Set up to win. Helping your child prepare for competitions

Competition is a different world

Classic case. During training, the child demonstrates excellent skills and technique. Completes the trainer's assignments with ease. Does not experience any problems with motivation and mood. In addition, on the day of the competition, during the warm-up, the child also does everything perfectly. The parents and coach are delighted. Yes, it looks like someone is destined for a pedestal today! Everyone is rubbing their hands in anticipation and thinking about how they will celebrate first place.

But then the starting whistle sounds and the competition begins. And... it’s as if the child is being replaced. All technology disappears somewhere. The whole mood disappears. Other children literally “trample” him into the ground, surpassing him in absolutely all respects. The child does not show even a fraction of what he actually knows. There is fear and confusion in the eyes. In my head there is a desire for all this to end quickly.

Is the starting whistle to blame for this change? Of course not. Fear of competition is to blame for such drastic changes. The child may not show his fear of performing in any way, and in some cases may not even consciously feel it. However, it is fear, sitting deep, deep inside, that is to blame for what is happening.

Child psychology

How young athletes can overcome their fear of failure

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Tips for parents on how to help their little athletes succeed in sports

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Parents and coaches often complain that children are sabotaging their own success. Why do young athletes do this? One might assume that the problem is related to “fear of success,” but this is unlikely to be the case. Fear of success does lead athletes to self-destruction, but this kind of fear is much less common compared to fear of failure.

What is the difference between fear of failure and fear of success? Although both of them hinder athletes by causing them to experience anxiety, tension and worry about winning and achieving results, the reasons for these fears are different.

Fear of failure develops when athletes are afraid of not getting what they want, not achieving a goal for which they worked long and hard, for example, winning a prestigious championship. And the fear of success develops when their enormous worries are focused on what will happen after they become successful in their sport, will they cope with new difficulties, responsibilities and restrictions that will literally fall on them in case of repeated victory and, accordingly, recognition.

It is enough to imagine how a world-famous athlete feels before the start of a competition or simply going out in public, what composure and internal control he must show so as not to upset people whose eyes are riveted on his every movement. Not everyone is able to bear this burden.

But for most young athletes, this is not the problem at all. Most often, they “get in their own way” due to the fear of failure, which manifests itself in all sorts of forms. In addition to anxiety and constraining internal tension, fear of failure can force young athletes to make excessive efforts, which also breaks them psychologically, preventing them from achieving success.

What specific concerns prevent athletes from achieving success?

It is not enough for parents to simply know that their child has fears of failure. It is important to have an understanding of the specific type of fear that is preventing their young athlete from achieving success. In particular, as can be seen from the list below, fear of failure is often associated with a strong need for social approval, that is, what other people think of him is extremely important to the child.

Manifestations of fear of failure:

Fear of losing a match, game or competition. Children want to win very badly and are afraid that they will not be able to do this.
Fear of negative public evaluation. Athletes are afraid that others may consider them failures in sports.
Fear of shame. Children are afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of their friends by showing bad results.
Fear of letting others down. Athletes don't want to let others down—coaches, parents, or teammates.
Fear of making efforts in vain, in vain, or not playing at full strength. Young athletes want their hard work, talent and long hours of training to always lead to achievements (eg victories, awards, etc.).
Fear of not living up to expectations. Young athletes worry that they will not be able to live up to the expectations of others.
Fear of being rejected, losing respect, or not receiving approval.
Fear of making a mistake and not performing your best, and this after a lot of hard work and training.

How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Fear of Failure

In order to help children cope with the fear of failure, it is necessary to understand what exactly they are afraid of and deal with this problem in a targeted manner. Let's take fear of shame as an example. If your young athlete has this form of fear, it means he is too worried about what other people think of him. He should play sports for himself, for his own pleasure, and not worry about the opinions of outside observers.
Help children focus on success instead of worrying about failure. Many athletes, with a fear of failure, pay attention to the wrong things. They think more about how not to make mistakes than about how to catch a ball or perform a gymnastic exercise. These athletes need to set small, step-by-step goals for themselves that will help them focus more on achieving success. One option is for children to mentally visualize the correct execution of the exercise before performing it.
Athletes with a fear of failure must learn to perform effectively, not perfectly. The idea is that a child does not need to be perfect to perform at their best in sports. Children often try to over-control their sports performances (for fear of making mistakes). They must understand that mistakes are a natural part of sport. The goal is for your young athletes to trust their skills, perform sports more freely, and feel less constrained.

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Alone on stage

To some extent, sports competitions are similar to performing on stage, especially in the mind of a child. Even if it is not an individual performance (for example, figure skating), but a team performance (football, hockey). The child perceives what is happening as “happening around him,” where he is the center, regardless of his role or position.

Is he the team captain? He is the center of everyone's attention.
Does he do the grunt work on the field? He is the center.
Is he sitting in the reserves and preparing to enter the field? He's still the center.

Set up to win. Helping your child prepare for competitions

Any competition is a great stress for a fragile child’s psyche. Even if everything turns out easily during training, at competitions a young athlete can fall into a real stupor due to fear of opponents, self-doubt or lack of parental support. Correct psychological preparation of the child will help to avoid such a situation. The coach will partially take on this responsibility, but you can’t rely on him alone, because, most likely, he has a lot of students, and in the turmoil there may not be enough time for a detailed conversation with everyone. But parents are always there, and their task is to not let their child get nervous and motivate them to achieve excellent results.

Conquer your fears

Talk to your child about his fears. If he is afraid of not living up to someone's expectations, explain that there are people who love and appreciate him without any medals. If he is afraid of forgetting something, remind him of an incident from the past when he dealt with a similar problem. For example, he recited a poem that he could not remember for a long time.

Psychologists also recommend imagining the worst possible scenario with your child and showing that it can be taken lightly: “You will reach the finish line last, and what will happen? That's right, no big deal. Just keep practicing and get 1st place!”

“More than 9 thousand of my shots did not reach the goal. I have been defeated in almost 300 matches. 26 times I was entrusted with the right to make the decisive shot at the end of the game, but I missed. I made one mistake after another. That's why I achieved success." Michael Jordan, basketball player

Reduce blood pressure

Try not to escalate the situation before the competition. On the contrary, it will be useful to distract the child from his worries. Go with the whole family to the park, theater or circus, chat about abstract topics, and in the evening watch a light family comedy to laugh and go to bed in a good mood. It is better to arrive at the tournament itself early so that the child gets comfortable and gets used to the place and atmosphere.

Before you start, tell him that he can and knows everything he needs. He is now required to calmly carry out the completed elements.

“If you put pressure on yourself, it will only get worse. When you are very obsessed with something, you will not achieve your goals. We need to let things happen naturally.” Cristiano Ronaldo, football player

Give a talisman

Before the competition, give your child a “lucky talisman”: a stone, a bracelet, a hairpin, a coin. Even if the young athlete does not believe in the supernatural properties of this gift, he will feel your care in difficult times. You can also come up with a fun family ritual that sets you up for victory: it could be a song, a dance, a chant, or a group hug.

“I always went on the ice with my right foot, and when I left the ice, I first put the cover on my left skate. It’s interesting that I have continued this habit to this day.” Andrey Bukin, figure skater

Set realistic goals

To motivate your champion to succeed, start by giving him small, achievable goals. There is no point in talking about gold medals right away. Start with a small personal best, a difficult element that you need to learn how to perform, the closest opponent in terms of training level that you can overtake. Keep a special “diary of achievements” where, together with your child, write down such tasks and “minimum programs” for each competition, and note what difficulties he has already managed to overcome.

“Teach an athlete to fight to the end for any place, and he will be able to fight for first.” Larisa Latynina, gymnast

Monitor the health

Little athletes need to especially take care of their health, and even when you really want to celebrate the completion of the competition (regardless of the results), we must not forget about the regime!
Cakes, soda and chocolate are strictly prohibited! In order not to deprive your child of childhood and not feel guilty, treat him to high-quality and healthy sweets: marmalade, marshmallows, candied fruits or 100% natural “Gold Standard” ice cream. It contains a lot of milk and is completely free of unnatural colors, flavors and artificial preservatives. By the way, this year “Gold Standard” is releasing 3 new products: for connoisseurs of traditional Russian tastes - “Siberian Berries” popsicle with lingonberries and cloudberries; “Sandwich” with real Italian chocolate cookies for a tasty and healthy snack; three-color ice cream for all Russian fans - “Trio” with vanilla, blackcurrant and strawberries. Date: 06/13/2018 14:55

Reducing the level of fear

It is recommended to use methods that will gradually, both immediately and as you grow older, reduce the level of fear of competition.

Stay close

Even if your child does not ask you to do so, you should make it a rule to attend all of your child’s competitions, regardless of their importance or seriousness. Your personal presence before, during, and after competitions can greatly reduce the level of fear in a child. Don’t be afraid to overdo it: in the children’s world, situations occur every day when your support is needed, but the child is physically unable to receive it.

For example, at school, when answering at the blackboard or from a seat. It's the same performance. But due to rules and restrictions, you cannot be physically present with your child during school hours. Therefore, there he is forced to fight his fear himself. And in those cases where you can support him (at competitions) - please do so.

Play competitions

This wonderful technique will help to qualitatively reduce the child’s fear level. Organize “semi-official gaming competitions”: at home, on the street, in the country. Here everything depends only on your imagination. The main thing is that it is not really a game, but with an admixture of official performance.

Invite your child's friends. Organize “Olympic Games” with real prizes. In general, hold some kind of analogue of real competitions, but with an absolutely familiar and trusting environment. During such performances, the child may also experience a feeling of fear, but it will be much less pronounced. This semi-game will perfectly train your child to participate in a sports competition situation.

How to overcome fear in competitions: bodybuilding

Athletes are often confident that they can perform well, but in practice the opposite happens.
To understand how to overcome fear in competitions, you first need to understand the reasons for this feeling. In many ways, a person’s emotional state depends on his thoughts. It is what we think and imagine that is the result of fear. Imagine that you see a glass of juice on the table and at that moment you begin to imagine its taste. However, you haven’t drunk it yet and you can’t know what taste this juice has. People are used to feeling what they have already tried and they know the taste.

This is how we perceive everything that happens around us. If you look for information on this topic in psychology books, you will be able to find many explanations for this fact. Our brain doesn’t care whether a person sees something or just imagines it, and the result will be the same.

Let's find out how to overcome fear in bodybuilding competitions. Imagine the excitement in the form of a certain imaginary image. It doesn’t matter what exactly this image will be, even just a set of colors. Then you need to determine the location in the imaginary space of you and the imaginary image. Make an effort to move it as far away from you as possible.

It's quite complicated, but the technique works just fine. If you manage to master it, then the question of how to overcome fear in competitions will no longer interest you. If you work on mastering this way of dealing with anxiety, you will soon learn to do it automatically. To make it easier for you to master the technique, use the following recommendations:

Take a stance.
Particular attention should be paid to breathing, which should be uniform and deep.
You need to stretch your arms in front of you and smoothly raise them up.
Continue moving your arms at a slow pace, spreading them out to the sides.
Lower your arms and bring your palms together in front of you at the bottom.

This exercise must be performed several times and with its help you will learn to suppress fear.

Michael Phelps' pre-race rituals

The ritual of Michael Phelps, 26-time world champion in the 50-meter pool and multiple world record holder, is associated with music. He always comes to the starting table wearing huge headphones, takes them off and makes exactly three waves of his arms.

According to The New York Times, his playlist consists of a mix of Eminem, Young Jeezy and Eric Church.

Tips from LIVE.LOVE trainers

Tatiana Kuzina

The first time there is usually no fear, because you don’t know what awaits you. Then there is the so-called “jitters” - this is excitement, experience. It means that a person cares how he runs, swims or drives. This feeling before the start is normal. But if it starts a few days before the competition, it’s worse. A person may “burn out” (get overexcited), and then a good result may not be expected. It was as if he had already run his distance.

You can overcome this unpleasant feeling: distract yourself with books or shopping (this option is more suitable for women). But books shouldn't be too emotional. For example, women often not only read, but live through the events described in the book. There is no need for unnecessary excitement here. A short tour of the city where the competition is taking place may also help. It is better not to walk for a long time, so as not to overload your legs with walking. A full sightseeing tour can be arranged after the starts.

Before competitions, I often liked to buy myself something - a dress, shoes or something else. Then I tried to work on it, to beat it off at the start. Some people encourage themselves after competitions, but I took a different path