What to do if you often quarrel with a guy?
Young couples in love often conflict for no reason. Often, many of them, due to their ardor and ardor, cannot find out the reasons for quarrels, unlike experienced, wise people who are confident in themselves and their relationships.
Many girls threw tantrums at their boyfriends because of a missed call or a bad hairstyle. Thousands of such examples can be given, but making peace in such a situation is quite difficult. It is even more difficult to find consensus when the young lady considers herself the injured party and on a subconscious level launches a program of her innocence. A guy in this situation should not continue to stir up a quarrel and provoke his missus, but calm her down and try to talk in a calm atmosphere.
If a girl understands that she is to blame for certain quarrels, then she needs to think about what the reason for this behavior is.
Important! Young people are not psychics or magicians. Most young ladies dream that they themselves can guess what needs to be done in a given situation. But you need to understand that this is beyond fantasy and it’s better to tell the guy about your feelings and desires.
Quarrel with a girl - how to make peace if she doesn’t talk:
Look what's the matter here. Usually if you know that she doesn't talk, it means she has closed herself off from you. Doesn't answer calls, doesn't answer the door, ignores messages? The best solution here would be to stop trying to reach her, the sooner the better!
Have you seen a picture where a guy asks a girl for forgiveness on all possible social networks? Even in the Sberbank application. This is the edge, friends. Never do this, it's low. In continuation of the previous point, I will say. Writing and explaining 1-2 times is enough.
Admit guilt if you are truly guilty. It's okay to admit mistakes. But if they try to ignore you, deceive you for more, don’t fall for it. They will simply bend you over and a “fun” fairy tale will begin. If a girl closes herself off from you, it means she doesn’t want to talk. There is another option that this is just a cunning manipulation for you, so that you start investing, running after her. This also happens.
In both cases, running after her would be a huge mistake. Asking for forgiveness under the window with a guitar, crawling up the stairs to her on your knees... have you seen such videos? You can read the comments about “real men and romance” and never be humiliated like that. Whatever your problem, it is better to leave the relationship than to stay in it and crawl on your knees.
The smartest thing to do here would be to leave the girl alone and go about your business. Over time, she will take the initiative herself and make her own move. You don’t need to make 3-4 moves in a row, they depreciate and underestimate your importance. She may not get in touch, but it’s better this way than on her knees.
If a girl ignores you after a fight, then you don't need to text her anymore. You made your moves as best you could, tried to correct the situation, now just calm down. Next is her move.
The girl left for her ex, what should I do to get her back?
How to work on relationships
Relationships in a couple are built on trust and mutual understanding. To strengthen them and not destroy them due to constant quarrels, you should follow simple rules:
- If a girl values her boyfriend, then she should listen to the advice of experienced couples and set priorities. Understanding that this guy is exactly the one you would like to see next to you in the future, then you should start accepting him for who he is. If your feelings are real, then many shortcomings will no longer be one of the main causes of quarrels.
- If conflicts continue, try to discuss all the nuances in advance. A conversation based not on accusations, but on a simple discussion of unpleasant situations for one of the parties, will be effective. It is important to ultimately find a compromise that suits everyone. If necessary, come up with certain rules for everyone that will help reduce the number of scandals.
- Get to know your partner more deeply. What are his interests, habits, character - what he really is, without hiding behind a mask. Understand that it is almost impossible to change a person and his habits. Why break an established character? After all, you can approach from the other side, make an attempt to penetrate. Only after realizing what your loved one is interested in, you will see that there are fewer and fewer quarrels, and the relationship becomes stronger.
- Don't take it out on your lover if you're in a bad mood. Learn to free yourself from negative emotions. The best option would be to do something you love or take a relaxing bath. Also, immediately tell your spouse about your condition, tell him what is best for him to do. This behavior will prevent a new quarrel and have a beneficial effect on the relationship.
- Young ladies should look at themselves from the outside. In this way, the girl will be able to analyze her actions, understand what exactly she did wrong, what needs to be worked on.
- Stop manipulating hysterics. As a rule, such actions ultimately lead to bad results. A girl accustomed to hysteria gets what she wants only in this way. However, men's nerves are not made of iron. Sooner or later, the faithful will get tired of this and this may be fraught with separation. It’s better to make it a joke or honestly discuss your desires.
How to start a conversation after a quarrel?
There is no relationship without quarrels. Above, we discussed how you can minimize constant quarrels with a young man. But after a quarrel, many find it difficult to start a conversation and reach reconciliation. To do this, there are several recommendations that will help you:
- Think about why your chosen one reacted this way. Try to put yourself in his place. This way you can find the words to take the first step towards reconciliation.
- Be wiser. If you are the first to decide to talk, this does not mean at all that you are giving in. Don't be led by pride, follow your reason. The one who is the first to stop a quarrel and reconcile demonstrates fortitude, wisdom and love.
- Look for compromises. If you don't want to capitulate, choose a different tactic. Seeing that your significant other is in serious condition after a conflict, prepare a delicious dinner or just hug and kiss your beloved, tell him that you love and appreciate him.
- Be quick and decisive. There is no need to delay time after a conflict, otherwise a truce may not happen. The longer you take the decision, the greater the likelihood of a new scandal. In addition, being in a quarrel for a long time is burdensome for both partners.
Shut up and touch
There are times when discussing a particular issue only leads to increased passions.
In such cases, the best move may be an unexpected and seemingly completely inappropriate action - hug him, kiss him, stroke his cheek, etc.
At the same time, your gaze should read something like: “Enough. Let's make it up".
It doesn't always work, but very often.
Psychologist's advice
When visiting a psychologist, girls often complain: “We constantly quarrel with the guy. What should I do?”, “We constantly quarrel with the guy over trifles.” After such quarrels, they do not know what to do, how to behave further. Family analysts advise following simple recommendations:
- Find out what caused the quarrel
When girls are under the influence of emotions, they react on an instinctive level. Most often, this becomes the reason for rash actions and words, which are then embarrassing to remember. Therefore, think that it is possible that your lover is also offended no less than you. Try to figure out what triggered the conflict. Because the longer it drags on, the harder it is to understand where it started. This is very important because without a sincere apology it is impossible to heal a relationship.
- Give each other time to think things through
Most likely, you have already managed to express everything to each other, and not in the most unpleasant words. Now you need time to be alone with yourself. If your loved one initiates thinking things over, don’t interfere with him. Respect his decision and do the same - sort out your feelings. If you let your lover cool down at the right time, then most likely you will not have to separate.
- Talk to your spouse and listen to him
After you have been alone and thought about everything, you can move on to reconciliation. But here it is very important to be extremely careful and attentive. Don't rush things, don't rush, try to remain calm and patient. The main thing in reconciliation is to find the right moment. You must be ready to listen to your chosen one, try to prevent the quarrel from continuing. This conversation is necessary in order to solve the problem and find a compromise.
- Admit your mistakes
An apology may not be enough. Therefore, you need to not only ask for forgiveness, but also make it clear to your beloved that you fully admit that your behavior and words caused him pain. And then try to promise not only him, but also yourself that you will not repeat such mistakes again.
- Think about your feelings for each other
In the heat of a quarrel, lovers often tell themselves things they don’t really mean and call each other offensive names. And then they often regret it greatly. So it’s time to remember what you really feel for your chosen one and show him these feelings. A little attention and care will help smooth out the pain caused to each other.
- Forgive and forget grievances
To make peace after a serious quarrel, you need to learn to forgive and leave grievances in the past. But never tell your beloved that you forgive him if you are not really ready to do it. Because the burden of resentment will weigh on you, and you will definitely remember this quarrel to your beloved.
Rules for Effective Conciliation
Calm down
It is useful to throw out emotions, even negative ones: anger and resentment hidden inside only aggravate the situation. However, the expression of emotions should be constructive. Before broadcasting negativity, it is better to take a walk, take a bath or do squats. If your emotions are running high, and you already know from your own experience that you will later regret what you said, squat down, and then swear.
Make the fight productive
With the right approach, you can find a solution that suits both of you. Otherwise, no matter how touching the reconciliation may be, disagreements on the same issue may arise again. Alas, in addition to one-time quarrels, there are also long-term conflicts - when a controversial issue regularly arises in the path of a couple. If there is no better solution, then find at least a satisfactory one, which at this stage can be acceptable to both partners.
Separate the problem from the person
When voicing complaints, do not depart from the essence of the matter and do not get personal. After all, the task before you now is to find a way out together, and not to prove to each other that you are right.
Make love
You can complete reconciliation with sexual pleasures only if you complete it and not replace it. For example, you quarreled over a trifle, and the quarrel itself is more of an outbreak than a serious conflict. Then the accumulated tension can be released in bed. This way you can feel your chosen one and his love for you. But only on the condition that both of you are ready for it. If one of you doesn't want any touching, it's best to be patient.
Don't push
Some people find it very difficult to admit they are wrong. There may be several reasons for this. For example, men do not want to admit their guilt, because for them it is a defeat or even humiliation. If you feel that it is difficult for your loved one to accept that he was wrong, do not put pressure on him. And if you yourself cannot admit that you are wrong, then prove it with your actions.
Quarrel with a girl - how to make peace via SMS:
It happens that swearing occurs through correspondence. For example, VKontakte or some other messenger. What to do in this case? I would advise you not to continue the showdown, and never.
That is, it doesn’t matter where you swear, on a social network, in life, on the phone, it’s better not to swear, especially if there is a raised voice or insults. In this case, it is better to refer to your reluctance to continue communication in this way and shut up.
Correspondence between topics is good, if this word is applicable here, that if a quarrel has occurred, then you should be the first to leave this discussion. Everything is exactly the same here. If the girl is to blame, then you are the first to get out of the quarrel and distance yourself from her. She can continue to provoke, insult, but it’s worse for her. The more unanswered insults from her, the more she will regret this quarrel a little later. Believe me and never fall for provocations, no matter how much you want to.
If you’re to blame, and you’re really to blame, and you didn’t make it up to yourself, then you can explain yourself once. If they don’t want to listen to you, then don’t bother further. They have closed themselves off from you and it would be better to just finish writing. It's the same with calls and live discussions.
If they want to listen to you, then explain yourself once and that’s it. If they don't even want to listen, don't try. You should not go through the closed doors of the house. It's like proving something verbally to someone who has closed their ears.
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