Many guys often get confused when talking to girls. When that awkward pause occurs, both interlocutors feel a certain discomfort, which has an extremely negative impact on future relationships. Even if a young man is smart, sociable, not complex, but truly in love, it can be difficult for him to correctly express his thoughts. He starts to get nervous and say inappropriate things. All this leads to the fact that the interlocutor develops a negative opinion about him. It is especially important to know what to talk about with a girl on the phone at the very beginning of dating. If you want to make a good impression on her, then read on.
Preparing for the first dialogue
It’s not difficult to find interesting topics to talk to a girl on the phone, especially if the conversation started not so long ago. A man chooses from a huge variety of things that are exciting for both him and his potential partner. You can ask about anything, for example:
- About what the lady is interested in. This is banal, but such conversations never exhaust themselves - they come back to them again and again, especially if people’s hobbies coincide.
- About dreams, plans for life, thoughts. It is important not to brag or exaggerate your capabilities. In the first days of dating, it is normal to discuss dreams, goals, plans, or share something intimate if trusting communication has been established fairly quickly.
- About art, culture, literature, music and cinema. All people listen to songs, watch films, visit some places, read books. Surely a woman will be able to share something that is close to her. There is a chance that the couple’s preferences will coincide, then this topic can be developed ad infinitum.
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You cannot ask personal questions right away. It is polite to ask how your interlocutor is doing. But there is no need to ask her about anything specific.
Phone call rules
Proper communication on the phone is the key to a successful conversation. How to conduct a dialogue correctly?
- Call at a convenient time for your interlocutor. Just in case, ask if you are distracting him from important matters.
- Don't forget to greet the guy and introduce yourself, especially if you decide to call him for the first time.
- If a guy calls you himself, pick up the phone after the second, or at least after the third ring.
- Think about the purpose of your call in advance.
- Don't waste time on empty talk if you are calling about a specific issue. Get to the point right away, you can chat later.
- Try not to be nervous, be relaxed.
- Know how to listen and not interrupt.
- Answer your guy's questions honestly and meaningfully.
- Try not to keep it on your phone for too long. He may have other important things to do.
- Don't worry if the conversation doesn't go the way you want. Perhaps this is just not your person.
- Don't eat while talking on the phone.
- Try not to discuss personal issues if you are in a crowded place. As a last resort, move away from people nearby.
- Have a few interesting questions ready to avoid awkward, long silences in the conversation.
It might be interesting: why does the guy write every day, but doesn’t invite me anywhere.
How to start a dialogue
Learning how to communicate with a girl on the phone is also not difficult. You should start with a greeting and a question about whether everything is okay with the woman. You should definitely ask to make sure that the lady is inclined to talk and is in a good mood. If the interlocutors discussed something specific last time, then you can return to the dialogue again and continue it. You should not be afraid of awkward pauses - if you focus on this, there will be more of them. You need to relax, tune in to a pleasant conversation, not worry and not show signs of embarrassment.
What to talk about
invite a girl to talk on the phone about the following topics:
- Favorite animals. You should ask if the interlocutor loves animals, if she has a pet, if she wants to have someone.
- Plans for the near future. For example, what movie would she like to go to. This will be a reason to go to it together.
- Food, taste habits . The topic related to food will never exhaust itself. And this is also a reason to invite a young lady on a date to a cafe or restaurant.
- Esoterics, psychology. You can discuss your views on mysticism, your past experience, if any. It is advisable to talk about unusual things that happened in life and think about how this is explained from a scientific point of view.
- Trips. The girl will talk about where she has been and where she would like to go. She will probably be interested to hear the same from a man.
- Sport. Physical culture and famous personalities in the world of sports are not of interest to everyone, but a woman or a boy will be able to express some opinion about current events, competitions, and Olympics, especially if it is close to both of them.
- Funny habits. Everyone has some funny tricks that their friends and comrades laugh at. They are worth sharing - it allows you to get to know the person in more detail.
The topic of religion and belief must be spoken very carefully, without criticism or condemnation. Even if a woman considers herself an atheist, she is unlikely to like categorical statements about other people. If religious views do not coincide, then there is no need to argue - let everyone remain with their own opinion.
A girl should laugh
You called and seemed to do everything right, but the girl refused you a date? So you were too monotonous and boring. The green light to move forward is the girl's laughter. If she doesn't smile during a conversation with you, there won't be any business. To do this, you yourself must be cheerful and charming.
Make her laugh - this is the first goal of a telephone conversation!
The culmination of the entire conversation should be your joke. Make her laugh. Then she will let go of all her tension and the conversation will go easier.
You should evoke laughter and a smile in the first minutes of communication. Don't let her be sad, passive and uninterested in the conversation. In fact, a girl may have a lot of reasons for being in a bad mood and you may not be to blame for this. But your task is to make a joke so that she still laughs. And when this happens, you say: “Finally, you started to smile.”
. After this, the girl gains confidence in you, feels some kind of care and concern on your part.
How to talk correctly
It is important to pay attention not only to what to talk about with the girl you like on the phone, but also to the intonation and timbre of your voice. The call does not convey the facial expressions of the interlocutor, so you need to correctly convey emotions using your voice.
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A woman should not think that the young man is indifferent to her stories, unemotional, or fixated on something else. It is necessary to communicate politely, without interrupting or shouting into the phone - sometimes such things happen unconsciously.
How to end the conversation
Before you say goodbye to the young lady, you need to make sure that she doesn’t want to say anything. If you interrupt her speech, it will be impolite and ugly. There is no need to hang up the phone abruptly either - everything should happen naturally. A young man's farewell will look like he is in a hurry to get somewhere if you rush and quickly end the conversation after a heated discussion.
In the evening, you should wish your interlocutor good night, and in the morning, have a good day. Politeness encourages further communication. If the young man behaves as gallantly as possible, then the woman will want to talk to him regularly. Any person is pleased when they care about his well-being, are interested in his affairs, wish him a good morning and a pleasant evening - it is necessary to focus on the little things, because this is what communication consists of.
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A little psychology
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What else do you need to know about telephone conversations?
- When talking to a guy, speak in a confident voice, even if you are nervous.
- If you have important information for a guy, tell him right away.
- Is there a pause in the conversation? Don't worry. It’s better to remain silent once again than to say something stupid without thinking.
- There is no need to criticize his interests, hobbies and outlook on life. Even if you don’t agree with him, be able to express yourself correctly. Not “You don’t understand anything about this,” but “I think differently because...”.
- There is nothing wrong with calling the guy yourself and taking a step towards meeting him.
- Do not drag out the conversation for too long, otherwise the conversation will become tedious and routine.
What topics should you not discuss?
It’s clear how to talk to a girl on the phone, but there are also topics that are strictly prohibited for communication. It is better to avoid this list of questions, otherwise the lady will be offended, form a false impression about the man, or become angry with him. You cannot talk about the following:
- About former relationships. It is not recommended to discuss past partners at all. It’s worth talking about them if people are already together and don’t want to hide anything and are ready to share any details.
- About sex. It is better to start such topics if people already trust each other, and not just met. A woman may feel that it is inappropriate to talk about this with a stranger.
- About finances. Money is not the most romantic topic. You should not talk about material problems so that your interlocutor does not perceive it as a complaint. It is better to remain silent about successes, too, otherwise the girl will think that the young man is bragging. In addition, this may be a pressing problem for her.
- About intra-family troubles. A woman she doesn’t know well doesn’t want to know about the young man’s relationship with his relatives. Such issues are brought up for discussion only when people have already decided to be a couple and lead a life together. And communication with relatives is a very scrupulous and delicate conversation; it will certainly be perceived by the interlocutor in the wrong way.
- About complexes. If a young man tells a girl that he is not satisfied with his character or appearance, then she will constantly pay attention to this. A small flaw is exaggerated and becomes more noticeable in the eyes of the interlocutor.
It is better to discuss something positive and pleasant. The psyche is structured in such a way that if a person constantly listens to bad things, then he unconsciously avoids subsequent conversations. If the conversation is cheerful, funny, romantic, sweet, then the girl, on the contrary, will begin to be drawn to the boy.
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Questions not to ask a young man
Topics for conversation with a guy, whether by correspondence or on a walk, need to be chosen carefully. If you're not in a relationship, you shouldn't ask vulgar questions. You also don't need to ask the following:
- Who has better sex - me or your ex?
- Why did you break up with your ex?
- How am I in your account?
- How much do you earn?
- When will we see each other next?
- Do you really love me?
- Why do you love Me?
- How many children would you like to have?
- Are you planning to marry me?
- What are you thinking about right now?
- Why didn't you answer me when I called?
- Don't you notice anything?
- Is sport more attractive to you than it is to me?
- Who is messaging you?
- Did you cheat on me in a relationship?
- Do you think I've gotten better? Should I lose weight?
We have considered almost all existing topics for conversation with a guy, which can be discussed by correspondence or in person (over a call or on a walk).
Armed with the above list of questions, you will be able to interest your lover. But keep in mind that asking only questions and getting answers to them, like in a quiz, is not effective.
It is necessary to start a discussion of something using these questions. In addition, it is necessary to take other measures, otherwise communication will remain only virtual.
Common mistakes during a telephone conversation
There are several common mistakes that men often make when talking on the phone with a girl.
Here are the most popular ones:
- When a young man does not know what to say, he begins to laugh it off. But inappropriate jokes will not only not save the situation, but will also make it even worse.
- Young people often get ahead of themselves when no relationship with the young lady has yet begun. They begin to talk out loud about how life together could develop, and this scares some girls.
- Guys put psychological pressure on women or demand answers from them by asking rhetorical questions. The interlocutor will perceive this in a negative way.
- A man is capable of giving a young lady an inappropriate compliment. To say that she looks better, has lost weight, has become more well-groomed. It will sound as if the woman did not take care of her appearance before. It is necessary to monitor such moments. If you want to give a compliment, then you need to say more simply: “You are beautiful,” “You look good,” “I like your clothing preferences,” etc.
- In no case should you devalue the emotions of a potential partner if she moves on to discussing something important to her. A young man should not say that all this is nonsense, empty worry, a waste of time and the like - such words hurt a person.
You can’t allow yourself too much, be over-familiar, or cross acceptable boundaries. Even if there is already friendship between people, this does not mean that a woman will be pleased to watch a guy get into her personal space. This applies to intimate topics, experiences and everything that the interlocutor talks about.
If you feel that she is not in a very good mood, sad or upset, then you need to reschedule the conversation for later. It is better to ask if she wants to discuss certain topics and build on her answer.
Getting ready to talk on the phone with a girl
Given a strong and sincere sympathy for a girl, many guys are at a loss when meeting or making the first call, not knowing what to talk about with the object of their sympathy. This is due to the desire to show oneself from the best side and thereby arouse reciprocal interest. Many people, out of embarrassment, say meaningless phrases, make bad jokes, or start inappropriate topics of conversation, pushing the stranger away.
Psychologists advise that before calling a girl, gather your thoughts and plan the conversation during the preparation stage. You will have to think through several points:
- Greetings . You should not use SMS messages and banal phrases for greetings, such as “Hello, how are you,” as this will immediately cause boredom on the part of the girl. If communication is still at the stage of friendship, you can simply say “Hello”; if you are in a romantic mood, the phrase can be supplemented somewhat, for example, “Hello, dear.”
- Time to call . Knowing the girl’s daily routine or her work and school schedule, a man must choose the right time for a conversation. If you call during working hours, the girl will be in a hurry and distracted by other topics.
- The purpose of the conversation . Calling without a purpose is not always advisable or justified, so a man needs to start a conversation with any question that interests him, for example, about the girl’s health or her mood.
- Topics for conversation. You definitely need to think through the topics of the conversation in advance in order to interest her and show your best side. It is advisable to choose those options in which both partners will be competent, so that there are no awkward pauses.
- The outcome of the conversation. Any conversation should be with the goal of realizing some task that the man defines. You need to think in advance about how to offer the girl a meeting or the next call to continue the conversation. At the end, you can wish him good night, a productive working day, say pleasant words and compliments.
Only by thinking through all the above points in advance before the call will the first communication be sure to go well. In addition, preliminary preparation will help maintain peace of mind and balance, which for girls is an indicator of the personal qualities and character of the interlocutor. The phrases “it seems to me”, “maybe” or “I don’t know” should be removed from speech so as not to seem to the girl as an insecure, doubting guy without a clear position.