How to survive failure
Every person has hard times. Some people cope with them more easily; for others, failures become an insurmountable burden in life. What's the secret? Why do some people cope with life's difficulties? Practicing psychologist Carol Morgan has developed several rules on how to survive failure.
We accept the situation
Our experiences only happen if we refuse to accept reality. If something can be changed, then action must be taken. But if nothing can be done, then there are two options. The first is to accept the situation and overcome the negativity. The second is to savor your failures and suffer.
There is no definition of "failure"
Carol advises eliminating the words “failure”, “failure”, “I’m unlucky again” from your vocabulary. It is worth remembering that all great people faced failure before their success. They didn't give up and learned from their mistakes.
What failure looks like in our eyes
It all depends on the point of view; if trouble is a global problem, then it will fill all emotions and thoughts with negativity. Sometimes it helps to think that a situation is a lesson and something you can learn from.
In most situations, external reality is our internal program. We want to think that circumstances change us. But in fact, they often appear because of our attitude. How to survive troubles? You can start changing yourself to change the situation.
If it doesn't work out now, then the best is on the way.
Carol Morgan says that often good things happen after something goes wrong. For example, getting fired from your job seems like a disaster. But over time, it turns out that this event helped me find my calling. Morgan recommends trusting that everything is as it should be.
Let go of desires
How to survive failure? Do not attach great importance to your desires. Many people, not getting what they wanted, fall into negativity. It is worth trying to be happy regardless of getting what you want.
Let us experience joy
Morgan says he knows a lot of people who literally forbid themselves to have fun. They are very dependent on their problems, internal chaos, that they cannot understand how to cope with difficulties. The psychologist advises focusing your attention not on difficulties, but on joys.
Avoid comparison
Yes, let someone have better times now, but why not look at those who are worse off than you? Many people live in a state of poverty, disease, and hunger. What great thing do you have that you can be proud of? What is worth living for in order to survive a difficult period in life?
I'm not a victim
We ourselves create the image of a victim and an unhappy person in our thoughts. It is worth taking personal responsibility, going through difficulties, coping with your thoughts and actions. The psychologist recommends giving up the image of a victim and becoming a winner.
Everything will change
How to survive difficult times? It seems to us that there is no way out of their difficult situation. But there will be changes, nothing lasts forever, you need to give up the habit of thinking that everything will remain this way forever.
Carol Morgan advises believing that miracles are possible. You need to believe that happy events will happen soon. How to overcome difficulties in life? Sometimes you just have to believe in miracles.
— How to learn to take difficulties lightly.
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The essence of a simple attitude to any problem is as follows:
1) Rest assured, this is a temporary phenomenon. Nothing lasts forever, including difficulties. It won't always be like this!
2) Everything that happens in a person’s life, he is able to overcome. Cultivate self-confidence in your abilities. Over time, it will become your unshakable quality;
3) If you feel bad, help someone whose situation is even worse. Then you will understand how happy you are;
4) You cannot involve different kinds of emotions when you are trying to solve a problem. It takes away energy and deprives you of strength. Learn to see only the essence of the problem, as well as ways to solve it. Determine your capabilities and gradually eliminate the consequences of the difficulties that arise.
5) Don't worry about future possible troubles. Anticipating possible difficulties, just be prepared to solve them. Do everything possible to prevent an unfavorable scenario from developing. Once you have done your job, be satisfied with your actions: it is impossible to predict everything. However, to a greater extent, you will be ready for any troubles and will easily cope with them;
6) Focus on the positive aspects of your life. Even when restoring a destroyed house, you can think not about your loss, but about the future new, even better house. Learn to enjoy life despite any adversity, be grateful for what you have. The feeling of well-being will not leave you if you learn to appreciate everything you have;
7) Be prepared for losses. This is an integral part of our life. While we lose something, we still gain something. You need to be able to see the positive, beneficial sides in any situation;
There is no use in being angry because difficulties have arisen. Just try to quickly cope with the situation, without wasting your strength, without complaining about fate. By mentally or out loud repeating your complaints, you attract more and more troubles;
9) Be active, work physically. Even a simple jog can remove heavy thoughts, making it easier to cope with a difficult situation;
10) Stop complaining and make efforts to overcome a difficult situation. Think, look for a way out, direct all the energy of your thoughts to find a solution and simply do the necessary work;
11) Having dealt with the problem, rejoice from the bottom of your heart! Capture a useful experience in your memory. Everything that does not kill us strengthens us. You have become stronger, more confident, wiser.
There are really difficult situations in life, deep grief, when we lose loved ones, ability to work, our health, property. Then use these tips:
1) Repeat to yourself: “I will overcome this!” Ask God for help. If you don't believe in God, ask the Universe for strength. These forces will come, rest assured! We attract what we think about. When you ask the world for strength, you will certainly receive it.
2) Ask your loved ones for help if you feel like you can’t cope with the situation. Often human participation fills the soul with new strength, relieves tension, and negative emotions go away;
3) Choose the right thoughts: those that create, not destroy. After the storm there will always be sunshine.
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How to deal with problems
Problems do not allow you to live in peace, there is no strength left, the difficult period has dragged on. How to survive problems? Recommendations:
- We make lists. We describe all the difficulties point by point. When information is transferred to paper, the head is freed. We arrange them in order of importance. What needs a quick solution? What can be left to chance? What situations can we let go of? As a result, there won't be many problems left. We pay attention to the most important ones and develop a solution plan.
- Let's leave the worry. How to cope with problems without anxiety? Let us spend 30 minutes a day worrying, during which time we list all the horrors of what could happen. We spend the rest of our time searching for a solution.
- There is no need to blame anyone for your troubles. Only we ourselves are responsible for our lives. Negativity, anger and envy towards other people will only slow down the way out of a difficult situation.
- Letting go of the past. We try to live here and now. No need to hold grudges. Look for patterns of events in the past. The situation has already happened, no one knows how life would have turned out, whether it would have become more difficult or easier for you.
Video: speech by Viktor Frankl, a psychologist and concentration camp survivor. He managed to take this terrible experience as the basis for his scientific research.
Psychologists about life's difficulties
Many classics of psychology wrote about how to cope with problems and get through a life crisis. But the most famous work belongs to Viktor Frankl, it is called “Psychologist in a Concentration Camp.” His life itself is an overcoming; he survived in inhuman conditions. People died before his eyes, they were insulted and humiliated.
What helped Frankl survive? He followed his concept, the psychologist assures that in difficult conditions it is not those who have a healthy body who survive, but only those who have a strong spirit. His books and concept of perseverance have helped millions of people around the world find meaning in life.
How to deal with failures? Grow spiritually, don’t give up, look for the meaning of life and believe in the best.
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Psychologists have identified 8 reasons that will help you not just “have your head in the clouds,” but use your rich imagination to achieve prosperity and success in life. Dreams have the power to become real, so your imagination needs to be used now.
1. Any dream can define a goal.
Dreams can be productive. Whenever a certain image is formed in our head, the brain perceives this as a command for active action. Don't just indulge in fantasies. Put your thoughts into real forms and formulate goals. This will help you set yourself up for success and organize your activities correctly.
2. Dreams are a way to release energy.
If you dream about something specific, then you give your body an impetus to mobilize resources. You release additional energy that can lead you to success. Thanks to dreams, we send very specific impulses to our thinking, forcing it to work and analyze information. Thus, your dreams become the very impulse that will help you achieve what you want.
3. With the help of fantasies, we develop creative inclinations.
Creativity is directly related to our dreams. The work of the brain reveals our creative abilities, which everyone can develop to the level of a professional. It is important not to miss the opportunity to really do what your soul requires. A dream activates neural connections that give a person innovative thinking and help him find sources of inspiration not only within the mind, but also in the outside world.
4. With the help of dreams we move forward.
Dreams help a person begin to act, and not just indulge in idle fantasies. Any action usually begins with a dream, which turns into an idea and action. For those who cannot dream, it is much more difficult to get down to work and force themselves to move in the right direction.
5. Dreams help overcome difficulties in life.
Any positive dream will warm you in the most difficult moments. With the help of fantasies, you can switch from pressing problems to fantasies. This way of thinking can tell you the right decision even when you are not awake.
6. Dreams serve as inspiration.
Inspiration cannot be described in words, just as it is impossible to find it at any given time. Dreamers, more often than other people, can find inspiration and begin to create their own destiny, painting it with bright colors. People capable of dreams are able to create masterpieces of indescribable beauty from literally nothing.
7. Dreams develop love for the profession.
A person understands that his work will be rewarded, so he begins to dream about what he can do to gain pleasure and the desire to be ahead. Each work creates an opportunity to dream up, and even find a shortcut to achieving what you dream of.
8. A dream can come true.
Not all of our fantasies will be real, but most of them have a chance to become our reality. The psychological method of visualization is based on the fact that a person begins with a thought, which he builds in such a way that it seems real and perfect to him. It is at this moment that the brain receives a signal to action, which will be the first step towards having what you dreamed of.
Do not forget, however, that going into the world of illusions can significantly harm your daily life. It is worth distinguishing between castles in the air and the desire to hide from strangers from real goals. Dreams cannot replace you or your actions, so you should use your fantasies as a way of self-realization.
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14.07.2017 13:08
