Live for today
The ability to live with the joy of today is happiness. Happiness is not a distant goal, but a natural way to travel if we have this golden habit: enjoying the simple things that always surround us.
You walk out of the house onto the street and the vastness of the bright sky and the dense freshness of the air spill over you. You walk down the street - birds sing to you, trees wave their branches, and you can run whenever you want. In the evening you will come home, it will be warm and cozy, you can turn on the yellow light and drink tea with lemon from a steaming cup...
Anyone who knows how to see this and live by it will answer the question about happiness: “Always!”
But “living in the present” can be different. At the Sinton forum, when this chapter was discussed: “Living in the future,” Alexandra responded with an objection: “Living in the present.” I liked it - she wrote it strongly. But it seems to me that she wrote about something else: about what? How will you read this? Word to Alexandra:
In distant sunny childhood, everything was “Later!”
Then I’ll do my homework, but for now I’ll go for a walk... Then I’ll do exercises every day, and now I’ll spend half a day drawing up a beautiful “Daily Routine” in a frame... Then I’ll find my Calling, and now I’ll graduate from this institute so that I have a crust... Then - I’ll have there will be a crazy romance with such a guy that all the girls will turn green with envy... but for now I’ll go ride a motorcycle with the cheerful goof Vaska...
Then I will be beautiful, rich and happy, I will go on business trips to London and Paris, write a book and learn to water ski... someday...
AND THEN - their children were born, and “then” was gone. I cannot put off writing a test until tomorrow if I have a free half hour today. Because tomorrow it is unknown whether I will have this half an hour. I cannot put off educational games with children, because they need to be taught now, while they are little. And I cannot become rich, beautiful and successful later - because they need to set an example today. I will do everything I can right now. Everything I want, I want today!
Then there will be diapers and chicken pox, sleepless nights and fatigue, endless tasks, more and more responsibilities and expenses, the first wrinkles, then it will become increasingly difficult to lose weight or learn French. Tiny houses in the south of France will become more and more expensive, a cozy chair and a blanket will become more and more attractive, it will become more and more difficult to compete with the young and hot... Therefore, you need to do it now! While I can. For now, the most important thing is that I want it. Until someone else wrote about what I wanted to write about... Until someone else bought that wrecked wreck by the sea that needed repair, which I saw yesterday in a dream...
If you don't think about the future...
In my opinion, this is not about “living in the present”, but about the inability to organize your future. This is about those who were engaged in empty dreaming, without turning their dreams into concrete plans. Those who lazily planned, seemed to plan, but did not do it. About those who did bullshit, who lived uncollectedly, distractedly and in a swing.
You can lose the present!
Indeed, if you do this for a long time, life is wasted, time is wasted and starting opportunities are lost. And when time has passed and life has pressed you, when it’s really hot, it really becomes difficult to think about the future... Now, when there is no more time and operational space is lost, you just need to spin in the “now”, plugging the holes and forbidding yourself to dream and plan, because sad I already have experience and conclusions have been drawn: planning is useless for me, dreaming is stupid for me.
Those who do not know how to plan for the future are forced to quickly hustle. And live only in the present.
I think you will prefer a big and free future to a forced and petty present. But you will have to work for him. Work and think. To even think about whether it’s right to be friends with the cheerful goofball Vaska...
Arrow of Time
Instead, it is necessary to consider the moment in time lasting now as a continuation of one line. We must look back, remembering the best moments. Time is fleeting and the present moment is elusive. When we concentrate on the present moment, it already becomes the past.
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Confidence in the present
The past determines the confidence in the present. So, for example, if you have a great morning, you will probably have a great rest of the day. Why is this happening? Based on recent memories, you have intentionally programmed yourself for success. What we remember about our recent past (yesterday, week or month), our feeling from what we experienced, largely determines our confidence in the present. Thus, by living every moment from the point of view of the past, you accumulate memories and feel proud of your actions. This information is truly priceless, and success develops in a spiral.
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To get the most out of time, lose track of it.
When you are absorbed in an interesting activity, you stop following. This happens when we enjoy what we do. We also don’t count time when we sleep. But you can’t just throw yourself into an activity without wanting to, so it’s important to create optimal conditions for such activities.
Choose an interesting goal that will teach you something new. It shouldn't be so hard that you feel stressed while moving towards it, and it shouldn't be so easy that you feel bored in the process.
To do something well, stop thinking about it
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We often feel like others are evaluating us every minute. For example, in a dance lesson you cannot relax because you know that you don’t know how to dance and you look funny in the eyes of others. Fear of judgment prevents people from trying new things. But every person is too busy with themselves to constantly celebrate your failures.
If something really scares you—speaking in public, having to talk on the phone to a stranger, or going to the gym for the first time—don't focus on it. This will only increase your fear.
Try to focus less on yourself. Pay more attention to what is happening around you. Recognize yourself as part of what is happening, and not the only actor. This will help you cope with emotions and react correctly to the environment. This way you can work on your weaknesses.
Video: Learning to enjoy life
When we act aimlessly and only react to what happens every day, we drive ourselves into limits. Our character softens, we gradually lose the ability to set tasks for ourselves in accordance with our plans, and only the strength remains to react.
We move in the flow, we are influenced by the desires and goals of other people. Only years later does understanding come to us - we finally wake up and realize that we wasted our time pointlessly. Deep feelings and suffering arise, but it may already be too late to change anything. All this can be avoided if you stop living under pressure and take control of your life.
Magic formula
Based on the Carrier method, which the engineer himself successfully used for more than 30 years, Carnegie proposed a simple formula that allows you to overcome anxiety in a difficult situation, gain calm, the ability to think logically and act:
- You should imagine and fully understand the worst events that will result from the situation.
- Be prepared to accept the worst if it becomes inevitable. You can relax and free your thoughts, and get out of the blinding darkness of anxiety, only by realizing that you will have to come to terms with the worst situation if necessary. Then energy is released, which is wasted on worries about the future and indignation about what happened.
- After this, you can calmly think about what means to use to change the situation.
Over the decades, this formula has helped many thousands of people stand on their feet in the face of an unexpected storm of everyday adversity, allowing them to think, decide, and act under the most difficult circumstances.
The book has 27 chapters that can be united by a single call: “Get rid of worries, live for today!” Quotes, vivid examples, and stories given in Carnegie’s book make the manual a fascinating textbook. It reveals the secret of how to analyze the mechanism of worry, control it and find peace of mind by enjoying today.
Memories of experiences are more important than feelings
It may sound a little strange, but a person's memories of past experiences are more important than the experiences themselves. The moments we spend with family, children and loved ones cannot last forever. A day passes, vacation ends, and a new year begins. The children have grown up and now have their own lives. What's left but the photographs that capture the most amazing moments? Memories of those days do not go away, they are etched into the memory, in fact, being an invaluable experience.
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"Delayed life syndrome"
Postponing life for later is a psychological problem of not-so-lucky people in modern society, and the scenario of such procrastination develops in two directions:
a person’s life for the sake of one or two goals in the future (an expensive car or apartment, career growth) does not give the slightest chance for a little happiness in the present day - because true happiness, in the opinion of such a person, is possible only by achieving the goal he has set; living someone else's life - active participation in other people's events, all kinds of help to other people without paying attention to your own needs and desires.
This focus on future achievements and the miraculous emergence of a happy life allows you to avoid problems and conflicts with others, and responsibility for your own not very successful life. At the same time, people do not think that small joys are possible every day, but problems get worse over time, and their resolution will take much more internal resources.
Set your priorities
One of the problems that prevents us from achieving our goals is the difficulties we think about. We often think we have to do something when we don't. Think about whether you do something without desire, without seeing the point in it, just out of habit.
Is this really necessary or useful? To figure out what is important in your life, use - 20% of your actions bring 80% of the results. Find out what exactly that 20% includes and pay more attention to it, and take a fresh look at the remaining 80%. Try to invest less time and effort into them, making room for something useful.
Make a plan so that nothing distracts you. Write down all your affairs in detail. This way you will no longer have to be distracted while working and remember what else needs to be done. You can use the simplest planning. The main thing is that it is sufficiently detailed.
