Serious questions for a guy regarding relationships: a list. Signs that a guy is serious

Adviсe

What to expect from heart-to-heart conversations?
The purpose of frank conversation
What's the best way to start?
Make your feelings known
Recommendations

Sometimes there comes a time in a relationship when one of the partners feels the need to speak out, but the fear of being misunderstood, a sense of shame, pride, and sometimes basic politeness prevents them from starting a conversation.

Where does this feeling come from and why speak frankly at all, and most importantly, how to do it correctly?

As a rule, women tend to sort things out more often than men, since they are conventionally considered more emotional. Men, on the contrary, suppress emotions in every possible way, avoid heart-to-heart conversations, considering this to be the lot of the weaker sex and a manifestation of male weakness. But in this way, without realizing it, they cause harm to themselves: after all, by suffering secretly, they endanger their mental health, not to mention relationships that are left to chance.

In fact, men are just as capable of being open as women, talking about themselves all night long. Deep down they want to open up completely, you just need to create the conditions for this:

gain the trust of a partner; find the right moment; choose the right words.

What to expect from heart-to-heart conversations?

Sincerity is an enduring value, thanks to which it is easier for people to understand relationships with each other. At the same time, it is a tool that requires skills and abilities.

There are people for whom moments of revelation are very difficult. Realizing that holding negative emotions inside will never get rid of problems, they continue to stubbornly remain silent. The reason for this behavior lies in childhood fears, self-doubt, and distrust of the partner.

In contrast, there is another extreme - people who abuse frank conversations. Unfortunately, their revelations are not aimed at the benefit of the relationship, but are rather a demonstration of their weaknesses. Thus, they try to relieve themselves of responsibility for the mistakes they have made.

Frank conversations can have different effects on relationships: they can alienate or bring people closer together. It all depends on the situation and on the ability to tactfully formulate your desires.

Lack of frankness in relationships leads to separation and alienation. This is a pattern.

By containing dissatisfaction and keeping silent about problems that make themselves felt, the couple can survive for some time. However, sooner or later the conflict will mature and reach such a peak point when the patience of one of them will burst, and the fermented mass of discontent will take the form of anger and burst out in the form of a stream of reproaches and insults, putting an end to the relationship.

If both partners are extremely patient and not aggressive, another option is possible: stagnation in the relationship, which will lead to an imperceptible, painless separation.

Test “How serious is your relationship”?

How serious is your relationship?
There is even a special test that allows you to solve the question of how to understand whether a man is serious. Each question has multiple answer options. Choose the one that suits you and see how many points it gives. Add up all the points you received and see the result. So, let's go!

Question 1. What material signs of attention does your loved one provide?

He always gives gifts - 3
Always treats you to something tasty - 2
Often gives beautiful bouquets of flowers - 5
Pays for transport travel and no more - 1

Question 2. He called with a proposal for a walk, and you say that you are not in the mood. What is he doing?

He begins to persuade and may even become offended - 2
He'll be upset that you don't want to go - 5
Will try to cheer you up - 4
Silently accept the refusal and wish you a good evening - 1

Question 3. Does your loved one sacrifice any hobbies for you?

Yes, he has already done this - 7
He tries to find compromises to make everyone comfortable - 4
Maybe he’ll give in a couple of times - 2
He will never give up his hobby even for me - 1

Question 4. Do you know about his ex-girlfriends:

All - 4
A little inaccurate - 2
Almost nothing - 3
He hides from them - 0

Question 5. Are you discussing your plans for the upcoming vacation?

Of course, we have already decided where and for how long we will go - 7
He prefers that you decide and accepts any decision - 5
He himself doesn’t know what he wants to do on vacation - 3
We have vacations at different times, and therefore we don’t plan vacations - 1

Question 6. You are together and suddenly someone called him. What will he do?

He will calmly answer and talk in front of you - 5
He will drop the call and not even look who is calling - 4
Immediately steps aside so you can’t hear the conversation - 1
They never call him when you're together - 0

Question 7: What is your preferred look for him?

He receives you even in home clothes or pajamas - 7
He's not against sportswear - 4
He only likes you in evening wear - 2
Your best look for him is in beautiful lingerie - 3

Question 8: What does he do when you run out of things to talk about?

Just looking at you - 7
Starts to joke and tell jokes - 5
He begins to think that he has offended you and asks why - 3
Looks at TV - 0

Question 9: Can you imagine him proposing?

Yes, because we constantly talk about the future - 7
If I take the initiative into my own hands, he will be happy about it - 5
Maybe quickly, but definitely romantic - 1
I have a hard time imagining this... 0

Now let's count the points and see the result:

From 54 to 40 points. He really takes you seriously. His feelings are so strong that he cannot imagine life without you.

From 39 to 29 points. Your relationship is full of passion. But falling in love is not a reason that it’s time to get married. We need to wait some more time and then see what happens.

From 28 to 15 points. A man has feelings for you, but is simply afraid to go deeper into them, but he doesn’t want to lose you either. All that remains is to endure until he stops being afraid.

From 6 to 14 points. The man's feelings cooled down. Think about whether you may have made a mistake somewhere, and also what will help you get his love back.

The purpose of frank conversation

It is always easier to prevent any problem than to deal with its consequences later and try to fix everything. In cases where one feels good and the other suffers, restraint and patience are no longer virtues, but hypocrisy. Why?

Think for yourself: feel one thing, say another, do another - such self-sacrifice is unjustified even for the sake of preserving the family.

Frank conversations, on the contrary, help strengthen healthy relationships. And this is not a whim, as some people think, but a method of solving problems, relieving tension and good conflict prevention.

The main thing is to learn to do it correctly, without infringing on yourself or others.

Soft voice and measured pace

A common mistake girls make when they want to talk to a guy about relationships is to have a too high-pitched tone of voice. Don't chatter and lash out at the ultrasound . Your boyfriend simply won’t understand you, and your speech will merge into one continuous sound stream. The reaction can be very diverse: from withdrawal to aggression.

There is only one conclusion: if you want a guy to hear you, control your voice and speech rate. Better yet, practice with a voice recorder. If you enjoy listening to yourself, then the guy will appreciate it too. You remember how much our voice influences our state of happiness. Don't underestimate him

What's the best way to start?

Sometimes, a good start can lead the whole conversation in the right direction and bring relief to both partners - this is ideal.

It is best to take your time and choose the appropriate moment when both are calm and ready to talk.

Avoid tense, harsh phrases like “we need to talk,” which can immediately build a wall between the participants in the conversation.

Formulate the same thing a little differently: “I wanted to tell you something,” “I can talk to you. I’m worried…” so that the partner feels a sincere note in the voice, the caring gaze of a loved one.

How to get a man to have a frank conversation

Sometimes it is not possible to bring a man to a frank conversation, but you feel that in the current situation you cannot do without it. Considering the peculiarities of the chosen one’s psychology, do not blame him for not wanting to talk, but try to cheat a little.

Before you bring a man to talk about feelings and relationships, do some preparation. Do not start discussing issues of interest with a hungry and tired partner, as he is not able to concentrate. Give yourself the opportunity to come to your senses.
Don't use the expression "we need to talk." This will be a mistake and may cause harm. Men, hearing this, begin to panic, imagining a series of undesirable events: they are abandoned, they become pregnant, or something else - worse. We shouldn’t go straight – we’re looking for a detour. Let's say a guy has become less affectionate, and you are tormented by the question of the reasons for his behavior. Before you bring a man into conversation to find out the truth, remember the best time of your relationship and, as if by chance, say: “Changes happen over time, I wonder why this happens?” Perhaps the man will also want to reflect on a given topic and will even be able to offer something.

The key to a successful conversation is choosing the right words. In order for your partner to perceive the conversation calmly, do not be too emotional. If possible, avoid words such as “late, sorry, future, past, goodbye, someone else, needs” and the like.

Use a little trick. If you manage to get a man to talk about relationships, do not ask him questions that require detailed answers, such as “what feelings do you experience?” Representatives of the stronger sex, due to the peculiarities of psychology and an analytical mindset, will perceive the phrase “can I know what you’re thinking about?” much more positively.
It is important for a man to feel protected and in control of the current situation. Therefore, when starting a conversation on intimate topics, do not make the mistake of glaring at him - this will make your partner feel uncomfortable. He feels his defenses weakening. If you decide to have a heart-to-heart talk, do it in his arms, preferably after intimacy, clinging closely to your loved one. And then he will tune in to frankness.
If you want to get answers to questions, do not rush your partner under any circumstances. He may not immediately join the conversation. A man should reflect on what takes time. He himself is unlikely to return to the conversation, so clarify when you can continue the dialogue. After waiting for the right moment, try again to get him to be frank. Surely now you will succeed.

Marriage is a constant joint work of a man and a woman, during which, as a rule, they discuss important life moments. Everything that worries one partner should be listened to and perceived by the other. Playing with one goal is unacceptable. If a man is not moved by your problems, question the seriousness of his intentions.

Make your feelings known

That’s why it’s so important to be able to talk about your needs and desires. Hints, even the most obvious ones, can be ignored or misunderstood due to the peculiarities of male perception.

Once you have started, tell your partner what you feel, what worries you about yourself or about him. What are you afraid of, what solution do you see, offer a choice of options.

Then let your partner speak: be prepared for the fact that he will need time to think a little longer than you expect. It is important to listen to the person to the end, to see the situation through his eyes.

Be careful and listen to him

If your goal is to preserve the relationship, then you should take his words very carefully. You will have time to speak out. Listen more than talk and ask questions . If you can’t keep your emotions to yourself at all, then write everything on paper and tell everything to yourself 10 times before a serious conversation with a guy. You will notice that unnecessary details and emotions will melt before your eyes and only the essence will remain. (I said “serious conversation,” but try not to take it too seriously ).

If a guy suggests postponing the conversation, don’t insist (if you are sure that the conversation will happen in the end anyway). Talk about it when you return to the topic that concerns you. It might be helpful to add that this is really important to you.

Recommendations

In conclusion, here are some useful recommendations that will help you avoid serious mistakes:

put your demands in the form of a request or a wish if you want your partner to listen to you: frank direct demands and frank conversation are far from the same thing. Claims can harm relationships because they are nagging in nature; keep in mind that a man is more vulnerable than a woman, try so that your criticism does not hurt his self-esteem; be honest and frank yourself, you cannot force your partner to be frank with cunning tricks, playing with feelings.

Signs that a guy is serious - how to tell?

The question of how to understand whether a man is serious arises among women more often than others. Some people think that a man is afraid of relationships, but in reality this is not the case. Every man is afraid that the relationship will not work out very well and therefore delays the transition to the next stage.

It also happens that a man constantly changes girls. Today he has one, and a week later he has another. This is a normal situation, it means that the man is in search and he will continue until he meets the one with whom he is the best.

How to understand a man's feelings?

If you don't know if this story is about you, then pay attention to some signs:

He constantly wants to be around . Men are very simple. If they like being with a woman, then they always strive for it. When a man has serious intentions, he never waits for the woman to make the first move, but he himself tries to make sure that they pay attention to him.
He doesn't disappear unexpectedly . This is related to the previous sign. When a guy takes you seriously, he will never disappear without explanation and then appear as if nothing had happened. Usually men try to remind themselves more often, otherwise suddenly someone else will take the girl away.
It’s easy for you to be with him, and all because he accepts you as you are . You don't have to hold the bar and show that you are better. He loves you just like that, with all the shortcomings and “cockroaches” in your head. If you are pretending and trying to appear better, then it is better to refuse such a relationship. After all, you will always have to behave this way.
He's reliable . If a man is committed to a serious relationship with a girl, then he never forces her to remain in a sense of uncertainty. He never changes plans at the last moment or refuses a meeting, and if help is needed, it will definitely come.
He is making plans for the future . These are not just dreams, but very real and adequate plans. These are not just thoughts about where to go on vacation or a trip somewhere next year, but, for example, the decision to live together. All men, when they are ready for a serious relationship, are not afraid to talk about the future and show it in reality.

Marriage proposal

He lets you into his world . His friends have become yours too, and you also know all his relatives. It is important that they like you, then it will be confirmed internally that he made the right choice. Although, this does not mean that if your mother, for example, for some reason is against your relationship, then the man will leave you.
He values your opinion . When a man is serious towards you, he often asks for advice, discusses issues that are important to him, and so on. This way it shows that you are important.
He shares your hobbies . This is very important, because a person who cares about you will definitely share your hobbies. And it doesn’t matter what exactly they are connected with. Keep in mind that he will want you to share his favorite activities. Otherwise, he will think that you are not serious.
He wants to propose . The present. This means that he was striving for exactly this format of relationship. This is where many women make mistakes. They choose guys who have not yet decided what is important to them. And then they hope that everything will gradually improve.
You are the main person for him . He devotes quite a lot of time to you, more than to others. He tries to do everything for you and shows that you are important to him.

All these signs show that the guy is serious about you and maybe he has not proposed yet, it seems that everything is going that way.

Fighting stance3

When the wife says: “Shall we talk?” and puts his hands on his hips, a feeling of irritation and danger flashes sharply in the man’s brain. Now something will begin! The right behavior during a conversation is part of success or failure. This is an important rule for women. For the dialogue to be successful, it is necessary to prepare for it as for an important interview. In front of her superiors, a woman will not behave cheekily, aggressively, defiantly...

And, a husband (or partner) is no less important, or rather a more significant figure in a girl’s life than some boss, and you should approach a conversation with him carefully and thoughtfully. A woman should sit next to him, touch him during a conversation, listen carefully to his answers, showing with all appearance a desire to understand the interlocutor, and not accuse him of something.

Ways to confess your love to a man

Think carefully about how you will do this. Choose a simple method so that the young person understands the message.

Hints and mysterious messages

An unsuccessful option for recognition, especially if there are several fans in your immediate circle. A man may misinterpret the signs and think that out of solidarity the woman is helping her friend get him. If you decide to hint, choose a frank method - seduction. After capturing attention, talk, but use soft expressions like “like”, “interesting”, “nice”.

Letter and other romantic options

Romance does not inspire, but surprises young people. Women, trying to fully express emotions, come up with long messages written by hand. Guys don’t read letters like this to the end, they get bored. If you decide to go with this option, choose a short note format with a signature. Do not put it on your desk because of the risk of loss; hand it in person when the young man is free or after an evening spent together.

READ

Erotic and exciting SMS to your beloved man

SMS and social networks

A convenient way of recognition, but do not expect a response after reading. The girl gets ready, comes up with a text and expects the reaction to follow instantly. A man tends to critically evaluate words, focusing on actions and behavior. If a response is received, it will be in a day or at a meeting. Remember that confession is a method of expressing emotions, so it is not obligatory.

How to behave if the feelings are not mutual

Before confessing, think about a possible refusal, about the lack of reciprocity. In this case:

do not show negative emotions or aggression - if the young man’s answer is not thought through, accepting his decision can change his opinion to the opposite;
do not impose, do not pursue - this will not achieve sympathy;
Don’t cry—tears repel you and wash off your makeup.

Advice from psychologists

Everyone wants to be desired and loved. Unfortunately, not all guys like to confess their feelings. Sometimes the weaker sex has to take the initiative. But not everyone understands how to properly confess love. Often girls in love worry whether they should be the first to tell a man about their feelings.

READ The look of a man in love: how to recognize it and not confuse it with slyness

Advice from psychologists will help you understand the situation:

Take your time. Treat your capabilities adequately. If you are not ready to confess, then it is better to wait. But don’t stop paying attention to your lover - flirt and protect him from other women. Otherwise, you may lose your guy.
Don't be intrusive. Guys do not like importunity; they prefer to show their leadership qualities in relationships. When a man is not ready for serious actions, there is no need to try with all your might to tame him. Be gentler. Let the guy think that he is the one taking the initiative, even if this is not entirely true. If your lover becomes too pliable, you yourself will lose interest in him.

Consider his “love language.” Men have different attitudes towards manifestations of love. For some, a delicious dinner and comfort in the apartment are important, for others - compliments and praise, and still others are partial to gifts. It is not necessary to speak to a guy only in his language, but it should be a priority.
Choose the right moment. A man should not be distracted by problems and matters. Better invite him to a romantic dinner or a walk. Then the beloved will be in a good-natured mood and, most likely, will reciprocate.
Consider your feelings. Is this really true love or just a slight infatuation? The relationship must be long-lasting at the time of recognition - at least three months. During this time, lovers have time to get to know each other better and understand what they are experiencing. Declaring your love to a man with whom you have recently been together can scare you away.
Say you are ready for rejection. Be sure to mention in the conversation that you will understand if the guy does not reciprocate. Let there be no pressure on him from your side. You can calmly find out how your beloved imagines the relationship in the future, find out about his plans and intentions, and then evaluate whether this suits you.

When you don’t understand whether you should tell a man that you really like him, throw away the fear. Don't be afraid to confess your love to your guy. If the feelings are mutual, then this will help take them to the next level. A loved one will not remain indifferent to such a courageous act. He may be confused at first, but he will soon be happy. In the future, you will certainly remember with pride your recognition, which brought a lot of excitement.