems to have everything he needs for a fulfilling life - a job, close people, friends, a significant other, a good salary. But this no longer makes sense. Because the person was convinced: everything is decay. And slowly but surely he loses interest in everything. Begins to experience headaches, struggles with insomnia, and experiences chronic fatigue. And it’s very difficult to live like this. Trying to get distracted begins. In the best cases, a person is addicted to computer games. At worst, he drowns in alcohol and drugs. The most serious consequence is suicide. In general, real depression.

Understanding your importance

When wondering how to find the meaning of life, many people first need to determine their purpose, or more precisely, their role in society. What is meant here is not a narrow professional orientation, but what a particular person is like. A woman's role may not only be to be a wonderful mother or a caring spouse, but she may be the most responsible employee or a wonderful friend. The same applies to men. They do not have to be only the breadwinners of the family and a courageous shoulder for their weak other half. Perhaps the purpose of a particular man is that he is, first of all, an attentive son and a devoted brother, and only then everything else. To determine your importance, you can try to analyze what role a person is forced to play at the moment:

1. If this is a parent, then you need to try to find the most pleasant moments in this purpose. A child’s smile, his hugs and laughter, his silent gratitude for the help provided - all this forms in a person the awareness that this little or already big man needs him, who at a certain moment becomes his meaning of life.
2. If a person associates himself with a true friend, then he needs to more often remember those moments when a supportive word, practical advice, or just a timely friendly shoulder played a significant role in the life of his friend or girlfriend. This means that a specific period of time has already been lived not in vain and we should move further in this direction.
3. When a person is lonely and it is very difficult for him to decide on his social role, then it is worth thinking about something more global. Perhaps the talents of a true mentor are hidden in him, who can lead the younger generation along the true and correct path. Why not then change your professional activity and start doing something that will really give you an inner awareness of your own importance?
4. Many people perceive the role of a daughter or son as something taken for granted and does not require any changes in this direction. But perhaps it is for this man or this woman that such a role is the main purpose. And then the meaning of life will be to make your parents the happiest and give them those moments of joy for which life is worth living.

All this is only the first step towards finding the meaning of life.

What to do?

If life has lost its meaning, then you don’t want to do anything. For the first time, the turning point, so to speak, this is permissible. But then you need to act. Either yourself, or at the suggestion of someone close and caring. Many people turn to psychologists. Of course, there are effective tips. But there is no universal recommendation that helps everyone equally.

So what to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Start looking for answers. First, it is important to determine what is happening. After all, the essence lies not just in a bad mood, parting with a loved one or accumulated fatigue. The loss of the meaning of life cannot be compared with any sadness.

And we also need to remember that we are all controlled by desires. And they need to be satisfied. What could be worse than not having what you want? If you do not satisfy your own spiritual needs, you cannot avoid misfortune. And a void that needs to be filled. To begin to gradually get rid of hatred towards yourself and your body, those around you and the world in general, you need to remember what a person has always wanted. Let’s say, as an example, this is a trip to the sunny Dominican Republic, to the gentle sea. Through force, you need to re-ignite this desire. Start planning your trip, packing your things, choosing a hotel. There is a saying: “Appetite comes with eating.” And in this case too. The person will be inspired in the process. And the result will be the satisfaction of his main desire, which entails a feeling of fulfillment, self-sufficiency and pleasure.

Looking at yourself from the outside

There is one interesting practice that many can find the answer to the question of how to find the meaning of life. To do this, you first need to distract yourself from all obsessive thoughts and questions tormenting your consciousness. Then sit comfortably in a chair or on a sofa and try to imagine a situation where a person is given a chance to live his life again.

As a result, a picture is drawn in your head, similar to an autobiographical film, where all events unfold as the person would like. After this, you need to take a piece of paper and try to write down all those moments that were present in your imaginary life, but which you were never able to achieve in real life. And already, based on the information received, you can understand what exactly a person lacks in order to begin to consider his life filled with meaning. And knowing these points, it will be easier to move forward, since the main goals have been identified and all that remains is to achieve them.

You can also try to abstract yourself from everything that is happening and analyze all the achievements that a person already has. Perhaps it is precisely in what has already been done and what path has been traveled that the meaning of life lies. And in this case, according to an experienced psychologist, you need to be able to adequately assess yourself and your life, and not belittle the significance of your existence. Because in this case, the search for the meaning of life will only end in disappointment and prolonged depression.

Analysis

Everyone knows that this is a research method in which the object being studied is divided into separate parts for better understanding. Analysis is relevant not only to mathematics, programming and medicine. But also to the topic under discussion. What to do if you have lost the meaning of life? Analyze the current situation.

You need to evaluate your actions and identify mistakes. Nothing just happens. And the reason why a person found himself on the brink also has roots. But the most important thing is that you should never judge yourself. Everything has already happened. What has happened has passed. And now we need to find out why everything happened this way, so as not to repeat our mistakes in the future.

It is very important not to feel regret. This is a bad feeling that once again depresses a person. He must accept the moment as it is. And even in the most terrible, wild situation, try to find the positives. At least that life goes on. And in the future there is a chance to achieve success.

And even if a person has an incredibly difficult life, the story of which can bring tears to the most callous person in the Universe, there is no need to feel sorry for yourself for a long time. Yes, everything collapsed. The bottom is already, there is nowhere to fall further. Therefore you need to rise. With difficulty, through pain and torment. It can help to realize that the perception of everything around you is just a matter of adjustment. Yes, it is easier to reason than to worry about everything, but the person himself will come to this conclusion when he gets out of a deplorable state.

A little philosophy

The idea of ​​the meaning of life has come a long way from morality and general content for everyone to an individual approach to each individual person and to each moment. There are philosophers who argued that meaning is a utopia and does not exist, and some have dedicated their lives to helping others find meaning.

Today we will talk about meaning as a psychological concept, consider it as a problem of social psychology. Every person has potential, the realization of which is the meaning. But the latest research has shown another important component of the meaning of life.

Richard Ryan

Richard Ryan, a researcher at the University of Rochester, concluded that people who live their lives with meaning are more likely to have a more vibrant and mentally healthy mind in old age and have an increased life expectancy, unlike those whose life goal is to obtain pleasure, that is, simple consumption.

Satisfaction from social activities brings more meaning to life, this could be studying, volunteering, participating in public organizations, interest clubs. But he also cautioned that satisfaction from social activities cannot be achieved by simply forcing yourself into volunteer work, for example, in the hope of some kind of reward in the future.

It turns out that the meaning of life has two important components - the realization of your potential and activities aimed at the benefit of society, when you not only do something for yourself, but also for the world. But let's start with what is definitely not the point.

Release of emotions

If a person is overcome by the question “Why am I living?”, then it’s time to get a beautiful, clean notebook with a pen and turn it into a diary. This is a very powerful technique. And you shouldn't underestimate him.

“And what should I write in it?” - a person mired in depression will ask sluggishly, but with a grain of skepticism. And the answer is simple - everything. Absolutely anything. Thoughts can begin with any phrases and expressions - there is no need to structure and order them, because this is not an essay. A diary is a way to express your emotions. As a rule, a person who constantly asks the question “Why am I living?” does not want to come into contact with anyone. And emotions accumulate. So it’s better to reflect them on paper. Over time, this will become a habit. And then a person will notice that in his head, as well as on paper, there is no longer such confusion as was observed at the very beginning.

And then in your diary you can begin to note the results of your work on yourself. Is anyone stopping you from sketching out a small plan for the future?

By the way, when you feel better, you need to find something you like. It’s not for nothing that they say that a person is alive as long as he is interested in living. You need to find a hobby that not only brings pleasure, but also instills at least minimal optimism and joy. Maybe start breeding parrots? This will be a great idea, because everyone knows that our little brothers give boundless positivity, joy and help us get through life’s trials. After all, they love their owner infinitely. And love gives us strength.

For whom should one live?

People, having fallen into powerlessness and tired of looking for the reasons why they found themselves on the brink, begin to ask this question. Look for a reason from the outside, so to speak. Some, through force, begin to live for a loved one, parents, beloved pet or children. Maybe it helps. But the key phrase here is “through force.” Because the problem that affected a person directly and in the most immediate way remains unresolved.

You need to live for yourself. Selfish? Not at all. And even if yes, there is nothing wrong with healthy, productive selfishness. You need to stop thinking about what you can do for others. And finally, put yourself first.

By the way, often the cause of deep depression lies precisely in this. The fact is that man has never lived for himself. He did what was customary. Did what needed to be done. I tried to live up to the expectations of my parents or boss. I tried to meet generally accepted standards, so that “everything is like people’s.” Although deep down I wanted something completely different. And the realization of this usually comes at the moment when he is standing on the edge. But there is no need to despair. We must remember that there is enough time for everything that you really want to do. This is true. Because desires always subjugate time. And there is no need to wait - we need to start implementing them immediately. And then questions about why life has lost its meaning will fade into the background.

How to find meaning in life?

Let's look at what you need to do step by step to determine your meaning in life.

Analyze your life

Namely, analyze situations that often happened to you. For example, everything was going well and everything should have worked out for you, but at the last moment something suddenly went wrong. Remember all such situations, these are tips from the Universe. Also, recall situations in your memory when everything seemed to be against you, but in the end everything went better. This is also a hint from the Universe.

Let me make a reservation right away that if, for example, you wanted to win the speed skating marathon, but were too lazy to train for the allotted time, then the loss can be explained here. We are talking about situations in which you invested enough effort, or did not invest at all, but won.

By closing doors in front of us, the Universe leads us to the desired goal. Try to look at situations where everything went great for no apparent reason. What were you doing then? Who did you talk to? With what intentions did you do this? Next, try to direct your energies to similar activities.

For example, your sister got sick and didn’t have time to prepare a party for her child’s birthday and asked you to do it. You literally had a few days to prepare everything, but you managed to do everything and the children were happy. At the end of the day you felt pleasantly tired and happy. You were happy to give a holiday to the children, your soul sang, but you have been working as an accountant all your life. Think about your activities.

This exercise will help you find what you love and realize your professional potential. I wrote more about this in the article on how to find your calling.

Start meditating

Meditation teaches you to relax and concentrate on your inner sensations. This spiritual practice can be mastered by a beginner without a teacher. Knowing how to relax and “turn off” thoughts, you will be able to hear your soul - what you really want.

Go on a trip

So suddenly and leaving everything. Go to a new country, book a hotel there and live for at least 2 weeks.

Firstly, you will give up your usual way of life and will be able to look at it from the outside. Secondly, it is easier and more objective to solve internal problems, looking at them “from afar.”

When you sit in one place, it is difficult to find meaning in life and understand yourself and your true desires. Habitual life and bustle cloud the mind.

Get rid of toxic people from your life

The most difficult stage for many, but it gives more free space and positivity. If there is a person nearby who constantly criticizes, does not believe in you and drives you into complexes, then try to talk to him first, setting personal boundaries. If a person does not understand, stop communicating with him or at least minimize meetings. By throwing toxic people out of your life, you will breathe easier and gain confidence in yourself.

Create a strong foundation in life

For life to be happy and meaningful, it is important to have your own strong support. She will protect you from adversity and give you confidence in the future. A person’s life support consists of 6 components: body, relationships, profession, environment, necessary qualities and skills, spirituality. So do the following:

• Take a piece of paper and write down whether you are satisfied with your body (health, appearance). If not, what exactly does not suit you? Perhaps you need to undergo treatment, start eating right, lose excess weight, change your clothing style, etc. The body is the temple of the soul and it should be healthy, energetic and beautiful. Start with it, the body quickly lends itself to change and, watching how it gets better, you will have more confidence that you can change your whole life for the better.
• Then move on to relationships. Write if you are satisfied with them. If not, then you need to work on them: find common interests with your beloved man, spend more time together, communicate, and maybe even leave the person who does not value you.
• Analyze your profession in the same way. Does it bring you joy? What can be improved? Or should I change it?
• We have already talked about the environment. You need to get rid of toxic people and surround yourself with friendly and positive people.
• Look at your qualities and skills. Are you satisfied with them? Or you should learn something, develop some quality. For example, become more self-confident, loving, positive, learn a foreign language, learn to drive a car, etc.
• Spirituality is our main support. Do you believe in God? Have you found spiritual principles for yourself that you can rely on?

Say yes to everyone and everything

Of course, within reasonable limits. It's about new activities, trips and opportunities. You will never find meaning in life by sitting in one place. The more spontaneous meetings and trips there are, the better you will begin to hear yourself, and also understand the magnitude of your potential.

Answer yourself these questions:

1. What do you want? Of course, household little things immediately come to mind: painting the walls, changing the ceilings, etc. But the brain wants it, and the soul doesn’t want it. To answer this question for yourself, try to retire, preferably go to a quiet place. Then relax and dream. Don't be afraid to think about something big and difficult to accomplish at the moment.
2. What brings you pleasure? Take a piece of paper or buy a notepad. From today, you will write down everything that brings you pleasure there. For example, you spent time with the children and were happy, we write it down, we decorated the home and received a wave of positive emotions from this, we also write about this in a notebook. The key to understanding the meaning of your life lies in what brings you happiness. The meaning of life cannot look like a “terrible burden”, in which case it is not what you are looking for.
3. When do you feel inspired? When does your soul sing? When you are overwhelmed with emotions and the energy surges with such force as if you drank 3 liters of energy drink? Keep a separate notebook for this and record your states. It is important to prescribe the activity and write specifically about the emotions received.

Powerful technology (video)

There is one simple and effective technique that will help you find your meaning in life.

Forget everything

This is another effective method. He is able to help. Anyone - be it a man drowning in depression, or a woman who has lost the meaning in life. The psychologist's advice is as follows: you need to sweep away the past. Forget him. Throw it out of your memory forever. The past often pulls a person down, like a stone to the bottom of a river, tied to the foot of a drowned man.

We need to burn all bridges. Break contacts with unpleasant people with whom the person was forced to communicate. Quit the job you hate. Was your boss oppressive? So you can finally express to his eyes everything that has accumulated in your soul. Divorce your legitimate “other half”, with whom there is no longer any chance of establishing a life. Move from a boring and hated city to another place. In general, we are talking about the beginning of a truly new life. The one that everyone loves to talk about today.

And here’s the most important thing: with every action a person performs, he must pass through himself the awareness that he is becoming a new person. Not who he was. You can even consolidate this with visualization - change your appearance (haircut, hair and contact lens color, image, tan, etc.). All this may not be taken seriously by some. But, again, it only seems so from the outside. After doing all of the above, a person will look around, look at himself in the mirror, and understand that he is already different. And he has no right to return to his old life.

Break

When thoughts like “What am I doing?” begin to appear in a person’s head. and “What am I doing with my life?”, it’s time to pause. Preferably long term. In order not to completely wallow in despondency and not fall into real depression, you need to urgently take a vacation, rent a house by the lake or in the forest and go there. A sharp change in the situation and unity with nature saved a considerable number of people.

What after? Then you will need to give yourself answers to the notorious questions “What am I doing?” and “What am I doing with my life?” Realize what exactly causes discomfort. Why exactly is there dissatisfaction and when did these questions actually arise? And then - find solutions to problems. Maybe find a new meaning in life. As a rule, people who take a break in time and deal with the oppression that has begun to accumulate do not reach the edge and do not fall into deep depression.

By the way, a break is not complete without planning the near future and setting goals. They, like the meaning of life, should be in every normal person who wants to be an accomplished person. Goals do not have to be global (buy a villa in Spain, switch from a Lada to a Mercedes, start an investment business, etc.). They must be feasible. And the kind for which I would like to wake up in the morning. It is desirable that the goals be long-term. Three is enough. It’s better to write them down in the notorious diary. It might look like this: “Goal No. 1: save up for a year to vacation in Greece. #2: Do 5 minutes of exercise every morning. No. 3: improve English to a conversational level.” Goals should motivate and set you up for positive life changes. This is the main principle of their production.

Help your neighbor

It’s not easy for a person on the edge. But the depressive state he experiences also affects people close to him, who begin to think: how to help a person who has lost the meaning of life?

That's a very difficult question. There is no universal answer. It all depends on individual psychological characteristics. What helps one person may not lift another out of depression.

One thing is certain. Someone who knows him well has a chance to help a person. A person who is well acquainted with the specific characteristics of his loved one can roughly guess what actions need to be taken to make him feel better. The main thing is to avoid standards that usually demonstrate nothing but indifference, even if the person really wanted to help. These are phrases such as “Everything will be fine”, “Don’t worry, life will get better”, “Just forget!” etc. You need to forget about them. A person faces a problem: the meaning of life is lost, how to live on? No “Just forget it!” out of the question.

So what to do? To begin with, just come to the person. A simple “How are you?” may well make him want to share. But not the psychological “Do you want to talk about it?” It is necessary to avoid pressure and do everything that usually lifts his mood. Unless, of course, he drives away the well-wisher. In this case, there is no need to be offended - he feels bad, the turning point has not yet passed (if a long time does not pass, then, unfortunately, you will have to see a doctor for antidepressants).

So, you can quietly turn on his favorite music or TV series, bring his favorite food and drinks, and start talking about the topic that interests him the most. Little things? Perhaps, but they will, at least a little, help restore a person’s taste for life.

Methodology of the last day of life

This is the last thing I would like to talk about. When a person is depressed and no longer sees the meaning in his existence, it does not hurt to think: what if this day of life was the last? The thought of the imminent disappearance of all reality will cheer everyone up. Of course, when a person is alive and well, he has enough time for depression, sadness and despondency. It sounds exaggerated, but it's true. But as soon as he thinks about the fact that he only has 24 hours left, everything takes on a different meaning, not to mention the fact that a rethinking of values ​​occurs.

And when there is no desire to exist, it is worth using this technique. Live this day like it’s your last. Perhaps after this the desire to exist will flare up again.

Losing the meaning of life is the worst thing that can happen. And it would be better if no one went through this. But in any case, the most important thing is to hope for the best in the depths of your soul. And act. After all, as the great American writer Jack London said: “Man is given one life. So why not live it properly?”

Answer 42

If you don’t know where the answer 42 to “the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything” comes from, read the super-duper novel “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams. Very humorous, completely absurd and most importantly inspiring.

But here a little is not about that, but about the fact that the meaning of life can be divided into physical and spiritual. For the physical meaning of life, concepts such as financial development, procreation, raising healthy offspring that will compete with other human individuals, building a house, planting a tree, etc. are suitable.

Read more: Midlife crisis in men. How to solve?

For the spiritual meaning of life, of course, the following are suitable: spiritual development, elimination of all negative emotions, love for one’s neighbor, development of kindness and love. Here I will explain, it happens that a person lives in complete doom, is angry in himself or is touchy, and even worse there are people stuck in feelings of guilt or self-pity. And they live in constant stress, although they could abandon the negative model of behavior in favor of a positive one. After all, you would like to abandon the negative in favor of the positive, right?

It is clear that you want something, but you don’t know how, that’s why you need to work with the subconscious in order to eliminate all negative scenarios in life, in order to obtain happiness and peace in life. Read about it here.

Advantages of developing spirituality:

• Kindness to the world and everyone around you
• Spiritual development
• Love for yourself and your neighbor
• The people around you love you
• Elimination of diseases
• Clearing your karma
• Become rich and successful
• Ideal relationship
• Materialization of thoughts
• Ideal figure

Everything that I described above is related to spirituality, most likely you will not agree with this, but I assure you that a person who is spiritually upgraded can afford everything from the list above.