Why is it important to find a topic to talk about?
Having invited a friend to go on a date, a guy should know what to talk about with a girl when you are walking in order to interest her, win her over, and learn as much as possible about her life. If two modest and quiet people meet, their walk may be uninteresting, boring, monotonous. To eliminate this negative manifestation, a man must take the initiative into his own hands.
Dialogue when meeting a girl on your first walk is very important, because the ease of communication will determine whether young people want to meet a second time. Girls are often shy at first meetings, so the initiative should come from the guy. Try to find out what your interlocutor is interested in, what topics she prefers to talk about, and listen to her stories with pleasure.
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The topic of conversation on the first date should be pleasant for both parties, you can’t argue with that. Let's determine why it is so important to find common ground in dialogue:
- you can learn a lot about each other;
- there is a desire to meet again;
- there will be a dialogue, not a monologue;
- the time will be pleasant for both parties;
- you can understand whether the interlocutor is suitable for you, how sincere he is.
If during the first meeting the parties do not find a common topic for conversation and they are not interested in each other, then even with great sympathy, this relationship is not destined to begin. If you feel an increased desire for a girl and are ready to spend time with her, look for topics that will be pleasant to her. You can discuss your favorite music, movies, sports that you or your companion play.
There are many youth topics in the world that you can discuss on your first walk, interest your interlocutor, and make her want to meet you again. Take into account the wishes of your companion, ask what she is interested in, what she wants to talk about, tune in to her wavelength. Remember that if the first meeting is not accompanied by an entertaining dialogue, then it is stupid to wait for a second date.
Internet to help4
You can't live without the Internet these days! Discuss this topic with your girl. Ask relevant questions:
- How often do you surf the Internet?
- What social networks are you on?
- How can I find you?
- What sites do you visit?
- What attracts you to the Internet?
- What do you prefer: virtual or live communication?
- What attractive (negative) do you find in virtual communication?
- Do you like to play computer games?
- What videos do you watch?
- Do you think there is harm from the Internet?
Rules for communicating with a girl
To make a good impression on your partner, you need to know what to talk about with your girlfriend when you go out, what topics you can touch on, and what to refrain from. There are psychological rules for guys that are worth paying attention to, they will help you figure it out and have a perfect date:
- When listening to a girl, you should not look directly into her eyes, as this causes embarrassment and self-doubt. Look at her occasionally, show that you are really listening to the essence of her story and you are not indifferent to it.
- Avoid intrusiveness, give the girl the opportunity to speak and tell what she wants. Be attentive and kind.
- Try to talk on different topics, do not let your interlocutor talk all evening. This will let her know that you are a shy person and a bad conversationalist.
- Remember that young ladies love with their ears. Compliment your friend, emphasize her strengths, convince her that she is very beautiful and fun to be with. Such words will be appreciated.
- Do not use rude language, sarcasm, or overly abstruse words. Speak in simple and accessible language, do not put your friend in a stupid position.
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A man should be gallant and amiable under all circumstances. Even if during the conversation you determined that you no longer like the girl, you have different views on life, do not show it to her. Spend some quality time for both of you, and then make it clear that it's time for you to go.
Psychologists say that the first walk with a girl is decisive. If both people are interested in each other, something more can come out of these meetings. That is why try to make every effort to find a common topic for discussion that will be truly relevant. But there is no need to wear masks, trying to make a false impression on the young lady. Be yourself, sooner or later your interlocutor will like you and find a kindred spirit in her.
What should you tell her7
To have an interesting conversation, a guy must also take an active part. There is no need to indulge in personal memories and tell how you and your friends hung out for a few days during your vacation. Better talk about her yourself. The girl will definitely like it.
- Tell me what attracted you to her when you first met.
- What causes your admiration and surprise in her.
- What qualities do you like about her?
The girl will bloom with pleasure like a May rose.
Then you can move on to the second point:
- Discuss the next meeting.
- Offer to go for a walk together.
- Talk about leisure activities this coming weekend.
Interesting topics for conversation
When going on a first date, guys don’t always understand what they can talk about with a girl in order to interest her and not make the evening boring. When meeting a stranger, there may be a communication barrier within the first half hour, but it quickly passes. You need to identify all the topics that you can support. They should be easy and accessible to the interlocutor.
Psychologists say that any light topics that do not concern people from a past life can be interesting. Let's consider several win-win options that are worth focusing on.
- What does a girl dream about? By touching on this topic and asking a question about her dreams, you can really get your interlocutor talking, get to know her from the other side, and see sincerity in her. After her story, you can talk a little about your dream and see her reaction.
- Hobbies. Every person has hobbies, often young people actively discuss them, finding common hobbies. Today it has become important to play sports, read books, watch movies and TV shows. Discuss such moments with your friend, they will help you find common ground that will bring you even closer. If you like to travel, and the girl does not actively discuss this topic, you should not be overly intrusive.
- Love for our smaller brothers. Girls love animals, many have them at home. Tell us who you like better, dogs or cats, mention that you have a favorite pet, ask your friend about it. Talking about pets is very cute, they bring smiles to faces and improve the emotional level of communication.
- Music. Everyone’s love for music is different, some are music lovers, while others prefer a certain genre. First, ask the young lady what songs and artists she likes. If tastes coincide, then you can continue the conversation. When a girl likes other music, support her, don’t impose your tastes. This could end badly.
- Work, college. The topic of work or training can be relevant for everyone, so you can ask where the girl works and what she does. If in response you hear the same question asked with a desire to find out about earnings, do not overreact. Do not mislead your interlocutor, tell only the truth, because if communication drags on for a long time, then it will become offensive and unpleasant when all the lies come to the surface.
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There are many topics for maintaining a conversation with a girl while walking, try to make communication as diverse as possible, without focusing on one topic for a long time. This will make the walk memorable, will allow you to examine the girl’s characteristics from all sides, look into her soul, and determine whether it is interesting to be around her.
Personal questions3
Ask her opinion about “global and eternal.” Ask some interesting questions:
- What type of temperament are you?
- Do you believe in reincarnation? Eternal life?
- Are you a sociable person?
- What character traits do you like in yourself?
- What do you value and despise in people?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- Do you have a lot of friends?
- What do you consider important in this life?
- Do you have a specific goal?
- What dreams of yours have come true?
- What dreams never came true that led to a better outcome?
- How do you feel about bad habits?
- Do you like to sleep?
- How do you like to relax: passively or actively?
- How do you spend your free time?
By asking a girl about personal things, you will understand what topics you should start from in order to interest her.
Examples of dialogue
Dialogue when communicating with a girl plays an important role, because you need not only to actively talk, telling facts and stories, but also to be able to listen and listen. A first date is an exciting event for both parties, so you need to prepare for it, think through the dialogue and topics that could interest your interlocutor.
Many people don’t know how to behave with a girl and start a conversation so that she has fun and you don’t look stupid. If we are talking about certain topics, then dialogues can begin with the following phrases:
– Mash, what kind of music do you like?
– Well, I’m a versatile person, I love foreign tracks, Russian songs, sometimes I listen to rap, but it’s according to my mood...
– Oh, cool, I like rap too. I like listening to Basta most of all, his words are cool and his music is touching, what about you?
– Basta is also on the list of my favorite performers, but I don’t get hung up on him, I listen to everything my soul desires...
This is one example of a good dialogue in which both you and the girl can talk, express your opinion, show desire, and not just listen to a monologue. The more common topics to discuss, the more fun the first meeting will seem, and the time will pass quickly.
Similar dialogues can occur when discussing films, actors, books, sports. If a girl is interested in art, and you have no idea about it, ask her to tell you something meaningful, actively listen to her stories. Give the girl the opportunity to speak out, show that you are also a versatile person and are open to development, you want to know as much as possible in this world.
BASIC TEST
There is a small test that will help you understand whether you have a sufficient level of knowledge on this topic.
So, answer the following questions truthfully:
- Do you know what topics to raise when talking to a stranger?
- How to behave when communicating with a young lady in order to interest her?
- How to curb your fear and anxiety?
- Do you know when it is better not to pester a woman with conversations, so as not to receive a refusal and a slap in the face?
If you couldn’t find the answer to at least one question in your head, then I strongly recommend that you get comfortable and read to the end.
After studying comments from forums and opinion poll data, I came to the conclusion that an impressive number of men approach strangers without preparation. In their opinion, topics for conversation between a guy and a girl should be spontaneous.
Well, there is some truth to this theory. Yes, you don’t need to think long about the topic of the conversation. You need to react quickly, but the choice of topic should be based on the results of observing the girl and the environment.
Of course, there are “lucky” people who let the conversation take its course and get a positive result. But this is the exception rather than the rule. The risk of being rejected with this approach is very high.
Possible communication problems
Walking with a girl for the first time, even if you like her, is difficult. Difficulties arise in communication due to excessive embarrassment, fear that there are no common topics for conversation. To avoid negative moments during communication, you need to prepare for it accordingly.
Create for yourself a template of topics that you can talk about with a stranger; don’t try to immediately get into your friend’s soul. If a man behaves incorrectly when communicating, it will be difficult to avoid incidents and unforeseen situations.
Common communication problems to be aware of:
- lack of common themes;
- increased shyness on both sides;
- the desire to get into a girl’s soul;
- hints that you want to continue communication in a secluded place;
- difficulties in the nature of the parties;
- age differences.
These are the causes of problems that arise in communication and disrupt its idyll. Even if you are different people, you have completely different interests, but you feel sympathy for each other, you can influence the situation by controlling emotions, words and topics for discussion.
WHAT IS IT FOR
Correctly selected topics of conversation with a girl on the first date should perform the following functions:
- They help you get closer to a stranger.
- Reveal her personal characteristics.
- They help continue the conversation in a more private place.
- They give a reason for the next date.
- They characterize you from the best side. But you don’t need to talk only about yourself, your loved one. There should be a minimum number of such topics. It is better to talk about your merits fleetingly and not focus on them. Believe me, the young lady will catch this hint and will not consider you a narcissistic egoist.
If the chosen topics for conversation with a girl on a date do not correspond to any of the above points, urgently move the conversation in a different direction. Otherwise, you risk breaking the connection that may have already arisen between you.
What not to talk about
When going on a date for the first time, a man should understand that there are safe topics that should not be discussed. They will only ruin the evening, will not please the interlocutor and will make you want to stop communicating. Psychologists consider the following topics contraindicated for discussion:
- Former lovers. Meeting a girl is a reason to start a new relationship; you should not discuss your old romances. Your friend will find this extremely stupid and unpleasant.
- The girl's earnings level. A guy should not be interested in how much his girlfriend earns and whether she is able to provide for herself. Men should deal with financial problems.
If you avoid such topics of discussion, communication can be easy, relaxed, and enjoyable for both parties. Prepare for a date or meeting, ban all topics that will cause you awkwardness or embarrassment.
TOP – 10 questions about work activities_10
At the dating stage, it is important to show sincere interest in the young lady. Ask more questions. The girl will be happy to answer, considering you an excellent conversationalist.
Remember a few topics to develop an interesting conversation.
- Who and where do you work?
- How long have you been doing this activity?
- Do you like your job?
- What kind of work team do you have?
- What did you dream of working as when you were little?
- What helped (prevented) you from realizing your dream?
- What do you want to do in the future?
- What kind of relationship do you have with your work team?
- Are you very tired at work?
- What do you do in your free time?
It is incorrect to ask a girl about her salary, especially for a guy. It’s better not to have such conversations.
When to text a girl
Once you have a girl's phone number, you must write to her within 24 hours. Not later than.
Why?
Because if you wait more than a day, she will decide that she is not interested in you and will switch her attention to other events in her life. And when you show up in a couple of days, she won’t need it anymore.
It wasn’t such a super-exciting acquaintance that you had that she would sit and sigh for several days, thinking about you and abandoning everything. True, if you are Bradley Cooper, you can show up in at least a month, she will be happy. But only in this case.
Modern life is very mobile and hectic, many new events happen during the day, and you will get out of your head. And then she will not want to communicate again with a person who disappears from the radar for a long time.
And it’s very easy to write an SMS. Why not do it while she remembers you and while you both are interested?
What to write to a girl in messages and about yourself
1. DO NOT write that the day was boring, nothing interesting happened. Even if this is indeed the case, it is not interesting to anyone and is uninformative.
Instead of saying something like, “I'm just bored, so I decided to text you,” say:
“I just returned home from a crazy and stressful day at the office. So happy that I finally have time to relax. How was your day?"
This will make it clear that you are a busy man who works hard and has serious goals in life. This is exactly what women want.
2. Make more jokes; if you don’t know how, watch comedy shows and stand-ups and learn how to do it. Don't forget to use humor even when talking about yourself.
If a girl does not respond to messages, then you will be interested in the analysis in this article Why a girl does not respond to messages: the dark truth (opens in a new window).
3. It is also good if you use the following phrases:
“I was thinking about you”, “You are special to me”, “I am interested in talking to you about everything.”
4. Don't be afraid to appear stupid and make fun of yourself.
“You’ll laugh when you find out how much I messed up now,”
“I have never had such a stupid situation!”
This is both intriguing and positive. The ability to laugh at yourself is a quality of a confident person. And confident men are the sexiest for women.
5. As for your person, girls are interested in looking at photographs of you (not old ones), of what happened to you, or what you photographed right now.
This dilutes communication, making you an interesting and open interlocutor. By sending your photos, you make her a participant in your life. In response, the girl will also begin to behave more freely, feeling a close person in you.
6. If some interesting situation happened to you during the day, you can present it as an intrigue:
“You can’t even imagine what I had to go through today...”
Let her try to figure it out for herself first.
7. Try to remember the details that she tells about her family and colleagues. Then you can draw parallels between your life and hers, remembering this.
8. One of the mistakes guys make is to stop communicating after a meeting date has been set. When you are silent, girls begin to scroll through different scenarios in their heads, doubt their decisions and, in the end, either cancel the meeting or come to it with a negative attitude.
It doesn’t cost anything to write: “Have a nice day! I hope your plans for tonight are still in place?”
Even a short message will make it clear that you are thinking about her and you are not indifferent to her.