Family education: styles and types. Their characteristics and influence on the child

The family is the first social institution in a child’s life. The basics of personality laid down by the family in the first years of life will not be changed or replaced by either kindergarten or school in the future. What a person is like in adulthood is largely the result of family upbringing. Which styles and types of family upbringing create geniuses and which create criminals? Is there such a connection at all? And is there a “counterbalance” to family education? Let's figure it out.

“A child can be nurtured without love, but education devoid of love and human warmth will never succeed in making him an independent person.” - Donald Winnicott.

Primary socialization of the child as the main function of the family

In psychological terms, the family determines the primary socialization of the child. Kindergarten, school, university – secondary socialization. Naturally, the primary is more important. It lays down the basic ways an individual reacts to problems, behavior patterns, and attitudes. What is meant by primary socialization:

mastering language and emotional structure;
mastering the basic value norms and meaningful ideas of society.

The purpose of primary socialization in the family is to form in the child social responsibility and the ability to subordinate the individual to the general.

A child's socialization goes through imitation and identification.

Through imitation, the child learns elements of culture, skills, traditions, and rituals. But for imitation, that is, imitation, there must be an example. And these are the parents.
Identification is the acceptance of norms and beliefs as one’s own (or non-acceptance). At this stage, all is not lost. And even if the family is dysfunctional, but the child is influenced more favorably from the outside, he may not accept the example of his parents. A clear example: in a family of alcoholics, children usually have two scenarios: to repeat the image of their parents or, on the contrary, to categorically not accept alcohol. There is very rarely a middle ground.

When family members fail to fulfill their responsibilities and rights, disharmony occurs in the family. Due to disharmony – dysfunction. When the family and other institutions of public education are dysfunctional, maladaptation of the child and social maladjustment arise as a mass phenomenon. This in turn leads to desocialization, which is what is observed in modern society.

Educational potential of the family

The family is the link between the child and society and other social institutions. Moral standards, rules, morality are laid down in the family, moreover, in the first 5 years of a child’s life. Such universal human values as honesty, justice, kindness, loyalty, generosity, selflessness, etc. are formed.

Otherwise, selfish behavior and destructive aspirations (aggression, hostility, anger, hatred) may develop. Ultimately this will probably lead to immoral behavior. Then the person will pose a danger to society and himself. Therefore, the value of family education is limitless for society.

As part of family education, the following is carried out:

patriotic;
ethnocultural;
aesthetic;
moral;
physical;
sex and gender education.

The family is the first pedagogical system into which a child finds himself. Moreover, he is constantly in this system. This means that every parent’s action, word, gesture has educational significance. Family education is carried out constantly, every day, within the framework of the shared life of children and parents.

This is the uniqueness of family education: its continuity and duration, its more emotional nature and lasting influence.

In the modern world there is a decline in the educational potential of the family. There are several reasons for this:

lack of time for upbringing due to excessive workload of parents;
lack of time spent together and communication between children and parents;
the growing value gap between generations, and as a consequence - their alienation;
increasing the influence of external unfavorable factors on the microclimate in the family.

As a result, the relationship between parents and children suffers quantitatively and qualitatively. Firstly, there is a lack of time together. Secondly, there is a lack of understanding and trust in the relationship.

The personal characteristics of the parents also have a significant impact on the family. Negatively affects:

instability, inconsistency of personality;
inadequate self-esteem;
diffidence;
egocentrism;
accentuated character traits;
excessively expressed nature of processing of feelings and experiences;
inflexibility of thinking.

The attitude of the parents towards the child will determine the attitude of the child towards himself later.

A terrible parent is the best parent (the principle of the “imperfect” parent)

Renowned motivational leader LaLei Hancock noted:

“…when I allow myself to be a terrible parent, I become the best parent I can be to my children.”

Parenthood, alas, is usually perceived as a difficult, overly responsible and, at the same time, thankless job...

Children, especially babies, seem so vulnerable, weak and unprotected that parents are exhausted, trying to protect them from all possible dangers of this world. As a result, the child’s world consists of almost nothing but “don’ts”!

Think for yourself, can a strong, independent and intelligent personality be formed with this approach? After all, it is in early childhood, at the stage of the most active exploration of the world, that the little man is literally not allowed to take a step... They wrap him up, take care of him, feed him, put him in soft enclosures, and panic at the first sneeze.

But it’s not for nothing that there is a wonderful Russian proverb (by the way, it has analogues in other languages) “Seven nannies have a child without an eye.”

What conclusions did my husband and I come to during our parenthood?

To simple ones:

Protect children and yourself as much as possible from the negative influence of society;
Do not try to play the role of “the best mom and dad”;
Do not interfere with the baby’s natural needs to understand the world and demonstrate his independence.

That's all.

It’s a pity that such an understanding does not immediately enter into practice. Although we have been living alone for a long time, practically in the forest, nevertheless, with our eldest daughter, we also made a lot of trouble. They were too inexperienced and categorical...

And now I limit the children in almost nothing.

Sometimes they hang out on the street all day in T-shirts and panties, when we are freezing in sweaters. They run barefoot for six months. They swim in cold water and wade through dirty puddles barefoot. They catch frogs, butterflies and beetles. They taste everything, especially before they are a year old. They wash their hands poorly and rarely brush their teeth. They refuse to eat healthy foods and often stuff their mouths with cookies.

They also watch cartoons whenever and as much as they want (though we don’t have TV, everything is only recorded and only what suits us). Cuddling with a cat, dog, calf. From childhood they cut with scissors, the eldest already wields a knife and a small scythe with might and main (she cut herself only once in a couple of years, just a little). They run around the forest, and have been bitten by ticks, midges, and mosquitoes since early spring.

No vaccinations. No violence in nutrition or education (we teach our children at home, not at school ). There is no forced work - the eldest helps herself, willingly and a lot, sometimes works like an adult (6 years old). There are only a few hard “don’ts”: gas, stoves (although they help carry and stack firewood), seat belts in the car and some special cases.

What if I behave really badly sometimes?..

The hardest thing is not to judge ourselves for the fact that we sometimes behave inappropriately with children. Sometimes we break into a scream and freak out. We get angry, irritated, tired and grumble at our children for no reason. Sometimes we don’t pay attention to them for too long, we don’t respond to the endless “whys” and “whys,” getting off with phrases like “Then, I don’t know, I’m tired, leave me alone...”

But you know, it’s very important to learn not to judge yourself for this, otherwise children will subconsciously perceive this as a “condemn yourself for everything” program. Don't worry and don't dwell on your weaknesses and mistakes.

There is no need to pretend to be ideal parents - let your children perceive you as living people and learn to understand your mood. This way they train to understand and accept life in different manifestations – both negative and positive. Children rejoice when they begin to realize that adults also make mistakes, also look for answers, and also ask questions. It brings us closer together!

It is only important to apologize in time if you have unfairly offended or punished a child. Admit your guilt - and the baby will also admit it when he is wrong. After all, this is one of the most important joint lessons in life - learning to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

All lessons are important for children - all energy spectrums must be involved. It is in the balance of good and bad, dark and light, that the correct perception of the world and the ability to live in balance are born. Allow yourself to be yourself if you are a parent.

Only mutual love should remain unchanged. And all will be well!

What you definitely can’t do!

What do you think? Feelings, even the most unpleasant ones, can be expressed. Spanking... You know, I was once uncompromising on this issue. When there were no children, of course! And now I don't know. All children are so different! Sometimes one slap on a soft spot can replace a ton of educational speeches. Of course, I try not to resort to this dubious method. But sometimes I break down, I admit.

And yet this is not the worst thing.

The worst thing is to compare your child with others . Sometimes it seems to me that this is precisely the main root of our children’s misfortune. And once again I thank life that I don’t have to compare my children with others because of their absence on our horizon. No, we have guests with children, and we ourselves go to “civilization,” but this is all short-lived.

I know myself. I am a rather suspicious, always doubting person, even though now I am much calmer than before. But still, even knowing that you can’t compare children, I definitely wouldn’t have resisted. Does he already know how to read? What is that one wearing? And how terribly this one behaves in the store, not like mine!.. And this one was sent to an elite school, but can I do it?..

And this is how the parent engages in self-destruction, either feeling a sense of superiority (I’m not snotty!..), or being tormented by remorse (of course, these can afford to fly to Thailand)... This is very bad for the parental “I” and the children subconsciously read all this dregs, they also begin to compare their parents with others...

And the worst thing is if you start reproaching your child: “The neighbors Vanya is so neat and helps his mother all the time! And you...” “But Dasha is studying for straight A’s, but you just can’t learn the multiplication tables!” And so on. And we understand what we are doing! We understand that we are forming an inferiority complex in the child, that now he will spend his whole life looking at how others do, envying in some places, striving to surpass others in others, and being complacent in others.

This is how the healthy integrity of the soul is destroyed, feelings for others become cloudy, uncertain... And all this will poison life, distort it, make you forget what real kindness and humanity are. Now, on the estate, for many years now, my husband and I have been gradually freeing our “I” from under these rubble. You begin to see and perceive others differently. And children have the opportunity to simply preserve this integrity of perception, to save their souls from trauma and distortion. And that's great!

Tasks of family education

The tasks of family education include the following:

Creating the most favorable conditions for the spiritual, physical and moral development of the child.
Ensuring the socio-economic and psychological protection of the child in the family.
Transferring the experience of creating and maintaining a family, raising children in it.
Teaching children the necessary skills to care for themselves and loved ones.
Developing self-esteem.
Formation of the child’s social activity and social resistance to the negative influence of the environment.

Principles of family education

The principles of family education that determine the successful development of the child include:

humanity (children are easy when they are welcome, and not vice versa);
openness and trust in relationships;
sequence of requirements;
favorable socio-psychological climate in the family;
inclusion of children in family life;
help and support of the child in any situation.

Accordingly, the following are considered good conditions for education:

emotionally positive relationship between spouses;
love and respect of family members;
attention and discipline;
spending time together;
physical contact with children (hugs, stroking).

Key features of preschool psychology

A characteristic feature of preschool age is the active development of attention, memory, speech, and thinking.
Throughout the preschool period, the child's involuntary attention predominates, which over time begins to turn into voluntary attention.

The child begins to consciously hold or direct certain objects.

REFERENCE. Voluntary concentration on something can last about 30 minutes.

Similar processes occur with memory. Until the age of 7, children develop voluntary visual and auditory memory. At the end of the preschool period, the child should already have visual-figurative thinking. Logical thinking begins to actively develop.

This helps the child learn to identify the characteristics of individual objects, learn to compare and generalize them. By the age of 6-7 years, most children already have dialogic speech and certain types of monologue.

IMPORTANT . The psychological development of personality is closely related to the child’s self-knowledge.

By the end of preschool age, the baby is already developing self-esteem.
It is based on the awareness of one’s successful activities, the encouragement of adults, as well as the assessment of one’s peers.

The child is already able to realize what place he occupies in the family and children's team.

Experts recommend playing educational games with your child. They should be aimed at developing logic and thinking.

During the game, the baby’s character is also formed. For a preschooler, the social-emotional side of activity is one of the most important. During the game, he learns to cooperate and follow established rules. It is important to teach your child to accept defeat correctly.

Around 7 years a crisis arises. Its main manifestation is the loss of spontaneity. The child begins to behave and act out.

Family parenting styles

“Dependence on parents, which is instilled in children as the virtue of obedience to parents, is an expression of unregulated parental power,” Francoise Dolto.

There are 3 main pedagogical styles of parenting in the family. Each of them affects the child in its own way.

Authoritarian

Parents suppress the child and use their power. Children end up growing up gloomy, distrustful and passive.

Conniving

Parents have little involvement with their children. Essentially, he is left to his own devices. Children with such upbringing do not know how to make plans and achieve goals, and are not persistent.

Democratic

Parents contribute to the development of the child, encourage his interests and develop his abilities. Children grow up inquisitive and active in all areas of life, and are independent.

There is a more expanded classification of family parenting styles:

Family idol. The child is always the center of attention, his slightest whims are satisfied. Permissiveness and praise do not benefit the future personality; the child grows up selfish and with inadequate self-esteem.
Cinderella. The child lives in conditions of punishment and abuse. He does not receive emotional support. In the future, he will be a quiet, downtrodden person with low self-esteem and, possibly, hidden aggression.
Overprotection. The child does not have the right to choose; his parents decide everything for him. As a result, he grows up passive and dependent, not ready for independent life.
Inconsistency and contradiction. It comes in two models: “carrot and stick” or a mismatch between mom and dad’s styles. The child’s personality becomes unstable, duplicity and uncertainty, and internal conflicts develop.
Hypocustody. Raising a child is left to chance. As a result, the child is raised by the street, the Internet, or someone else. There are many development options, but most of them, unfortunately, are unfavorable.
Conniving and condescending. Parents do not punish the child or purely formally point out unwanted behavior. In this situation, the child grows up in the belief that “nothing will happen to him.”
All-round defense. Parents do not listen to outside opinions about the child’s unacceptable behavior; they themselves do not notice it and believe that their child is always right.
Demonstrative. Parents exaggerately emphasize the “hooligan disposition” of their “tomboy and lack of hearing.” They pretend to be worried, but they themselves are proud of the child’s behavior.
Pedantically suspicious. Parents show total control and distrust. The child becomes anxious, nervous, and aggressive.
Severely authoritarian. The child has no right to vote, no choice, and his objections are not accepted. The child grows up shy, withdrawn or aggressive.
Exhorting. Parents show their position only in words. As a result, they lose authority in the eyes of the child. The child becomes his own master.
Expanded scope of parental feelings. Parents violate the child’s personal space, want to know everything, and do not leave him any personal secrets. This is fraught with aggression, internal conflicts of the child, and distrust of people.

Psychology of raising children 2 years old

Raising 2-year-old children is not as simple as it seems at first glance. Difficulties associated with raising children repeatedly arise for many parents. A baby who is two years old often causes parents a lot of trouble with his stubbornness, whims, and hysterics. At this age, a baby can become a “dire ordeal” for its parents. The little tyrant often objects to an adult who is slightly larger than him. The most difficult situation is for those parents who are sure that the baby should obey them in any case. Often, a 2-year-old child shows his character, reacts with irritation, throws tantrums, rejects the help of adults, and parents often cannot understand what is happening to the baby.

A child at the age of 2 years has well-developed motor function and there are no places for him where he cannot reach. The baby is already better at speaking and, thanks to his skills, he tries to be “self-governing.” If adults understand that these are only his physical achievements, then it will be easier for them to show their tolerance than to assume that he specifically wants to unbalance his parents.

Psychology of raising children under 3 years old - tips

The child should be asked questions that he can answer either “yes” or “no,” and the adult should be willing to accept both of these options. For example, when you need to leave the playground with your child, you should tell him this: “we are leaving in 5 minutes.” After the time has elapsed, action should be taken. It is necessary to confidently say: “it’s time to go,” if the child resists, then you need to persistently take him away.

You should give the baby the right to choose - for example, choose your own clothing option from the two provided.

The psychology of raising children under 3 years of age includes flexibility in parenting. It is important to support any choice of the child and teach him to be responsible for his choice. For example, if the baby is hungry but refuses to eat, then you should not categorically insist on eating at this very moment; you should simply put the food aside. The baby will definitely return to the food offered. If adults adhere to these tips, then the difficult age of a two-year-old baby will pass unnoticed.

Parental Settings

Parenting style is the attitude towards all children and education as such. Parental position (attitude) – attitude towards a particular child. There are 4 types of parental settings.

Acceptance and love

Parents' catchphrase: “The child is the center of my interests.” Parents spend a lot of time with the child, do things together, and show affection. As a result, the child develops normally and experiences a feeling of closeness with his parents.

Explicit rejection

Catchphrase: “I hate this child, I won’t worry about him.” Parents are inattentive and cruel to the child, avoid contact with him. As a result, the child grows up to be an emotionally undeveloped person, aggressive, and with criminal tendencies.

Excessive demands

Motto: “I don’t want a child the way he is.” Parents find fault with the child, constantly criticize and do not praise. In the future, the child is characterized by frustration and self-doubt.

Overprotectiveness

Motto: “I will do everything for my child, I will devote my life to him.” Education is characterized by excessive indulgences or restrictions on freedom. The child grows up infantile (especially in terms of social relationships) and not independent.

The example of parents is the main tool for the formation of morality

Any action of mom or dad becomes correct for preschoolers. It is precisely at this time that we need to begin to instill moral principles that will then guide a person in subsequent years.

From 3-4 years old, when the child is already sufficiently socially adapted and can quite clearly express his thoughts in words, you need to explain to him what is bad and what is good.

Positive example of parents

This should be done:

By your own example. Even when doing something not very good, you need to explain that the mother was wrong, she made a mistake and will correct herself (and it’s better not to do this at all in front of the baby);
Explain in detail. Even if we are talking about the most basic things, a child cannot penetrate someone else’s head and understand what exactly the parents mean;
Try to tell with examples, involve the child himself in play performances.

Active psychological attention of parents to this topic will allow the child to clearly see the world of social relations. At first he will be somewhat naive, he will lack his own experience, but in the near future the child will be able to clearly decide what to do and what not to do.

Negative parental example leads to antisocial behavior

Preschool education of moral qualities can be carried out using the following methods:

Reading instructive fairy tales, during which the mother points out the characters who did something bad and explains why this should not be done, who is unhappy because of this;
Games in which the child will have to decide what to do in a certain situation. For example, the bunny has one apple, the child himself has two apples, but the mother has none and she is very sad. Next, the child is invited to help his mother and share; if everything goes well, then the baby receives goodies as a reward for his kind heart; if not, the mother explains why it was necessary to share.
Analysis of daily situations. For example, a man did not give up his seat on a tram to an old woman, after which the mother explains to the baby why this should not be done, how it should be done, and so on.

It is important that all games and stories take place in a positive direction.

Cautionary tales can be found on the Internet.
There is no need to intimidate a child with the idea that if you don’t share, you will be kidnapped or that the child will become bad after that. You need to try to focus the child on the fact that if he does well, then he and everyone around him will also feel good. This method will allow you to form a healthy and self-confident personality in the future.

Types of family relationships

If we talk about type, then we are talking about the very relationships between family members: beliefs, attitudes, values. If we talk about style, then this is the purely pedagogical behavior of parents: techniques, methods, methods. The following families can be distinguished by type of upbringing.

Diktat

The name speaks for itself: parents dictate to the child how he needs to live. This type:

negatively affects the development of the child’s initiative, self-confidence, self-esteem;
provokes the development of inadequate self-esteem, dissatisfaction of many needs, including higher ones (self-development, self-affirmation, self-realization).

Guardianship

We are talking about excessive parental care for the child. With this type, two outcomes of socialization are possible:

the child ultimately turns out to be unprepared for life, he is irresponsible, objectively and subjectively disadvantaged;
the despotic orientation of character is noted.

Non-interference

Parents are indifferent to the child’s life, they have no authority in his eyes and are not a significant group. The consequence is the alienation of the child.

Confrontation

It involves confrontation between parents and child, each side defending its opinion. Consequences of this type: inadequate self-esteem, mechanisms of conflict interaction, negative personality traits (rudeness, scandalousness, cynicism, etc.).

Cooperation

The optimal and desirable type of education for successful socialization. This is interaction, family cooperation, mutual respect.

Motherly attitude

In particular, I would like to consider the influence of a mother’s relationship with her child on his development. It has been scientifically proven that this connection is the fundamental basis of all human development.

First type

Such mothers easily and quickly adapt to the needs of the child. Their behavior is supportive and permissive. Mothers of this type do not set specific goals, but wait until the child is ripe for something.

Second type

Mothers of the second type try to consciously adapt to the needs of the child, but not always successfully. Because of this, the mother’s behavior becomes tense and the relationship with the child becomes formal. Such mothers are more likely to dominate.

Third type

Mothers behave like mothers only out of duty, they do not experience any feelings. They tightly control the child, show coldness, are very categorical and cold-blooded in matters of teaching something (they do not take into account the development of a particular child).

Fourth type

Mothers are inconsistent in their behavior. They do not adequately address the age and needs of the child. Educational methods and reactions to the child’s behavior are contradictory. They do not understand their child well.

The last type is the most unfavorable for the child; it creates anxiety and uncertainty in the child. The first type is the most favorable. It instills in the child a sense of control over his own life.

Psychological requirements for family education

In order for family education to benefit the child, it is important to adhere to the following principles.

Before cultivating any feeling, quality, attitude, it is necessary to form in the child a need for this feeling, quality, attitude. That is, create a motivating situation.
It is important to pay great attention to assessment (verbal). This is reinforcement for desired and undesirable actions. Moreover, more emphasis needs to be placed on positive behavior. As a rule, parents, on the contrary, scold more often and more strongly, but forget to praise for something everyday and (seemingly) insignificant.
Any personality quality must be formed in the process of activity, and not in words. All basic activities are available in the family: work, communication, play. But it is important to consider the age of the child.
When raising something, it is important to focus on the sensory sphere rather than the intellectual. The child must feel every quality.
You need to focus on the positive qualities of the child and respect his personality.

Psychology of raising children 4 years old

Raising a 4-year-old child is quite difficult. At 4 years old, the baby is a separate personality with his own desires, his own opinions and emotions.

The proper upbringing of a 4-year-old child will have an impact on all aspects of his future life, so this issue must be approached very carefully. If in early childhood the child’s life is mainly controlled by emotions and instincts, then by the age of 4 his behavior becomes more conscious.

In order to choose the right direction in raising a 4-year-old child, you should consider the key points in the development of children at this age.

The psychology of raising 4-year-old children needs to be changed due to a shift in emphasis from physical activity to mental activity (all kinds of creativity are of interest to the child: modeling, drawing, making various crafts); This behavior needs to be encouraged, especially if the baby is not assiduous. At 4 years old, if health allows, it is recommended to enroll your child in a sports section (swimming, gymnastics, etc.). We must not forget about daily walks, which strengthen the immune system, and outdoor games develop gross motor skills. If the baby already knows the alphabet, then he should begin to teach him to read. It is advisable to introduce the baby to the basics of mathematics in a playful way.

At the age of 4, curiosity and endless “whys?” appear, which can unsettle any adult. The baby’s questions should be answered directly and without unnecessary details. If an adult does not have the necessary information, then you should tell the child so and promise to find the answer in the near future.

If a child is already attending kindergarten and has problems adapting to the team, then an adult should help him overcome them. First, you need to determine the cause of this condition (shyness, embarrassment, jealousy), and then teach the baby to properly communicate with peers, share toys, or, if necessary, stand up for himself. If you cannot solve this problem and it becomes global, then it is better to seek help from a child psychologist.

Family psychology for raising 4-year-old children takes into account certain changes that the child’s psyche undergoes in the process of growing up. A 4-year-old child begins to experience new feelings: irritation, resentment, shame, sadness. He is not able to cope with them on his own, he may not obey, and behave badly. During this period, it is important to support the baby and explain that everyone experiences emotions - and this is normal. It is necessary to tell the child that it is better to express his feelings not through bad behavior, but through words. It is necessary to praise the baby, since the lack of praise is felt very acutely by the baby, and punishment should be strictly to the point, so that it is clear why. The child should be praised for new achievements or for great efforts in any matter. You should always tell your four-year-old about your love, even if the behavior is not pleasing.

Raising a 4 year old girl. As practice shows, it is easier to raise a girl than a boy. This is due to a calmer and more obedient disposition inherent in purely feminine character traits. Girls prefer to play “mother-daughter”, “hospital”, “shop”, “hairdresser”. By encouraging such games and behavior, it is important to maintain your daughter’s confidence in her beauty and exclusivity. This will allow her to have adequate self-esteem in the future. A girl needs to be instilled with a love of cleanliness, punctuality, and femininity.

Raising a 4 year old boy. Boys are by nature more active and often aggressive. At the age of 4, a boy must understand that girls cannot be offended and know why. A man from the family must be involved in raising a boy. This can be either dad or other male representatives of the family - uncle or grandfather. This makes a big difference. In addition, the boy must be faced with as few prohibitions as possible, since an active child will still find an opportunity to overcome them.

The more adults spend time together with the baby playing games and various activities, the more inquisitive, capable and smart he will grow up.

Good manners

Good manners are the result of upbringing. It manifests itself externally (compliance with norms and rules of behavior) and internally (moral attitudes and motives, moral choice). There are two levels of child upbringing.

High level

A large stock of moral knowledge (attitude towards oneself, work, another person, society). Coherence of knowledge with beliefs and motives. Unity of beliefs and actions. A single personal worldview. Developed willpower, goal-setting ability. Bringing things to completion despite difficulties. A person is self-confident, positive emotions and feelings prevail.

Low level

Ambiguous ideas about what is moral and what is immoral. Personal motives diverge from social norms of behavior. Moral knowledge and beliefs are inconsistent. Goal setting is “lame”: goals are unrealistic or situational, and are easily destroyed at the slightest difficulty. The person is anxious and unsure of himself, negative emotions and feelings predominate.

Nurturing parenting style

Overprotective parents are usually very anxious people who are sure that the child remains small for a very long time and incapable of independent actions and decisions. These are child-centered families in which everything is arranged so that the baby feels good, even if it causes inconvenience for adults. The child’s independence is suppressed by any means; messages about the danger and hostility of the world around him are constantly broadcast to him.

Advantages of hyperprotection:

a calm little one who won’t climb a high hill again and won’t experience the properties of a matchbox;
he is always under control, does not say or do anything unnecessary;
For the first few years, the baby unconditionally trusts his mother, obeying her with every action.

Disadvantages of the caring style:

anxiety, feeling of helplessness, delayed personal development;
feeling of guilt for trying to circumvent parental orders;
does not feel trusted;
the baby grows up not independent, lazy and passive;
mistrust and fear of the world, as parents constantly broadcast information about the dangers around them.

Examples of phrases from overprotective parents: “You’re still too young, let me do it myself,” “So what if all the children go down the slide? You can’t, you’ll fall and hurt your forehead,” “Don’t touch the cat, in case it has fleas,” “Don’t run, or you’ll fall.”

What are the consequences for the child?

A person who grew up with overprotective parents will probably have to live with them forever: the ability to make one’s own decisions is not formed, there is no motivation for a successful life, arranging one’s own future is scary and reluctant, taking responsibility at work is dangerous and one does not want to, household skills are poorly developed.

If a person can separate from his parents, then he is unlikely to become successful. He has low self-esteem, he does not know how to stand up for himself, he is afraid of everything and worries about everything. Such workers are not valued, and such spouses are not dreamed of.

Afterword

The family for a child is a micromodel of society. It shapes life attitudes, social values and personality orientations in childhood. The experience acquired by children at a certain stage of life is determined by the characteristic characteristics of the family: tastes, life values and goals, and everyday life.

V. A. Sukhomlinsky wrote: “Wonderful children grow up in families where father and mother truly love each other and at the same time love and respect people. I immediately see a child whose parents deeply, heartily, beautifully, and devotedly love each other. This child has peace and tranquility in his soul, deep mental health, sincere faith in goodness, faith in human beauty, faith in the word of the teacher, subtle sensitivity to subtle means of influence - a kind word and beauty.”

Children deprived of parental attention and supervision join the ranks of street children, criminals, and become involved in addiction and other types of deviant behavior.

In general, the success of the educational function of a family depends on its educational potential: material and living conditions, the size of the family, and the nature of the relationships between its members. The nature of the relationship includes the emotional, work and psychological atmosphere in the family, the education and qualities of the parents, their experience, family traditions and division of responsibilities.